Talk of the Town Holiday 2016 by Bergen County the Magazine

Holiday 2016

SUMMER 2016

RYE OH RYE Refreshing cocktails for the summer heat

PLUS

THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO EATING & DRINKING

THE 2016 NEW RESTAURANT ROUND UP

The Father’s Day Gift Re-do Guide It’s time to return the BBQ Kit

TWO NAMES Lexus of Englewood 53-59 Engle Street Englewood Sales (800) 790-3988 Service (888) 305-1377 Parts (201) 569-6840

G R E AT TOGETHER Toyota of Hackensack 278 River Street Hackensack Sales (855) 233-1501 Service (855)233-1502 Parts (855)233-1503

INTRODUCTION HOLIDAY 2016 PUBLISHERS SHARON & STEVEN GOLDSTEIN

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER BRANDON GOLDSTEIN

EXECUTIVE EDITOR ROBERT GOLD

DESIGN DIRECTOR CASSIE MICHELOTTI

MARKETING & SALES LINDA BARBA AMY SCHWARTZ

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS JACQUELINE HOPE DAVID KRISO SCOTT MAHONEY CHRISTINE MODICA MIKE MORSE RICHARD POSLUZSNY CASEY RAINE

FIND US AT WWW.TALKOFTHETOWNMAG.COM Talk of the Town is published four times a year, by BC the Magazine. Mail all editorial and advertising materials to: 297-101 Kinderkamack Road, Suite 135, Oradell, NJ 07649. Or email materials to: steven@bcthemag.com. For advertising and information, please call 201-694-5197 or 201-694-5196. For subscription information or to contact us, go to www.bcthemag.com. Copyright 2016. All materials are the property of Bergen County The Magazine, LLC. and may not be copied or reproduced without written consent from the publishers.

HOLIDAY 2016

You never actually own a Patek Philippe. Gentleman, The holidays are upon us, and more importantly, a tumultuous 2016 is celebrating its finale We always take December as a time to reflect on the year that has passed, but for everyone’s sake, I think we just wipe the slate clean and do our best to forget about the weirdness that will always be remembered in history as the year 2016. So, with that, we go back to what we do best: help guide you through your days, be it where to eat, how to dress, or who to slice off a piece of that bonus check to and donate to. Of course, they’re just our suggestions, but they are strong suggestions. As with every holiday issue, we could not go without giving you a charity guide. These organizations work tirelessly to care for us when no one else will, or when what we can provide just isn’t enough. Giving back is a key element of what differentiates a gentleman from the ordinary man. You sir, are no ordinary man. Speaking of extraordinary men, we can’t help but tell you about Blaze Damiani, the third generation owner of Steve’s Sizzling Steaks on Route 17. If being one of Bergen’s longest surviving restaurants wasn’t a good enough story for you, then the life of Blaze certainly is. If you haven’t checked out the Time Hotel in Nyack just yet, we aren’t sure what you’er waiting for. It’s industrious beauty made for the perfect backdrop for us to show off some of the best looks for this year’s many holiday parties and get-togethers. Canali suits are the new Christmas sweaters. If there was one positive about 2016, it would certainly be that men have more strongly embraced caring about their bodies than probably ever before. I’m not just speaking of health issues – by the way, check out our article on your man parts – but also our physical appearance, whether it’s heading to the gym more frequently or the barbershop more often. Speaking of barbers, you have to check out the new Alt & Co. in Ridgewood or talk to our esteemed barber, Christine Modica at Stag House in Glen Rock. These are people who know trends, and more importantly care about each client’s health and welfare. You just don’t get that at the bargain haircut stop. With another year under our belts, I thank you all for being so supportive of my family, our business, and me. There’s a lot of darkness in the world these days, but the people we see day to day remind us that things will always be alright.

You merely take care of it for the next generation.

Begin your own tradition.

Happy Holidays Gentleman, Brandon Goldstein

Ladies’ Annual Calendar Ref. 4947R

CONTENTS 8

The Alfa Romeo 4C Spider A small but fierce menace on the road

Let You Let Me Love You Taking care of yourself is the new “manly”

The Three Point Shot Mercedes is making cars for everyone, and doing it well

Alt & Co. This new barber + shop is the place to go

Rise Up What to expect from your man parts as you age

Downsizing Your House: A New Social Movement? Smaller home, smaller bills.

The 2016 Holiday Gift Guide The best gifts in life are free. Just kidding!

The Style Guide Look better than the rest at all the holiday parties

Anthem of the Seas This monster cruise ship is changing how we travel… for the better

What to Watch For Nomos Glashutte is making waves in the U.S.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Eating and Drinking Four new hot spots worth a visit

Baby it’s Cold Outside This outerwear will do more than just warm you up

The Talk of the Town Charity Guide The season of giving for those who can

The Cold Close A final chuckle to get you by

It’s Blaze’s World The third generation owner of Steve’s Sizzling Steaks brings it all to the table

IT’S BLAZE’S 8

WORLD HOLIDAY 2016

The third generation owner of Steve’s Sizzling Steaks in Carlstadt brings more than just great food to the table By Brandon Goldstein

It’s 1936. Your Ford sputters down Route 2, a dirt road that ended before the swamps of the Meadowlands began. You’re hungry and have a hankering for a good steak and why not check out the new place on the block? You knew the place. It used to be Connie’s Place, but Connie grew tired of the business. She wanted out, and a couple took it over. Heck, it’s worth a try. There’s nowhere else to eat on Route 2 anyway! Fast forward to today, and that same building still stands,

only the surroundings are much different. The dirt road is now bustling Route 17, one of the main thoroughfares cutting unapologetically through Bergen County, stretching straight through those once daunting swamps, fueled by the housing boom that made the county the densely populated community it is today. Restaurants, shops, and megastores dot the highway, stretching as far as you can see in both directions. Yet two things remain the same: One, Blaze HOLIDAY 2016

Damiani is running the place, keeping it in the family for three generations. Secondly, the steak is really damn good. When Steve Venturini and his wife Mary heard that Connie’s Place was coming up for rent back in 1935, they seized the opportunity. It was a carpentry accident in 1926 that had taken Steve out of the building business searching for a new opportunity. The couple took the place over on New Year’s Day, 1936. Connie threw her last New Year’s Eve party the night before, and Steve, Mary, and their children cleaned up the mess so that they could officially open. Three years later, as word spread around Carlstadt that this little highway stop was dishing out some of the best steaks in the area, Mary and Steve officially bought the building from Connie for a whopping $732.14. As the couple began building their business, they realized they needed a niche. They decided to create a “sportsman club” to make their restaurant standout. An avid fisherman himself, Steve is rumored to have fished with the likes of Ernest Hemingway and one George Herman “Babe” Ruth. One morning as Steve walked into the restaurant, he noticed Mary had hung his rifles and fishing rods from the ceiling of the restaurant, giving the place the sportsman vibe Mary sought, much to the chagrin of Steve. Nowadays, the old rifles and fishing rods still remain, accompanied by stuffed game, a marlin, pictures with signatures of athletes and celebrities who have stopped in at Steve’s, amongst many more relics only a business thriving for more than 80 years could have. Steve Venturini was a larger-than-life figure. Customers would come in as much for the food and drink as to see Steve who survived not one, but two airplane crashes. On February 5, 1952, Steve was on a National Airlines flight that had just taken off from Newark Airport headed for Miami where he was going to spend the week fishing. The plane crashed in Elizabeth killing 30. Although injured, Steve survived. He carried his friend, Charles Griffin, to safety and returned into the tangled remains of the airliner to help others. It was an explosion and severe head injury that stopped him. Ironically, a few years later, Steve was in a prop plane headed to Cuba where he was to go fishing with Hemingway, and that plane went down, but Steve survived yet again. His legend only grew, and it wasn’t a surprise to see Yankee Manager Billy Martin frequenting the joint, grabbing a steak with Steve. When Steve would go on his fishing and hunting expeditions, it was his daughter Marie who would take over for him. As a child hanging in the restaurant, she had watched her father concoct cocktails. When she turned 21, she filled in as a bartender for the first time. A true pioneer, she was one of the first female bartenders in all of the county. When a girlfriend introduced Marie to a local drummer by the name of Joe Damiani, the two hit it off. When she was 27, they married. He soon joined the family business, and in 1987 Joe Damiani was inducted into the “Bartender Hall of Fame” 10

HOLIDAY 2016

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by Bartender Magazine. This all leads up to what this story is truly about: Blaze Damiani. “One of my earliest childhood memories is my grandmother in the kitchen at Steve’s, my father behind the bar, my mom waitressing, and my grandfather running the whole show,” says Blaze, now the patriarch of the Steve’s Sizzling Steaks family. We are chatting at his beach house in Mantoloking this past summer. His belief in hospitality translates well from within the walls of Steve’s to his bayside home, as I’m met with a cold beer, a ride on Blaze’s boat, and unsurprisingly, delicious (and perfectly cooked) steak. Blaze is everything you’d expect every restaurant owner to be. Outgoing, warm, able to juggle several tasks at once, and always smiling for his guests. Despite our interview, he still has a house full of people, but in a way only a host who has perfected his craft can, he makes us all seem like we are the most important people there. His in-laws, friends, kids, wife and me. We are all here, all demanding a bit of Blaze’s attention, but he handles the calamity with an innate calmness, making it clear that hospitality is truly in his blood. Sitting with Blaze, you can tell he’s always thinking about Steve’s. With a family business, there’s always that fork in the road where the newest generation can either improve upon the work of those before them, or sit stagnant and see where it takes you. Blaze isn’t one to sit for very long. Looking at him, you can tell he’s always calculating. How can he add to the customer experience, keeping the tradition of a great, inexpensive steak alive in a time when meat is expensive? Within those calculations though, the answer is never about cutting quality to increase profits. Blaze is the best combination of a kindhearted businessman there is. He knows there’s a middle ground to making his customers happy and still providing for his family - a trait lost on our money hungry, do-whatever-it-takes business world these days. Sitting with Blaze is refreshing, because at no

