Issue 70.10 - Battle of the Sexes | Special Edition III | February 14, 2018 by The TSU Herald

VOLUME 70 | ISSUE 10 February 14, 2018

THE TSU HERALD

THE POSITIVE

BLACK MALE

Eric Adejuwon

BATTLE OF THE SEXES Have you ever wondered what the opposite sex really thinks about love?

Young Black Men and Co-Eds share their collegiate experiences with sex and relationships.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

EDITORIAL STAFF Todd Travon Rogers EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Brandon Aninipot MANAGING EDITOR Tasha Poullard OPINIONS EDITOR Januel Burton LIFE & STYLE EDITOR Jabari Sherman SPORTS EDITOR Paige M. Hubbard Social Media Manager STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Mikol Kindle Jr. Kordell Tilley Mia Belanger GRAPHIC DESIGNER

Barack and Michelle Obama share a simple kiss showing real Black love.

Darren Bias EXECUTIVE PRODUCER TSU Herald Digital News

POSITIVE BLACK MALE Eric Adejuwon talks vulnerability in love.

STAFF WRITER Jada Hardnett Eric Adejuwon DiCarlo Warren Jordan Stanley Tamerras Leonard Justine Pemberton Kailyn Hamilton Jameelah Reid

IMAGES OF BLACK LOVE Barack and Michelle. Jay-Z and Beyonce. Florida and James. INANIMATE LOVE What men will do to feel a romantic void.

SEXT IN THE CITY Is she doing too much to get his attention on social media? FIRST YEAR LOVE How freshmen deal with love and sex.

Jordan Stanley BUSINESS MANAGER

facebook.com/thetsuherald twitter.com/thetsuherald

EPISODE 4: VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL featuring Jeremiah “COOP” Cooper and Paige M. Hubbard

The TSU Herald will be hosting a “WAR OF THE ROSES” LAUNCH EVENT on February 21, 2018 in collaboration with TSU CATS models and the Office of Student Publications – send RSVP to tsu.heraldeditor@gmail.com

The TSU Herald is published by the students of Texas Southern University. Opinions expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the administration. The newspaper is printed biweekly, except during holidays and examination periods.

For additional information, call (713) 313-6710

POSITIVE BLACK MALE

THE POSITIVE BLACK MALE

By Eric Adejuwon Contributing Writer

Dear tenacious women of Texas Southern, I owe

you. With Valentine’s Day steadily approaching, I indebtedly owe you a gift for all the blessings you give mankind on the daily. Rather than compensate you with the usual bouquet of roses or a shopping spree of your choice, which you’d probably want anyway, I’ve decided to present you with a gift far more intimate than a kiss and more precious than any monetary item I could ever purchase. Sweetheart, this year, I’ve decided to be a man and bless you with the gift of my vulnerability.

Now, you probably are asking why would I choose that over a tangible thing to give you. I know you are formulating questions in your head and thinking along the lines of, “What am I going to do with that?” Well, I’ll tell you. As a man, we are big on the external view of things such as status, cars, clothing, and girlfriends, rather than the internal aspects of life. Due to our social and parental backgrounds, the majority of us were raised to not be in tune with our emotions, or our internal conscience and our hearts. Instead, we just focus on the tangibles and let things handle themselves when it comes to love and hereafter. Unfortunately, this way of thinking keeps

me from truly being 100% of a man for you. Because I am not intune with my inner-self, I tend to drift away easily when I’m bored. Because I lack firm positioning in my emotions, I shut down when it comes to conflict in our relationship. Because I have not embraced my vulnerability, I can never fully commit to you. The truth hurts, I know, but you must know the truth for us to grow. To truly love you, I must recognize that vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s where my strength is built. To truly love you, I must take emotional, physical, and mental accountability for our relationship. To truly love you, I must be able

to open my heart to your dreams, desires, fears, and doubts. To truly love you, I must become personally invested with you, rather than romantically invested in you. So, on this Valentine’s Day, I present to you a rose comprised of heartfelt receptiveness and a vulnerable heart that beats for you undoubtedly, Queen. I owe it all, to you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

BLACK LOVE

Images of Black Love Are Very Important ByJanuel Burton Life & Style Editor

rip it out from the roots. So, when you see those couples “booed up” on the Tiger Walk, Instagram or just out and about, give them a nod confirmation. It cannot and will not be stopped.

