It’s OK to not be OK

Each year during Blue Tree Week at Trinity College, students immerse themselves in a range of activities to help raise awareness and spark those difficult conversations about mental health.

Year 12 and Prefect student Max took the courageous step during the College’s annual Blue Tree Week to share his personal mental health story to help others understand what it can mean to ‘not be okay’ and help break down the stigma that is largely attached to mental health in young men. Max, alongside 2022 Young West Australian of the Year and Blue Tree Project CEO, Kendall Whyte, unveiled a wall at the College, dedicated to Max’s story and to serve as a daily reminder to all students that ,it’s okay to not be okay,. I’m Max Beros, a Year 12 student and a College Prefect. As daunting as it may be, today my goal is to share my mental health story in the hope that if it assists just one boy in having the courage to seek help then I have made a difference. My Trinity College journey started way back in Year 4 2014, eight years ago. I was quite a shy person and didn’t say much in my first couple of days at school. I only knew one person at Trinity when I started. Walking into such a massive school, I felt like a grain of rice in hectares of paddocks but eventually I began to find my feet by the end of Year 4. In Years 5 and 6, I made strong friendships, many of which are still my friends to this day. High school marks a new chapter in everyone’s life. For me I settled in reasonably well; however, in saying that I had anxiety about a couple things. The main one was playing sport. Upon reflection this was because when I was playing footy in

Year 6 I got a concussion. This scared me at the time and played with my mind, and

I really didn’t want it to happen again.

That nauseous feeling kept returning every time I played sport! I was adamant that something was wrong with me, but mental health never came to mind. I attended numerous MRIs and neurologist appointments. Out of fear I didn’t play winter sport in Year 7. As long as I wasn’t exercising, I seemed okay. It was coming to the end of the school year, and I remember exactly the day. It was the fourth last day of Year 7. I walked out of PCG that morning and I got that nauseous feeling. All of a sudden, I had to sit and couldn’t move. Going home that day, not wanting to see anyone from my school out of embarrassment, was one of the most isolated feelings I have experienced. I knew Year 8 would be tough. Over the summer I didn’t leave the house, I sat at home and tried to avoid any social activities. Year 8 didn’t start well. It became a snowball effect; my anxiety was increasing and I was on the downward spiral. I didn’t go to school for the first week of Year 8. The second week I only made it for three days. From that point on until Term 4 school was a daily challenge. In Term 4 and with constant support from my family, teachers and school psychologist I was finally able to swing together a full five-day week. This was a massive achievement, especially for my family. Missing important events like family birthdays, school socials or big sporting events made me think I didn’t want my life to be like this at all. My head was filled with negative thoughts and I would lay at home in bed, thinking how do I come out of this.

Max’s Story

Year 8/9 summer was no better than my last. Staying home and avoiding it became my new normal. At the start of Year 9 I sought help from professionals both in and out of school and began to learn more about what was happening. I had to accept that ‘it’s ok not to be ok’ and embrace the challenges I had faced. Until I acknowledged this, things were not going to improve. Right away, things started to look up. I was able to hang out with my mates again, and not have to spend recess and lunch in a classroom by myself. Instead of thinking mental health made me weak, I started to accept it. I was involved in school much more and I even got back to doing what I love...sport. Now it’s 2022 and I’m better than ever. I want to share my story and make sure that everyone at school knows, it’s ok not to be ok. It’s so important to seek help and guidance from those around you and we are so lucky to have so many amazing teachers along with our support network who care and want to help.

Remember boys:

WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?

It’s ok to feel stuck or confused about how to help at times. Here are some small but powerful tips from the Kids Helpline to help you speak to your son or friend if they seem to be struggling. • Don’t be afraid to have the conversation – choose a quiet place and a time where you’re both relaxed. Try and ask, “Is there anything you wanted to talk about? You haven’t really seemed yourself lately.” • Keep in mind that fear of being judged or treated differently can stop them opening up at first. • Boys in particular may find it difficult to find the words to express how they feel. Be patient and encouraging. • If they aren’t ready to talk things through it’s ok. Try not to push. • Take their feelings seriously; if your child or friend shares that things aren’t ok, get professional support.