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College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

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Issue 10 | Volume 22 | 2nd April 2009

Traveller site for University Roebuck

Lockdown

""#"""Jennifer Bray Hundreds of students ditched their lectures this week to take part in Monday’s ‘education lockdown’. The college shutdown was in response to the proposed re-introduction of fees which will go before the cabinet in the next few weeks.

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NEWS

SPORTS

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Eviction after ‘pool party’ in SU presidentelect’s res

Traveller Halting site for Roebuck

Exclusive interview with Ray Houghton

Over 400 students attended the lakeside rally, in which they were addressed by USI President Shane Kelly and SIPTU member Kieran Allen. UCD Students’ Union Campaigns and Communications Officer Dan O’Neill and President Aodhán Ó Deá also spoke on the issue of fees. The Administration Block was hastily locked up and secured as the group marched and chanted towards the building. Pic : Philip Connolly

ALSO Faustus !"Turbine !

!"Down the Line

College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

News News

10 years in the making

Tribune Reports: Halting site through the years

The UCD Halting Site

Cathy Buckmaster A halting site is now officially in the works for a site adjacent to Roebuck in UCD. The Belfield halting site issue has been an ongoing dilemma for over ten years but now once again, UCD appears to be considering putting this plan into action. Local Councillor Gearoid O’Keeffe commented, “I have been monitoring halting site proposals within UCD for a number of years. “The college and developers are anxious to get planning permission to develop this project for 200 plus residential units and offices and in order to satisfy their social and affordable obligations want to secure an alternative site away from this development.” “They favour Roebuck Road, next to Foster Motors or Fosters Avenue. I believe that their twenty percent obligation should be satisfied from within the development; this could provide 30 to 40 residential units for local single people and fami

College Tribune LG 18, Newman Building (Arts Block) or Box 74, Student Centre, UCD Email: collegetribune@gmail.com Tel: 01 716 8501 Editor Deputy Editor Sports Editor Music Editor Health & Fashion Editor Features Editor

Jennifer Bray Cathy Buckmaster Jordan Daly Sebastian Clare Aoife Ryan Philip Connolly Charles O’Donnell Jennifer Bray Kevin Doyle

lies,” he said. As for who is behind these proposals, O’Keefe says“A lot will depend on whether planning permission is secured. I would not expect any agreement on a site for at least two years, however, the Labour Party in particular are pushing it.” A report into the halting site, entitled the Tiros Report was reccently submitted by the university, despite a lack of consultation with students on whether or not they agreed with the idea of a halting site on campus. “The Tiros Report is flawed and UCD who paid for it got the result they wanted. Students and residents were not consulted. Mr Brady is putting big business ahead of the views and concerns of residents, either internally or externally. I believe that college students should be consulted; do they favour such a proposal and do they favour a housing or halting site solution?” said O’Keeffe. A spokesperson for UCD stated, “The issue dates back almost 20 years when the university agreed with Dun Laoghaire Rathdown County Council to allocate a site for use by the Council for traveller, community, or social need in the vicinity of Foster’s Avenue. “About five years ago, at the request of the Council, the university contracted an independent planner to consider all possible sites on the Belfield campus and the site on the top of Foster’s Avenue was again considered to be the most appropriate for this purpose. At present, there is no timescale for this.” Aodhán Ó Deá, president of the Student’s Union displayed the SU’s lack of awareness on the topic; “We are unaware of such a proposal.”

Contributors Katie Godwin, Eoghan Glynn, Colman Hanley, John Flynn, Kev Doyle, Eoin Boyle, Jessica Whyte, Aoife Smyth, Fiona Redmond, Nicholas Broadstock, Max Harding, Helen O’Sullivan, Faustus, Bryan Fennessey, Ed Scannell, Heather Landy, Roe McDermott, Orla Kenny, Marcus O Laoire, Susanne O’Reilly, Laura Butler, Genivieve Brennan,

Special thanks to... Frank, Huw and Mark at NWM, Amy and Chantal at Universal, Danielle, Colm and Rory at MCD, Patrick Stewart at the IFI, David Cadden at the Abbey, Eva at Red Lion, Joseph and Sharon Bray, Sarah Furlong. Design Concept: Simon Ward

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College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

News

No more contraception as Health Centre suffers !"Cathy Buckmaster Contraceptive appointments are no longer available for students this year due to funding cutbacks. Dr. Sandra Tighe of the student health centre expressed her disappointment concerning the subject. “It’s extremely tough; we don’t like to turn people away but we’re trying to make extremely difficult decisions here. “We’ve decided to try and prioritise for students who are sick. We put special contraceptive clinics on with nurses to try to maximise appointments for students who are sick but those appointments were booked up two months ahead. Then I was very concerned that we would not have enough available staff. It’s just an extremely difficult situation.” Tighe also explains the circumstances that have led to their decision to eliminate any more contraceptive appointments. “It’s because of cutbacks and because we want to prioritise having slots for students who are sick. We have no contraceptive appointments left and we’re very overwhelmed at the minute in general. “As well however, there’s a half time nurse gone; that’s since Brenda Lenihan retired at the end of October. We can’t appoint another half time nurse because of budgetary cutbacks.” She also discusses the strain this has put on the health centre as a result of

Chicken fillet Baguette Crown Topper final.pdf 17/10/2008 10:38:15

CMY

the cutbacks. “We are under serious pressure. There’s increased demand on the service anyway because there’s less money around and people in general are less well off so there are reduced resources. However, it doesn’t look like the resource situation is going to improve.” Tighe apologises to students for this outcome but explains it is out of their control. “We would like to apologise to the students; it’s not a situation we want to be in but in terms of prioritising our limited resources, we can’t do anything. I want to make clear it’s not what we want to do. “We will have some contraceptive slots available but there’s no way we can reach the demand. Something has to go and it’s better this way because at least people can plan for that as opposed to someone who gets sick and can’t afford to see a doctor. “It’s not that were refusing to prescribe contraceptives; if we could turn around and make these appointments, we could be filled up with contraception appointments and then where would sick students get? So it’s just a matter of trying to prioritise in a very difficult situation.” Joan, a second year Arts student, spoke about her disappointment concerning the cancellation of the contraceptive appointments. “It’s really expensive without these appointments

available. I had to pay 70 Euro to see another doctor. Because you need a prescription every six months, it works out to be 25 Euro a month which I just can’t afford.” “I don’t think it’s fair either that it only affects girls. It is hugely inconvenient for me and I think the services of the Health Centre are important for students, so slashing their funds isn’t acceptable.” Explaining the current predicament of the health centre, Tighe states “We’ve certainly suffered significantly. A loss of a half time nurse is a big loss. So anytime someone is doing anything else or is away, I can’t replace them. “I’ve done my best. We’ve raised the issue with the board, but there just doesn’t appear to be any available funds. If we had funds available, increasing administrative support and replacing the nurse would be priority.” President of the Students’ Union, Aodhán Ó Deá also commented on the subject stating the Union’s lack of awareness on the matter. “This issue has only been brought to our attention recently and we are working on it. “I understand the Student Health Centre is under tight budget constraints but this situation is obviously not acceptableas provision of contraception is a vital service.”

College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

News News

They’re coming...

UCD Student in local elections

#"Katie Godwin UCD student residences will undergo a TV-licence spot-check in the coming months according to a spokesperson from An Post. The exact date of the investigation could not be revealed however the spokesperson advises students to act immediately as it is likely to occur this April. Students without a licence are liable to be fined up to 2000 euro and/or face a court appearance. To avoid inconvenience, students are advised to purchase a TV licence as soon as possible. The licence costs 160 euro and can be paid for online at www.tvlicence. ie. However many students cannot afford the licence and they feel it is too expensive. Sinead Barret, a first year resident in Belgrove residences spoke to the Tribune

#"Jennifer Bray on the matter “It’s definitely too dear for students, I know I wouldn’t be able to afford it and there are a few of my friends who might get caught.” According to inspectors who check for the licenses, these are the most used student excuses: !"I thought my parents’ TV Licence would cover me !"I haven’t got a TV. I watch telly on my laptop !"I’m an A star student. They’re not going to prosecute me !"I didn’t know I needed a TV Licence in a hall of residence !"I live in a shared house. It’s not my TV !"I’ve got a TV Licence. I just can’t find it at the moment.

Cleaning staff halved

PhD student and History tutor Bryce Evans is running as a candidate for the People Before Profit Alliance in the Pembroke-Rathmines ward. He is the only UCD student to be running in the local elections on June 5th. “If students vote for me they are voting for a fellow student who understands their issues. There needs to be a young, left-wing voice on Dublin City Council,” he says. Evans’s rival is graduate Garret Tubridy (FF), brother of chat show host Ryan. Asked to comment on Tubridy, Evans said “he has no policies and no ideas but he will always have those Tubridy looks, I suppose’.

News in Brief UCD, Trinity research merge

#"Tribune Reporter !"College hygeine standards to ‘drop’ Half of UCD’s cleaning staff are set to be let go, it is now claimed. The cleaning company contracted by UCD, ISS, have been warned of cutback proposals by the university authorities. These were confirmed in a m–eeting on Monday 23rd March in the Newman building which was attended by all ISS staff in UCD. A number of changes were proposed, including the change of cleaning hours. At present most of the buildings in UCD are cleaned from 5am until 8am in the morning. UCD has suggested that this be changed to evenings, from 5pm to 9pm. The college authorities have stressed that only

Students occupy Transport Department

those willing to do this will keep their jobs. It is thought that they are expecting to cut half of the number of current cleaning staff this way. “This could be really bad for the college and it’s hygiene standard, the place would be a mess”, one ISS worker commmented. “And many of the ISS staff depend on their jobs.” According to a spokesperson for the college, the reason for the job losses is due to contractual matters as opposed to explicit cuts. “The cleaning contract was tendered in 2006 for a period of three years and there has been no change to the tender arrangements.”

News recently emerged concerning the research merger which has been arranged between Ireland’s top two universities, UCD and TCD. The merger will allow postgraduate students to take modules and study at the two universities and will almost certainly raise UCD’s stock and world rankings. The TCD / UCD Innovation Alliance is a fundamental partnership which will work with the state and the education sector, and the business and venture capital communities to create a world-class ecosystem for innovation that will drive enterprise development and the creation of sustainable high value jobs. The joint effort hopes to generate up to 300 companies and possibly thousands of jobs in ten years.

A group of students last week staged an occupation of the Department of the Transport in protest to the increasing likelihood of the re-introduction of fees. Approxiamtely thirty students entered the building and proceeded to preacefully protest on the issue. According to UCD Students’ Union president Aodhán Ó Deá, the occupation took place as a continuation of USIs programme of direct action. “UCDSU supported the occupation and sent approximately 25 students along on the day. It is understood that a large number of gardaí entered the building shortly before 2pm and the occupation ended peacefully just after four O’Clock. “The protest took place to show the Minister for Education that we will not back down and continue to do

whatever it takkes to stop any form of fees being introduced,” said O Deá. USI will soon unveil its plans to mobilise the votes of Ireland’s 200,000 students to vote against parties that support fees in the upcoming Local elections and in particular the Dublin South By-election.

UCD applies for ‘Charles Institute’ #"Jennifer Bray A planning application has been submitted by the college to build what is known as the ‘Charles Institute’, a postgraduate research centre. According to a spokesperson for the college, “It is dedicated to research in skin conditions and the training of health professionals in dermatology. The Charles Institute is largely funded fromthe Board of the City of Dublin Skin and Cancer Hospital from the sale ofthe Hume Street Hospital site, with other funding from the university” The site is generally located between the Conway Institute on its east and the Health Sciences Building to the South. The development will consist of a new 4 storey over ground research facility comprising laboratory facilities, conference rooms, meeting facilities,

Site: For yet another institute

communal informal meeting areas, learning areas and toilet areas. Ancillary storage areas, plant areas and shower facilities shall also be located at ground floor level. It is understood that the link to the Health Sciences Building incorporates re-modelling of the existing O’Briens cafe facility at ground floor level. The development will also include reinstatement of existing site structures, provision of cycle parking areas and site lighting.

O’Briens Irish Sandwhich Bars, UCD Offer you the chance to win two tickets to Bruce Sprinsteen RDS 11th July, 2009 To enter the draw, write your name and mobile number on the back of your receipt and place the entry box provided in either of the Health Science or Architecture sandwhich bars. The closing date for entries is 6pm, Friday 1st May 2009. The draw will take place the week of 4th of May 2009. The winner will be notified by phone. The winners name will be displayed in both sandwhich bars for one week. Please note these are seated tickets in Anglesea Stand. PS Why not try our new range of hot meals sold in microwavable container. They can be purchased cold and heated in the evening. You could also try our new range of eclairs and custard slice.

College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

News

Presidential pool party in res results in eviction !!"!Katie Godwin !!#!Indoor sand filled and paddle pool party on res !!#!Incoming president denies knowledge of event Reports of a scandalous ‘pool party’ incident in campus apartment of incoming SU president Gary Redmond have this week been confirmed. “I wasn’t at the party because it took place on the second day of polling of the sabbatical elections so I obviously wasn’t aware of what was going on”, said Redmond. The College Tribune understands that the apartment and the halls outside were decorated as such to resemble a beach, including sand on the floors, paddling pools and plastic sheeting down staircases. According to a spokesperson for UCD, “An incident involving a breach of the accommodation regulations did occur. As is normal procedure, this was treated under the breaches of residential rules. The matter has been concluded.” One resident on the Roebuck campus who witnesseed the party and wishes

to remain anonymous paints a picture of the scene. “The apartment was cov ered in sand, paddling pools and shells and crabs from the beach and plastic sheeting covered in water for sliding down the hall”. The source said that the party seemed to have been meticulously and strategically set up. “It looked pretty impressive, they certainly spent plenty of cash on it, put in a lot of time and effort, he (a flatmate of Redmond’s) knew perfectly well he was going to get kicked out before he even threw the party. Some of his housemates didn’t even know about the thing until a day or two before when neighbours were like ‘ooh, can’t wait for your pool party!’”. The party spiralled out of control according to the resident, when some students “ripped the fire alarms out of the ceiling.” Redmond refused to make any com

Mob of youths wreak havoc on campus

Pool Party: Not the actual party, and not Gary Redmond who wasn’t there.

Centra

For the way we live today

!"!Tribune Reporter

O’Briens food outlet on campus is the most recent area on campus to be targeted by what is understood to be a group of youths. Approximately sixty teenagers were disturbed by the inturder alarm in the sandwhich bar upon entering, alerting UCD staff. The group quickly made their exit, having only the chance to steal a few loaves of bread and bottles of fizzy drinks. About sixty teens were persued across campus by UCD security Unicare. However, due to the large amount of youths they could not be apprehended. At one stage the mob turned on Unicare and threw stones. They were caught on CCTV, but they cannot be identified. It is believed that these youths have been causing disturbances across campus for a number of weeks, including the theft of bicycles. Bike theft is a prominent issue on campus, with sources last year from within services revealing that up to four bikes a day are stolen in UCD. One youth was arrested in January after being apprehended by gardai on suspicion of bike theft. The juvenile was later released without charge with a file pending for the Director of Public Prosections. This incident was the first of at last two in the New Year reported to

ment about the reckless behaviour of his housemates when queried. However current president Aodhán Ó Deá expressed his disgust “It is a disappointment that any student would interfere with fire safety equipment. I am unaware of the specific details of the damage caused.” The party was soon brought to a halt at an early hour by on-duty RAs. The resident further states, “it was closed down pretty early, before eleven anyway, the RAs were even quite impressed, my cousin’s one of them and he said he thought it was actually kind of cool, he’d never seen anything like it.” The party goers are said to have left the vicinity and headed into town. Reportedly, this “accounts for the guys in flowery shorts causing chaos outside the Button Factory that night.” The individual mainly responsible for the event has allegedly been evicted.

both the university and the guards. Both students and staff have expressed discontent and anger at what has become a regular occurence on the campus, with approximately one third of staff and students cycling to college every day. Estimates from the campus bikeshop show that the figure of those who cycle into UCD could be as high as 8,000. Unicare has before issued advice about safety within the campus. “Firstly use quality bicycle locks and if necessary use two or more locks. Secoondly, lock your bicycle at the designated stands on campus. In order to make your bike a less attractive target for a would be thief, you should make it distinctive in some way, with stickers or something along those lines.” A spokesperson for UCD has previously stated that “ Unfortunately, eery year there are a number of reports of bicycle thefts on campus. In order to eliminate this problem, it is important that every member of the UCD community play their part by remaining vigilant at all times. “Ensure that bicycles are locked through the frame to the stand, a secure lock is used rather than ineffectual locks, and that the stands are used where provided.”

Low prices everyday! Sandwiches from €2.00 Hot 10” pizza €3.99 Coffee/Tea €1 Smoothies from €1.99

College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

News Investigations News

Analysis : Monday’s Education Shutdown Jennifer Bray The referendum for an education shutdown polled an 82 % vote in favour of the event. Given that the extreme majority of students were supportive of the event, it may be a surprise to find on the day itself that lecture theatres were not, for the most part, empty. Some cycnicism pervaded the event as a result, with many pointing to the fact that union officers and anti-fee candidates poured scorn on those in lectures, shouting cries of “breaking the picket line”, and “undermining” a free education for those to come after them. Minister for Education Batt O’Keeffe after months signalling that he is personally in favour of fees has pushed this agenda in more recent times with an increased fervour. His proposals of graduate taxes and loans, or other assortments of fees, are due to come before the cabinet in a short matter of time. One student at the 1pm lake rally, Sharon Darcy, said that she felt “the government is a law unto itself,

and will not listen to protests such as these.” In other words, the fight for free fees is a lost cause. She pointed to the fact only 40 students had so far arrived at the lakeside protest. However, tides do turn and a very short 25 minutes later at least 400 students were responding to the rallying calls of the speakers addressing them. Shane Kelly of the USI asserted that for the first time in weeks, he felt a renewed sense of confidence. Students and staff around him seemed to share this growing confidence, outlining the dangers that the reimplementation of fees could bring in a sensical manner. The indifferent and sometimes sneering manner of the security who manned the event was shaken, as a flit of nervousness crossed each face once students marched towards the administration block. The doors were hastily locked–, the students had their say, and it is estimated in the end, that half of students on campus did indeed close down education for the day.

