CELEBRATIONS
2013 trends
She said yes Those little touches A RIVER REPORTER LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE
Time for celebration
S
ome milestones in life deserve special consideration—a 16th birthday, a graduation, the birth of a baby, a 50th wedding anniversary, a marriage. These are the times we celebrate by gathering our family and friends around for a singular occasion. Some families spare no expense; others choose to mark the day joyfully but more simply. Whatever your style, it takes some thought and planning to put together a successful event—from making a budget for your bash, to deciding how to make your party memorable and your guests feel special. Some people prefer the do-it-yourself approach to achieving their vision, while others find wisdom in hiring some professional help. With that choice in mind, we decided to pull together some advice from both professionals and non-professionals to offer some suggestions for your own planning and decision making. Whatever route you choose, we wish you a happy day, filled with fun and joy, surrounded by the people you care most about as you mark the milestone you will be celebrating.
Jane Bollinger
Editor, Celebrations
Table of Contents
Affordable elegance
By Jane Bollinger Page 3 In challenging economic times, a wedding planner offers considerations for an affordable yet elegant wedding.
2013 wedding season trends
By James Angelo Campistrous A wedding planner tells what’s in and what’s out for 2013 weddings
Page 7
The future of marriage: Creating a wedding website
By Isabel Braverman Page 9 Creating a website for your approaching wedding facilitates sharing information with everyone
Those little touches: Adding something special to your wedding By Isabel Braverman Ideas for adding a personal touch on that special day
Page 10
She said, “Yes”
Future brides share the stories of romantic proposals
Page 13
To video or not to video
By Matt Dorcas Page 15 A professional shares his opinion about preserving your wedding on video
Wedding etiquette: Is it a relic of the past?
By Nancy Dymond Page 17 What are the rules of wedding etiquette in these days of almost anything goes?
Celebrations, a special publication of The River Reporter, is published by Stuart Communications, Inc.
Entire contents ©2013 by Stuart Communications, Inc. The River Reporter ofce is at 93 Erie Ave., Narrowsburg, NY. Its mailing address is P.O. Box 150, Narrowsburg, NY 12764. Phone 845-252-7414. E-mail emily@riverreporter.com. The River Reporter is online at riverreporter.com. Subscription to The River Reporter is $60.00 for two years, $35.00 for 1 year or $25.00 for six months. USPS 354-810. Periodical postage paid at Narrowsburg, NY 12764, and additional mailing ofces. Publication date: February 28, 2013 Cover photo by Amanda Reed
2 • CELEBRATIONS 2013
Publisher ...................................................... Laurie Stuart
Production Manager .................................. Amanda Reed
Section Editor .............................................. Jane Bollinger
Sales Director .............................................. Barbara Matos
Affordable elegance
Tips for planning on a budget
By JANE BOLLINGER
The average wedding in the U.S. costs around $27,000.
B
ut in these tough economic times, not everyone wants to spend that kind of money for what is—after all—just one day in the life of a couple that’s embarking on a lifetime together. So, how do a bride and groom have both fun and elegance on their special day without breaking the bank? Since 2002, Ela Ambrozewicz has been the events and wedding planner at Hills Country Inn in Callicoon Center, NY, and in the last three years, she’s started doing weddings and other special events offsite as well. Because every bride deserves to have a special day for her wedding, I asked Ambrozewicz to offer some strategies for how to achieve affordable elegance.
Set priorities “The number one thing is to set priorities— for the bride and groom to decide what’s most important to them.” For Ambrozewicz, this involves getting to know the couple and finding out what matters most to them about their wedding day. Maybe it’s being married at home. Maybe it’s having all of their friends there to help them celebrate. Maybe it’s serving fresh, local food from a nearby farm. If a couple wants to do something special to create a “wow” factor, Ambrozewicz believes, “it should say something about the couple. Say they love ice cream; then, why not have a big ice cream bar for dessert and put out 25 delicious toppings in interesting containers? It can look beautiful. Do something that is special to the bride and groom.”