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point in time does it ever feel like he would screw anyone for his own good. That might come from his days as a kid. Having attended the same Carlstadt school as his parents and grandparents before him, Blaze would see kids with their lemonade stands, and thought it wise to offer more than just a little lemonade. Blaze and his friends would build a mock-carnival, putting those stands to shame, offering prizes and a wheel of chance, bringing the community to him and never disappointing. Steve’s Sizzling Steaks is Blaze’s childhood carnival. Some of Blaze’s earliest memories took place within the hallowed walls of Steve’s. He still remembers being just five years old, sleeping on a pillow atop a beer box in the back room, catching a nap while his parents worked. He remembers when the Meadowlands Sports Complex was built in the Seventies, as the highway to nowhere became the highway to Giants Stadium and now, MetLife. Try to get a table on game day. Just try it. While in college at Bergen Community and then Fairleigh Dickinson, Blaze was still managing Steve’s and having plenty of fun. His knack for entertaining has become legend among those who know him well, and many more have probably passed through a Blaze Damiani party once or twice in their life without even realizing. It’s Blaze who usually remembers them, though. “I know my customers lifestyle. I know what they do, I know their kids. We talk. Sometimes I don’t have the time to talk. But in this business, you always have to. That’s what sets restaurants like ours apart from the rest. With these corporate places opening everywhere, there’s no personality, no sense of loyalty. We don’t operate like that,” Blaze says. As important as customers are to Blaze, the staff at Steve’s is considered family. “I’ve had people working with me for decades. Take Anke, for instance. A waitress at Steve’s for 28 years, her brother George is a cook in the kitchen. Her mom was a meat cutter and her three children have all worked at Steve’s, and that’s just one example of many. “ Blaze has worked about every job there is within the restaurant. While you’ll rarely find him in the kitchen these days, his bright presence is always felt throughout the restaurant. When it comes to the menu, Blaze has a “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality. Of course, that menu has 80 years of proven success behind it. It has expanded throughout the years, but never too drastically, adding something here or there, adding trendy items as they emerge. “My wife and I were in South Beach a few years ago, and while she was shopping I grabbed a glass of wine and see this Tomahawk Ribeye on the menu. I was curious and had to try it. It was delicious. When I got home, I spoke to my meat guy, Lou, and he goes, ‘I have em, but they’re expensive.’ Six years ago, this South Beach restaurant charged $42 for it. When I returned, they were $58. I sell mine for $40. It is important to me to give my customers the opportunity to have this great steak without 12

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Ippolito family, Bergen County, NJ

Four generations. One hospital. The Ippolitos have had their share of health scares. Cancer. Stroke. Heart disease. And more broken bones than you can count. But they’ve also had many reasons to celebrate. Cancer remission. Stroke recovery. A mended heart. And always another baby on the way. We’ve been there for them through it all. Giving hope. Showing compassion. And ensuring families can celebrate together in the best of health. One more reason to make Englewood Hospital and Medical Center your hospital for life.

englewoodhealth.org

Continued from page 12

paying a crazy price for it.” That’s the man Blaze is. It’s what makes him a great father to his children, Ava and Will, and an amazing husband to his wife, Jen. He cares about everyone, to the point where his genuine sincerity is almost too sincere to believe. But it’s authentic. Blaze is grilling us filet tips as the sun begins to set over Mantoloking Bay. By now, we are a few beers deep and have conversed for hours, intermittently disrupted by kids running around, neighbors stopping by on their boats to say hello, his in-laws with some great off the record anecdotes about Blaze of their own. Whether within the walls of Steve’s or 70 miles south at his vacation home, Blaze runs the show, and takes it upon himself to make sure everyone has a great time. For most guys, they have that one thing that is their pride and joy. Whether it be a boat, their business, fishing, etc. For Blaze, it’s every aspect of his life. His wife, his kids, the restaurant, his lifelong friendships and the many happy customers he and his family have served throughout the years, they all just add up to this beautiful life Blaze and his family have built, and it’s clear Blaze couldn’t be more grateful. Blaze’s positive energy is contagious. When once upon a time Blaze’s neighbor came up with the moniker “Blaze World,” it instantly stuck. Blaze is not the center of attention but the curator of the party, and with generations of hospitality in his blood, he was destined for the part. After all, it’s Blaze’s delicious, beautiful world, and we’re all just living in it. 14

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SMALL BUT FIERCE:

THE ALFA ROMEO 4C SPIDER By Richard Posluzny

HOLIDAY 2016

When you go car shopping today, usually you walk into a dealer showroom and their vehicles are equipped with the latest whiz-bang technology. There’s lane keep assist, cruise control that brakes and steers for you, automatic everything and even perfume that spritzes itself into the cabin to make sure the scent is just right. Although this sounds amazing, in theory, there are two problems with all of this technology: 1) It will break, and 2) it really makes driving boring. Now, if you pick a simple car then there’s no need to worry.

While it’s difficult to find a simple car produced for the masses, if you look in niche markets you may strike gold. Take, for example, sports cars where the pricing strategy goes something like “less is more.” This neatly brings us to our subject, the Alfa Romeo 4C. In modern vehicles, it doesn’t get much more Spartan than this. That’s because when the 4C arrived it became clear to me that it was the antithesis of the modern day automobile. It lacks much of the accouterments one has come to expect. For example, there is no power steering, no navigation or infotainment display, no automatic climate control and no

HOLIDAY 2016

power seats. On the outside you will note that the 4C is a tiny little bugger. Standing only 47 inches tall, I got more comfortable in the itty-bitty coupe, much to my surprise. As I am 6’8 it’s absolutely astounding that I can squeeze in and out. Admittedly so it is not the most graceful entrance and exit, but it’s a small price to pay. Aside from the Alfa being a teeny thing, there’s no question it is of Italian heritage because its design is staggering. Though they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I found it difficult to find anyone put off by the Alfa’s sensual, blood red shape. It looks as though a Ferrari and a Lotus have mated. My particular test car was fitted with a “funny hat,” as it was the 4C Spider. And, as you would expect by now, it was a manual top. Installing and removing the cloth top was as simple as loosening two fasteners located near the in-cabin, rearview mirror and pinching releases on each side of the car. Of the five times I removed the top it went back on easily. Well, sort of. The last time was a bit tiring as it took 10 minutes. Oh well, four out of five isn’t bad. Getting more comfortable inside the cockpit, you’re confronted with a two-spoke, flat-bottom steering wheel. As this vehicle is only offered with a dual-clutch transmission, there is no shifter to be found. The seats were largely Alcantara, which is good as it keeps you in place during serious cornering, but I found comfort to be lacking — this is no surprise as this tends to be a constant in any lightweight seat. One pet peeve that stood out was the TFT instrument panel. While the panel was highly informative and easy to read, the steering wheel did block out the revs, which is important in any vehicle where the driver is controlling the shifts. I tried adjusting the steering wheel but then it blocked out my speed readout, so, there was no winning here. Yet another Italian quirk. Overall, it seems as though this Alfa is after my heart. That’s because I love basic vehicles. Your attention

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isn’t on the loads of gadgets but rather purely focused on the driving experience. If you’re the type that goes to a concert and records it via your cell phone, this probably isn’t the car for you. Equipped with a turbocharged 1.7-liter four-cylinder motor, it doesn’t sound like that would be especially potent. You must consider though that it produces 237 horsepower and 258 lb.-ft. of torque, which is substantial given that the 4C weighs in at less than 2,500 pounds. You can thank its carbon fiber construction and back-to-basics interior for that. Because the engine is coupled with a six-speed dual-clutch transmission, zero to 60 happens in 4.1 seconds, which is quite fast by any measure. Here’s the thing though, the power carries on well past posted limits. As with any sports car today, the Alfa features adjustable driving modes. And because I want the full banana always, I decided that the “D” for Dynamic was the most appropriate during most of my time driving the small but fierce Italian. “D” mode puts the vehicle into a more lively setting. That means its suspension is at its stiffest, the exhaust is quite loud and the throttle is sharper. After experiencing the Alfa in its most raw form, I have to say that it is one of the most excellent motoring experiences today. That’s because the sound, the steering, the balance and traction are completely off the charts. Though I am more than willing to admit my downright hatred for any four-cylinder motor, it is different in the Alfa. That’s because Italians made sure to tune the exhaust note so it doesn’t sound like every other four banger on the street. The 4C is deeper, harsher and far more emotional than any other four on the market. How the wizards in Italy did it is beyond me. It just sounds lovely whether you’re tooling around Manhattan or hitting the redline on the New Jersey Turnpike. Two thumbs up here. When I first heard about the 4C being a back-to-basics car, I was curious just how far the company would go. Though it may have power windows do not let

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that deceive you: It lacks power steering. While that may make parallel parking a bit of a workout, I will say that it is completely worth it. The steering feel is unlike any other modern car I’ve piloted. That’s because it’s communicative as the Alfa sniffs out the tarmac. You feel everything and in a day and age where every vehicle’s steering setup is numb, the Alfa is gold. Because Alfa placed the motor in the right place — in the middle — the 4C provides some of the best balance of any sports car I’ve driven. Like other mid-engine exotica, this puts the heaviest component in the middle of the vehicle for better weight distribution. And, boy, it pays off. Much like the Porsche Cayman it feels like you can keep dialing in the power in turns because the vehicle remains planted throughout the apex. There’s no wiggle, there’s no twitching in the steering and there’s no worry. Just oodles of power and a “burp” on the upshift when you exit the turn. This little red thing is a total monster and this is largely due to the amount of grip it has. Though I am sure someone will say the 4C could use more power — someone always wants more — it is just the right amount. That’s because it is completely managed by the chassis. No matter how hard you push it the rubber sticks and as a driver you have total confidence in what you’re doing behind the wheel. Ultimately, this translates into an incredibly rewarding experience, which is what you look for in a toy. But, don’t get it twisted. It is best advised not to buy one of these to commute into Manhattan. After spending up to an hour and a half in the 4C I was starting to get quite uncomfortable. The reality is that the thin seats and suspension are pretty much exactly what you do not want to deal with in New York’s hustle and bustle. So, keep it to the suburbs and winding roads. Think of it as a discount Ferrari except it has way more communicative steering and is a relative bargain with a base price of $65,900. If I were normal-sized, this would be a vehicle I’d consider seeking out.

