TALK OF THE TOWNS

talk

OF THE TOWNS

by bill beggs jr.

st. louis

If all of a sudden you got a $790 million windfall, other than wishing it were a couple billion instead because you’re as greedy as the next lottery winner, what would you do with it? Well, St. Louis city and county are debating how to divvy up that amount, the settlement of our town’s little disagreement with Stan Kroenke over transplanting our sometimes beloved Rams from here to L.A. First of all, Forbes estimates Kroenke’s net worth to be nearly $11 billion. So it’s a ‘penalty’ of less than 10%, arguably a minor inconvenience for someone that filthy rich, whose pile of money probably gets bigger by the minute. Second of all,

Kroenke’s wife, Ann Walton Kroenke, is just a little less wealthy: $8.8 billion. She’s a Walton, for goodness’ sake, as in the family responsible for Walmart, which to many is a reason to dislike her just on general principle. Stan ’n’ Ann play pro sports just like you might expect obscenely wealthy Americans to—not entirely ethically and all lawyered up. Since 2015, Ann has been owner of the Denver Nuggets (NBA) and Colorado Avalanche (NHL), which Stan had owned until the NFL allowed him to keep the Rams only if he transferred ownership of the basketball and hockey teams to his spouse. Well you gotta love the NFL and how they coddle their team owners. But a guy like Kroenke wouldn’t have settled so quickly had it not been in his own best interest. Kroenke’s a player, and we all got played.

BILL BEGGS JR. HAS WORN MANY HATS AT NEWSPAPERS, MAGAZINES AND IN MARKETING COMMUNICATIONS SINCE BEFORE THE ERA OF THE FLOPPY DISC. NOW HE JUST WEARS A HAT TO KEEP HIS BALD SPOT FROM GETTING SUNBURNT. YOU CAN REACH HIM AT WRTRS.BLCK@GMAIL.COM.

the metro

I heard some pundit declare the phrase of 2021 is “You’re on mute!” During the pandemic, I can’t think of any phrase that’s been uttered as often on Zoom. Well, at the beginning of our Zoom era, many more virtual meeting attendees failed to mute themselves and probably muttered something untoward about someone else on the screen, which, in Hollywood Squares parlance, may have been about the chatty person in the square where Paul Lynde was in that 1970s game show. At the start of the COVID-19 crisis, a Supreme Court justice reportedly failed to go on mute and the others on the call were treated to the sound of a flushing toilet. More than one person has stood up at their laptop to—whoopsy!—reveal their undies to everyone else on the call. Live and learn, of course. I’m sure it’s not just Joe or Jane Schmo or Supreme Court justices who’ve embarrassed themselves as such in a professional situation. Just think of the banker wearing an expensive tie and grey suit jacket. Miss Manners is long gone, of course, but would she have insisted that dress pants are de rigueur in a virtual environment, when jeans or boxer shorts would suffice? Of course. She and Emily Post didn’t cut corners. These are mere musings, rhetorical questions, of course. Indeed, banking is the point I’m leading up to. We haven’t had reason to visit the Clayton branch of our financial institution since March of 2020. It had been nice to chat with Liz, our ‘personal banker,’ about our families and professional fortunes in person while doing nothing more complicated than depositing a check. Liz was promoted out of the branch sometime before day-to-day business as we know it went all to hell. Before the spring of 2020 descended upon us all, she’d shown me how to use my smartphone to deposit a check, perhaps not realizing that she was rendering herself less necessary. Statistics indicate that bank tellers are a category that has suffered a nearly 20% reduction during the pandemic. One would think the number of branches would have dropped precipitously, as well. Throughout the StL, however, it’s been only 6% or so. Well, how about that! We could all take an extended holiday to celebrate… hey, what about taking off a few days between Christmas and the New Year?

kirkwood

McArthur’s Bakery and Schnucks are giving St. Louisans another reason to smile through the holidays and beyond. The bakery’s Smiley Face Cookie Co. product has launched into nearly all Schnucks stores. Anyone who grew up in St. Louis remembers these happy cookies from McArthur’s, which creates cookie decorating jobs for local adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities through the StepUp Program of Lafayette Industries. StepUp team members decorate each oversized butter cookie with great care and truly love what they do, says Scott Rinaberger, owner of McArthur’s Bakery. Lafayette Industries is an individualized training program designed to showcase the abilities of clients to gain and/or maintain competitive employment. Clients gain long-term social and job skills through an innovative curriculum created by experienced special educators in both classroom and business settings. Pioneer Bakery in Kirkwood provides training for food service jobs via StepUp.