Make a budget Making and sticking to a budget is the other most important consideration when affordability is a consideration. “First,” advises Ambrozewicz, “decide how much you want to spend, and then, if you have limited resources, the most prudent way to go is to stick to a strict budget that will hold you to that number. Because you have a budget, if one aspect of your wedding day is most important to you, then you can make cuts in other areas to make that one priority work for you.” One word of counsel—the reception is the most expensive element. “Always, half of your budget goes to the reception, for the hall and the catering,” she said. “Most other pieces of your budget fall into the 10% range.” Keep it simple, she urges, and don’t hesitate to ask yourself, “Do we really need all of this?”
Continued on page 5
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4 • CELEBRATIONS 2013
Affordable elegance
Continued from page 3
Is a wedding planner necessary? Fully aware that I am talking to a wedding planner, I nevertheless ask if having a wedding planner is really necessary. “Planners help in a lot of ways,” Ambrozewicz replied. “A wedding planner should be able to save you money, to work with you and say, ‘Let’s figure it out and keep it simple.’ Usually, a wedding planner will have relationships with vendors in the area and will be able to help that way, too.” A wedding planner not only knows what kinds of decisions need to be made, but also can help the couple put things into perspective. “Maybe you don’t need the most expensive silverware at the tables, for example. Maybe you don’t need flowers on every table; maybe just one big flower arrangement is a better choice. In that way, a wedding planner knows where to get the most bang for your buck.” To my surprise, Ambrozewicz has a definite opinion about “the dress.” “I don’t think it’s important to put so much money on the dress. Beautiful, yes. Something you like, yes. But keep in mind, it is for only one day.”
Keep it simple So, what other tips did Ambrozewicz have? “If you’re really looking to keep the budget low, limit the number of guests,” she said. She suggested categorizing the guest list. “It’s okay to say, ‘Sorry, but we can’t invite our work friends,’ for example. You can also limit the number of people in your wedding party. Having one or two close friends is fine. You don’t need to go overboard. In fact, nowadays you even see couples getting married without a wedding party, where just the couple is standing there getting married.” As for saving on food, Ambrozewicz’s recommendation again is to keep it simple. “You may want to serve family style,” she suggested. “It’s not as expensive, but it doesn’t look like you’re cutting corners if you’re passing the food in a beautiful bowl. Also, there’s nothing that says you have to have a big Saturday night thing. Have a tea party, have Sunday brunch— the options are endless.” And what about the cake? “Wedding cakes don’t seem to be the trend these days,” she said. “There’s often just a small cake for the bride and groom.” Other options include serving a variety of homemade desserts or cupcakes, or “maybe your mom makes the best lemon bars in town. If she made them for dessert, that adds a nice personal touch.” Then, Ambrozewicz offered a word of caution about the bar. “A bar can be very expensive,” she reported. “Remember, it’s just one day and one party. It’s okay if you serve just beer and wine and a signature cocktail. That way, everyone will have a choice.” DIY: the pros and cons And what about the idea of having your friends do things—say for example, taking the wedding photographs? “This could be a formula for disaster,” Ambrozewicz cautioned. “Using your friends for their skills is wonderful, but you need to know your friends well. Some may have the best intentions but may not be able to pull through on the big day.” But she added that, in deciding on a professional photographer, you don’t have to hire the most expensive one. “There are a lot of photographers just starting out, and hiring someone like that will cost less. Make sure you see samples of their work, and make sure you like their
style. If a young photographer is clearly experienced with a camera and knows what to do in bright sunlight as well as in a dark spot, then probably it will be fine.” “And what about music?” I asked. “DJs cost less than live bands,” she pointed out. “Or get a band that’s just starting out—one that’s not so well known. Or save by using music on your iPod, with a play list, to go with cocktail time, and have the band play later.” (Bands generally are hired based on a five-hour time period.) I asked if, in this day and age, it was acceptable to send an electronic invitation by email, which would save money on paper and postage. “Well,” she said, “you’re talking to a person who loves paper. There’s something to be said for receiving a beautiful personal invitation in the mail. To me, it’s more special and elegant and personal. These