Student Capital Fund Students are invited to apply now for a grant from the Student Capital Fund. The Capital Fund is a sum of money arising from surplus funds generated in the operation of a number of student facilities – particularly the student bars - and is administered by the Student Consultative Forum. Applicants are not confined to recognised clubs or societies but grants are available strictly for capital projects and not for current funding. (Applications for funding for current expenditure may be considered by the Newman Fund). Recent successful applications have included: !"Furniture for the student area in the Agriculture Building !"Equipment for Sports Clubs !"Replacement computers for student media !"Disability access facilities

All applications or queries can be emailed to: Elizabeth.cronin@ucd.ie or sent by post to the Forum office, Student Centre, UCD, to arrive not later than Friday, 3 April 2009, 5pm.

College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

News

Lakeside Rally: What was said Kieran Allen : SIPTU “Do not think if fees come in, there will be a blanket fee. You may very well find that courses will be divided up into marketability, with some costing more than others. Something which benefits society so much should be free. Some people in the 60’s thought we were mad to get rid of fees for second level. We are still as sane now as we were then.”

Shane Kelly, USI President “The average cost of going to college now is €40,000. It is put out there by your president Hugh Brady and ny the Minister for Education Batt O’Keeffe that you have a free education. You don’t. O’Keeffe and people like him want to bring this up

to €70,000. I Don’t have that kind of money and I’m pretty sure you don’t either. The minister is starting to feel the pressure, and right now I am more confident of this cause than I was six weeks ago, or seven weeks ago. We can stop the re-introduction of fees.”

Dan O’Neill Campaigns/Communications This education lockdown, in my opinion, has been a success. It has received very positive media coverage. We are sending a very stong message to the government. This university and other universities need to create more of a culture of awareness. We need to stop the cycnicism and selfishness, look into the future and see that this cause is an important one. The government has been warned.

Scéim Chónaithe Ghaeilge Bhord na Gaeilge UCD 2009/2010 www.ucd.ie/bnag

‘Teach na Gaeilge UCD’ Ionad Cónaithe Gaeilge ar Champas Belfield Scoláireachtaí ar fáil do 24 mac léinn don bhliain 2009-2010 Comórtas oscailte do mhic léinn as gach cúrsa de chuid na hOllscoile Foirm iarratais ar fáil ar: www.ucd.ie/bnag

Bronnfar scoláireachtaí ar fiú 40% den chíos iad, ar iarrthóirí a bhfuil ríspéis acu i gcur chun cinn na teanga agus a chruthaíonn cumas láidir gníomhaíochta

TUILLEADH EOLAIS Clár Ní Bhuachalla, Oifigeach Gaeilge, Bord na Gaeilge UCD, D213, Áras Newman, An Coláiste Ollscoile, Baile Átha Cliath, Belfield, Baile Átha Cliath 4 Guthán: 01-716-8208 Ríomhphost: oifigeach.gaeilge@ucd.ie Idirlíon: www.ucd.ie/bnag

www.ucd.ie/bnag

College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

News

Opinion

FAUSTUS Back Supping with the devils Students, are you confused about what the union is? Who the union are? What the point of life is? Faustus is here to explain the puzzling events of the last month. The stench of hackery is so pervasive, Faustus has been forced to flee from the scummy lairs of this cesspit to seek the solace of clean air. Every haunt of and crevice of the campus is being inhabited by those deathly unionites. Before giving you the low-down on who will be running your ‘union’ next year, let’s give both a brief summary and description of those cretins you rightly haven’t bothered to think about. Starting with the most conceited and sleazy, of course, el presidente. Aodhan O Whatever , or Barry O’Dea as some students answered in this highly-esteemed publication’s last survey, has shown that he is capable of great student advancements. Fees are coming in,

50,000 grand couches are being torn apart, half of Wexford is in tatters, and sympathy of sympathies, the only people who know him are the people he pays to be his ‘friend’. Spending a suspicious amount of time drinking tea or in tea related discussion, this president has been almost as successful as every other. Fees O’Neill is that guy you often see wandering through campus with a megaphone, leaflets, bloodshot eyes and a gaggle of other nameless political wannabes. Salad Fingers, or Conor Fingelton, a nice guy we’re sure. Faustus says this because Salad Fingers has never been seen this year. Lynam was his polar opposite. Hanging around student politics for years, and that’s not going to change. See you next year Lienam. And next year’s president. Gary Redmond. Faustus wishes those who voted for this Fianna Fail Arklow miscreant the best of luck next year. I’ll leave you with a pic of your elected Fee Fianna Fail President Elect.

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This is a full-time and extremely demanding job, which requires the publication of 10-12 issues of the College Tribune during the academic year. This involves highly unsociable hours under a pressurised environment. The candidate should have experience in journalism as well as being a highly motivated and conscientious individual. External applications outside of current College Tribune staff are encouraged.

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College Tribune | April 2nd 2009

Editorial

The letters published may or may not be the views of the College Tribune

College Tribune

This week on campus... Dear Madam, I am writing the words you are reading to express disgust at the reporting in last week’s University Observer. As you may know they ran a story on the front page about the referendum that will be held with regards the Coca-Cola boycott currently in place in the shops run by the Student’s Union. What they didn’t report on was anything else really. They did not tell us who the group of students who lobbied for this may have been or what their interests were, this I think being a highly suspicious thing to lobby for because one might ask, “who gets so worked up about large multinationals being mistreated by uppity students?”. One day will we all recite “First they came for the massive multi-national corporations, but I didn’t speak

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up, because I wasn’t a massive multi-national corporation?” The article quotes from an unnamed spokesman for the group (potential affiliation with cococola unspecified) about a report by the ILO, and this is the truly bad reporting so I would like to dwell on this point slightly. It quotes: “The International Labour Organisation released a report in October saying CocaCola work practices in Columbia were of a high standard and those allegations, as far as they were concerned, weren’t true. If one was to present those findings to the students, I am confident they would see sense and see that the boycott isn’t necessary.” Now, if one were to bother to look up this report one would find that this is a dreadful misrepresentation of the ILO report who’s aims were never to

investigate past abuses by the company and while the report is positive in a way of the current conditions its conclusions about unionisation and the incentives offered by the company to not unionise and discrimination in negotiations against those who do are largely of a condemnatory nature. It would not appear from reading the two articles in last week’s observer that either writer had looked at the report or even checked its existence, being content to quote someone practically anonymous. For those interested the report may be found here: http://www. ilo.org/public/english/dialogue/ sector/papers/food/mission.pdf

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EDITORIAL

Free fees are not a lost cause It’s a common known fact, University College Dublin has a student population of around 22,000. In a referendum, 82 % of students voted in favour of Monday’s education shutdown. By calculation, this represents a total of 18, 040 students and/or staff who agreed that boycotting classes in favour of direct action against Third Level fees was a legitimate form of action. Was it expected that these 18,040 would turn up at the lake at 1pm to voice their anger? The sensible answer is, of course, no. The student body today has for the most part lived through a time of great economic boom and privilege. Some favour fees as a way out of an economic hole, and some just do not have the passions of those with younger brothers and sisters from families which may or may not be borderline grant/ fee eligibility. The cynicism of some students and staff on Monday was joined by the resignation of others. This kind of sneering scepticism towards a student movement is ill-advised and ultimately aimless. Over 400 students marched towards the administration building with a view for the future. This view does not involve tuition fees. Those who rallied will not be charged tuition fees, having already made a contract with the university. This in itself is admirable, and shakes the stance that says those in third-level will lie down and accept cabinet proposals due to come to light in the next few weeks. The consequences of these actions, and for some, the lack of actions will reveal themselves in due course. Whilst there are those willing to oppose a system which to any analyst’s eye or opinion poll is failing its country there is still the certainty that the fight for free fees is not a lost cause.

College Tribune | 2nd 3rd February 2009 April 2009

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Travel The Land of a thousand Smiles Genevieve Brennan experiences all the exotic highs and dangerous lows that south east asia most popular tourist destination has to offer For many students the duration of the academic year is not spent essay writing or preparing for exams - it is spent planning the approaching summer. From saving for expensive flights to organising accommodation it can be as stressful as many of our college responsibilities. With most college students having three months and upwards off there is no end to the opportunity one can pursue. Increasingly this leads hordes of students from south Dublin to exotic Asia, more specifically Thailand. Young people who tire of home and its western aspects go to Thailand in search of a fresh experience and a culture shock. Stepping off the plane into the humid, bustling and almost disturbing Bangkok, a culture shock is indeed what they get. The journey to Bangkok from Dublin is long and tiring, backpackers flock to the Khao San Road, a famous travellers’ destination. It is noisy and busy; filled with shopping stalls, hostels and massage parlours. Many are disturbed by the seedy nature of certain places in Bangkok, where one cans see live sex shows; Thai prostitutes seem to be everywhere. This city seems to have been corrupted by Western tourists and more importantly the money they bring with them. Many chose to go directly to the islands but this usually depends on the given time restraints. Some travel to Chang Mai in order to do jungle treks where locals bring you on intense ventures into the jungle.

The trip involves staying in villages in the depth of the Thai jungle, fantastic views and elephant riding. Many of the smaller islands provide young people with the escape they are searching for. The scenery resembles postcards and locals can be very welcoming. The white beaches and clear blue water are things many young people have never seen before other than on their televi-

Insects, lizards, bats and frogs can be a huge pest to tourists as they can easily infiltrate poorly constructed huts. However tourists can be amazed by the wild life in Thailand such as the variety of monkeys, sharks and colourful tropical fish. Koh Tao is among the best diving sites in the world and at around €300 is the cheapest place to become qualified as a diving instructor.

sion screens. There are a multitude of trips and adventures one can undertake such as cliff jumping, kayaking, snorkelling and scuba diving. You can also go on one day trips to spectacular nature reserves which are off limits to tourists and locals alike.

Beginners also can learn to dive and avail of the amazing rates. Another quiet island which young people are drawn to are Koh Phi Phi, where the legendary backpacker movie ‘The Beach’ was shot - there are fire shows, where you can jump through hoops

of fire and skip with the rope ablaze, all the activities mentioned above, and incredible beaches. Others venture to surrounding countries such as Laos, Cambodia, Malaysia or Vietnam which all hold various attractions for students. Surprisingly one of the most popular is Laos. The main and some would say only attraction is the 'tubing' which is where young people can jump into rivers and 'tube' down them, stopping in many bars as they float along. Unsurprisingly casualties are common. However there are a great many dangers even if you do chose to merely stay on the main islands trail. Most of the islands, especially the smaller ones have virtually no police force and the few that are present are easily corruptible. Many young males involved in bar fights or who are found with drugs can feel the wrath of the unmonitored police force. If you find yourself in a cell, the best bet is most definitely to try to bribe local police - this effort usually is successful. The larger islands such as Phuket or Koh Samui hold many of the same traits as Bangkok. They have wild night life, pollution, crime and interestingly an increasing number of transsexuals or 'lady boys' who prowl the streets usually in search of Western men. Young people go to these islands stopping over on the way to more desirable places or for the night life and buzzing atmosphere. There is also a wide variety of shopping to be

enjoyed, mostly street markets where locals try to make a living haggling with tourists. These markets however are a haven for pick-pockets and thieves. An island which every young person travelling Thailand will visit is Koh Phangan. This is where the Full Moon Party takes place every month. During the summer months as the full moon approaches the island's accommodation is fully booked out a week in advance. Thousands flock to Had Rin beach for the night where music plays through the dawn into the mid morning. People paint themselves head to toe in luminous U.V paint and drink buckets, literally beach-buckets, of alcohol into the wee hours. This event is famous throughout the travelling world as being one of the wildest parties on the planet. Although there are dangers, young people will continue tosummer. This is due to Thaiwildness ture. This reputation certainly exceeds itself and while young people strive for a place that will broaden their horizons and make a difference in their lives they will continue to go there in search for more. Having spent a summer in Thailand, these students hop on their flights back to normality, back to rain, exams and deadlines. Somehow on that long flight back to the nest the fear and dangers seem to slip away and one is left with remarkable memories of a place that they may never return to but will undoubtedly never forget.

College Tribune | 3rd 2009 2ndFebruary April 2009

Features

Features Victoria Taylor examines the state of sexual health in UCD

Last June an article was published in a national Sunday newspaper with the headline “booze culture turns UCD into sex infection hotspot”. Although sensationalised the article did raise awareness about the high levels of sexual promiscuity and sexually transmitted infections among the students of UCD. So why in the biggest university in the country is there no complete screening for sexually transmitted infections available on campus? According to Sandra Tighe medical director of the UCD Student Health Centre this is due to a lack of resources that UCD just doesn’t have; “A STI clinic must be consultant led and have links with outside clinics and therefore would be expensive to run.” she explains. “There are around 20,000 students in UCD, 10,000 of which are sexually active. Therefore you can imagine the extensive resources that would be needed in order to provide a full STI screening service.” She adds However, full STI screening services are available on campus in Trinity College, DIT and NUI in Galway. SU welfare officer in Galway Michael

Regan recognises the importance of a full STI screening service on campus in a university; “NUI Galway provides full screenings for testing sexually transmitted diseases. There is a health unit on campus and there are full time nurses and GPs available there for students.” “We traditionally have had less resources than other colleges” Dr Tighe explains; “we may be the biggest college in the country but we are not the best resourced. In fact our funding has gone down significantly this year. Therefore STI screening is not top of the list of priorities.” Dr Tighe goes on to explain how Chlamydia screening is available on campus in UCD and also screening for Gonorrhoea which has been introduced in the last six months. There is a lab on campus and the test itself is available to students for ten euro. “Both Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia are two very serious STI’s and therefore have priority in Screening. They are also the most cost effective to test for.” she adds The screening for Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea is an important step for student sexual health in UCD.

But what about the other sexually transmitted diseases as outlined on the UCDSU website? Diseases such as HIV and Aids, genital herpes, genital warts, trichomonas, hepatitis b, nonspecific urethritis and syphilis are still going untested within UCD with students having to go to outside sources for a full STI screening. Within UCD students are referred to the free clinic in St James hospital or to private led clinics for a complete STI testing. “Although the clinic in St James’ is free the private clinics can cost up to 160 euro” says Dr Tighe. The Student Union have tried to find a way around this issue of resources in order to provide STI screenings for students. “We run a subsidised screening service in Morthampton clinic in Donnybrook which is available every Thursday from nine till eleven.” UCDSU Welfare Officer Conor Fingleton explains; “However, only twelve slots are available at a time. At the moment we simply do not have the money to extend this programme to more than once a week or to provide an on-campus service.” Realistically having to journey to an outside location for a STI screening

is a big deterrent for any student who wishes to be tested. The process of getting a screening is not something that a student wants to extend and therefore many students will no doubt go untested as a result. Both UCD health Clinic and UCDSU are excellent at promoting sexual health and providing information for students within UCD. Therefore it is bizarre that when a student asks for a full STI check none are available and they instead have to be referred to a location off campus “Down the line when more resources become available hopefully a full STI clinic will be put in place that will be consultant led.” Says Dr Tighe “However for the foreseeable future the amount of money put into health will not expand therefore we have to make the most of the resources that we have” For a university that the outside media insists on branding as an area of sexual promiscuity with a high level of sexually transmitted infections, surely having a facility for full STI screening on campus should be high on the agenda in regards to student health in UCD.

Opening Hours Opening Hours Monday - Friday 09.30am - 12.30pm 2.00pm-4.30pm Nurses Walk in Service Monday - Friday 9.30am -12.00pm 2.00pm - 3.00pm Extra Clinics In Term Only Appointment Only Mon evening clinc appointments from 5.00-6.30pm ------Tue early morning clinc appointments from 8.30am ------Tues & Thurs early morning clinc appointments from 8.30am

April 2009 College Tribune | 2nd 3rd February 2009 11

Features News

Reach Land

Laura Butler speaks to Keith Wood about the Irish Rugby Teams metoric rise, and the class divide within schools rugby A fortnight ago we were a country suffering a depressive recession. Almost two weeks later and we may still be firmly stuck in this rut of a recession, but all of a sudden it seems to sting much less than before. Bantam Weight World Champion, Six Nations Grand Slam winners! Following the triumphant successes at The Millenium Stadium and The O2 on that memorable weekend that will be recorded in history forever, Irish sport has suddenly drawn increasing attention to itself. Amid a storm of strikes, protests, pay cuts and reduncancy packages, it seems that finally the little leprauchaun with his pot of luck has returned. The former Munster, Ireland and Lions hooker, Mr. Wood rejected the idea of solely rugby schools triumphing, making examples of Mick Galwey and John Hayes who both came from non-rugby playing institutions. ‘Mick Galwey was a phenomenal player of both rugby and Gaelic football; he never went to a rugby-playing school… I agree there is this notion towards some places like Blackrock College, which does seem slightly elitist, it is definitely an affluent school, and we do see a lot of players coming from there, but that’s because they genuinely train like professionals.’ Wood himself never went to a rugby school, and owes his skills and success to his days in Garryowen. ‘If the talent

and ambition is there, it won’t matter where you came from’. He also summarized for me the development hunt in Munster, stating that ‘indeed there is a large dedication to focusing on the non-rugby playing schools. Teams do go out to rural areas to recruit, but like any sport, you are also competing with others, and the likes of the GAA especially, are not fond of these ‘hunters’ venturing to their parts’. When asked about the effects the Grand Slam win can have on the country’s spirits, Keith Wood mentioned that ‘In terms of feel good factor in terms of the recession, I think the Grand slam win can have phenomenal value. ‘They’ can easily overstate that it’s just sport - and essentially that is what it is - but there’s something incredibly positive that even when things are really down at the moment, we have a group of people and a group effectively of leaders, who we can follow, and who have delivered something on the world stage and on the Northern Hemisphere stage. I think that’s immensely exciting in the midst of the negativity of the current climate. And without a shadow of a doubt will it draw more kids into the game’. Saturday 21st at approximately 7pm, Declan Kidney and his team began celebrating with champagne after their first Grand Slam win in 61 years. Answering Ireland’s call, a proud and exhilerated

