Triton Vol. 1, No. 4

Page 32

NEVER HAVE I EVER Yacht Edition Blow off some steam with this revealing game of naughty nuggets. Amid the beautiful surroundings and 5-star service, we yacht crew can experience some “unusual” moments. And we need to decompress — sometimes with extra sleep, sometimes with fitness, and sometimes with games. Drinking games.

BY AN ANONYMOUS CREW

Had a charter guest shit the bed.

Walked off without notice.

ad to clean explosive diarrhea from the master H bathroom sink.

ad to hide a guest’s cigarettes because she H kept smoking in the cabin.

Had to clean human excrement out of the skupper.

Been on a dead ship for more than 48 hours.

Had to feed the owners’ prostitutes at 4 a.m.

Brought a prostitute back to my cabin on board.

Had to cross dress for guests’ entertainment.

Found strangers enjoying themselves on board.

Had to make a cake resembling genitals.

Swam with turtles.

ad to flirt with the customs officer to get us H processed back into the States.

ad a surprise coast guard or homeland security H inspection on board.

Had to clean around an owner’s used sex toys.

Bought drugs from a marina worker.

Had to unpack the guests’ sex toys.

een a meteor shower from the sun deck while S underway.

ad guests refuse to leave when their charter H ended.

Seen a double rainbow off the bow.

Had a second engineer remove the wrong pump.

Swam with dolphins.

Gotten the date wrong for a guest’s birthday.

Rode a seabob into a shark.

annonballed onto sharks off the swim platform C to entertain guests.

ad guests refuse to eat dinner because they H were all in a drunken dispute and not speaking to each other.

Had to save another vessel at sea.

ad to swim out and rescue jet skis that floated H away.

Had to shoot at pirates trying to board.

ought restaurant food and served it to guests B because the chef was passed out.

Snuck a hookup on board and gotten away with it.

Actually used my free time to learn a new language.

ot attacked by a gang of iguanas during the G guest beach BBQ.

Flirted with an owner’s daughter/son.

Flirted with an owner.

Been alone on the yacht for a week.

Had to cover for an owner’s or guest’s cheating.

ied about equipment not working so you didn’t L have to set it up.

alled the coast guard or flag state on a C captain/vessel.

Fired someone because you didn’t like them.

Been accused of being a drug runner.

Fought a fire on board.

Heard my fellow crew having sex.

riven an inflatable tender 25 miles to rescue D a guest.

Been fired for not liking the owners’ dog.

Seen the captain run the boat aground.

Had to do a guest’s makeup.

Kicked charter guests off mid-charter.

Hid in a bilge so the captain couldn’t find you.

Witnessed an engagement proposal on board.

ever have I ever been on a boat where three N captains, two engineers and two stews left within one month.

Break up a domestic dispute between guests.

een kicked out of a marina in the middle of B the night.

restled a drunken guest away from boarding W the wrong yacht.

Taken the tender to have sex.

Had to clean dog poo off of teak.

Been abandoned by a captain on a yacht.

Bribed a customs official to release provisions.

Had to talk a guest out of keeping illegal seafood.

ad sex with a fellow crew member on the crew H mess table.

Fallen off the dock coming back from a bar.

Found a gun under a pillow during turndown service.

Sank the golf cart — drunk or sober.

Visited a guest at their home after the charter.

eft yachting and went to work for a guest after L a charter.

Enter the always fun and illuminating “Never Have I Ever,” Yacht Edition. Rules are easy: If you have experienced one of these items, you must perform the agreed upon task, whether it be pushups, dish duty, taking a swig or whatever other entertaining things you and your crew can come up with. Let this be your starter guide and add on as stories emerge. It’s a fun way to get to know each other and have gratitude for wherever you are right now.

Put a tender on the hip in 6-foot swells.

Backed over the tender tow lines.

Deleted the chart course while underway.

Popped a fender.

aid down on the crew mess table surrounded L by the deck team wearing towels on their heads while the captain chanted in a fake language in order to get a raise.

Had five engineers at once on a 150-foot boat.

atched the captain walk off before the boat was W even properly docked.

Had a management company take control of a boat.

Been anchored for months with no land.

id in the empty hot tub so the captain couldn’t H find you.

• •

F ed champagne from a bottle into the mouths of guests in a floaty being towed by a Williams.

aught fish with guests who then announced C they won’t eat it and that it was just for pictures.

Had sex with a charter guest.

Taken drugs with charter guests.

Been naked in front of my crewmates.

Been asked to provide drugs to guests.

Seen a charter guest naked.

Had to sue a yacht for nonpayment.

Been asked to provide birth control to guests.

een on board when the captain crashed the B boat because he was sexting.

Done donuts in the tender around a waterspout.

Had a guest bring guns on board.

Had a captain sleep through his night watch.

Had an owner offer to buy me cosmetic surgery.

Had an HOD meeting at a strip club.

Been fired.

Gotten cosmetic surgery for a yacht job.

30

JUNE 2022 | TritonNews.com


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