Multiplicity Winter 2016 by Multiplicity Magazine

winter 2016

when twins say goodbye unleash

their passion

make big sibling the star!

tips to hunker down

with the kids new site set to save lives www.multiplicitymag.com 1

tough love:

discipline as a tool

happy 5th birthday,

multiplicity!

TRANSFORMING

emotions and outcomes around fetal syndrome diagnosis and support.

photo courtesy of drew photography & events

fetalhealthfoundation.org

turning double trouble into double blessings 6

Multiple Multiples: How We Make it Work

34 Activities for Hunkering Down

Tips for Unleashing Your Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Passion

38 A Journey with Fertility: When

with the Kids

40 DIY: A Winter Room Makeover

12 Double Trouble? Help Your Twins Get Along

The Dr. is In: 5 Tips on Fighting Germs in School

Make Big Sibling the Star

44 Family Friendly Meals from Pinterest

46 The Psychology of Parenting Twins

48 Book Review

20 Fashion Finds: Winter Warm-Up

Part Behind

52 The Buzz for Winter

24 Top Questions Asked of All Twin Moms

54 Five Minute Fix:

Winter Whiteout

Website a Resource for Parents of Twins

Understanding Discipline is for Their Own Good a Connection

Appy Winter

50 Saying Goodbye: Leaving a

Tricks to Raising Twins

30 Drop the Smartphone - Make

Three Became Two

56 Tips for Finishing the School Year Strong

58 Permission to Grieve 62 From Bliss to Circus: How Life Changes After Babies

32 Capturing Your Every Day: A

Photo Project

cover cuties This issue we covered Grant and Griffin who are 18 year old twins graduating high school this year. They love to travel, are both health conscious, and workout a lot. Family is very important to them. They love sports, both playing, soccer, basketball and baseball. Their favorite teams are Carolina, the Carolina Panthers, Boston Red Sox, and the Charlotte Hornets. photos courtesy of Stephanie Stevens multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

With every New Year comes new resolutions, new goals and things we hope to accomplish. Many of us fail before we even welcome spring, but this year, let’s put an end to that. I hope you’ll join me in planning to be more present with our kids. I’m not going to overshoot by planning crazy Pinterest-inspired theme days or anything like that (okay, knowing my personality, I probably will), but I’d like to just notice more and worry less; to be part of more without the pressure of going above and beyond. With that said, we’ve got some great ideas for hunkering down with the kids when the cold keeps you indoors. With the possible looming whiteout for many parts of the country, we also have some colorful and creative design tips for making over your kids’ bedrooms, as well as how to embrace white as family-friendly. This year is a big year for Multiplicity --- we celebrate our 5th birthday! In honor of this milestone, we recently launched our brand new, beautiful and user-friendly website where you

can get the latest and greatest magazine issue, as well as some additional features throughout the year, and we look forward to offering polls and showcasing partner videos, contests and giveaways, too. It’s a great time to be part of the Multiplicity family and we’re looking forward to continuing that journey with each of you at our side! While some of you are faced with the challenges of sleep and feeding schedules, others are faced with saying goodbye. As he faces graduation, one twin shares his perspective on leaving a part of him behind, while a twin mom shares her experience with learning to grieve. We know that this time of year forces us to be in closer quarters than normal, so we hope you’ll enjoy our suggestions for family pleasing meals, tips for your students on finishing the school year strong, as well as how to unleash their passion. Here’s to a New Year filled with no resolutions, but only commitments to be better than we were last year!

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Contributing Writers Laura Wilkinson Kevin Zelenka Jen Lehmann Dr. Preeti Parikh Jennifer Parker Victoria Worch Traci Zeller Cara Krenn Alyssa Keel Kerry Bergeman Barbara Miller Kinan Copen Natasha D’Anna Julie McCaffrey Tobi Stewart Dr. Joan Friedman Amanda Nethero Nicole Hastings Grant Stevens Mikenzie Oldham

Talitha A. McGuinness executive editor talitha@multiplicitymag.com

Editor / Creative Director Talitha A. McGuinness

the must-have magazine for all moms of multiples

Multiplicity is published as a digital magazine four times per calendar year, with additional supplements as desired. Multiplicity cannot assume responsibility of statements made by advertisers. In addition, though hand-picked and carefully reviewed, Multiplicity cannot guarantee the accuracy of editorial pieces. No portion in whole or in part of this publication may be reproduced without express written consent from the editor. Questions? Email talitha@ multiplicitymag.com.

hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to all the snow angels and snowmen, snowball fights and sledding, and warming up little tootsies by the fire with a blanket, a book, and hot cocoa

happy winter

when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re dealt two pair: how we make it work... by jen lehmann 6

multiplicity

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rewards In our house you earn marbles for doing good deeds and exhibiting good behavior (above and beyond what is expected). You lose marbles for bad behavior. We keep a small white board in our kitchen with everyone’s name and how many marbles they have earned. Once 20 marbles is reached, you can cash them in for $10.00. Everyone has the responsibility of their own rooms and then one assigned chore. All other household chores are assigned a reward value. Each child can choose how much extra they would like to do to earn their marbles.

“I

don’t know how you do it.” I have heard that phrase a thousand times. My answer is always the same, “I don’t know any other way.” I am a single mom to two sets of boy/girl twins. My older two are 10 and my younger two are 6. It takes all of us working together to make it work.

This is a great reward system that allows my children to see the value in hard work and reaping the benefits. When they want a book from the book fair, they quickly check to see how many marbles they have and how many they need. When they want to purchase something at the store, they have to dip into their marble fund. I love hearing my children say they want something and then immediately figure how many marbles it would cost. They are learning the value of the system, as they have also turned down purchasing something because it would take too many marbles. It’s fun to see the expression on a bystander’s face when I ask the kids “do you multiplicity

want to lose your marbles?” responsibility A lot of responsibility is put on my children’s shoulders. As a result, I have four very independent children. When we are out (out to eat, shopping, or on vacation), my older two are responsible for taking the younger two to the restroom. If we are walking in a parking lot, they hold each other’s hands. Because of this encouraged responsibility, I feel that they have a strong bond among themselves. challenges I have to say that my biggest challenges are keeping my house clean, not having enough one-on-one time with each child, and having absolutely no “me” time. Yes the children help out around the house, but I swear my kitchen is only clean twice a year! I can’t ever keep up with the dishes. In the beginning, I would stress over it and apologize any time someone came into my home. I have since learned to let it go and not stress over it, but that was a really hard lesson to learn. As for the one-on-one time with my children, I make an effort to be with each of them at least once a week, even if it’s only a trip to the grocery store. I want them to know that they are individuals. --- contd. pg. 11

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unleashing your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

passion

by laura wilkinson 8

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

ne of the questions I get asked a lot by parents is something along the lines of “How do I create passion in my child to work harder at something?” I hear that a lot because as an Olympic gold medalist, people come to me with their sports related questions and woes, and it’s most often about their kids. Parents probably get frustrated with my answer because I know it’s not what they want to hear. As parents, we naturally want to help our kids do great and amazing things, and we will do whatever we can to help our children on their journey to greatness. However, passion does not come from someone else, even a parent with great passion and enthusiasm themselves. Passion, drive and motivation come ultimately from deep within an individual person, not from someone else. Yes, others can help inspire and stoke the fire of someone’s motivation and stir up their passion anew, but only if those key ingredients are already there in a person ready to be kindled. Why? Because when the going gets tough, and it will when you’re trying to achieve anything worthwhile, that

individual will be the one who has to choose whether or not to walk through the difficulties. That individual has to make the decision if this goal is worth facing the challenge, if it’s worth the sacrifice. Try as we might to encourage someone, that person has to be willing and determined to face what’s ahead. My coach, Kenny, used to always tell me, “Laura, I can teach you everything I know. I can equip you to do every dive perfectly. I can hold your hand up to the 10 meter. But I can’t do it for you. You have to do the actual dive on your own.” I don’t say this to discourage you. I’m telling you this so that you understand how best to bring out the passion in someone else. There are things you can do to nurture and mature that passion or find out if that passion you desire for them actually lies in something else altogether. Here are some great ways to help bring out the passion and determination in your child:

1. always be a support for them

You don’t have to tell someone when they’ve done a poor job. They know. They’re coach has probably already told them or had a talk with them. You do not need to analyze everything that went right and wrong. That’s the coach’s job. However, they might need time and space to grieve. As their parent, you should be there to show them that you love them whether or not they perform well and that you will always be in their corner cheering for them. Sometimes saying nothing at all, but just giving them a hug, is exactly what they multiplicity

need. They need you to let them vent while you sit, lips closed, and listen. Remind them that this is not the end. There will be another competition, a new season, another chance. Alternately, if they do well, tell them how proud you are. Don’t assume they know.

2. let them fail

One of my favorite quotes is “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Sometimes the greatest motivator and teacher in life is failure. In fact, I would go so far as to say that failure is NECESSARY for success. If you want to swing for the fences, you have to be willing to strikeout. When a child first learns to walk, they fall... a lot. Yet they keep getting back up and trying again. Each time they get back up, they get a little steadier, a little more determined. The next thing you know, they’re running. Don’t pick your child up every time they fall. Be there for them if they need you, but give them space to get back up on their own. They need to decided on their own if it’s worth it to get back up and try again. That’s when you start to see what kind of passion is inside for what they’re doing. And if it’s in there, this will help it grow stronger.

3. point them to good role models

There are plenty of celebrities that kids look up to today. Do you know anything about them? It’s pretty safe to say that the vast majority of people in the spotlight, aren’t in the spotlight for the best of reasons. Do a little research. Find out who

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these people are that your kids talk about and want to be like. Need a new role model? Olympic athletes and hopefuls are a great place to start. Of course, there is still drama and there are subpar role models in that arena, too, but there are far more good ones than bad. Olympic athletes also have amazing stories of overcoming incredible obstacles and fierce determination that helped them along their journey. You can actually watch them at the Trials and Olympic Games.

4. encourage them to try something new

If your child is not at all excited about what they’re doing, maybe it’s not the right fit. This even rings true if they are really good at it. I was good at every sport and activity I tried, but the passion and motivation wasn’t always there...until I found the right fit. If they are stuck in a rut, trying something new could show them there might be something else that they like more, or it could help them realize how much they really do like what they have been doing. But taking a break to try something different will not hurt them. It will likely help them so much more! Sometimes it’s just the break they need to rest and recharge mentally or emotionally.

5. it’s okay to start late

I don’t mean it’s okay to show up late to practice or a competition! I mean it’s okay to start something

at a later age than “normal.” These days, at least in our area, coaches are trying to get kids on a professional track in sports at the ripe old age of 6 or maybe 8. I know some coaches will tell you it’s the only way, or in “this sport” you have to be amazing by “this age” to have a chance. This bothers me...a lot, (but that’s another thought for another day!). I started everything “late.” When I finally found diving, I was 15 and was told I was too old to start a new sport. Within two years, I was a national champion, a world cup team member, and was committed to a full diving scholarship to a Division 1 college. I did other sports that I could have excelled at, but they weren’t the right fit. I wasn’t passionate about them. When I found my passion, time did not matter or inhibit me. This may not be what you want to hear, but it’s what your child needs. I was competing at the world level as an athlete for over 15 years, as a teenager and as an adult, and I have just about seen it all. I’ve watched parents walk out of an Olympic arena because their child won a silver medal instead of gold. I’ve seen parents micromanage every aspect of their child’s training that just about every time leads to burn out, injury, an eating disorder, or resentment and bitterness. I have never seen it lead to success. Fortunately, I have also seen the parents that stand by and cheer whether their child gets first or last. I’ve seen the parent

that doesn’t say a word, but holds their child as she cries through disappointment or embarrassment. And I’ve seen the parent who picks up their child when they cannot go any further and helps them finish. What did my parents do? They rarely came to practice, but always would if asked. They came to as many competitions as they could, nearly every one, and cheered me on whether I won or was at the bottom of the heap. I can only remember one time in my entire career that they made a crack about doing better, and I asked them not to do that again. They never did. They gave me space to learn on my own. They believe in the pursuit of my wild and crazy dreams, even if they never thought I could reach them, (although they’ll tell you they always thought I could!). My parents encouraged me to chase my dreams, whatever they were. They made me commit to see a season through, but they also listened to my reasons when I felt like I was done with a sport. They allowed me to try new things. They allowed me to fail and experience disappointment. No parent is perfect. You and I, we’re not going to be perfect either. It’s important that we know what our role is to help our children become all that God made them to be.

