TIMELESS Published Since April 2003
Vol. 9 No. 5
MAY 2011
300 NAIRA
Generation Y and how they are changing the world
Style
The Top “IT” Bags of 2011 Society
Tobacco...a breath-taking obsession... literally! Personality
Arugboojo- It’s sax to the max
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From the Editor-in-Chief The Cost of Excellence
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n Nigeria it is almost impossible not to lose your temper, not to get annoyed. It is only by the special grace of God that one manages to keep his shirt on. Pure divine intervention, period. I feel for anyone who does not know the true God at this end times. Why? Nigeria is a country that enjoys mediocrity, revels in stupidity and abides in substandard performance. Nigeria is a country so blessed; it should be swimming in an ocean but continues to paddle in a small pool, which if we are not careful will soon be shriveled to a waterless dry patch. I have never seen a collection of people who have no appreciation for excellence and high standards as Nigerians. Sure, we all know what is good, we all want to live in fine houses, drive excellent cars, wear the best clothes and throw the best parties, yet deep down we abhor this excellence so much, we are never ready to do the real work that will achieve it. Nigerians love to manage, everyone wants to make do, cut corners, and take the short cut. Nigerians all love a bargain, something for nothing, never wanting to pay the price. Nigerians love to compromise, sacrifice quality on the altar of price, not wanting anything to last, or work. We love to build and not maintain. It is the average Nigerian that wants a well paying job with no extra working hours, and a lot of time off, plus foreign travel and all other benefits. It is the average Nigerian that truly believes that he is doing his job and employer a favour. It is the average Nigerian that wants to be tipped or bribed for doing what he is already paid to do. It is the average Nigerian that does not believe anything can work normally, that things that are taken for granted in other countries cannot work in Nigeria. It is the average Nigerian that always cheats on his employer, compromises the quality of his work and consequently cheats himself.
The average Nigerian has very little or no pride in his job, no matter how well paid; he derives very little or no satisfaction from doing his job well. He has no happiness from an excellent environment. He compromises everything from the door knob of his office to the boot of his car. His mechanic has managed everything that is manageable on the car, nothing works or lasts. Take his personal behaviour, he has no love for excellence in what he wears, the way he behaves, how he eats, what he says, how he conducts himself, what he does. What about the home? Nigerians have no excellence in the home. From the design, to construction, to the furnishing, to the inhabitation, to everything, everything is compromised. Nigerians have a love for building a large house in Victoria Island, but will compromise on the type of sand, on the wood, on the finishing. Nigerians want the whole house fully air-conditioned but will compromise on the make and quality of the air-conditioner. Any wonder most things break down? Nigerians have this elaborate opening ceremony and have a house warming party only for them to be unable to maintain the house two years down the line? What about excellence in the office and work place? This is perhaps the most glaring! Nigerians spend a bomb redecorating the office, yet they cannot pay their staff well. When things breakdown, they cannot be repaired. Nigerians always compromise and settle for less, when they can get the best. We compromise on the quality of the work, doing much less for much more. We finish a letter and use hours to make corrections on it. Nigerians never give a full day’s work for a full day’s pay. We are always managing, managing, managing; consequently, we are never satisfied and are usually grumbling. What about in staffing? We always manage and settle for the mediocre people and the ones that are marginally good think they are worth their weight in gold.
tries like Japan, Singapore, USA, South Korea and Germany manage? How do they make things work? Are they not run by people, human beings? Are the repairs and maintenance not done by people with flesh and blood? I have strived so much for excellence. I found however that because I live and work with Nigerians, it is virtually impossible and where minutely possible, they make it so expensive. For small problems that any concerned person can solve, for small repairs that can be easily done, everyone folds their arms and say it is impossible, it cannot be done, let us compromise, it cannot be achieved, it is not affordable. There is need for excellence in Nigeria. If we don’t change, the cost of excellence will cost us our nation.