(if exhausted) ‘BOD’ & Co hoisted the silverware high into the night’s sky. It would arrive back on home soil Sunday morning to adoring family, friends and fans in Dawson Street. Is this the answer we’ve been eagerly awaiting to save us and lift the spirits of the nation? Kidney’s triumph at Cardiff firmly ranks us above France, Argentina, England and Wales on the international stage, and with the upcoming South Africa tour, one wonders how many green shirts will be included in McGeechan’s Lion squad. But looking beyond the win and South Africa, how does this title fit into the greater scheme of things? Whilst having lunch recently, a family friend abruptly declared that he was withdrawing his sixteen-year old son from the local secondary school in Galway and shipping him up to the more favourable potentials of Blackrock College. This alarmed me, as I wondered why on earth would he force his son to leave his friends and home comforts behind to board at a costly institution of over 5,000 a year. Yet, considering the Leinster weight of our green shirts, one cannot deny that there seems to be a fairly well established perception that the bulk of Irish development and academy players stem from the private schools in the surroundings of Co. Dublin. Aside from our championing Heineken Cup county, who apparently breed

Forwards like livestock, one naturally assumes that sending their child to a fee-paying school like Blackrock College or St. Michaels will automatically multiply their chances ten-fold on the field. Why is this so? Surely, if one has talent it should not matter what school they come, as all are in with equal opportunity. Eddie O’Sullivan wrote in an article for The Independent in January, that the competitions between the Holy Ghost schools provides an extraordinary insight into the history and traditions of schools rugby. ‘Schools rugby consistently plays a huge part in player development and this fact is readily recognised by the IRFU. What is evident, as long as schools rugby has existed, is that Irish schools play an integral part in the player developmental pipelines that the IRFU support and manage.’ He later went on to state that ‘Youth rugby caters for the development of players who do not attend rugby-playing schools’. In spite of this declaration I can’t help feeling unconvinced. For example; Ireland introduces a fresh player new to the back line, standing side by side with Rob Kearney and Tommy Bowe. Along with his first cap for his country, he scores his first professional try. To tumultuous applause, spectators and commentators alike inquire over where this genius is from. He’s from a less fortunate area in

North Dublin where the local secondary school has no or few facilities, but he conquered. For some reason it doesn’t ring true does it? Regardless of proclamtions, there does persist this idea of lack of outreach beyond the obvious realms of the Holy Ghost schools. Of course there are always exceptions to the case; once in a while we do encounter an ambitious full-back or daring out-half surfacing from the woodwork of the more ‘well-rounded’ sporting schools (those that include hockey), but often is a situation where these players venture beyond the urban pale to ‘greener pastures’ down south or out west: Former UCD student Felix Jones springs to mind. Kevin Myers wrote an article in November last year for the Belfast Telegraph, which tackled the ongoing debate of the Southside attitudes toward the game and the absurdly unnecessary costs of revamping the D4 stadium in Lansdowne. Aptly entitled ‘Rugby snobs will have a trying time in their new ‘Crock Park’’, Myers points out the insanity of the IRFU’s building a stadium whose ‘capacity is nearly 20,000 short of the known market demand for a visit of the Manchester City of the rugby world, never mind when rugby's commercial equivalent of Manchester United’. He insists the ‘real purpose… is not to satisfy the demand to see the matches, nor to generate funds which

April 2009 College Tribune | 2nd 3rd February 2009

hing the Promised

could help promote the game across the country, but instead to satisfy rugby's obsessions with being a middle-class sport played in middle-class areas by middle-class boys’. Myers also ponders the ‘coincidence that rugby in the virtually autonomous province of Munster, with its class-less passion and its genuine devotion to the sport, is so often triumphant in Europe’. Finally, because I couldn’t help myself, I asked both players on their predictions of who would get Captain for the Lions tour. Mr. Wood fired back with ‘Paul O’Connell definitely. McGeechan prefers the intimidating factor, and he likes having a forward as the leader. Paul is a fantastic leader.’ So, we may indeed see a Munster man captain the Lions. Amid a national, nay global recession, we must take the bull by the horns while we have the chance and improve and expand on the development of schools participation in the Academy across the board. We are a small country, currently ranked at number four in the world of Rugby Union, we should take it into our hands now to further develop our future in it, in all sectors. Alas, has the real route to beating this recession and re-booting our economy been revealed at last? Whether a Yes or No, it doesn’t hurt to hope.

Features

Features News

April 2009 College Tribune | 2nd 3rd February 2009

20092009 College Tribune |2nd 3rd April February

Features

The jobs are gone but the immigrants are here to stay; Jordan Daly speaks to Frank Bukley of Sport against Racism Ireland, and UCD’s own Dr. Bryan Fanning, examining the obstacles to integration in Irish society In 2008 Unemployment rose by 67 percent. The recession is hitting us badly; what’s it like for Polish, Nigerians and Chinese people in Ireland at the moment? Frank Buckley is a founder of Sport Against Racism Ireland (SARI) and works with migrant and local communities to promote integration in Irish Society. “There is a huge surge in foreign nationals on the street at the moment.” This year because of a lack funding they could only run an anti-racism week March 14-22nd online. The National Consultancy Committee on Racism and Interculturalism (NCCRI) was closed in December 2008 due to Government cutbacks in the budget. “Every year for the last ten years there was the anti-racism week. Everybody has heard about it. It runs parallel with the equality authority. In the workplace and in schools it was highlighted. There was nothing this year. SARI had no funding to do anything, we just did an online piece to keep it going, but that’s where it’s at now which is why I am very concerned.” He is highly critical of the Government’s decision to put the economy before issues of racism and integration. “These are not the issues now as the government sees it. The economy is in recession and people are saying !"#$%&%'#%()&*+&,-.(/&0'121#)&341&-2& six years ago Irish wouldn’t take the lowest paid jobs so they were left to foreign nationals. Now the economy is down and there is no strategy in place, no thinking ahead. It’s a reactionary approach all the time.” Buckley makes the point that Minister forIntegration Conor Lenihan was reported as saying he was aware of the danger of a rise in racism as the economy slows and increases competition for jobs. “If you know there is a danger in it, why would you wait until somebody gets stabbed because they are after taking somebody’s job? “, says a concerned Buckley. “There is no strategy in place since the committee was shutdown and it’s up

to us, the NGOs with no funding, no rights, no authority and no power. So we are not going to change anything. All we can do is make awareness and support individuals.” He goes on to tell of his delegating people to ring up the Department of Justice to enquire what groups were involved with anti-racism week. None one they spoke to, he says, knew when it was or what it consisted of. “That’s the level we are at now. It has gone back ten years. Ten years of really good work. There were groups set up all over the place because we had loads of money.” SARI has succeeded in the last twelve years in linking the local communities with the Ethnic minority communities by helping them to get themselves organized. A group of Latvians, Romanians or Polish playing football in a local team gets connected with each other and the locals. “They might get a job or a friend out of it,” says Buckley. SARI is involved in educating young people in Ireland. The next generation of Irish people will be ethnically more diverse people and SARI spreads awareness of racism and more importantly educates about integration. The ‘Count Us In’ programme recently run in six Dublin eight schools educated #56&15%12%#$516&7-82%'&#56&37%'&+1#2& primary school students. “Each school had a two hour module on what multicultural means, what’s anti racism, what’s a refugee, what’s an asylum seeker. We educate them in simple terminology. Language is very important”. At the end of six or eight weeks all the schools are brought together. Schools from Crumlin, Blackrock, Tallaght, Finglas and Drogheda were involved in the pilot with a day trip to the national Arena arranged at the end for two hundred and forty children. Blackrock Sion Hill came together with St.Josephs in Tallaght as part of the project. Dr Bryan Fanning Assistant professor in UCD’s school of applied Social Science. His new book entitled New Guests Of The Irish Nation contains

chapter 12 called ‘The Wages of Fear’ (with Roland Erne). In this chapter which deals with the race to the bottom in 2005 and 2006 as immigrants competed for Irish jobs, Dr Fanning argues that those people, politicians and trade unionists, who argued to restrict immigration were shot down. There is still exploitation of cheap labour and public hostility towards non-Irish workers as jobs dry up. The dividing line lies along the border of the EU countries. It is the African Taxi man and the Asian cleaner for example that faces as Fanning concludes, “the brunt of Irish antipathy towards immigrants and of any political attempts to exploit such feelings.” When Pat Rabitte for example was accosted. He made a statement in the beginning of 2006 saying we should reintroduce work permits for Eastern Europeans, people from the ten new countries in the European Union. At that time Ireland was in the position of being one of only three, western European, old EU countries that had decided to allow all those persons in from eastern Europe, without visas, immediately. Fanning in his new book estimates %'1&58*.12)&-7 &%'1&$598:;&<='1&>?& counted 290,000 arrivals between May 2004 and September 2005. Ireland, with less than one tenth of its population, issued about 160,000 new social security numbers between May 2004 and November 2005; some 86,900 to Polish migrants, 29,500 to Lithuanians, 14,600 to Latvians and 29,900 to those from other new EU member states.” In 2004 when all those countries joined the EU Ireland took in a huge number of people because it needed the immigrant labour. The ideology was very much pro economic development and growth. In contrast countries like France and Germany only agreed to let them in eventually, which was last year. Gordon Brown made the statement, 'British Jobs for British People', Brian Cowen has made no such statement. @-&*#,-2&A-B$%$C#B&3D821&*#61&)8C'& a statement. The only ones were the

Cork candidates, Flynn and so on. They were pretty much shot down too.” “The public debate is one of resisting getting into a xenophobic mood around this.” As some migrants leave and some stay some face vulnerable situations because of sheer joblessness. Polish community in Ireland, which is estimated at around 230,000, is experiencing the largest exodus of workers back either to their homeland or other parts of the EU in search of work. Irish too are facing harsh situations with unemployment up to ten percent. “The Cappuchin centre in town which hands out food parcels every week is running a soup kitchen at the most basic level. Large numbers of immigrants are using that now,” Fanning states, “There is a sense that immigrants are more likely to be squeezed out of jobs, and $%()&412+&'#26&%-&356&#&)%86+&%'#%&)#+)& this though.” “Every generation has its own big [sociological] topic. This is the big one for me at one end of it and students at the other end,” Dr.Fanning remarks. Suggestion have been made in the media that the hole left by the departure of Polish construction laborers would '+A-%'1%$C#BB+&.1&3BB16&.+&E72$C#5&#56& Asian migrants if there was a return to boom time activity. Dr. Fanning is very skeptical of such theories, “I wouldn’t say so at all. Racism is an issue for African people. In a study done by the ESRI on them, before the crunch happened, Africans were six times less likely to be in paid employment. That means if you take even a four percent unemployment rate, for Africans that equals twenty four.” “Africans were facing disproportionate problems accessing paid employment. If those people can’t get jobs in good times and racism plays a factor in it, the worry is that even if there are more jobs in the future, not all immigrants will get access to them.” The same goes for uneducated as opA-)16&%-&168C#%16&#56&*-21&F8#B$316& who face less chance of gaining employment. There are people who never

1:A12$15C1&%'1&.1513%)&-7 &1C-5-*$C& prosperity. “It’s a class thing, when you are excluded from the labour market you are not just experiencing racism, you are experiencing a socio-economic class effect.” This, as Dr.Fanning C-532*)G&$)&$5&1))15C1&%'1&%'21#%&%-& non-EU migrants in Ireland now and in the future. “The challenge then is to try and make sure that with our social policy we eliminate the unfairness and work actively to ensure that people get access to those jobs right across the spectrum.” Some communities face different disadvantages than others. For Polish they are graduates whose F8#B$3C#%$-5)&#21&5-%&21C-D5$)16&#56& can only get menial jobs here and now even those are being taken away. We are beginning to see a breakthrough of immigrant councilors in politics. Who gets included is still very much up for grabs. “We are faced with the challenge of trying to ensure that the different communities get to participate in our economy and society and our challenge is to make sure that that happens without racism or unfairness and that we do a fair bit of work to ensure these communities facing racism and discrimination can overcome it. As any other country in the world had shown, this is not easy to achieve, but it’s the only game in town; if we don’t do it we set problems for our society in the future.” It’s in all our interest that both the children of Irish and migrants do well because both are needed for the next generation to build this country. But how do returning migrants in Eastern Europe, Asia and Africa see us? Recent reports of ‘No Irish” on the construction sites of Poland suggest some resentment towards us. In 2008 Unemployment rose by 67 percent. The recession is hitting us badly; what’s it like for Polish, Nigerians and Chinese people in Ireland at the moment?

College Tribune | 3rd 2009 2ndFebruary April 2009

Features News

!"#$%%&'"#$()*+,"*- "./0 12+)"3$45"627"8&&9 Sam McGrath retells a dusty tale buried in the UCD analls Last month’s Rag Week shenanigans in NUI Galway, which saw forty-two people arrested, prompted widespread condemnation and criticism. In this issue of Hidden History, we focus in on UCD’s own Rag Week, which in the late 1960s and 1970s gained widespread notoriety. Rag Week was banned in the 1950s by UCD authorities after pranks marred the celebrations including the “kidnapping of sales girls from Clerys” by students. It was renamed ‘College Week’ in the mid 1960s and allowed to take place but as we’ll see the name didn’t stick and the trouble didn’t end. In 1966, Queen’s University students kidnapped Miss UCD to raise publicity for their Rag Week prompting UCD students to travel to Queen’s to recapture their queen and in the process seizing a “female member of the Queen’s Students’ Representative Council”. UCD students in 1967 travelled to Queen’s University in Belfast to kidnap Miss Ursula White, their Rag ‘princess’. According to newspaper reports of the time, she was taken “by car to an undividulged Dublin address” where UCD students sent out a press release demanding a ransom of £25 for the girls’ freedom. The following year, a vanload of Queen’s students visited Dublin, kidnapping Jean Power, a UCD secretary. She was later held in the !"#$%&' !" ' ()%' *+%%,-&' .,/0%1&/(2' Student’s Union. The Irish Times reported that” Miss Power … (was) at ease (but) was not available for comment as she was shopping in Belfast”. While in the city, Queen’s students took a 350-year-old doorknocker from the Graduates Memorial Building in TCD, which a ransom of £10 was demanded for its retrieval. During their trip to UCD, the students also tried to steal the Literary and Historical Society’s recently won debating trophy, valued at £300. Seven of the group slipped into the private business meeting of the L. and H where they the grabbed the trophy and rushed out the door. Their getaway attempt was foiled by a member of the society who shut the college gates. The Queen’s students van, which damaged its

headlights after colliding with the gate, was “instantly besieged by (UCD) students”. After minor scuf3%&4'()%'(1!5)2'67&'1%(1/%0%8'7,8' handed back to the Auditor Mr. Henry Kelly. During Rag Week in 1969, four U.C.D. students raided the R.T.E. television studios in Montrose, appropriating a replica of the moon, which was used in the background set for the national song contest. Deceiving security, the students disguised themselves as building workmen and drove up to the studio in a lorry. The “moon”, devised by the R.T.E. head of design, Mr. Alpho O’Reilly, was over nine feet in diameter and made of a plastic substance stretched over a frame. An embarrassed R.T.E. spokesperson, when questioned over the incident, could not explain how the visitors entered and left the studios “unchallenged and unquestioned”. The students ‘borrowed’ the moon to use for publicity to

raise funds for charity during Rag Week. From trawling through the newspaper archives, it is unclear whether the students gave the “moon” back or not. UCD Rag Week hit the headlines again in 1976 when hundreds of students ran riot through the cen(1%'!" '9+:;/,<'=17"#$'67&'&%0%1%;2' disrupted when “several hundred undergraduates … congregated at the top of Grafton Street”. The #1&('>7187'$7;;%8'!,'()%'&$%,%'67&' 5%;(%8' 6/()' %>>&' 7,8' 3!!1&' 7,8' was forced to retreat. The assistant manager of the Ambassador Cinema on O’Connell Street rang UCD Students’ Union to complain about what he called the “disgraceful” behaviour of students who tried to force their way into the cinema without paying. UCD students also jumped into the River Liffey en masse. Later that evening, a group of students from Bolton Street College of Technology telephoned the Irish Indepen-

dent and clamed that they had kidnapped the organiser of the UCD Rag Week, Mr. Billy McGrath “in retaliation for their attack on Bolton Street”. A spokesperson for the Bolton St. students calling himself ‘Captain Blue’ demanded back as a ransom the College clock they accused UCD students of stealing. They were also requested a barrel of Guinness and a £10 donation to a charity of the Irish Independent’s choice. In February 1977 as part of Rag Week celebrations, over one hundred UCD students invaded Trinity College, the College of Surgeons and Kevin Street College causing £3,200 worth of damage. Newspaper reports describe how the UCD students “scaled the walls of Trinity by rope” after the gates were closed to them. Once inside, the UCD mob used a car belonging to a member of TCD staff as a battering ram to get into the Museum building. They also stole a large

notice from the college entrance. A Kevin Street College of Technology laboratory was also damaged during the rampage. Eamon Gilmore, current Labour Party president and the then president of the Union of Students in Ireland (USI), blamed the trouble on a “fringe hooligan” element who he said &)!+;8':%'/8%,(/#%8'7,8'?78%'(!' pay the bill for the damages they cost. Condemnation came from various circles in society including the Irish Housewives’ Association. Charles McNally, the then UCDSU president announced that the Union had voted for fundamental changes to the College’s Rag Week, in future “it would be a Community Week devoted to helping the community and city centre forways would be banned” The Rag Week pranks and “high jinks” of UCD which were a staple annual event are now just a distant memory. Who knows if they’ll ever return?