Beating what many said were impossible odds in one of the biggest upsets in Olympic history, Laura, starting in eighth place and with a broken foot, came from behind to win the 2000 Olympic platform diving gold medal. Today, she is mommy to 3 amazing preschoolers, a wife of 13 years, motivational speaker, sports reporter, and writer. Laura loves to blog about her adventures through parenting and adoption to encourage other moms and families. She also writes about goal setting and becoming a champion, and even interviews other elite athletes about their journeys to the top of the podium. You can connect with her on facebook, twitter and instagram. 10

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contd. - make it work I want them to know they have my undivided attention when needed. “Me” time is another story. When I do have down time, the last person that I am thinking about is me. I have worked really hard to carve out time that is just for me. This might be sitting in front of the television with a cup of tea for 30 minutes, or going to the store and only shopping for me. It’s not perfect or even ideal for most; it’s a work in progress for me. making it work We have many examples of making it work, but our favorite are from vacations. Three years ago, we traveled to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It took us two days to get there, but we made it! We had a great time playing at the beach and exploring the area. On the way back and just five hours from home, a deer jumped in front of the car on the Ohio Turnpike. We managed to drive another three hours before the car gave out. The kids were such troopers spending the day playing at a park while we waited for neighbors to come pick us up. The little town that we ended up in only had one diner that closed at noon, so we ate our meals from the local gas station. I was so tired and stressed, but the kids turned it into an adventure and still talk about that day. So how do we make it work? I would say the same as any other family with multiple birth children. When we find that it’s not working, we put our heads together and figure out a better solution. I tell my children that as long as we have each other and are willing to work together, we can accomplish anything. Jen Lehmann works part-time at her community association, sells Tastefully Simple while raising her two sets of twins and their two Golden Retrievers, Tucker and Gryffin. They live in a suburb northwest of Chicago, IL. When she is not dealing with daily life of raising 4 young children, Jen likes to read, go bowling, and having adult conversation with friends. multiplicity

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double

DOESNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T mean trouble

help your twins learn to get along by natasha dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;anna

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

It’s only natural that siblings fight, and twins likely more so due to their constant closeness. As parents, we play a crucial role during their childhood in helping our young twins understand social behavior, especially in regard to forming healthy relationships with their siblings and those around them. Whether we think so or not, we play an important role in developing our twins’ personalities and characters. However, one of the biggest challenges is to figure out how to help each twin begin to develop into someone who can express their feelings, empathize with others’ feelings, and be cooperative, generous and kind. First of all, let’s change the way we think about twins so that others will follow suit, thinking of them as double blessings. Begin to speak of your twins as double blessings and as you think it, you will believe it and receive all of the goodness in having twins, seriously this is not a mantra…..it’s the truth; from one twin mama to another. Many people reference twins as double trouble. As an outsider, they witness parents of twins constantly trying to juggle everything, from delivering two at a time, buckling two in car seats for any trip, near or far, packing a diaper bag for two, changing and feeding two at a time, and the list goes on. To them (and yes, even sometimes to us!), it does feel like a lot of trouble. Sure, the saying sounds funny and catching, (it’s even the most popular description of twins besides “Thing 1 and

Thing 2”), but the only thing that can make trouble with twins worse than anyone else’s child raising troubles are that there are two children growing at the same time, age, and in some cases with the same or perhaps different challenges, interests and learning levels. Surprisingly, It isn’t always the nice man or lady in the supermarket to reference your twins as “double trouble” and ask about all of the possible sibling rivalry issues. Extended family and close friends can also play this part. Most will also anticipate the troubled behavior without remembering all of the great things that should be happening when doubled with love. It then becomes your job to be the active voice of double blessings and speak on all of the ways your twins are bonded. Sharing your positive experience may in fact teach the seasoned parents a thing or two. We are all parents and being a parent to twins does not necessarily multiplicity

make us a super parent, but we should try to help others understand that twins can be seen as special bonded siblings, those who have spent their first moments together and should continue to find ways to love each other and keep that special friendship forever. When looking at the art of sharing, I’ve got a few tricks I have learned during my four years of being a mom of twin girls and hope they can help you out, too.

Opportunities begin shortly after birth!

As soon as your twins begin to notice each other, provide opportunities for them to interact using toys that they can share, such as sorter blocks, rolling ball games, books that you all can read together, and the following of teddy or another toy from one child to the other. The important thing to remember is that when they’re young, that you or your partner play a key role in enforcing and teaching the art of sharing. This is even something to make sure you’re modeling in the home with your partner and with the twins’ siblings if they have them. Sharing won’t come naturally until much later.

Embrace their individuality.

With twins comes a natural instinct to make them do the same, wear the same or be the same, but you should resist this urge. Embrace and encourage their differences while embracing their bond

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at the same time. Since twins naturally share things from the time they are conceived, it’s okay to let them have their own things sometimes. Perhaps due to space in your home, they share a bedroom. This doesn’t also mean they have to share everything in it. They each can have things special to them, like a toy, favorite game or books, and so on.

Model manners from the start.

We should always be thankful for all of our blessings, correct; so try to be fair to your twins in teaching them manners from an early age. They will model your behavior if you remind them of saying “thank you”, even and especially with their own twin. Many researchers think that twins come by sharing more naturally, as they have a constant companion with whom they can practice playing and sharing. This may be so, but any parent of twins knows there will be some battles in the mix, too. By teaching them to share, take turns and be grateful by using manners, they’ll be off to a great start in life.

the perfect time to promote teamwork, directing them towards theme playing such as restaurant chefs, barbers, designers or hairdressers. Take advantage of that constant companion in role playing situations together.

Always remember to praise them.

Of course, your twins will have differences; they’re two different kids. A good consistent reminder that they will need to work out the

problem themselves (while you observantly sit on the sidelines) will work wonders. Just be sure to show praise when they have it all figured out. That’s no easy task for most, and especially young children. In all situations, being consistent and true to keeping the peace by embracing sibling love will manifest those double blessings to realize that everyone is interested in hanging around people who get along best!

Promote teamwork.

As your twins begin to grow older, they will begin to express role play and the desire to use their imagination. This is

with a little practice (and a lot of patience!), they can go from chaos to this! Natasha is a mom of twin girls, an educator, a writer of a children’s book titled Twindollicious, and a blogger, where she blogs about all things twin-like and fashion for kids. She worked in the field of education for almost ten years before fulfilling her dreams of having children of her own. It was then that she felt she could truly make a difference in a person’s life. In this case, these two Twindollicious girls with great personalities. Connect with her on facebook and twitter. 14

multiplicity

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the dr. is in:

tips on fighting germs in school

Winter season is here and it’s the time of year when we see our children get sick. Did you know that a child can get eight to ten colds in a season? The good news is that as children get older, their immune systems become more robust and they will get sick less often. Of course, when they’re in school, there’s only so much you can do to protect them. Here are some tips to keep your children healthy all winter long: 1. Get Vaccinated: There’s always going to be two polar sides of the argument on this one, but this is the most important thing you can do for your children to protect them from getting sick. Have their vaccines up to date and be sure they get their flu shot annually. 2. Teach Them to Wash Properly: Your children should learn to wash their hands with soap and warm water after each restroom break and before meals at the least. Soap and water is most

by dr. preeti parikh

effective and is preferred over hand sanitizers. However, use the alcohol based liquids if soap and water is not available. Also, teach them to wash their hands for at least 20 seconds. Make it fun by adding a little trick...to sing the “Happy Birthday” song twice, from beginning to end. 3. Teach Them How to Cover: Most children are known for wiping their noses and mouths with their hands. Keep the sick bugs at bay by teaching your children to cough and sneeze into their elbows instead of their hands. This will help decrease the spread of germs when touching other children or objects, as it has been proven that germs are spread more often by hands than in the air. 4. Keep Them Home: When your children are sick, keep them home from school. It is important for your child to get rest to get better soon and to not spread germs to other children at school or daycare. 5. Sharing Isn’t Always Caring: One can only imagine what children share when they offer up their snacks and drinks to another. Teach them not to share drinks or other snacks that have already been tasted by them or other children. With these proven tips, you’re sure to ward off whatever sick bugs winter throws at you!

Dr. Preeti Parikh is a board-certified pediatrician and serves as the Chief Medical Editor of HealthiNation, a medical expert on thebump.com, medical contributor to Multiplicity, and has contributed to various other publications. Her goal is to empower both parents and children with the right knowledge and tools to achieve their optimal health. She enjoys her free time with her husband and twin children. multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

photograph courtesy of drew photography & events

Bringing home a baby to a big brother or sister is a hard enough transition as it is, without bringing home multiple babies. As everyone adjusts to the “new normal”, it is important to make sure that the older child does not feel left out or ignored, or jealousy may begin to brew. Here are some tips on how to make the big brother or sister really feel like a star.

the babies have arrived: top ways to make big sibling

the star by alyssa keel 16

multiplicity

be honest with your kids

No matter how many children you already have, it is important to prepare them for the babies’ homecoming while you are still pregnant. Talk with your child at their level of development and understanding. Explain that they are extra special because they not only get one little brother or sister, but two (or more!). Explain what twins require, and how that means you will be a little busy taking care of them, but remind them that they will always be special and loved, no matter what. Be honest as to how things will change, describe how that might look, but reassure your older child that they will still get to spend time with you doing the things they love. Remind them that babies grow quickly and that before too long, they will not need as much hands-on attention. So that no one is left out, you’ll all have a role to play with the new babies.

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make a plan for your child

When expecting multiples, there is a higher chance of premature birth and C-section deliveries. If possible, plan in advance for your older child and where they might stay when you deliver your twins. Equally important is to consider recovery time after delivery; picking up or dropping off an older child may not be physically possible at first, and you may be so exhausted that you cannot care for another child right away. Asking a grandparent, family member or friend to either stay with your older child or have them over for a fun sleepover for a couple days should help ease the transition for you. If your twins are arriving via surrogate or adoption, do not underestimate the exhaustion you may still experience. Despite not needing to recover physically, allowing

yourself time to get into a routine for at least a couple days will help to be prepared for your older child to be home as well. Approach the news to your child as an adventure, rather than missing out on something. Keep in mind that if it is not possible to have someone stay with your child, you will still survive that initial homecoming period, as tired as you may be.

plan a gift from the twins

When bringing home the babies to an older brother or sister, planning a small gift from the twins may help to break the ice. Remember, the older sibling is now outnumbered and that means their parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; attention will be elsewhere for quite some time. Having a small gift, such as a book or toy, will help to bring up good memories for your older child, especially if you

remind them who gave them the present every time you read the story or play with the toy. It also ensures that during the excitement of the homecoming and subsequent visits from friends and family, that there is still time for them and they hold a special place in the new family unit.

keep the routine

As much as possible, keep your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s routine the same. If they get dressed each morning with one parent and the other takes them to school, try to maintain that level of normalcy. Saturday mornings may be cartoons or swimming lessons, or soccer and waffles for breakfast, and keeping that routine is especially important when everything else is new and strange. It may not be exactly

be honest as to how things will change, describe how that might look, but reassure your older child that they will still get to spend time with you doing the things they love. multiplicity

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as it was before the the babies, but it shows your older child that you will stay as consistent as possible so that their whole life is not a new chaos.

schedule a date

Now that you have your hands full with newborn babies, you will find that time seems to slip away and you do not have the same opportunity to spend one-on-one time with your older child. Try to schedule a time where both parents get individual time with your star, and as your twins get older, spending time with each on their own will allow you to bond with them as individuals, as opposed to always being part

of a plus one set. A date night with your oldest does not have to be fancy; a trip to the grocery store, a walk, a swing in the park, and even reading bedtime stories free from interruptions allows you and your child to reconnect without the new siblings. It serves as a reminder that the time together is special and that they will still get to spend time with their parent without having other babies around to steal the spotlight.

enlist their help

Depending on the age and ability of your child, having them help with the babies is an excellent way for them to not only feel involved, but to

feel empowered with a family role all their own. Asking them to grab diapers, pick out toys at the store, or help feed the babies with a bottle makes them feel like a trusted helper. Assigning small, age-appropriate tasks gives them responsibility and engages them in the day-to-day care of their little brothers or sisters, and helps you out, too. Score! No matter the transition, it is important to remember that occasional jealousy and uncertainness of the older child is sometimes unavoidable. With these simple tips, you can help to alleviate some of these feelings, and to create a family cohesion all your own.