Ituah Ighodalo
What about excellence in the nation? What works in Nigeria? NEPA or PHCN? No. NITEL? Dead. The hospitals? Only a miracle! The Airport? A bedlam! The Railways? A joke! Water for all? A dream. The Universities? No teachers, unwilling students. Government parastatals - a source of milking the economy? No excellence anywhere. How do coun-
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Contents Society
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Vol. 9 No. 1
JANUARY 2011
EDITORIAL
300 NAIRA
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF/CEO
Ituah Ighodalo EDITOR
Ayodeji Jeremiah
...for the New Year As Selected by You - Our Readers
1. UNILAG Bookshop, Akoka 2. Edysyl Bookshops, Jibowu Str, Yaba & Kodesho Str, Ikeja 3. Royal Dividends Store 4. Iman Cosmetics, Awolowo Road, Ikoyi 5. Total Filling Station, Awolowo Rd, Ikoyi 6. Media Store RCCG Christ Church, Gbagada 7. MM1 & MM2 Local Airport 8. CCD Stores, Ogudu 9. Pharm Affairs, Ogudu 10. Cheeses Stores, Ogudu 11. Terra Kulture, Tiamuyi Savage, V.I
Culture A Dissection of Chimamanda’s “The Thing Around your Neck at Farafina Book Review Style The Coolest Watches Money can Buy Society “My Vagina is Embarrasing...”
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MISSION STATEMENT To establish a well Structured, Educative and Informative Newsmagazine based on Sound Moral Values; providing Honest, Unbiased Reportage in Fairness to all.
SEPTEMBER 2010 TIMELESS
Editorial
Girl-child education as antidote to maternalcum-infant mortality and other such ills
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he statistics are shameful enough in the stark and dire message they bear: 42% of girls in developing countries – including Nigeria – are not enrolled in school. Closer home is the one just released by UNESCO, in March, that women in northern Nigeria (specifically Hausa women) are the least educated on earth, with a whopping 97% of them, ages 17 to 22, having completed, in all, less than two years of schooling. It shouldn’t be surprising that this state of affair is in direct correlation with prevalent infant and maternal mortality rates in these places, where they continue unabated at unacceptably high levels. While maternal mortality figures vary widely by source, and are highly controversial, best estimates suggest that approximately 54,000 women and girls die each year due to pregnancy-related complications; another 1,080,000 to 1,620,000 Nigerian women and girls suffer from disabilities caused by complications during pregnancy and childbirth each year. Infant mortality rate – the other side of the coin – that was 71.35% in 2003 had by 2011 degenerated to 91.54%. High rates of maternal deaths occur in the same countries that have high rates of infant mortality, reflecting generally poor nutrition and medical care. Maternal mortality ratio is highest in Africa, estimated at an average of 800 deaths per 100 000 live births. In Nigeria it is estimated at 1000 per 100, 000 live births, with wide regional disparities. Common causes of maternal death include bleeding, hypertensive diseases in pregnancy, obstructed labour, eclampsia, maternal infections and unsafe abortions. Eclampsia (risk factors are first pregnancy and multiple gestations) is the most common cause of maternal death especially in northern Nigeria, accounting for about 30% of all maternal deaths. In southern Nigeria, haemorrhage and unsafe abortions are the leading causes of maternal mortality. When eclampsia occurs after delivery, especially in Northern Nigeria, it may be associated with some harmful traditional practices like “hot bath” and the ingestion of Kunun kanwa (a local drink rich in potash). This brings us to the aphorism, which is often understated: When you educate a girl, you educate the next generation - and ensure change in all its ramifications, for all in society - accomplished in one mere generation. The present state of affairs, however, hinges on economic, cultural bias and gender discrimination that often exclude girls from educational opportunities in the developing world. Yet, it is widely acknowledged that educating girls is the most powerful and effective way to address global poverty—and the single best investment one can make. Although more than 180 national governments have pledged to achieve gender equality in education by 2015—with special focus on ensuring girls’ full and 6
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equal access to, and achievement in high quality, basic education (UNESCO, 2000), what remains to be seen is how a country like Nigeria intends to achieve this laudable goal. A number of the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) relate directly to such targets as the reduction of child mortality rates and the improvement of maternal health as well as the achievement of universal access to reproductive health, all by twothirds, all by 2015. Other targets for improvement are the contraceptive prevalence rate, adolescent birth rate, antenatal care coverage and the unmet need for family planning. What remains lacking, however, is a clear-cut MDGs implementation strategy. It goes without saying that when girls learn, their families, communities and societies all benefit. Educating girls has been directly linked to positive outcomes like: Lower infant mortality rates; increased eventual wages; increased likelihood of educating the next generation; improved family health; success in combating the spread of HIV/AIDS and other preventable diseases, and improvement of general socio-economic development. Despite these known benefits, girls are less likely than boys to attend school; and those girls fortunate enough to enrol are likely to drop out when transitioning from primary to secondary school. What is needed is an initiative to be enthusiastically pursued, with the vigour of private sector planning, for which incentives like tax rebates by government should be provided, to motivate, educate and empower girls by providing the support they need to enrol and remain in school. Such a programme would identify girls at risk of dropping out of school and ensure that they have the opportunity to complete secondary school, which should be the least acceptable minimum. The approach has to be long-term and holistic like the provision of material support (school fees, textbooks, uniforms, school supplies and transportation) as well as a range of supplementary activities (tutoring, life skills training, mentoring and medical check-ups) that contribute to the girls’ educational success. The programme officers would also have to work with parents, teachers, school administrators and community members to ensure each girl has a strong support system in place to enable her to thrive. Such a girl-child education programme must be specifically tailored and relevant to the community’s context and needs. Local teams and partners identify out-of-school girls and those who are most at risk of dropping out of school due to economic or cultural pressure. Some girls are selected individually to participate in the program, while in other cases we work with an entire classroom of girls in schools where the vast majority of them have been traditionally under-served. A viable girl-child education programme is the need of the hour, structured in such a way as to have an immediate and direct influence on the lives of thousands of girls all at once.