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College Tribune | 2nd April 2009

Regs News

Random Review Bas Rutten’s Lethal Street Fighting Self Defense System (youtube) For all you bad drunks out there and womanisers, Bas Rutten’s Lethal Street Fighting Self Defence System might be for you. He gives various demonstrations on how to survive confrontations in the bar and on the street. Applying such delicate methods such as throwing saltshakers, smashing bottles across heads and kicking people in the groin. But what makes it all the more funny is how serious he takes himself, whilst unknowingly coming across as someone taking the piss. At first one is unsure whether this guy is for real. Whether he is ironically taking the

piss? But no, not in any way! His dodgy facial expressions, as well as great turns of phrase make for good viewing. Put it this way, this guy is a big hit on you tube, not likely as a source of knowledge for bar room self defence techniques, but rather for the comedic aspect. At one point he demonstrates turning defence into attack in response to a knife attack. At the point of inflicting the serious pain on the aggressor, he advises you to rationalise on whether stabbing him in the upper leg, or in the liver depending on how serious the attacker’s

intentions were. Justifying the latter if the guy really tries to kill you. There is no eastern philosophy of limiting harm to the attacker here. But his old favourite is the tried and trusted good old kick to the groin. Also, the shin to the head is one to watch out for. Watching him demonstrate such an action is hilarious. He does this piece where he is imitating a scenario with an imaginary attacker ‘‘I can play the innocent person and say ‘look sir I really don’t want anything of this’ and then I go ah stabbing the knife into his throat’’. His abrasive sudden

action of the stabbing movement is a little alarming. Or else his advice on why in his prior experience, breaking a glass bottle is not a good tool for a stabbing device, as it is likely to break into pieces and no longer be a useful weapon, preferring instead to use it for the smash across the head. He was actually a professional UFC fighter, who was known for his famous liver shots, a favourite of his. He also has videos of him self up on you tube providing commentary to his fights. In one fight he talks the viewer through the fight in hindsight. He reveals how he is

practically toying with the fighter. And just before the knock out he says ‘at this point I decide to knock him out’. Get for real mate! As if you expect us to believe that you were in such control of the fight. But this type of egotism is what makes him so funny. In fairness to him though he is actually a nice bloke, and has a renowned UFC career with 22 unbeaten fights. He is definitely worth a watch on you tube if you are looking for a good laugh, or actually want to polish up on your bar fighting skills.

What Ever Happened to... Emo Blogs? “Not all scars show, not all wounds heal, sometimes you can’t always see the pain someone feels” *Sigh* …I awoke in a melancholic mood today; I ate a burger last night, forgot to keep up my new bulimic routine and now I can’t fit into those skinny jeans I borrowed off my little sisterlife is just so cruel. At least I have my music though, and my poems, they’re so like deep and shit, like that band My Chemical Romance it’s the best for focusing my creative energy; their lyrics make me wanna just cry, they like totally speak to me. The world is still shitting all over me; trying to keep me down. I took two and a half paracetomal last night before bed in an attempt to dull the constant pounding heartache I feel every minute of every day; you’re only meant to take two but sometimes I’m so

careless with my life, what’s the point anyway? But I don’t know if it was all those drugs or an out of body experience but I had

this surreal dream where I was in a jail cell lying on this huge bed covered in black roses; I accidentally pricked my self on of the thorns I was caressing and black blood started trickling out of my finger. Then,

I looked up and Pete Wentz appeared beside me and sucked the blood out of my finger. (More details in dream diary) When I woke up, I had a tingly hard on. I don’t know if this means I am gay but I am really confused. Sure I wear black nail polish but that doesn’t mean I’m a fag, no matter what my dad says. It just means I’m different from everyone else; IS THAT SO WRONG? Being different from what is “socially acceptable” is so hard nowadays; No one understands me; what’s the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away? It was my day of birth yesterday, time just keeps passing but my emotions never change. (could make good poem?) We went to

Ramp and Rail to escape from reality for a bit; I just transcend the monotony of life when I’m grinding the rails. Me and the guys had a really deep discussion as well in that great antiestablishment coffee place. The presents I got were shit though; Mom burst out crying when I told her that I HATED the pastel clothes she got me. EVERYONE knows I only wear the colours that reflect my mood. Dad got angry when he saw me applying my everlasting black lipstick and eyeliner and keeps telling me to grow a pair. They don’t understand that my eyeliner and the way I dress is how I express myself and my feelings to the world. Nothing or no one can compare to my sorrow; I wish I was dead. Katy pointed out my rad cutting scars in front of everyone in class the other day when I was

carving Fall Out Boy into my arm with the razor from my pencil sharpener. She thinks she can help; why cant she realise I’ll never get through this, she doesn’t know what it’s like growing up in Ballinteer with a family who don’t express themselves through poetry or song. Yours despondently, Lonely_Boy_666

VOLUME XXII ISSUE X

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MICHELANGELO’S FAT DAVIE “IT’S GLANDULAR” This RYANAIR IM POSE NEW OXYGEN TAX JOINT COM MITTEE INVES TIGATES MARI JUANA USE STIFF OPPOSI TION EXPECTED TO COFFINLESS FUNERAL PLAN ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX FISHERMAN ARRESTED AFTER US ING WIFE AS SHARK BAIT

Redmond struggles to deny premature celebration

It has recently been revealed that President Elect Mr. Gary Redmond has been suffering from a severe case of premature celebration. Redmond has vigorously denied these accusations about this rather personal issue and is obstinate that he has never had any problem with, or suffered from premature celebration. It seems he is convinced that he can hold out as long as the next man before giving in to celebration. Mr. Redmond went so far as to say that he was not even aware that any such celebration took place, though the mess left in its wake must surely have caught his attention even if the exhilarating feeling of celebration passed him by. A young woman and campus resident has revealed to the turbine that she was shocked and horrified when Mr. Redmond’s premature celebration left a holy mess. The incident is alleged to have taken place on the second day of polling when supporters could no longer hold back their swelling en-

thusiasm and splashed out with a party as Redmond thrust to the lead in the race for position as new leader of UCDSU. The Turbine is rather concerned with the allegations of premature celebration on the part of Mr. Redmond and wonder if this could be a foretaste of the year to come, when he has his hand firmly on the helm of the UCD student body. Could we be in for a rather wet and sticky year as student politics, which seemed to reach its climax in the 80’s and early 90’s finds it difficult to turn the student body on, and work them up to the same f ev e r i s h heights seen in past decades? Perhaps the future SU leader w o u l d

do better to court the student body and make them feel special and unique before he gives himself up to full on celebration such as that which was reported to the turbine. We fear that this may be the start of an epidemic of premature celebration on the part of the SU as a whole. If so this may lead the student body feeling unloved, uncared for, and unsatisfied and will surely lead to many sticky messes around campus, which someone will have to clean up. It may

even lead us to abandon the Redmond regime and seek fulfilment elsewhere. This is our main problem. Does this watery mess actually do anything for us, does it turn us on to student politics, or are we as the student body simply left bored and unsatisfied while Mr. Redmond flusters to apologise, hide and explain away his the party he never saw? (Page 5, News)

College Tribune | 2nd April 2009

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Russell’s Rant Martin Russell Page 22

Rugby UCD narrowly defeated by UL Page 23

DOWN THE LINE

Great Expectations Rory O’Carroll took time out of his hectic training schedule with two Gaelic football teams and two hurling teams to speak to Eoghan Glynn about his call up to the Dublin Senior football squad and his All-Ireland club championship win with Kilmacud Crokes on St.Patricks Day.

March was a busy month for Rory O'Carroll. While most of us kept up our nation's reputation as heavy drinkers on St. Patrick's Day, this first year Arts student was one of three current UCD students busy winning the AllIreland Club Championship with Kilmacud Crokes in Croke Park. Following some confusion over whether he would then play inter-county hurling or football for Dublin, the nineteen year old joined up with the Dublin senior football panel last Wednesday ahead of their crucial clash with Kerry. O’Carroll is a dualstar prodigy. Coming from a rare breed of sportsmen who shine in both hurling and football, O'Carroll is always likely to be busy. “At the moment, I'm playing hurling and football for Kilmacud Crokes, hurling for UCD and football for Dublin,” he states, “so it’s pretty hard to fit in all the teams.” As a part of the hurling freshers’ team that lost to Carlow IT (the eventual champions) in the first round this year, O'Carroll had been surprised with what he saw; “there was a much higher standard in college hurling than I would've expected. For example, that CIT team had two starters in the Cork senior hurling panel.” However, it would be through football and Kilmacud Crokes that Rory, along with fellow UCD

students Cian O'Sullivan and his elder brother Ross O'Carroll (also a dual player), would find success this year. After winning the Dublin and Leinster Championships, followed by the win over Corofin, they found themselves with the daunting task of playing four-time AllIreland champions Crossmaglen Rangers of Armagh. The full back wasn't afraid to admit, “Their record definitely had an impact on the team.” “They had the experience, whereas it was the first time any of us had actually made an All-Ireland final. Having said that, we didn't fear them. We weren't over-confident going into the final or anything, but we knew we had the ability to beat them. If we played like we knew how we could, we'd be in with a right chance. Luckily enough, they seemed to have an off-day too and we went on to win.” O’Carroll played full back along side his brother and was solid in defence, keeping the Corsmaglen forwards to just seven points while Crokes lead by Donal Vaughan got a goal and nine points. Fourteen years after their previous All-Ireland victory, of which the Arts student claims to remember little of, the people of Kilmacud witnessed the return of the Andy Merrigan Cup to their club. “The reception was unbelievable,

everywhere was jam-packed, everyone was really excited, and it was just unbelievable.” As one of the younger members of the squad, O'Carroll also appreciated how much it meant to some of the senior members; “It was massive for the club as there was a whole generation of players who hadn't won an All-Ireland, the likes of Ray Cosgrove, Darren Magee, the sort of players who've been playing for fourteen years.” Following this victory, word had spread that both Rory and Ross had ruled out any chance of playing for the Dublin senior football team by committing themselves to the Dublin senior hurling panel. However, when nine

Kilmacud players had joined up with the football panel for training last week, Rory was among them. O'Carroll believes this was a simple misunderstanding, “Ross decided to go over to the hurling panel, but I'd actually not made any contact with (Dublin senior hurling manager) Anthony Daly. I'm not quite sure what happened, but whatever way it came out, he seemed to think that the two of us had committed ourselves to the hurling panel.” Still a teenager, the All-Ireland club championship medal winner would have been forgiven for finding his first training session alongside footballers he would've grown up supporting (Darren

Magee, Paul Griffin, Cian O'Sullivan, Kevin Nolan, Mark Vaughan, Mark Davoren, Pat Burke and Liam óg ó hEineachain) a little daunting. He dismisses any feelings of inferiority by saying it was “a good experience. It was a bit odd training along with those players, a bit surreal alright. But there were nine Crokes lads there which made it a lot easier to settle in. Being part of the panel at this age means that I'm getting the sort of experience that can only be good for the future.” So what now for the All-Ireland champion? He will probably be part of the Dublin under-21 football panel that will be taking on Laois in the Leinster Final in Portlaoise in a few weeks.

UCD Sentinels hat trick of victories UCD’s American Football Club is the latest club to hit Belfield. They beat Dublin Dragons on their debut 13-0 and then Midland Soldiers by a whopping 50-0 The UCD Sentinels travelled to Edenderry in Co Offaly on Sunday22nd March to take on the Midland Soldiers. The Sentinels a first year team went into this game on the back of their first hard fought victory against the Dublin Dragons the Previous week. The impressive side got their third victory last Sunday against the Dublin Dragons from Lucan. The Soldiers are second year team in the DV8s Development

League of the IAFL. This game wasn’t expected to be a pushover but with Quarter back taken to hospital in the second quarter after an awkward fall from a legal D Sherlock tackle, the Soldiers struggled to deal with the Sentinels defense and conceded heavy scores. They never really got back into the game and the Sentinels still on a high from the first 21 mins of the game finished off the last 2.58 with some excellent running by Eric

Sherlock and Aman Sikand saw the Sentinels power their way down the field ending the Half with an 8yd touch down run by Sherlock. The final score was 50-0. This score did not reflect the entire game hard fought game. UCD have made a fantastic start to the season and Coach John Collins is delighted with his teams fantastic unbeaten start. They play Trinity in Santry on Friday the tenth of April.

UCD Scorers: 1st Half TD Karl Boos 5yd run, XP Failed 6-0 TD Gary O’Riordan 15yd INT Ret, XP Pete Wright Pass to Paddy Duffy 13-0 TD Eric Sherlock 8yd run, XP Pete Wright run 20-0 2nd Half TD Pete Wright 29yd Pass to Jason Vance Kirker, XP Paddy Buttner

Run 27-0 TD Paddy Buttner 8yd Run, XP Paddy Buttner Run 34-0 TD Alan Browne Fumble Recovery in the End zone, XP Pete Wright Run 41-0 Safety Vitale Levdonski Sack in the End zone 43-0 TD Karl Cremin 17yd Pass to Kian Lahiji, XP Karl Boos run 50-0

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College Tribune | 2nd April 2009

News Sport

Who can be our ray of light? Ahead of the big game in Bari, Colman Hanley talks to former Ireland international, Ray Houghton, scorer of that famous USA 1994 goal against Italy. If Republic of Ireland manager Giovanni Trapattoni, recently 70 years old on Saint Patrick’s Day, needed knowledge on previous encounters with Italy, who better to ask than Ray Houghton.

A member of the 1990 World Cup team, Houghton talked to the College Tribune of his first experience of playing the Italians, a 1-0 defeat through Toto Schillaci’s solitary goal. “The QuarterFinal was in Rome so Italy had everyone behind them. We knew we were up against it. On the day we were unlucky. Italy’s keeper Walter Zenga made a great save early on from Niall Quinn. If he hadn’t, perhaps it might have been a different story. They had great players like Donadoni, Maldini, Baggio and Schillaci, and they made the difference.” But the game in the 1994World Cup was entirely different. Houghton’s looping shot over Gianluca Pagliuca secured a 1-0 win in the Giants Stadium, New York. “We obviously got off to a very good start with the early goal. I was the lucky one who scored and it’s a pleasure that I’ll always be remembered for that goal. It gave us something to build on and hold onto till the end. Goals change games in football, so all of a sudden Italy had to come out and try to score. The pitch was tight so there wasn’t a lot of room to get through our 4-5-1 formation. They struggled to break us down, they had a few chances in the second half, but it was nothing we couldn’t handle. In fact it was John Sheridan who came nearest to scoring when he hit the bar near the end.” “We were top class that day, but back then you have to remember that we

had players like Paul McGrath, Denis Irwin,Steve Staunton,Roy Keane,Andy Townsend and John Sheridan – quality players. No one should have been surprised that we won”. In comparison, it would be a surprise if Ireland win on Wednesday as opinions on the present squad are divided – do we really have enough ‘quality’ players? That remains to be seen. Strangely, this Group 8 game will be played in the unfamiliar surroundings of the Stadio San Nicola in Bari. “I don’t think this will have a major bearing on the team. The Italians must want the game on a tight ground and they obviously don’t want too many Irish at the game to spoil the party! The players will just have to go out and experience it. Playing against the top sides, they’re the games you look forward to most and the occasions you are really tested as a player.” After the poor 1-1 draw with Bulgaria, Houghton agrees the players need to raise their performance levels. He pointed to Richard Dunne as someone to lead the side. “When we beat Holland 1-0 in Lansdowne, everyone remembers Jason McAteer’s goal and Roy Keane’s performance. But Dunnie was fantastic that day. A man down and defending against 4 strikers at the end of the game, the rearguard action was terrific. Dunne has been a cornerstone of Irish soccer for a long time now and he’ll be there for us again in the future.”

“The onus will be on Italy onWednesday and not many people will think we have a chance of getting anything from the game. But if you look at our results in the last few years, we’ve not done too badly against the big sides away.” “Our central column has to be strong. Shay Given is a top keeper, John O’Shea and Dunne have been terrific, we know we’ll get energy and attitude from the lads in the middle of the park and we’ve strength up front in Kevin Doyle and Robbie Keane. The spine of the team is very important and I think it looks reasonably good at the moment.” Finally, how does Ray think Trapattoni, born in Cusano Milanino, will approach the game? “We tend to work as a unit. People say we’re conservative but the manager doesn’t stop the wingers taking players on, or stop Doyle or Keane making runs forward. We make sure we’re hard to play against and there’s nothing in the rules against that. Should we play with more freedom? Who knows? We’re in a results industry so at the moment, it’s all about qualification for me. If we get to the World Cup Finals,maybeTrapattoni will change tactics! The manager will pick a team that will try to frustrate Italy and at the same time get a result. Let’s hope we can do that.” Indeed, after last Saturday’s disappointing showing, hopefully it will be the Italians’ turn to be frustrated at Il Trap’s side!

Russell’s Rant! UCD soccer manager Martin Russell exclusively writes for the College Tribune, giving us his views on UCD and Irish soccer.

Anytime you play Finn Harps, you know it’s going to be a tough game. Last Friday, conditions for both sides were very difficult. There had been a lot of rain and the pitch was quite soft. It was also very windy so it made for difficult playing conditions, but nevertheless we tried to play football. Our performance and comittment levels again were great and I thought we were value for the win. We had chances to go 3-1 up at times but unfortunately we didn’t take them. Having said that, Finn Harps had a chance at the death which they nearly scored from so after that near miss, we were delighted to get the 3 points. In pre-season we initially had the chance of taking Ciarán Kilduff on loan, so we were delighted to sign him on a permanent basis when he

became available. Our front two of Ciarán and David McMillan have been excellent so far, they have 7 goals in the 4 games. But in saying that, strikers are only as good as the ammunition they get so credit to the rest of the lads as they’ve been terrific as well. The forwards have been getting service and we need to keep getting that kind of good service up to them in future games. It’s good to have Evan McMillan and Billy Brennan back in the side. We had a problem at the back recently as we lost experienced players in Alan McNallyandConorKennatoDrogheda United, while Evan and Brian Shortall weren’t available for much of the pre-season. As a result, we’ve had young Andrew Boyle and Mick Leahy in the side. In fairness to them, they both came into the first game against Kildare County, making their debuts, and were very good. Now we’ve got healthy competition for places at the back after giving the lads a chance to play and gain experience. That is what the college is all about, we offer young players a stage

to prosper on and give them the opportunity to play senior football. That point has again been proven by Andrew Boyle’s call-up to the Republic of Ireland’s Under 18 side to face Cyprus in Larnaca next week. The downside to this is we’ll lose Andy for the Shelbourne game on April 10th, but I’d rather lose players now and again to the international team if it meant them gaining recognition on the international stage. We’ve had a great start to the season, but the 1-0 win at Sporting Fingal has been the best result so far. Fingal are going to win a lot of games this year, they’re very strong as was shown in their 8-0 win last week versus Kildare County. Luckily though, we got them at an early time in the season. We haven’t played everyone yet in the first phase of games, but what we try to do in each game is be as competitive as possible and so far that’s working us. The Collingwood Cup success at the end of February was a tremendous achievement. All the credit has to go to the players involved and particularly to their manager Diarmaid McNally.