Barack and Michelle. Jay-Z and Beyonce. Oprah and Stedman. Hell, even James and Florida Evans from Good Times. These are all amazing examples of Black love being portrayed in the media. Instagram even has a Black love hashtag that portrays beautiful couples flourishing in love. These images are important to the Black community. Of course, interracial dating is nice, but there is just something so inspiring about seeing two people of color genuinely in to a relationship in a world love. where the media portrays Showing the imag- Black men as “ain’t shit” es of a Black couple in love or completely absent, and gives others a sense of Black women are portrayed confidence, or relationship as “loud and ghetto”. Yet, goals. Society has tried to these same people “Chrisbreak down the Black fam- topher Columbus” the culily with the slave trade, the ture to try to obtain what war on drugs, and sending we have. Black men to prison, leaving When it comes to Black women to become the Black love, there is a sense head of families. of security and hope. We Regardless of the see the way Barack dotes harsh history that Black on Michelle and we joke people have faced in this about the way Jay-Z hapcountry and despite the psy- pily photographs Beyoncé chological damage that has for Instagram, but in those been done, love that exists moments of fist bumps and between a Black man and selfies, there is love. a Black woman represents It is a love most peochoosing and being chosen ple want to be secured in back. Black Love Matters! when they are in a relation It is inspiring to see a ship. Who doesn’t want a Black couple truly love each supportive partner, a homie, other. It’s difficult to hold on lover friend?

“Black love is radical. It is innovative. Because everything in history says it shouldn’t be here, it is political. Black love is revolutionary because black love shouldn’t exist.” Staff contributor Reginald Cunningham for the Huffington Post stated, “Black love is radical. It is innovative. Because everything in history says it Black love is the defi- shouldn’t be here, it is ponition. It makes my heart litical. Black love is revolusmile when I see my fellow tionary because black love Tigers walking hand in hand shouldn’t exist.” on the Tiger Walk. Though sometimes your significant other can get on your nerves nothing beats knowing that they are a text away to help you deal with the daily microaggressions we as Black people face in this world. It’s a comfort knowing that you don’t have to explain to “Becky with the good hair” what it means to be racially profiled for walking into a store, or how you were pulled over for DWB (Driving While Black). We need each other. Black love is something special. Something that should be highly regarded. Something that stood the test of time when people tried to

SEX DOLLS

INANIMATE LOVE: Men Use Sex Dolls to Fill the Void Left Due to Commitment Issues Tasha Poullard Opinions Editor

is impossible with a doll.

Keep in mind we attack women who chose to practice abstinence and not have children – considering them to be counterproductive to the procreation of I personally find it mankind. We even quesironic that men won't al- tion their morality if they low their sons to play with chose to use adult novelties baby dolls or Barbie due to to curve a sexual appetite, a fear of cultivating homo- while men have used these sexuality in their sons. Yet, same methods (just in difthey're willing to purchase ferent form) for decades. a life-size doll for close to $1,000 to not only engage Having a realistic doll in sexual activity with but leads to creating an emoto compensate for the dys- tional connection to the function they experience object, and often do inspire with real-life women. real affection (even devo There was a time in our age of humanity when having a doll or even an adult novelty was embarrassing. It was something that you hid from the rest of civilization as a dirty little secret, but now people are openly professing to the world that they’re choosing the companionship of a doll over that of another human being.

tion) to the doll that can now be seen as another human being. Some men assign personalities and preferences to the dolls they design.

Whereas novelties for women are seen as nothing more than something that's a "quick fix" to satisfy a natural urge but isn't seen as another human being. A love for one’s own creation, which in a way, is what’s We’re less okay with leading most men to feel emotional attachments that the need to create the peraren’t socially productive, fect ideal woman that has and so it seems the distaste no rights, is not protected is strongest for the small by the law and cannot resubset of men who consider ject particular behaviors themselves to be in roman- and characteristics. tic relationships with their dolls, rather than just using According to many them for sex. We expect sociologist and psycholoa relationship to involve gist, this can lead to isolamutual consent, a kind of tion – especially when the equality and reciprocity that object is human-shaped,

and the relationship is sexual. Not to mention that fact that owning a love doll can have social and psychological consequences for men who want to develop these intimate and erotic relationships with an inanimate human form. It decreases their ability to interact with human women. And this inability to communicate with women is one the characteristics of serial rapist and murders.

on some aspects we’d rather not see. Meaning, these woman-shaped things, which can be whatever their owners want them to be, represent the far end of a spectrum of social attitudes towards the female gender.

Seems like men would like real women to be a little more like dolls, perfect in form, mute, having no rights or ability to speak for them There are many un- selves, and at the mercy of derstandable, even sympa- a man. thetic, reasons for owning sex dolls. Some doll owners are just having fun, while others may actually suffer from social anxiety or even disabilities that might make human relationships difficult. Where the frequent justification for the dolls from doll-lovers is that: Women are unpredictable, and dolls are steadfast; women will leave you and dolls are loyal. Of course, they are, because they’re not real! This leads many people, mostly women, to question if intimacy will inevitably return back to the basics of human interaction and relationship between the genders? This shift in sexuality may be demonstrating a skewed reflection of modern male-female relationships, with emphasizes

FIRST YEAR

First Year

Love, Sex, and Relationships By DiCarlo Warren Contributing Writer

College is said to be the best period of your life. You truly have your own freedom to find your values, likes, dislikes, friends, etc. It’s also a time for you to grow spiritually and mentally in order to attract your significant other. But often times this isn’t the case. Most students think that freshmen usually come to school ready to fool around with anything walking. That’s how we’re perceived and I don’t necessarily feel this is a fair judgment. I feel the way freshmen perceive the values of love, sex, and relationships are based on how mature they are, and it has nothing to do with a classification. Personally, consider all three values because I know how powerful they can be. Typically, I try not to get involved with someone unless they have the same values.

