NEW YEAR, SAME ME

As the sun sets and concludes the final chapter of 2021, and dawn ushers in the first moments of 2022, there is one emotion uniquely felt amongst the vast majority of humans who are consciously aware of the concept of a new year, and that is hope.

Many cultures celebrate the new year with all sorts of excessive parties. Although Covid-19 put a stop to the massive festivals, it did nothing to the smaller and individual celebrations throughout the globe. There is something very appealing about starting a new chapter and many turn this new page with positivity, and indeed, hope. Hope for a better year. Hope for a better life, a new job, a proposal, a baby, a new car, etc.

Hope is fresh. Hope is exciting.

The new year brings feelings of starting over, forgetting the heartache and the stress of the previous year, and the prospect of being a brand-new version of yourself. New year’s resolutions are thrown about as we promise each other, but more importantly, ourselves that this year, we WILL do better. We WILL go to the gym, we WILL lose 6 kilograms, we WILL work harder, we WILL stop gossiping, we WILL make more money. And how wonderful it is to set such positive and high goals and standards for ourselves! How wonderful that once a year we check in with ourselves, identify what went wrong and what was not achieved, and reset, wind back the fishing reel, aim again, and cast ourselves far and deep, with renewed hope that this year, THIS YEAR, is our year. “365 new days. 365 new opportunities.”

Alas, it does not usually work out this way, does it? The 1st of January is a day quite similar to the 31st of December, scientifically speaking. Human beings classified time and according to our calendars, this signifies the new year and we plan our entire lives around this concept.

The idea of something new is enticing and we desperately want to keep up with the times, so we cling to the new year in a frantic attempt to not be left behind, and as a result, we make these resolutions without any consideration or logic to what we have just proclaimed. And more often than not, we fail. We do not achieve said resolutions, with many of these goals being abandoned early on already.

Yet, come the eve and end of 2022, we will start sprouting up our usual nonsense, with 365 days having passed without us learning a thing.

Why do we put an unrealistic amount of pressure on ourselves to attain these wild goals? There are no fixed rules that a new year means new promises, yet we do it anyway.

Goals are not simply wishes upon stars. Goals are only achieved when supported by hard work. There should be a small amount of logic and planning attributed to each resolution so boldly proclaimed. This does not mean not to dream big, but rather – plan to achieve your success instead of simply stating something you would like to do in your life.

How, though?

A popular approach used to attain goals is a friendly acronym known as SMART. S – Specific, M – Measurable, A – Achievable, R – Relevant, T – Time-bound.

Specific goals mean to set a target and not allow yourself to fall into the trap of choosing a general goal. Try “I will greet everyone with a smile” as opposed to “I will try to be nicer to people”. General goals allow too much room to be questioned and compromised.

Measurable simply means to quantify or suggest an indicator of your progress. Perhaps, instead of saying “Go to the gym more”, rather say “Go to the gym twice a week”. Quantifying a goal is also helpful, as there is a difference between “Eat more vegetables” and “Eat 300 grams of vegetables a day”, and as soon as a number or a quantifiable amount is included, you will be able to either attain it, or not, and if not, it is easier to assess and try again.

Achievable – this is a difficult term for the dreamers out there. Yes, of course, reach for the stars in all you do, but set a goal for yourself that you are physically and mentally able to achieve. Will you be able to go from never exercising to running every single day? Maybe. But also, maybe not. Look at yourself and where you are starting from. You can always upgrade your goals later.

Realistic goals mean that you will need to use the stricter version of yourself and decide if a goal is realistic to YOU and your lifestyle. It is a wonderful idea to hit the gym 5 times a week, but are you possibly a very busy mom who needs to feed, bath, and care for 3 children? Do you work 10 hours a day and often travel for work? Is this goal realistic for you as an individual? Have a look at food goals. Perhaps you have decided to eat a little less meat and a bit more vegetables. Where do you live in the world? Are you able to buy a variety of fresh vegetables? Can you afford it? Are you physically able to only consume vegetables without the protein source from meat? Goals are extremely personal and therefore must be considered by you and you alone.

Time-bound goals. In all honesty, you probably will not lose 20 kilos by January, or be able to do 50 push-ups by March. You might not have saved up enough for your new car by June. Time is so important and there is absolutely no need for us to squeeze in our goals to achieve them as fast as possible. Assess the goal, speak to professionals, and speak to your friends. What is a fair amount of time for you to achieve this goal?

In fact, time-bound also means that you do not HAVE TO make goals for yourself once a year. What about a mid-year resolution? What about a monthly resolution? Or what about day-to-day resolutions? Your life is personal, your choices are intimate. You can set goals for yourself whenever you want to. If your goal is to just get out of bed in the morning – then go for it.

The important thing to remember is that your goals are about YOU. You do not have to feel pressure or disdain at not achieving them. Try again. Wake up tomorrow and try again. You are a human being and the complexity of that is enormous. Be kind and patient with yourself while also striving to be better and stronger. And when you finally, finally reach your goal – no matter how small – you go ahead and be proud.

You are capable. You can do it.

Daniela Steenkamp