My Sister's Hair

Interview & Photography By Amina Touray

We had the opportunity to sit down with My Sister’s Hair salon owner Deshimona Nathanael and chat about growing up in Sweden with Afro hair, curls, and how to avoid common hair mistakes. Amina Touray: When did your interest in hair begin?

Deshimona Nathanael: It started quite early. I have memories from when I was eight-nine years old. I started thinking about how to braid, and I remember that I thought it just looked so hard, and then I started practicing. After a while, it just clicked and I knew how to braid. That was the first hair interest I had, and then it just developed from there. I started thinking about hair when I was growing up. I think that's because I grew up here, and I had a different kind of hair. I think because I looked different from the regular ideal in Sweden is why I was thinking about it like I wanted to have long hair. So that’s how it started.

AT: Growing up in Sweden, you didn't see that many people that look like you, or like us. Describe what that felt like?

DN: Yeah, I remember when I and my sister were kids when we used to play, we used to put skirts or t-shirts on our heads and pretend that it was hair that was moving because we didn’t have that, we had our Afro hairs. And our mom is Swedish, so she has straight hair. I didn't think about it that much, it didn’t bother me when I was young. But now that I’m older, I can look back and see that I was affected by it, because you didn't have any representation at that time. You had your odd celebrity that was brown and Swedish, but it was very rare. We had Alice Bah, Kayo, Titiyo, and Neneh Cherry. Those were the ones that we had. And I remember that I thought their hair was really pretty but I wasn't confident with my own hair. I always wanted to have long straight hair. Maybe that’s why I’m having it straight right now (she laughs). But I Love my curls as well now!

AT: So how would you say things are in Sweden now in 2021, is there more representation?

DN: First of all, we definitely get more representation, 100%! Also, this natural wave that’s come over the world I guess, the last ten years maybe. I think you see more curly hair and you see more curly hairstyles, and it's adding pressure to the whole hairdressing industry. So now you all of a sudden see more demand in education, like teaching curly hair. But I also think there are more hairdressing salons in Stockholm, at least, I don't know what the rest of the country looks like. In Stockholm, there are more and more popping up. So I think the kids today have a bigger chance of actually going to a hair salon where people’s hair looks like theirs, and where somebody can handle their hair, which is a big difference for us. I remember I had this idea of getting a cut and a blow-dry, and I went to the salon, and she completely destroyed my hair. She started thinning it out. She cut off a lot of lengths, and then she started blow drying it, and in the middle of blow-drying it, she said - “but this is not turning out nice, this hair is too frizzy". And I remember sitting there, I was like 14 years old. And I was like -“I hate my hair”. And that to me was a really strong memory. Now we get these young girls coming in here with their moms, sometimes Swedish moms, sometimes their moms are Black, the kids are mixed. They come in here and they light up because they get to hear that their hair is beautiful.

AT: It's so good to see that it's changing. So when did you start building your hair skills?

DN: I started braiding with extension hair when I was in the upper level of compulsory school. I started braiding my friends, and my friends’ moms and stuff. So I had a little “business” (she laughs) when I was like 14-15. I started getting people asking me to do their hair. So I did a lot of it at home and then I did it at high school. I studied economists in high school. So I just put that (hair) on hold. But after when I was finished, I just kept doing hair and I was working different jobs at cafes, grocery stores, and stuff. And then I was like - "but hair is like my biggest interest, why should I just not become a hairdresser?" So then I applied for hairdressing education through the employment service, and I got in! It was a year and a half, special “grown-up” education. Then I did an additional six months internship after that. Then I got my first job at Blacknuss Hair’N‘ Care.

AT: How long did you work there until you opened your own so salon?

DN: I worked there for six years. So by then, I had worked eight years as a hairdresser and then they changed owners, and it was just a little bit chaotic. So I left that.

AT: Do you think that was the push that you needed to open your own salon, or did you always want to start your own salon?

DN: When I started as a hairdresser, I always thought I would have my own salon. I always knew I wanted a salon for curly hair. I had my own picture in my head! But then when I started working in different salons, I started second-guessing it because I saw the stress it put on the owners, and I saw the whole backside of it, how difficult it can be with employees and the clients with curly hair and Afro hair, they can be very picky. Mostly they want to go to you, they don’t want to change hairdresser. So it’s hard sometimes to build outwards. But I decided when they changed owners. I thought - "okay I could either rent the chair somewhere else, or I could just start something and see what happens", and so I did!

AT: You work with all hair types, but you specialize in curls and Afro hair. So, what are some hair care advice that you would give specifically for curly hair, Afro, and straight hair?