An education provides security and support to girls and enables them to make informed life decisions, both for themselves and their unborn children. Additionally, education is critical to improving the status of women – a boon which has proven to result in a ripple of positive effects throughout society, such as: Providing girls one extra year of education beyond the average boosts eventual wages by 10-20%; infant mortality decreases by 8% for each year a woman stays in school; in Africa, mothers who receive five years of primary education have children who are 40% more likely to live beyond age five; family health and nutrition rise in the home of an educated woman; multi-country data show educated mothers are about 50% more likely to immunize their children than are uneducated mothers; an educated woman has fewer children, so population growth is slowed in resource scarce countries; a 65-country analysis finds that doubling the proportion of women with a secondary education would reduce average fertility rates from 5.3 to 3.9 children per woman. Because the barriers to girls’ education and empowerment extend past household economic conditions and material costs, additional programme components must be designed to holistically support girls and create a more conducive and enabling learning environment for them. To reiterate, the educated girl-child, who gets pregnant as a ready woman, would know better: the course of pre-emptive action to take, both for herself and her unborn and newly born child so as not to end up among the pile of statistics. Most of these deaths have been medically preventable for decades, as treatments to avoid such deaths have been well-known for decades – something any woman educated as a girl-child would have grown up acquainted with. The standard to aspire to is Ireland, where the rate is 0 per 100,000. They prove what is attainable. Even the United States, with its maternal death rate of 11 per 100,000 live births (in 2005), and infant mortality rates of 6.3 and 7.8 under-five, isn’t good enough. In Nigeria, it is a shame that the infant mortality rate is a worryingly high 109.5; it even gets worse for under-five mortality: 187.5. We are just ahead of Niger: 110.8; 188.0. Meanwhile, corresponding figures for Malaysia are 8.9 and 11.3. Even better is the situation in what used to be a sister country, Singapore: 3.0 and 4.1, where girl-child education is of paramount importance and continues to be improved - to guarantee success by priming the mothers-to-be themselves to bear in mind to work to further reduce, and ultimately erase from the board, the ‘shameful numbers’.
Making our Democracy Work This book takes a look at the troutrou bled history of politics and democracy in Nigeria, stating needed principles that need to be in place and what we all need to do to make Nigeria’s democracy succeed. The book notes that given Nigeria’s di versity, it is obvious that democracy is the sole political choice for its survival, and the best system for managing the nation’s current challenges by fostering better governance, and ensuring popular welfare. Our responsibilities toward en suring a credible democratic process is that every living Nigerian wherever they are must hold themselves responsible for the outcome of the forthcoming elections. The author has no doubt that if we can follow the processes outlined in the book, Nigeria will indeed have an extra ordinary victory.
Believe and Command the Mornings This Devotional Guide of Trinity House will assist you in fulfilling your God ordained destiny this year and beyond. Its main focus are prayers, faith, breakthroughs, believer’s authority, relationship (with God and man), obedience, and service. To be a partaker of God’s showers of blessings, God is calling you into a higher ground of relationship. This devotional aids you in showing total commitment to God and in observing your time of daily personal praise and worship of Our Lord and Saviour. It is our hope that this devotional will really help you in your daily walk with God as you study and meditate.
Redemption of the First Born This book is for all firstborn chilchil dren, first born sons, for those who have first born brothers and sisters and for those who intend to have first born children. Children, particularly, the firstborn come under attacks by life, by society, amongst the family, brethren and even inadvertently from their parents and then of course from the enemy. There is also a lot of pressure, on the firstborn to live by example and to follow the example of the parents and do what exactly the parents wants the fellow to do. Also when attacks on the parents fail, those who are unable to get the parents tend to go after the children, especially the firstborn.
