THE FRESH PRINCE

By Wesley Jansen

e Times tells me the Kremlin is closer to Kyiv. Look! e oligarchs who sailed their boats away from Britain because Kyiv is in vogue. ey moved their boats from Britain so their children don’t get teased in their secondary schools when they board. I see Yellow and Blue on t-shirts and on the windows, never inside. is winter, blues and yellows are in vogue.

e “seminal global event” of my generation says my professor who preaches my culture. His tenure telling me to listen, in the West, in his class where I read about the seminal global events of other generations from the textbooks about seminal global events. ese books do not decide anymore. e new prince of the West makes viral videos in Kyiv.

I only hear the bombs drop in Kyiv when the Times beeps on my phone. Now, the Times beeps on my phone, it says ‘BREAKING NEWS:’ Will Smith hits Chris Rock at Oscars. I hear bombs from Instagram and Twitter and Facebook about the Seminal Global Event of my generation, e “moment the Academy will never forget.” A er all, the Academy must remember for us because they know we forget easily these days.