DN: I would say that curly hair and Afro, generally need more moisture. And not as many washes as straight hair. I mean there are so many differences. But for curly hair, I would say that product is key. What product you use; shampoo, conditioner, and deep conditioner, to heat protectors and curl creams, or whatever you are using. The product is key! While for straight hair, you probably need to be thinking more about volume. You want to keep it cleaner, so you might use lesser products. I mean obviously, shampoo and conditioners are very important whatever hair you have, but I think for straight hair you could wing it a little bit more. You don't have to be so specific, as long as you don't go for the hair weighing down types of products.

AT: What are some of the most common treatments that you do here at the salon?

DN: I think that most common right now is curly hair cuts. We cut and then we define the curls. That’s the most regular one, we have a few clients that do that every day. But we also do the relaxers, the texturizers even though they’ve become very “yelled at” lately. People don’t think you should do them and it’s like you want to step away from the straightening of the hair and go more towards the natural. But we do both hairs, and I never shame anyone that wants to straighten their hair as long as you know how to take care of it. But I would say the most common treatments are curly hair cuts and highlights.

AT: What are some common mistakes that you see people do to their hair?

DN: Common mistakes would be using the wrong products, washing too much…

AT: How much is too much?

DN: Generally for Afro hair, I think more than two times a week is too much, depending on the hair type you have, like if you are more of a 3A, 3B, then maybe you could get away with washing a little bit more. But if you do it from 3C to 4C, then you should definitely not wash more than two times a week.

AT: Because it dries it out, right?

DN: it dries the scalp out and it dries the hair out. One of the most common mistakes about water is that water is a source of moisture. And I can see in a lot of these forums that people advise about curly hair and stuff. I've seen people advise about wetting the hair to moisturize it but that's a very common mistake because water is the most dehydrating thing that you can put on your skin and your hair right? So it does add moisture, but it also dehydrates.

AT: So it's better to use moisturizing products for your hair…

DN: Exactly! And maybe if you want to moisturize it, you should use a leave-in conditioner or primer for the hair. Like Bumble and Bumble has one that’s called pre-style, re-style primer.

AT: So what can someone expect when they walk into My Sister’s Hair?

DN: They should definitely expect to be treated with delicacy! Because I've always been fully aware of the stigma with Afro hair. Like, a lot of people with Afro hair, have issues with length. Like, maybe if you want to cut it, you're afraid that the hairdresser is going to cut it too much. You might be afraid that they're going to comment, say something like - “that looks frizzy”, or “it looks dry”, or whatever. So you can expect that not to happen! And getMAY 2021

ting a hairdresser that listens to you, understands your specific needs. and I think communication is very important. Right now I have extra staff when I'm on maternity leave, but my regular staff’s all been with me for a long time. I think six, four, and three years. So we've developed a tight team and we always talk about these things, and since they all have the same type of hair themselves. All of them know that you have to be delicate, listen to the client. I always say do less rather than more, don't be creative, unless somebody wants you to, of course, when it comes to curly hair because it takes a long time to get it to grow out. And a lot of people have issues that extend beyond going to the hairdresser. So you need to be a bit careful.

AT: I definitely felt all of those things when I came into the salon. Estelle who treated my hair was very delicate and asked a lot of questions about my needs and desires, which I appreciated a lot! Lastly, where do you see yourself and your business in the next five years?

DN: In the next five years, I see it going forward with a lot of the natural hair type of treatments. But also going on the same path and following the developments in the industry. I see myself more at educating because I am a vocational teacher. I took my university degree in 2018, so I'm ready to start teaching this because I'm licensed to do so. So my mission is to get curly hair and Afro hair into the hairdressing schools in Sweden. I know that there's already an Afro hair school from another salon and they have an urban academy, which is more like the salon is doing courses. I think their education is great! My mission is just slightly different. I would like to actually get into the industry organization “Frisörföretagarna” (Hairdressers in business) and actually start educating teachers, so they can start educating people into the actual regular programs into high school education with hairdresser majors. I think that's the way we're going to be able to have salons where you could go into any salon, and they have some knowledge of cutting. As long as you have private courses, the interested hairdressers are going to come in and learn but the rest are just going to be like they were before. But if you get it into the actual system and make sure that you're not going to be able to get your hairdressing license unless you’ve done a curly hair cut, maybe on the chemical side, knowledge about relaxers, and so on. Because I think it's strange that it’s not. I mean why shouldn’t it be? A lot of industry education is really old. They teach curly perms that they did in the 80's and all this really old stuff instead of focusing on what's happening to the industry, what the world is looking like. The world is getting more mixed and we’re getting more different textured hair types. I think that’s where I see myself. And my business, I hope it just continues as it does. I would like to keep doing what I'm doing. I’m proud of at least in here, I’ve educated three new Afro hair specialists, that all came to me when they were in hairdressing school when they started their internship. And then they all stayed after and started working with me. So now when they go out to the world, they’re going to know all of this stuff. So for me, at least I gave them something. And that is my main goal, to pass on the knowledge.

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