Alyssa Keel works as a social worker in both Canada and the U.S. Living in Toronto, Alyssa is mum to a curious and loving three year-old boy and identical toddler twin girls. During her high risk mono/mono twin pregnancy, Alyssa began blogging on her familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s adventures as an extension of her love of writing. Alyssa loves taking photos and impromptu dance parties with her kids.

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FASHIONwinter FINDS warm-up

by talitha a. mcguinness 20

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

When it comes to the chill of winter, consider looks that can easily be layered, going from the outdoors to inside with minimal effort. This is especially important when pregnant so that you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t overheat. Consider tailored jackets, cascade cardigans and ponchos to do the trick!

Talitha was born a fashionista, sharing a love for beautiful clothing and trends that are timeless. Now with a family of 6, she stretches her budget to the limit, making everyone look great for less! multiplicity

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Being a stay at home father, my sons and I spend a lot of time out and about. We do the normal things like grocery shopping and running other errands, but my sons’ favorite days are when we schedule a playdate with the daddy group I belong to. It’s great to be part of a group with dads who have children of all ages. I’ve learned so much from those with kids older than mine, and have been a welcome resource to the fathers with kids younger than my twins. One of the most common questions I get asked is...

does it get easier?

I don’t think “easier” is the right word. It’s never easy. I tell them that it gets different. It seems that just when you start to master one stage, they grow up a little and you are faced with a whole new set of obstacles to overcome. There are a ton of books, manuals, and websites out there that all proclaim they have the answers. The truth is, there is no answer. Every child is different, just like every set of twins is different…even identical ones! My only advice is to pick up whatever tips and tricks you can to make each stage go as smoothly as possible.

TACKLING THE IMPOSSIBLE: tricks to raising twins by kevin zelenka

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the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

What are those tips, you ask? Well, here’s a few I’ve picked up along the way: 1. set a schedule & stick to it. This may sound familiar from other people you’ve talked to along the way. Do you know why? Because it’s the most important tip anyone with twins can share. Find out who told you this (other than me) and send them a nice fruit basket or something. Keeping your twins on the same schedule is going to improve the chances that you not go completely crazy during the first 8 months of their lives. Feed your babies on the same schedule, and put them down for sleep at the same time. If one wakes up early, wake the other one up, keeping them synchronized. It’s the only way you’re going to get a break. 2. keep choices to a minimum. Dealing with a toddler is taxing enough. Dealing with multiple toddlers gives new meaning to the word “challenging.” The less options you present them, the better. Why? They will both respond with a different answer: “Do you want to go to the park or the playplace?” or worse yet, the SAME answer: “Do you want the red cup or the blue one?” Every. Single. Time.

i’m telling you from experience… the blue hippo is the one they will both want. the solution may be two blue hippos, but they will be happy hippos!

3. set aside one on one time. They are twins, and it’s really easy to treat them as one. Heck, I even sign cards with “The Twins.” As hard as it may be to break free and do a little something special with each child, it’s one of the most important things you can do for them and to nurture your relationship separate from the other twin. It could be something as simple as reading a book with one before the other wakes up from a nap, or doing bath time separately so that you can focus on them independently. It also lets you realize how easy those with only one child have it. 4. outfits - buy sets of three. I’m not saying you have to dress your twins alike. Some people say that you shouldn’t. Do I dress my boys alike? Of course, I do! The reason why is because in less years than I care to admit, they will both be old enough to dress themselves and pick for themselves what they want to wear. I’m guessing it’s not going to be the cute Oshkosh B’Gosh overalls with red shirts and matching red socks. I normally dress them similar. They may both have jeans on, and the same style, but different color shirt. If you DO decide to dress your twins alike or even similar, I suggest buying outfits in threes. Why? Because Murphy’s Law has a way of sneaking up on twin parents. It never fails that the minute you’re heading out the door, one of them will get something on their outfit. That

third set of clothes prevents you from having to change them both. 5. toys - buy two of all of them. What is my oldest son’s favorite toy? It ALWAYS happens to be the one his brother has at any given moment. Although my wife and I knew this from the beginning, we still started buying two similar items with little differences rather than two of the exact same thing. Sounds reasonable, right? The Dump Truck and the Bull Dozer, or the Blue Hippo and the Red Hippo. DO NOT DO THIS. I’m telling you from experience…the blue hippo is the one they will both want. The solution may be two blue hippos, but they will be happy hippos (and more importantly, so will you!). These tips may work well for you…and well, they may not. If not, like I said, all children are different and no one has all the answers. Knowing that puts you far ahead of the game compared to someone that’s still reading everything on the internet and taking it as gospel. If any of these DO work for you, remember, they’ve come from experience. Only 35 months’ worth, but experience none the less. Feel free to get in touch and I’ll tell you where to send that fruit basket!

Kevin is a freelance writer and a stay at home father of fraternal twin toddlers. He enjoys spending time with his wife and sons, attending meet-ups with other dads, and an occasional round of golf. He can be found in the kitchen making lunch and mindlessly singing cartoon theme songs, or on his blog where he shares stories about the struggles and triumphs of raising twins. multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

questions asked of every mom of twins by julie mccaffrey

multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

Any mom of twins would agree that having multiples is a blessing and something truly special to experience. We know strangers are going to take double takes and even ask a few questions, but there are some questions that are just so silly we wish they would end! Are they twins? This is definitely the most common opening line that people will ask. “Are they twins?” is basically is the equivalent to “Have you been here before” in the dating world. Don’t feel guilty about smiling and saying “No” in an effort to avoid the next nine questions! Are they identical? Now this may not seem too silly when you have two girls or two boys, but when you have a boy and a girl together, it just seems ridiculous to have to answer. This is only topped with the follow-up question, “Are you sure?” when you explain that no, they are not identical. I once had a stranger try to tell me that my boy/ girl twins were identical because their faces looked so much alike. I was actually starting to explain the difference in boys and girls when I was thankfully saved by another silly question from a stranger. Were they natural? Yes, they were natural because

aren’t all babies? While you know what they are really asking, this silly question is just inappropriate. How come their names don’t match? While all twins in 1990s television sitcoms had matching names, not every parent today wants to scream that their kids are twins. Most parents of twins will tell you they want their twins to also be strong individuals, and not having matching names helps. Matching names can also cause a paperwork nightmare and parents of twins don’t need any more headaches with paperwork than necessary! Do you have your hands full? What gave that away? The fact that in the time you have managed to ask that question, one has crawled out of the stroller and the other has emptied our diaper bag? The only thing that makes this question more silly is when people follow it up by telling you they know how you feel because they had two kids close in age. Were you trying for twins? There is actually no good answer for this and it’s likely the most awkward on the list. When a parent of twins is asked this, it is often followed by a strange moment of silence and staring contest with the

stranger as you try to figure out how to answer without insulting them. Are you done now? The same stranger would never ask a parent of two singletons if they were done. Some people may wish they could have more children and simply can’t or some people may be planning on having several children. Which one is the good one? The first time I was asked this, I told the stranger that these were the good ones and we left the evil triplet at home. The Q&A session ended. Refer back to question #7; this is just never appropriate or would never be asked of parents of singletons. Do twins run in your family? The classic answer for this is of course “Yes, they run around my living room every day,” but by the time I get to the question, I am usually so exhausted I just smile and say yes. However, this almost always leads to the next question, “On your mom’s or dad’s side?” Did you deliver them? I think this comes out of stranger’s mouths before they realize how personal in nature this question is. Unless you want to hear the vivid details of my labor and vaginal birth with my twins, it is time to smile and walk away!

Julie McCaffrey is a mommy to 3 kids, including one set of twins. Julie owns BabyNav Baby Planners where she offers personalized consultation to new and expecting parents. She is a modern baby gear expert and loves to help moms and dads navigate everything from baby gear to preparing for multiples to getting back to work and getting the whole family on a routine. Follow her on Facebook or check her out her website. multiplicity

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a life-saving resource for parents of twins by lonnie somers

When my wife and I started trying to get pregnant, we were a little naive to how easy it would be. What went from excitement of learning we were having twins, soon turned to worry as doctors mentioned foreign phrases like “fetal syndrome”, “TTTS”, and “high risk specialist”. We were shocked. How could this happen? Did we cause this? What now? We were only 20 weeks into the pregnancy and for the duration, it became a rollercoaster ride of emotions, scrolling the internet to learn all we could about the diagnosis, doctor appointments for monitoring, rest and proper nutrition, and finally a laser procedure for which we travelled clear across the country that saved my girls’ lives. TTTS would have killed my twins if not for our doctors and the in-vitro laser procedure that now saves hundreds of thousands of babies each year. Like us, families diagnosed with a fetal syndrome often have only a few emotional days to find a life-changing medical treatment in to save their pregnancy and realize by efforts kinan copen 26

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their dreams of becoming a family. Sadly, they’ve been told there is no hope for their baby or babies to survive. In this terrifying moment of realization, my wife and I created the Fetal Health Foundation as a way to provide emotional support and a direct connection to leading fetal treatment centers and doctors around the world. Our daughters were our inspiration, and we love knowing we’re helping other parents going through similar and unfortunate circumstances. What started as a fun, local 5K to spread awareness about TTTS has now become a multi-city fundraising and awareness event, and a 12 year long journey to support parents when they need it most. In the beginning, we served so many families facing TTTS and other multiple birth issues mainly because it’s what we knew and how we could relate, but through our connections and experience, we now offer support to even more syndromes unrelated to twins. It is also through families just like ours who

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

work to advocate and help spread awareness around fetal syndromes through events like our National Great Candy Run, now reaching over 10,000 people across the country.

than 200 babies will die due to lack of information and absence of treatment. The difference is that with the launch of the Foundation’s newest website, there are now answers and hope.

With so little information available at the time of our diagnosis, my wife and I wanted the Foundation to truly be a source of hope and information. We created a unique Medical Advisory Board that is available on our website and is the only way we are able to ensure accurate information and even provide second opinions for families when necessary. The Board is comprised of some of the top fetal and maternal specialists across the country, many of them also fetal surgeons who provide life-saving care when a diagnosis is given.

Created to showcase one of the most robust repositories of fetal syndromes, Fetal Health’s website provides information on upwards of 100 syndromes, including an explanation of the diagnosis, treatment options available, as well as fetal centers around the country that provide that care. Now and never before has there existed a site with so much information about fetal syndromes in one place. This

More recently and perhaps more importantly, the Foundation has been able to provide research grants, funding new treatments and technologies to save more babies’ lives. We are excited to see those funds used for efforts toward creating better imaging and equipment used in the surgeries of so many fetal syndromes. Today, hundreds of parents will receive a fetal syndrome diagnosis and sadly, more

dynamic changes everything for a parent facing a fetal syndrome diagnosis. The Foundation’s website also provides stories to help share the journeys of families and how they overcome obstacles in their fight to save their babies’ lives. Only launched a few short months ago, the website’s traffic has increased tremendously and is reaching families in our own backyard, but as far away as Malta and Indonesia. It makes it even more clear how badly parents need a source of hope in their darkest hour.

the somers fa mily *The Foundation is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit and is very much a grassroots organization. It depends largely on funds raised at events and through individual donations. To learn more about them and how you can get involved, visit their website at www.fetalhealthfoundation.org.

Lonnie has over 10 years’ experience serving across various areas in the event industry and is the owner of Hallucination Sports. He is also the Founder of the Fetal Health Foundation, a non-profit organization he and his wife created in honor of their identical twin daughters, and successfully created a national fundraising and awareness event, The Great Candy Run, to benefit the Foundation. In his free time, Lonnie enjoys spending time with his family, running, and cycling. multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

tough love:

how to raise twins to understand that discipline is for their own good

by kerry bergeman 28

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the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

I never really paid much attention to the parenting disciplines of others until I started teaching at the local college. I believe it was my second year teaching and a young girl wrote me an e-mail in all capital letters demanding her grade be changed. As I thoroughly checked all her grades and responded graciously, I thought I better share this with my department head who was very glad I did. She went to him to file a complaint. This student and her parents had a meeting with him that very afternoon. “Suzie” threw a massive temper tantrum because she wasn’t getting any credit for her work. Well, she did the wrong assignments and being understanding to the fact that college is a difficult transition and most of my students had full-time jobs, I decided to give her a chance to turn in the correct assignments. She didn’t want to redo them; she wanted credit for the work she did. After all, she spent a lot of time on them. This right here was the first sign that there was a new generation popping up of self-indulged, over pampered, under disciplined “adults” and it scared me.

really is. And sometimes, the sooner, the better. So, what changed? Where or when did this shift in parenting happen? Steve and I raise our children very similar to how we were raised and while I’m not going to get into the details of our upbringings, I will say it is certainly different than what the world around us seems to be doing. I’ve been told that I am tough on my girls, but that’s because the world is sometimes a tough place. I don’t want them to be shocked when they get their first job and realize the boss lady doesn’t care if she has the sniffles or Bobby just broke her heart. Boss lady only cares that her business is thriving. After all, she is paying you to work! This article is a difficult one to write because it is such a hot topic. There is so much controversy over spanking and yelling versus talking and hugging as a discipline.

