Tucson Weekly, May 27, 2021 by Tucson Weekly

CURRENTS: TAKE A SAFARI AT THE ZOO

MAY 27 - JUNE 3, 2021 • TUCSONWEEKLY.COM • FREE

Summer Survival 2021 Are You Ready To Have Some Fun Again? Our Annual Guide to Keeping Your Cool in the Triple Digits DANEHY: Math Is Not Racist

MUSIC: The Black Moods Are Walking on Sunshine

MAY 27, 2021

MAY 27, 2021 | VOL. 36, NO. 21

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM

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STAFF

CONTENTS

CURRENTS

Reid Park Zoo Throws a ‘Beach Party’ for Summer Safari Nights

CURRENTS

With support from College Success Arizona, DACA student earns biz degree at Eller College of Management

MUSIC

The Black Moods return to the Tucson stage

SPECIAL SECTION

Summer Survival 2021: How to stay active and safe this summer

TUCSON WEEDLY

On Fourth Avenue, Arte Bella offers weed-friendly events

Going for Broke

THE SKINNY

GOV. DOUG DUCEY AND LEGISLATIVE Republicans are on the verge of a massive tax cut for Arizona’s wealthiest residents, with cities and towns set to pay for it for decades to come. While COVID has been rough on many of us, it has been a boon for state revenues, especially thanks to all that stimulus money that has been flowing to the Grand Canyon State from Uncle Sam. As a result, the state is sitting on a massive surplus—and Ducey plans to use the windfall to push through a flat income tax. While a flat tax might sound fair at first blush, it basically amounts to a tax cut of $826 million that’s going to 30,000 of Arizona’s highest earners, according to the analysts at the Grand Canyon Institute, a centrist think tank focused on economic issues. Leaders of cities and towns would be hammered by this proposal, losing an estimated $225 million a year in state-shared revenues— money that pays for cops, firefighters, parks, roads and other local services. We have to admit that we’re a bit shocked to hear GOP leaders pushing so hard to defund the police. We know the last year has been hard on the 1% and they may need a massive tax break, but as a recent report from the Grand Canyon Institute points out, the state has plenty of outstanding needs—and attending to them could go a long way toward making the state more attractive to business. For example, the state could stop rolling over education costs into future budgets, put an end to stiffing schools on repair bills, invest in the highway system, reverse cuts to the universities and community colleges and put some money toward affordable housing programs as property values skyrocket.

Jaime Hood, General Manager, Ext. 12 jaime@tucsonlocalmedia.com Claudine Sowards, Accounting, Ext. 13 claudine@tucsonlocalmedia.com Sheryl Kocher, Receptionist, Ext. 10 sheryl@tucsonlocalmedia.com

Ducey, Republican leaders aim to give away hundreds of millions of dollars to Arizona’s richest while neglecting the state’s needs By Jim Nintzel jimn@tucsonlocalmedia.com

ADMINISTRATION Steve T. Strickbine, Publisher Michael Hiatt, Vice President

Team Ducey knows this tax cut is an unpopular idea, which is why they are trying to ram it through with few hearings as to the impact. Ducey Chief of Staff Daniel Scarpinato tried to sell it as a tax cut for all Arizonans, but there’s no doubt that Arizona’s top earners get most of the benefit, while folks on the bottom see their services and programs cut. You know who understands what a bad idea this is? Jan Brewer, the former Republican governor who had to slash state spending after she inherited a big deficit in 2009. “History has taught me that it would be imprudent to base a large, permanent tax cut, with $19 billion over the next decade, on a snapshot of revenue and expenditure forecasts artificially bolstered by the federal largesse,” Brewer wrote in the Arizona Republic last week. Brewer suggested the state instead consider tax rebates. There are a few Republican lawmakers who are holding out against the proposal. We can only hope they stand firm and block this heist of state revenues for the benefit of those who need it least. The upcoming fight this week is pretty much it. If Ducey wins, the tax cut is permanent; it would require an impossible two-thirds majority of the Arizona Legislature to reverse it. Unless this lousy idea is stopped now, you can forget about better schools, better streets, better parks. The rich will get richer, the poor will get poorer and Doug Ducey will be off running for president with the support of all those wealthy folks he made wealthier while the next governor is left holding the bill.

EDITORIAL Jim Nintzel, Executive Editor, Ext. 38 jimn@tucsonlocalmedia.com Jeff Gardner, Associate Editor, Ext. 43 jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com Mike Truelsen, Web Editor, Ext. 35 mike@tucsonlocalmedia.com Christina Duran, Staff Reporter, Ext. 42 christinad@tucsonlocalmedia.com Contributors: Rob Brezsny, Max Cannon, Rand Carlson, Tom Danehy, Emily Dieckman, Bob Grimm, Andy Mosier, Linda Ray, Margaret Regan, Will Shortz, Jen Sorensen, Clay Jones, Dan Savage PRODUCTION David Abbott, Production Manager, Ext. 18 david@tucsonlocalmedia.com Ryan Dyson, Graphic Designer, Ext. 26 ryand@tucsonlocalmedia.com Emily Filener, Graphic Designer, Ext. 29 emilyf@tucsonlocalmedia.com CIRCULATION Alex Carrasco, Circulation, Ext. 17, alexc@tucsonlocalmedia.com ADVERTISING Kristin Chester, Account Executive, Ext. 25 kristin@tucsonlocalmedia.com Candace Murray, Account Executive, Ext. 24 candace@tucsonlocalmedia.com Lisa Hopper, Account Executive Ext. 39 lisa@tucsonlocalmedia.com Tyler Vondrak, Account Executive, Ext. 27 tyler@tucsonlocalmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING VMG Advertising, (888) 278-9866 or (212) 475-2529 Tucson Weekly® is published every Thursday by Times Media Group at 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona. Address all editorial, business and production correspondence to: Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona 85741. Phone: (520) 797-4384, FAX (520) 575-8891. First Class subscriptions, mailed in an envelope, cost $112 yearly/53 issues. Sorry, no refunds on subscriptions. Member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia (AAN). The Tucson Weekly® and Best of Tucson® are registered trademarks of Times Media Group. Back issues of the Tucson Weekly are available for $1 each plus postage for the current year. Publisher has the right to refuse any advertisement at his or her discretion.

Hear Jim Nintzel talk about fun things to do at 9:30 a.m. Wednesday mornings during the World Famous Frank Show on KLPX, 96.1 FM. Editor’s Note will return next week. Rand Carlson’s Random Shots can be found on Page 5.

Copyright: The entire contents of Tucson Weekly are Copyright © 2019 by Thirteenth Street Media. No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means without the express written permission of the Publisher, Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, AZ 85741.