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LET YOU LET ME LOVE YOU

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TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IS THE NEW ‘MANLY’ BY CHRISTINE MODICA Happy Autumn, Gentlemen! I hope your summer was filled with starry nights and very few regrettable decisions. As the party season fades and the holiday season commences, I want to share with you a few ways to decompress before the rush of gift buying and preparation scoops you up into the whirlwind it tends to become. My Momma always said to do at least one good thing for yourself per week. Now, if this seems excessive, perhaps you need more cheat days. Simple pleasures come in all shapes and sizes. Some expensive, some fattening, some illegal and some include Poke’-Stops, but as far as some small beneficial joys go, you know, the ones that won’t get you arrested, I have a few suggestions that could very well keep the blues at bay. Life offers some cool shit. Oftentimes, we get caught up in it and forget to sugar the rim of our margaritas, for lack of a better comparison. Contrary to where this article seems to be leading, and before you feel as though I’m getting psychoanalytical (as I have a habit of telling you guys what to do), I am here to offer you a few ideas for welcoming a bit of sparkle in the otherwise dull work week. The grooming part is coming, I just want to remind you to stop and smell the roadside barbeque. Or roses. Whatever tickles your fancy.

Now, I always suggest shaves. Face shaves are a great way to decompress and relax. Utilize your barber, men! I promise the lot of us can do more than just cut the hair on top of your head. Despite what many will tell you as we approach the colder months, hack off your facial garden! Go against the grain – even if you still want to wear flannel. Shaves are such a cool service. Nostalgia, decompression, and pure care all rolled into one sweet little package. A lot of high-end spots offer this as a let loose and let go experience, and guess what: It doesn’t stop there. Men’s add-on services have increased drastically in the last few years. Back in the day, dudes would head on over to their local barber on a Sunday to get a shave and secretly gossip. It was the watering hole for blue-collar Americans to congregate and get ready for the week. Times have changed, and the freedom to do those types of awesome things are a fading commodity, so be sure to take it where you can get it. At my shop, we also offer manlycures and facials for guys. Yes, guys can get facials - facials you actually want to get. Not some Pinterest scrub and micro-peel you may have been subjected to by a lady friend. We apply aromatherapy, some hot towels, neck and jaw massage, and a full cleansing experience right in the comfort of the barber chair. And, no, we won’t be poking at you with some extracting sharp tools, unless you really want us to. We don’t want our guys reverting

back to their caveman predecessors. Those days are long over. We’re living in a glorious time where classic haircuts are back, mullets are dead and gone, style is the epitome of classy, and men have a clear and vivid sense of self-awareness stemming from the “metro” craze at the dawn of the early 2000’s. Its so refreshing in fact, I’m almost willing to ignore the fact that clip on man-buns are actually a thing. We have many men that will enjoy a good face shave with our homemade shave soaps while getting the manliest manly-cure on this side of Kansas. Throw in a scalp treatment massage just for the hell of it. Do you feel better now that other guys are taking advantage of these services, too? Ask yourself: When was the last time you had an experience doing something you’re essentially forced to do, and actually felt really good about it? I’m talking about a rebirth, a better version of the man you were yesterday. When the BBQ’s end, wedding season comes to a relieving close, and you begin scoping out local bars to discover which ones are carrying the newest, Autumn-est beer bottles, consider breaking up the potential monotony of what chillier weather may bring. Guys night at the barbershop. Turn November into Brovember, and try something new, for no other reason than, other than tax increases, it’s a wonderful time to be alive. Christine Modica is a master barber and co-owner of Stag House Barbershop and Doe.tique Salon at 228 Rock Road, Glen Rock.

THE 3 POINT SHOT

Busch’s growth has come at a time when every car manufacturer is now attempting to break into the luxury car market. The braintrust at Mercedes however, already had the answers to the problem. Only ten years ago, you could’ve pretty much counted every car line Mercedes manufactured with 7 or 8 fingers. Now, you’d need a lot more hands, as Mercedes has created a vehicle fit for virtually every consumer, yet have never sacrificed their commitment to quality and craftsmanship that makes a Mercedes a Mercedes. I was fortunate to attend the grand revealing

party years ago of the new CLA Class at Benzel. I was a skeptic at the time – why is this marque of luxury trying to make a car that is affordable? Doesn’t it cheapen the brand? The answer, as I now know, and is evident by the many CLA’s on the road today, is no. Instead, Mercedes was able to capture a younger audience drooling for luxury and coolness – and Mercedes brass and their design team hit the nail right on the head. Now, Mercedes continues evolving and innovating with the times, from their flagship sedan all the way down to their base crossover, and the results

“it’s one of the most intelligent cars on the road today”

MERCEDES BENZ’S GAMBLES CONTINUE TO PAY OFF 26

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are awe-inspiring. Take the new E-class for example. Billed “The most advanced E Class ever,” the 2017 model is way more than that – it’s one of the most intelligent cars on the road today, inviting super luxe technology into an every day car built for the everyday driver. The new E300 Sedan is essentially the gateway from our normal driving days to the fully autonomous driving that is inevitably coming – whether we want it to or not. Though you still do, for the most part, control the driving in the new E Class, it does simplify basically every aspect of it for you, using technologies out of science fiction movies. Take for instance, the Car-to-X Communication platform Mercedes

has rolled out, which connects your car to a centralized information center, giving you up to date road conditions based and warnings way before you’re even approaching them. If that’s not high tech enough for you, the new E Class also sports Drive Pilot, a new tech platform that allows for the most intelligent cruise control yet. Not only will it stop and go with the flow of traffic and keep you in your lane, but a small lever on the side of the steering wheel will also allow you to safely change lanes with the touch of a lever. If those aren’t enough for you, the team at Mercedes created PreSafe Sound, which upon sensing an impending collision, emits safe “pink noise” via the audio system to pre-trigger

Walk into BenzelBusch Motorcar Company in Englewood on any given day, and you’ve instantly entered the finely tuned machine that is one of New Jersey’s top Mercedes Benz dealerships. Seemingly taking up an entire city block, Mercedes, and more specifically, Benzel-

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your ears natural defense against the loud noises of an accident. Apart from the newest features, the new E Class is also beautiful inside and out, with a sporty exterior and an incredibly luxuriously appointed interior complete with more screens than you’ll know what to do with. If you’re looking for a true example of flagship innovation though, look no further than Mercedes Benz’s new S500 Cabriolet. The new convertible version of Mercedes flagship auto is nothing short of impressive. Taking cues from Rolls Royce’s convertibles, the new Cabriolet is the perfect blend of sportiness and 28

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sizeable luxury, with a base 4.7 liter biturbo V8 pushing 449 horse power to make sure it’s got plenty of power still packed in. It may feel like a tank when you first sit inside, but it doesn’t move like one. The beautifully refined interior is packed with all the gadgets and gizmos, including seats that massage and adjust to keep you in them in sharp turns. The steering wheel vibrates if you’re drifting out of your lane and everything about how it drives and feels is absolutely perfect. As far as a comparison is concerned, there aren’t any cars like it. Starting at about $135,000, it competes with the likes of Rolls and Bentley but

for quite a discount. Until BMW or Audi create their version of the 7 Series convertible and A8 convertible, Mercedes may stand-alone with this benchmark vehicle for quite some time. Whether it’s the top of the top in the Mercedes line of vehicles, or you just want a cute little C Class coupe, you can be assured that there was no compromise in the manufacture of your vehicle.

When Benzel Busch gave me the opportunity to test drive a vast array of Mercedes’ offerings, it became clear that there was no compromise at any level. The cars, whether it was the C Class Coupe or the S Cabriolet, drove like a dream, and felt as safe as any vehicle I’ve ever been in. With a refined mix of innovation, luxury, and sportiness built into each of their vehicles – it’s clear the gamble to own the road is paying off.

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ERIC ALT’S COOLEST CONCEPT YET

By Brandon Goldstein Some of you may know Eric Alt. With 4 Salons bearing his name across Bergen County, it was no surprise when he opened his fifth (and he says final) shop, this time going in a bit different of a direction. Inspired by his longtime boyfriend, skater, and now barber Thomas, Eric Alt & Co. opened in Ridgewood this past Fall. Unlike his other salons, full of housewives and businesswoman alike, Alt & Co. aims to introduce Eric Alt and his team’s incredible reputation for hair styling to a younger, more hip audience. Enter Alt & Co. and you’ll quickly forget that you came for a fresh haircut. The entry way to the store serves as a men’s 30

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boutique and skate shop, curated by Eric and Thomas, that has everything from amazingly designed skateboards to an array of candles, fun and funky socks, bags, accessories and a full lineup of Baxter of California products – one of the only retailers carrying this California brands high-end products in Bergen County. Then there are the actual services. Master barbers like Raj, who has clients willing to travel from as far as Boston just to sit in his seat, helms the house and is one of the nicest guys I’ve come across. He genuinely cared about my hair – probably more so than I did. Then there are the master colorists, doing things with hair we’ve never thought possible. Whether you want the latest trendy cut or just want to shop for some great gear, Alt & Co. in Ridgewood is worth checking out.

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RISE UP WHAT TO EXPECT OF YOUR MAN PA R T S A S YOU AGE By Andrew Siegel, MD

HOLIDAY 2016

It is shocking how ill prepared we are for aging. We are largely uninformed about the process, so the best we can do is sit back and observe the changes as they unfold. Aging can be unkind and Father Time does not spare sexual function. Although erectile dysfunction (ED) is not inevitable, with each passing decade there is an increasing prevalence of it. Present in some form in 40% of men by age 40, for each decade thereafter an additional 10% join the ED club. All aspects of sexuality decline, although sexual interest and drive suffer the least depreciation, leading to a swarm of men who are eager, but frequently unable--a most frustrating combination. With aging often comes less sexual activity, and with less sexual activity often comes “disuse atrophy,” in which the penis becomes de-conditioned, smaller in stature and, in a vicious cycle, even less functional. The senior years bear witness to the testicles dangling loosely like pendulous breasts of elderly women. Time and gravity are cruel conspirators. A key point is that ED can oftentimes be a “canary in the trousers”—an indicator that a deeper and more pervasive underlying medical problem exists. Erection quality can serve as a barometer of cardiovascular health, with the presence of rigid and durable erections a gauge of overall good cardiovascular health and the presence of ED a clue to poor cardiovascular health. Since the penile arteries are generally small (diameter of 1-2 millimeters) and the coronary arteries larger (4 millimeters), it stands to reason that if vascular disease is affecting the tiny penile arteries, it may affect the larger coronary arteries as well—if not now, then at some time in the future. For this reason, men with ED should undergo a basic medical evaluation seeking arterial disease elsewhere in the body.

