RELATIONSHIPS: Sibling support when you're a long way from home

Aquinne Wijewardene followed in older sister Saskia’s footsteps to Trinity’s Pathways School, and then Residential College. The duo, who are 18 months apart in age, grew up in Colombo, Sri Lanka, and moved to Melbourne in 2020 and 2019 respectively. We talk to them about their journey and what it’s like to attend Trinity with a sibling.

How would you describe your upbringing in Colombo?

SASKIA: We grew up in a bilingual household where we spoke both English and Sinhala. I’d say we come from a privileged background in that our parents worked really hard to ensure my brother and I received a good education and had the best opportunities possible. Our parents also made sure we didn’t forget our nationality, our culture, and the little things that make us Sri Lankan.

AQUINNE: I agree that we have been very lucky in that sense, and we were also taught to care for other people and learnt the importance of doing charity and being compassionate.

Were you close growing up?

SASKIA: We fought a lot … [laughs] … about literally anything. ‘I’m not touching you, you’re touching me’, ‘You’re still too close!’, ‘You’re eating too loud!’ – that kind of thing.

AQUINNE: We fought a lot but that changed as we got older, and once we started living in Melbourne, we became a lot closer.

SASKIA: Now we live less than two minutes away from each other on campus and I would 100 per cent say he’s my best friend … And I love how he hasn’t said anything back … [laughs]

AQUINNE: No, we are. We definitely are.

Was studying overseas always part of the plan?

SASKIA: Yes, always.

Why did you choose Melbourne?

SASKIA: My parents didn’t want me going to the US and I didn’t want to go to the UK because it’s too cold. I actually applied for a liberal arts university in Abu Dhabi but was waitlisted, then I found out about a ‘fantastic foundation studies program in Melbourne’ from a guidance counsellor. I was told it would let me take foundation classes for one year while I decided what to study at uni, as I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do when I left school. I’m so happy I ended up in Melbourne. Then he just followed as he saw how good I was having it.

AQUINNE: I thought it would be convenient to have us both in one place and when I visited Melbourne to drop Saskia off in 2019, I knew it was a place I wanted to live. But, really, after leaving school, everything’s been guided by Saskia. She’s like my guidance counsellor, she’s everything to me.

Saskia, what was it like knowing Aquinne was studying at the Pathways School while you were living in the Residential College?

SASKIA: Well, we were in lockdown for a long time and Aquinne lived in the city, so he would cycle up to the gate and bring me snacks, as nobody was allowed on campus. Once the lockdowns eased we would go and see each other, and now we make sure to go for coffee at least once a week to catch up.

What has it been like having each other close given the current economic and humanitarian crisis in Sri Lanka?

AQUINNE: It gives both us and our parents a bit of relief, knowing that we’re safe and well in Australia. Though you do feel a bit guilty because you’re here, halfway across the world, and have all the privileges, whereas in Sri Lanka at the moment, they don’t have fuel, they don’t have electricity. We have both been to visit but then we can come back to our airconditioning and nice food.

SASKIA: I agree with that sentiment. I felt really guilty watching the protests and hearing that my parents were lining up overnight just to fill up on fuel. But, for our parents, they now know that everything they worked for, everything they did to ensure we had the opportunities to have a good life, have paid off.

Aquinne, how much did you know about the Residential College before you joined?

AQUINNE: Because we were in lockdown, nearly everything I knew about the Residential College was from Saskia. I sort of went in blind. She said to apply, so I did, and here we are.

Is there anything that has surprised you about each other since being in College?

SASKIA: He’s a very strong debater. I hadn’t realised this.

AQUINNE: She’s a bit quieter than I imagined, because, growing up, she always had to have the last word. I remember on our drives home from school, she used to talk and talk, and I used to just sit and look out the window because I couldn’t get a word in.

SASKIA: I have the potential to keep my mouth shut. Who knew?

What’s the best thing about having a sibling at College?

SASKIA: Often when you have a sibling at College, you know that they’re always going to be there for you, especially if, like us, you’ve travelled across oceans and are far away from family. It’s nice to have each other.

AQUINNE: Being the good brother that I am, I’ll let her have the last word.