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MAY 27, 2021

CURRENTS

PHOTO BY JEFF GARDNER

Reid Park Zoo staff feeds the elephants during their morning checkup.

SHORE THING

Reid Park Zoo Throws a ‘Beach Party’ for Summer Safari Nights dip in the zoo’s 90,000 gallon pool to beat the heat. But this is only the beginning of their care. While they enjoy swimming themselves, the zoo staff also offers the elephants “spa days” during the summer. ALTHOUGH TUCSON IS LOCATED The Reid Park Zoo also has mud holes (or multiple hours from the nearest seashore, “wallows”) where the elephants like Nandi the Reid Park Zoo is inviting the public to and baby Penzi can cover themselves. a beach party featuring elephants, alliga“If you want to take care of elephants, tors and plenty of other animals that love you need to take care of their skin,” said to splash in the water. The beach party Cassie Dodds, an elephant care supervisor is the latest installation in the Reid Park for Reid Park Zoo. “They need the right Zoo’s Summer Safari Nights, where the consistency of clay and moisture to protect public can enjoy some special talks about them from the sun and insects.” various animals, plus live music, food and Dodds highlighted the importance drinks, family games and activities with the of maintaining the elephants’ feet. The wildlife. animals require the right consistency of On Saturday, May 22, their “Pollinator sand and dirt for feet because they’re so Power” themed night highlighted animals heavy—the largest elephant at Reid Park like bees, hummingbirds and butterflies. The “Beach Party” night on Saturday, May weighs a massive 13,000 pounds. Mainte29, will show off the sandy and aquatic ele- nance involves daily foot checks where the ments of elephants, otters, bears and more. elephants raise one foot onto a fence so the zookeepers can check their pads for any Although typically observed in forests and grasslands, elephants are known to be problems. Training for these types of checks strong swimmers. The Reid Park Zoo has involves feeding them cucumber, lettuce, five African Elephants who get to take a By Jeff Gardner jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com

bination of grass, dirt, water and driftwood, similar to their natural habitats of rivers and swamps. The African spotted-necked otters can hold their breath for up to 5 minutes. 5:30 to 8:30 p.m., Saturday, May 29 “Otters are built for swimming and life in the water, and they even have flippers,” said Jennifer Stoddard, education supervi3400 Zoo Court sor for Reid Park Zoo. “Their eye site is also great underwater, which is the main way $10.50 for adults, $6.50 for children they find their food.” Although their typical diet mostly reidparkzoo.org consists of fish and some crustaceans, they have a fondness for cucumber, which is often given out by the zookeepers for trainzucchini and carrots as rewards, whereas ing and presentation purposes. they normally eat foods like hay and tree “Although they spend so much time branches. The zoo even works with local tree trimmers to obtain some of their food. in the water, they don’t have blubber, but a double layer of fur that helps them keep The training and swimming typically warm no matter how the water is,” Stodhappen with the elephants together, due to the importance of family groups. Dodds dard said. As with many other Reid Park Zoo says the zoo puts a lot of effort into making events, conservation is an important sure they’re socializing, although the zookeepers try to stay out of the elephants’ element of Summer Safari Nights, with staff discussing how visitors can support hierarchy. They even learned that the different animals at the event. To help elephants can recognize individual zoothe otters, Stoddard says Reid Park Zoo keepers despite COVID masks, because they rely more on their senses of smell and visitors should do what the otters already do, and eat sustainable seafood. The only hearing rather than sight. “We’ve learned it’s best to give them the difference being humans can check the packaging of their food for sustainability right environment to take care of themselves,” Dodds said. “Keeping them healthy certifications. The Reid Park Zoo’s Summer Safari is about the environment.” Nights continue every Saturday through The more explicitly aquatic animals Aug. 14. Upcoming themes include large featured at the upcoming Summer animals, reptiles, animal athletes, AmeriSafari Nights are the zoo’s African spotcan animals and art in the animal kingdom. ted-necked otters, which swim and slide around their enclosure in the center of the For more information, visit zoo. Their Reid Park home features a com- reidparkzoo.org. ■

Reid Park Zoo Summer Safari Nights Beach Party

PHOTO BY JEFF GARDNER

MAY 27, 2021

wrong people and maybe they weren’t careful with what they said and I took that very personally,” said Burrola. “I reached out and I didn’t get the answer that I wanted and it just kind of made me feel even more down and even more negative about where I stood and if I made the right deWith support from College Success Arizona, DACA student earns biz degree at Eller cision or what I wanted to do with my life. College of Management So at this point in my life I was just going through it. It was: School was hard. Work was hard. Life was hard. And now I had to before transferring to the University of apply to a business school.” By Christina Duran Arizona because as a DACA student he Burrola felt like he was not the perfect christina@tucsonlocalmedia.com had to pay out-of-state tuition, about twice candidate for Eller as someone who had that of in-state. AS A DACA STUDENT, MARCKO In his second and final year at Pima Burrola faced big barriers for entry into Community College and after 23 years, college. But this month, he graduated Burrola’s mother attained legal status, from the University of Arizona with a meaning Burrola also attained legal staBachelor’s of Science in Business Admin- tus. He then transferred to the University istration, with an emphasis in marketing of Arizona, with aspirations of studying and a Spanish minor. criminal justice and Spanish translation. As a senior at Sunnyside High School However, Burrola had doubts about what and one of the top 50 students in his class, he really wanted to pursue as a career. Burrola was a prime candidate to receive He said he told his College Success scholarships, but because of his status as adviser, “I don’t know what I want to do an undocumented student, he was losing with my life.” out on those financial After telling his Colopportunities. lege Success adviser his Luckily, Burrola learned interests in business, she about and applied to helped him make the right College Success Arizona, connections, which led a scholarship and advishim to the Eller College of ing program for those Management. who may find it difficult Despite the support to pursue a post-secondhe received from College ary education. Burrola Success and later as a made some strategic member of the Hispanic choices after receiving his Honorary at Eller, Burrola scholarship from College faced negative feedback Success Arizona. With a from some advisors in the full-ride scholarship to college who did not think Pima Community College, he would succeed. Courtesy photo Burrola decided to attend “I just spoke to the community college first

CURRENTS

POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE

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not studied business before and tried to tailor his experiences to the business school, only to realize his unique experience set him apart. Throughout his time at Pima and then the university, he worked to pay for his living expenses as well as school books and materials, because as a “first gen college student, you don’t have the privilege to just be a full-time college student.” He would work on his homework before work in his car and during his 30 minute break, then after work. CONTINUED ON PAGE 6