Chronological Guide On What To Expect I have arbitrarily structured this by decade with the caveat that these are general trends. Individuals may vary significantly from others in their age group, as chronological age per se is not the ultimate factor and seems to be less important than genetics and lifestyle. I was able to craft this guide after more than 25 years spent in the urology trenches, working the front line with thousands of patient interactions. Age 18-30: Your sexual appetite is prodigious and sex often occupies the front burners of your mind. It requires very little stimulation to achieve an erection—even the wind blowing the right way might be enough to stimulate a rigid, gravity-defying erection, pointing proudly at the heavens. The sight of an attractive woman, the smell of her perfume, merely the thought of her can arouse you fully. You get erections even when you don’t want them…if there was only a way to bank these for later in life! You wake up in the middle of the night sporting a rigid erection. When you climax, the orgasm is intense, forceful and powerful. When you arise from sleep, it is not just you that has arisen, but also your penis. It doesn’t get better than this…you are an invincible king… a professional athlete at the peak of his career! All right, maybe not invincible…you do have an Achilles heel—you may sometimes ejaculate prematurely because you are so hyper-excitable and sometimes in a new sexual situation you have performance anxiety, a mechanical failure brought on by your all-powerful mind dooming the capabilities of your perfectly normal plumbing. Age 30-40: Changes occur ever so slowly, perhaps so gradually that they are barely noticeable. Your sex drive remains vigorous, but not as obsessive and all consuming as it once was. You can still get quality erections, but they may not occur as spontaneously, as frequently and with such little provocation as they did previously. You may require some touch stimulation to develop full rigidity. You still wake up in the middle of the night with an erection and experience “morning wood.” Ejaculations and orgasms are hardy, but you may notice some subtle differences, with your “rifle” being a little less powerful and of smaller caliber. The time it takes to achieve another erection after ejaculating increases. You are that athlete in the twilight of his career, seasoned and experienced, with the premature ejaculation of yonder years occuring much less frequently. Age 40-50: After age 40, changes become more obvious. You are still interested in sex, but not nearly with the passion you had two decades earlier. You can usually get a pretty good-quality erection, but it now often requires tactile stimulation and the rock-star rigidity of years gone by gives way to a nicely firm penis, still suitable for penetration. The gravity-defying erections don’t have quite the upward angle they used to. At times you may lose the erection before the sexual act is completed. You notice that orgasms have lost some of their kick and ejaculation has become feebler than previously. Getting a second erection after climax is not only more difficult, but also may be something that you no longer have much interest in. All in all though, you still have some game left. Age 50-60: Sex is still important to you and your desire is still there, but is typically diminished. Your erection can still be respectable and functional, but is not the majestic sight that it once was, and touch is necessary for full arousal. Night-

time and morning erections become few and far between. The frequency of intercourse declines while the frequency of prematurely losing the erection before the sexual act is complete increases. A dribbling-quality ejaculation occurs with diminished volume and force, begging the question of why you are “drying up.” Orgasms are less intense and at times it feels like nothing much happened—more “firecracker” than “fireworks.” Getting a second erection is difficult, and you find much more delight in going to sleep rather than pursuing a sexual encore. Sex is no longer a sport, but a recreational activity…sometimes just reserved for the weekends. Age 60-70: “Sexagenarian” is a misleading word…more apt a term for the 18-30 year-old group, because your sex life doesn’t compare to theirs—they are the athletes and you the spectators. Your testosterone level has plummeted over the decades, probably accounting for your diminished desire. Erections are still obtainable with some coaxing, but they are not five star erections, more like three stars, suitable for penetration, but not the rigid flagpole of yonder years. They are less reliable, and at times your penis suffers with attention deficit disorder, unable to focus and losing its mojo prematurely, unable to complete the task at hand. Spontaneous erections, nighttime, and early morning erections become rare occurrences. Climax is not so climactic and explosive ejaculations are a matter of history. At times, you think you climaxed, but are unsure because the sensation was frankly un-sensational. Ejaculation is down to a mere dribble. Seconds?…no thank you…that is reserved for helpings on the dinner table! Sex is no longer a recreational activity, but an occasional amusement. Age 70-80: When asked about his sexual function, my 70-somethingyear-old patient replied: “Retired…and I’m really upset that I’m not even upset.” You may still have some lingering sexual desire left in you, but it’s a far cry from the fire in your groin that you had when you were young. With physical coaxing and coercion, your penis can at times be prodded to rise to the occasion, like a cobra responding to the beck and call of the flute of the snake

charmer. The quality of erections has noticeably dropped, with penile fullness without rigidity that used to make penetration such a breeze. At times, the best that you can do is to obtain a partially inflated erection that cannot penetrate, despite pushing, shoving and manipulating. Spontaneous erections have gone the way of the 8-track player. Thank goodness for discovering that even a limp penis can be stimulated to climax, so it is still possible for you to experience sexual intimacy, although the cli-“max” is more like a cli-“min.” Age 80-90: You are now a full-fledged member of a group that has an ever-increasing constituency—the ED club. Although you as an octogenarian may still be able to have sex, most of your brethren cannot; however, they remain appreciative that at least they still have their penises to use as spigots, allowing them to stand to urinate, a distinct competitive advantage over the womenfolk. Compounding the problem is that your spouse is no longer a spring chicken and because she has likely been post-menopausal for many years, she has a significantly reduced sex drive and vaginal dryness, making sex downright difficult, if not impossible. If you are able to have sex on your birthday and anniversary, you are doing much better than most. To quote one of my octogenarian patients in reference to his penis: “It’s like walking around with a dead fish.” Age 90-100: To quote the comedian George Burns: “Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” You are grateful to be alive and in the grand scheme of things, sex is low on the list of priorities. You can live vicariously through pleasant memories of your days of glory that are lodged deep in the recesses of your mind, as long as your memory holds out! When and if you do get an erection, you never want to waste it! Dr. Andrew Siegel is dual board-certified in urology and female pelvic medicine/reconstructive surgery. He is an attending urologist at HackensackUMC and the author of Male Pelvic Fitness: Optimizing Sexual & Urinary Health, and can be found at AndrewSiegelMD.com

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A NEW SOCIAL MOVEMENT? By Scott Mahoney 34

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In what appears to be a new social movement reflecting financial and environmental concerns as well as a growing desire for more freedom, there is increased interest in “tiny” homes. A new television show, “Tiny House Hunters,” even tracks the trend: buying extra-small houses of just 500 square feet or less – everything from train cars to tree houses to micro homes on wheels. People are even considering yurts: circular tents of felt or animal skins built on a collapsible framework, originally used by nomads in Mongolia, Siberia, and Turkey. Practical and eco-friendly, the modern yurt is constructed with air-craft quality tension cables, architectural fabrics, reflective insulation developed by NASA, and welded seams. And it’s tiny. The movement goes hand-in-hand with another trend in our society dubbed the “slow” movement. Today, life is expected to move at warp speed: communication and information must be instantaneous, travel and entertainment immediate. Our increasingly fast lifestyles and consumer culture are prompting people to seek alternatives in work, buying, owning and child-rearing. Overwhelmed by the incredible pace, folks are deciding to take things slower. For many Americans, a good chunk of their income – some say between one-half and one-third– is dedicated to the roof over their heads, a cost of living leading 76% of Americans to live paycheck to paycheck. In New York, luxury real estate already is reflecting the trend to downsize. Crain’s New York reports that some developers are carving up exorbitantly-priced penthouses to sell the smaller spaces at lower, more appealing prices. One SoHo apartment with 8,400 square feet, priced at $45 million, became a 3,000-square-foot apartment priced at $11 million and a second duplex above it with 5,400 square feet, priced at $29.5 million. Even with those changes, developers were concerned that the buying pool would be insufficient because, as they explained, the days of the high price tags for extra-large and lavish residences were dwindling. While a six-bedroom SoHo penthouse with a private elevator, art gallery, sky-lit mosaic-tile pool and private roof deck with 360-degree views might not be necessary for everyone, by the same token, not everyone wants to live in a trailer or a yurt. Even if the tiny home trend isn’t for you, you don’t have to live paycheck to paycheck to afford homeownership. With a carefully-crafted strategy for saving and investing, along with a wise approach to spending, home owners should be able to keep a comfortable home without becoming “house poor.”