days, you can go to one of those craft stores or party stores, and with your computer, you can make the invitations yourself at home.” When I wanted to know if she had any last thoughts about affordable weddings, Ambrozewicz raised the issue of gifts. “Many couples, because of tough economic times, opt to live together before getting married. So, they may already have things like plates, or a coffeemaker or other things. Increasingly, couples are asking for money for something—say, to help pay for a honeymoon, or to buy a piece of land or to buy a house. I think that’s smart because that’s what they need to start their life together.” Ambrozewicz added another word of caution and a suggestion for the DIY bride. “One pitfall of doing everything yourself, if you don’t have a wedding planner, is that she’s not here to do the worrying for you on the wedding day. So then, assign someone to worry for you and to take care of the emergencies and the details. The day of the wedding is very intense—physically, mentally and emotionally. There are so many pieces to be put together. “The bride and groom need to be able to relax and enjoy their big day. Your friends and family will be happy when they see you’re happy.” [Email: hillscountryinn@yahoo.com]
A RIVER REPORTER MAGAZINE • 5
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6 • CELEBRATIONS 2013
2013 season trends
keeping pace with fashion
By JAMES ANGELO CAMPISTROUS
T
he 2013 wedding season is here, and here are eight trends (along with some helpful tips) to make sure your special day is a memory you and your guests never forget. The Dress: The strapless gown is fading with the surfacing of the illusion neckline, much like that in the gown worn by Princess Kate this past year, which was modeled after the style of the illustrious Princess Grace of years past. This elegant neckline is returning for the 2013 bride. The Headpiece: Tiaras and jeweled barrettes with or without veils are still the prominent headpiece for the 2012 wedding season. Bridesmaids’ attire: Similar length dresses with mixed or matched style will remain popular in 2013. Also, the advent of prints and solids within the same bridal party will be featured this year.
Footwear: Wild and vibrant shoes are still the rage, with brides and the bridal party showing their personalities. (Groomsmen are showing their personal style, too.) Accessories: Chandelier earrings are still in. With the illusion neckline, necklaces are not needed. More antique-inspired bracelets are in vogue. Antique-inspired broaches and pins of gorgeous colored stones on plain gowns are in. Food: More emphasis on extending the cocktail “hour” into “hours,” with a wide variety of passed hors d’oeuvres, is a trend for 2013. The bridal couples want to spend more time with their guests, chatting over cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, rather than rounding the tables at the reception. Cocktails and hors d’oeuvres-only weddings are coming into play. Venue: More nature-inspired settings are the focus for 2013, with tents all the rage. Lakeside venues and those with spectacular views will be gobbled up in 2013. The Clear Top Tent will be the ultimate experience for enjoying the scenery. Don’t forget to add the continuous flooring for carefree dancing with those expensive shoes. Favors: Wedding favors in the form of trinkets are still seen as wasteful by most brides. A photo booth by photographers against a background with props is becoming a very popular wedding favor. [Contact James@j-angelo.com for any questions you may have or for a free, one-hour consultation.]
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The future of marriage A
wedding websites
By ISABEL BRAVERMAN
s we move into the future, it seems that everything is going online. Shopping, blogging, Facebooking… so, why not weddings? Having a wedding website will help you and your guests stay organized and up-to-date on the big event. It’s the new thing to do, but how do you do it? First, you have to choose a web host. This could be Wordpress, Squarespace, GoDaddy—the list goes on and on. Most of them will require you to buy a domain name, and the price is usually between $9 and $30. While it may seem daunting to navigate the features of building a website, it’s relatively easy to use and easy to learn. Once you have the website built, think of what you want it to look like. Web hosting sites have a range of templates for free or ones you can buy.
After you’ve chosen your design, it’s time to add the content, and you’ll be ready to go. Here’s a list of things you can include: Basic Info: When and where is the wedding? What is the dress code? Bonus points: Include photos of you and your future spouse and a playlist of your favorite love songs. Getting There: Include the address, directions, maps, photos and phone numbers of where the ceremony and reception will be held. Bonus points: Set up a forum to allow people to car pool if they’re coming from the same direction.