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MAY 27, 2021

POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5

Even if he did not have to work and he could go back in time, Burrola said he would still work while attending school. “It prepares you and it teaches you to be a little bit more humble and more appreciative of that full time job after college,” said Burrola who worked at a fast food restaurant. “It would give me that motivation to say, ‘I personally don’t want to keep doing this for the rest of my life so I want to go to college so I can be able to work where I want to work, where I love to work.’” Burrola thanked his parents for making him the person he is today, and said he learned his work ethic from them. He remembers his mother attended tutoring classes after school with him so she could learn to do his homework and be sure Burrola was completing it correctly and also learned English alongside him. “As a child you can learn so much faster, but her being in a country where she didn’t know the language as much and she was scared to be profiled or discrim-

SORENSEN

inated, she could still go and ask for help to teach her so I could know, and my dad I would always see him waking up really early, working two jobs just to be able to help us have a home, have AC, being able to go to school, have good shoes, a good backpack,” said Burrola. “This degree is not only for me but is also for my parents, because if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be such a completely different person and I wouldn’t know what it means to work hard.” Burrola has accepted a position with TTI (Techtronic Industries) as an event marketing specialist and plans to continue his education in the future to pursue a doctorate degree. He hopes to inspire and help other DACA students to achieve their goals. “I don’t want those students to feel like they’re stuck or like it’s impossible because there’s so much talent out there, especially for DACA students, because DACA students work so much, and they work so hard and so do first gen students, to get to where they are,” said Burrola. “I want them to continue to achieve their goals and break the stereotypes and break the statistics.” ■

MAY 27, 2021

DANEHY TIME TO CALL BS ON PEOPLE WHO SAY MATH INSTRUCTION IS RACIST By Tom Danehy, tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com THOSE OF US WHO TEND TO LEAN A certain way politically are quick to expect the dwindling number of reasonable people on the center-right to come to the defense of America and democracy when their brethren on the fringes introduce yet another conspiracy theory or a lame-brained explanation as to why they think it’s okay for horrible people to do horrible things. But if we don’t point out stupidity on our side of the divide, aren’t we guilty of the ultimate political sin, that of hypocrisy? It is in that spirit that I share with you something so mind-numbingly bizarre that it affords all Americans—left, center, and right—the rare opportunity to come together to roundly ridicule something that has inexplicably made its way into the public square. It is called “A Pathway to Equitable Math Instruction: Dismantling Racism in Math Instruction.” In its opening salvo of dumbassery masquerading as we-care-so-much pedagogy, the authors write “White supremacy culture infiltrates math classrooms in everyday teacher actions…(perpetuating) educational harm on Black, Latinx, and

CLAYTOONZ By Clay Jones

multilingual students.” You heard me. White supremacy math, right here in River City. In all sincerity, we as a society should watch for racist and/or other forms of revisionist propaganda that can creep into history or civics or even English classes. The guy who was President last year, trying to counter those horrible rumors that there used to be slavery in the United States, had some of his cronies craft a flag-waving curriculum in an effort to re-white history. But this is math. Before we address this non-existent problem, can we PLEASE stop trying to make “Latinx” happen? It’s like Gretchen Weiner in Mean Girls trying to make “fetch” a thing. Latinx is defined as “relating to people of Latin American origin or descent (used as a gender-neutral or non-binary alternative to Latino or Latina).” Seriously?! Do we really need to do that? I’m old enough to remember when the term most-commonly used was “Mexican.” Not Mexican-American, but Mexican, even if somebody was Guatemalan or Dominican or Chilean. Thankfully, society evolved to “Hispanic,” which a lot of people still use.

Few, if any, people are offended by it. But then, some people moved on to the next step and began using Latino or Latina. You should never say never; there may well be a new term that comes along in a decade or so that supplants Hispanic and Latina. But it damn sure ain’t gonna be Latinx. It’s like taking the seventh derivative of an equation and expecting it to mean something. (The first two derivatives give you velocity and acceleration, while the third gives you jerk, which is basically the acceleration of the acceleration. The fourth, fifth and sixth derivatives give you nonsense. They’re known as snap, crackle and pop, which shows you just how seriously they should be taken. The seventh may someday be known as Latinx.) I suppose I understand the desire of some people to use a word that is non-gender-specific. But there are others who prefer to be referred to in gender-specific terms. So, in an effort to keep from offending one group, you end up offending another. Sticking with the calculus theme, trying to find the perfect word is like approaching something as a limit. You’re never going to get there. I read the entire textbook just to see if, on Page 37, it was revealed that it was a side project by people from The Onion. But no, it’s serious (and quite embarrassing, as well). Some of their main points are that “we see (that) white supremacy culture in the mathematics classroom can show up when: “There is a greater emphasis on getting the ‘right’ answer.” IT’S MATH!!! The right answer doesn’t

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come with quotes. It’s the right answer! I have a friend who is an African-American woman with a Ph.D. Her daughter just graduated high school last week and is off to USC in the fall, where she will either try to make the world a better place or join a sorority. (You can’t do both.) I asked the mom how she would feel if she got a notice from the school informing her that because of her daughter’s ethnicity, the child wouldn’t be required to get the correct answers in her math class. The kid would just have to try hard. The mom’s response was what you might expect from someone who is a mother first and a Ph.D second. “Independent practice is valued over teamwork and collaboration.” Um…IT’S MATH!!! Since when do students of any ethnic background solve a math problem by committee? “Contrived word problems are valued over the math in students’ lived experiences.” OK, not many people like word problems. (I always did, but I’m weird.) I tutor a lot of kids and I have yet to see a word problem that asks “How many debutantes can you fit on the deck of a 40-foot yacht?” Or, “How much fabric would it take to make pointy hoods for the entire Congressional Freedom Caucus?” This is a solution to a problem that simply does not exist. In my second Mean Girls reference of the day, math is the same in every language. Shame on the people who came up with the book and shame on liberals and progressives who don’t call BS on it. ■

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM

MAY 27, 2021

MUSIC

The Black Moods w/ Joshua Strickland of The Bayou Bandits 7 p.m. Friday, May 28 The Rock, 136 N. Park Avenue $15; 21 and older rocktucson.com

PHOTO BY JIM LOUVAU

Bassist Jordan Hoffman, singer-guitarist Josh Kennedy and drummer Chico Diaz are The Black Moods.