First-time buyers, for instance, should be patient. They shouldn’t rush into a purchase with the goal of acquiring a home to show off. Better to bide their time and save. A good lesson, especially for millennials, is that not everything in life needs to be immediate. For existing home owners whose children are nearing completion of college, perhaps now is the time to consider scaling back in square footage. Are all those extra bedrooms necessary? How about that huge backyard, with no kids to toss a ball in it? Consider what’s inside the home. Are there stacks of old record albums collecting dust, baseball card collections that the kids discarded years ago, excess furniture cluttering up the basement? Many home owners overlook the fact that a relatively easy source of cash could take the form of unused and unneeded odds and ends that, when listed on popular online sales sites or put in the driveway for a tag sale, could bring significant rewards. And, when it comes to making purchases, consider whether or not a slightly older model or gently-used secondhand item might suffice in place of a high-priced brand new one. Cars are a great example, especially since the value of a new car plummets the moment it leaves the lot. A rule of thumb most financial and insurance experts agree upon is that you should not spend more than 28% of your income on a mortgage, and your debt should not exceed 8% of your income. If you are spending more than that you should take immediate steps to rectify the situation, as you will not be able to sustain it indefinitely. Diversify assets, meaning that any given portfolio should contain a cash reserve and other investments in addition to the home. This risk-management approach seeks to provide security against the volatility in one sector of the market. Unless you’d rather live in a yurt. Scott F. Mahoney is a Financial Advisor with the Global Wealth Management Division of Morgan Stanley in Morristown, N.J. He can be reached at 866-932-3032. HOLIDAY 2016

GIFT GUIDE HUCKBERRY WHISKEY PEAKS ROCKS GLASSES

Whether you’ve climbed some of the world’s tallest peaks or not, there’s no reason not to celebrate their beauty. What better way than with two fingers of whiskey poured into these beautifully hand blow whiskey glasses, which feature the country’s favorite peaks: Denali, Half Dome, Mt. Rainier, and Mt. Whitney. Purchase the set of four and 5% of the profits will go to Keep Tahoe Blue, a local organization dedicated to keeping Lake Tahoe beautiful. Sip your way to huckberry.com

MMX VANCOUVER MARSHMALLOW CROSSBOW For those enemies you wish to rain down puffy, delicous terror upon in the coming holiday season, look no further than this beautifully handcrafted wooden crossbow straight out of Vancouver. Safely shooting mallows up to 60 feet, this is the crème de la crème of mallow launchers. Arm yourself at mmxvancouver.com

United Water is now SUEZ

GROWLERWERKS UKEG What’s the fun in brewing your own beer if you can’t take it to others party and serve it at its freshest? That must’ve been the question GrowlerWerks was asking when they came up with the UKEG, an on the go growler/beer tap convo that pressurizes and carbonates 64 oz. of beer on the go. The double walled, vacuum insulated vessel will even keep your beer cold and fresh for weeks. Knowing you though, it won’t last that long. Drink up at growlerwerks.com

UUNI WOOD-FIRED OVEN In Jersey, we are pretty much willing to go to any limits to ensure that our pizza is delicious, and everyone knows what’s really necessary to achieve total pizza perfection: a wood-fired oven. Uuni brings the concept to your backyard, where the 900 Degree Fahrenheit oven will bring your doughy goodness to crispy perfection in just about 90 seconds. Best of all, it’s only 24 lbs., and comes with everything necessary to start making pizza’s right out of the box – except for your Nonna’s famous pizza sauce recipe. Become a pizza pro at uuni.net

PAPPY BARREL AGED MAPLE SYRUP Pappy van Winkle’s great grandchildren, who still operate Pappy & Company today, partned with Bissell Maple Farm in Ohio to get some of their pure, American maple syrup, and age it in some Pappy bourbon barrels. The result is syrupy, unadulterated deliciousness. Order yours at pappyco.com

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70 countries. 50 companies. 1 focus — you.

We’re dedicated to the 7.5 million people nationwide who rely on United Water for their drinking water, and to protecting this valuable natural resource. So while our name may be changing, our commitment to preserving our water supply today and for generations to come has not.

Thinking Ahead Learn more at MySuezWater.com

SANTA FE STONEWORKS DAMASCUS KNIFE Made right in, you guessed it, Santa Fe, this knife combines hours upon hours of hand crafted woodwork, including the kaleidoscope inlay, with the precision of 16 layers of Japanese stainless steel. Needless to say, it’ll look great with your flannel shirts. Sharpen yourself at santafestoneworks.com

For those who want a high quality watch that hasn’t been rapped about in a hip-hop video, yet still carries a lot of clout amongst watch collectors, look no further than Ulysse Nardin timepieces. This Marine Chronograph, cased in 18k rose gold perfectly blends sublte elegance with incredible time functions only the Swiss are capable of crafting. Check it at The Timepiece Collection, Englewood.

SOUTHERN LIGHTS ELECTRIC BELL JAR TABLE LAMP

HUBLOT CLASSIC FUSION RACING GREY CHRONOGRAPH KING GOLD

Nothing proves you’re a modern day man like a lamp that looks like it’s from the late 1800s. Although that may be the unfortunate backward truth of 2016, we can still at least appreciate the beauty of non-modern day electronics. This charming industrial lamp comes complete with the exposed filament Edison style bulb and solid wood base, crafted in Southern Lights Electric’s Nashville workshop. Light up your life at southerlightselectric.com

A king in the watchmaking world, it’s no surprise Hublot has released a watch worthy of royalty. This 18k gold encased self winding beauty is a simple statement piece – choosing to be quiet rather than flashy – and standing out by doing so. Wind your way to The Timepiece Collection, Englewood for more information.

H.L. JAMES ALLIGATOR SKIN DOPP KITT

SPINN COFFEE MAKER

In accordance with state, federal, and international law, these genuine American alligator skins were harvested using best practices under a biologically sound sustainable program. Then, they are handcrafted using a combination of old world techniques and state of the art technology to ensure what you’re traveling with is one of the most beautiful, unique, and rare dopp kits out there. Unzip at hljames.com

We at Talk of the Town love our coffee, whether it be espresso, iced or a nice cappuccino to end a long lunch meeting. Not only will this beauty look great on any countertop, but it’s functionality and “smarts” allow it to order more coffee when you’re running low. Since typically we can’t think until we’ve had our cup of coffee, it’s good that we finally have a machine thinking for us beforehand. Brew it up at spinn.com

STADLER FORM BAMBOO OTTO FAN

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ULYSSE NARDIN MARINE CHRONOGRAPH ANNUAL CALENDAR

GARRETT WADE WOODMAN’S PAL

Winter can be a tricky time for us men. First, we bundle up to tackle winter’s elements. Then, we get to our office and the heat is cranked up so Suzie can take her shoes off in the office without her feet getting cold. That’s why we bring you the Otto fan – a beautiful answer to hot offices and…Suzie. Become a fan at stadlerform.com

From the days of knights storming castles and long before, men have always been intrigued by sharp objects for cutting stuff. This stuff might be wood, or thick brush, or people, and so on and so forth, but it’s true what they say: Some things never change. Not only is the Woodman’s Pal sexy looking (in a manly way) but the combination of axe and machete allows you to clear that thick brush or just add it to your “Sharp Stuff” collection. Take a stab at it at garrettwade.com

PILLBOX BAT CO. PINSTRIPE BAT

J.L. LAWSON COPPER SHAVING BRUSH

There’s something so old school Americana about a wooden bat. The truth is though, for most of us who aspired to be swinging for big league fences and didn’t quite make it, having a beautiful bat hanging in our office or man caves might be the only solace we get. Plus, when the daughter’s boyfriend come around it’s great to show him that you mean business – and have exquisite taste. Swing away at pillboxbatco.com

Do you need a shaving brush? Maybe. Do you need a copper shaving brush? Probably not. Since when does rational thought matter, though? Check it out at jllawsonco.com

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AUDIOENGINE HD6 SPEAKERS When the whole family is over and the political conversations begin, you’re going to want to lock yourself in a room and crank up this stereo system. Both beautiful and full of the latest tech, these speakers pack the powerful punch that will even drown out your mother in law’s rants. Believe us – we put it to the test. Turn it up at audioengineusa.com

COLOR CORD COMPANY TWEED LIGHT FIXTURE In our attempt to highlight (pun intended) companies that are making lighting sexy again, we couldn’t resist Color Cord Company’s latest fixtures. PerfectCharles, for a garage or and a warehouse or the Scott, Rachel, Melissa Michael Berkowitz industrial décor you’re convincing your wife to incorporate into your home. Light up your life at colorcord.com

STAHL STEEL FIRE PIT Laurie Siegel

This is the kind of piece you build your backyard around. It’s sexy. It’s a conversation It and piece. Gary Siepser will last. Oh, and it will make your backyard the um…Talk of the Town. Practice fire safety at stahlfirepit.com

The best care, from our family to yours. We could tell you about our award-winning centers, our state-of-the-art programs and our 9 convenient locations throughout Bergen and Passaic counties. But at CareOne, we know what really matters:

compassionate people delivering the best care.

SHINOLA GUARDIAN WATCH Myershurt and most Ron Soussa If you love America, than you’re rooting for the renewal of Detroit, oneAnnette of the cities by our love for importing goods from China. Shinola is just one of those companies helping this fallen city get back on its feet. Water resistant up to 50 meters with an Argonite 705 quartz movement, the case is stainless steel with a sapphire crystal face. Pick up yours at LaViano Jewelers, Westwood.

BLISS MOBIL EXPEDITION VEHICLES

Short-Stay Rehabilitation

Memory Care

Long-Term Care

Respite Care

Assisted Living

Hospice Care

Beth Hirschberg and Gil Sandler

2016 had us all wanting to hide under rocks at some point or another. With Bliss Mobil Expedition Vehicles, you can climb over those rocks and create your own home anywhere you please. Ranging from 11 to 20 feet in length and built on wheel bases of 4x4, 6x6 and 8x8, these roaming homes can go anywhere. The inside has beds, bathrooms, lounging and cooking areas, and power supplied by roof-mounted solar panels keeps you connected wherever you may roam. Check them out at blissmobil.com

Featuring:

To find a location near you, call toll-free 877-99-CARE1 • visit www.care-one.com

Beth and Jay Nadel

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DR. BRUCE G. FREUND ORTEGA MK. 1C PERSONAL SUBMARINE I can remember the time when “making it” meant you drive that brand new Cadillac off the lot. Well, times they are a changing! Now, if you’re not diving over 300 feet below the surface using heads up display navigation to cruise the quiet depths…you may not have “made it” just yet. Dive in at ortega-submersibles.com

STELLAVIE DIRECTOR PORTRAIT PRINTS Sure, any movie buff can hang an old movie poster on his wall, but a real movie buff celebrates those whose faces never make the poster: the directors. These 16” x 20” prints celebrate some of the greatest directors of all times, incorporating pivotal scenes from their movies into the posters themselves. Limited to 200 prints per director. Cinema geeks head to stellavie.com for more.

MERCEDES-MAYBACH S650 CABRIOLET When luxury meets performance meets comfort, this is the outcome. Limited to just 300 worldwide and only 75 in the U.S., the S650 V12 biturbo produces 621hp and the interior is adorned in Nappa leather. Included with your purchase is a luggage set made of that same leather, incase you couldn’t afford a suitcase. Inquire at Benzel Busch Motorcorp, Englewood.