All three books (and a free copy of TIMELESS) are available for a combo package of One Thousand Five Hundred naira (N1, 500) including postage and delivery. Interested individuals and organisations are welcome as resellers at attractive commission rates. To book your copies or for resale opportunities, please call 01-4358330 or send your details (name, address, email, phone no) to 08026861642 (SMS Only)
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events
Pastor Ituah Ighodalo at 50 Tola Majolagbe
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he Senior Pastor of Trinity House recently turned 50 on 6th April 2011 and a special thanksgiving and celebration service was held for him on Sunday April 10 2011 at Trinity House, Landmark Village, Victoria Island. The event was largely attended and some of the guests at the event were Asue & Ify Ighodalo, Niyi & Angela Adebayo, Alibaba, Hope Davies, Sammy Okposo, Tee-A, Pastor Brett Johnson, Pastor Taiwo Odukoya, Chike & Funke Ogeah, Elder Felix & Mrs. Ohiwerei amongst others. There was a lot of presentation and guest appearances at the occasion. Ituah Ighodalo is the Editor-in-Chief of TIMELESS Magazine and also sits on the board of several innumerable charitable foundations and NGOs including the Courage Education Foundation, Eden’s Fields, Lydia Grace Foundation and Heritage Homes. He is happily married to Ibidun Ighodalo, the CEO of Elizabeth R, a leading event management company. 8
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events
One Man, One Vote Societal Awareness Programme
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he One Man, One Vote was a societal awareness program organized by Solomon’s Porch, the youth church of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, Wisdom City Parish, Surulere, Lagos aimed at enlightening youths about the need to participate in the electoral process and make their votes count. The programme held on Saturday March 26th 2011 at the Indoor Sports Hall, Teslim Balogun Stadium, Surulere, Lagos and had over 250 youths in attendance. The programme was a collaboration with the network of youth leaders in Surulere and non governmental organizations in the state. The event featured guest speakers such as Pastor (Mrs.) Ibukun Awosika, CEO, Sokoa Chair Centre; Pastor Kola Olutimehin, CEO, GetKola Consulting, Mr. Damilola Oluwatoyinbo, a youth leader and motivational speaker and Pastor (Mrs.) Adetola, Special Assistant to the General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God on Women Affairs. Guest artistes at the event included gospel hip hop sensation Rooftop MCs; Reo; the duo, De- Samists; Tosyn; the Priesthood, official choir of Solomon’s Porch and comedian, Emeka Smith as well as his friend, Ogodo.
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events
Goethe Institut Re-opens Tola Majolagbe
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he Goethe-Institut Nigeria re-opened at the Lagos City Hall after being homeless for a while since it moved from its former office on Ozumba Mbadiwe, Victoria Island.
The event which attracted the presence of notable dignitaries like the Consul General, German Embassy in Lagos, Walter L. Von den Driesch, renowned artist Dr. Bruce Onabrekpeya and Mrs. Ronke Ashaye saw great performances from many artistes including Jazz specialist, Chinaza who came all the way from Berlin, Orlando Julius and his group, Ade Bantu and his group and ageless Fatai Rolling Dollars who provided great and scintillating mix of what could be tagged ancient and modern lyrical compositions. In his address, Mr. Marc-André Schmachtel, Director Goethe-Institut Nigeria thanked all the friends of Goethe who kept faith with them during the years of inactivity. He described the new location as a nice place that is very central to all with good parking space. According to him “every location has its advantages and disadvantages and because we cannot carry out all the activities that we do in Ozumba Mbadiwe, we have provided a website through which people can reach out to us at all times.” He also disclosed that Nigeria and Germany have a lot in common pointing out that the re- opening of the place will help in cementing the existing relationship between the two countries. He also announced that Goethe Institut Nigeria will celebrate its 50th anniversary in Lagos next year. On her part, the Director of Sub – Saharan region of Goethe, Dr. Katharina Von Ruckteschell- Kate who was happy that Goethe has finally acquired a new home reiterated the mission of the Institut, which is to foster international dialogue between both countries and charged the new director to rise up to the challenges of meeting the demands of the Institut. An elated Walter L. Von den Driesch, the Consul General, German Embassy in Lagos stated that the Institut has achieved a very good reputation since its inception in 1962. He enumerated some of the achievements of the Institut as including the provision of opportunities for younger artists to perform, promotion of the study of German language abroad, provision of inter cultural exchange and a comprehensive picture of Germans in Nigeria. The Institut director took the guests on a tour of the newly refurbished Goethe located in the third floor of the building. Areas visited were the event hall where many art works were stocked, a newly refurbished library fully stocked with rich collections of cultural books of all kinds, the program department, the administration block, and the language department amongst others. A quiz competition was also held during the ceremony in which the winner won a free flight to Germany courtesy of the German airline Lufthansa. A lot of consolation prizes were also given out. The institute organises German cultural activities in Nigeria and promotes international cultural exchange between Germany and the host country. More than 800 students attend its intensive German course every year while the institute offers workshops and seminars for teachers of German as a foreign language in Nigerian universities and schools.