Those players hadn’t too much luck in recent times, losing in latter stages of the Under-20 championship,going down to 10 men and suffering defeat to University Limerick in the Universities and College’s competition in the semifinals. Therefore, to go down to Cork and win the Collingwood was a fine achievement. John Dineen won player of the tournament despite playing the last few games with a slight injury. He’s only now just returning back to full fitness. His return to fitness is an example of the competition for places we have in the squad. We’ve got Kildare County at home on Friday. Ronan Finn and Brian Shortall came off with knocks in the Harps game so we’ll have to assess their condition after they get a bit of treatment. Kildare will play with a lot of pride after their heavy defeat last week to Sporting Fingal. From that point of view, it’s probably not the best time to be playing them. However, we’ll just concentrate on what we can do, take it from there and hopefully pick up another 3 points.

College Tribune | 2nd April 2009

Sport

! Picture by Barry Hennessey

O’Neill hat trick edges out students ! Ben McCormack

UCD

UL Bohemians IrelandU-20internationalfull-backNoel Reid’s injury time try and conversion set up a tense few minutes as the Students in blue went in search of a winner. This sparked the greatest excitement in a game riddled with mistakes. UL Bohemians arrived at Belfield eight points ahead of College and leave with a win in the student derby with a dominating second half display by taking advantage of a gale behind them which saw them run four tries against a hapless UCD.At eight position now they are on the margin of next year’s split which sees eight team’s of thr current campaign going into Division 1A. The first half was all the men in blue, though, as they went about doing the basics right, spreading the ball well and looking to attack when available. This was rewarded in the 10th minute with a penalty, just inside the opposing half. Ireland U-20 international Ian McKinley stepped up and sent the ball through

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Belfield the uprights to give UCD a 3-0 lead. The game displayed many errors on both sides, and despite the referee being very lenient towards College they conceded a penalty early on. A promising Bohemians attack was stopped illegally and fly-half Fergal Lawlor was given an easy opportunity to score, 3-3 after twenty two minutes. UCD responded immediately, gaining quick turn-over ball, and it came to the inspirational Vasily Artemiev on the left wing. He passed a couple of would-be tacklers and left the rest of the UL team for dust as he sprinted to the try line. Reid missed the conversion however and the score remained 8-3 until the end of the half. Bohemians kicked off the second half with the advantageous wind blowing at their backs. They seemed revitalised

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after a dower first half performance and made a quick line break through Mark Butler that nearly made it to the UCD line.UL quickly recycled and made their way across the pitch and again tried to penetrate the blue wall in front of them. Finally, the forwards rumbled over and it was Richie Feeny, the Bohemians prop, who got the try. Lawlor converted to make the score 10-8. By the 49th minute UL had scored another. After constant and well exerted pressure on the UCD 22 they broke through and flanker James O’Neill touched down and again Lawlor made the kick to stretch the score to 17-8. Bohemians were now rampant and UCD were getting overwhelmed as a third try loomed. Six minutes later it did with O’Neill once again going over from short range but the conversion was missed, leaving the score at 22-8. UCD needed a life line to remain close as the last quarter of the game drew closer. Michael Hastings, UCD’s captain and inside centre provided by a cutting line break and a deft offload to a supporting player. This freestyle play led to a penalty in perfect range for

Noel Reid and he provided, slimming the score 22-11. With 12 minutes to go, Bohemians once again stepped it up, searching for their fourth and bonus point try. After some quick ball and sublime running by scrum-half Chris Delooze, UL had an overlap and O’Neill crossed the line for a third time, but a missed conversion gave UCD hope, the score 27-11. UCD began to step up their game and Hastings was once again the instigator, creating room for others to run into. This eventually led to a succession of penalties and a sin-bin for UL’s number 7 Tommy O’Donnell. College opted to keep the in hand and go for broke and after a series of attacks, numbers began to tell on the left wing, allowing

Cian Aherne to pull one back for the desperate home comeback hopes. Reid made the kick bringing the score to 2718 with 6 minutes to go. But it was not to be. With one minute of ordinary time remaining, replacement full-back Aidan McNulty kicked a 45metre penalty to stretch Bohemians lead. Reid’s late try was a mere consolation, a losing bonus point as UCD went down 30-25, slipping to third from bottom with work to do to avoid relegation.

A loss in battle but victory in the war Jordan Daly caught up with Conor Meany to discuss UCD Marian’s Mens Superleague play off results and having their best season in over a decade

Coach Cormac Connor was well aware of the magnitude of the challenge facing his side. Going down to Cork for the second leg of the semi-final play-offs with the score tied to face the highly fancied UCC Demons in their packed out Marydyke stadium was going to be tough. It was made even tougher by an impenetrable Demons defence on the day that spurred Coach Douglas Leichner to claim that his side didn’t allow UCD any clean looks at the basket; Marian were held to just fifty nine points by the eventual triple winners of the Superleague title. The Dublin four side have dished out a couple of twenty point hidings this season but this was the first time they found themselves on the receiving end of an unstoppable onslaught. Conor Meany with a proud family tradition in the club was in the thick of it and led the inspired comeback in the first leg in the UCD sports centre on Saturday the fourteenth; Himself,Luke McCrone and Dan James came on in the second quarter. In the first quarter Marian went down by thirteen points in a horrible start but the threesome came off the bench and gave a huge lift. In the second half again the home side let it slip a little, with Demons creating another lead at the end of the third quarter, start of the fourth

quarter. Then UCD launched a heroic comeback again with huge support from the crowd. “The fans were amazing that night,” Meany says, “We somehow managed to tie the game with Mike Parker scoring a basket with ten seconds to go. It was unusual in that it was the first draw I have been a part of or even heard of in Irish basketball. It was a great night for us because everyone expected Demons to come in and walk it in both legs but we really put it up to them which was great.” One of the Demons’ Americans had been injured before the play offs but he was back for the semi finals. UCD faced the same team in both legs but as Meaney points out, ”The difference in the second leg was we kept Cathal O’Reilly one of their top scorers under wraps but Shane Coughlan,one of their biggest Irish players for the last decade came up huge and really led them. He was their inspirational leader in the second leg. He lead from the start and we just couldn’t deal with it on the day. “ Shane Coughlan and Jarreh Young were lethal for Demons and scored a combined forty six between them in the second crucial leg to kill off Marian’s hopes. “We came out a bit tentative and unsure of ourselves in the first quarter of the second leg in Cork.Luke McCrone came into the game in the second quarter

and they just couldn’t stop him inside. There are a few different dynamics on our team with player pairings. Myself and Luke get on very well on and off the court and have an understanding with each other.” MVP? “Luke McCrone or Dan James in the first leg because Luke gave us such a lift throughout the game but Dan was top scorer with sixteen points. For someone in their first year in the league to come into the semifinal play offs against the best team in the league and score sixteen points is phenomenal. He really did a great job shooting the ball especially down the stretch.” The U20 national Cup winner is still only eighteen! It has been an incredible season for UCD’s basketball club. “It’s the first time we got to the semi-finals of the playoffs for over a decade, we haven’t won the Superleague in thirty two years now. The last time we came that close was the year of the foot and mouth outbreak when the league had to be shut down. It certainly has been our best season in a number of years.” Meany joins the younger players coming through the ranks that have strengthened the squad and Marian plan to build on this season’s success for next year. ”Half of the players we have are still quite young, I’d be older than four of our other players and I’m only twenty-two myself. There

is a lot of room for talent coming through, the club has been in the last three U20 National Cup finals and won this year and this year we got to the semi-finals of the play-offs so there are a lot of positives going into next season already.” UCD Marian Basketball proudly announces its Anniversary Gala Dinner.

UCD's American's Mike Parker and Dave Ryan watch a basket drop into the net.

Club 40th

Location; Royal Marine Hotel, Dun Laoghaire, Co Dublin Date; Saturday, 4 April 2009-0303 Time; 7;30 pm til late Ticket Prices; €75 per Adult, €55 per Student Table of 10; €750. ALL EXCESS PROCEEDS FROM THE NIGHT WILL GO TOWARD THE CONTINUED DEVELOPMENT OF BASKETBALL IN THE CLUB

! Picture by Barry Hennessey

Sport

Interview Irish Soccer Legend Ray Houghtton Page 22

Issue 10 | Volume 22 | 2nd April 2009

UCD stay top and continue perfect start

! Picture by Ed Scannell

! Colman Hanley UCD continued their 100% record in the League of Ireland First Division with a 2-1 win in Ballybofey against Finn Harps. The remarkable run of results under new manager Martin Russell continues to show no sign of letting up as Ciarán Kilduff and Dave McMillan scored to secure the 3 points. The run began with the victory of the Collingwood Cup back in February. The league began with a 2-1 win against Kildare County at the Bowl, then a 1-0 win away to Sporting Fingal, followed

UCD

Finn Harps

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Ballybofey by a 3-0 home win versus Monaghan United. But last Friday’s win in Donegal has shown that Russell’s side have the ability to win outside of Dublin, an essential quality for a team challenging for promotion.

Russell made 2 changes to his team. Billy Brennan made his first appearance of the season in place of Ger Barron, while Evan McMillan replaced Michael Leahy at centre-back. Within 2 minutes of the start, UCD took the lead. Chris Mulhall got into an advanced position and his shot was saved by Harps keeper Gavin Cullen. However the ball was parried to McMillan and he reacted quickest to tap in the rebound. Harps were level within 10 minutes. Picking the ball up from around 35 yards out,Michael Funston’s spectacular effort

flew over Billy Brennan and into the net. The wet and windy conditions were a nuisance for the keepers on the night, and though Brennan was slightly off his line, Funston’s effort in truth was a fluke as it looped over the UCD keeper. But UCD showed character as they retook the lead within 60 seconds. Kilduff broke away and won a penalty after some poor Harps defending and a clumsy tackle in the penalty area. ‘Killer’ picked himself up off the ground to score the penalty and notch his 5th goal of the season. Robbie Creevy went close with a 2nd

half shot that landed on the roof of the net. But it was Harps’ Conor Gethins who had the final chance of the game, his late effort just evaded Brennan’s goal. In the end though, UCD saw out the final minutes to claim the points and stay top of the league with Shelbourne on 12 points. UCD: Brennan; Harding, E McMillan, Boyle, Shortall (Leahy 77); Mulhall, Creevy,Finn(Bolger83),Reilly(McMahon 74); D McMillan, Kilduff.

INSIDE

NOFX

RADIO RI RA

PAGE 4

GARBAGE FASHION

PAGE 10

PAGE 8

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

PAGE 6

TERRY EAGLETON

College Tribune Arts & Culture Supplement | 02.04.09

College Tribune | 1st April 2009

MUSIC

The Decemberists Remember those sometimes-beguiling, often-weird, always-ambitious rock operas from the 60’s and 70’s? The Who’s Tommy, Lou Reed’s Berlin, David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust… In all probability, Pink Floyd’s The Wall represents the perfect execution of the form. If you recognise those epics, then you will find a lot familiar with this release. If not, you might find the strived-for sophistication a tad pretentious. Either way, this record definitely deserves at least one listen and, considering how intricate the whole arrangement is, probably needs a good few. The Hazards Of Love tells the tale of Margaret, a woman from a city close to a for-

est, and her lover William, a shape-shifting forest-dweller. Honestly, bear with it. Margaret discovers that she’s up the duff and treks into the forest to find William. Over the course of the ensuing story their love is threatened by a jealous forest queen – there’s always one – and a murdering knave. The story is admittedly fairly basic, being of standard folklore fare, but that doesn’t hinder the musical output too much, with few silly moments ruining what is by-and-large a pretty enjoyable journey. The musical content itself is so seemingly unique that it is surprising when you find that it has moments of such familiarity, no doubt a result of Meloy et al pulling

together all the diverse influences that inform the overall sound and combining them with considerable skill. Riffs reminiscent of Led Zeppelin and structures gleaned from Iron Maiden and Jethro Tull abound. Bizarrely, in Hazards Of Love 2, there are climactic vocals that recall Damien Dempsey’s Ghosts Of Overdoses. Considering the fact that this is seventeen tracks long, the narrative zips along pretty well, and in any case the music is so good that it is unnecessary to pay attention to the story in order to enjoy the album. The record is knit together extremely well but this doesn’t prevent the individual songs being absolute crackers in their own

right; The Wanting Comes In Waves/Repaid, Isn’t It A Lovely Night?, The Abduction Of Margaret and the aforementioned Hazards Of Love 2 are the highlights, but there are plenty more to savour. Musically, this is an effort replete with complex arrangements and impressive instrumentation. There’s allsorts utilised here; orchestral strings, a children’s choir, five – count ‘em – guest vocalists, mandolins, and even an accordion. Producer Tucker Martine channels the various contributions together so well that the result is a lush, affecting sound, easy to engage with and certainly easy to admire. The Hazards Of Love

doesn’t quite hit the heights it’s aiming for; it’s not an absolute classic by any means. There is a tendency, as with almost all rock operas, to force the story arc forward, and this is often at the expense of natural, entertaining song-writing. Meloy sometimes seems to be holding something back and, on the rare occasion when this is the case, the output suffers as a consequence. Nonetheless, this is a truly fine effort from a group who have comprehensively shown that they are not afraid to take risks, and it marks them out as being one of the most intriguing and intelligent bands around.

Sebastian Clare

SWAN LAKES

PETER DOHERTY

DAN DEACON

ENEMY MINE

GRACE/WASTELANDS

BROMST

Swan Lakes is a collaboration between three of Canada’s brightest songwriting talents. This is the followup to 2007’s Beast Moans, which displayed an unbelievable amount of talent but also an underdevelopment of their ideas; there was far too much going on to cram into one album. Their sophomore effort sees them return with a more stripped-down and straightforward record. Each of the nine songs is beautifully crafted yet charmingly lo-fi. The lyrics remain as ambiguous and playful as expected from these writers. The shifts of tone and style are less grating as the songs themselves are structured in more collaborative ways; there’s less ‘This song is all about Dan, and this one is Spencer.’ Swan Lakes have turned themselves into a band rather than a mix-tape for brilliant solo work. The music floats from dense, over-driven guitar work to light, breezy rhythm sections and keyboard lines. This perfectly evokes sentimentality out of the songs created from the most artificial of sources; the super-group. The

fractured delivery associated with each writer here is perfectly situated. The fragility of Carey Mercer’s voice can descend into gibberish and somehow emerge triumphantly swinging. Dan Bejar sounds positively brash in comparison to the jittery nature of the other voices and lends a stability to the album that is really needed. This sort of collaboration just works perfectly for Wolf Parade’s Spencer Krug. This is a group that should never have worked with their diverse styles, penchants for over-experimentalism etc, and yet they have somehow crafted a beautiful indie record that works on so many levels. JOHN FLYNN

!"!"!"!"!

Go right ahead and exhale if you were waiting with bated breath for Peter Doherty to get his shit together. Several things have gone terribly right on Grace/Wastelands. Almost entirely absent is the outrageous self-indulgence that hampered particularly the last two Babyshambles offerings, and the traces left endear rather than exasperate. Stephen Street’s production injects coherency without bringing constraint, to a wonderfully arranged end. At Street’s suggestion, Graham Coxon’s expert hand is also well lent; indeed Coxon might just be the backbone of an album which sees various contributions, but none so solid as his. Doherty’s Babyshambles crew chip in with drums and bass on several of the songs, and Dot Allison’s smouldering vocals ensure that Sheepskin Tearaway gets the kind of lush delivery it deserves. Unsurprisingly, Peter ‘Wolfman’ Wolfe pokes his oar in, albeit on what might be one of the tenderest collaborations on the album: Broken Love Song is reminiscent

at certain moments of their beautiful 2004 ‘collaboration’ For Lovers and at other times seems fit to burst in another, more fast-paced direction. Last Of The English Roses was an obvious choice for the first single, confidently experimental while retaining the best of old cheek and a dash of mumble, the dub reggae tease is a perfect taste for what Grace/Wastelands offers as a whole. A melodic romp scanning the state of England, nodding at the past, and telling us, with a strange kind of authority, what love ain’t, Grace/ Wastelands charmed the bee’s knees right off yours truly. VANESSA BUNN

!"!"!"!"!

Dan Deacon is known for his intense live shows and kaleidoscopic music. His breakthrough album, Spiderman Of The Rings, blended highpitched voices, woody woodpecker samples, heavy drum patterns and tribal-sounding, shouting in ways that were sometimes beautiful, sometimes tacky, but always fun. Its successor, Bromst, shows a much more grown up, delicate approach. The album opens with a gradual build of piano, drums, and Deacon’s voice itself before exploding in a big singalong chant over heavy drums and syncopated synth lines. This is characteristic of the overall album, with Deacon trying to avoid the overly playful quality of his last record in order to establish himself as a serious electronic composer; but one who still shows his sense of humour, fun and the communal atmosphere in which he works. Some songs are still sketchand show that he has room to improve.

Wet Wings amounts to nothing more than an exercise in Reichian syncopation. The jarring, kaleidoscopic nature of the music means that it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but it was never meant to be. The main fault with this album is that it’s too intense; Deacon does not compromise. He makes amazingly imaginative music and ‘getting him’ requires immersion or seeing him live, but then everybody really should. SEBASTIAN CLARE

!"!"!"!"!

