Dating As A Drag Queen

Dating as a Drag Queen

With February being the month of love and dating, I did some exploring on what it’s like to date in the drag scene.

By Jeff Skinner, a.k.a. Jennifer Lynn

Wearing pink for Valentine's Day!

If you are in a relationship during the month of February, then it’s all about LOVE. If you’re not, you probably celebrate February 15th (a.k.a. Single Awareness Day). This month, I wanted to ask my friends and people in the community what it’s like to date when you’re a drag queen, and what’s it’s like to date a drag queen. I’ve been wondering, “Is it difficult for either party? What are those experiences like?” So I took to the streets!

I was having a drink with my friend Al Johnson when I asked him what he thought about dating a drag queen. He brought up a valid point. He said, “I dated this guy who was a bartender. I would get off work late, go hang out with him, he would close the bar and we would get out of there around 4 a.m.” He continued to tell me about how they had a great time together, but usually stayed up until 6 a.m. when he had to be at work early the next morning. We talked about schedules, and how usually drag queens are up late. It can be really hard to date someone if your schedules don’t match up.

I’ve also heard that not only is it difficult to date a queen because of mismatched schedules, but some drag queens (especially when drag is their main source of income), need to travel a lot. If you don’t have a lot of time to spend on things like dating and getting to know someone, that can put a massive strain on a relationship.

I asked my friend Selena T. West, a wellknown drag queen from Boscoe’s, what she thought. She said, “I’ve never had it be an issue, but I started doing drag when it was more common and popular.” That is a great point. Now, we see drag queens in awards shows, on the covers of magazines and on TV shows and Netflix specials.

I know a couple people that used to be extremely intimidated by drag queens, but I think with all this representation and increasing visibility, it’s becoming more “socially acceptable” to both be and date a drag queen.

My friend Hunter, better known as Soy Queen, also had some great points to add. When I asked her what she thought about dating as a drag queen, she responded: “I think, within the LGBTQ+ community, it is hard dating as a drag queen. We are a community full of diversity that is constantly fighting for acceptance and love, but within our own walls we are extremely separated and closed-minded. Not only in the LGBTQ+ community but even in the ‘straight society,’ we have created a lot of toxic masculinity where if you don’t fit a certain mold, appearance or behavior, then you are undateable. I know I have spoken with many entertainers in the community who face this struggle, and I myself face it too. We are stigmatized as ‘too feminine’ or told that we ‘party too much’ and/or involve ourselves in ‘unsafe nightlife scenes.’ But I think as drag queens, we are and should be able to date. We are just like everyone else. But there is a stigma on us in the community, and it’s a stigma I’m looking to end.”

Personally, I have been a part of the LGBTQ+ community for 10 years now, and I have seen some great, inspiring relationships. A gay couple celebrating 50 years together. A lesbian couple that adopted a child. A meteorologist who had a husband and two beautiful children.

You see, if you are worried about finding love and you feel like you’re not having luck, don’t worry too much. I think we all will find love at some point in our lives, if that’s something you’re interested in. It doesn’t matter if you are gay, straight, bi, transgender or a drag queen — sometimes it takes time and a little self-growth before you are ready for a serious relationship. You will go through different things in life that will build you up to be ready for that relationship. You will find someone that is compatible to you, just like I did in October.

Me and my boyfriend!