ROCKIN’ ON SUNSHINE The Black Moods return to the Tucson stage By Christina Fuoco-Karasinski tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com

THE BLACK MOODS’ 2020 ALBUM SUNSHINE spawned four Top 30 hits on the Billboard mainstream rock chart. Now the Tempe band is ready to do it again. The trio—singer/guitarist Josh Kennedy, bassist

Jordan Hoffman and drummer Chico Diaz—recently wrapped up its next record with producer John Karkazis, better known as Johnny K. He also worked on Sunshine. The band and Karkazis are listening to the mixes now to determine the song order for the album, which is still unnamed. “I describe working with Johnny like this: The first record we did with him was a getting-to-know-you period. The new guy at the table at a holiday dinner who just mingled,” Kennedy said via telephone from the Ozarks where he was visiting family. “With the second record, it was like Christmas Vacation. You know each other really well now. You don’t hold back. I’m just not sure who was Randy Quaid and who was Chevy Chase.” Kennedy said a handful of modern rock bands are “influenced” by classic rock acts. The Black Moods are going for old school, straight-head rock on the new record. “A lot of other bands are blatantly going after the Zeppelin or Aerosmith sound,” he said. “We love it, but we didn’t want to do the same thing everyone else is doing. We’re going with the Rolling Stones approach. It’s a lot looser. That’s the best way I can explain it. It’s a natural-sounding rock band thing. There are some hard songs and lighter songs. It’s a good dynamic.” The same applied to The Black Moods’ latest

record Sunshine, which featured the hits “Bella Donna,” “Bad News,” “Whatcha Got” and the title track. Those radio-friendly songs were met with “Home,” a love letter to his family and his hometown. Kennedy, Hoffman and Diaz will bring those songs to The Rock on Friday, May 28. “We know a lot of people who say, ‘Come play Tucson,’” Kennedy said. “We haven’t done it in a year. It’s a good time. Radio down there has been really good to us for the past two singles. We hang out and play on the air with (KLPX’s) Larry Mac.” The Black Moods’ tour dates also include a set at the four-day Aftershock festival in Sacramento. Metallica headlines Oct. 8 and Oct. 10. The Black Moods play Oct. 9, when My Chemical Romance was slated to headline. That band postponed its tour in early May. Organizers are expected to announce a headliner by the end of May. By Aftershock, the band may be playing new tunes. Right now, The Black Moods are still learning them, as they started from scratch writing the songs during the pandemic. “Normally, we all come in with three or four songs finished and we go from there,” he said. “Since the pandemic hit, we’d all been together the whole time. I come in with a chorus or this or that. Most of it was a collaborative effort, which was really fun and challenging. When you come in with a complete song, you get a lot more laid out and you get to hear the song.” The Black Moods are using their shows to pitch their “Sunshine” wine, too. It complements the “Bella Donna” red wine. They celebrated the launch of the “Sunshine” wine at Rockbar in Scottsdale. “We’re so glad to be back and doing it again with the highest of energies,” Kennedy said. “I can assure you of that. We’ve missed it so much. We did the acoustic wine release thing at Rockbar. It was acoustic, but we were still out and live. That felt good. Our first full-on rock show is (Friday) May 21 at the Marquee (in Tempe). That’ll give us a little practice before we bring the songs to The Rock.” ■

MAY 27, 2021

BUDS AND BRUSHES

On Fourth Avenue, Arte Bella Offers Weed-Friendly Events By David Abbott david@tucsonlocalmedia.com ARTE BELLA OWNER JEN Christiansen is bringing together art and cannabis at her Arte Bella shop on Fourth Avenue. The new Arte Bella, which recently opened at the site of the former Irene’s Donuts at 340 N. Fourth Ave., offers art classes and a safe place for pot consumers to get together. Her “Buds and Brushes” class has become a cornerstone of the new location. An Air Force veteran, Christiansen opened the original Arte Bella at Park Place mall in 2011, offering fun art classes with adult beverage options. But as a cannabis activist and believer in the power of pot as medicine, she decided this year to take a chance on her new venture near the university. “All these people can get shit-faced and

do all this fun stuff but they look [down on] moms smoking pot?” Christiansen asked. “So I was like, fuck you, I’m gonna do this. I’m this normal housewife or whatever, and guess what? We’re smoking weed. It’s medicine. That’s the message that I was trying to get out.” When the opportunity arose, she moved into the space behind what is now Fullylove’s restaurant, which offers burgers, shakes and “deep-fried SmOreos” alongside vegan menu items. So while customers learn how to express themselves through color and cannabis, they also have a handy supply of five-star munchies at their fingertips. This Thursday (tonight, May 27) at 5 p.m., Arte Bella will kick off a monthly social with Southern Arizona NORML, offering space for like-minded cannabis users to meet once a month to relax in a welcoming CONTINUED ON PAGE 10

TUCSONWEEKLY.COM

APRIL 9, 2020

The Northwest’s Newspaper

Summer Survival 2021

BUSTIN’ LOOSE

Summer Survival 2021

It’s time to get out and—safely—have fun this summer Emily Dieckman Special to Tucson Weekly

FOR THE LAST YEAR OR so, we haven’t really had a good answer to the question “What have you been up to lately?” But with about half of all adults in Pima County vaccinated and more getting their shot every day, it seems like the pandemic is slowly starting to fade away. Not that you shouldn’t continue to take precautions such as wearing masks in crowded situations with strangers and frequently washing your hands. And with more variant strains spreading, it’s important to consider the risk when unvaccinated children are involved. The virus hasn’t vanished yet but we’re (*crosses fingers*) past the worst of it. There’s a reason that Tucson ended up on Travel + Leisure’s list of the Top 50 Places to Travel in 2021 and Condé Nast Traveler’s list 2021 Hot List: It’s fun place to be! It’s certainly been too long since we’ve sought out many of our favorite adventures in this town, so here’s a calendar that can guide you through what’s going on this summer. Get out, have fun, stay well! CAMPS & KIDS STUFF Camp Groundworks. Hopefully the youth in your life get to spend a lot of time at Groundworks—the youth-driven, nonprofit

Puppet Camp community arts space in town—this summer. They’ve got lots of great stuff coming up, but they’re kicking the summer off with Camp Groundworks, a summer camp-themed celebration that includes a virtual live stream with local musicians, a mural scavenger hunt, an art showcase and an auction. They’ve faced a lot of challenges in their first two years, but the “little nonprofit that could” is still forging ahead, and this is a great way to celebrate it. Participating is free, but donations are greatly participated to fund other events throughout the year. 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, May 29. Groundworkstucson. com

Courtesy Photo

Desert Museum Summer Camps. Whether your kids are itching to leave the house to do some exploring, or they’d rather learn about the desert from the air-conditioned comfort of home, the Desert Museum has some exciting offerings this summer, including a virtual camp, a camp onsite at the museum, a camp up on Mount Lemmon and a camp that combines both art and science. Camps run in June and July – just check the kids camp page at desertmuseumtucson. org for more info on which programs are geared toward your child’s age. There’s really nothing like summer camp, and summer camp after over a year of pandemic weirdness is going to feel extra special. desertmuseum.org

