3.1.3 Contextual stressors

generally feeling helpless about the complicated funeral arrangements, they seldom seek support. This is perhaps largely the result of the cultural taboo of death in Chinese culture. Bereaved persons were afraid that their friends and other people would be unpleasant to them if they share the “bad luck” news (i.e., the death):

Recipient 9: My younger brother once suggested we could ask my deceased father’s friend for help who provides funeral service. However, we were not close friends, so if we hadn’t approached him when times were good, then we shouldn’t seek help now. That feeling was very weird and complex, even though that friend works in the funeral industry. So, when the Be-with service told me that they could provide the related service, I asked the opinion of my mother. She also agreed that we shouldn’t ask that friend’s help and allowed me to receive the Be-with service. (Female, 51–55 years old)

3.1.3 Contextual stressors

Contextual stressors occur outside the individual, for example, the person’s job or financial pressures (Neuman & Fawcett, 1989). In our findings, the complicated procedures of handling post-death matters are a key contextual stressor experienced by bereaved persons.

First, our analysis suggests that such complicated procedures of post-death matters put a heavy burden on bereaved persons. After the family member passed away, bereaved persons first had to obtain various official documents immediately, for the purpose of processing the post-death procedures. In addition, if it is a case of complicated death, in which the deceased died of an unnatural death, the bereaved individual may experience more complicated procedures which are different from those for natural deaths that happen in the hospital. Therefore, processing post-death matters would become more complicated and time-consuming for these bereaved persons. After obtaining the relevant documents, the bereaved also mentioned that they still have a long checklist to go through step by step, to complete the post-death affairs. This may take more than a year (e.g., application for niches provided by the government).

Bereaved persons particularly expressed their feelings of helplessness when they only received a simple leaflet for the death-related to-do list from the mortuary, with no formal support provided:

Recipient 3: Take the births and deaths registry office as an example, how to apply for the death certificate, how to hold a funeral at the hospital, how to carry out cremation at the funeral parlor… It was a totally chaotic time… Too many things to do, and then I had no idea which one to do first… If we do this without guidance, then we would find ourselves missing some important paperwork upon arriving at the office… You can imagine; too many documents to bring. And then I find out “oh, I forget that one”, then I have to start again… They always say the same thing, those procedures, you know how much trouble the government can be about