College Tribune | 1st April 2009

All Best Laid Plans

MUSIC

!"#$%&'&()'*+%%',*'&()#-'.)/'012+"'!11'3()'410.%'0.$'%&+..#.5'%#.51)'3)11'6)'7&8%'9,&':;)-<'=0&#)'>,$/#.'?0&?()%'+@'/#&(' A&0-%0#1,-'$-+"")-'B).'BC-.)'&,'&01D'&,'(#"'02,+&'&()'.)/'-)1)0%)%'0.$'1)0-.%'%,")',*'(#%'@(#1,%,@(#)%'-)50-$#.5'&()'"+%#?' Starsailor started out as fresh-faced and starry-eyed nineteen year olds straight out of music college back in 2001. Previous hits have been well received but Tell Me It’s Not Over has a coming of-age feel about it, as Byrne alludes to in explaining the musical content; “it’s about a friend of James’ and it’s just about relationships and how things can go wrong and stuff.” Never strangers to mixing with high society, the group have kept up their rep by having Brandon Flowers feature in the new video. Byrne elucidates what it was like working with the infamous Killers front-man, “Well everybody’s asking me that and the truth of the matter is, I didn’t actually work with him. Him and Stuart Price were working on it and they just sort of did it transatlantically. But we’ve met Brandon a few times, we’ve done shows and stuff in America with him and he’s a really lovely bloke.”

This month, Pearl Jam’s debut album, Ten, was remixed, rereleased and rejigged for the new millenium. For those unfamiliar with the album, it was the band’s breakthrough into mainstream music, springing from the musical powerhouse of Seattle, Washington – in the late 80’searly 90’s associated with other bands such as, Nirvana, Alice in Chains, the Smashing Pumpkins and Soundgarden. Part of the so-called ‘grunge’ scene, these days we’d simply call it alternative rock. It represented a new, young, angry post-Reagan America and it sounded awesome. It is also one of the most influential albums recorded since... recording began. Ten features the band’s most noteworthy tracks, Jeremy and Alive being two which often receive most attention. Jeremy, a melodic bass-and-drum-heavy track with lyrics about a boy bullied by his classmates and ignored by his parents who then goes into school and shoots up his classroom. The theme of Jeremy – now very famil-

On the subject of the Killers, Byrne reveals that he is less than impressed with Day & Age. “I’m not a big fan and I preferred their first album to be honest but yeah it’s sort of electro and I think that’s because Stuart [Price] comes from that background.” As for the single Human, Byrne is extremely baffled as to what it’s actually about. “I haven’t got a clue but somebody told me and it does my head in because I can’t remember what it means. It’s doing my head in now. That’s it; I’m going to google it.” As for their own material, Byrne’s favourite Starsailor track thus far has been Good Souls. “It’s on a really good album,” he explains, “and everyone gets really into it; it’s got a good groove and a big sort of rousing chorus.” Amongst others, he is partial to Four to the Floor, which features an orchestral ensemble in the video. Byrne approves, “Ah yeah, I like a bit of classical” but is humble enough to believe that modern day songwriters have

yet to equate to the genius of the likes of Mozart or Beethoven. “I don’t think so, we’re not quite at that standard, are we?” He laughs. Byrne talks about the dance remixes his band has done. The Thin White Duke remix of Four To The Floor is one of the more popular remixes they have done. This remixing is a major trend with plenty of indie bands. As a big fan of Prodigy, Chemical Brothers and LCD Sound System this type of dance music suits Byrne’s taste. He explains how doing dance remixes has been advantageous for his band. “Well for us, it was just a big stroke of luck really. You get sort of the French dance scene with that one and it just gives you another platform to just get a wider audience really.” While Byrne is a fan of dance, they aren’t the top rated on his Ipod. “I’m really listening a lot to the new Elbow album, I really like them and it’s just great that they’ve finally started to do really well. I’m loving the

iar in the post Columbine era – would likely be banned now as incitement. However, in perhaps more enlightened times, the highly intellectual video won Video of the Year at the 1994 VMAs, back when music could actually be about something. Alive also has a troubling theme; a young man, whose father dies when he is just a boy, grows up to look exactly like his deceased dad, to the extent that his mother – essentially, representing an extreme example of a Jocasta complex – jumps his bones. The song is also notable for its rocking riffs and two-minute solo, as well as its chorus which became the band’s anthem and a slogan for Gen-Xers. If you havent guessed yet, the reason that Ten stands out amongst its contemporary grunge albums, such as Nirvana’s Nevermind, Alice in Chains’ Dirt, Soundgarden’s Superunknown and Smashing Pumpkins’ Gish, is that it tells amazing stories while at the same time sounding incred-

ible. This is the powerful fusion of music and lyrics the band achieved. Most of the album’s music was written by bassist Jeff Ament and rhythm guitarist Stone Gossard, having previously worked together in Mother Love Bone until the untimely suicide of front man Andrew Wood. They provide much of the core raw sound; heavy riffs and bass. Lead Guitarist Mike McCready was recuited, along with drummer Dave Krussen who would only be with the band for this one record. McCready lends the band its well-known penchant for heavy solos and funky riffs. Finally, frontman Eddie Vedder, born in San Diego and therefore the only non-native of Seattle in Pearl Jam, whose powerful, deep vocals are matched only by his topical lyrics and dark subject matter. Why Go?, for example, deals with psychiatric hospitals. Even Flow addresses homelessness. The album’s opener Once is part of a trilogy of songs – along with Alive and B-side Footsteps – telling the character from Alive’s story; he goes on a killing spree and is caught in Once, and is on deathrow in

Fleet Foxes and I think their album’s really good too.” We talk about jazz, reggae and country music, and given the choice of which of the three he would listen to for the rest of his life Byrne is emphatic in choosing country “That way, you’re guaranteed Johnny Cash forever and Kris Kristofferson.” As he’s obviously a fan of the oldies, Byrne is fairly adamant that old rockers should never hang up their boots. “Well some bands like the Stones just keep going; I suppose if you can still play and put on a good show, you should keep going.” Byrne also thinks it’s important to dress well on stage. “Yeah definitely, you got to wear a shirt anyway.” The drummer from No Doubt plays wearing only a G-String but as for what would Byrne wear if he could choose only one item of clothing to wear on stage; “I’d wear one of those Borat costumes;I think it’d accentuate all me best bits. Nah I’m only kidding.”

Starsailor are going on tour this month, starting in Glasgow and travelling around the UK. When asked if he’s ever romanced any groupies and if he’s planning to on this trip, he cheekily replies, “Well I did use to romance a lot of groupies back in the old days but I’m a married man now so those days are gone by unfortunately. But it’s great, I’ve met the love of my life and I’m really happy.” Star Sailor have been pretty successful. They have released four albums and had three top 40 singles in the UK. Byrne is uncertain as to what would have befallen him had this not been the case. “I don’t know what I would have done, probably something else in music. I used to work in a pub called Bargain Booze so I might have been head of Bargain Booze now or something like that but who knows.” He finishes inquisitively. Starsailor play the Academy on the 16th of April

PEARL JAM TEN ORIGNAL RELEASE: 27 AUGUST 1991 RERELEASE:24 MARCH 2009 Footsteps. So Ten’s been rereleased, remixed and rejigged. Cynics out there will contend that this is a band on the slide after nearly twenty years of trying to make some quick cash out of past glories – a familiar theory considering that this is in vogue at the moment, with bands like Iron Maiden and Led Zeppelin back on the scene. The mere term ‘rerelease’ might make some readers cringe with thoughts of U2’s rerelease of the Joshua Tree. Not to mention that Pearl Jam only recently released a double-sided Best of, Rearviewmirror, and B-sides collection, Lost Dogs. What is different about this rerelease over the original? Well, the original is included so hardcore types can compare the two. The first disc is the

original mixing of the album, the second disc is the remix plus six bonus tracks, written at the time of the album’s recording many of which featured as b-sides on the album’s singles. Would I notice the remix, one asks? Not really, it’s subtle, and in any case it would be hard to improve upon the near perfection of the original. Perfection? Ten is probably the FINEST album released in the last two decades. Nothing else even comes close. Take advantage of its rerelease to get into the band; if you’ve never listened to them before, you might never listen to anything else ever again.

Kev Doyle

College Tribune | 1st April 2009

MUSIC

The Idiots Are Taking Over

N O F X Some bands stand the test of time better than others. Many bands have their moment in the spotlight and disappear; others seem to never go away, their early achievements enough to ensure their legacy. Even after they have long outstayed their welcome in the public eye, their name alone is enough to guarantee revenue for their record label, no matter what kind of sounds they produce. Then there are those who never really had their moment in the spotlight, happy in their own world of fast guitars, blood, and sweat, without the tears. So how does a band like that manage to not only still be around twenty-six years later, but twentysix years and over six million records later, all

the while doing this on in- fies the reason for this, that’s how I like it. The dependent labels, without “We’re not bullshitting weird thing is that I spend the outside help of MTV people, and they are so a lot of time drinking and or any other marketing sick of that. partying too, it’s not like tools? Ask Fat Mike of So many bands, they tell I go to work everyday. I NOFX; California’s most the crowd that they love go to work maybe three successful bunch days a week for two of misfits. hours, I still listen to "#$%#&'()&*+,,-./))/'0& “We bring sincergood bands, I still like ity, and we don’t 1#(1,#2&3'4&).#5&3%#&-(&-/67& music.” really give a fuck (8&).3)9&:(&;3'5&*3'4-2& Despite the fact that about what we’re this pretty much epitdoing and that’s ).#5&)#,,&).#&6%(<4&).3)&).#5& omises the laid back kind of refreshattitude of the band, ,(=#&).#;9&>.#5&4('$)&#=#'& ing for people. their commitment to We don’t try that 7'(<&).#;? touring shows where hard and we give their passion lies. our fans a lot of “We’re always tourshit.” them. They don’t even ing, we usually tour for An unusual recipe for know them.” three weeks then take six success, but one which As the co-founder, along weeks off and do that all seems to work if the with his wife, of record year.” For a group of men band’s recent form is label Fat Wreck Chords, in their forties, it’s an imanything to go by; “Our Fat Mike’s attitude to pressive routine to maincrowds have been better business is somewhat tain, yet it doesn’t seem than ever, and it’s pretty more relaxed than what to phase their youthful, cool since we’ve been you would expect from light-hearted mindset. around for so long.” someone in his position. “It’s not that hard being Fat Mike keenly identi- “I’m busy all the time; in a band, we go on tour

and play an hour and a half per place.” The band recently released the DVD of their documentary television series, NOFX: Backstage Passport. The series documented the band as they attempted to play every country they had never been to, trekking across the globe playing places as far apart as Brazil, Malaysia, Israel, and South Africa. They took the opposite path to what most distinguished bands would do: They went back to playing poorly organized shows, in obscure venues, often in the middle of nowhere, yet this did not hinder the group in any way, instead just confirming the band’s love of the unpredictable.

College Tribune | 1st April 2009

MUSIC

Random facts about NOFX !"The band got their name from an 80's band called ‘Negative FX' !"In the Simpsons Episode Bart Vs. Lisa Vs. The Third Grade, Fat Mike and El Hefe’s name appear on the wall of lost children !"At Warped Tour ‘98 in Houston, Texas NOFX thought their preformance was under par, so they threw $5,000 in $1 bills back into the audience !"NOFX has released 10 studio full lengths, 15 EPs, and many 7” singles. The group has independently sold over 6 million records worldwide

Veteran punk rockers NOFX made time amidst preparations for their forthcom ing album release to talk to Jim Scully  about the secret to their longevity “The highlight was definitely playing places no one’s played before, and just really not knowing and not caring what was going to happen”. Anyone who has seen some of the footage will understand these sentiments exactly. Watching the series, it is almost like watching the band being thrown back in time to their early days of touring, and given their attitude today, it shows that not much has changed since then. “We’re doing it so long we don’t really care that much. When things go badly or we don’t get paid or cops show up, it’s like ‘whatever!’ Give us our booze and take us to a punk club after the show and whatever.” He exclaims. “Roll with the punches”. With their eleventh studio album, Coaster, due out on April 28th, the band are set to return to the road. On the latest installment fans can

expect typical NOFX with a slight twist, “This one has more of an old school sound, more like an old LA record from 1981. It’s still a NOFX record; just we used cleaner guitars and older amps – not too weird”. First up for the band as they hit the road again is Japan, “I think Japan is my favourite country to play, it’s really fun to be in a country where the culture is completely different, but playing in Asia is always fun cause everything is weird and creepy.” From there Fat Mike and the gang make their way to Europe where they play a sold out date in Belfast and a quickly selling date in Dublin’s Olympia theatre. Given the length of time that has passed since the band last touched down on the island, they’re sure to have a different experience this time around. NOFX play the Olympia on

N O F X

A sideways look at... Corporate Sponsorship Granted, the average music lover has become accustomed to commercial heavyweights using the music business to promote their gaudy wares, particularly in the area of festivals – Heineken sponsoring Oxegen, Virgin touting the V Festival, Budweiser bringing you BudRising etc... However, that won’t prevent the ructions that are bound to reverberate as a result of the announcement made by EMI last week. The news that the industry powerhouse intends to open up its catalogue of artists to what effectively represents product placement in musical form has attracted a fairly muted reaction as yet. Nevertheless, the idea of universally well-respected artists such as Duran Duran or The Kooks essentially acting as corporate shills is sure to garner an outraged response from even their most ardent admirers. EMI posit the view that, with the continued – some would say unstoppable – success of the downloads market eating into record companies’ profits, the move was inevitable. The press release declared that “in these times of extreme financial insecurity, it is inarguably apparent that we must resolve to be more competitive”,

before elaborating, “to this end, arranging for our contracted artists to include global brands within their lyrics could potentially prove to be of significant benefit.” With The Times reporting that the average teenager now has in the region of 800 illegally-copied tracks on their portable music players, it does seem like drastic measures were required. Sharkey concurs, “I was one of those people who went around the back of the bike shed with songs I had taped off the radio the night before. But this totally dwarfs that, and anything we expected.” Industry experts even contend that the move may have come too late to stem the flow of capital exiting the coffers of the conglomerates. At the forefront was a peculiarly maritime verdict delivered by Professor Nautilus of the University of London’s Department of Music at Royal Holloway. “Loose lips sunk the ship, that ship has sailed and the rats are deserting what amounts to a sinking ship at this stage”, he observed cryptically.

ROLF PILAO

from Monday 6th April Monday 6th April:

Thursday 9th April:

Maximo Park, Academy, €25, doors at 5.30pm

Jason Mraz, Academy, €30, doors at 7pm

Tuesday 7th April:

Dark Room Notes, Academy 2, €12, doors at 8pm

The Parks, Bravado & Harrows, Eamonn Doran’s, price tbc, doors at 8pm

Eskimo Joe, Whelan’s, €16, doors at 8pm

Wednesday 8th April:

Sunday 12th April:

Bell X1, Vicar Street, €35, doors at 8.30pm

Matt Halpin Quartet, JJ Smyth’s, €10, doors at 8.30pm

Saturday 11th April:

Monday 13th April:

Go:Audio, Academy, €16, doors at 1.30pm

Gran Casino, Whelan’s, €10, doors at 8pm

Seb’s Pick

Kevin Barry & the Matinee Idylls, the Sugar Club on the 5th April

2ndFebruary April 2009 College Tribune | 3rd 2009

ARTS & CULTURE

THE PUNK OF LIT CRIT That ‘Dreadful Terry Eagleton’ as Prince Charles once called him talks to Charles O’Donnell on how he might have become a priest, the future of socialism and evangelical atheism. Terry Eagleton, often declared as the academicworld’sanswertotheSexPistols, has become a voice in British and Global society that transcends that of the literary critic. Maintaining strong religious and political convictions he has become an outspoken thorn in the side of atheists, aristocrats and capitalists. It is a long way to come from his humble beginnings in wartime Lancashire. Speaking at the Philosophy society’s inaugural lecture, he delivers a lecture on the Sublime Irish. After a quick discussion about where best to conduct the interview, the space just outside the fourth floor elevator in the Arts block is settled on. He also, reassuringly, chooses to inform me just before we start of how in his experience, Dictaphones are generally untrustworthy. With such outspoken opinions, you have to wonder what this man was like as a child. ‘I was a rather quiet and pious little child; I was an alter server. I suppose I had fairly decided views from an early age.And as I gained more confidence, I suppose the views got more articulate.’ He was born in Salford near Manchester into a poor,working class,third generation, Irish immigrant family. Subjected to the wrong side of the class divide, he was the only boy with a coat at primary school; an environment that doesn’t seem a likely candidate to produce an academic of his calibre. One becomes very aware quickly after speaking with him that something is really lacking in society today. It seems that liberal youth has blended into this entity that is more concerned with the fashion of being liberal rather than the convictions it should stand for. ‘I think that the danger today is people not having sufficiently passionate convictions. We live in a culture that is some sense wary of passionate convictions. Partly because it wrongly imagines that passionate convictionisalwaysdogmaticortyrannical. I don’t think that is true at all. ‘Even liberalism, which is about tolerating other people views, ought to be passionately committed to doing that. I think it is a matter of people having too

superficial opinions and not sufficiently deep rooted convictions.’ A conversion from a deep-rooted Catholicism to Marxism might seem unusual, but he writes in the Gatekeeper, ‘onecanmovefairlyfreely,fromCatholicism to Marxism without having to pass through liberalism.’ As a ten year old boy he became the gatekeeper at a Carmelite nuns’ convent. This role involved him participating in a ceremony that sent young women into the convent for life.This was a remarkable role

carrots. It was certainly not confessional in any sense that Oprah Winfrey would recognise.The Church set its face against all phoneysubjectivism,andwasasindifferent to individual feelings as a psychopath.’ Yet despite such apparent cynicism of certainaspectsoftheChurch,itdidn’terode his respect for religion.He remains a proud lapsed Catholic who still occasionally goes to mass, in which he likes to keep a foot in a culture that he values. It is a well known fact that he briefly considered becoming a priest. ‘I never

for a young boy to witness. ‘It was my job on these occasions to conduct the young woman’sfamilyintotheparlourtoseetheir daughter for the last time.’ He reminisces of the church with a degree of cynicism. ‘Going to confession was as emotionally stirring as buying a pound of

really wanted to be a priest but my parents wanted me to be a priest.’ A story that is not foreign to this land. He goes onto add, ‘But I used to pray to want to be a priest,’ with a sense of humour that recognizes the absurdity of such a wish. It is such an Irish story and whilst now in England, his Irish Catholic roots were still directing him to the church. In his lecture that he gives, he criticises elements of atheism today.‘They buy their atheism on the cheap. They don’t use a true version of Christianity as a target of criticism.’ By denouncing religion today people generally fail to attack the finer points of religion and generally retort to easy criticisms and obsession with the belief that one can rationalise the universe. With Marxism being in many ways a scientific approach to curing society’s ills, one wonders where an individual can

‘‘Ithinkitisamatterofpeoplehaving too superficial opinions and not sufficiently deep rooted convictions.’’

maintain an appreciation for the mystery of God. Eagleton is a big critic of Richard Dawkins and the God Delusion. He wrote an article fortheLondonReviewofBooksinwhichhe commented, ‘Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology.’ When asked if Dawkins is a mirror of the subjects of his criticism, he replies; ‘There are many affinities between them. I think you can consider someone like Richard Dawkins as an Evangelical atheist.