Courtesy Photo

Desert Museum Summer Camps Puppet Camp. Puppet camp is for ages 8 to 13, which is not fair, because I am 26 and I want to go to Puppet Camp. The program is hosted by Red Herring Puppets, whose founder, Lisa Sturz, has 40 years of puppetry experience and has worked with Disney, Jim Henson Productions and Lucasfilm. So she definitely, definitely knows what she’s doing. In the five-day camps, campers will create their own hand puppets with papier mache heads and cloth bodies, create their own vignettes, record their characters voices, and create a soundtrack to their very own puppet show with music and effects. They will also make a shadow puppet and scarf marionette. What a fantastically

unique experience for the creative kiddos in your life. 1 to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. Final performance is 4 p.m. on Friday. Sessions are June 7 to 11, June 21 to 25 & July 12 to 16. Red Herring Puppets in the Tucson Mall (upper level, between Macy’s and Forever 21). $150. redherringpuppets.com

Reid Park Zoo, even more so. And, hey, if you partake, it might not hurt to know that these nights also feature craft beer, prickly pear margaritas, wine and White Claws. Each week of this program has a different theme, so you can come back as many times as you want and keep learning more. (And FYI: Summer Safari Nights it’s super fun even if you at the Reid Park Zoo. don’t have kids to bring). There’s something a little 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. on Saturbit magical about getting days May 15 through Aug. to spend a summer eve14. Reid Park Zoo, 3400 ning at the zoo with your Zoo Court. $10.50 adults, kids. Watching the wonder $8.50 seniors, $6.50 kids 2 on their faces while they to 14. reidparkzoo.org learn all about our fellow members of the animal Summer at the Chilkingdom and play educadren’s Museum. Summer tional games is special. is for the kids, and that’s And doing it to the sounds why we’re so glad that of live, local music in the See Summer Survival, P4 gorgeous setting at the

Summer Survival 2021

SUMMER SURVIVAL Continued from P2 both the Tucson and Oro Valley Children’s Museums will be back in full swing just in time. The Children’s Museum Tucson (200 S. Sixth Ave.) will be open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. seven days a week, starting on Memorial Day. The Oro Valley location (11015 N. Oracle Road) will resume a six-day schedule, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Tuesday through Sunday. Capacity is limited, but fun isn’t! The Tucson location offers half-price admission during extended evening hours with bilingual programming. Both locations have also relaunched MyTime, an inclusion program for families and

children who need a more supportive environment. And don’t miss Discovery Nights, from 5 to 7 p.m. on the third Thursday of each month. ART

Summer Survival 2021

limited and you’re asked to reserve your tickets in advance. Face masks are required and guests are asked to physically distance from other groups.

Hacienda Del Sol Pop Up Drive Through Sculpture Show. Maybe you’ve gotten used to being able Tucson Museum of to quasi-interact with the Art. TMA has several world and view new parts of terrific shows this summer, it without leaving your car. And, while you might not including 4X4: Willie J. be able to make every part Bonner, Nazafarin Lotfi, of your life work with that Alejandro Macias and preference (for example, Anh-Thuy Nguyen, which are four solo shows making you usually still have to leave the car for things like up one exhibition of work surgery, or getting on a by artists “influenced by flight), with this event, you their personal experienccan have it the way you es, politics of space, and want it. This exhibit started social issues of our time.” See examples of their work last summer at Hacienda Del Sol, and now they’re below.(Through Sept. 26). making it annual! Just drive TMA is taking pandemic precautions: Attendance is through the front entrance

and follow the signage to view a lovely array of art pieces on display in the desert. On display through Sunday, June 13. Hacienda Del Sol Guest Ranch Resort, 5501 N. Hacienda Del Sol Road. Free.

spective. And Risa Waldt is showing her spring collection paintings. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, June 12, and Sunday, June 13. Don Baker is at 16530 N. Ridge Rock Road. Risa Waldt is at 65650 E. Edwin Road.

help you really get in the groove. Namaste! Please arrive at 6 p.m. to be ready for the yoga session from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Wednesday evenings throughout the summer. Armory Park, 222 S. Fifth Ave. Free.

Artists Studio Tour and Sale. Do you ever miss DVDs? They had those amazing special features section with things like deleted scenes, bloopers and behind-the-scenes content. There’s just something cool about going behind the scenes and seeing how art is made. That’s one reason why this double show, which features both art for sale and studio tours, makes for an excellent summer outing. Don Baker, who works with rusted steel on canvas, is doing a retro-

MISCELLANEOUS FUN

Tucson Cars & Coffee. If you’re a car person, you won’t want to miss this meetup hosted by Obsessions Car Club on second Saturdays. Get together with a group of fellow enthusiasts and enjoy the sights, sounds and smells of beautiful cars. Each month of this meetup has a theme. June’s is European cars, July’s is modern muscle, August is Mopars and September is GM (it goes on through the fall and winter months too, but this is the Summer Survival Guide!) Grab a

Sunset Yoga at Armory Park. If you’re anything like me, you’ve thought about taking up yoga many, many times. It’s supposed to be good for you joints, right? And your mind? And it looks like it feels so good? People who do yoga always just seem to have it together. Maybe this is the summer where you take up yoga in a free Wednesday evening class at the park. They’ll even have occasional special guest DJs to

SUMMER SURVIVAL 2021

Courtesy Photo

Summer Safari Nights coffee, grab your car, and do try to arrive early. Lord knows the later you are, the hotter it will be 7 to 10 a.m. on second Saturdays. Lowe’s Home Improvement parking lot, 4075 W.

Ina Road. Free. Third Sunday Metaphysics Fair. Looking to explore some new worlds this summer? You’ll have fun visiting the “Oracles on

Oracle,” as they like to call themselves. This group of metaphysical practitioners include gemstone diviners, palm readers, reiki masters, empaths and a variety of intuitive psychic counselors. Maybe you’re not getting the guidance you need from the realm we normally exist in, or maybe you just think it would be interesting to talk to some of these people. Of course it would! Why not meander down on a Sunday morning this summer? 9 a.m. on third Sundays. (June 20, July 18, Aug. 15, Sept. 19) Best Western, 6201 N. Oracle Road. Free. Oro Valley Movies on the Lawn. On fourth Saturdays throughout the summer, Oro Valley is screening films on a giant, inflatable outdoor screen. Drive up, lay out a blanket,

pull up a chair and enjoy. The kids will love watching a movie outside, and you’ll love that there’s no hassle: it’s free, and no registration is required. June 26 is Frozen II (so make sure you watch the first Frozen for the 4,000th time before you go), July 24 is Sonic the Hedgehog, and Aug. 28 is The Call of the Wild. Shows start

around 7:30 p.m. at the Oro Valley Community & Rec Center, 10555 N. La Canada Drive. Free. El Jefe Cat Lounge. Yes, technically this is a summer survival guide, but you should keep this one in your back pocket for survival at any time of year. Because what better way to cheer up

than visiting with a bunch of adorable, adoptable kitties? El Jefe’s resident felines come from Finally My Forever Home Rescue, and are all in tip top health and ready to adopt. Plus, the facility is so cute that it basically feels like a spa… except better, really. Because there are cats. Book a slot today at eljefecatSee SUMMER SURVIVAL, P6