CRAFTHOUSE COCKTAIL SMOKE BOX Mixology is all the rage these days, and you cant be a proper tender of your bar if you can’t smoke your cocktails. Need I say more? Get yours at wineenthusiast.com

NOORDUNG ELECTRIC BIKE We just love cool looking bikes here. This one just happens to be one. Oh, and it’s electric, has usb ports and a Bluetooth speaker. I will say no more. Pedal your way to noordung.com

QUALITY SKIN CARE PRODUCTS BIOPELLE & PRESCRIBED SOLUTION | CLARISONIC NEOCUTIS | OBAGI | SKINCEUTICALS

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STYLE GUIDE

Location: The Time Hotel, Nyack Photographer: Nick Gagliano, Studio Uno Photography Stylist: Bruce Estevez Hair: Dom LaGrotteria, The Men’s Studio Alexis LaGrotteria, Salon Salon the Suite Makeup: Samantha Monize, MAC Cosmetics Models: Andy Peeke, GinaMarie Zimmerman All men’s clothing provided by Sal Lauretta for Men, Midland Park All women’s clothing provided by Maci, Westwood Watches provided by The Timepiece Collection, Englewood Leather goods provided by H.L. James

“Christmas Love” shirt by Robert Graham Sweater by Robert Graham Red Jeans by Joe’s Jeans Boots by Robert Graham Backpack by H.L. James Watch by Jaquet Droz 44

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Double Faced Blazer by Canali Dress Pants by Canali Shirt by Eton Lapel Flower by Hook & Albert Pocket Square by Hook & Albert Shoes by Hugo Boss Watch by Jaquet Droz HOLIDAY 2016

Suit by Canali Shirt by Eton Tie by Eton Pocket Square by Canali

Sunglasses Lapel Pin by Hook & Albert

Shoes by Hugo Boss Watch by Jaquet Droz

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Blue Dot Dinner Jacket by Sal Lauretta for Men Dress Pants by Sal Lauretta for Men Shirt by Eton Bowtie by Dion Pocket Square by Dion Metal Lapel Flower by Hook & Albert Watch by Glashutte 47

Suit by Hugo Boss Shirt by Hugo Boss Tie by Edward Armah Pocket Square by Edward Armah Shoes by Bruno Magli Watch by Glashutte 48

Dinner Jacket by Sand Dress Pants by Zanella Shirt by Eton Bowtie by Dion Pocketsquare by Dion Watch by Glashutte 49

ANTHEM OF THE SEAS: THE SMOOTHEST OF SAILING DAYS BY DAVID KRISO

ith fall officially here, the leaves are turning colors. Very soon, the trees will be turning bare. When trees are becoming bare, winter is around the corner. October 29th, 2016, marks the official start of the winter cruising season. There is no better ship to experience during the winter than Royal Caribbean’s Anthem of The Seas. At 167,000 tons, the Anthem of The Seas is one of four year-round vessels sailing out of the New York area. Carrying a maximum load of 4,900 guests, she boasts a reputation as being among the top vessels in Royal Caribbean’s fleet. There’s plenty said about her on board amenities. There are bumper cars and the North Star ride, but the niftiest feature by far is the embarkation process. It is truly “smooth sailing”. When officially booked and payments are made, guests can begin the process of online check-in. Online check-in is king. It is the way of the world in the cruising industry. It saves guests a significant amount of time in the terminal. The online checkin process includes personal information, passport information, setting up on board charge accounts, and signing the on board contracts. Further, guests are given the opportunity to upload their own security photos, rather than have to wait in a long line pre-board.

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At last, the day arrives. It is sailing day. Guests are dropped off either at the curbside outside the terminal by limo or taxi. Buses arrive at the bus bay directly across from the terminal entrance. Guests who wish to drive to the Cape Liberty terminal can park their vehicles in the parking structure adjacent to the terminal. There, longshoremen will be collecting luggage from the guests as they arrive. A sign outside the parking structure indicates the parking cost. Once the car is parked and luggage has been turned in, it is time for the check-in process to begin. Having completed the online check-in process, each guest needs to have his/her own Set Sail Pass in hand. The check-in staff, wearing either turquoise sweaters or yellow and black Royal Caribbean jackets, will take it from there. The check-in agent will either do a manual search on the tablet computer or scan the bar code on the Set Sail Pass. If not already done at home, the check-in agent will take the guests’ security photos. Next, the check-in agent will ask everyone in the party the health questions. If “no” is given to all questions, the check-in agent will swipe the guests’ passports. Next, the check-in agent will double-check to make sure all other steps are completed. If all check-in information is good, the guests are officially embarked. The check-in agent HOLIDAY 2016

will then stamp each of the Set Sail Passes with the green Cape Liberty logo. With the Cape Liberty logo stamped on their Set Sail Passes, the guests are ready to board. Once officially checked in, everyone’s wondering “What about the Sea Pass cards?” The Sea Pass cards are the guests’ stateroom key cards. They act as the guests’ identification, on board charge card, and stateroom key. Having boarded the ship, guests are allowed to use their Set Sail Passes temporarily for making any on board charges until the staterooms are open. The staterooms are available for occupancy at one o’clock. When guests arrive at their staterooms, they will see an envelope outside their door. Inside is one of their Sea Pass cards. The remaining cards can be found inside the stateroom. Guests who are in a suite are given complimentary Royal WOW wristbands. They can be used for making on board purchases and getting in and out of the stateroom. Anyone who has previously sailed on the Anthem of the Seas or have sailed on the Quantum of The Seas should not throw out their Royal WOW wristbands. Guest Services can reprogram them for each cruise. What about dining arrangements? There are four themed dining rooms on board the Anthem of The Seas. They are American Icon, Silk, Chic, and The Grande. Guests who wish

to check on their dining room arrangements can see the Maitre d’ at either the American Icon or Silk dining rooms. Specialty dining arrangements can be made by seeing a host/hostess at the restaurant entrance or by calling extension 7000 on their stateroom phone. Royal Caribbean has added incredible smart technology to its ships. On the Quantum, Anthem, and Ovation of The Seas, the Royal IQ is the feature which tech savvy guests are sure to use often. The Royal IQ app allows guests to keep track of their dining arrangements, entertainment, and excursion schedules. Guests who aren’t tech savvy can use the Royal IQ kiosks on decks 4 and 5 midship. Winter cannot be a better time for cruising. It is that time to escape to the warmer weather of the Bahamas and the Caribbean. The Anthem of The Seas, based in Bayonne, NJ, is the best ship to do so. The world-class entertainment, the incredible food on board cuisine, and on board experiences such as Ripcord by I-Fly and the North Star make the Anthem of The Seas a ship for all North Jerseyans to enjoy this winter. Winter is not just the time to “Come seek the Royal Caribbean”. Winter is the time to “Come seek” the Anthem of The Seas. Rest and relaxation await off Exit 14A of I-78.

Our renowned team: Shalin P. Desai, MD; Tariqshah M. Syed, MD; Stephen J. Angeli, MD; Gerard T. Eichman, MD; David M. Wild, MD

What an ounce of prevention looks like. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Ben Franklin preached it. We practice it. Our team of board-certified cardiologists is focused on preventing and treating heart disease with advanced diagnostics and cardiac monitoring, along with early intervention. Take Ben’s advice to heart. Expert cardiac care is just a phone call away.

Cardiovascular Specialists of North Jersey 954 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666 | Tel: 201-833-2300

www.CardiovascularSpecialistsNJ.com

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WHAT TO WATCH FOR NOMOS GLASHÜTTE MAKES WAVES IN THE US BY BRANDON GOLDSTEIN

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These days, time is delivered to us in many forms – whether it’s your wrist watch, your cable box, the pocket sized computers we still call “cell phones,” or for those unwilling in even the slightest to adapt to technology, the occasional moss covered sun dial. Though watch makers in Geneva have perfected the craft of time keeping more precisely than most of us will ever need it, each day more and more companies are jumping on board to give their take on time. Nomos Glashütte is just doing it really well. Glashütte, Germany is not a town new to watchmaking. A rich history of time telling dates back to the early 1800’s, and continues today with stringent guidelines watchmakers must adhere to in order to even say their watches are from Glashütte. Known as a “center of excellence” for watch making, these guidelines state that a company must create at least 50% of it’s caliber within Glashütte in order to brand themselves “Glashütte Watches.” Nomos takes pride in building up to 95% of it’s movement within the town’s limits. Stroll through a watch store, and you’ll notice each brand adheres to certain styles. Nomos is no different, but has taken an unusual approach to design that separates them from the rest. Having their own in-house creative style studio in Berlin, a short distance from

Glashütte, Nomos takes great pride in drawing the inspiration of Berlin’s thriving cultural scene into each watch it produces. In recent years, Nomos has drawn worldwide accolades for their astounding design both inside and out. Time telling is tricky business these days. Competition is fierce and, as stated earlier, you’re no longer simply competing with other watchmakers, but technology companies without regard for tradition. Nomos employs some 5th generation watch-makers, telling the true tale of fine time telling: that a good watch truly withstands the test of time. Nomos’ contemporary design and undertones of simplicity are what make it stand out amongst a watch world that continually grows flashier. Sleek, lightweight design is where Nomos has set themselves apart from the rest. Most of us aren’t aviators or deep-sea divers. For the every day man, Nomos is perfect. Watchmakers will have to answer many questions in the coming years. Within their meeting rooms, they probably already are. What is the future of watches? Will hundreds of years of perfecting movement design dwindle down to a touch screen with a dead battery half the time? Will appreciation for craftsmanship and intricate mechanics be able to generate enough demand for these brilliant companies to keep producing beautiful timepieces? Unfortunately, excuse my pun, only time will tell. But for now, a Nomos will tell it better. 55

