James Koumis
How to live the life you deserve
The inspiring true story of a family’s faith and courage through many of life's challenges, and how they discovered the secrets of happiness and success
How to live the life you deserve The inspiring true story of a family’s faith and courage through many of life's challenges, and how they discovered the secrets of happiness and success.
James Koumis
How to live the life you deserve
MEMOIRS Cirencester
Published by Memoirs
Memoirs Books 25 Market Place, Cirencester, Gloucestershire, GL7 2NX info@memoirsbooks.co.uk www.memoirspublishing.com
Copyright ŠJames Koumis, March 2012 www.jkscreations.com
First published in England, February 2012 Book jacket design Ray Lipscombe ISBN 978-1-909020-01-6
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of Memoirs. Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct when going to press, we do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. The views expressed in this book are purely the author‘s.
Printed in England
How to live the life you deserve Contents Why this book was written Introduction
Chapter 1
The quest for happiness
Page 1
Chapter 2
Learning the hard way
Page 8
Chapter 3
The lessons of love
Page 15
Chapter 4
Creating your own reality
Page 21
Chapter 5
Challenging and conquering your fears
Page 30
Chapter 6
Seeking and achieving your goals
Page 50
Chapter 7
Learning from experience
Page 72
Chapter 8
The journey of life
Page 90
Dedicated to - you
Why this book was written
After all the upsets, struggles, and negative experiences I have had, including at one point nearly ending it all, I have felt a deep desire to move on to a more positive and healthy life. Having done so, I now wish to share this wonderful transformation of mine with others and above all to inspire you. I mean this from my heart and soul. To know that I can help just one person from this book will make this journey of mine all worthwhile. So prepare yourself, if you are ready to change your life for a brighter future - as I promise you will be after reading this book. Once you have applied all the information in it and have become more aware of your own existence to take this first step in faith, you will be on the way to becoming the person you really desire to be. I have written this story about actual events which occurred in my life, which led me to deep emotions of despair and desperation and a feeling that my life could not get any lower. I then started to realise that I might have found what my past experiences in life were trying to teach me. I began to understand my purpose in life and why we are all here - to experience the challenges that life keeps giving us. Deep in despair, I eventually found a glimmer of hope. Over the past few years various people, circumstances and moments have brought me to where I am today. All this happened because I followed the path I am about to share with you.
I had to make certain choices and decisions to go forward, but I also made some wrong decisions, which cost me dearly financially and mentally. I have now put this down to going through learning curves, something I am only now starting to understand clearly. I hope you enjoy this book and that it inspires you in some way to overcome whatever challenges you are facing. I do not claim to be an academic or to have any higher education degrees or letters after my name, but I do have some experiences I believe many others can learn from. I believe that if you apply and motivate yourself to start changing where you are now, you will see more clearly with every step you take how truly amazing life can be.
Introduction
When I began to write my first book back in 2006/2007, it was aimed at younger children, to help their parents to instill positive thoughts in them. It took until 2011 to finally get it republished. Back in the summer of 2006 when I had my wake-up call, through all the upsets and difficult times, I had an idea for a book which could inspire children and adults to think more in a positive way. While glancing through a magazine I had seen an advertisement for a publishing company which helped new authors to publish their books. I called them and asked them a few questions, such as how they worked, how long it would take and how much it would cost. I then thought about it for a few weeks. Something about them was bugging me. I felt it seemed too easy to be true. I sent off the finished book, and they commented that it was a lovely book which would appeal to a certain age group and convey some powerful messages of inspiration and positive thinking values. This was a delight to read from a publishing company, so I signed up and went forward with them. In 2007, the publishers sent me correspondence about the editing and completion of the book and its content and cover. I felt great. Most new authors would understand the joy of seeing their book finally being published and on the bookshelves for the first time. Unfortunately, as work was getting busy, I got sidetracked from completing the final pages. It was only after my mother died in the summer of 2010 and I had been through some difficult times with work that I felt ready to finish the book. I suppose in some way it helped me to cope with what was going on at the time, which did help me release some of my negative aspects of life.