Places to Stay: A list of hotels, inns, bed and breakfasts and friend’s houses, where people from out of the area can stay. Include the phone numbers and websites.
Things to Do: Restaurants, bars, shops, outdoor activities, etc. Gifts: Let your guests know whether or not you want gifts and what you need or want. Contact: Phone numbers and email addresses for anyone who could help answer a
question that a guest might have.
Additional: Share your story of how you got engaged. Have a place for friends to share their photos and stories about you. Include the wedding dinner menu so people can contact you with any dietary restrictions. Make the RSVP online.
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Those little touches
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10 • CELEBRATIONS 2013
By ISABEL BRAVERMAN
ntering into adulthood means many things, but one thing really stands out— your friends start to get married. That being the case, in the past few months I’ve been to two weddings. The first was in late August and was for my good friend and neighbor Raye Levine (I was also a bridesmaid). The second, in October, was my boyfriend’s sister, Megan Gorzynski. These weddings were not only beautiful but also had that something special, something I’ll call the “little touches.” Even though both women now live in other places, they returned home to take advantage of all that our area has to offer, from the farms to the river. Farm-fresh food Megan’s wedding reception was held at the Settler’s Inn in Hawley, PA. Megan’s father is John Gorzynski of Gorzynski Ornery Farm in Cochecton Center, NY, which sells its veggies and fruit to Settlers, and so they have had a long-standing relationship with the inn. All the food at the reception was provided by the Gorzynski farm and was cooked by the Settler’s chefs. This included greens, mashed potatoes and an assortment of pork that was from the little piggies that were raised on the farm. Some of the food was displayed in wooden crates that have been a part of the farm for many years. To say the least, it was delicious, and I totally pigged out (pun intended). Homemade wedding favors The wedding favors at Megan’s wedding were jars of jam homemade by her mom, Sue. Days before the wedding, we formed an assembly line of sorts at the Gorzynski home and dressed up the jars by adding square pieces of fabric to the top, tied down with ribbon. Then, a tiny toy pig was glued on top, along with a tag that said, “Thank you for jammin’ with Eric and Megan Schwab.” These provided a funny and special touch for the guests to take home. Special ceremony space Raye’s wedding was held at her family’s country home in Milanville, PA. (They live in Brooklyn). The house is a converted barn and is nothing short of breathtaking. The Barn, as
photo by
Add something special to your wedding
photos by Keith Sirchio
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we call it, is a modern, open space that looks out onto the river valley. Sunflowers from the groom’s mother’s farm lined the beams, and guests stood along the side on hardwood floors (no shoes, please) as Raye walked down the makeshift aisle in her Sophia Kokosalaki dress and stood with her husband on a platform that made it look like they were floating among the trees. The bridesmaids wore black dresses of their own choosing and hand-dyed flower wreaths in their hair. It was a sight to behold. The reception was in a large tent nestled into the field across the road from The Barn. The dinner was from Early Bird Cookery, and the band provided swinging music to which guests danced into the night. The vows As participants/witnesses, the bride and groom wanted each guest to “sign-off” on the marriage, so they created an art piece and built a table in which it was encased. It was a slab of (near-cured) ultra cal (plaster) into which they dropped ink right after saying their vows. The ink signified their signatures. After the ceremony, everyone else came around The Barn and was asked to participate in the signing process on a larger piece. This entailed using droppers to drip many colored inks onto the plaster. (It was a hit with the kids, who added so much color that it started to blend into brown.) The before and after Although the wedding reception and ceremony are the main events, it really adds something special to provide things to do for your guests on the days before and after the wedding as many are traveling from distant places. The rehearsal dinner the night before Raye’s wedding was held at The Cooperage in Honesdale, PA, with food provided and prepared by Ant Hill Farm Kitchen of Dyberry Township, PA. After the dinner, we all headed over to The Heron in Narrowsburg, NY for a night of fun. The day after the wedding, we gathered at The Barn for a brunch of pastries, fresh fruit and coffee, provided by Beach Lake Bread, and then we either headed down to t h e river at their property or drove the short distance to Skinners Falls for a lazy day in the sun. Planning your wedding What I learned from these weddings is that what makes it special is the personal touches—food from a local farm, wreaths for the bridesmaids made by the bride, a ceremony and reception space that have special meaning to you, handmade gifts, etc. A wedding is a time to let the people you care about into your life, and it’s the little things that make it so memorable.