Oh! So You’re Leaving Me? By Jordan Stanley Contributing Writer

Oh! You think you’re better than Queen Bey? My beautiful Black queens, allow me to start off by saying I love you all dearly. You all create and form today’s culture as we know it today. Without you, all the world would be trash, but when it comes to relationships, please stop living a kindergarten fairytale world.

News flash! Men will cheat. I’m sorry, but our flesh is weak.

If Beyonce got cheated on, what makes you think you’re better than Queen Bey? It can happen to you too. I have one solution to cheating in relationships. I say, be strong like your grandma, mama, and aunt. Don’t let a little cheating destroy your happiness.

WOMAN OF GOLD

HOW TO BE A WOMAN OF GOLD By Tamerras Leonard Contributing Writer

Dear Women, Yes, you’re beautiful outwardly but your substance lies with what’s within. Your presence radiates a light that causes atmospheres to shift. You breathe life into everything you connect with, whether you’re cognizant of it or not. You are more than a lover, you’re an experience, with a mind that breeds awareness. A soul that birth fulfillment. A vessel, that is a walking form of food for thought. You are Golden: meaning, life has conjured this beautiful being. To be Gold isn’t a mere symbol of perfection, but instead, a commitment to unconditionally learn and to love oneself. I hope that you choose to accept your truths, for better or for worse. Each battle that you’ve faced, every insecurity felt, and every victory won has formed a tenacious, vibrant, empowering, and strong woman. Your story is a representation of Grace. Your existence breeds Optimism to those around you. You are, Love. Your life embodies Dignity. You are G.O.L.D.

GIRLS WANT

What a Girl Wants, What a Girl Gets By Justine Pemberton Contributing Writer

First and foremost, you should know love isn’t going to happen by looking into someone’s eyes or sliding into their DM’s, so take your time and get to know someone. When the dopamine and serotonin are released into your brain you will know. You will know that you’re actually in love when the small things your partner does for you outweigh the annoying.

Just because you’re having sex with someone doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship. Know your place. Maybe you should really get to know your sexual partner first because they might be trying to figure out what’s going on with you too. If you’re having casual sexual encounters, don’t be embarrassed, baby own it. If you’re in a relationship in college, bless your heart. You have a sense of security, happiness, support, and a teammate. While some relationships come with many perks, remember you worked hard to get into college.

So go have college experiences. Don’t lock yourself down. You can go out with your friends, you can dance when you’re in public as long as you’re respecting your relationship. Its okay to go home by yourself. It is okay to go and watch Netflix with a box of chocolates you bought yourself from your local drug store. If you know you don’t have any plans try and play matchmaker for your roommate or friends. If you get home late from a party hit your single friends up for a movie night. REMEMBER: not having sex won’t kill you.

SELF-LOVE

SELF-LOVE IS

ESSENTIAL By Tasha Poullard Opinions Editor

I have never been the type to chase after a man. Even after having a man leave me for another woman and surviving verbal abuse from another, the need to ‘have a man’ has never been the driving force of validation for me.

what we share and where I stand with him. I know that what I have to offer a man goes beyond the simplicity of the girlfriend experience, both literally and figuratively. There’s more to me than being a sounding board for life’s frustrations, a home cooked meal, and sexual release when he’s ready for company.

I know that I’m more than just a man’s future baby mama. Some men will see me

I know that I’m worth a man being openly honest with me about how he views

I know that my worth is a testimony of love, compassion, sacrifice, and forgiveness that has taken a lifetime of self-love and discovery to find and explore. Being created by the Most High, I’m a blessing unto any man that finds me and makes me his wife. For I am worth more than my weight in precious gems. And I’m exactly who someone is praying for.