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Tiny Beautiful Things. If you’ve read this Cheryl Strayed book, you’re in for a real treat with this stage adaptation by Nia Vardalos. Starring Susan Baker, Tim Tully, Emily Gates and Richard Michael Thompson, it’s based on Strayed’s experience as the advice columnist behind “Dear Sugar.” (Who among us doesn’t think we could probably run an advice column, despite a total lack of qualifications?) It’s a

touching, surprising show about coming unstuck and finding the courage to ask questions. Showing from Wednesday, June 9, to Sunday, June 20 at Invisible Theatre, 1400 N. First Ave. $40 GA, $20 students. Showtimes are at 7 p.m. Wednesday through Saturday and 2 p.m. on Sunday. Be sure to also check out a reprise of this spring’s hit, “Gloria: A Life”, about famed feminist Gloria Steinem. It runs Aug. 18-29. Arizona Theatre Company’s 54th Season. At the tail end of the summer, ATC will be kicking off its 2021/2022 season. Because we’ve pretty much all been having a bad time the past year or so, the team has

curated productions that tell stories about learning to heal and to love others. With three plays and three musicals (including one musical about RBG and Sandra Day O’Connor), five of which are written or created by female artists, this season certainly looks promising. First up is “My 80-Year-Old Boyfriend,” a musical based on the true story of Broadway performer Charissa Bertels. The show is going on tour after playing in Arizona, so don’t miss your chance to see it. Sept. 25 to Oct. 16. Arizona Theatre Company, 330 S. Scott Ave. arizonatheatre.org The Rogue Theatre Season Begins. The Rogue Theatre stayed open in the 2020-2021 season with elaborate COVID proto-

SUMMER SURVIVAL 2021

cols, including making videos of each play for fans who weren’t ready to get back in a theatre. Rogue’s new 2021-2022 season opens, or should we say… it AWAKENS, on Sept. 9 with “The Awakening”, an adaptation of Kate Chopin’s early feminist novel. Four more plays follow, including the classics “Twelfth Night” and “Death of a Salesman,” ending with an adaptation of the Virginia Woolf novel “Mrs. Dalloway,” April 18 to May 15. theroguetheatre.org. Eight 10s in Tucson. Winding Road Theater Ensemble received some 300 submissions from around the country for the company’s annual 10-minute play writing contest. This is your chance to see the eight winners on the digital stage! You can check it out on opening night on Friday, May 28, or watch it on demand through June 30. Keep a special eye out for the play “I See Your Face in Mine,” written by our very own Tucsonan Madison Peden. Check it out at windingroadtheater.org. Live Theatre Workshop. Live Theatre Workshop has been using its parking lot this past

year to accommodate drive-in outdoor plays. But the three summer shows will move indoors, with a limited number of seats. “A Life in the Theatre,” by David Mamet, is on the stage June 10 to July 10; “The Standby Lear,” a comical work by John W. Lowell, runs Aug. 5-28; and “Bloomsday,” a Irish time-travel romance by Steven Dietz, runs Sept. 2 to Oct. 9. Livetheatreworkshop.org. “Once Upon This Time,” a “princess meets the present” story, runs in the children’s theatre July 16 to Aug. 1. “The Conundrum at Camp Catalina,” on Sundays from Aug. 22 to Sept. 6, gets children participating woodland games, The Gaslight Theatre. The Gaslight’s shows have gone back indoors for their new season, and, as always, they are raucously fun. How about the Star Wars parody “Space Wars” from June 10 to Aug. 29? In this show you’ll join Princess Layla and Duke Starfighter as they defend the galaxy from evil, guided by the wisdom of the ancient sage, Yoga. Or see Frankenstein (you know this one), starting in September? Everyone should go to a summer show at the

Gaslight at least once in their life, for a night full of top talent, terrible jokes, and tasty pizza. thegaslighttheatre.com ROAD TRIPS Take a Roadtrip. After a year of being homebound, many of us are ready to get out of town. How about a visit to Bisbee and the surrounding areas? You can stay at the Copper Queen Hotel, visit the Bisbee Mining Museum or tour a mine and enjoy drinks at the bars in Brewery Gulch. For a small town, Bisbee manages to pack history and art in to every nook and canyon. Tombstone is a short drive away if you want to get in some Old West fun while you’re there or head to the rolling hills of Sonoita to explore wine closer. Art lovers will enjoy a trip to Tubac, where you’ll find dozens of galleries as well as a spectacular state park. Stay in the Tubac Golf Resort and play a few rounds. Or just rent an RV and travel all over Southern Arizona; the folks at RV City stand ready to make your wanderlust a reality. Sure, we might technically live in a desert, but there’s no shortage of fun and fascinating locations within a quick drive from Tucson.

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public space. The event has been facilitated by SOAZNORML secretary Zsa Zsa Simone Brown, a fellow veteran trying to carve out a space in the marijuana landscape to help vets who have received a raw deal in their separation from military duty. Both Christiansen and Brown, who served in the Army in the late 20th century, came to cannabis in the wake of military careers that left them reeling from prescription drugs. “It was not a good experience—it’s usually not for women—so I think that’s why I love to work with other veterans and advocate for veterans,” Brown said. “I think about the things that you have to endure as a veteran, whatever you endure within the military, then you come home and you got to fight them to get your benefits.” Christiansen, whose father was a Vietnam veteran who died at his own hand in 2014, was so drugged with pharmaceuticals she successfully sued the Veterans Administration for benefits. “They were giving me pills on pills,” she said. “They make you into a drug addict and then they make you fight them to get the benefits.”