It was then... that I realized I don’t want them to grow up being self-indulged brats.

Her parents wanted to know why I was giving their perfect daughter zeros for her work. When my department head presented them with what was assigned and what was turned in, I’m guessing they were embarrassed because the situation was never brought up again.

The fact that I was called into my boss’s office, the fact that this goes in my “folder”, and the fact that I have to, along with my colleagues, walk on egg shells to make sure we don’t upset our students is absurd. Sadly, this is the reality for many professions right now. I would have never behaved like this when I was a student. If I didn’t get my work done or if I was late, I didn’t cry about it. I sucked it up and learned the world doesn’t revolve around me! I can’t properly teach students to be prepared for their real world and their field if I have to coddle them all along the way. At some point, reality has to be exposed for the often cold and hard world it multiplicity

I’ve witnessed parents completely ignore their child’s behavior because “he is just working it out.” I’ve watched them disregard punishments because they don’t want her to be “sad.”

I’ve watched friends and family members discipline, and while at times I thought, “GOOD LORD, PLEASE DO SOMETHING!!!” I’ve never interfered as it isn’t my place, however when your child is being a blatant bully or not following the rules, a parent needs to stop being a friend and start being a parent or else I WILL say something (especially if it is affecting my own children and their behavior). There is nothing about being your child’s friend versus being the parent that is helping them in the long run. I think there is a lot of misinformation and misinterpretation out there about spanking, giving your child choices, being a positive parent, and even forcing timeouts. As an entire generation, we have over-analyzed every detail of life to the point that we have made everything offensive, sad, and wrong. --- contd. pg. 55 the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

making a connection in a digital world by victoria worch

In a time where we quickly text or voice record a message to send, and spend just enough time on Facebook to “like” someone’s status or new photo, are we really too busy to pick up the phone? I sat there. Counting how many friends I have on my Facebook page and thought, there has to be at least one person I can call. Someone with whom I can have a real conversation. Yes, it is easy to scroll through the newsfeed, to share a bit of my own life, and then turn off the phone. Yet after a few days of this, a few days of minimal conversation with my husband, I’m left wondering: are we really too busy to pick why don’t we talk on the phone any more? What am I afraid of? Sharing that I’m having fun and that I’m also missing the experience of having co-workers? That it’s not what it’s cracked up to be?

What is it that I really need? Laughter, tears, a “totally” or “So, any new gossip?” to help get me through? We can’t rely on the likes and the status updates people! We can’t rely on texting all the time. We are meant to connect on a human level. If you haven’t called a human being, I mean, really used your phone for its original purpose, dial it. Call someone. Hear a human’s voice. I don’t want to leave it all up to status updates and “screen” friends, only to find myself with no one to talk to on Saturday night. I know better. I know because I lived before the smart phone. I was that 8th grader, in my room for hours on end, with that phone that you could see all the wires inside, and I talked up a storm with my boyfriend, with my girl friends, and whoever would listen. I can’t imagine a young

person today, just sitting on their bed, typing away with acronyms and emojis instead of really talking and listening to the other person’s energy, their laughter, their worries, and their tears. Yes, life for most of us is full to the brim right now. Full with more work than we can imagine. Full with children that need our attention every minute of every day. Full with parents aging and parents passing on. Life goes on, but is really full. I know you and you know me and you know we used talk on the phone. We used to meet for coffee. Let’s do that soon. The next time you go to send a text, call instead. The twins might be sleeping. Your friend might be on the couch with their partner. They might be at work. It’s okay if they say, “let me call you back”. The key is you reached out. You heard a voice. You connected.

After advising and developing college student leaders for 13 years, Victoria became a stay-athome parent of twins and an older son. She is a freelance writer, enjoys visiting local parks, and makes each day count. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday, she posts photos of inspirational quotes written on her front entry way blackboard. 30

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appy winter

fun, educational apps for kids of all ages --and for mom and dad, too!

qeepsake app Have trouble keeping track of the fun facts about your duo? Once a day, Qeepsake texts you a thought-provoking question about your child. Just text back a response and an entry is added to your child’s journal. When your kids are old enough, share your journals with them, or print a Qeepsake book. Capture the happy, crazy, proud, and funny. A genius way to record your kids’ every day life!

for the preschool and under crowd With its cute characters, sweet stories, fun drawings, and darling songs, the Learn with Homer app for the 3-6 year old set will charm your kids. The app incorporates Common Core literacy standards. There are more traditional phonics lessons and exercises here, too, but it’s the level of interactivity that we like most. Kids can record their own voices talking about what they’ve learned with Homer. for those 5 and up Prepare to be impressed! DNA Play is an app for building a monster that is decorated with a variety of features attached to its body. It shows children (ages 4-10) a simplified version of how different genes can change the appearance of their one-of-a-kind monster. Crazy Gears is a new app that teaches children (ages 6-8) about the physical properties of motion using simple gear puzzles. It helps explain these properties in a nonthreatening way that make sense, by letting children experiment with different parts and arrangements.

When every twin parent hears... how do you do it?

double trouble! are they twins or just really close in age?

are they identical?

were they natural?

bless your heart!

We say, you’ve got this and we're here to help! the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples.

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capturing your every day by firewife photography

Perhaps in the New Year you want to improve your photography to enhance the everyday shots you take of your family. There are various ways to do it, but the most rewarding approach is to begin a personal photography project. Some photo projects are ongoing and can last for years, while some will last only a week, or even a day. Choose one that appeals to you and the time you can commit.

The subject matter, duration, concept, and ultimate result are all up to you! The real beauty of a personal photography project lies simply within the fact that there is no need to conform to anyone else’s expectations.

personal photography projects out there. Shoot one image every day of the year. The benefit to a project like this is that is calls for some serious discipline and focus. Not only is it difficult to remember or make time to take a photo every day for an entire year, but it’s also a challenge to stay on topic. With such a longterm commitment, it can be extremely easy to wander away from the topic you originally chose. However, the benefit to participating in a 365 day project is that it will strengthen your mental stamina and ability to achieve a long-term goal.

project 52

Have no clue where to begin? Read on for some ideas, tips and tricks for success!

If you are worried about capturing an image every day for a year, Project 52 is a great alternative. This is one in which you take one picture each week of the year. The key is that you are continuing to take photos.

project 365

30 day journey

This is the most challenging 32

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Exact same concept as the 365

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by jennifer parker

and 52, but for just 30 days. The images included with this article are from my own personal project capturing my youngest for 30 days last March. In the end, the duration of your project is not as important as the journey itself. What should you capture on this journey? That is the best part...anything you want! You may decide to photograph your children, your everyday, your morning coffee even --- the subject makes no difference, yet is perhaps the most crucial aspect of your project. Remaining inspired and excited is imperative, so having an interesting subject helps keep the challenge alive. Need ideas for inspiration?

random word

It might sound weird, but it works, and is fun. You pick a word and see if it is good as a photography subject. For example --- sleeping, reading, conversations, games, etc. are all words that inspire some creativity for personal

photography projects.

self portraits

This is fun to do since you are the photographer and the subject. You can opt to be specific about this project: self-portraits in different locations, self-portraits in front of a mirror, etc. Just be creative!

alphabet soup

A creative approach is to locate each letter of the alphabet as they appear in your surroundings. Take a picture of the wheel of a car to represent the letter “O”. This encourages re-training your eye to see things in a different way. Look for images within different textures, metal, concrete, glass, organic materials, etc. Allowing the creative part of your brain to engage in new ways will help you do the same if you ever need to come up with ideas on the spot.

a day in the life

If you’ve got a free day that you can devote to a photography project, consider doing a day in the life project. This means documenting an entire day – either a day in your life, or the life of someone else, in which case, the possibilities are endless and you could turn it into a whole series. Consider also thinking outside the box slightly --- a day in the life of your pet perhaps? Jennifer is the proud owner of Firewife Photography, a Charlotte photography service focused on twin families. She works with families in capturing and creating treasured moments that span beyond space and time. She is a mom of 8 year old boy/girl twins and a 4 year old daughter. Jennifer is also the loving wife of a tireless firefighter. You can connect with her via her website or on facebook.

more tips and tricks

Finding a project idea is one thing, but following through and accomplishing it is another. Here are some tips that you might find useful: *Choose what works for you. *Set a time frame. This helps to accomplish it in its entirety. *Set an objective. These projects should benefit you, so set a goal to learn a new technique, improve your skills through your project, etc.. *Share your work while doing the project. I believe that sharing your work with others will help you in getting some inspiration. However, try not to share your work with a cynic if you are a beginner. Of course, the decision is yours; you don’t have to share if you don’t want to. No matter the subject, duration or concept, start now! You will never regret your project and I encourage you to create either a blog or a photobook at the end of your journey. You will be amazed at what you capture and create! multiplicity

the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

16hunkering

ideas for

down with the kids by tobi stewart

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the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples

multiplicity

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he winter brings its own brand of beauty and magic. Light snowfalls and planning for a new season can be a whimsical and exciting time. Being nestled in your home when winter weather strikes can be a relaxing change of pace, but being at home with young children can get stressful, particularly if you are on snow day number four! I live in an area of the world that is pretty famous for bad weather and I feel fairly certain that I’ve perfected ways to keep multiples entertained while hunkered down at home. However, this is not necessarily a Pinterest-worthy list. This is a list that you can pick from while negotiating the mounting laundry and your second (or third!) cup of coffee! 1) Have an art show! Wait, don’t run away. This isn’t an arts and crafts project. I repeat: there are no stains or glitter ahead. I propose instead, that you take that pile of art work you’d never dare throw out and help your multiples display their work in your home. Tape on the wall or magnets on the fridge will suffice. The real magic of the art show is the attention you will pay to the presentation. If they are old enough, let them name their work and share their inspiration with you and their siblings. You can prompt a presentation from little ones with a “what were you feeling when you made this?” or “why did you choose one color over another?”…etc. The important part is they have the spotlight. Instead of a cursory, “That’s nice,” as they jump up and down by your side at the stove, your child’s art has your full 36

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appreciation and is on display for the whole family to see. 2) Nothing beats winter blues better than a Beach Party! Think warm, vacation thoughts with this one. Get in your bathing suits and put on your shades. The best part? No sweat, no sand and no reapplying the sunscreen! Have lunch together on your beach towels while listening to the steel drums on Pandora and pretending you can see dolphins playing in the distance. The imagination your kids will provide is what makes this fun, so follow their lead. 3) Play in the snow! I know you don’t want to go outside. For many of us, we get heaps of snow all winter long and it loses its fun after a few days. Instead, bring the outside in! Fill a water table or plastic bin with snow and get out sand toys to play with it inside. This is an especially great activity if one of your multiples needs sensory input. Also, just think of all the extra laundry you’ll be sparing yourself with none of that running in to get warm and back out to play mess! 4) Cook! I am not talking about the three page recipe which requires exotic ingredients. Depending on

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age, this is the opportunity to show your children how to make anything from a PB&J sandwich to mac and cheese or even some yummy chocolate chip cookies (who doesn’t love a good cookie with hot cocoa on a cold, wintery day?!?). Take time outside of the rush of daily life to teach them to prepare one of their favorite foods that, up until now, you have always prepared for them. 5) Plan your next family vacation (and I’m not talking Disney World!). Whether or not you actually have the funds for this sojourn is besides the point. Use the internet and your imaginations to create a trip of your dreams. If you had the time and money for your family to travel, where would you go? You and your multiples may learn a ton about Venice and the ancient ruins of Rome as you play out that dream vacation to Italy. 6) Create a jamming playlist. Sit down with your multiples and let everyone get in on creating a playlist for your next holiday, family gathering, or road trip. If you don’t have anything coming up, put it on and enjoy an impromptu dance party! 7) Capture your silliness. Create some fun photo props using things you already have around the house (think dad’s ties, mom’s jewelry and scarves, dress-up clothes, etc.). You can use skewers to attach funny faces made out of construction paper or cardstock, and get to snapping. Your kids will love that you helped style them for the shoot and you’ll have some really fun photos to show for it! 8) Budding thespians will love

to act out a few scenes with you. Incorporate writing skills by writing dialogue for or with your multiples. 9) The super girlie version of a play is the Barbie fashion show. We choose looks and runway music in my house and then I video the show on my iPhone to send to our friends. 10) Play store. Children of all ages can benefit from the math skills you can incorporate into playing store. There are countless options, from identifying coins to making change when your child plays grocer or art dealer. They can also sell you some of that expensive art work they’ve taped to the wall. 11) Do yoga! I am a Yogi Mama so my girls are used to me rolling out my mat. If you are new to yoga you could YouTube a few postures to learn to get energized before they get on the bus, and a few to help them settle themselves before bed. Not into yoga? Any workout show or video will do, as long as you include them in it.

