Top five movies that are so bad they’re good

Top 5 movies that are so bad they’re good

ANAKIN BUSH Managing Editor

5.

“Spider-Man 3” - While this might be a predictable choice, I still have to put it on here. After two excellent Spider-Man films with Tobey Maguire, director Sam Raimi released the third film in his trilogy during 2007.

Absolutely nothing about this film works. While most stories have only one central antagonist, “Spider-Man 3” attempts to balance three. All of the villains are completely flat and one-dimensional characters, with one not even introduced until the last 30 minutes of the film. My personal favorite of the villains is James Franco’s portrayal of Green Goblin, which is hilariously bad. For most of the film, he has amnesia and is pretty much a completely different person. Even if all the villains were successful, it wouldn’t fix Tobey Maguire’s portrayal of Peter Parker. His performance in this film is somewhat infamous for the odd choices he makes, including a complete 180 on his character. If you have not seen this movie yet, it is definitely a must-watch.

4.

“C.H.U.D.” - 1984 was a great year for film, with such classics as “The Karate Kid” and “Ghostbusters” being released. This year also saw the release of “C.H.U.D.,” which is an absolutely terrible yet hilarious film. The title is an acronym for Cannibalistic Humanoid

Underground Dwellers, which are the central antagonists of the story about creatures that live in the sewers of New York City and kidnap people. This simple concept could be successful in a competent film, but this is most certainly not that film. The characters have no depth, with absolutely no development happening. The special effects on the titular C.H.U.D. creatures are equally awful, even for 1984. This movie is certainly considered a cult classic by some, but I just consider it an unintentionally amazing blast from the past.

3.

“Hellraiser: Hellworld” - Horror movie sequels are known for being largely horrible, but this one is truly special. The original “Hellraiser” is a horror classic known for its amazing effects and themes of pain and pleasure. The franchise has had 10 entries so far, with the last one being made during 2018.

While some of the earlier sequel films are passable, “Hellraiser: Hellworld” is easily the worst. Released direct-to-video during 2005, the story follows a group of gamers who play a video game based on the “Hellraiser” movies. The meta aspect of this story was clearly inspired by the success of 1996’s “Scream”. While that movie was a successful parody of the horror genre, “Hellworld” just feels hilariously lame and trying too hard to be hip. Coupled with the awful special effects of a low-budget 2005 direct-to-video movie, it is an incredibly entertaining watch.

2.

“Halloween: Resurrection” - “Halloween” is an absolutely classic horror movie, which of course spawned several sequels. Much like the previously mentioned “Hellraiser” franchise, most of the sequels are awful. The worst “Halloween” film is easily “Halloween: Resurrection.” Released during 2002, this is the eighth entry of the franchise, serving as a continuation of the main “Halloween” story between Laurie Strode and Michael Myers. To keep the franchise fresh, veteran “Halloween” director Rick Rosenthal bases this film around a fictional reality show being filmed in the iconic Myers house. Yes, that is really the story. I don’t know if this film is meant to be taken seriously or not. Because the plot is so ridiculous, it is impossible to get invested into it at all. The acting is also absolutely atrocious, with rapper Busta Rhymes being the worst of the cast. To his credit, he appears to be trying, but he is just not a good actor. Luckily for the audience however, his performance is absolutely hilarious and is just another reason this film is worth a watch.

“Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend” - Compared to the other movies on this list, I really struggle to even call this a movie. Released during 2012 by one-time director Jeff Murray, this movie follows a reporter searching for Bigfoot. This “story” is present for all of five minutes before random events start to happen. Scenes occur in completely random order with no relevance to the overall plot. Several scenes follow a random group of girls, who are never explained at all. They might be prisoners? Or maybe they are going camping? Usually, a film at least attempts to answer all the questions it presents, but “Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend” just keeps piling on the questions with absolutely no resolution. Don’t go into this one expecting an actual movie or coherent story, but if you just want to view a wild experience, then please watch this. I have never seen anything else quite like it.

1.

Graphics by Rebekah Nelson

What we’ve been watching

“Spider-Man: No Way Home” is a knockout

This review contains spoilers for “Spider-Man: No Way Home”, “Spider-Man: Far From Home” and “Hawkeye”

JACK RATLIFF Staff Writer

One of the trademarks of a bad movie is overhype. Movies that are incessantly promoted and hyped-up will inevitably let down audiences. Given the massive hype that has been growing around “Spider-Man: No Way Home” for months now, many were afraid of disappointment. However, the film not only satisfies expectations and fan hopes, but surpasses them. This is your last chance to turn back before I begin to bring up spoilers. You’ve been warned!