TAVERN62 BY DAVID BURKE

HALIFAX RESTAURANT AT W HOBOKEN For those who long to experience Nova Scotia, but haven’t yet found their way there—Halifax has arrived. The new, creative collaboration of owner Michael Barry and Executive Chef Seadon Shouse, Halifax is a taste of the Northeastern Coast—but with stunning riverside views of the Manhattan skyline. At Halifax, land and sea come together: not just outside your window but right on your table—with farm and coastal cuisine from the Mid-Atlantic to New England and further north to Nova Scotia where chef Shouse grew up. Barry and Shouse liken the menu to what you would have found in any coastal village restaurant a century ago, featuring locally sourced meat, fish, produce and dairy. Working within the lofty structure designed by Gwathmey Siegel, architect and designer Peter Bentel of Bentel & Bentel (whose restaurant design projects include Le Bernardin, Gramercy Tavern, Eleven Madison Park and Craft) created a dining room that captures the essence of Shouse’s menu. The décor evokes the sea, sky and coastal farmland, with light blues, light greens, whites and grays. Bleached white oak tables and chairs, with a splash of color; walls covered with moss, fern and bark; a beautiful, curved, live edge oak bar and white washed floors create a casual, comfortable yet elegant setting. Shouse’s culinary influences include French, Italian and American, but Halifax takes him back to his earlier years along the North Atlantic coast. He is passionate when it comes to seafood and sustainability (only Marine Stewardship Council Certified seafood is served at Halifax) as well as foraging, and is unmatched in the skills of dry curing and smoking. Shouse comes to Halifax with 15 years of culinary experience in restaurants from Nantucket to Florida. He was one of the opening chefs at the award-winning Proof on Main in Louisville, Kentucky. He also served as Executive Chef at Glenmere Mansion in Chester, NY, named one of the ‘Top 40 Hotels for Food Lovers’ by Bon Appétit Magazine. Most recently Chef Shouse was the Executive Chef of the renowned French seafood brasserie Millesime inside the Carlton Hotel in midtown New York. The experience at Halifax is warm and welcoming with small, meaningful touches: popcorn dusted with smoked seaweed and horseradish and warm, house baked Parker House rolls, served with butter topped with sea salt personally harvested by Shouse from the Atlantic Ocean, are brought to the table while you review the menu. But here’s a tip: the ideal meal at Halifax begins with smoked fish, charcuterie and cheese boards for the table. Cured and smoked fish includes Seadon’s childhood favorite—maple-glazed smoked wild salmon and smoked pollock rillettes (an underutilized fish). Meats include thinly sliced pork lomo; garlic salami and duck liver paté. The changing selection of artisan cheese are sourced locally—currently Slyboro Goat from New York, Baley Hazen Blue from Ver-

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mont. You can build a plate from one category or select from among all three. Each item on the plate is a standout bursting with flavor; together they form a symphony. Next it’s on to the raw bar selections: East and West coast oysters, Long Island littleneck clams, poached Florida shrimp, Seadon’s house-smoked mussels (a revelation). There’s also a changing selection of crudo—currently it’s Montauk fluke with a squeeze of lime, fresno chilies, radish and sunchokes. Plates to share include deviled eggs—topped with house smoked herring, scallions and garlic chips, and lightly battered quenelles of gluten-free salt cod and Florida shrimp fritters. Starters (these you should keep to yourself) include clam chowder, chocked full of freshly shucked clam, potato, topped with shaved Kentucky double smoked ham and served with house made rye oyster crackers. For entrees, dive into the ocean or stay put on dry land. From the water, there’s Maine blue cod with fall vegetables, apple cider; Barnegat sea scallops with cauliflower, golden raisins, capers and beurre blanc; and Maine lobster rigatoni with trumpet mushrooms and lemon. From the farms, there is smoked Amish chicken, brined and lightly smoked in-house, then roasted, served with warm salad of toasted bread and local greens, with currants, pine nuts, and scallions, and heritage breed pork loin with green garbanzos, wilted greens, celery leaves, and apple marmalade. Pastry chef Stuart Marx, who also worked with Chef David Burke at Fromagerie and with Dominic Filoni at Avenue, has created brilliant desserts: pear & mascarpone tart with candied hazelnuts and ice cream; maple crème brulée; spiced pumpkin smores and Butter Toffee Panna Cotta, apple fritters with caramel sauce that not only transcend, but transform expectations. Finally, and most notably, Seadon’s own personal stash of house made vermouth along with cookies baked by Stuart are brought to the table at the end of each meal. An enviable selection of well-crafted specialty and classic cocktails complement the flavors and ingredients of Shouse’s menu. They are composed with seasonal fruits and vegetables, local herbs and botanical—and a selection of locally distilled spirits. Only fresh squeezed juices, with flavors like cranberry and raspberry, cucumber and watermelon, thyme and mint, are mixed into Halifax cocktails. Wines come from upstate New York, LI, and other places along the coast, with the list mapped by grape. For example, Pinot Noirs from California, Oregon, New Zealand, France; Cabernet from California, France and Italy. Beers on tap come from Departed Soles (Jersey City NJ), Singlecut Beersmiths from Queens, and other local breweries. On weekends, the bubbles brunch with unlimited small plates and a bottle of Champagne is served Sat-Sun 11am-3pm.

The new restaurant, which is the first original NYC concept for world-renowned Chef Burke and ESquared Hospitality, showcases Burke’s award-winning craftsmanship of creating excellent food and drinks, paired with superb hospitality service. Located on East 62nd Street, in one of New York City’s premiere shopping and hotel destinations, Tavern62 by David Burke will be open seven days a week with extended lunch hours to cater to residents and visitors seeking a substantial late-afternoon dining experience. The restaurant will offer an expansive all-day menu that features American plates that reflect Chef Burke’s signature contemporary style of cooking and whimsy. With a nod to elevated New York classics, modern tavern dishes with creative and seasonal twists, prepared in conjunction with Executive Chef Ed Cotton, will be paired with a curated wine list, craft beers and a specialty cocktail program curated by Sommelier Manny Paredes. Among a wide variety of offerings from Chef Burke, diners will enjoy Duck Duck Duck, featuring duck prepared three-ways, for two people; a Seaweed Soaked & Roasted Chicken; Tuna Poké; Octopus Carpaccio as well as a unique Toast Bar for Artisanal Flatbreads and Toasts. The dessert menu will be based around American-style sweets including a collection of house-made pies, Chef Burke’s famous Cheesecake Pops, as well as a unique Chocolate Waffle Cake

presented at tables in a waffle iron. “I am so excited to launch Tavern62 by David Burke as an original New York City concept with ESquared Hospitality,” said Chef Burke “Our inspiration for creating the space was largely built on the idea of paying tribute to old New York and making it a dining destination, whether you are visiting from out of town or you live in the neighborhood. We think diners will enjoy the signature touches we have woven into the concept, from our modern tavern fare to the custom artwork and top-of-the line service.” The warm, bohemian 3,265 square foot space and its quirky features were the collaborative vision of Chef Burke and renowned interior designer Andres Escobar. Situated on the first two levels of a classic townhouse, the bi-level restaurant seats approximately 135 patrons and will feature a bar and lounge, several private dining spaces – including a library room and solarium on the second floor – and a main dining room situated upstairs. Upon entry, diners are immediately greeted by a vestibule entirely cladded by back-lit bricks made out of sea salt, a material innovatively introduced by Chef Burke, black & white floor tiles with design motifs selected by Burke, as well as a range of pieces from his personal art collection, such as a vintage Bugatti race model hanging over the bar, and unique textiles and photos throughout the space in a nod to Old New York. Tavern 62 is located at 135 East 62nd Street. Visit them online at tavern62.com.

Halifax is located at W Hoboken at 225 River Street, Hoboken. 201-253-2500, halifaxhoboken.com.

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Cellar 335 When someone typically finds success at something, they look to replicate it elsewhere. The same cannot be said about Chef Jamie Knott. While his upscale northern Bergen County restaurant, Saddle River Inn, is packed nightly, Chef Knott wasn’t looking to just bring that proven menu to another locale. Instead, Knott went with a whole different restaurant concept. In a dark basement below a performance hall undergoing renovation sits Chef Knott’s newest tribute to food and beverage: Cellar 335. Designed by interior design firm D&G, the space utilizes its innate darkness to create an intimate, albeit secretive feeling atmosphere. The world walks by, but only the select few know what lies below ground level. Hand painted murals fill the walls, as does a “living” wall concocted of plants. Red is the prominent color featured in 335, and it only adds to the vibe of exclusivity. We will get to the food in a moment, but the cocktails cannot be easily dismissed. Along with a lengthy menu of hand crafted cocktails served in an eclectic Tiki style wares, are three “large

AMERICAN CUT BAR & GRILL When American Cut Bar & Grill first opened to much fan fare in Englewood Cliffs last Spring, guests were expecting the Marc Forgione staples of quality service and delicious food that they had come to expect from visiting his Manhattan flagship steakhouse. Never truly paying attention to the Bar & Grill moniker that flanked this particular restaurant’s name, diners were soon disappointed that this whole new concept didn’t live up to what they have come to know from Forgione, LDV Hospitality and the American Cut brand. Fast-forward to present day, and a whole new team has taken over American Cut. At the helm is Executive Chef Anthony Russo, an NJ resident and chef of LDV Hospitality in New York City for nearly 10 years. Chef Russo brings exceptional culinary skills to Englewood Cliffs creating signature dishes found on the original ‘American Cut’ menu along with a selection of lighter fare, including salads, grilled fish and a dedicated raw bar section. The Bar & Grill also serves an approachable lunch menu, 58

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format” drinks great for sharing or you know…forgetting the day. If nothing else, they get the conversation between you and your blind date started real quick. Cellar 335 serves progressive Asian American dishes with sharing in mind. The knowledgeable wait staff walks you through everything, and will recommend how much to order of each small item based on your group’s size. The prices are relatively low and surprisingly don’t add up fast. A table for 7 might have a $400 bill, but that’s with at least 5 “large format” drinks and no one in the party was walking out hungry or dissatisfied. For the sake of giving a few specific recommendations, though we enjoyed most of the menu, the spicy cornbread, Bao buns, charred edamame and crack fries are a great start. Follow that up with crispy Duroc ribs, Korean style wings and Prime Polynesian Ribeye and you will be loosening your belt in overly content pleasure. Cellar 335: 335 Newark Avenue, Jersey City

including the famous “in-house” burger that’s not to be missed. The bi-level restaurant, designed exquisitely by architect Danny Forster, offers a 150 seat dining room, including a bar and lounge area brought to life with a craft cocktail program, incorporating staples such as the Plank Smoked Old Fashioned and a curated happy hour menu. An outdoor patio and fire pit keeps the party going outside through most of the year, with Havana Nights on Thursdays in warmer weather that feature cigars and Mambo, though you probably won’t be worrying about that for the next few months. With the new team looking to transform American Cut Bar & Grill into a restaurant we will once again be happy to visit, they are pulling out all the stops. A new lunch menu just launched, and they’re planning a Black and White New Years Eve party to show everyone what they can do. It’s definitely worth checking out again. American Cut Bar & Grill: 495 Sylvan Avenue, Englewood Cliffs.