By the end of the year 2010 I had finished my first book and it was about to be promoted through various stores and online internet services by a book sales freelancer who would recommend my book to these outlets. This started in January 2011. We had a great response from various stores which had been interested in stocking the book and having me do some signings, which would help sales. This was all new to me and I was getting very excited, to say the least. The only trouble was, I never received my copies, and the finished book was only in the form of computer files. I chased up the publishers to find out what was going on, but for months I was not told the truth about what had happened to the firm. It turned out that they had gone into liquidation and were waiting for someone to buy them out and take over existing authors, including myself. There were many disappointed authors who did not know why they had not been informed about this much earlier. I spoke to the liquidators, who were very helpful and advised me that there were a few people interested in buying the company out, but no confirmed offers had been made. I was advised that I could have my files back, but felt I was being left in limbo, as my final manuscript had been misplaced. I had the choice of waiting to see if the liquidator could find another company who would take over the publishers. They could not promise anything, or say when this might or might not happen. I had the option of asking for everything back and seeking another publisher. I was worrying about the extra expense and wondering where to go from there, as I was new to this and did not fully understand at the time the full implications. After weighing up all my options and assessing everything carefully, I decided to seek another publisher, and asked the first one to send all my information and files back to me. I spoke to my freelance book sales agent, and he recommended to me two other publishers who he was dealing with. I spoke to them both and decided to go with Memoirs Books.
I forwarded the information to Memoirs and in no time at all during the months of December 2011 and January 2012, they had sorted out a new ISBN number, republished my book and done some new editing for me, all at no cost as it was more or less finished at the time, and it was then republished. So in essence my book was freshened up. That first book took me five years to get published and on sale. It’s a short biography of me and my family and an inspiring, positivethinking book for young children. It means a great deal to me and my family to know it is now finally out there. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my sales agent Nigel Roberts and the guys at Memoirs Books, Tony Tingle and Chris Newton. Thanks for all your help. I felt so relieved and grateful that I had found some true gentlemen who sincerely helped me to go forward. From this came the book you are reading now, inspired by my daughter Lydia. It always brings a smile to my face when I think how this book turned out.
Chapter One
The quest for happiness
The truth can hurt at times, but it can also be invigorating to become aware of ourselves and learn to let go and accept the harsh reality of who we are and to move forward in life, knowing the power within us has always been there from the start. In my view, our life experiences, once learned well, are our greatest form of knowledge. They enable us all to evolve and grow in life. We must use the knowledge we gain from our experiences, good or bad, wisely, and put it into action. If we fail to do this we allow ourselves to suffer, and if we dwell on the past for too long, it will fester inside and attract further misery and upset in the future. Why continue with negative or past outcomes, which do not serve us well and allow us to hold on to feelings of judgment or resentment, jealousy or greed? I intend to explain my experiences in a straightforward manner to make them understood. I will explain things as I have learned them. I will relay my experiences and feelings to you so that you will recognise them. I hope this book will appeal to everyone, as I speak from the heart when I say that I wish for us all to enjoy our lives and to live with purpose and passion. So I urge you to keep an open mind and start looking ‘outside the box’ of your everyday life. We all have the power inside us to live a life of abundance, wealth and happiness. We only have to see and feel the small hints that life
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shows us along our journey of life. Never think to yourself that you cannot change from where you are in life right now - you can, and you will, with faith and the certainty that can grows inside you. You have to consider this. Are you happy where you want to be in your life right now? If you are, then great, you have obviously found the happiness we are all looking for. Or perhaps you were taught happiness when you were young and have made being happy a lifetime habit. If on the other hand you are not where you want to be right now, then isn’t it time to take courage and make the first step towards the happiness you desire and truly deserve? I would not claim to be happy 24 hours a day and always on a high – no one can - but during most of my waking hours I do feel much happier than I have ever felt before. This is a great feeling to have. We can all build up more of these feelings as we become more and more aware of ourselves. I can honestly say that 70-80 percent of the time I am happy with my life in general. Why do I say this? Because I have started to search from within, to search for what really matters to me. This is a journey we must all take to discover our true selves. What matters most to me is my family, but I matter too - I matter to me. People in my life matter, indeed the whole of humanity matters to me. We all live on this wonderful Earth together, and we are all connected in some way. So why not get along together and help each other? Why do so many people feel we are running out of time and therefore must have everything now, even when it’s not ours to take or we can ill afford it? We create our own misery or happiness, for the choices we make are up to us. I feel I can do whatever I set out my mind to do, with all my heart and soul. I am no longer just a number or a statistic. Sometimes I
