Judy Shepard

GAYLE M. IRWIN

For the Star-Tribune A fter the death of her son Matt in 1998, Judy Shepard discovered traits within herself she didn’t realize she had. “I was one (ticked) o mom. I am by nature an extreme introvert, and I learned how to overcome that,” she said.

On Oct. 7, 1998, University of Wyoming student Matthew Shepard was pistol-whipped, tied to a fence post outside of Laramie and left to die. Although found nearly 18 hours later and rushed to a Colorado hospital, Matt died from the beating. He was 21 years old and openly gay. The two men who killed him are serving two consecutive life sentences for kidnapping and murder.

From their personal tragic loss and amid their grief, Judy and her husband Dennis started the Matthew Shepard Foundation in December 1998. The organization’s mission is to inspire individuals, organizations and communities to embrace the dignity and equality of all people, especially the LGBTQ community. The Shepards and foundation sta helped pioneer America’s first federal hate crimes legislation through the passage of the 2009 Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. Additionally, they have spoken at events and conducted trainings for law enforcement o cers and prosecutors, and a play called “The Laramie Project” has inspired other artistic projects, impacting many. Judy started as executive director and now serves as president of the board, stepping aside for younger people to steer the ship.

This is not a road Judy wanted to walk, but the journey has given the self-proclaimed introvert a platform for an important issue: the battle against hatred and violence, something still relevant more than two decades later.

“Matt’s story resonated with a lot of people, inside the gay community and outside the gay community,” Judy said. “They were interested in that story, and so we just kept telling it.”

More than 20 years later, people are still listening because the story is still relevant.

“Matt’s story continues to be shared through the generations,” she said. “It’s not just about Matt the person; it’s the story of hatred and di erences. If you take out Matt’s sexuality and replace it with race or religion — it’s the same story.”

Battling grief with a fighting spirit

Fortitude key to Judy Shepard’s e orts to advance LGBTQ rights

FILE, STAR-TRIBUNE Judy and Dennis Shepard of Casper, pictured Saturday, Sept. 29, 2018, are Matthew Shepard’s parents. The foundation they formed in his honor has become a leading advocate for LGBTQ rights.

However, pushback, especially immediately after Matt’s death, was strong. During the funeral, members of the Westboro Baptist Church held signs with homophobic slurs and shouted at those who gathered.

She credits tenacity and another important aspect to her life for that fortitude.

“I had advocates who became friends, who helped me realize my own strengths and my own weaknesses,” she said. “They helped me grow.”

Judy is a Wyoming native. Her grandparents homesteaded in the Glenrock area, and she grew up and graduated high school there. She met Dennis while both attended the University of Wyoming; they have been married nearly 47 years. They were in Saudi Arabia when Matt was attacked. Dennis returned there to work, and Judy set upon her new endeavor: keeping her son’s memory alive and looking to change life for the LGBTQ community.

“I had no reason to be home. I could spend all the time I needed on the road, which is exactly what I did,” she said. “I met people who could help me move forward. As a family, we decided we owed it to Matt to help his peers and friends progress in the gay community, legally and in acceptance, equality and equity, in the country and the world.”

She met helpful people along the way, people she said she respects, including the late Sen. Ted Kennedy and the late Sen. John Lewis.

“I had the great privilege of working with Sen. Ted Kennedy on the hate crime legislation — he was wonderful,” she said. “John Lewis is a person I look up to from the civil rights era. As I was growing up, he was making his mark.”

Being “a product of the ‘60s,” as she termed her life, she looked up to people like the Kennedys and Lewis. However, she also carried stigmas from previous decades, barriers she had to hurdle after forming the foundation.

“As a woman of a certain generation, little girls are taught to be seen and not heard. You have to overcome that, so I learned how to do that,” she said. “I learned how to trust my instinct and that my opinion mattered — well, it mattered to me, and I’d share it whether somebody liked it or not. I wouldn’t have done that before.”

No matter the era or issue, whether 1920s women’s su rage, 1960s Black civil rights or 1990s LGBTQ equality, advocates can right a wrong, but they need specific attributes, Judy said.

“People wonder how they can make a di erence. You don’t have to be part of a big organization — you just have to share your story,” she said. “You do have to believe in yourself. You need to have self-confidence and self-respect. You have to like yourself before you can step out into the world and have a voice that people will listen to.”

Kindness and respect are two elements society appears to be liquidating but are traits which are needed for a better world, she added.

“We could accomplish so much if we were just kind. Take some time to listen — your voice is never the most important one in the room,” she said. “Treat others as you want to be treated. It never takes extra e ort to be kind. You can’t tell just by looking at someone what they’re going through in their private life. They might be su ering from something you have no idea about. Even if they’re not (kind), it doesn’t hurt you to try. We’d be in a much better world if we just tried.”