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Cover Feature
Generation Y
and how they are changing the world Ayodeji Jeremiah
M
ost of us have probably heard of the term ‘Baby Boomers’. Some of us will probably also have heard of the term ‘Generation X’ and ‘Generation Y’. These terms refer to cultural generations – groups of people born in the same date range who share similar cultural experiences. Auguste Comte, a French philosopher was the first person to make a serious attempt at studying generations in this context. He suggested that social change is determined by generational change. Karl Mannheim, a Jewish Hungarian sociologist also did seminal work in the study of generations. Mannheim emphasised that the rapidity of social change in youth was crucial to the formation of generations, and that not every generation would come to see itself as distinct. In periods of rapid social change a generation would be much more likely to develop a cohesive character, he concluded. He also believed that a number of distinct sub-generations could exist. Jose Ortega Gassett, a Spanish philosopher was another influential generational theorist of the 20th century. These along with American authors William Strauss and Neil Howe have been very influential in defining the concept of generations. Strauss and Howe’s book, ‘Generations: The History of America’s Future, 1584 to 2069’ is frequently cited in books and articles on the subject. While this concept of generations as we know it is very common and more popular amongst Americans; the study of its influence and importance cannot be overemphasised as it permeates to other societies overwhelmingly albeit with different outcomes and consequences.
Photograph by George Osodi
Since the advent of the ‘Baby Boomers’ (probably the most influential and largest generational group to date) no other generation has had as much impact on social, political, economic and religious change as much as the focus of this article, ‘the Gen Yers’ as they are also called.
Before we look at their influence however, it is important we know who they are. Doing that entails we know those before them. Experiences that occur during the formative childhood and teenage years create and define differences between the generations. These social markers create the paradigms through which the world is viewed and decisions are made. Baby Boomers were influenced by the advent of the TV, Rock and Roll, the Cold War, the Vietnam War, the threat of nuclear war, and the decimal currency. Gen Xers saw in the Personal Computer, AIDS, single parent families, the growth in multiculturalism, and the downsizing of companies. Generation Y’s have lived through the age of the internet, cable television, globalisation, September 11, and environmentalism. Such shared experiences during one’s youth unite and shape a generation. There is an ancient saying that bears much truth: “People resemble their times more than they resemble their parents”. The Baby Boomers refers to the generation of children born between 1946 after World War 2 and the early 1960s. Across the world, it was the largest demographic group (now being replaced presently as the largest by Generation Y). The name stems from the increase in birth rates seen across the world after the war due to increasing peace and prosperity. This group that grew up in a time of affluence came to define the 60s and 70s (just like the Gen Yers are now defining the 2000s). Generation X refers to those who were born between 1965 and mid to late 70s (1976-1979.) Many grew up as “latch key” kids, home alone after school while both of their parents worked, and/or they were raised by a single parent. They saw their parents married to the workplace,
often devoting long hours to factories, the office or on the road. Their parents sacrificed time at home with their families. This group is often perceived as the most ignored, underappreciated and overlooked of the more recent generations. It is also the smallest in number of all the generations. Their contributions were largely in the development of Internet and communications platforms, which the Gen Yers are now putting to use massively. Generation Y, the subject of our piece (also called Millennials, Generation Next or Echo Boomers) refers to those roughly born between 1980 and 2000 (the offspring of the famous baby boomers.) Characteristics of the generation vary by region, depending on social and economic conditions. However, it is generally marked by an increased use and familiarity with communications, media, and digital technologies. In most parts of the world its upbringing was marked by an increase in a neoliberal approach to politics and economics. Members of the group expect entertaining and fast-paced information and are assumed to be self-centred, demanding, and hard to integrate into teams. They are also more environmentally aware taking the initiative to go green as they now say at every opportunity. They are awash with choices, from buying an individual song on iTunes instead of a whole prepackaged album to not three major TV networks but 200-plus cable channels, covering a spectrum of interests. Rather than buying Wall Street Journal or New York Times (in the US) or the Guardian or Times (in the UK) or Thisday or Guardian (in Nigeria); they have access to hundreds of blogs and websites where they can get their news from. These set of people don’t have to memorise anything as all they have to do is ‘Google it’. How this will influence learning and knowledge remain subjects of various theses in colleges across the world.