13) If you have older children, consider choosing a classic book that you can read aloud together. Either take turns reading or let them get comfy so that you can read and reenact some of the action scenes. Take your time with it if it’s a longer novel. You can easily spread it out over an entire week, and if there’s a movie to go along with it, that will make for a fun weekend activity to share with the whole family. 14) Take a breath...literally! A huge part of yoga is breath work in asanas and in meditation. Teaching kids how to slow down and take a few deep belly breaths can help them negotiate the stress before a test or help them find a pause before they lose their temper with a sibling. 15) Set up a tent in the living room and let them climb inside to draw or play action figures. Tents even make a fun spot to

watch a movie. Don’t have a tent? Do it the old fashioned way...build a fort with pillows, chairs and blankets! Your kids will love that you are letting them do something out of the norm and you’ll love that they’re quiet (for at least 5 minutes!). 16) Turn off the TV for just a bit and ask your multiples to write a top 10 list of things they appreciate about their siblings. You can scribe these lists if your kids are small. The things that pop up on the page can be real surprises and they make for great little keepsakes to tuck away for later. A long weekend or a snow day shouldn’t be dreaded because of the long list of things we have to do, but is a chunk of time carved out for us to appreciate our families. Enjoy your time with your multiples this winter. There is a lot of magic in the ordinary moments with your family.

12) Pull out all of your old board or card games and show them ways you played with friends when you were little. Introducing them to some of your favorites will mean a lot to them and you’ll love teaching them something fun and new. It’ll also enforce sharing and taking turns. You never know...it could turn into a weekly family game night!

Tobi Stewart has been writing for Multiplicity since its start. She is a wife, mommy of twins, and a Contemplative Educator who specializes in working with autism families. multiplicity

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mikenzie’s boys

fertility +fate: when three became two by mikenzie oldham 38

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We were told it was the body’s way of natural selection when our triplets became twins. Thankfully, we hadn’t even really been told we were having triplets, yet now we were over halfway through my pregnancy with our twin boys and a rare molar pregnancy that could possibly attach to the boys’ placentas at any moment. If it grew too big, it would take up too much space from them and we would need to do an emergency c-section to get them out. Needless to say, this landed me in the high risk pregnancy category and I was closely monitored for the duration. We had done years of fertility treatments with our calm, persistent fertility specialist, Dr. Pinto and finally an IVF had worked. We were pregnant! The doctor visits had become almost daily, switching between our regular OB and a high risk OB. Everything during this time seemed frantic. I longed for the pregnant “glow”, but knew I would never have it because of the underlying stress of it all that not many people knew about. We told close friends and family. It just didn’t feel like it was anyone else’s business. I think if anything went wrong, I didn’t want the pressure of explaining it

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over and over again. I knew I couldn’t handle it. Every visit with the high risk OB seemed surreal. He had tiny glasses and wild blonde hair. He always spoke to us with a very excited sense of urgency. We knew this was big, uncommon, unusual. He worried us. He used words like “attack”, “lose”, “cancer”, and even “chemo”. None of these are words you want associated with your pregnancy. I felt I had a monster inside of me trying to harm the two babies I had tried so hard to conceive, and I was powerless to stop it. Being a mother and keeping my babies safe was my most important job and I was already failing. Basically, during the insemination process, one of the babies ended up with too many chromosomes from my husband and not enough from me to become a molar pregnancy. It continued to grow and take up space and at some point, attached to the other fetuses’ placentas, taking their nutrients. Our doctors explained that it is very uncommon for any other fetus to survive along with a molar. In our case, baby A (Kase), had an identical twin that didn’t form correctly and turned into a molar, which would have been baby B, and baby C is the fraternal triplet who is actually now the viable baby B (Kingston). At first we were told we had one baby. Then twins. Then triplets. Then twins with a vanishing

triplet. Then twins with a molar pregnancy. As can be imagined, my emotions were everywhere.

diapers were many, but the house was full of love and soon full of laughter.

We knew at any moment if they said the word, we would need to go straight into the OR. They were constantly looking for any sign that the boys were in distress and they would take me in for an emergency c-section.

The doctors watched me closely for one year after to make sure my HCG levels stayed low and did X-rays and ultrasounds to make sure the molar did not drop any cancer particles inside my body. I now know it was the body’s “natural selection” process. I know that if he had made it, he would have had no quality of life. However, it doesn’t stop me from often wondering “what if” he would have made it out healthy like his brothers. There would be two of Kase and Kingston would be a triplet! Life would be drastically different. Wonderful, but different!

Thankfully, our regular OB knew how to keep me calm during the urgency of it all. He challenged me to make it to certain weeks and we would count down the days for developmental milestones, like when their brains or lungs were formed. At 36 weeks, we were concerned because baby B was not moving. We went in and they checked me into the hospital to monitor him overnight. They established that he was fine, but since the boys had made it safely to 36 weeks and were extremely cramped in there, it was time to get them out. We got taken down for the C-Section and I waited patiently for the words I had waited so long to hear... “They are staying”. I knew if the nurses took them that they would be going to the NICU. But no, one by one I heard each one cry and a nurse say “he is staying”. Then I watched as our two doctors removed the molar. My husband walked up holding both boys and every single fear and worry left my body.

I love being a mommy to these two amazing boys, watching them learn and grow everyday. Of course, there is also a little piece of my heart that will always love someone that never truly existed.

Five days later, we all left as the family we had been trying for, for so many years. Yes, the nights were long and the

Mikenzie is Kase and Kingston’s sidekick. She has expertise in rock hunting and puddle jumping. They are professionals at saving the world, one day at a time. You can follow all their shenanigans on facebook. multiplicity

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room DIY: winter makeover by barbara miller 40

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his winter I was looking for a way to give a child’s room a sprinkling of seasonal flair without spending too much on decorations and that would work year round. As a passionate DIYer, I took a little time to find some popular trends I could emulate myself and looked around at thrift and craft stores for anything inexpensive I could repurpose. What I came up with was a fun, colorful sports themed bedroom that’s not genderspecific and is great for a shared space. Each of the three projects in this makeover can be done for under $40, and are simple enough that your children can help all along the way. snowboard headboard My first inspiration came from a pile of children’s snowboard toys I discovered at a thrift store. These were small, plastic snowboards with bindings that I picked up for $5 each. My boys are enthusiastic snowboarders, so displaying a rack of snowboards above their beds seemed like a great way to celebrate and encourage that passion.

imagine! It’s a bold way to make their passion a ‘permanent’ part of their space, but that you can remove and recycle without guilt or hesitation should they change their mind down the road. Invite your children to dream up their own ideal headboard, and bring them with you on your thrift store adventure to see what jumps out at them. chevron wall antlers Over the last year, I’ve seen the bold, white porcelain animal heads all over. They’re a trendy piece that adds both elegance and whimsy, but they can be expensive for an accent piece. This is where DIY comes in! The first thing you need to keep in mind is that you won’t be able to imitate the high-end pieces with cardboard deer antlers from Michael’s – and you shouldn’t try! Those trendy,

high-end animal heads are great inspiration, but you need to take it in your own direction. Chevrons are everywhere now, so I did some fun paper mache and a simple chevron design. With the separated antlers, I attached them to a cardboard base and sprayed it with a simple chalkboard paint to allow my children a little extra room for creativity. birch bark lamp This is the project I’ve received the most feedback on since I first put it together. This particular lamp is perfect for a bedside table, but you could easily use the same idea for a floor lamp, or in a family room. The birch tree in our yard sheds its bark in the fall. It was such a beautiful texture and came off in these perfect paper thin strips that I couldn’t help but peel. I peeled off these bark strips, let

The project was deceptively simple. With some wood from the hardware store, I screwed together a basic brace to screw the snowboards into. I removed the plastic bindings, attached them to the wood with screws, and I was done! This project can easily be adapted to any activity your child is interested in. If they like baseball, use bats; if they like boats, use oars or fish or sails --- whatever you can multiplicity

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them dry, and then with a little mod podge, decoupaged them onto a lamp from a thrift store. You may find that the mod podge isn’t enough to adhere some of the more stubborn pieces of bark, so look for a good clear construction adhesive (I used Loctite brand) that you can use to pin the edges to the lamp. Don’t have a shedding birch tree? Don’t fret! If you like the birch texture, you can always decoupage paper onto the lamp and paint fine grey and brown lines around it to imitate the bark. You can also do this project with pages from an old book, comics out of the newspaper, or just use plain paper and paint it as you’d like! It’s a great way to use an old and more importantly inexpensive lamp as

a way to accent your room with some brightness and creativity. Remember, all of these projects are perfect canvases for you to put your own signature touch on them. Find something creative for making a headboard, choose your own colors and patterns for the paper mache deer heads, and decoupage the lamp with whatever your heart desires! Giving your child input into the design of a permanent fixture in their room is a great way to give them a sense of ownership over their space and to show your faith in their creativity. These projects are all simple and inexpensive, so you can feel free to set them loose without worrying about the budget. Give it a shot and let us know what you think!

Barbara is a mom of 5 and a professional ASID interior designer. She uses her high end home design experience as inspiration for creating DIY home decor projects on a budget. When she isn’t designing homes, remaking thrift shop finds or driving carpool, she serves on the board of the Portland Children’s Museum, contributes pro-bono hours to local school design committees and supports childcentered non-profits nationwide. Check out her blog, or connect with her on facebook and pinterest.

Need to rethink how you use the spaces in your home? In 5 easy steps, YES Spaces helps you determine the issue, the space and the people to make your design idea work perfectly for you and your space.

Let YES Spaces help you take your DIY to the next level!

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What to do when they get here should be the last thing on your mind. From breastfeeding, sleep training, getting them on a schedule, and how to twin proof your marriage, Twiniversity classes have you covered. From the best-selling book What to Do When You’re Having Two, parents leave armed with information to help them thrive with their multiples. Expecting? Twiniversity Part I has everything you need to know BEFORE your bundles of joy arrive! Class highlights include doctor’s office tips, equipment you will need, how to find help, delivery day tips, dealing with a NICU stay, and much more! Babies already arrived? Part II covers “a day in the life of your twinnies”, from the moment they open their eyes until you close your eyes at night, and everything in between.

For more information or to sign up, visit twiniversity.com.

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classes now available in New York City, Chicago, and online!

by the mom squad

family friendly meals... found on pinterest

PB oatmeal

cauliflower soup

This time of year is when most of us crave comfort food to fill our souls. Ever tried Peanut Butter Oatmeal for breakfast? It’ll definitely do the trick, and this recipe by The Gracious Pantry uses clean, simple ingredients, making it easy and good for you, too! If you’re looking for another way to eat your oats, try something a little different like Baked Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal by Bubbly Nature Creations. What’s not to love? For a lighter meal, try making a batch of Cooking Classy’s 44

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turkey + sweet potato skillet

Potato Cauliflower Soup. Made with real cream, milk and cheese, your kids will never know if has carrots and cauliflower in it! If you’re running short on time, your kids will love Primavera Kitchen’s Ground Turkey and Sweet Potato Skillet. I don’t know about you, but I love one pot meals that are good for you and easy to clean up, too. Another tried and true favorite with so many variations is the one pot chili recipe. Damn Delicious makes it family friendly with ground turkey and

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apple pie bites

macaroni and cheese. Feel free to tweak the recipe with the types of beans your kids will eat, but this is one hearty meal they’ll come back for more. For other yummy and fun options, try introducing Pizza Quesadillas, Chicken Pot Pie Cupcakes, and even Parmesan Chicken Tenders. For dessert, try making simple Apple Pie Bites by The Blond Cook. With apples, cinnamon, butter and bread, it’s the perfect ending to a perfect meal. Enjoy!

one pot cheesy chicken pasta

parmesan chicken tenders

pizza quesadillas with pepperoni

chicken pot pie cupcakes

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the psychology of parenting twins 46

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by dr. joan friedman

believe most of us would agree that if bystanders were to see a family with three singletons in the store versus a family with one singleton and twins, the comments, stares, and glares would be focused on the twin’s family.