TT trivia ☛

WHEN DID STAN KROENKE VAMOOSE WITH THE ST. LOUIS RAMS TO L.A., AND WHEN DID OUR CITY AND COUNTY’S SUIT AGAINST HIM AND THE NFL BEGIN?

LAST ISSUE’S Q&A

Which company has the largest footprint, in terms of total number of U.S. locations: McDonald’s, Starbucks or Walgreens? Starbucks has the most U.S. locations—as of September 2019, there were 15,149 places to send your assistant for an obscenely expensive latte. (There’s even more now, if the company still opens an average of two stores a day worldwide). As of Nov. 15, there were 14,146 McDonald’s, so their ‘billions and billions served’ might be ‘a trillion’ before that asteroid hits the earth and wipes out all of us lazy eaters. Walgreens reported 9,021 locations as of Aug. 31, 2020.

grand center

Peter Palermo, executive director of the Sheldon, happened to mark his third anniversary ‘at the gig’ on Dec. 3, the very day we sat down to talk in his office at the concert hall and art galleries. Palermo is every bit as approachable as when he comes on stage to express his gratitude to an audience just for being there. He’d known since his youth that he’d be “in show business,” he says with a broad smile, opening his arms wide as if to encompass everything that means, which is appropriate for a stately building whose tagline is ‘Art Without Borders.’ Yes, the 712-seat venue, not counting the folding chairs at the ready for when a show is more than sold out, has been blessed with jazz, classical, folk and ‘world’ performers, plus many artists who defy categories, from, take a deep breath, Wynton Marsalis, Diana Krall, B.B. King and Roseanne Cash to Richard Thompson, Béla Fleck, Dianne Reeves, Erin Bode, Al Franken and Dennis Quaid, Fema Kuti, Kathy Mattea, Todd Snider … now, breathe normally. “Who?” you may rightly ask about some of these artists. No worries. After a concert here, as intimate as the surroundings are, you’ll feel like you’ve just shared your living room with good friends. “We may not even need to turn on the P.A.,” Palermo says, with a touch of awe. “And the room is my boss.” What a room it is! The acoustics are fine as a frog hair split four ways; think Powell Symphony Hall, only smaller. Palermo came to the metro in 2006 from San Francisco, where he bolstered his resume by working with dance companies that traveled the world. Then he relocated to smack in the middle of everything. “I moved to Lebanon, Illinois, and my wife didn’t leave me,” he says, a twinkle in his eye. He built the performing arts program at McKendree University in the scenic burg. Although he initially wanted to act, Palermo realized early in his career that he’d create better experiences by serving the arts behind the scenes by managing and producing. He does play guitar and harmonica; he acknowledges: “What I lack in talent I make up for in volume.” In the summer, the public may Golf the Galleries! Yes, there’s a minigolf course, but usually without the requisite windmill at the final hole. The course is designed by artists; as such, it’s wildly different in each incarnation. “This is a place where music and the visual arts talk to one another, if that makes sense.” Maybe it shouldn’t, but it does. Any borders are blurry here. And that’s wonderful. On one wall of Palermo’s office is a ‘trophy’—a ram’s head, its horns silvery. An artist created it to challenge putters at gallery golf. Leaning against another wall is a framed poster for bluegrass phenom Marty Stuart & His Fabulous Superlatives. And oh, by the way, the Sheldon would be a great place for a wedding and reception or a once-in-a-lifetime corporate meeting. Really. Visit thesheldon.org. &

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