Dawkins rejects it while Oral Roberts and his unctuous tribe grow fat on it.’ He surprises me though when he talks about another atheist, Christopher Hitchens, who too is a focus of much criticism by Eagleton. ‘However, I don’t at all object to somebody like Christopher Hitchens who thinks that all religion is disgusting and that he should say so loud and clear. I think that is often preferable than the liberal hypocrisy that secretly believes that religion is absurd but is too polite to say so.’ He talks about what it was like coming from a humble background in Lancashire

He adds in the LRB, ‘As far as theology goes, Dawkins has an enormous amount in common with Ian Paisley and American TV evangelists. Both parties agree pretty much on what religion is; it’s just that

to such an esteemed establishment as Trinity College Cambridge. ‘At one stage it was quite a bit of a culture shock. Because Cambridge in the early 60’s was still massively generated by the English

April 2009 College Tribune | 2nd 3rd February 2009

gentry and I was at Trinity College, the most dominated by them. Nowadays things have changed to some extent in that Oxbridge is more middle class based, but in my days it was more aristocratic. The presence of the aristocracy was pretty pervasive.’ Whilst in Cambridge he was an active Marxist writing in publications such as Slant, a Marxist Catholic magazine. After obtaining an M.A. and Ph.D from Trinity College Cambridge he went on to study in Oxford in which he went on to become Thomas Wharton professor of English Literature. In his career he has wrote 29

take a more grounded view. ‘Capitalism and crisis go together like Laurel and Hardy. Capitalism is used to crisis. Crisis is built into capitalism. I think it would be very triumphilistic of the leftists to say this is the end of capitalism. ‘I think what it is an end of is a very ugly, dangerous phase of neo liberalism and the free market, unregulated capitalism. Capitalism has been badly stung. It has had its fingers burned.And I think we are likely to see other kinds of regime. ‘What is also interesting that these past few weeks for the first time we have seen the global emergence of some sort of

ARTS & CULTURE

He once wrote that, ‘Liberals, pragmatists and modernisers cling to the Utopian delusion that there is something fundamentally wrong. Conservatives see that there is something fundamentally wrong; its just they tend to be mistaken about what it is. ‘The most blatantly naïve form of idealism is not socialism, but the belief that, given enough time, capitalism will feed the world. Just how long do you let such a view run before judging it discredited? ‘Itdoesn’ttakesocialismtobringcapitalism crashing down; it only takes capitalism itself; the system is certainly capable of committing hari kari (a Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment). But it does take socialism, or something like it to, for the system to be brought down without

‘‘The most blatantly naïve form of idealism is not socialism, but the belief that, given enough time, capitalism will feedtheworld.’’

books with his most famous, Literary Theory; an Introduction, selling over a million copies. With many socialists blindly announcing that capitalism is dead, Eagleton likes to

organised reaction or protest against the crisis. We’ve seen general strikes protests bursting out all over the world. So I think if the crisis continues,we are likely to see that opposition strengthening.’

plunging us all into barbarism.’ As for if the esteemed academic fears the visual era as a predominant tool as a source of knowledge, he explains; ‘The death of literacy has been often announced. And literacy has always managed to survive in some form or other, but it is probably facing the biggest cultural assault it ever has,with the dominance of the visual.Such as shortened attention span. ‘I think that is a dangerous sign, because I think for political opposition you need reflection you need study, you need mutual education and all of these things are threatened by an instant consumer

culture.’ In his book, The Illusions of Postmodernism,where he accuses himself of ‘shameless self-plagiarism,’ he expands an element of this point; ‘Nobody who emerges from a regular eight-hours-a-day television viewing is likely to be the same self-identical subject who once conquered India or annexed the Caribbean. The epistemology of the disco or shopping mall is hardly the epistemology of the jury, chapel or voting booth.’ I ask Eagleton if he thinks that the individual is a commodity today more than ever and he comments; ‘One meaning of postmodernism is that commodification has extended well beyond the economic sense into the subjective, cultural, artistic and the psyche of the psyche.So now more and more realms of human experience are being ruled by the commodity or modeled on the form of the commodity.’ But not everything with Eagleton is so serious. In his book, The Truth About the Irish, he presents a very readable book of interesting facts of the Irish. He talks about all aspects of Irish life from the famine to the Celtic tiger to drunkenness to potatoes. This book is a must for anybody wanting to read a light-hearted but yet insightful analysis of Ireland. A particularly enjoyable excerpt was his piece on Dublin 4. ‘Some people like to think that the Loch Ness monster is a myth, though the Loch Ness Monster itself presumablywouldn’tagree.WithDublin4, it’s the other way around: the people who live there tend to think it’s a myth, whereas a lot of people who don’t live there think it’s real.’ There must be no higher accolade for someone like Eagleton to come to the attention of the royals for the wrong reasons. In response to my mention of Prince Charles calling him that ‘dreadful Terry Eagleton,’ I ask him what he would call him. He laughs and says ‘I am not sure even in these enlightened days it would even be printable. I would say that bigeared, royal parasite.’ So as a whole, life has been quite good to Eagleton.Whilst his father slaved his life in a job he despised, Eagleton got paid for

doing something he loved.‘I write as much as I do because I enjoy it, as people might enjoyfrottageorchickenlivers.Ihavenever quite got over the scandal of being paid to do what one finds gratifying.’ Iaskhimabouthislatestbook,Troublewith Strangers:AStudyofEthics.‘Hehumorously responds, ‘I write so many books it takes half of me to remember what the last one was.’ Naivelymissingthejoke,Iinformhim of its name. ‘It is arguing against ethics as something that is about inhibitions and prohibitions, instead it argues that ethics is about the fullness of life, the abundance of life and its enjoyment.Basically having a good time. If you want to be ethical, have a good time.’ He exclaims. Eagleton’s ideas may have been out of fashion for some time, but with the global crisis, it seems very likely that there might be a resurgence of such beliefs.

Eagleton’s latest book the Trouble With Strangers is out now.

College Tribune | 2nd April

FASHION

Taking Out the Trash Jessica Whyte examines the purpose of Alexander McQueen’s most recent stunt and dissects the complicated definition of fashion Thephrase“Iloveyou”isoftenregarded as the most meaningful and poignant statement in the history of the English language. For most people hearing those three little words in that exact order defines moments in their lives. When speaking of love declarations however,thestatement“Ilovefashion” is arguably one of the most offensive, even more so than “I love somebody else.” Though some readers may in fact be spared from this harsh accusation, it is sufficient to say that most will not. A simple way to work out one's fate is to answer the following question; what is the definition of fashion? Those that are even contemplating the idea of incorporating the word‘clothes’ into their answer should perhaps rethink their status as a fashionista. This in fact is the uncomfortable truth about women who claim to love fashion; they don't. They like clothes. The word fashion does mean clothes or for that matter style but fashion, by its official definition, is a current popular custom or style. Fashion is a process, a process of birth, expansion, evolution, death and resurrection. To be a fashion enthusiast, one must advance far beyond the realms of the “style gurus” of Exposé to the true fountains of inspiration; the designers of high fashion collections. Those who stubbornly maintain that they are devoted followers of fashion then should be aware of the controversial events that took place on the penultimate day of Paris fashion week

that shook the fashion industry to its very core. Teetering around a gargantuan pile of rubbish in the centre of the octagonal shapedrunwayinskyscraperheels,with ghostly white faces and exaggerated lipstick application,the McQueen models brought the vision of the Scottish born designer to life.The opening looks of the show were dazzling displays of hounds-tooth prints in both tweed and woolen fabrics which were followed by red striped two-piece suits and tailored

‘‘The controversial events that took place on the penultimate day of Paris fashion week shook the fashion industry to its very core.’’

the headpieces however,that screamed the word 'revolution' to the bewildered crowd, which included black rubbish bags, coke cans, cling-film, umbrella heads, and car hub caps. This collection captured the hearts of fashion critics from all over the world including Suzy Menkes, who described McQueen's spectacle of trash as“a shivering fashion moment- especially in these restrained times.” In the current economic climate many industry experts have been astounded at what Alexander McQueen has presented to world. It could certainly be

argued that the contrasting of rich, luxurious fabrics and prints in McQueen's garments with“trash heap” headpieces is a nod to the mass-consumerism of the past decade in Western civilisation. Now in the midst of a global recession, the world is left with little bar a mound of smouldering trash from all the material goods that have been rapidly purchased and disposed of. The silver lining to this haunting image however, is the stunning beauty of the“recycled” collection. McQueen's merging of old and new has produced a collection and indeed

dresses with bird print motifs. As the show progressed, in typical McQueen fashion, the outfits became more avant-garde leading to the grand finale of two elaborate dresses one constructed with swan feathers, the other with crows feathers. It was

Oxfam Restyled Roe McDermott rummages through the pot luck that is the charity shop and discovers an innovative new scheme which provides one-of-a-kind clothes at bargain prices So the country's falling to pieces, we have no money and once we get kicked out of U.C.D we're going to discover that our degree has not equipped us for anything vaguely resembling employment, which is about as available as a working a mobile phone after Naomi Campbell has a hissy fit.However,don’t despair; thanks to Oxfam, we can all start our job-hunt in Poland looking pretty damn good. On twelfth March, the Oxfam store on George's Street launched the first Irish Oxfam Restyled; a fifty- piece collection designed by ten up and coming fashion students.All the pieces were created from items originally sourced from the store, and the designers had three months to turn these second-hand tuxedo jackets, dressing gowns and even curtains, into high fashion outfits. The finished collection consists of some stunning pieces, including some very trendy harem pants, mini-dresses and boyfriend blazers, along with some classic prom dresses, bodice tops and pencil skirts, and of course handbags to go with them, with prices ranging from 40 to 120 euro. One of the designers, Kerry-born Niamh O'Sullivan, found the project to be simultaneouslyfunandchallenging.“Asa young designer, it was very enlightening

to rip apart such garments as men's suit jackets and see exactly how they were assembled.You are of course much more restricted when you have only a limited amount of fabric to work with but this in turn,forces you to be much more creative in your designs and approach.” Her creations boast classically feminine shapes with flamboyant embellishments

“Customizing a second hand garment guarantees a unique endproduct and it saves money.’’ and include a gold cocktail dress with an oversized gold and blue bow on the hip, a floor length black number with deep plunge neck, sequined bust and shoulder frill and a structured pink skirt with an exaggerated rear silhouette. O'Sullivan applauds the timing of the project, given that vintage clothing is in-

voguenowmorethanever.“Customizing a second hand garment guarantees a unique end-product and it saves money. What's more,vintage fabric is generally of a far better quality and will last longer.” This of course is fantastic if you have studied design,but could seem somewhat daunting to those of us without the necessary skills. O'Sullivan counters “I think anyone can make simple alterations to garments and that it's imagination which is required rather than fantastic sewing skills.” She recommends bargain hunters scope out The Harlequin, A Star is Born, Blackrock market and Toejam market in Portobello, and of course Oxfam itself. She advises Recessionistas to “look for quality fabrics or good prints. Don't be put off by shoulder pads as removing those takes five minutes. And if you buy something a few sizes too large, you can always make it smaller, or nip in the waist with a belt.” Or, of course, you could always just go to Oxfam where she and her fellow designers have already done all the hard work for you.But be warned: these pieces are flying off the shelves, so you'd better run as fast as your bargain heels will let you.

a vision unlike anything seen before by the fashion industry. Through his collection this season, McQueen not only addressed the recession he re-dressed it, by inspiring the world to take the errors of the past and transform them into dreams of the future.This is an example of fashion in its most powerful,most dynamic, most creative form. These are the moments, the shining beacons of inspiration and hope for a society whose self esteem is crumbling with its economy.

College Tribune | 2nd April 2009

FASHION

Project Catwalk As the sun finally seeps through the clouds of winter, Aoife Smyth reports about the most recent couture creations from the fashion frontline. Fashionistas everywhere come out in force over the months of February and MarchwhentheLondon,NewYork,Paris and Milan Fashion weeks all take place in quick succession. Every style savvy girl out there should sit up straight and take notice as what goes down during these weeks will potentially control their wardrobes over the following year. With all the celebrities being paid to be pictured in the front row of a designer's collection, us simple folk just wait in the shadows with bated breath to see what we will be adorned with/subjected to in the upcoming months. This year we can expect a lot of sequins, florals, goddess styles, skin colours, ruffles, hippy chic, jumpsuits, metallics and hot pinks, and that is just the tip of the fashion ice-berg. In London we saw sexy and sheer with Jasper Conran's collection. His gothesque dresses were nipped in at the waist and loose down below. Luella's collection saw the usual girlie loveliness with an edge. This season Luella rocked Misfit style skeleton t-shirts, modelled by Pixie Geldof. Designer Pam Hogg's designs brought a space age vibe to the show with her choice of bold, eighties prints. Ossie Clark's collection saw the return of the old reliable, the maxi dress with floor sweeping, boho elegance. In Paris the Lavin show brought a sixties vibetothefashionweekwithcandytones

and sequin embellishments. Chloe gave us feminine suits, flirtatious sun dresses, leather skirts teamed with blouses and jackets in colours ranging from apricot to navy. Karl Largerfield's collection for Chanel saw the usual tweed suit and

‘‘In Paris the Lavin show brought a sixties vibe to the fashion week with candy tones and sequinembellishments. ‘‘ pearls collection and branched out with flamenco style sleeves and pastel florals. Marc Jacobs collection for Louis Vuitton cleverly went global and brought an around the world vibe to the show.Sheer tops were teamed with hip skirts,angular blazers and embellished sandals. In Milan Dolce and Gabanna's collection broughtmen'spyjamasintofashioninthe form of suits and romper suits. Lingerie also seemed to be a big inspiration in this

line of clothing.Also,The boys reminded us that the nautical theme will never go out of style. Mochino's Cheap and Chic collection was designed by Rosella Jardini; instantly the word 'grunge' came to mind. A cheerful vibe radiated off the clothes and quirky hats without crowns were worn with girlie cardigans. Fendi brought girlie back with sweet, space age, sheer dresses, embellished with pink roses, lace and embroidery. In New York Matthew Williamson gave us severe patent suits and a globetrotting vibe with studding and beads. Marc Jacobs fused grunge and preppy American with faded liberty prints and military stripes. Lauren Conrad of The Hills gave us her spring collection. Her models had beach hair and sported maxi, cocktail and jersey dresses. Lauren's dresses were a muted type of sexy, meaning her models were sexy in an inadvertent way with effeminate hues and flowers in their hair. For the stylista within, these four fashion weeks can be rather overwhelming with the sheer multitude of tips and trends to take in; so I guess it's lucky our invites went missing in the post, again.

Hair, There and Everywhere Aoife Ryan lets down her locks and inspects the hair and make-up trends setting the fashion world alight this season The reclamation of denim, the wet-look legging, statement necklaces, strappy platforms, blazers and floral prints; All the big hits of this season are dramatic but yet, are not to be taken as the full package. While for some,creating a personal style from clothes to hair and make-up does not necessarily mean slavishly following the latest fashion favourites, others do develop their own taste from the professionals’ lessons. Needless to say, every single designer has a finished look to impress on their target that heavily includes the beauty branch of hair and make-up. It is, after all, the natural aspect of fashion, the hair and face, which gives theentiretyrealpersonality.Whilesuperslick straight hair has reigned for close to a decade, this year's earlier runways pre-empted the drastic change set to occur. This season's shows championed anything and everything apart from the GHD hair. The majority of the make-up palettes were correspondingly emphatic for the most part with dramatic palettes for the lips, cheeks and eyes. The word on the lipsofthedesigners,andconsequentially their models lips, not to mention eyes, cheekbones and most importantly hair,

was big. There is a certain healthiness attributed to non-ironed hair that should be celebrated here. Simple, natural, DIY hair styles were seen on catwalks internationally; such as by the designer Bora Aksu, whose models sported modest up-dos mainly consisting of pinned back front sections in buns and pinned at the crown. Equally, big hair can suggest an edgy and mad 'I've been up all night' look. Sky-scraper up-dos as well as loose styles paraded the London, New York, Paris and Milan shows. Texture and volume are the favorite consistency and are more attainable for the low-maintenance girl with styles such as high ponytails lifted from the roots with hair spray and given volume and bounce with mousse.Random loose curls draping the face, most suitably seen with dramatic red or glossed lips and a clean face, was also seen at Paul Costelloe's collection by Toni and Guy. Eccentricity and the innovation of past eras such as the 1920s were transported into modernity by the infamous Dior with puckered wine lips, cat-like blue-eye shadow and bobbed hair, accessorised with numerous hair grips around the head to create the illusion of tight waves on short hair. For those not

as daring, it would be best to stay away from startling coloured lips and eyes, as most faces cannot take this amount of make-up without looking drag-ish. Classic favourites like the smoky eye are stilldoingtheroundsintheeliteremoved world of high fashion and are easily achieved.For maximum effect,begin by

‘‘Eccentricity and the innovation of past eras such as the 1920s were t r a n s p o rt e d into modernity bytheinfamous Dior’’ outlining the inner and outer lids with black eyeliner.Using a thin brush,sweep black eye shadow into the corners of the eye and smudge under the socket line with a lighter line underneath the eye. Using a lighter shade, such as slate grey,

fill in the socket and lightly smudge up to the brow. Lastly, lashings of mascara frame and open the eye. Going back to basics does not always mean going au natural as MAC has proved with their added range of safari colours. Deep browns for the eye and bronze or gold for the lips create an earthy yet polished look. A defined cheekbone and the creation of contours are done by sweeping brown shimmers over the apple of the cheeks and the temples, and around the jaw line. The eighties are here to stay, but are a more unreliable and easily failed option so those in desire of testing it should be aware. Not all skin palettes suit bright neon colours like canary or acid yellow. In saying this, most blues tones contrast

well with a wider range of people,unlike certain neon greens which can drain the face as well as its neighbouring colours of yellow and orange. The strong earthy colours and metallic shades, and the accentuation of the cheekbones with rich browns, is another shift back into the eighties gear. For day-to-day life, choosing one or two elements of these looks is less dangerous.Ablow-dried,moussed,high pony tail with emphasized cheekbones, nude lips and lightly shaded eyes works as a day look. Sleek waves and bronzed lips move it into the night party scene. As long as it's hair-raising (literally) and one facial feature is nicely emphasised, the latest looks can be re-moulded to suit anyone.

