CONFLICT AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION Rick Henke Manager Twelve25 Youth Enterprise Centre City of Salisbury Rotarian, Past President and Assistant Governor GP4 Rotary Club of Salisbury Push learning End link to presentation
Have you thought about conflict today?
Conflict occurs everywhere
in our homes,
in our communities,
between neighbors
on the sports field
on Facebook
between friends
between states,
between countries, and
in the workplace
Name some
So what is conflict? There are many definitions but the one I like is
Conflict is any situation in which your concerns or desires differ from those of the other person
Team exercise
In your teams brainstorm answers to the following four big questions (15 minutes of music)
Why does war begin? (in big picture terms) Why does conflict stop? Where do we learn (and from whom) about conflict resolution? Is conflict a genetic and / or learned response?
Quote
Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude Martin Luther-King
Healthy vs Damaging HEALTHY CONFLICT
DAMAGING CONFLICT
Disagreements that are communicated in a supportive environment that foster the generation of new ideas or ways to problem solve. Tension that increases awareness or sheds light on a growing problem.
Name Calling. Personal Attacks. Silent and Withdrawn, afraid to speak up Cliques, gossip and rumors. Lack of Mutual Respect Physical violence War.
Quote “Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude� - William James
Values
Something in which you have belief Something that helps guide your life decision making Values are a product of your environment
Values walk
Mini beliefs and values walk
Three broad reasons for conflict
Personal or relational conflicts are usually about identity or self-image, or important aspects of a relationship such as loyalty, breach of confidence, perceived betrayal or lack of respect. Impacted by a persons values. Instrumental conflicts are about goals, structures, procedures and means: something fairly tangible and structural within the organisation or for an individual. Conflicts of interest concern the ways in which the means of achieving goals are distributed, such as time, money, space and staff. They may also be about factors related to these, such as relative importance, or knowledge and expertise.
So lets take our knowledge forward Sometimes our ego or perception of self worth cause conflict ď Ź
Play video VLC
Whats your normal style? (B&S test)
Methods of resolving Compete / fight – unilateral decision making (ie military command) Collaborate – team input (ie work team) Compromise – looking for that win : win midpoint Denial / Avoiding – making a decision to take no action Smooth over / Accommodating – allowing the other side to take a win. (ie Mum)
Where do we learn (and from whom) about conflict resolution?
Conflict resolution is a learned skill
Family
Schools
Community
Your family example?
Personal reflection 10mins Think of a recent conflict you have been involved in. (Family, Facebook, Work, etc) What was the conflict? What was the underlying cause of the conflict? Was this a new conflict or something ongoing? Which style did you use to respond? How did others respond? Write your answers down
Role play Scenario : David is 45 and is Sam’s dad. (Father and Son) Sam has just turned 16. He wants to get his learners permit. David has said that Sam is irresponsible, is not listening and too immature. It is too dangerous. Sam knows that David got his learners permit when he was 16 and learnt to drive on a farm when he was 15. Sam’s older brother was 17 when he got his L’s and had a bit of an accident earlier this year. David and Sam argue about this often.
Active Listening – High EQ skill Keys to active listening:-
• Listen politely • Ask questions for clarification • Repeat what was said in your own words
• Summarise • Acknowledge speakers point of view and feelings
• Positive Non-verbals Provide Example : Tell me about your last holiday : Practice
IQ vs EQ Intelligent Quotient vs Emotional Quotient IQ is an individuals score in a standardised test to measure an individuals intelligence as a indicator of academic ability EQ is an individuals measure of their ability to identify, evaluate, control and express their emotions. (People with high EQ usually make great team leaders and team players due to the ability to connect to the people around them)
Working through conflict - strategies • Role of the third person • Speakers stick • Seating - circle.
6 Steps to conflict resolution 1. Clarify what the disagreement is about
2. Establish a common goal 3. Discuss ways that could be used to meet the common goal 4. Determine barriers 5. Agree on best way to resolve conflict
6. Acknowledge and record the agreed solution and determine responsibilities
What does Rotary do around preventing conflict and creating peace?
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