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cover feature As they grow up, leave school and enter the workforce, they are becoming a force to be reckoned with. Also, as they become politically aware, they are leveraging their use of digital technology and the new social networks to force political changes as witnessed recently across North Africa and the Middle East. In a recent Newsweek survey, members of this group account for between 35% (and in some countries) as much as 60% of the population especially in Africa, the Middle East, India, and South America. These regions are political and economic hotbeds that are just experiencing an awakening. Economic growth in these regions are growing at an astonishing pace (between 4 and 10%) leaving the US, Western Europe and Japan in the dust but with only few of the populace enjoying the fruits of such growth. Even Nigeria is experiencing GDP growth of 7-8% compared with 2-4% for the US and most European countries. With access (sometimes restricted) to Facebook, Twitter, Google and YouTube, the Gen Yers in these regions are seeing their counterparts experience economic prosperity, being able to change their governments every four or five years, having unrestricted access to digital media and technologies and wondering why they too can’t experience the same. Not unlike most of their parents who took part in the political tumult of the 60s, they too are partaking directly and indirectly in changing political destinies across the world. While due to cultural differences across regions, a Gen Y in the US might not necessarily behave the same way as a Gen Y in Nigeria or the one in Nigeria might not necessarily behave the same way as one in China; most Gen Yers across the world however share similar traits and characteristics that are forcing changes in the way we conduct business, the way we market products, the way we advertise, the way we employ people, the way we conduct elections and even forcing legislations in some societies to favour erstwhile socially awkward and unacceptable behaviours. This same generation is also forcing changes even in the way we worship God. While most Gen Yers believe in ‘a God’, they view organised religion as a source of intolerance and a nuisance. While most pray and read religious manuals or books, they do not attend regular religious services and tend not to identify themselves with a particular religious group. Most will even describe themselves as ‘spiritual’ and not ‘religious’ to emphasize their stand as far as God is concerned. While churches in Europe are closing down, unable to cope with these changes, those in the US and Africa are using music, drama, the ‘mega church’ concept and community organising/work to keep members of this generation in church. Members of this group do not want to worship in your small town church, they like unconventional music and drama to go along with the sermon and they want their church to get involved in social mobilization and community work. Gen Yers also tend to be more liberal on issues of sex. Even in conservative societies like Africa’s, members of this group tend to frown less on homosexuality seeing sexual orientation not as a choice but more like age and sex, (things you don’t have a choice over). This has led to seismic shifts in the way homosexuality is viewed by society with laws now being made to legalise, cater for and protect so called same sex marriages. They also tend to have sex earlier being earlier exposed to the technicalities of sex and being also better informed. Despite their sexual awareness, they are also acutely aware of the dangers of AIDs and other STDs and take precautions concerning these.
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This group tends to be more peer oriented. The rise of instant communication technologies such as email, texting, and IM and new media through websites like YouTube and social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter, explains the Gen Yers reputation for being somewhat peer-oriented due to easier facilitation of communication through technology. This has also changed the face of advertising as advertisers now use targeted advertising to get across to members of this group. Most members of this group are more likely to make a purchase (of a product or service) if their peers have done so and are also likely to not to make a purchase if their peers makes a negative review about such. 7-9 of every 10 amongst this group owns a cell phone (probably a Blackberry or another smartphone) and a computer. Even in low income societies and amongst low income groups, acquisition of a cell phone or a computer is not seen as a luxury but a necessity. This has led to financial institutions and schools partnering together to offer schemes that make it easier for members of this group to acquire such. Cell phone makers are cashing in on this churning out smartphones (phones with Internet and Social Networking capabilities) at an alarming rate. The rise of mobile social networking and instant messaging and email is also placing a demand on the attention spans and tasking abilities of this group. There is that urge to check every Facebook post, every chat, every IM and every mail as they come in and also reply immediately. 70% of all text messages are sent by members of this group. Members of this group view themselves as being excellent multi-taskers but recent research suggests that from being far from the truth. Research from Temple University’s Centre for Neural Decision Making suggests that this addiction to information and addiction to incoming tweets and texts leads to objectively poorer decision making. The research showed that people faced with a plethora of information are apt to be poor at making choices and poor ones at that. Politically, members of this group want change and results fast. They get quickly disillusioned if things don’t go their way and if their anointed candidate doesn’t deliver on time. Members of this group vaulted Barack Obama into office in the US in the 2008 elections but