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photo by Keith Sir
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t a bridal show recently at Woodlock Resort in Hawley, PA, The River Reporter asked prospective brides the question, “How did he propose?” Here were their answers… Ashley Marek of Dallas, PA and Mike Supczenski: Ashley: We were engaged on Christmas Eve. My parents had gone out, so we were alone. There was music playing. And then Mike turned on a camera. Suddenly, he was kneeling on one knee. When he asked me to marry him, I said, ‘Yes.’ Christina Wood of Milford, PA and Andrew Greeves: Christina: It was Christmas morning, and under the tree, there was this big box. When I opened it, there were all of these pictures from our relationship. And on the back of each one, he had written a message, like “This is the day I fell in love with you.” We were both kneeling over these pictures when he asked me. I said, ‘Yes.’ Michele D’Amico of Pittston, PA and Tom Buckler: Michele: He asked me on New Year’s Eve. We were at his family’s house, and at midnight, Tom’s family has a tradition where everyone’s banging on pots and pans. We were all celebrating,
Romantic proposals
and when it came Tom’s turn to make a toast, he dropped to one knee and asked me. I said, ‘Yes.’ Jennifer Coutts of Paupack, PA and James Granville of Carbondale: Jennifer: He was working away in Texas, and he came home the weekend after his birthday. It was in July. We were going out to dinner. And then he asked me. I said, ‘Yes.’ Tracy Getz of Honesdale and Christopher Carrol: Tracy: It was on Christmas Eve, and for three weeks, I had been shaking the gifts under the tree. Somehow, I missed it. It was right there—a small box with the ring in it. He got down on his knees to propose. I said, ‘Yes,’ but all I remember is saying “OMG, it fits! It fits!” when I put it on.
Continued on page 18
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14 • CELEBRATIONS 2013
To video or not to video
A pro’s opinion
For example, a poorly lit church can be captured in high quality video, whereas with a lower grade consumer camera, it here has been a steady decline could be grainy. of people using videographers At the wedding venue, will there in recent years due to the cost be a lot of equipment, such as lights of hiring a videographer for a and boom microphones. Some brides video that’s often seen only a few times do not mind the big production. Howand then stored away indefinitely. Phoever, you might want a more low-key tographs are great for remembering that production on your special day. Also, special day by recreating those special will you coordinate with our other sermoments in your memory, but there’s vices, such as D.J, photographer, etc.? nothing more powerful than seeing How long will the editing process and hearing the actual moments that take before we see the final product? not only bring back memories, but also You should discuss your expectations allow future generations to experience of when you want the film delivered. the sights, sounds and feelings you felt Some films could take three months and that day. others could take up to a year. In a nationwide survey of newlyweds Do you use licensed music? If the Photo by J. Ferrara conducted by the Wedding and Event company does not, that could result in Videographers Association (WEVA), an Nuby DeLeon, business partner. Bride Jen Mikus. Makeup artist Jeanine Brogan. Peter large fees and ultimately could put them Salo, videographer. overwhelming majority recommended out of business before you get your prodthat brides have their weddings videotaped. Of the uct. It also would make it hard to share your film on How many hours will you be with us on our wedsurveyed brides who did not have their weddings any website. ding day? This is usually the point in the process where videotaped by anyone, 38% ended up regretting it, How will the final product be delivered, and the amount of hours would be based on your budget. and 63% of these regretful brides recommended that will you supply a web-based video along with Also, how big will your video crew be at the wedding? future brides hire a professional videographer. the DVD? Some professionals may offer to put the Based on the agreement, you may need to provide meals The first thing you should do when looking for film on YouTube or Vimeo for you to share on your for the crew. someone to shoot your wedding is to look at samples. social media sites or via email. What type of cameras do you shoot with? With the Once you have seen these and have found a style that Although I believe that any level of videography popularity of HD, asking if they shoot HD is not enough— you like, here are some simple questions you can ask (even with iPhones) is better than none, I feel that your cell phone can shoot in HD. However, a professionto find out if this videographer is right for your special having a professional filmmaker tell your story al-grade camera can capture video in a higher quality. day: through motion, sound and music will result in a What is your approach in telling our story? bigger emotional impact, both for you and for your Will it be shot like a documentary, like a scripted future generations. movie or something in-between? [www.ndpromedia.com] By MATTHEW DORCAS
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305 Main Avenue, Hawley, PA 18428 (570)226-8983 Closed Saturday
Wedding etiquette
Is it a relic of the past?
