Working Toward a World Without Sexual Assault

Working Toward a World Without

WE’VE ALL SEEN IT HAPPEN.

A woman comes forward about a sexual assault and among the first questions she’s asked are: “What were you wearing?” “How much did you have to drink?”

Even today, in 2022, despite the awareness created by the “me too” movement and the abundance of conversations about believing women and supporting survivors, women who have been assaulted still hesitate to come forward and/ or press charges. Why?

Laura Luciano, Maryland, associate director of Violence Prevention and Victim Assistance at Rutgers UniversityCamden, shared the factors that affect why a woman reports her assault and that most survivors will disclose to a friend within 24 hours of an assault occurring.

“The first thing that impacts a person is victim blaming,” she says. “Either their own perceived blame of what happened or the message they’re getting from others about their responsibility.” Laura explains that these messages can be direct—someone says something to them specifically about their behavior— or indirect, like media messages, the overall national narrative or how other survivors have been treated.

There’s also this hesitation to get someone in trouble— especially since the majority of sexual assaults are committed by an acquaintance.

“I often hear ‘I don’t want to report that. I don’t want to get that person in trouble. I don’t want them to get punished,’” says Laura. “I think all of that comes into play. Somehow, the survivor is responsible for what happens next, rather than that being a consequence of someone’s action.”

By Amanda Milford, Texas/Arlington

ONE IN FOUR

Tri Delta volunteers and staff have seen this type of scenario play out in chapters again and again, as we continue to see increasing instances of sexual assault on college campuses. —specifically in fraternity houses and at fraternity parties.

During the 2021-2022 academic year, Tri Delta saw a measurable increase in incident reporting from our collegiate chapters in matters involving sexual assault. This tracks with wider statistics on college campuses.

The National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) reports that approximately 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted while in college. At the same time, according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), only 20% of college-aged women report the assault to law enforcement. Laura shares that the level of perceived support—whether from a friend, organization, institution or law enforcement— is another of the determining factors for whether a survivor will report their assault. “What we know from data is that students who believe the school will respond and be helpful are more likely to report than those who think the school won’t take it seriously,” she says.

One Tri Delta staff member recalls speaking with a survivor who reached out to her university for mental health support,

but the university kept pointing her to a different office each time, essentially giving her the runaround. This sort of institutional re-victimization only adds to the lack of reporting by our collegians. “It’s hard because I want to say to use your resources and to trust your community, but that doesn’t always meet the expectations we’d like to have for our universities,” said the staff member. “All it takes is for that to happen one time to break the trust. She knows she’s not going to receive the support she needs.”

“IT’S OK. YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO.”

The level of perceived support doesn’t just include the university. It includes Tri Delta, a survivor’s individual chapter—and the Greek community as a whole.

As hard as it is to hear, sorority women who come forward as survivors of sexual assault are often faced with social ostracization, from both the fraternity men and their sisters who don’t want to give up the social capital they gain from socializing with the fraternity.

Imagine being told by a well-meaning Tri Delta sister that you don’t have to attend the upcoming date party with a popular fraternity on campus. You confided in her that at a previous party with that same fraternity one of the members had assaulted you. Rather than cutting ties with the fraternity and demanding the member be held responsible, the solution is “you can stay home.”

The message being sent when a chapter sister tells someone they don’t have to attend an event with a fraternity whose member assaulted them is not one of support. They may think they’re giving the survivor an out, but the underlying message is loud and clear: We’re picking this fraternity over you.

They’re giving the survivor an out, but the underlying message is loud and clear: We’re picking this fraternity over you.

Similarly, the chapter may add the assaulter to a list of men no longer allowed to attend chapter events and sisters may warn each other privately about being alone with that particular fraternity member—but what they rarely do is stand up in

support of their sister and demand justice.

This is something Tri Delta seeks to change as we work to create a world without sexual assault.

CHALLENGING TRADITIONS

This past academic year, we saw protest after protest erupt on college campuses calling for the ban of Greek life following multiple incidents of assault and rape in fraternity houses. At the University of Iowa, two fraternity members were reported to have filmed themselves assaulting a Tri Delta collegian, then a member of our Phi Chapter, but were never prosecuted. Meanwhile, the same fraternity was the target of protests at the University of Nebraska after a member of that chapter was also accused of assaulting a woman at a party. At Northwestern University, multiple individuals reported being drugged at two different fraternity parties on the same weekend, sparking protests there.

Studies have found that men who join fraternities are three times more likely to commit rape than their non-Greek counterparts. And the stark truth is that, often, the risk of being of drugged or assaulted at certain fraternity houses is a seemingly open secret on campus. The phrase “rapey” was used to describe particularly dangerous fraternities in "The Hunting Ground," a documentary on campus sexual assault.

This adjective has since become normalized to the point that it’s used by students and young people on college campuses across the country.

Still, there’s a lot of pressure being placed on sorority women to change the current culture along with a century-plus-old Greek system. Why is that same amount of pressure and expectation not being placed on fraternity men who are the ones actually committing the vast majority of the crimes?

From what Tri Delta has seen, our women find it difficult to take meaningful action to change this culture—understandably so, given the complexities of the issue. They’re also afraid of the backlash and social repercussions of doing so.

So, instead of standing up and saying they will cut all ties and no longer socialize with a problematic fraternity, they just quietly keep a list of a few specific members no longer welcome at their parties. And they tell their members they don’t need to attend these events if they’re uncomfortable.