10 IFI FILM

College Tribune | 2nd April College Tribune | 3rd February 2009

FILM

!"##$%&'()*+,"-%!.*""*/+0 LET THE RIGHT ONE IN !"!"!"!"!

Plot: Bullied schoolboy Oskar is befriended by a seemingly normal twelve year old girl, Eli who lives next door. Eli is however a vampire who has an insatiable lustforblood.Herapparentfather,Hakan murderslocalwalkersinordertofeedher hunger while also helping to conceal her truenaturefromthepublic.AsEliandOskar’s friendship grows, a group of locals band together to search for the perpetrator of the recent murders. Verdict: At times reminiscent of Pan’s Labyrinth, Tomas Alfredson’s film inquisitively explores the precise

elements and rules that constitute the myth of vampires and has already garnered a loyal following amongst horror aficionados and general audiences. The tender handling of the early adolescent relationship between Oskar and Eli is masterful even when the unique difficulty of their friendship is ignored. Eli and Hakan are both fascinatinglysympatheticcreationswhile Oskar’s persecution in school provides a concurrent arc to the story. Nicholas Broadstock

1213445%!617& LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS !"!"!"!"!

Radio RiRa- The Cosmic Presenter Raidio RíRá presenter and RTE Pulse producer Scott De Builtlear chats to Jennifer Bray about balancing college and presenting. Final year student Scott De Buitlear faces

Irish-enabled mobile phones, sponsored us

all the academic challenges that the vast

along with other Irish-language organisa-

majority of us here in UCD face.

tions. It is still broadcasting now, but only

But for Scott, the art of balance and the

online for the moment,” he says.

persistance of hard work take on new

While the radio station itself enjoyed

meanings.

massive success while it was on air, some

At 21 years of age, Scott is a producer

cynicism has been cast over

with the Cosmo in RTE, and a presenter

the relativity of the Irish language .

with the radio station RíRá.

nowadays. While the government half-

According to Scott, Raidió RíRá started

heartedly tries to push the promotion of

as a joint project between Irish DJ Dusty

Irish language through ‘20 year plans’ and

Rhodes and Conradh na Gaeilge, with help

Irish language stimuli, many still express a

from others in the Irish media.

growing apathy to a language not spoken

“We wanted to provide a chart-music radio station - presently solely in Irish Plot:Ahorrorspooffeaturingawisecracking, chubby guy (James Cordon) and a skinny, shy guy (Mathew Horne) who travel to a small town in Wales on which there’s a horrific vampire curse. The two are(unknowingly)offeredupassacrifices to lesbian vampires by the locals.The two can’t believe their luck when they wind up in a house with four beautiful girls. However, the unexplainable disappearances of three of these said girls during the night puts a damper on things and a man-on-demon battle follows.

expecting to come out enlightened but they at least predict something exciting/raunchy; unfortunately this movie doesn’t offer either. The film is filled with people flouncing around the set with crucifixes, garlic and stakes; total yawn fest. Everything in it has been done before,but better.The violence was slight, the lesbianism was virtually nonexistent but the main problem was the unoriginal and mind numbing script.

for young Irish-speakers, that would be

on a day to day basis.

similar to the likes of Spin1038 here in

Scott however, expresses a different opin-

Dublin. We started broadcasting in March

ion to this.

2008 online, but we managed to obtain a

“I could never see a time when the Irish

temporary FM-broadcasting licence for the

language could not be relevant to Ireland.

month of March this year to tie in with the

It may not be the main language of the

Seachtain na Gaeilge festival.”

Irish anymore, but that doesn’t make it ob-

Katie Godwin

The station however was not without it’s

solete; people always tell me that they try

challenges. “While there was a great reac-

and use Irish with their friends while on

tion to the station from the public, funding

holidays, because they see that everyone

Verdict:Anybodywatchingafilmentitled Lesbian Vampire Killers isn’t really

was our main obstacle to overcome.

can speak English, so speaking

Thankfully, Samsung, the first providers of

Irish is something special.

897:6;13!45%826<147&& FILM RETROSPECTIVE

TRAITOR

61&%344%974316=7

!"!"!"!"!

Plot: American citizen Samir Horn (Don Cheadle) is a former soldier and devout Muslim selling bomb detonators to Islamic radicals who eventually joining theircause. PursuedbytheF.B.I,Hornescapes the terrors of a Yemeni prison and is recruited to choreograph a large scale terrorist attack in the U.S. However, the mystery lies in determining Horn’s true allegiances and motivations as he maintains a double life. Verdict: Don Cheadle delivers a mesmerizing performance, effectively portraying the inner struggles of the character; however, the overall effect

of the film is sadly not as effective. Though it aims to deliver an intricate and complex story, Traitor undermines itself in its determination to be clever, with unnecessary and illogical plot twists. The very deliberate attempt to give a balanced portrayal of the terrorists in the film similarly seems less PC than cowardly and didactic. Attempting to be both a suspense-filled action thriller and a weighty intellectual drama, the film fails on both accounts, instead becoming a mediocre political thriller that isn’t as smart as it thinks. Roe McDermott

MyCousinVinny,releasedin1992and starring Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei, is the story of two young New Yorkers, Billy Gambini and Stan Rothenstein. WhiletravellingthroughAlabamathey neglect to pay for a can of tuna at the Sac-O-Suds Convenience store and after they leave the store, the clerk is shot and killed, and through a series of miscommunications and unfortunate coincidences the two end up being charged with the murder. Enter Billy’s lawyer cousin, Vincent LaGuardia Gambini (Pesci) from Brooklyn, who travels South to save the day with feisty fiance Mona Lisa Vito (Tomei) in tow. Pity Vinny is a

MY COUSIN VINNY

personal injury lawyer, only newly admitted to the bar (following his sixth attempt), who has no trial experience whatsoever. MyCousinVinnyisacomedybutinthis case the comedy label is not used as an excuse to forfeit a decent storyline and well developed characters. The humour here is intelligent and original, based largely on the clash between theoutspoken,ItalianAmericanVinny and the more traditional Southern folk in Alabama. This film is full of genuinely hilarious momentsasVinnytriestoovercomehis ignorance of basic court procedures, swopping his leather jacket for a

proper suit via a red velvet ensemble and using his best asset – his no bullshit,perceptive NewYork attitude, in an attempt to save his cousins life. MyCousinVinnyisthefilmthatputJoe Pesci on the map and won an Oscar for Marisa Tomei in the Best Supporting Actress Category. The comedy works as well now as when the film was first released and it’s still recognised as an important piece of cinema - only last year it was rated third by theAmerican BarAssociationintheir"The25Greatest Legal Movies of All Time”. Seventeen years old this month and My Cousin Vinny is as good as ever. Orla Kenny

College Tribune | 3rd 2ndFebruary April 2009 2009

MUSIC FILM

5 films to get you in a...

TRAVELLINGMOOD Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Borat

This psychedelic movie is a must see if you’re planning to embark on one of those crazy (and illegal) holidays this summer.It’s about a whacko journalist,his lawyer and the bizarre adventures they have on their journey to Vegas and during their stay there.They head off down a sunny highway with a suitcase full of drugs which they can’t resist tucking into whilsttheydrive.Theystealacarbrokerspen, try to kill a bat with a fly swatter and cause a hitch hiker to jump out of their car in terror but these things are nothing compared to the strange things they see when the drugs really start to kick in…tripping much? Priscilla Queen of the Desert

Recently, we’ve seen Ireland -

speedily preparing his next day of

Dublin in particular - becoming

college, presenting and producing.

more multicultural. I’m so proud

“I try and keep it all going, but

of being able to speak Irish

sometimes I favour my career.

because it is one of the few things

Thankfully, I’ve only four weeks

that proves my Irishness - it’s

left of being in UCD, then I can

a type of cultural ID-card, or

fully focus on my career!”.

passport,” he concludes, before

A transit van loaded with drag queens, ribbons and ABBA music driving around Australia,what could be any more fun?Three men/women journey into a homophobic world, performing 80s dance routines and battling those who frown upon them with a powerful, humorous wit as well as a few unexpected punches. This film just screams ‘road trip’ so loudly it hurts. Although for these drags it’s more than just a road trip but a journey on which each of them have to combat their loneliness and exclusion. This is a really heart warming movie and captures the closeness that people feel towards each other when holidaying together.

Borat may not be the stereotypical holidaymaker movie but it reminds you of the weird and hilarious people and customs you encounter while travelling abroad.The film is a mockumentary which voices stereotypical (and usually incorrect) views people have about foreign culture.Borat,a representative from ‘The Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’ travels around America meeting with people who try to teach him how to be ‘civilised’ and teach himAmerican etiquette; unfortunately for him, he ends up unintentionally offending everybody that tries to teach him when he voices the stereotypical views of his homeland. Chaotic culture-clashing brilliance! How Stella Got Her Groove Back On

Into the Wild

PICK OF THE WEEK

Sceptical Poppycock Plot: Religulous is a documentary style film in which Bill Maher, a politically incorrect comedian, makes amockeryofreligiousbeliefs.Focusing mainly on Catholicism but also emphasising the more bizarre practices of Judaism, Scientology and others, he tours the globe interviewing religious quacks. These include an orthodox Jew who attended Iran’s conference on Holocaust denial and a Miami minister who has claimed to be the second coming of JesusChristandhas100,000followers. As well as portraying the comic side, Maher tries to underline the se-

RELIGULOUS !"!"!"!"!

rious point concerning the fact that religion is becoming the ruin of the human race. Verdict: His smugness and self righteous attitude toward the people that he interviews distorts and aggravates the serious message he’s trying to get across as well as dampening his wit. Although some of his interviewees have interesting things to say, Maher often cuts them off with an arrogant joke or ridiculing laugh and it’s obvious that he’s more interested in being funny than in investigating the plausibility

of religious faith or how damaging it can be. The documentary has a clear direction and Maher is determined to follow it even if this means mercilessly cutting interviews to suit his needs, only interviewing select religious, non-intellectual extremists and putting in funny movie clips and words over the screen while his interviewees are talking. The film is more like a mocumentary in that it highlights only the ridiculous, pushing any hope for intellectual stimulation under the carpet. Katie Godwin

If you feel like your living in a world full of ignorant hypocrites then this movie might inspire you to take a break away from it all and find some peace and quiet like its main character Christopher McCandless did. Christopher is angered by his dishonest parents and seemingly meaningless life and decides to give up everything and try to find himself by journeying to Alaska without money or supplies. While his parents start to miss and truly care about him back home, Christopher meets a string of different characters that shape his life and destiny.

Beautiful people having sexy fun in Jamaica was never going to make an-Oscar winning picture or give us anything to debate about. However this film isn’t about being intelligent but simply guilt-free escapism. What it really tells us is to get our sorrowful selves out of IrelandandgosomewherenicelikeStelladid. Starting out in the movie as a stockbroker in San Francisco,Stella holidays to Jamaica and begins to revaluate her life and her concepts of love, sex and motherhood after an exotic relationship she has with a toy boy whilst there. As a movie though, it ain’t got much groove. Katie Godwin

College Tribune 2nd April2009 College Tribune | 3rd| February

THE SKIP

DELECATBLE EASTER DELIGHTS Marcus O’Laoire gets back in the kitchen to whip up some scrumptious Easter recipes for the gastronomically challenged students of In the spirit of Easter and all that goes with it, this week I'll be giving you two delicious recipes to Smoked salmon carbonara with a chive vinaigrette.

Marcus's Easter Chocolate Mousse. This is amazingly simple to make, will impress any guests and tastes great with a bit of baileys too

Serves 3 You will need; For the pasta; Enough pasta for 3 people, preferably spaghetti A decent amount of smoked salmon (Places like Tesco do reasonably priced packs of smoked salmon if you want to keep it cheap.) 3 eggs 50 grams grated Parmesan Salt and pepper

You will need; 3 large eggs About 150/200 grams of chocolate, try and go for something like Bourneville as its affordable but still has a reasonable cocoa content. A knob of butter 40 grams of sugar Chocolate Mini eggs

For the vinaigrette; 4 tablespoons olive oil 1 tablespoon wine vinegar 1 teaspoon mustard (grain works best) A couple of pinches of chives Pepper Little bit of salt

How to do it;

The nature of a carbonara is that it’s amazingly quick to prepare but it’s all in the timing. 1. Chop your salmon into small squares. 2. Put your water to boil with a bit of salt and olive oil 3. Mix all the ingredients of the vinaigrette together and make sure they mix properly, adjust to personal taste. 4. Crack eggs into a bowl, add your grated parmesan and pepper. 5. Provided the water is boiling at a good rate, chuck the pasta in, make sure the water covers it entirely. 6. Chill for a few minutes, crack open a beer and turn on some music. 7. Give your pasta a good stir, making sure that

its still all covered by the water. most pasta will cook perfectly in 11-13 minutes depending on the quantity which you use. Always have a taste to check the texture. 8. When the pasta is done, quickly drain it, throw it into a large bowl and pour the egg and cheese mix over it, give it a whopper stir to make sure all the pasta is coated 9. The heat from the pasta will cook the eggs very quickly so after stirring everything for about 25/30 seconds, throw in your salmon. 10. Finish it with some more chives, some grated parmesan and a bit of pepper.

BOOK REVIEW

6. When it’s cooled to about body temperature, add the egg yolks and stir well. 7. Whisk the egg whites with a pinch of salt until they form stiff peaks and are well fluffed up 8. Fold in the chocolate mix gently into the egg whites until they are fully combined. 9. Put the mix in the fridge for 3/4 hours to set and then cover with mini eggs for that brilliant Easter touch. 10. Once Easter rolls around, use broken bits of chocolate egg as a spoon. Awesome. Also, don’t be shy with this recipe; try different types of chocolate such as caramel and mint, and try putting it in the freezer too, to make a parfait. Happy Easter everyone!

CAPTURING CONDENADOS

Enjoy the Silence

DECEMBER ELIZABETH WIN-

Decemberisthestoryofeleven-year-oldIsabel, who has not spoken in almost a year and her parents, Ruth and Wilson, who must try and solve the mystery of their silent daughter. The couple become convinced that the key to Isabel’s silence lies in her sketch books; Wilson obsesses over a drawing of a lion, planning a month-long trip to Africa which he is certain will make her speak again. Ruth brings the sketches to a psychiatrist, believing he can ‘cure’ their daughter. As it turns out, Isabel’s silence has nothing to do with her drawings, or anything else really. A strange sort of girl with all kinds of eccentricities and probably suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,Isabel simply decided one day that she would not speak. She then became trapped within her own rules, unable to break the silence, even when

1. Set up a Bain Marie, this is a saucepan with a tiny bit of boiling water in it, with a bowl held in it, better if its not touching the water here. It stops the chocolate from burning and going coarse. 2. With your Bain set up, break up your chocolate and put it in together with the sugar and let it melt gently, should only take about 10 minutes until it has a smooth consistency. 3. While the chocolate melts stir it constantly. 4. Break and separate your eggs into separate bowls, with the whites going into a larger one. 5. When your chocolate is silky and melted stir in the butter and when it is melted take the bowl off the heat and allow it to start to cool.

she sees the pain she is causing her family, and indeed herself. The story is also about Ruth and Wilson and the strain Isabel’s behaviour has put on their relationship. Wilson particularly is a loveable character, for whom you can’t help but feel sorry as he desperately tries to make Isabel speak using every bribe you can imagine. The plot of December sometimes seems to run thin and the ending is not nearly as dramatic as it could, or should be. As a cautionary tale about the importance of communication in relationships and an insight into child psychology, it’s a definite thinker. But if you’re just looking for a good story with a juicy mystery and a satisfying conclusion, look elsewhere. Susanne O Reilly

The Spanish Theatre Project has been running for five years but the latest production, Condenados, is different. “Instead of one play with one director, and one set of actors, we have three contemporary plays each with different directors and it is a seriously different challenge: with constraints on time, budget, and cast you have to take parts of a play and try give it coherence meaning” explains Mathew Callaghan, one of the three directors. Anita Hyland, who is also directing, acknowledges that it is a challenge but says that they are not left up to their own devices. “For all those moments of, “Ah crap, what are we doing”, we have had the patient ear and reassuring advice of the project coordinator, Peter Lahiff, who directed the play for the last two years”. The plays are; Los Ninos Perdidos (The Lost Children) about the children of dead or imprisoned Republicans who were hidden away in orphanages during the Franco Period, Presas (The Prisoners) about a women’s prison of the same period, and La Muerte y La Doncella (Death and the Maiden), about justice for those who were abducted and tortured during a former dictatorial regime. They are directed by Hyland, Callaghan, and Michael

Fahey, respectively. “The three plays are about captivity and what it does to people, the captors and the captured. We want it to be about more than Spanish history. Many countries have guilty memories of these different kinds of captivity, even Ireland,” explains Hyland. “These plays look at wounds not healed; stories not told; atrocities still not accounted for; and lessons not yet learned,” adds Callaghan. As for the actors, learning lines in a language which is not your own is no easy task. The 14 of them are putting a lot of work into it with rehearsals two to three times a week in addition to finding time to learn their own lines. They are, like final Arts student Maria Fox, both nervous and excited. “I'm as nervous as anybody would be especially when the performance isn't in your mother-tongue but I'm also excited to see how something we have worked hard on will come across to the audience.” The directors can see that the hard work is showing results. As Hyland says, “One day the actors are shyly scuffing their boots and mumbling lines saying sorry every five words, but by the end of it we will be able to look back at all our hard work and preparation and