I know that I’m worth more than being his side piece, jump off, or in a relationship of convenience. I’m worth more than being strung along with empty promises of a potential future with a man who’d rather text than talk.

as being good enough to lay with, but not good enough to start and headship a family with. If he can make time to create life with me, he should be able to make time and space in his heart to make you his wife. All in all, what keeps me humble and pleased in my singleness is that I’ve learned to embrace the lesson’s learned from the heartbreaks, mistakes I’ve made, let downs and disappointments while engaging in what I assumed was my version of love. For these instances of misfortune in my life when seeking to connect with a masculine spirit further made me understand how to appreciate real, and genuine love when I’m found by it. As women, we must learn to honestly know and define our overall worth for ourselves. And in the process

learning to rebuke any cutdowns, rejections and personal attacks that may arise as a result of not having ‘a man’. Any woman can have a man. As a matter a fact many women have ‘a man’ and still aren’t happy with who they’re with. As women, we must understand that being single doesn’t mean you’ve failed at life or that on man will ever want us. Tis the period of singleness that you should utilize to learn what’s best for you in a committed relationship or marriage. That can only transpire when you learn how to define what defines happiness for you. So don’t be so quick to rush into anything in order to say you have ‘something’. Allow yourselves the time needed to define what true love looks, feels like and means to you.

DEAR JOHN By Kailyn Hamilton Contributing Writer

There are a lot of things I could say. There are a lot of words I could write. And the truth is I should know. I should know something or some way to express these feelings, these emotions, and this attraction. It could be simple, but it isn’t. I could know everything, but I don’t. I should though. I should know. I should know how to describe it in its entirety, but I don’t. And I don’t know if I ever will. I mean, I know that I’m past the moment of conception and the moment the idea of you became necessary. I know the exact space in time when my survival grew to be dependent. It’s natural. I can transform the way I do because you exist. Because you breathe, I am more of myself and more than I’ve ever been. I am more than I could ever be. My body and my soul won’t let me be away. Your eyes are the windows to my heaven and your smile could heal a million souls. The first time I ever touched your spirit, I felt the earth moving in the palms of my hands. You see, nothing else works. Nothing else can be, but I know, I know and I under-

LOVE LETTERS stand that here, you and I do not last forever. I know that in time we will part ways. Yet still, I will not cope.I have assured you as I did myself, though it may be premature. I choose you, come what may. And as long as I live there will be us in tandem. If I never it said before, you should know then, that I need you. I’d follow you into oblivion. I am possessed by the idea of us and tormented by the notion that anything else could ever be. John Christopher Upshaw I am, absolutely, entirely, completely and utterly in love with you.

GOT GIFTS? The Wesley Foundation especially needs:

SINGERS WRITERS VIDEOGRAPHERS VISUAL ARTISTS SPOKEN-WORD DANCERS ACTORS

Couple Kailyn Hamilton and John Upshaw

True Love By Jameelah Reid Contributing Writer

Have you ever really stopped to think what Valentines Day is about? This day and age we all get so swept up in the illusion of what it’s “supposed” to be or what true love feels like, but no one really seems to know because they really focus on showing off what they get from – who they got it from – when who they got it – from isn’t the one who they get IT from. No one really seems to comprehend how much time and effort it takes to keep that one lover around and not just for Valentines Day, or any other holiday. Have you ever really stopped to think what Valentines Day is about?

Jameelah Reid/ TSU Herald

Have you ever questioned the fact that your loved one is taking ONE day out of the year to show you affection or love? Baby, that is not love. True love isn’t something you can plan one day out of the year. It’s not something you can buy out of the jewelry store, or something comes in a heart-shaped candy box full of chocolates and a card with an “I love you” on the inside. True love has no expiration date. There’s no limit on how much to give, no specific date to celebrate,and no secrets to hide. It’s two people who learn to become one. One mind, body, one heart, and one soul living in complete harmony on a constant ride that doesn’t end.

What Are Friends For?

Can You Keep My Secrets?

BATTLE OF THE SEXES Have you ever wondered what the opposite sex really thinks about love?

Young Black Men and Co-Eds share their collegiate experiences with sex and relationships.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Young college co-eds celebrate love and friendship.

Jameelah Reid/ TSU Herald

Darren Bias EXECUTIVE PRODUCER TSU Herald Digital News

LOVE LETTERS Lovebirds share their feelings for their significant other.

STAFF WRITER Jada Hardnett Eric Adejuwon DiCarlo Warren Jordan Stanley Tamerras Leonard Justine Pemberton Kailyn Hamilton Jameelah Reid

SELF-LOVE You won’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself. WHAT A GIRL WANTS Tips for modern women on how to navigate

WOMAN OF GOLD Tamerras Leonard give advice to women. VALENTINE’S SPENDING Where is your money going during the love season?

Jordan Stanley BUSINESS MANAGER

instagram.com/thetsuherald facebook.com/thetsuherald twitter.com/thetsuherald

EPISODE 4: VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL featuring Jeremiah “COOP” Cooper and Paige M. Hubbard

For additional information, call (713) 313-6710

HOW TO

BE A

WOMAN

OF GOLD

VOLUME 70 | ISSUE 10 February 14, 2018

THE TSU HERALD