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may feel lazy and not bother to do things - that is my choice. The point is, we all have the chance to decide what truly matters. I shall explain the different subjects and key ingredients which I believe to be the most powerful and fulfilling way to achieve your desires and aims in life. This will be mixed with my true-life experiences. I am only going to touch briefly on the key secret ingredients which I believe are the most valuable tools we can use everyday. They cost us nothing but a little time, effort and thought. I could write a whole book on each one, but I am sure this book will begin to open the doors for you to discover the life you truly desire, to get you started on your journey. We each have to take responsibility for the decisions and paths we take. So here goes - sit back, make a cup of tea or coffee or whatever you fancy, wherever you are. I wish you all the very best that life brings us all, as every moment in life can be the first step to happiness, wealth and prosperity. Remember though that it’s always up to you to make that change. Take that first step in faith, and you will see. Faith is the basis of all miracles and all mysteries, and it cannot be analyzed by the rules of science. - Napoleon Hill I believe that the feelings and thoughts we perceive and project from our minds to the universe, to life itself, the source of creation, infinite intelligence, God, our higher power, call it what you will, vibrates with energy and certainty and rebounds back to you, giving you everything you desire. Over the past five years my loving family have felt that our direction in life was going off course. This book focuses on what we
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learned about the challenges we all face from time to time with families, business, our work, our children, financial difficulties and personal upsets. My first book, The Family Who Are Living Their Dreams, was aimed at younger children who begin to understand the meanings of words as they learn. It was to help parents to read to their children and instil positive thoughts and positive feelings, which would become a habitual way of learning for their future growth. Children are like sponges and will pick up on everything we teach them and everything they see and feel around them. From a very young age they are sensitive to our vibes and feelings. If you plant a seed and nurture it, watching it grow over time, it will develop strong roots. Once they are firmly set in the ground, it will be very difficult for it to fall down. Plant a bad seed and never nurture or care for it, and you will see the branches falling off one by one. If we start teaching our children from an early age, it not only teaches them confidence and not to be afraid but helps them to be competent and to influence and inspire others as they grow up. My first book was also written as a list of my desires and wishes, which had started to come true over the past five years. I am still determined to fulfil them. At first I did not realise how powerful desires can be. Now I have come to understand that we should be careful what we wish for, as most of the time it will come true, even when you have not realised you made the wish. This book arose from my first in the most uncanny way. This is what I would refer to as one of life’s synchronicities. I shall explain this in later chapters. As my wishes started to materialise I did not give complete focus and attention to the creative aspect and allow things to unfold patiently and truly trust in life to guide me. Things started to happen
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so fast that without realising it I took my eye of everything. I did not appreciate how my experiences were meant to be teaching me how life should be evolving. I know now that I was too impatient to have it all too quickly, and I became consumed with it all. Not realising that I should have disciplined myself more, I allowed things to get out of control. I was overwhelmed by my work and realised yet again that life was showing me which path I was meant to be on. Life put the brakes on, for me to gather my thoughts and to educate me further. Though I had suffered severe personal and financial losses, I understand now that it taught me yet again that we must be focused and persistent with what we aim for, and not slip back into the old ways of thinking. I truly believe that life has a plan for us all, and we have to allow it to guide us in the right direction. Most things tend to work out for the best if we allow them to. If we rush in in panic mode to try and solve our challenges, things can turn out horribly wrong. We must learn more about faith, belief and courage and take action to start living our lives by focusing on positive feelings and visualizing our positive dreams. We must also allow ourselves to evolve patiently, and always notice, when we are faced with challenges or choices, that every decision, big or small, could change our lives forever. If you are one of those people who may be thinking that we cannot choose the way our life is now, or change our circumstances in any way, then you are wrong. We can all start to change once we are aware of who we really are, and if we are willing to take action when required to do so. You cannot expect others to do it all for you. You have to get out of your comfort zone and make the change. Once you do this, you will attract people, circumstances and experiences that will guide you to your ultimate goal. I am only starting to do this now, with all the knowledge I have gained over these past years.