Brown, a Black woman who experienced both sexism and racism during her time in the Army, was on so many different drugs she was given methadone to “wean herself” from addiction. It was then that she found cannabis. Now, Brown is working to spread the word and normalize pot as medicine. “It’s a deficiency in education,” she said. “If people really took the time to learn about this plant and learn about all of the different ways that it could help us, I don’t think they would be so narrow-minded.” In addition to her advocacy through NORML, Brown is a cannabis coach, helping inexperienced patients learn the ins and outs of pot as medicine, and she also operates a mini bus equipped as a mobile recreational cannabis facility that hosts events in a safe manner with a sober driver. In the end, it’s all about bringing legal weed out of the shadows and into the open, like the legal substance it is. “As soon as it went recreational, I was like, this is it!” Christiansen said. “We’re gonna do this and it’s gonna be mainstream.” ■ For information about pot-related events at Arte Bella, go to www.artebellaon4th.com. For information about Brown’s services, go to www.itsweedrelated.com.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Open your mouth only if what you are going to say is more beautiful than silence,” declares an Arab proverb. That’s a high standard to aspire to. Even at our very best, when we’re soaring with articulate vitality, it’s hard to be more beautiful than silence for more than, say, 50 percent of the time. But here’s a nice surprise: You could exceed that benchmark during the next three weeks. You’re primed to be extra expressive and interesting. When you speak, you could be more beautiful than silence as much as 80 percent of the time. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Here’s the definition of an emotional support animal: “a companion animal that provides therapeutic benefit to a person with a mental or psychiatric disability.” I don’t mean to be flippant, but I think every one of us has at least one mental or psychiatric disability that would benefit from the company of an emotional support animal. If you were ever going to acquire such an ally, the coming weeks would be prime time to do so. I encourage you to also seek out other kinds of help and guidance and stimulation that you’d benefit from having. It’s the resource-gathering phase of your cycle. (PS: Cesar Chavez said: “You are never strong enough that you don’t need help.”) GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A blogger named Valentine Cassius reports, “A tiny old woman came into the deli where I work and ordered a ‘wonderful turkey sandwich.’ When asked what she wanted on the sandwich other than turkey, she said ‘all of your most wonderful toppings.’” Here’s my response to that: The tiny old woman’s approach usually isn’t very effective. It’s almost always preferable to be very specific in knowing what you want and asking for it. But given the current astrological omens, I’ll make an exception for you in the next three weeks. I think you should be like the tiny old woman: Ask

life, fate, people, spirits, and gods to bring you all of their most wonderful toppings. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “I am tired of trying to hold things together that cannot be held,” testifies Cancerian novelist Erin Morgenstern. “Tired of trying to control what cannot be controlled.” Here’s good news for her and all Cancerians. You have cosmic permission to surrender—to no longer try to hold things together that can’t be held or try to control what can’t be controlled. Maybe in a few weeks you will have gained so much relaxed new wisdom that you’ll be inspired to make fresh attempts at holding together and controlling. But that’s not for you to worry and wonder about right now. Your assignment is to nurture your psychological and spiritual health by letting go. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Philosopher Georges Bataille wrote, “The lesson of Wuthering Heights, of Greek tragedy and, ultimately, of all religions, is that there is an instinctive tendency towards divine intoxication which the rational world of calculation cannot bear. This tendency is the opposite of Good. Good is based on common interest, which entails consideration of the future.” I’m going to dissent from Bataille’s view. I agree that we all have an instinctive longing for divine intoxication, but I believe that the rational world needs us to periodically fulfill our longing for divine intoxication. In fact, the rational world grows stale and begins to decay without these interludes. So the truth is that divine intoxication is crucial for the common good. I’m telling you this, Leo, because I think the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to claim a healthy dose of divine intoxication. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo actor Ingrid Bergman (1915–1982) won the most prestigious awards possible for her work in films, TV, and theater: Oscars, Emmys, and a Tony. She was intel-

SAVAGE LOVE BOTH BARRELS

By Dan Savage, mail@savagelove.net

I need your advice. My partner of 27 years has been sleeping with my best friend. This has been going on for a year and a half. As far as I knew, we had a monogamous relationship, even if things had gotten stale between us in recent years. And my best friend is everything to me. I confide in him for a lot, including advice on my relationship. We spoke recently about how my partner wasn’t interested in sex. He looked me straight in the eye as said how his partner wasn’t interested in sex either. Little did I know that he was doing my partner. What is weird is that my friend isn’t even close to my partner’s “type.” My friend, however, has turned into an absolute whore in recent years. His partner

knows nothing about it. I feel so betrayed by them both. I am gutted. I also fear being alone. I am 56 years old. The four of us did a lot together—Thanksgiving, Christmas, dinners, brunch, everything. I don’t see how we can continue now. What should I do? —Going Under Thanks To Extreme Deceit I don’t know what to tell you. If you find what your partner and best friend did—over and over again—intolerable and unforgiveable, GUTTED, then don’t tolerate or forgive. Burn it all down. Dump your partner of nearly 30 years and cut your best friend out of your life. Then you get to decide if you’re gonna go quietly or if you’re

ligent, talented, and beautiful. Life was a challenge when she was growing up, though. She testified, “I was the shyest human ever invented, but I had a lion inside me that wouldn’t shut up.” If you have a sleeping lion inside you, Virgo, I expect it to wake up soon. And if your inner lion is already wide awake and you have a decent relationship with it, I suspect it may soon begin to come into its fuller glory. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran author Antonio Tabucchi described the frame of mind I recommend for you in the coming days. I hope you’ll be eager to embrace his far-reaching empathy. Like him, I trust you will expand your capacity to regard the whole world as your home. Here’s Tabucchi’s declaration: “Like a blazing comet, I’ve traversed infinite nights, interstellar spaces of the imagination, voluptuousness and fear. I’ve been a man, a woman, an old person, a little girl, I’ve been the crowds on the grand boulevards of the capital cities of the West, I’ve been the serene Buddha of the East. I’ve been the sun and the moon.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Author James Frey writes, “I used to think I was tough, but then I realized I wasn’t. I was fragile and I wore thick armor. And I hurt people so they couldn’t hurt me. And I thought that was what being tough was, but it isn’t.” I agree with Frey. The behavior he describes has nothing to do with being tough. So what does? That’s important for you to think about, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time to be tough in the best senses of the word. Here are my definitions: Being tough means never letting people disrespect you or abuse you, even as you cultivate empathy for how wounded everyone is. Being tough means loving yourself with such unconditional grace that you never act unkind out of a neurotic need to over-defend yourself. Being tough means being a compassionate truth-teller. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Fragile intensity or intense fragility? Ferocious gentleness or gentle ferocity? Vulnerable strength or strong vulnerability? I suspect these will be some of the paradoxical themes with which you’ll be delicately wrestling