As parents of twins can attest, onlookers feel compelled to ask inappropriate questions and make unkind comments when they see multiples. There seems to be a common thread through the litany of maternal complaints and laments about the inconsiderate and intrusive remarks made by spectators. Asking whether or not the babies are conceived naturally seems to have replaced the age old question about which child is older. The ‘double trouble’ comment or ‘better you than me’ retort belies disguised criticism. It can intimate that one’s motives or sanity about having more than one baby at a time are questionable. Is it not paradoxical that the idealized attention and interest evoked by seeing twins can generate such unkind and thoughtless feelings in others? Trying to understand exactly why this happens is speculative on my part but, nonetheless, important to explore. I can only surmise that such hostile expressions evolve out of envy. Perhaps people’s perceptions about twins being special and having a lifelong soul mate and best friend trigger their longings for such an

intimate connection. In addition, I believe that some people feel that multiples represent an ‘embarrassment of riches’. They may harbor the belief that people with money to spare recklessly use IVF technology to produce an instant family. The dichotomy in this situation is that while many people publicly idealize and envy the twin connection, they are completely unaware of the trials and tribulations imposed upon families behind closed doors. Notwithstanding possible complications with infertility and giving birth, most people have no knowledge about the difficulties involved in caring for two or more babies --- physically, emotionally, and financially. They are not empathic about the overwhelming and taxing issues facing parents of newborn multiples: sleep deprivation; the physical magnitude required to manage two hungry, needy infants; the sense of isolation and depression which can temporarily overwhelm even the most masterful of mothers; the sense of guilt about not being able to bond individually with each baby because there are so few moments of alone time. The list goes on and can also vary

depending on the age and stage of the multiples. If more people were able to appreciate the magnitude of the caretaking tasks and responsibilities involved with multiples, perhaps they would not turn their idyllic imaginings into envious barbs. Instead of glaring and shaking their heads if there are two babies crying instead of one, and making mother feel more overwhelmed and judged than she already feels, a kind, enlightened person might offer a sympathetic smile and a warm knowing glance of understanding and compassion. A helping hand goes a long way, too! It is very sad that this profound disconnect and misunderstanding between the idealized twin perceptions and the hardnosed brutal realities involved in managing young twins is not more readily recognized. If this were so, observers might feel more inclined to manage their personal feelings of envy, disdain, and criticism and offer congratulations and support on a job well done. That would be a double blessing for all of us.

Dr. Friedman is a psychotherapist who has devoted years of her professional career to educating twins and their families about twins’ emotional needs. A twin herself and having worked through her own twinship challenges and parented her fraternal twin sons, she is a definitive expert about twin development. She is the author of Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children. Her second book, The Same but Different, addresses the intricacies of adult twin relationships. To learn more, check out her blog or watch her segment on the Today Show. multiplicity

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book review by cara krenn

For the Children

Parents with a quirky sense of humor will love reading Dragons Love Tacos by Adam Rubin and Daniel Salmieri, a picture book about delightful dragons who really love their tacos. Of course dragons being the size they are, have a hefty appetite --- but watch out for that spicy salsa! What’s worse than a chronic case of the hiccups? How about a HIPPO with a chronic case of the hiccups? Is there any cure, or are those hiccups doomed to stay? Your little ones will love the illustrations, wacky text, and unforgettable characters that unite in The Hiccupotamus by Aaron Zens. Emily is a serious girl. She enjoys serious things --- birdwatching, math, and playing the cello. In Ducks Don’t Wear Socks by Nedwidek, Emily runs into Duck, who is anything but serious. Duck teaches Emily the importance of laughing— especially at oneself. A witty and 48

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comical debut picture book, this hilariously illustrated story will have your little ones laughing along with Emily. At Mad Scientist Academy, Dr. Cosmic’s class of clever monsters must solve the greatest challenges in science. After he reveals that their school pet, Oscar, is a dinosaur, the students quickly realize Dr. Cosmic has an unusual teaching style. Mad Scientist Academy: The Dinosaur Disaster by Matthew McElligott is hailed as The Magic School Bus series for a new generation. You’ll want to believe in magic through the power of this very special circus in Circus Mirandus by Cassie Beasley. Micah believes in the stories his dying Grandpa Ephraim tells him of the invisible tiger, the flying birdwoman, and the magician more powerful than any other—the Man Who Bends Light. Journey with Micah as he sets out to find the Circus and the man he believes can save his grandfather. In Madeleine L’Engle’s classic novel A Wrinkle in Time, your kids can explore the concept of time travel with Meg Murray, her brother Charles Wallace and their friend Calvin. When the children’s father disappears after experimenting with the fifth dimension, they go on an adventure through space

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and time, thwarting evil to find their dad and bring him home. When Jackson and his family fall on hard times, there’s no more money for rent, and not much for food, either. His parents, his little sister, and their dog may have to live in their minivan. In Crenshaw by Katherine Applegate, Crenshaw the cat has come to help. Will Jackson’s imaginary friend be able to help save his family from losing everything? Part mystery, part literary puzzle, part life-anddeath quest, and chillingly magical, The Rosemary Spell by Virginia Zimmerman offers the biggest of adventures for readers who love books, words, and clues. Rosie and Adam find an old book with blank pages that fill with handwriting before their very eyes. They soon realize it is truly magical --- it has the power to make people vanish, even from memory. In trying to save Adam’s sister from the void, will they risk their own lives in the process? For the Adults If you loved All the Light We Cannot See, you’ll also love The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah, a 2015 Goodreads Choice Award Winner. This memorable historical novel tells the stories of two sisters surviving

German-occupied France during WWII, a testament to the particular resilience of women and the power of love and forgiveness. Some people’s lives aren’t as perfect as they seem from a distance. In The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins, Rachel takes the same commuter train every morning and watches the same couple each day from her window. Every day she imagines their perfect life in their perfect house, until one day she sees something shocking happen as her train passes by. Fasten your seatbelts for a breakneck thriller impossible to put down. This addictive read will delight fans of Gone Girl. Now a major motion picture starring Matt Damon, The Martian by Andy Weir tells the ruthless tale of Mark Watney, one of the first astronauts to walk on Mars. After a storm forces his crew to evacuate the planet, believing him to be dead, Watney must use every last ounce of his resourcefulness in order to survive. This novel offers an amazing look at the power of a scientific mind and the will to live in the face of terrible odds. The latest installment from beloved blogger, bestselling author, and Food Network star Ree Drummond is The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Dinnertime: Comfort Classics, Freezer Food, 16-Minute Meals, and

Other Delicious Ways to Solve Supper. The cookbook includes 125+ step-by-step recipes for dinners aimed at pleasing the whole family. It’s dished up with beautiful photos and the charming humor that makes Drummond so popular with women and moms everywhere. Fans of Unbroken will find a new reallife story to love in The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the

1936 Berlin Olympics by Daniel James Brown. Brown tells the story of the 1936 eight-oar crew who were nothing more than sons of loggers, shipyard workers, and farmers, as they fought for an Olympic gold medal. The boys defeated elite rivals first from eastern and British universities, and then finally the German crew rowing for Adolf Hitler in the Olympic games in Berlin, 1936. The book is now a #1 New York Times bestseller.

Cara is mom to fraternal twin girls and a singleton boy. She is the author of the e-book Twinthusiasm: Survival Lessons for Your First Year Parenting Twins, a handy guidebook for new twin parents. She is a graduate of the University of Notre Dame.

top baby names...

for twins

Still searching for cute names for your duo? Coming up with one name isn’t easy, but coming up with two is near impossible! Twin parents are certainly creative and love alliteration. With these top names, we hope you’ll find a little inspiration to help you out! boy/girl sets madison & mason olivia & owen emma & ethan ava & jack logan & landon chloe & conner addison & austin emma & andrew sophia & samuel isabella & isaac morgan & mason zoey & zachary

boy sets parker & porter jayden & jaylen taylor & tyler hayden & hunter daniel & david jacob & joshua logan & luke nathan & noah garrett & gavin alex & nick ethan & evan jayden & kayden

girl sets savannah & sienna addison & avery harper & hailey charlotte & chloe olivia & sophia ella & emma faith & hope ava & ella reagan & riley london & paris emma & olivia gabriella & isabella

*as compiled by laughingmommy.com & the stir

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saying goodbye: leaving a part behind by grant stevens

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For the past 18 years, my brother and I have been very close. We’ve been in the same classes ever since we were in preschool. We have played on the same sports teams, got the same presents, made the same grades in school; there wasn’t much of a difference between us. Yet, with all of this “closeness” and “sameness”, as we’ve grown older, I’ve found that we have grown farther and farther apart and have become a lot more individual. I guess that’s the way it should be and only natural with any set of twins. When we were much younger, we always dressed the same and acted the same. We went everywhere together and never left each other’s side. Growing up with a twin is much different then growing up with any other sibling. For good or bad, it pushed us to make ourselves better and made us extremely competitive people. We could literally have a competition about anything and everything possible; one is always trying to outdo the other. Getting older and growing up can be difficult for any kid. Some kids find it difficult to fit in and make new friends. Thankfully, my brother and I have never had that problem. We never had to worry about fitting in or finding friends because we always had someone with us; we always had each other. It no longer bothers me, but when I was younger, I hated to be alone

There’s just something to be said about that natural dependence twins have of each other, even when they are older and separated. They don’t realize how much they relied on the other for security and support until that “other” is no longer there. at any point in time no matter what I was doing. If we went to a sporting event, I hated walking in by myself or even getting up to go to the bathroom. There’s just something to be said about that natural dependence twins have of each other, even when they are older and separated. They don’t realize how much they relied on the other for security and support until that “other” is no longer there. I think that having a twin growing up has made me the competitive person I am today, as I think it has helped me excel in everything. There was always someone to gauge my success against. If he was doing well at a sport or even in a class, it pushed me that much harder to try to excel or even do better. High school was the first time in our lives that we were ever separated for classes. Until then, we were always in the same classes, had the same friends, and basically were one person. In high school, we started to really make a way for ourselves; we have had different classes, started to hang out with different friends and weren’t around each other as much. It seems crazy that it took so long to find and embrace our independence.

As we have entered our last year of high school, we are heading towards graduation and college, going off on our own. There will be many changes and challenges we’ll both face in the near future, but I finally feel like it won’t be difficult to be away from him. I guess I’ve grown up. In fact, we both have. In the past, there was no way I would have ever been comfortable being separated from him, but we have embraced ourselves as individuals, have developed our own personalities, and interests, and have seen that we can each do it on our own. I hope our parents are proud of what we’ve accomplished. I feel like being separated from your twin for the first time can be difficult for some people, but I think that since we started to branch off on our own over the past few years, it won’t be as difficult. Saying goodbye will certainly be hard, but we both know we can do it and that no matter where we go, we’ll always have each other. A lot of people say that they would hate growing up with a twin. It has definitely made me who I am today and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Grant Stevens is a twin with a younger brother, too. He is a graduating senior, works a part-time job, loves spending time with his girlfriend, and enjoys playing soccer and baseball, which he’s played all his life. He plans to attend a local college, going into the Engineering field. multiplicity

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the buzz...for winter

left to right: baby pibu’s skincare line is perfect for dry, winter months; fashionable diaper clutch when you don’t need an entire bag by baby bella maya; car seat cover for fashion and comfort by baby bella maya; comfy asymmetrical sweater by cupshe; roasted butternut squash bacon soup --- need we say more?; bogs for fun in the snow by tiny soles; journal by swoozie’s for saving all of your precious thoughts; floral maternity dress; fuzzy socks for keeping tootsies warm! 52

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five minute fix: winter whiteout by traci zeller

Brrrrrr! The chill of winter has set in, and my twins have their fingers and toes crossed that we get a snow day soon. Not everyone finds “the white stuff” reason to celebrate, however, there’s one place I’m always happy to see the color white – and that’s in the homes I decorate! Did you scoff? White is a color! Benjamin Moore Paint recently named “Simply White,” 2143-70, its 2016 Color of the Year. Why? Because white is crisp and fresh…and lets bright colors shine! One of my favorite ways to add white to a design scheme is by using white linens. Everyone loves the look and feel of freshly laundered white sheets and it gives you the look of

a boutique hotel. I often use white coverlets as well, because they layer effortlessly with other bedding. How about a fluffy white duvet cover folded at the bottom of the bed? Don’t be scared; white is much more family-friendly than you think. Thanks to the wonders of bleach, it’s far easier to get stains out of a washable white fabric than a multi-colored pattern. Best of all? White linens are readily available at all price points. Mixing and matching with white couldn’t be easier, so don’t forget to check stores like Marshall’s and HomeGoods for high-end brands at closeout prices. It won’t matter that you can’t buy the entire set!