By NANCY DYMOND
D
id you know that, historically, the “best man” was the friend of the groom most skilled in the use of arms? In a holdover tradition from the days of the Germanic Goths, wedding etiquette places the best man at an angle to the groom’s right and the (usually kidnapped) bride to his left, leaving right hands free to grasp a nearby club, knife or spear in case the stolen bride’s tribe should arrive uninvited. Tribal customs dictated other pro-
tocols: the giving away of the bride— property exchanged between father and husband, carrying the (screaming, biting) bride over the threshold, and the honeymoon—hiding away with the stolen bride through the four phases of the moon. To the latter, the French added the custom of drinking metheglin, a fermented wine made from honey and spices, thereby adding honey to the moon. Times have changed. The wedding party is no longer a tug-of-war between
“What does seem necessary to the human spirit is some sense of ritual connected with so momentous a step in life.” — Judith Martin aka Miss Manners
hostile tribes, but is a blending of families in an ambiance of respect and affection. Wedding etiquette may include archaic postures that are echoes of the past, but the substance behind the symbolism has changed to reflect new meanings. Father giving the bride away has meaning now as a token of acceptance by the bride’s family of the groom she has chosen. Often, the bride is accompanied down the aisle by both parents to show family support as she enters a new chapter of her life. Designing your own wedding gained popularity in the 1970s as young people exploded cultural mythologies that circumscribed their freedom of expression. From writing their own vows to
Continued on page 19
Contributed photo
Wedding etiquette has changed since Princess Beatrice of the United Kingdom was married in this wedding dress in 1885.
A beautifully restored craftsman lodge
A The Settlers Inn wedding is a cherished memory created with thoughtful attention to detail. Our professional and courteous staff will assist you with every aspect of your special day. The Inn offers comfor table lodging in twenty guest rooms, all with private bath, air conditioning and modern amenities individually appointed in the craftsman style with eco-friendly flair. Many feature cozy fireplaces and luxurious whirlpool tubs.
4 Main Avenue, Hawley, PA
The cor ner stone of the Inn is our authentic regional cuisine. Each menu highlights fresh and healthy produce from local organic far mer s and pur veyor s. Our wine list has been recognized by Wine Spectator for the past seven year s with an Award of Excellence.
A stone entr yway leads to our gardens for outside enter taining. Cher r y woodwor k, ar t glass and ar royo wall sconces provide a sense of war mth, serenity and comfor t for your reception
The Inn’s 25-year tradition of fresh farm-totable cuisine and fine service will allow you to breathe easy and enjoy time with family, friends and your special someone in our Ar ts and Crafts-inspired gathering areas.
| 570-226-2993 • 800-833 8527 | www.thesettlersinn.com | settler@settlersinn.com A RIVER REPORTER MAGAZINE • 17
She said yes
Continued from page13
Michele Butler of Reeders, PA and Christopher Sciabica: Michele: He woke me up early in the morning and asked me to come with him because he had an early birthday present. When he handed me a big box, I figured it was the pair of boots I’d been wanting. In the big box was a small box with the ring. When I saw it, I cried, and then I said, ‘Yes.’ Amanda Nelson of Brooklyn, NY and Paul Adamo: Amanda: It was three days before Christmas, and we were just hanging out. He told me a box had arrived with a new Christmas ornament that was hanging on the tree. And right there was the ring, hanging from an ornament hook. He went down on one knee and proposed, and I said, ‘Yes.’ Gina Spinelli of Rowlands, PA and Dakota Erway of Hawley: Gina: In October, we were planning a picnic, and Dakota, who’s a contractor, wanted to take me to the site of where he was building a house. At first, I didn’t even notice, but then I realized he was wearing a T-shirt that said, “Will you marry me?” Then, he got down on one knee and he asked me. I said, ‘Yes.’
