FIVE WAYS TO CELEBRATE VALENTINE’S DAY

Writer / Aimee MacArthur Photography Provided

While some may think of Valentine’s Day as a commercial holiday, I see it as a sweet day of celebration. I’ve loved the holiday since I was a kid, decked out in red, heart-shaped jewelry and indulging in plenty of Valentine’s treats. I admit it - I live for a holiday.

Valentine’s Day reminds me that spring and warmer weather isn’t too far away. I get the opportunity to celebrate those who bring joy to my life. It might be my family, friends or even a trusted neighbor. I’ve enjoyed so many kinds of Valentine’s Days over the years - a romantic dinner, an evening out with friends or a night bowling with family. There wasn’t a bad time since I spent it with the people I care about. A beautiful bouquet of flowers and dinner is always a special treat, but celebrating Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to break your budget. A simple gesture like a thoughtful, handwritten note is always appreciated. Don’t forget the ones you love on this special day. I’ve got a few fun and different ideas for you to celebrate those closest to you. Here are five ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Give Sports A Shot

What’s more fun than cheering on a sports team? I am a fan of attending a basketball game on Valentine’s Day. I enjoy sitting in the stands, screaming with the other fans and discussing the referee calls with my friends. We even do a little trash talk and make a few friendly wagers. Don’t forget the soda, popcorn and other treats from the concession stand. If basketball isn’t your sport, try attending a hockey game. My cousin and her family are devoted hockey fans, and always cheer on their local hockey team and dine at their favorite pizza restaurant after the game.

Make A Special Meal At Home

Whether it’s casual or fancy, a home-cooked meal hits the spot and feeds the soul. I believe food always tastes better when someone else does the cooking. I like to make cheese fondue with all the fixings, like slices of apples, carrots, grapes and pieces of warm French bread. A friend of mine and her kids have a pizza night complete with individual heartshaped pizzas. They also make heart-shaped Rice Krispies treats topped with rainbow sprinkles. My aunt and uncle like to make their day extra special and splurge on Valentine’s Day dinner at home, by enjoying king crab legs dipped in butter with a pair of juicy steaks. A Valentine’s Day meal doesn’t have to be dinner. You can make breakfast for the family. My brother enjoys making heart-shaped banana pancakes for the kids, and bacon cooked in an air fryer. Don’t forget your pets. This year I plan to pick up a cupcake from a dog bakery for my miniature poodle, Louis. I want to make sure everyone in the family feels special, including my dog.

Pay It Forward

One of my neighbors always makes sure to check in with other neighbors, especially an elderly neighbor, and even leaves sweet notes and candy in mailboxes every Valentine’s Day for a handful of us neighbors. I plan to do the same for my neighbors this year. I will leave a note thanking them for being great neighbors, with a bag of Valentine’s treats like conversation hearts, cinnamon candy hearts and chocolate. I also plan to include a small gift card from a local coffee shop. I don’t mind treating my favorite neighbors to candy and coffee.

Grand Games

I’m a fan of a game of healthy competition every now and then. I spent previous Valentine’s Days with a group of friends, bowling, playing pool and enjoying a few games of darts. My family and I also like to attend a local trivia game. This year we might visit the golf range, which is open year-round, and work on our swings while we enjoy appetizers and drinks. If you want to play games at home, no worries. I’ve got a great idea for you. My aunt hosts a fun-filled Valentine’s Day game night, and guests feast on my aunt’s famous homemade lasagna and garlic bread while they play games like Bunco, Hearts and Scattergories. If it isn’t too cold outside, guests will venture out in the backyard to play cornhole and horseshoes.

Practically Perfect

I’m a fan of practical gifts and I don’t think there’s anything sweeter than taking care of an otherwise mundane or time-consuming errand for a significant other or spouse. Get an oil change for the car, plus a car wash and detailing. Leave a sweet note in the cupholder and arrange for a meal at home or dinner at your favorite restaurant. My friend’s husband arranges for the house to be cleaned on Valentine’s Day, and a day at a spa for his wife. My friend says getting a massage and manicure at a spa and then coming home to a clean house is the greatest Valentine’s Day gift. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. My neighbor’s husband completes a to-do list. He hangs up pictures, steam cleans the carpets and straightens up the garage. It doesn’t cost much, and the hard work and thoughtfulness doesn’t go unnoticed.

Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photography Provided

Following the loss of a child, the most common response parents hear is, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” That’s a fair sentiment because there truly is nothing more brutal than enduring the death of a son or daughter. In the wake of such paralyzing pain, it’s difficult to know what to do, where to go or how to function. David Cook knows this all too well. His daughter, Leslie Christine Cook-Dickerson, was murdered in April 2003 at the age of 25.

Chuck Findley has also walked this excruciating path as his two young sons, Jake (12) and Travis (9), were killed in a SUV/train collision in February 2007. Both men have been part of a support group called “Mornings with Dads,” which originated in 2004 on the northside and 2011 on the southside.

“When you’re in the depths of intense and unthinkable grief after losing a child or children, with no will to live, no idea of where to turn or how to get through each brutal day, massive uncertainties and lost hope for a great future, this group completely understands the emotions and pain you’re going through and gives invaluable support, comfort, love and advice that turns into a brotherhood for a lifetime,” Findley says , who joined the group three months after his sons’ deaths. “Doing so was one of the best things I did to help with my grief. I knew immediately as I walked into the first meeting that I was in the right place.”

At Mornings with the Dads, fathers gather weekly with other fathers at a local restaurant to share their stories, sorrow and support. It’s a safe place to express emotions because everyone in the group understands what everyone else is going through.

“I remember the first meeting I attended. I drove to the restaurant and sat in the parking lot, scared to death of what I was going into,” Cook says. When he did finally work up the nerve to step inside, he was met with incredible warmth. That’s not surprising because this group formed so that grieving men had someone to talk to.

“Men tend to try and cover all their emotions up and act like they’re strong and okay, but deep inside they’re hurting and need to get a lot of emotions out,” Findley says. “This is the perfect place for all of that.”

Cook’s biggest piece of advice for newly grieving parents is to not hide from the pain.

“Get it out in the open. Start dealing with it. It’s a brave thing to do,” he says. “Everyone experiences grief in their own way and that’s okay, but allow yourself the process of grieving.”

The meetings are informal and low-key. If a new dad shows up, they go around the table and introduce themselves, briefly sharing their stories and how they are coping with grief. Then they give the new dad the opportunity to speak if they want.

“Sometimes there’s crying. Sometimes there’s laughter. Sometimes we talk sports,” Cook says. “We try to keep it as warm as possible.”

The southside group meets every

Thursday morning from 7-8:30 a.m. at Denny’s off Main Street in Greenwood by I-65 (the northside group meets on Tuesday mornings). This group of men, which currently consists of between nine and 13 guys, gather outside of the weekly meeting as well—sometimes meeting for lunch, dinner or to see the Pacers play.

In 2009, the group published “Tuesday Mornings with the Dads” in which 14 of the dads penned stories. In 2016, they followed that up with “More Mornings with the Dads” that shares 18 additional stories. Tony Dungy, the former Colts coach who lost his 18-year-old son in 2005, wrote the foreword for both books.

More Mornings with the Dads (italicize the title of the book) shares stories of three former Center Grove High School students. Jennifer Longworth, daughter of Don Buxton, was a casualty of the Richmond Hills blast in 2012; Nic Habicht, son of Marv Habicht, perished in a house fire in 2004 while a student at IU Bloomington; and Steve Allen’s daughter, Lindsay, who lost her life in an auto accident.

As dads have moved away, some of them have started other Mornings with the Dads in other locations. For instance, Finley has helped start similar groups in Arizona, California and Missouri. Other dads have launched groups in Texas and Washington.

“This is the group that no one ever wants to belong to,” Cook says. “But when something like this happens in your life, you’re lucky to find a group of guys like this who can support you.”

For more information, contact David Cook at 317-319-7895, visit morningswiththedadsinc. com, or find them on Facebook @MorningswiththeDads. knucklesandwichbargersville.

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