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BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE BUNDLE UP WITHOUT SACRIFICING STYLE

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Puffer Jacket with fur by Psycho Bunny Scarf by Psycho Bunny Jeans by Adriano Goldschmied Backpack by H.L. James 61

Coat by Hickey Freeman Scarf by Edward Armah Henley by Adriano Goldschmied Jeans by Adriano Goldschmied 62

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City Coat by Hugo Boss Scarf by Canali Jeans by 7 For All Mankind HOLIDAY 2016

200 Club of Bergen County

CHARITY GUIDE

he hustle and bustle of daily life can sometimes make us lose sight of what is truly important. It’s the holiday season that provides us with that annual reminder to come back down to Earth. While surrounded by our family and friends, we reflect on the great times we spent together in the past, and revel in the traditions that will keep us close many years into the future. The holiday season has also become synonymous with giving. Each year, millions of people open their hearts, and their wallets, for causes that affect some deeply, and others not at all. Our extraordinary charitable generosity is just another trait that distinguishes Americans from so much of the rest of the world. As we volunteer our time, or donate to those who need it the most, we help shape and change the lives of people we may never even meet. Here, we provide a small, select list of the many charitable foundations working to make each day better for so many people. It is our hope you will be inspired by one or more of them to offer them your support.

Urology Care Foundation Focus: Urologic diseases Website: www.urologyhealth.org The Urology Care Foundation is the nation’s leading urologic health charity, promoting research, advocacy and education in an effort to ultimately cure urologic diseases. Now, if you’re a little unclear about exactly what urology is, don’t be ashamed. Urology deals with more than just the diseases of the male and female urinary tract; it also focuses on the male reproductive organs so you can rejoice in the knowledge that someone is looking after you-know-what. The Urology Care Foundation is a premier and mainstream organization involved across the whole spectrum of urology advocacy. One of its key areas of advocacy is expressed in its “Let Your Voice Be Heard” campaign, which urges the public to press Congress to support the Training and Research in Urology (TRU) Act.

Focus: Law enforcement, fire and EMS workers Website: www.200club.org The 200 Club of Bergen County is committed to supporting, both financially and emotionally, Bergen County Law Enforcement, Fire and EMS personnel and their families in the event of death or serious injury in the line of duty. The organization also provides support in the form of scholarships and special needs appropriations to agencies that serve and protect Bergen County communities.

Diabetes Research Institute Foundation Focus: Diabetes Website: www.diabetesresearch.org The largest and most comprehensive diabetes research center dedicated to curing diabetes, the DRI is aggressively working to shrink the timeline toward the discovery of a biological cure for this disease. Multidisciplinary teams of scientists, together with international collaborators, are bridging cell-based therapies with emerging technologies to restore insulin production in patients with diabetes.

Habitat for Humanity of Bergen County Big Brothers Big Sisters Focus: Helping all children achieve success in life Website: www.bbbsnj.org The mission of this organization is to provide children facing adversity with strong and enduring, professionally supported one-to-one relationships that change their lives for the better, forever.

Focus: Affordable housing for needy families Website: www.habitatbergen.org Its mission is to provide decent, affordable homes for hardworking Bergen County families. The organization joins in a common goal with other affiliates of this international organization to eliminate poverty housing and homelessness from the face of the earth by working in partnership with people in need. Using volunteer labor and donated funds and materials, Habitat builds or rehabilitates simple, decent, homes and sells them to low-income families at cost but with no interest charged. Habitat is a people-to-people partnership, which joins everyone together regardless of race, nationality, religion or socioeconomic status.

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CHARITY GUIDE Continued from pg. xx

Homes Fit for Heroes Focus: War veterans Website: www.homesfitforheroes.net The group was founded on the following principles: that as Americans we have a duty to support those that fight with honor and make sacrifices to protect the freedoms that we so often take for granted; that there is no greater honor than to extend a hand to a wounded soldier and his family; that if we want the United States of America to be the greatest country in the world we too need to sacrifice and be custodians of freedom. Accordingly, the Homes Fit for Heroes Foundation was established to provide wounded Special Operations warriors with shelter from the storm allowing them to recover from their injuries with the comfort, dignity and respect they deserve.

THE COLD EXIT DECKING MY HALLS By Mike Morse

Sean Kimerling Testicular Cancer Foundation (SKTCF) Focus: Testicular cancer Website: www.seankimerling.org Established in memory of Sean Kimerling, an Emmy Award-winning anchor of CW11 sports and pre-game announcer for the New York Mets whose life was cut stark short in his prime, the SKTCF is dedicated to raising awareness of testicular cancer and highlighting the importance of self-examination. The Foundation has received praise for its unique social marketing approaches, including some pretty hilarious viral videos (type “Check your balls” in YouTube for further clarification). The message is clear and simple: No man should die from testicular cancer. Perform self-examinations often and get over the stigma of seeing your doctor. It might just save your life.

Zero Focus: Prostate cancer Website: www.zerocancer.org ZERO, The Project to End Prostate Cancer, takes a hard stance on prostate cancer; hence the name. The idea: ZERO means zero prostate cancer deaths, zero prostate cancer cases and for those with the disease, a zero PSA. With its hard-line message comes aggressive campaigning, which includes ZERO’s Drive Against Prostate Cancer campaign, the only national mobile screening program for prostate cancer. Be sure to keep your eye out for the ZERO Drive vehicles; they’re sleek 39-foot mobile screening buses offering no-appointment prostate screening exams. Best of all: The Drive buses feature flat-screen TVs with satellite cable for your viewing pleasure while you wait. It’s the only way to go!

The holidays are upon us once again. Watching the holiday season unfold is like watching a movie about the zombie apocalypse. It starts slowly, with subtle warning signs foretelling the impending takeover of our society. While at work, you hear Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” wafting from the speakers of a distant radio. In the hustle and bustle of your daily routine, the tune barely registers in your brain. While doing your weekly grocery shopping, you see a festive ribbon-strewn wreath or large plastic candy cane out of the corner of your eye. You’re focused on trying to decide which brand of chicken pot pie to purchase, so you blithely ignore it. But the holiday’s tendrils are spreading quickly, and you suddenly begin to notice elves and talking snowmen popping up on TV commercials as you sit on your couch eating microwaved chicken pot pie. Before you know it, it’s everywhere. Empty parking lots are now filled with rows and rows of overpriced pine trees, depart-

ment store windows are plastered with red and green signs touting their BIG HOLIDAY SAVINGS, and some sketchy dude in a wrinkled Santa outfit is ringing a bell on every street corner. The holiday season has risen up and taken over, and you can either embrace it or hole up in a safe space until January arrives. I always feel bad for my Jewish friends this time of year because Christmas has a huge advantage over Hanukkah in the music department. Aside from Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song, there are not many catchy tunes about the holiday. Can’t we get a few Jewish pop stars to record some modern Hanukkah-themed jingles? Maybe Ariana Grande can pen an ode to her Jewish boyfriend called “Spin My Dreidel.” Or Drake can do a rap called “Yo, It’s Menorah Lightin’ Time.” Perhaps we can assemble a Jewish super-group, with Adam Levine, Bruno Mars, Billy Joel, Bob Dylan, Carly Simon, Lenny Kravitz, Pink, and Adam Lambert to do a reboot of the Mariah Carey song called “All I Want For Hanukkah Is You And Maybe A Nice Potato Latke.” But I digress. I bring all this up because, although I enjoy the holiday season as a whole, there’s one part that I dread each and every year… excuse me, I just shivered violently at the thought… it’s the OUTDOOR CHRISTMAS DECORATING! First of all, let me say that I am not a big fan of cold weather. Every year, around this time, while I’m hoisting my eight-hundred and thirty-seventh shovelful of cold, wet snow off my driveway, I think, “Why the hell aren’t I laying on a beach behind my oceanfront mansion in southern Florida, sipping on a cold beer?” Then I realize how much an oceanfront mansion in southern Florida would cost, and I go back to shoveling. I do have the beer, though. But, every December, I have a mission: Take a boxful of Christmas lights and attach them to the front of my house. Sounds easy, right? Haha! I open up the box to remove the strands of lights I had so carefully and meticulously rolled up and packed away in January, only to find a knotted, twisted, jumbled ball of wires. Somehow, in their eleven months

of garage storage, these lights had found a way to entangle themselves into the world’s longest and most festive pretzel. So, there I sit on my front lawn, brow furrowed as I attempt to crack the DiVinci Code of Christmas lights in front of me. Eventually, I solve the puzzle and move on to Step Two… attaching them to the house. I grab the ladder that has leaned unused against the side of the garage since this time last year. It is old, and rickety, and obviously unsafe for human use. And every year I think to myself, “I’ve got to buy a new ladder before I kill myself with this thing.” And every year that thought flies out of my head as soon as I’m done with the lights, until it pops back into my head the next year. I’m still alive though! So up, up, up I climb, one hand holding the strand of lights, the other gripping the jiggling, swaying ladder like my life depends on it, which it does. Although my house does not normally seem to be abnormally tall while I’m standing on the ground, as I climb I estimate it to be comparable to the Empire State Building. I get to the top of my roofline and begin attaching the lights. Since it’s approximately seventy-five degrees colder up atop Mt. Morse then it was way way down on terra firma, my hands tremble from the cold (and the fear of plunging to my death, of course), so it’s slow going. Hours pass. I contemplate just leaping from my wobbly ladder and leaving the rest of the lighting to my mourning heirs. But no! I WILL DO THIS! And I do. I complete the mission and take the shambling junk heap of the ladder away from the house, and then stand back to admire my handy work. Anyone who has ever performed this task knows exactly what’s coming next… there’s a strand of lights NOT WORKING. So I do what any man would do in this situation. I go inside, grab a beer, a dream about being on a beach in southern Florida. Happy Holidays. Follow Mike on Facebook and Twitter because it would make him happy. facebook.com/mike.morse.1806 twitter.com/mikemorsesays

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