In this cheerful bedroom for a lucky girl, I used the color white in the linens, the mirror, the chandelier and the lamps. The repetition makes my color choices feel intentional, and the white elements serve as a fantastic backdrop for the turquoise bed and lime green bedside table. Even the patterned duvet cover, sheets and pillows have a white background. I added turquoise trim to the lampshades for definition, and the shadowing created by the IKEA chandelier lends a certain texture. The overall effect is happy but calm, which is exactly how I want my children to feel in their rooms and especially at bedtime. Now that’s the kind of whiteout I like to see in the forecast!

Traci Zeller is an interior designer known for her clean, sophisticated mix of classic and modern pieces. As a busy wife and mother to twin boys, she appreciates the need for spaces that are beautiful and functional. Traci also authors a blog, and her firm, Traci Zeller Designs, provides full service design, textiles, and e-decorating packages. 54

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contd. - tough love

I’ve melted.

Where does this line of thinking lead our children and how will it impact their style of discipline for their own children?

I’ve had calm conversations.

During the process of this article, I spoke to about 50 different parents and read many articles on the subject. I’ve found that the majority of those parents still believe in spanking, (not beating), but a firm spank on the bum. Interestingly, I also learned that many of them are afraid to discipline in public because of the back lashes or looks of judgment they receive or perceive they will receive. When did this culture shift take place? Discipline is not a bad word or a bad thing and society should applaud parents who correct and encourage their children to do right. The other big thing I noticed was that the majority who yell and spank have many kids, not just one. I have four kids. I would love nothing more than to teach my children to be calm and kind through my modeling. However, as a mother of four, it is impossible at times. In fact, as a mother in general, it can be downright impossible on even the best of days, with just two at a time. Can you relate? I’ve broken down.

I’ve spanked. I’ve used positive reinforcement. I’ve let them make their choices. I’ve caved to whatever it is they wanted at that point in time. I’ve had to rip apart two kids trying to kill each other. I’ve had to scream until my throat was sore, just to be heard over the crying babies and fighting kids. I know I’m not alone in any of those experiences. Thankfully, the lesser happen less frequently than the more positive ones. There was a time that I was scared of being a parent --scared to reprimand my children in public for how others might perceive my methods of instruction and discipline. Quickly, my kids caught on to that notion and pushed their boundaries (as many do and will). They knew mommy wouldn’t yell in front of others, and certainly wouldn’t spank. It was then, along with watching my students, that I realized I don’t want them to grow up being self-indulged brats. I’m a confident mom. I know what works best (for the most part) with each of my kids, and I try my hardest to punish with compassion, kindness and consistency.

One mom I spoke to really nailed it. She mentioned that her pediatrician once gave her sound advice in the area of disciplining her kids and it resonated with me. “Remember that 2 year olds need 2 year old punishments and 15 year olds need 15 year old punishments. That our children are children and not adults and don’t need the same privileges as adults, nor do they run the household.” If we follow these basic rules, our children will learn respect, better understand boundaries, expect that every choice has a consequence, and they will follow through with expectations once again. Of course, being on the same page with your partner or whoever is involved in the child’s or children’s care is crucial. Also, just like with any relationship, communication and consistency is such a huge overall theme in raising positive, well-balanced children who know what is expected of them and follow through appropriately. At the end of every day, I might not feel proud of the choices I made in my parenting. Yet, I do know that every day the love I give and show my girls outweighs the negative tenfold. If their behavior tells a different story (which can sometimes be the case!), it certainly won’t be for lack of trying!

Kerry share her life on her blog which gives a peek at her life as a mother of six year old fraternal AND one year old identical twin girls! She teaches part-time at the local community college and runs Mommies of Multiples on Facebook (a group dedicated to helping moms of multiples with their daily questions and concerns). Her blog is about life with twins, dealing with infertility, raising awareness for bully prevention, and the challenges of having a daughter with a severe intolerance to dairy. She is also the Brand Ambassador/ Senior Spokesman of the Twingaroo twin carrier - the first and only ergonomic twin carrier that features a built-in diaper bag! multiplicity

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multiplicity tips to finish the school year

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strong

The holidays are over and those first few weeks back to school are tough for most. For many around the country, it’s dark and its cold in the mornings, and older students will soon be gearing up for their national standardized tests. All of these factors may have your kids less than thrilled to finish the year strong, but here are a few tips to help them give their best! *get back on the schedule This could refer to structured bedtimes, ensuring the kids are getting enough sleep, to doing homework at the designated time, eating dinner at a normal time, and rounding out the day with all of the proven routines to help them get to sleep (i.e. bath, stories, etc.). *fuel them for success Not only should your kids be eating a healthy breakfast, but they should have some 56

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healthy snack options, too. For breakfast, think things like oatmeal and yogurt or waffles and pancakes with fruit or pure maple syrup. For snacks, they need things that will keep their energy levels up which will help their focus and attention. Opt for snacks like fruit or raw veggies with dip, hard boiled eggs, nuts like cashews and almonds, protein or healthier granola bars, and even healthy smoothies if at home to make/ offer them. *hold them accountable If you have older children, keep encouraging them to give their best and check their homework before they put it away. This doesn’t mean their answers must be right, but that they gave it their best effort if it was an area of struggle (i.e. many teachers would rather see it wrong than a parent have their child fix it so they can work with the student on those areas).

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*get them help if/when they need it If it seems your child is struggling in an area and you can’t help, see if the school offers before or after school tutoring. Explain that we are all really good at some things, while some of us need a little help in other areas. Needing help to improve doesn’t make you stupid, it makes you mature in taking responsibility for your achievement and success. *create channels for communication One solid way to know if your student ever needs help is to always make yourself available to talk. Sometimes they only need to talk it through with someone else to realize they can do whatever they may have trouble with. Open communication creates partnerships and helps each understand how they can help and how they depend on each other in a number of ways.

*give them something to look forward to Think of ways you can treat them when they meet certain milestones (i.e. when they read “x” number of books, score “x”% on a quiz or test, etc.). Mind you, it doesn’t have to be expensive gifts or food, and in fact, it shouldn’t be food at all. Rewarding with sugary treats and food could lead to weight and self-esteem issues on down the road. Consider rewards like gift cards to an arcade, a special outing, or even a trip to the bookstore for a favorite book.

read, setting a time to study on math each night, or even setting a goal on the specific grade that they want to make on a project or can achieve in a subject matter, etc. *consider a field trip There’s nothing like making their learned experiences real. If you know your students are studying something that you can show them in the real world, think about treating them to the experience. For example, studying colonial times is well illustrated with a trip to Williamsburg, VA where

*enforce homework long before bedtime Offering your kids a snack and some down time (i.e. playing outside, reading, video games, and just plain old conversation), and then having them get started on their homework helps spare them late night anxiety. Obviously, this saves them from the infamous time-crunch and procrastication that could result in bad study habits as they get older. If your child is saving homework for after dinner when it’s closer to bedtime, they’re much more likely to have trouble sleeping due to an active mind and possibly even anxiety over any struggles they had with their assignments. The sooner they can complete their homework, the quicker they can enjoy the rest of the evening doing the things they like best.

they can see firsthand the trades they worked and how they lived during war times. If they are studying space, see if your local museum has a planetarium for exploring more about the planet and solar system. Learning about the ocean? Consider a trip to an aquarium where you and your kids can learn more about the animals and habitats of the sea. It’s these types of experiences that enrich their learning at school, making the concepts come alive for them.

*help them create a plan We all know that kids often respond better when they think a plan is “their” idea. Encourage your students to come up with a list of 3-5 ways they can finish the year strong and hold them to it. This could be as simple as setting a goal for the number of books

*teach them forgiveness It’s important for your kids to know we all make mistakes. That is exactly why pencils have erasers! Instead of dwelling on what they did wrong or incorrectly, (or what they may not have done at all, sorry, I digress!), encourage them to

own it, fix it and move on. Help them understand that the quality of their work reflects directly on them and that the expectation of their teachers and you is that they do his or her best, regardless of what that looks like. Perhaps they should study more efficiently or for longer periods of time, or even find other tools to help them succeed. Use technology to your advantage to help your kids better understand the concepts with which they struggle. Without forgiveness, your student may lack the motivation to improve.

reflection is what helps us understand how we got here and how to move forward, overcoming new obstacles and setting and crushing that next goal.

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*teach them the art and importance of reflection Even if they never hit that wall of frustration, show them how important it is to sit back and look at all the things they’ve achieved. Being a student these days is no easy task. So many kids are in school for upwards of 8 hours...that’s like a full-time job! Teach your kids to appreciate all of their time, hard work and effort that it took to achieve “x” goal or to make that grade. After all, for many of us, reflection is what helps us understand how we got here and how to move forward, overcoming new obstacles and setting and crushing that next goal. Don’t just let the rest of the year slide by. Use these tips to help your students make it the best year yet!

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give yourself permission to grieve... by nicole hastings

“Uh-oh! A forest! A big, dark forest. We can’t go over it. We can’t go under it. Oh, no! We’ve got to go through it.” - Going on a Bear Hunt, Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury That’s what grief feels like, right? A big, dark forest looming ahead of us? We live in a culture where we’re able to ‘Like’ and ‘Unfollow’ with the push of a button, and even have a multitude of apps and voice commands that make our lives easier. Google can give us the answers in a fraction of a second, and GPS can tell us how to get where we’re going and give us the fastest routes possible, even if it’s clear across the country. In today’s culture, grief and all that comes with it is sort of treated like a primitive, archaic notion—something we don’t have time for, so can’t there just 58

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be a shortcut? A way around it, over it or under it? Can we just ignore it or unfriend it? I’m no expert in biology, physiology, sociology or psychology, so I can’t explain to you all the fancy terminology and concepts that have been studied around grief, but I can tell you with certainty that there are no shortcuts when it comes to grief. I am, however, somewhat of an expert in grief-avoidance and it nearly destroyed me. I hope my experience can encourage you, especially if you are a

grieving parent. I encourage you to acknowledge and befriend grief, and give yourself permission to mourn. When my husband passed away from cancer at age 34, I became a 28-year-old widow with two-year old twins and a two-week old baby. Believe me when I say the forests of grief were a terrifying thing and something I honestly didn’t have the energy or wherewithal to attempt to enter. So I just camped myself and my children out on the edge of that foreboding forest and…survived. For a whole

I buried my sorrow and showed no outward expression of my grief. I had no access to support sources to help me figure out what I was supposed to do with myself...it was too exhausting.

