THE LIST

VALLEY

Traffic jams near Route 22 are easier to swallow stranded by the Scholl Orchards farm stand, a Bethlehem beacon since 1948. Hassles magically untangle just by looking at the neat arrangements of fruits, vegetables and firewood outside a warmly lit, downright homey twodoor garage fronting Bethlehem’s only commercial orchard. Everything—beets, cherries, eggplants, pears, pumpkins, shallots—tastes as good as it looks, a badge of honor from fourth-generation family farmers who treat plants kindly and pests carefully. Gutsy raw honey blasts local allergies with horseradish lustiness. Meatloaf is zinged up by an appealingly sharp, smoky—homemade ketchup sweetened by concentrated white grape juice. A bounty of young apple varieties—Ludacrisp, Rosalee, Sweet Zinger—are delightfully crunchy with delicate floral/tropical notes that blossom and linger. They whisk me to the Scholls’ 80-acre orchard in Kempton, a group of gracefully rolling groves as charmingly folksy as a Grant Wood landscape. (3057 Center St. by Johnston Drive, two blocks south of Route 22, Bethlehem)

John Lennon wrote “Julia” on one. Courtney Love unplugged her MTV Unplugged special by smashing one. Eric Clapton wants to be reincarnated as one. All three ones play roles in the Martin Guitar Museum, a splendid shrine to a company renowned for crafting acoustic instruments renowned for playability and presence. Handsome display cases packed with artifacts and art illustrate a two-continent, four-century history of family dynamics, technology bursts, outer-space designs and capitalizing on crazes: the ’60s folk-music boom; the ’20s ukulele revolution; the ’30s Depression, which Gene Autry helped offset by commissioning the unusually big, bold D-45, a popular treasure destined to become Mr. Clapton’s resurrection vessel. The exhibit, a mainstay at Martin’s factory, is impressively balanced between rarities (one of 91 D-45s made before World War II), beauties (a spectacular peacock inlay), curiosities (a 1902 00-45S prototype auctioned by actor/humanitarian Richard Gere to aid Tibetan charities) and oddities (a guitar body copying the apocalyptic cover art for the Louvin Brothers’ album Satan Is Real). All in all the tour is a real tour de force. (510 Sycamore St., Nazareth; 610-759-2837; martinguitar.com)

Emmaus has three book stores, a bonanza for a borough of 11,000 or so souls. Behind the Colonial picture window of Let’s Play Books is a cheerful Old Curiosity Shop of new volumes ranging from Louise Penny novels to Clint and Ron Howard’s memoir of growing up actors to a rainbow coalition of tales for kids and parents (i.e., Ben and the Emancipation Proclamation). A staircase painted with evergreen titles—Charlotte’s Web, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn—leads to a pleasant third-floor reading room, a lair with flair for wannabe Harry

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—GEOFF GEHMAN

CITY

There’s always hope and wonder entering a new year, yes? Like, I wonder what the hell lousy can occur in 2022? Even when you had a December of local liberal congresspeople getting jumped, attorneys leaving the DA’s office, record murders rate tallies, and the Eagles head coach getting COVID going into the playoffs?

2022 and January, right? It’s going to be much better? Please.

Starting any year with Jerry Blavat, the Geator with the Heater is always a party with good vibes and great music in the air. You can’t feel bad at a Boss with the Hot Sauce event. To that end, January 22’s Jerry Blavat and Friends gathering on at the Kimmel Center could very well be his best—and that’s saying something knowing well who has trod the stage with Blavat and his large scale live orchestra. Along with the first appearance by his old pal and Philly’s own Frankie Avalon, the Geator welcomes Darlene Love, Little Anthony, Gary US Bonds, Eddie Holman, The Chi-Lites The Vogues, and more to sing their hits, their rarities, and just gab with The Geator. Be there, especially since I have heard nothing about Blavat’s usual annual competition, the Academy Ball happening down the street at the Academy of Music.

Everything Harry Potter. Along with the due-soon SOLD OUT Franklin Institute exhibition of Potter ephemera and the release of the Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts, your year commences on the nerdiest, too fantastical note steered by a woman who will forever go down in history as transphobic. Enjoy.

Stellllllllllllllllllllllllllllla. Terrence J. Nolen’s Arden Theatre Company returns to the live-action stages of Old City Philadelphia with the Tennessee Williams’ classic touching on class, mental health, misogyny, feminism, and more. Wait, when was this written?

WWE Raw. January 10 at the Wells Fargo Center. Of all the things that we didn’t miss doing or need to be a part of during the pandemic’s quarantine, wrestling is at the very top of that list. Grrrrrrrrr.

All things David Bowie. After a year of being away due to the pandemic, this city’s David Bowie party—Philly Loves Bowie Week, extended beyond seven days into January 7-16, with the tagline, “Celebrating the City of Brotherly Love for The Starman”—features everything from Ziggy Stardust-themed ice cream eating, art gallery exhibitions, masquerade balls, concerts, beer tastings and more.

I know you hate Roger Waters because he is a blow-hard asshole who shows his disdain for Israel at every opportunity and really does

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—A.D. AMOROSI