Once we begin to know ourselves better and are able to give ourselves what we need, it becomes easier to show up in our hearts with others. This is especially true when we are able to begin practicing forgiveness towards ourselves, and consciously shift out of a place of judgement and either/or thinking to engage with each other just as we are, instead of how we wish each other to be.
Forging Community, Decentering, and Building Heart-Centered Alliances
Week Five Self-Study
When we have acquired the tools to self soothe and navigate the energetics of our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits with ease and skill, we are able to begin stepping out of illusion, which are the Ego fantasies and depictions we have placed on ourselves and each other. This is also where the delicate dance of building heart based alliances Inunfolds.building heart based communities, it’s vital that we remember that community is a verb. It is a practice that requires commitment, consciousness, integrity, and skill. It is full of unknowns, discomfort, and power dynamics that must be navigated with great care. It is imperative that we continue to decenter our own way of being, knowing, and doing in this equation, so that we do not project onto others our own insecurities and wounds, and so that we do not make assumptions about where we each are coming from, what experiences we have had, or what we believe to be true. It is also vital to remember that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Love is always the truth of who we are, and when we can drop into our hearts and remember that, we are able to hold the vision of each other’s most authentic soul expression, and remind each other when we have forgotten from a grounded, clear
When we begin to release our attachments to people and situations being a certain way, we also release ourselves from expectations that are bound to set us up for disappointment. This is the basis of compassionate community the ability to hold space for others to show up in their wholeness, and to welcome all parts of ourselves to the table. And in this space is where we can truly begin!
perspective of the what is. Even when that means engaging in challenging, uncomfortable conversations and navigating uneven power relations and histories. As we engage in this heart centered practice of community, we remember that people ourselves and each other are not the problem. We are each beautiful, multifaceted ecosystems with our own layers of conditioning, grooming, needs, belief systems, and complexity. Problems are what present themselves in the spaces between our fields, in relationship with each other. When we meet each other in our hearts, that space can also present us with the solution.
Vocabulary: • Radical Acceptance Sacred Heart Cave Practice • Tonglen Practice
We suffer any time we cannot fully accept what is. When we can bring ourselves to a state of acceptance for whatever is presenting, we surrender into the moment and allow ourselves to receive the full teaching available to us in whatever situation is unfolding.
Readings: • “Playfulness, ‘World’ Traveling, and Loving Perception, María Lugones
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• “Right and Responsibilities: Embracing the Balance” and “Decolonizing,” excerpts from Sheri Mitchell’s Sacred Instructions
Concepts: RadicalAcceptance:
Practicing Radical Acceptance is not the same as acquiescence. Acquiescence is passive and comes from a place of path of least resistance. It often stems from fear and not being able to come to a full understanding of a situation. In contrast, Radical Acceptance looks directly at a situation
• “The Pain of Belonging,” by Frances S. Lee, Toward an Ethics of Activism, ed. Frances S. Lee
• “Radical Change, The Quiet Way,” Debra E. Myerson
• Are there any fear responses activated around this person/situation that are not allowing me to take in the full picture?
• Where does this resistance stem from?
Tonglen is a Buddhist practice and an exercise in expanding the capacity of the heart to love. Tonglen consists of trying on the suffering of those around us in our heart space, moving from people whom we easily hold personal love for out to people and situations that are increasingly difficult for us to accept and send love to. This is a multi step, organically unfolding practice that need not be rushed.
Practices: RadicalAcceptance:
to understand the full what is with clarity and courage. We might not like what we see, but bringing ourselves to a place of accepting the situation unfolding is a vital step in making a conscious choice about how to respond to it from a place of love.
This cave is a safe meditative space that allows you to connect with your true authentic self. It is a safe haven within yourself that allows you to get still and quiet and meet yourself with love. As we strengthen the vibration of the heart, we begin to shift from an ego, mind driven approach to life to a spiritual, soul based approach. You can access the Sacred Heart Cave by dropping into the Hrit Padma Chakra (“heart lotus”) just behind the Heart Chakra and slightly down to the right. It is located in the two inches between the Heart Chakra and the spinal column.
The practice of Radical Acceptance can be carried out by utilizing several of the tools from earlier weeks alongside of each other. Radical Acceptance can be practiced any time you are having trouble getting yourself to see 360 degrees around a situation you do not want to see. Some questions to ask yourself are:
SacredHeartCave:
• What am I not wanting to acceptance about this person/situation?
TonglenPractice:
• Is there any entitlement at work that is not allowing me to see this situation clearly?
• Allow your Shadow Self and ask what it needs to feel safe and worthy to come out of hiding. Practice sending it love and compassion while being held in your heart space.
• Am I employing binary thinking (good/bad, black/white, either/or) around this person/situation? If so, why?
• Am I resisting seeing the full situation out of a desire to protect myself or someone else?
• How is this person/situation interfacing with my worldview, identities, belief systems, and patterns?
SacredHeartCave:
Spend time dropping into your Heart Cave. As you are here work on visualizing your Sacred Heart Cave. This cave is a safe meditative space that allows you to connect with your true authentic self. It is a safe haven within yourself that allows you to get still and quiet and meet yourself with love. As we strengthen the vibration of the heart, we begin to shift from an ego, mind driven approach to life to a spiritual, soul based approach.
• Invite in all of your younger selves still in need of healing and ask them what they need.
• Call in your Ancestors. Talk with them. Witness them. Honor them. Send them gratitude for allowing you safe passage into this realm. Ask what they still need.
• Connect with your Higher Self. Ask your Higher Self for guidance.
1. Drop in to your Sacred Heart Cave. Envision yourself sitting with your Higher Self and connect with the Violet Flame (Soul Flame) to use as
TonglenPractice:Tonglen is a Tibetan word that translates as “giving and receiving.” This Buddhist practice is an invitation to expand our heart, remove any lingering Heart Shields, offer other people energetic support for their pain and suffering, and deepen our capacity to love.
• Am I afraid of what I will learn about myself or another person by fully accepting the totality of this situation? If so, what is guiding this fear?
7. For the sixth round, bring up a younger self whom you have a hard time forgiving. Imagine them sitting in front of you and taking on their pain and suffering as if they are a 3rd party. Repeat the practice as above.
5. For the fourth round, imagine a perceived enemy or someone who you find yourself having hatred, or other strong emotions for. This could be someone in your personal life, or a figure on the public stage. Repeat the practice as above.
2. For the first round, imagine yourself sitting across from someone you care deeply about who is going through a hard time. Try on their situation as if it is your own. Do not turn away from their pain. Lean into it. Really try it on. On your inhale, imagine sucking in all of their pain and suffering from their field, like a dark cloud or low vibrational energy, and willingly take it into your lungs and heart, down into your Sacred Heart Cave. Place the pain and suffering in the Violet Flame here in your cave to be transmuted and cleared. On your exhale, send out love, serenity, peace, ease, joy to the person in front of you. Encase them in the Violet Flame.
4. For the third round, imagine a Master Teacher in front of you. Someone for whom it is difficult for you to empathize with. Repeat the practice as above.
3. For the second round, imagine an acquaintance in front of you. Someone who is farther away from you and whom you feel neutral about. Repeat the practice as above.
a resource to transmute the pain and suffering of those you will be working with.
6. For the fifth round, bring up a current event or social situation on the collective level that is in need of healing. Bring it up in your field and try on the pain and suffering for the collective. Repeat the practice as above.