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This first step of mine has taken me nearly five years to understand. It may take you less time or more, who knows. It depends how far you are willing to push yourself to your ultimate goal. The choices we make are always up to us as individuals. I will be explaining to you my own experiences, disasters and failures, which, looking back, have not been as severe or as extreme as those of many other people around the world. But the emotions I had were so strong that at times I did not know which way to turn. I did at one point come close to ending my life, because of my financial struggles. If I can make these small steps to change my life, so can you. Once you start doing things differently and in the right way, and make the effort to change your circumstances, your life will lead you in the right direction. Life will help you - this is a natural, harmonious universe. Nature is always expanding and growing in harmony with itself. The grass doesn’t struggle to grow. There is always air for us to breath and resources are forever being discovered. Life finds a way, and so will you. If you make a change in your routine, big or small, life will assist you. Life will always respond to your wishes. It all depends how much you really want to change. I will explain my true-life experiences and events in no particular order, while giving you my view of the key ingredients we all need to achieve success, wealth and happiness. You may notice that I repeat myself sometimes, but there is a reason I do this. I am only now starting to live my life a little more happily, every day, step by step. I have made it my goal to acquire wealth, and I have made my own affirmations regarding other aspects of my life, such as my health and my relationships. Affirmations are a powerful way to express your true feelings, if you say them out loud or write them down on a consistent basis. Visualization methods are also extremely powerful. Try picturing
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yourself with the life you wish to have, and practise this often. You will then start to feel wealth, happiness and abundance. Give it a go and see. I am not feeling desperate to have it all now. My actions and faith will determine the money, wealth and prosperity I gain in my life and my relationships with the friends and the ones I love. I will let the universe, life force and God guide me through the rest of my life. I am now living my life in a spiritual way, which resonates with me. My wealth starts from within me, which is something I have learned only recently. It is the happiness and love for my family and the love and respect I have for myself. Some of us don’t need millions of pounds, or huge quantities of material things. We should be happy with who we are first and share the great memories that life gives us along our journey. That is true wealth to me. I do hope you find what you looking for with the help of this book. After all, you felt drawn to it for a reason. There could be just one thing you require from it or many, but I am certain that whatever you choose to take from this book, it will serve you well on the journey you are about start. What the mind of man can conceive and believe The mind of man can achieve. - Napoleon Hill
7
Chapter Two
Learning the hard way
I grew up in East London, the youngest of our family of five boys and a girl. We all helped to run the family business, a fish-and-chip shop. Work dominated our lives, and as I grew older I increasingly felt a lack of warmth and closeness between us. The only exception was my next brother, but sadly the connection I had with him drifted away as we got into our early twenties. I feel this was due to the lack of love and affection we had from our parents. I do not feel any anger or any resentment now or even blame my parents in any way, but in the past it affected me emotionally. I feel from the stories they told me about their own younger days that they were never shown love themselves. If so, how would they know how to show love to their children and teach their children to show love to one another? Life was very hard when I was growing up. My parents were very strict, and there was lots of shouting, arguing and blaming each other. We missed out on being children because we had to work in the family business from as young as seven or eight years old. I know we were all repressing our emotions, which has caused us many problems in our adult lives. Sadly most adults will probably not admit this and continue to deny their deep-rooted emotions. Our routine was going to school in the morning, then coming home at four or five o’clock to be put to work doing what ever we had to do. We would work until eleven in the evening, sometimes
James Koumis
How to live the life you deserve “After all the upsets, struggles, and negative experiences I have had, including at one point nearly ending it all, I have felt a deep desire to move on to a more positive and healthy life. Having done so, I now wish to share this wonderful transformation of mine with others and above all to inspire you. I mean this from my heart and soul. To know that I can help just one person from this book will make this journey of mine all worthwhile. So prepare yourself, if you are ready to change your life for a brighter future - as I promise you will be after reading this book. Once you have applied all the information in it and have become more aware of your own existence to take this first step in faith, you will be on the way to becoming the person you really desire to be.� James Koumis visit my website at www.jkscreations.com
ISBN 978-1-909020-01-6 Published by Memoirs 25 Market Place, Cirencester Gloucestershire GL7 2NX. Tel: 01285 640485
9 781909 020016
Email: info@memoirsbooks.co.uk www.memoirspublishing.com