“Spider-Man: No Way Home” has been overburdened with enormous expectations, with rumors swirling that Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield would appear, Charlie Cox’s Daredevil would appear, Ned would become the Hobgoblin and much more. The rumors first seemed to be wishful thinking on the part of fans, before constant leaks and denials made some think that these rumors were all but reality. Most films would collapse under the weight of such hefty expectations, but “No Way Home” manages to not only meet expecta- tions but leave even the most hopeful fans satisfied. We got Maguire, Garfield and Matt Murdock, and the film took several major risks that paid off. First, the Green Goblin kills Aunt May which sends Peter on a path of anger and a desire for vengeance. Only Maguire’s restraining role as a big brother and mature Spider-Man is able to keep him from murdering the Green Goblin, which leads to Maguire getting stabbed by the Goblin. Finally, at the end of the film, Peter makes a huge sacrifice by erasing the memory of Peter Parker, meaning he will be effectively erased from existence. He is determined to

remind MJ and Ned of their time together, but when he re-

alizes that his job as Spiderleaves. It is an incredibly emotion-

Man will put them in danger, he al decision that shows the extent of Peter’s character arc. By erasing his memory from existence, Peter can no longer rely on Stark tech, silencing fan criticism about this dependence on Iron Man’s tech as well as teasing a new suit at the end of the film.

“Spider-Man: No Way Home” has several important implications. The inclusion of Cox’s Daredevil, as well as Vincent D’Onofrio’s Kingpin in “Hawkeye” raises questions of whether the Daredevil Netflix series takes place officially in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as well as opening the possibility of an official MCU Daredevil project. The addition of Maguire and Garfield’s Spider-Man has not only made the previous “Spider-Man” films canon in the MCU, but it has also led to fans clamoring for “Spider-Man 4” and “The Amazing Spider-Man 3,” respectively. The memory wipe at the end of the film could possibly set up Ned’s transformation into the Hobgoblin, which was hinted at during “No Way Home” in a hilarious scene that draws parallels between Ned and Harry Osborn from Maguire’s universe. Also, the post-credit scene with Tom Hardy’s Venom established that the symbiote is now in the MCU, giving us the possibility of seeing Tom Holland take on the symbiote suit.

The film is clearly the strongest of the three movies in the MCU “Spider-Man” trilogy, and one of the best “Spider-Man” movies of the decade. The combination of fan service as well as a willingness to take risks have paid off immensely for the MCU. Not only did they set up several upcoming works but they also created a film that stands alone as one of the best in the entire MCU. The acting performances were stellar, with Tom Holland illustrating the pain and inner turmoil that comes with being Spider-Man. Maguire excelled as the mature Spider-Man providing guidance to the others and Garfield was charming and lovable.

Of course, it is impossible to discuss the acting without mentioning Willem Dafoe’s performance as the Green Goblin. While the other villains’ performances were excellent, and it was great to see Alfred Molina reprise his role as Doc Ock, Dafoe’s portrayal of Norman Osborn and the Green Goblin stole the show. The 66-year-old insisted on doing his own stunts and brought incredible range to the character, providing moments of heartbreak as well as rage. There are moments where one feels genuinely sorry for Osborn and others where you loathe him. Once again, this movie will stand the test of time to not only be one of the best “Spider-Man” movies ever made, but one of the best movies to come out of the MCU. Truly a phenomenal work of art, and seeing it in theaters is an experience that will stay with me for years to come.

“Spider-Man” gets 5/5 spiders

Graphics by Jinyu Li

What are you excited for this semester?

Alex Potter, freshman

“I’m excited about my classes. I’m in creative writing, which is so fun … I’m in a lot more diverse classes, and meeting new teachers and meeting new people … Just hanging out with friends, I’d kind of forgotten how nice that is … I’m just looking forward to being a student, the day-to-day activities.”

Tyler Bischel, junior

“I’ve got a really nice selection of classes this semester. I’m working with just a couple of different professors specifically … [and] I enjoy getting to know my professors. I think there’s lots of great professors on campus that are very smart and really nice people that I love to get to know … And not having to spread my attention out between so many different people and so many different classes, but being able to kind of focus on this one thing moving into the second half of my junior year, I’m really excited about that.”

Reflections on New Year’s Eve

SAVANNAH KLUESNER Staff Writer

As we waited, unaffected, for the ball to drop, This was all I could think about:

At this time last year Our breath came as bright shadows In air that sent chilled spines through lungs, Leaden silence on shoulders that split With the banging of pots and pans, The cranking of noisemakers, The earth-shake of too-near fireworks.

And you put a hand on my shoulder, Broad with forty years of physical labor, Strong enough to hold the weight of The family you had built in your palm. You kissed my cheek. In the pictures we have of you that night, In a move antithetical to my notion of you,

You have an obnoxious noisemaker Tilted in your mouth as you smile.

And in this ghostly silence now, There could be an assortment of grateful noise To ring in the New Year. But your rumbling Whisper, dulcet, could drown it With just four words: “Happy New Year’s, Punkin.”

KIRKSVILLE FACES WINTER WEATHER

The snowy condition of the roads on East Harrison Street over the weekend. During the snow emergency all vehicles were told to be off the road so plows could clear the snow. Photos by Rachel Becker

Below: The McKinney Center, which houses the Student Health Center and University Counseling Services. Kirksville was predicted by the National Weather Service to get 4-7 inches of snow.

Above: Cars on the Kirksville square covered in snow. Before the snowfall, there were inches of rain that turned to ice, creating icy road conditions.

Below: The side of Ophelia Parrish at Truman State University covered in snow. There was a wind chill advisory for Jan. 1920, where the temperatures reached below -2 degrees.