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Wedding etiquette
Continued from page17
dispensing with traditional ceremonies, the new couples turned the tying of the knot into an art form. The wedding ceremony regained some of its former pomp and glamour as brides rediscovered the beauty of tradition following the 1981 wedding of Diana Spencer to Charles, Prince of Wales. Even if you are opting for a “white” or traditional wedding, you have the opportunity to be creative. The bride’s family still will sit on one side of the space and the groom’s on the other, but blended and re-blended families blur the lines among relationships. You will want to give divorced parents and their spouses equal respect with regard to seating and in the receiving line. Other special situations, such as wheelchair accommodations, need to be thought out ahead of time. Traditional rules of etiquette require the bride’s parents to cover the entire expense of the wedding and reception, with the bride’s father being the last to leave the reception at the end of the night in order to settle accounts. The bride’s mother chooses her own dress, and then informs the groom’s mother of the color so that they can coordinate their attire. The bride hosts the bridesmaids’ luncheon, gives her attendants thank-you gifts and buys a gift for the groom. The groom buys
gifts for his attendants and for the bride. He also pays for the marriage license, the minister’s fee, the rings and the honeymoon. The groom’s parents pay for the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. Today, families discuss ways to share the costs. It may be the case that the bride and groom wish to cover the costs associated with the ceremony themselves. The role of the “honor attendant,” a new term coined for the now gender-neutral roles of best man and maid or matron of honor, has primarily been to get the couple to the church on time. That means that, if the limousine driver accidentally locks his key inside the running limo (a true story!), the bride’s honor attendant must be ready with Plan B. (She was. She drove everyone to the church in her own car.) The bride’s honor attendant organizes the bridal shower and the bachelorette party, arranges the bride’s veil before the processional and holds her bouquet at the altar. The groom’s honor attendant is responsible for bringing the bride’s ring, conducting the toasts during the reception and making sure the getaway car is packed and ready. Today, there are many options for bending the “rules.” Will you go for the formal and stately “Here Comes the Bride” for your processional or choose a club fave that will send your bridesmaids and groomsmen spinning their best dance moves down the aisle? Will the bride carry flowers—perhaps a bouquet of thyme and garlic to frighten away evil spirits as in the days of yore? Will you find inspiration in the vows that your parents spoke or will you write your own personal expression of commitment to your bride or groom? Let the etiquette of consideration for others be the under-painting of your wedding masterpiece. And, once the planning is complete, relax. Take these words from Emily
Post’s great-granddaughter-inlaw to heart. “Weddings tend to freak people out—and the word ‘etiquette’ can put people on edge sometimes. Basically, as long as you’re not going to offend someone, you can do anything you want.”
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Uptown Flavor, Down-Home Fun A place to return again and again We will offer a varity of music and all genres of lessons.
Cater your wedding or next big event in our beautiful renovated dance hall. My Shady Lady opens March 15th with live Irish music to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Check our schedule of events at www.myshadylady.com.
Cold beer, fine wine, music and dancing. Light refreshments and good times. A RIVER REPORTER MAGAZINE • 19
THE CEREMONY Intimate indoor & outdoor setting Professionally landscaped gardens, terraces, fountain & gazebo
THE RECEPTION Newly redesigned reception room with vast windows & exquisite views Personalized & customized menus for every budget Catering to only one reception at a time
THE PARTY CONTINUES Luxurious hotel rooms and complimentary bridal suite Spa, hair studio and makeup artist on property Lounge & entertainment areas available
FALL DATES STILL AVAILABLE You provide the vision and we’ll worry about the details…
20 • CELEBRATIONS 2013