were nowhere to be found during the 2010 US midterm elections when the Republicans won over the Congress. They have also been responsible for the fall of the governments in Egypt and Tunisia and forced changes in Yemen, Morocco and Saudi Arabia, but after forcing these changes will they be available to provide support and ideas for the new leadership in these places. Again, as with other areas of their lives, they want microwave solutions – fast, ready and instant. The patience to work things out long term is usually absent and politicians will do well to learn these facts and know how to harness them in cultivating this group of people. In the business world and workplace, managing Gen Yer has become one of the hottest topics among HR con-
cover feature culturally dominant. The values in vogue today are as follows: Relational Connection Gen Y is seeking after more than just friendships. They want community: to be understood, accepted, respected, and included. Research from the Australian Leadership Foundation shows that while they spend most of their
sultants and business managers. Across the workplace, they are seen as being lazy not willing to work long hours. They have learnt the importance of balancing work and life from their overworked ‘Baby Boomer’ parents. They want to work, but they don’t want work to be their life. They aim to work faster and better than other workers and are not prone to meetings. They want to hold only ‘productive’ meetings. They want to make an important impact on their first day at work and want to be given direct ownership of tasks and responsibilities with less hierarchical organisational structure. They believe in their own self-worth and are high maintenance workers. They change careers faster than college students change their majors, creating frustration for employers struggling to retain and recruit talented high-performers. “Generation Y is much less likely to respond to the traditional command-and-control type of management still popular in much of today’s workforce,” says Jordan Kaplan, an associate managerial science professor at Long Island University-Brooklyn in New York, US. “They’ve grown up questioning their parents, and now they’re questioning their employers. They don’t know how to shut up, which is great, but that’s aggravating to the 50-year-old manager who says, ‘Do it and do it now.’” They are very independent and place a great deal of demand on their employers. They want jobs with flexibility, telecommuting or work from home options and the ability to go part time or leave the workforce temporarily when children are in the picture. Generation Yers don’t expect to stay in a job, or even a career, for too long, they’re sceptical when it comes to such concepts as employee loyalty. In the workplace, conflict and resentment can arise over a host of issues, even seemingly innocuous subjects such as appearance, as a generation used to casual fare such as flip-flops, tattoos and capri pants finds more traditional attire is required at the office. Conflict can also flare up over management style. Unlike previous generations who’ve in large part grown accustomed to the annual review, Gen Yers have grown up getting constant feedback and recognition from teachers, parents and coaches and can resent it or feel lost if communication from bosses isn’t more regular. By understanding what today’s youth most value, we can determine how to most effectively engage them. Even if many chose to reject these values however they are still
spare time with their peers, they often fail to experience real unconditional love, and connection when with them. Above all else, they wish for “a happy relationship” and “a loving family”. A stereotype is that this generation has no loyalty however they do demonstrate strong loyalty to their friends. They work hard to live up to what their peers expect of them, and their self-esteem often rests on how well regarded they are in their group or sub-culture. Bigger Meaning This generation has observed their parents get the rewards of hard work: houses, cars, and material wealth. Gen Y has benefited from this being the most materially endowed, and entertained generation of teenagers ever. Yet they have seen the costs of their parents’ success in terms of broken marriages, absentee parenting, and an epidemic of stress related illnesses. For their part Gen Y have been left disillusioned with the materialism they have enjoyed and boredom remains a big problem for them (57% state that “never being bored” is of highest importance to them). Therefore they are looking for more than just continuing the consumerism experiment. Indeed when deciding to accept a job, salary ranks sixth in order of importance after training, management style, work flexibility, staff activities, and non-financial rewards. For the young people of this generation, a job merely provides the income to do what they want to do. They are on a search for fun, for quality friendships, and for a
fulfilling purpose. There are more voices than ever trying to win over a cause-seeking generation. Whether it is environmentalism, social issues, human rights, or volunteering, they are getting increasingly involved. Trusted Guidance Research again shows that the one of the strongest felt need amongst Gen Y is for guidance or direction in their
life that is trustworthy. There is much advice on offer but not much of it is believed by this sceptical generation, and rightly so. By the age of 18, the average young person has viewed over 500,000 TV commercials, in addition to countless Internet, radio, and outdoor ads, much of which is pure hype. This generation is hammered with hype and has the hype radar up screening out most messages. This generation wants guidance in the form of a navigator, not a street directory. Our society is full of proverbial street directories, which show the way to financial, relationship, or life success. However most Gen Y’s are unsure of where they are now, let alone where they are going, and so they are seeking specific direction from someone who knows them, their situation, and has even travelled that way themselves. They are looking for real life role models and mentors who not only know the way, but also go the way, and can show the way. Understanding Generation Y is important for all of us whether we are involved in educating youth, or in a leadership role in the workplace or a spiritual based organisation. A quality outcome is dependent on our understanding of them. Once we have a foundational grasp of their characteristics, communication styles, and social attitudes, we will be well equipped to effectively impact this enormous and emerging generation. Before too long they will be the bosses and will be taking over the world.