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year, we simply went through the motions of surviving. I had to put myself on hold to grasp any kind of familiarity and normalcy in my family while caring for a newborn and twin toddlers, so I buried my sorrow and showed no outward expression of my grief, which is defined as mourning. I had no access to knowledgeable support sources to help me figure out what I was supposed to do with myself and my grief, and no personal time to figure it out. I had no income, so trying to get to counseling was like playing a game of chess by myself. Trying to figure out how to pay a babysitter so I could go to counseling, and trying to coordinate and schedule counseling sessions around the daily needs of my children was too exhausting. So I just didn’t do it. Grief support groups were either too late in the day, or too far, or not relatable. One might say, “So should I only do grief work if it’s easy?” No. Grief is hard, exhausting work anywhere you are in life. Practically, as parents of young children we all know that scheduling ANY time for yourself, even taking a shower or peeing alone can present a challenge under the best circumstance, so parents who are grieving with young children are presented with an added stress—how can I grieve when so many people need me? Every loss is unique and different, but hopefully I can help shed light on the need to grieve and mourn. These tips brought about

from my own experience may make dealing with loss and parenting at the same time a little more feasible, and less overwhelming: DON’T isolate yourself and try to go it alone. A few months after my initial loss, I stopped asking for help because I felt like my “grieving time was up.” Being a naturally stubborn and independent person, I figured that it might be bothersome to others if I confessed how much I was struggling and how much help I really needed, but was not receiving. It was innocently assumed by people, perhaps, that I was “doing better” because I got up, dressed and fed my kids and got through each day, but I was in no way “doing better.” I felt like it was too late to ask for help or talk about my struggles, so I isolated myself and sunk into a deep, deep depression which left no energy to grieve and no energy for a proactive, blossoming relationship with my growing kids. Bottom line is, if you try to do it alone, you will burn out and that’s not helpful in your healing or the kids’ heightened needs. DO give yourself the humility, strength and permission to continue to ask for help. Even though it’s been two years after the death of my husband, I still need help, and that’s a normal thing to need with a two-yearold and two four-year-olds. With the price of childcare, lack of income and still needing to keep it all together, any mom or dad who could do it with no sweat, they’d be my hero… but he or she would remain fictional, because it’s not multiplicity

possible. It takes a village to raise kids; it takes an army to raise kids by yourself, while also trying to tackle the wild beast of grief. Don’t assume for others if they will or will not be willing to help. There may be many who can’t help, but through reaching out and being willing to honestly ask, there is ALWAYS someone who will find a way to meet your day-to-day needs. It may take some searching and some time, but they’re out there. No one can take away the pain, confusion, trauma, and many waves that hit you in your grief journey, but people can help practically by watching the kids once a month, grabbing something at the grocery store, shovelling your walk, fixing minor things on your car, researching affordable counseling or childcare for you, and the list goes on. DON’T forego taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. Coming from one who did all of the above, I can tell you that avoiding going to the doctor for check-ups, seeking a counselor, or other self-care basics like eating and sleeping, is a huge detriment. Because I didn’t or couldn’t do any of the above for so long, I suffered chronic illness, insomnia, terrible depression and anxiety attacks, and put so much stress on myself that I battled with adrenal fatigue. I landed myself in the hospital twice due to exhaustion and have had to pay for sitters many days because of my being sick and burnt out. DO invest in yourself. It’s time and money well spent. Believe me, I know that even the thought of getting out of

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bed and taking a shower can seem totally unreachable in the midst of grief, but I found that I would talk myself out of doing almost anything for myself because: I couldn’t afford it, I didn’t have time, the kids needed me home, and I couldn’t be away from them. With this mindset, I was digging myself into a bad place. Investing in yourself doesn’t have to include taking a two-week vacation (wouldn’t that be nice!), or spending loads of money on counselors (with a little research there are affordable ones, even some that are free). Whether it’s getting an annual physical, a 20-minute bath, or foregoing a toy or brand name food item for the kids so I can get a massage once a month, reaps huge healing benefits—for my kids and me. In no way am I saying that any of this will make your grief easier, but it will help your body handle the stress of grief better. Take the time; it will give back to you in return.

front of my children, even if it’s the fall-to-the-floor ugly cry. If I need to look at photos, I look at them with the kids. If I need to listen to my husband’s voice, they hear, too. If I need to be angry, they see that, as well. They get concerned, they cry too. They get angry, nervous and anxious, but I’m giving them a gift that will last for the rest of their lives—the gift of being able to outwardly express the emotions that come with loss, that it’s alright to feel and acknowledge it.

DON’T try to protect your children from your grief. For a long time I tried to separate my grief from my role as a mother. I’d find tiny moments to “let it out” until eventually it was dammed up with apathy because there were so few moments to schedule my grief. Shutting my children off from my grief was doing a disservice to them, because they couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did and they had no example of how to grieve. This is something children desperately need to be encouraged to do.

DON’T be afraid of grief. You’ve already met your worst fear—losing something precious in your life that you didn’t think you could live without. Now you have to actually acknowledge it? Forget it! It’s terrifying and exhausting, so just move on, right? Wrong!

DO grieve with your children and be transparent with them. If I need to cry, I cry in 60

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Sure there are private moments that I need to be by myself, but by allowing myself to grieve with my children, the process has opened my eyes to a beautiful exchange. I’ve found my children are more in tune to grief and mourning than even I am. They can become your teachers on the subject if you let them. *If you find yourself escaping from grief with alcohol or drugs, please seek help from a professional to help you work through those things.

DO ignore well-meaning advice and your own selftalk and embrace grief. You may find yourself or others trying to give you a lot of “chin-up” advice: “Well, at least you still have [fill in the blank with something good in your life]” or “The best you can do is move on and try not to remember,” or “Just stay

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busy and keep your mind off things, it’s best not to go there…” While made with good intentions, all of these perceptions sabotage healing. Grief is a natural, innate process that, whether we like it or not, we all will have to go through. Our body knows to slow down and gives us many signals to do so, but our minds can impede the natural, albeit painful, process. Know you will never “move on” or “get over it” or forget your loved one, but by embracing it as a gift, loss is slowly transformed into something meaningful that you don’t want to remember. Grief can be carried through the rest of your life’s journey with dignity and honor. DON’T dwell on the linear timeline of grief. It doesn’t exist. I often found myself saying, “Once it’s been a year, things will get better,” or “After this milestone, or anniversary, it won’t hurt as much the next time around.” I was trying to make grief chronological. I’ve come to accept that you can’t put a time limit on grief. DO mourn as much as you need to, no matter how much time has passed. Grief is a friend that will hang around for the rest of your life. Grief is an internal response to loss; mourning is external according to grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt of The Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado. For example, putting flowers next to the gravesite, is mourning. It took two years of me walking past all of my husband’s

giv[e] them a gift that will last for the rest of their lives --- the gift of being able to outwardly express the emotions that come with loss, and the understanding that it’s alright to feel and acknowledge it.

clothing and things before I could attempt to even look at it. I even went through and removed all the photos of him. In my mind, I didn’t want the glaring reminder that he was ripped away from me. Through the incredibly hard work I’ve done in seeking out counsel from authors, counselors and teachers, I embrace mourning because I know it will heal a wound that was refusing to mend itself. Even though it’s been two years, I’m planning a life celebration party for my husband’s birthday because at the time he died, I had no

clarity in how to plan the type of memorial service that I would have wanted. The photos are back up and I’m working on repurposing his things as special tokens of his life for my children. If it’s been a year or ten years, there’s always time to celebrate your loved one’s life. Grief is like a dark forest, but in finding the courage to enter it, you will find its wilderness protects and shelters you until you reach the other side. I encourage you to take the first step and enter the forest; you can’t go over it, you can’t go under it. You’ve got to go through it.

Nicole is a writer, a speaker and a widowed mom. She tells her story to advocate the gift of grief and inspire hope through tragedy and loss. She writes a blog called “Just a Mom” and aspires to create a space to give people permission to grieve, to hope and to be. She lives in Colorado with her four-year old twin boys and two year old daughter.

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from bliss to circus:

how life changes after babies come along

by amanda nethero 62

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here are essentially two things in life for which we can never be truly prepared: TWINS. ~Josh Billings 63

My husband Scott and I were married for just over a year when we found out we were pregnant. We were over the moon and blissfully happy that we would be having our first child. I vividly remember the drive to my OB’s office for our first appointment. It was filled with talk of how to decorate the nursery, when we would have a brother or sister for this baby. We had no idea what was about to happen in that exam room. The initial exam was perfect. My doctor was just as excited as we were. We headed into the ultrasound room and could not wait to see our baby. Then our doctor said, “Oh, wait, what is that?” My heart sank, I just knew something was wrong and held my breath until she said, “Oh, it’s two!” Two? What did she mean? Two what? Surely not two babies...twins. Scott almost hit the floor and I laughed (and then cried). Two? Two babies?!? Oh my God! We need a new car, a bigger house, new everything!

pains, moments of sheer bliss, fear, and naturally, anxiety. It was a hormone-fueled rollercoaster to say the least. Thankfully, Scott was fantastic during the entire process. I had the most specific food cravings of anyone I know. For a few weeks I wanted nothing but lattice-topped apple pie with sliced, not diced, apples. One night Scott went to four different stores to locate that pie. Four. The man is a saint. I also had an addiction to every baby show on TLC (any others share my addiction?). I would call Scott

I make it a priority to schedule time for me. I either read at lunch or go to the gym after work, just to clear my head. Some weeks, it is not easy to get that time in, but the difference is noticeable. If I have my wits about me, homework time is less stressful for all of us.

My twins are almost eight and we are fairly unscathed from the circus atmosphere that has encircled us for the past near decade. I want to share with you some of my survival tips for the first few years to help you understant that you can wrangle this crazy parenting journey with multiples! Tip #1: Embrace the crazy. My pregnancy was filled with sickness, hospital visits for rehydrating, aches/ 64

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on an almost hourly basis to tell him that I was convinced something was wrong with the babies because on A Baby Story, I saw this, that and the next thing. He ratted me out to my doctor and I was banned from watching any show remotely close to that during the remainder of my pregnancy. However, I quickly found a new addiction… Snapped. Jokes on you, babe. Tip #2: Document the crazy. Settling in to twin parenthood was quite an adjustment. We were sleep deprived and just trying to keep our heads above water 90% of the time. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home, but trust me...it was no vacation. My days were spent doing what seemed like a constant rotation of feeding, changing, and laundering. If I hadn’t stopped to take photos during those first few months, I honestly would not remember the details from them. Invest in a decent camera and snap as many photos of your kids as you can, even the not so good moments. You will look back on them one day and laugh, I promise. My kids covered themselves in Desitin one day when they were supposed to be napping. After a quick call to Poison Control, (in case you were wondering, the worst that can happen if a child ingests Destin is that they will get diarrhea, which then requires more Desitin.

Yeah.), I snapped a photo of the aftermath. It was not funny in the moment, but now it’s hilarious and I hope to God it happens to them when they become parents a really long time from now. Tip #3: When faced with a crazy illness, be prepared for round two (or three). My children have a knack for catching the weirdest things. They can never just catch a common cold; it’s always a common cold with a special bonus package of something. When they were really little, they caught a virus that caused them to spike insanely high fevers. Aaron was the first to catch this and it was my first experience with febrile seizures. The image of his convulsing and turning blue around his mouth is something that will stick with me for the rest of my life, but it prepared me for round two with Jill. The very next day she had a febrile seizure of her own and I was better equipped to handle the situation. Always keep a well-stocked first aid station in your house that includes plenty of fever reducers. The last thing you want to do when you have sick multiples is run to the store. Tip #4: Reduce the crazy. Once my kiddos entered school, I was hoping for a decrease in the crazy around us. Boy, was I wrong. School is insane! Between the homework, learning how to do Common Core math, and the

activities associated with each child, I was constantly spinning in circles. It is an overwhelming process, but is completely manageable as long as you have a system in place. Maybe it’s because I can be Type A, but I found that making a color-coded calendar for our activities and then meal planning our dinners around those activities made life so much easier. I also make it a priority to schedule in some time for me, even if it’s on my lunch hour at work. I either read at lunch or go to the gym after work just to clear my head. Some weeks it is not easy to get that time in, but the difference is noticeable. If I have my wits about me, homework time is less stressful for all of us. Well, unless we are doing Common Core math. Tip #5: Love your crazy. Twin parenthood is one of the coolest experiences on the planet. It is never perfect and it can test the most solid of relationships, but in the end it is awesome. There are times I find myself at the end of a long day, getting ready for the next one, and it hits me. I am the luckiest gal on the planet. Cue something breaking or someone calling someone else a name and my bubble bursting. But it’s still fantastic. Embrace, document, prepare, reduce, and most importantly, love your crazy. I promise, the best is yet to come.

Amanda is a mother to fraternal twins and works as a marketing coordinator for a not-for-profit organization. When she is not running her twins to different activities, Amanda is an active runner and blogger. You can keep up with Amanda and her family at Twice the Love...Half the Sleep. multiplicity

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let us be your guide. Baby Gear Guide 2015 A unique resource to help parents thrive in their first few years with multiples, Multiplicity’s annual Baby Gear Guides showcase helpful products and information to make your life with a little easier. Subscribe today and see what you’ve been missing!

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The creator of the Twiniversity online resource delivers the definitive survival guide for all parents of multiples --- from pregnancy through the first year The rate of twin births has risen by 79% over the last three decades, and continues to grow. Expectant parents are overwhelmed with questions: do I really need two of everything? Can we do this ourselves or do we need help? Will I have to rob a bank to raise these babies without going broke? A twins mom herself and national guru on having two (or more!), Natalie Diaz launched Twiniversity, a supportive website with advice from the trenches. What to Do When Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Having Two covers: *making a Birth Plan checklist *sticking to one sleep schedule *double-duty breastfeeding *must-have gear *building one-on-one relationships with each child early Brimming with tried-and-true tips --- from the diaper budget to stroller sanity --- this is the must-have survival guide for parents of multiples. Natalie Diaz has been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, New York Family Magazine, and more. She was named one of the top 100 Social Media Moms on Twitter by Disney and has recently been nominated for a She Knows Parenting Award.

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the must-have magazine for all parents of multiples