[New] Reflecting on the past year can make us focus on who we want to be in the world.

By Mary Boutieller

As we approach another New Year, I find myself reflecting on the past year’s challenges and victories, mistakes and lessons, heartache and joy. And I feel so fortunate to have experienced it all.

Sometimes we like to think that we will live forever; that there will always be another opportunity to do the things we’ve been waiting to do, but evidence is to the contrary. When I realize that I have lived more days already than I will going forward, it changes things. My focus becomes clearer on who I want to be in the world.

And although these thoughts can be unsettling, they can also be liberating. These truths can free us to be more thoughtful, less selfish; more compassionate, less self-centered; more honest—with ourselves and with others.

As we move forward, perhaps we can pause and remember the exquisite truth imprinted on our souls.

For me, I want to remember that every time I smile, I feel better. And each time I share that smile with someone else, I hope that they feel better too.

I want to remember that I am a human being on the path. I will have good days, bad days and many in-between. I will take two steps forward and one step back on this life’s journey, and that’s perfectly okay. I want others to remember that they are okay, too, just the way they are. In fact, they are better than okay. They (you) are amazing.

I want to remember that the people I love will someday be gone, so I need to forgive perceived trespasses and let go of grievances NOW, before it’s too late.

I want to remember that there is surface stuff and deep stuff. The surface stuff is there to distract, divide and conquer. It’s the ego on hyperdrive thinking it’s important when it isn’t. The deep stuff, the stuff that counts, is beyond ego or having to be right. It is about love and beauty and joy and understanding. It’s about realizing that everyone has struggled at some time or another, even if it seems otherwise.

I want to remember that my words matter...and do my best to speak kindly. This is not always easy for me. I get frustrated and I say unkind things. And when I do, I feel it—and it feels less and less satisfying each time. It’s like my heart telling me that enough is enough.

I want to remember that my body is my temple and, if I take care of it, it will help me through life’s bumps and bruises. If I start from a good place, a healthy place, it may just be a little easier to handle the rough roads that may lie ahead.

I want to remember that it takes a village. None of us are alone here, even if it sometimes feels that way. Reach out, pick up the phone, be vulnerable and raw and open. Ask for help; lend a hand.

I want to remember how poetry makes me feel; how an old movie can make me cry; how a true friend’s voice warms me from the inside out.

And I want to remember to trust more, love more, and breathe more.

What are the things you want to remember as you contemplate this new year? Perhaps you have a list of your own which resonates with your soul.

To each and every one of you, thank you for your presence in my life and for helping me along the path.