And, while it’s easy for volunteers, advisors and staff at the chapter, campus and national levels to tell chapters not to socialize with a fraternity or not to participate in their

philanthropy events, it’s much harder for chapters to put that into practice. Why?

Because women still believe that men’s fraternities hold most of the social capital on college campuses.

SUPPORTING SURVIVORS

There are ways our women can start taking steps to stand up to rape culture on campus: Supporting survivors is first and foremost.

“What I see most frequently is a disbelief of survivors and this unwillingness to change social situations based on what a survivor is telling us,” says Laura. “What I would like sorority women to do is to support their sisters. A survivor of sexual violence has no reason to lie. They gain nothing from lying—they’re more likely to be socially shunned if they come forward as survivor. People should think about that before they don’t believe someone.”

Chapters also need to take a step back to truly examine and question their traditions and practices.

Laura suggests examining the goal of events and social situations and asking: What is the purpose of this date night or mixer? Is there something you can do instead for this purpose? Is your theme problematic?

Chapters should also be very mindful of practices that inherently support rape culture, such as the idea of “ratio” at a fraternity party—that there must be a certain number of women at an event to ensure the party has many more women than men.

“It’s always important to go back to our core tenets,” says Laura. “Who are we as Tri Delta women? What are the values we care about as Tri Delta women? The social aspect is part of it for many women, but that’s not the only part. What other values do we hold as an organization that are important to us as individuals? If we go back to those values, we can clearly see that some of these activities and behaviors are not in line with our core values.”

There’s only so much one chapter can do on its campus, but the most powerful way we can change the culture and hold men’s fraternities accountable is by joining together with other women’s sororities to use our collective voice.

CREATING CHANGE TOGETHER

While recognizing and promoting Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April of each year remains important to Tri Delta and other women’s organizations, we have become all too aware that this must be a year-round priority. And action, progress and lasting change cannot wait until the next April.

There are recent instances of sorority women boldly banding together to use their collective power to stand up against fraternities on their campuses, and each is an excellent example and roadmap that chapters on other campuses can follow.

The Panhellenic Council at Temple University issued a statement on member safety, outlining the steps they wanted their campus Interfraternity Council (IFC) to take to address the Greek community’s culture of sexual assault. These included six demands regarding social events and risk management, training and education, and health and safety plans. As a group of women’s Greek organizations, they came together to stop all events with IFC organizations until their demands were met. “Until health and safety are at the forefront of the conversation with the IFC, we cannot, in good conscience, continue to engage in social, philanthropic, or service events in partnership with their organizations,” the statement said.

There was almost a show of solidarity at Washington State University (WSU) when our Theta Nu Chapter worked with the chapter presidents of the 14 NPC organizations to share a unified voice in a letter of appeal to a fraternity after an incident involving a Tri Delta member. The letter called for the national organization to hold individual fraternity members accountable for their actions and advocated for the leaders of the chapter at WSU, asking for national support and guidance as these young men fight to reform the attitudes and abusive practices among chapter members. In the end the letter didn’t garner every organization’s support and was never sent.

“What I would like sorority women to do is to support their sisters. A survivor of sexual violence has no reason to lie. They gain nothing from lying.’’

Laura also gives an example on another campus where the women’s organizations came together to refuse to participate in a fraternity’s fundraising event because a member of that chapter had been accused of sexual assault by multiple women.

“It was them being brave and saying, ‘We’re not going to be part of it if this person continues to be involved. We’ll come up with alternative options.’ It was them taking a stand. They did that for their sisters.”

These are powerful examples of how sorority women can, and should, use our collective voice to press for change in the Greek community. Tri Delta is a women’s organization first and a Greek organization second. Our focus and our loyalty must lie with supporting, educating, protecting and empowering all women on our campuses and in our communities. That means our chapters must stand up for survivors of sexual assault and demand long overdue change, even when it means breaking ties with fraternities on our campuses.

It will not be easy. This sort of purposeful effort toward lasting change will require us to be brave, bold and kind—in overwhelming numbers and for as long as it takes. We can and we must. Because one in four is one too many, and sisters needing to staying home to stay safe is simply unacceptable.

“I’m glad Tri Delta is focusing on this conversation.”

We are grateful to the many women who shared their experiences and expertise for this article. In addition to lending her professional knowledge to The Trident, Laura Luciano, Maryland, appeared earlier this year on the Let’s Talk Tri Delta podcast. In Episode 104, she talked about making sexual assault awareness a year-long cause and how to best support and believe survivors of assault through education and bystander interventions.

Thankful for Laura’s efforts, too, is alumna Kristen Kozel, Texas. Kristen wrote to us, sharing her appreciation for the podcast and wishing she and her chapter sisters had had these frank conversations and resources in their collegiate days. She wrote, “I'm glad Tri Delta is focusing on this conversation at the collegiate level and wish this was a resource I had. I look back on my 20 years in the working world and I'm saddened to realize I have experienced some level of sexual harassment or assault in every role I've had. It was 15 years in that someone finally gave me the resources I needed to stand up for myself and say something. I had to learn what constituted sexual harassment and assault, what I could actually do about it, and what someone could not do to me because of it.”

It’s because of our current collegians, Tri Deltas still to come and the encouragement of alumnae like Laura and Kristen that we continue to strive for a world without sexual violence.