gonna let people know why you ended both these relationships. And if you make your reasons public, GUTTED, which you have every right to do, the details will instantly get back your best friend’s partner—assuming you don’t tell him yourself—and your ex-best-friend’s relationship will most likely end. Which means when the dust settles… and new leases are signed… you and your best friend’s ex will be alone and your then-former partner and your then-former best friend will be free to go public with their relationship. But you can’t stay with your partner just to prevent that outcome. You can’t stay in this relationship out of spite. Which is not to say you can’t stay in this relationship. You could stay… if you wanted to… and your partner wants to… but it’s going to be a very different relationship going forward. You don’t say much about your relation-

in the coming days. Other possibilities: sensitive audacity or audacious sensitivity; fluidic fire or fiery fluidity; crazy wisdom or wise craziness; penetrating softness or soft penetration; shaky poise or poised shakiness. My advice is to regard rich complexities like these as blessings, not confusions or inconveniences. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Birds that live in cities have come up with an ingenious adaptation. They use humans’ abandoned cigarette butts to build their nests. Somehow they discovered that nicotine is an insectide that dispels pests like fleas, lice, and mites. Given your current astrological aspects, I’m guessing you could make metaphorically comparable adjustments in your own life. Are there ways you could use scraps and discards to your benefit? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A blogger named Raven testifies, “My heart is a toddler throwing a tantrum in a store and my brain is the parent who continues to shop.” I’m pleased to inform you, Aquarius, that your heart will NOT act like that toddler in the coming weeks. In fact, I believe your heart will be like a sage elder with growing wisdom in the arts intimacy and tenderness. In my vision of your life, your heart will guide you better than maybe it ever has. Now here’s a message to your brain: Listen to your heart! PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Voyager 1 space probe, launched by NASA in 1977, is now more than 14 billion miles from Earth. In contrast, the farthest humans have ever penetrated into the ground is 7.62 miles. It’s the Kola Superdeep Borehole in northwest Russia. Metaphorically speaking, these facts provide an evocative metaphor for the following truth: Most humans feel more confident and expansive about exploring the outer world than their inner realms. But I hope that in the coming weeks you will buck that trend, as you break all previous records for curious and luxurious exploration into your deepest psychic depths. ■ Homework. What image or symbol represents the fulfillment of your noble desires? FreeWillAstrology.com

ship other than how long it’s gone on, GUTTED, that things went stale some years back, and how upset you were to discover this affair. But if there’s still good in this relationship and you have reasons to stay other than (or in addition to) not wanting to be alone, GUTTED, then get into couples counseling with your partner. Things will never be the same, GUTTED, but you know what? It’s deeply irrational for us to expect things to stay the same as the decades grind on. And having to pretend things are the same puts an avoidable— but not easily avoidable—strain on our long-term relationships. Because even as both partners know things have changed, acknowledging that fact feels risky because it often involves renegotiating the terms of the relationship. (Like a monogamous commitment made decades ago.) And the longer you’re together, the higher the

MAY 27, 2021

stakes can seem. So two people don’t talk about what has changed… even if both parties know things have changed… and some people decide to do what they need to in order to stay married (or partnered) and stay sane. (Where do people get that idea?) Ideally this going and doing—contingencies, allowances, carve outs—are discussed in advance and agreed to by both parties. But just as often as not, GUTTED, difficult conversations are avoided and affairs begin and then much more difficult conversations can’t be avoided once affairs are discovered. Finding out you’ve been cheated can be deeply traumatic. I say “can,” GUTTED, because it’s not true in all cases; some people don’t give a shit who their partners are sleeping with after three decades together so long as they come home. It’s not that sex and faithfulness (which is not to be confused with monogamy) aren’t important. They are. They were obviously important to you. It’s just that other things—like a long history together or a deep-if-not-passionate intimacy or both—can become more important over time and monogamy, flawlessly executed over decades and decades, is not the only way a person can demonstrate faithfulness to a partner. Once you’re in couples counseling—assuming your partner is willing to go—I would encourage to squarely face questions like how important sex is to you as individual now and how important sex and sexual exclusivity are to you as couple now. Sexual passion and sexual exclusivity may have defined your relationship at the start and may have helped you cement your bond. But other things—valuable things like familiarity, intimacy, and security—may have overtaken them in importance. Just because your partner may not be interested in sex with you anymore or sex with you exclusively, GUTTED, doesn’t mean your partner isn’t interested in being your partner anymore. He may still love you and other things—perhaps more important things than sex—cement your bond now. Or not. Your partner could want out and the affair was his way of blowing it all up. But if he wants to stay in this relationship too, GUTTED, it would, again, be a different kind of partnership going forward. Perhaps a companionate one, perhaps one with a revived sexual connection. There’s definitely a path forward if you both want to be together. It’s a steep and a rocky path, GUTTED, but it’s one countless other couples have walked together. But navigating it would require a huge effort from both of you, sincere contrition from him, and heroic powers of forgiveness from you.

Comics

As for your best friend, GUTTED, you should tell that guy to go fuck himself for all eternity. P.S. You toss the word “whore” around like it’s a bad thing. It’s not. Deceit and betrayal are bad things. What your best friend did was a bad; what your partner did was bad. But whoring around—safely, ethically, consensually—is a good thing, GUTTED, and a lot of my readers and listeners are looking forward to getting out there and doing some safe, ethical, consensual whoring around once they’re vaccinated. You may find that a little whoring around yourself—whether you’re single soon or not—may be just what you need. And, yes, even recently single gay men in their mid-fifties can get their whore on. (Put “daddy” in your Instagram bio, GUTTED, and watch the DMs pour in.) I would like you to be the referee in a disagreement. I am going out with a lady who insists that tinglehole is two words, as in tingle hole. I, on the other hand, believe it is one word. Like an adjective describing a condition: tinglehole. Since this is your word, Dan, what do you say? Thank you in advance. —Words With Friends With Benefits P.S. There is some seriously freaky GGG shit riding on your answer. A few years back you couldn’t watch 30 minutes of basic cable without seeing three ads marketing “tingling” lubes to straight couples. These lubes were touted like they were a revolutionary new way, as one KY ad put it, “to turn up the heat” on your sex life. Yeah, no. First of all, I remember seeing bottles of “hot lube” in sex shops and on the nightstands of my first boyfriends back when I came out in the 1980s. And the effect was, well, let’s just say that most bottles of hot lube were disposed nearly full. Because while hot lubes do make you hole tingle, it’s true, it’s not like they do the work. A lousy lay with hot lube on his dick is still a lousy lay. And getting hot lube all over your hole doesn’t “enhance the experience,” per KY, it only makes more it difficult to move on from it; it’s impossible to fall asleep after sex—be it good or bad—when you’ve got a bad case of tinglehole. P.S. It’s my word, I invented it, and I say it’s one word. Enjoy your freaky shit! mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. savagelovecast.com

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