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Life & Society FAMILY
RELATIONSHIPS
HEALTH
EDUCATION
SCIENCE
GemWoman Magazine-
takes the leap in ‘’Preserving the next generation’’
B
ola Olawale the CEO/Publisher of gemWoman magazine is passionately taking a giant stride in preserving the next generation. She says ‘it is sad that in a society where 2 out of 10 children are tested daily for HIV/AIDS are positive, there are still children who are ignorant of the means through which they could contract this deadly virus, who are totally clueless about the danger of sharing sharp objects? The gemHIV/AIDS initiative was established three years ago in fighting this deadly scourge in partnership with the Lagos State Teaching Hospital. To combat this onslaught, gHAI’s Catch Them Young’ programme was launched, a programme targeted at adequately educating the younger generation, giving them in-depth information on the virus - means of contacting it, precautions, symptoms, treatments, etc. This takes the form of awareness campaigns and seminars in schools- both private and public. Bola Olawale says that the ultimate goal is to empower the younger generation to make better choices; thus the theme, ‘Preserving the Next Generation’. A total of 8 secondary schools in Isheri, Ogba, Agege and environs have been visited, with more scheduled, some of the schools visited include Omole Senior Secondary School and Grammar school, Agindingbi Senior Secondary School and Grammar school, Ojodu Grammar School, Dairyfarm Secondary Agege, Unique Heights Secondary school to mention a few. The comments from the children have been positively overwhelming with so many questions; you will be amazed what these children know at such tender ages. We believe that we can preserve and guide them with wise counsels on sex and other moral values so that Nigeria can build a new breed of healthy, decent and well natured generation of future leaders. For more information, please contact our gemHIV/AIDS school campaigns numbers on 08033021171, 08034083844
Bola Olawale
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Life & Society
Dressing your Kids Titilope Oyelade
sun. Tightly woven fabrics such as t-shirt material, long sleeves and long trousers offer good protection. Caps or hats are essential and should have soft brims to allow for movement and to provide maximum protection. Clothing fabrics – some children are sensitive to ‘scratchy’ fabrics, and some may have allergic reaction to some treatments on clothes, including particular detergents. All clothes that children wear should be low fire danger.
Temperature – it is important that children are not over or under dressed, and that clothing suits the weather. The smaller children are, the more easily they can become chilled or overheated. Natural fibers such as cotton are generally cooler than acrylic fabrics. Stop suiting your class in expense of how the child feels in the cloth. E.g. a child dressed in a complete suit in a very hot weather to a birthday party
Dressing to support children’s play and learning – some clothes tend to hinder children’s participation in some activities. When clothes fit properly and are not too loose or tight, children can move freely and comfortably and participate in exercises. It can be helpful to talk with your child about the cloth they feel most comfortable in for different activities, and to help them to choose clothes that will be practical. The clothes children wear can affect the development of their independence and self help skills. For example, trousers that fit comfortably and have an elastic waist are easier for children to pull down and up than tighter fitting clothes, or one with zips and studs. Tops with large neck, cardigan, and slip on shoes or shoes with Velcro fasteners are easier for children who want to dress themselves. Bigger buttons or toggles are also easier for children to manage than small buttons or press studs. You want your kids dressed for functionality and fun.
Footwear - children need to wear, safe comfortable shoes that fit well, shoes must provide support as well as protection for the feet. Shoes that give little support or protection or that have raised heels or soles can cause accident. Shoes with soles that grips make climbing and other physical activities safer and easier for children
Pick out clothes ahead of time - If choosing an outfit is a particular source of conflict in the morning, have your child pick out her outfit the night before. This will give you time to discuss options and come to an agreement on clothes for the next day, instead of dealing with it in the morning when you are pressed for time and have little patience.
Sun protection – children need protection from the
Make your child’s clothes accessible - Sounds sim-
B
efore you buy clothes for your youngster, there are things you should know about your child’s disposition to dressing. While some may express their feelings about their outfit, others will not but won’t wear a bright look after dressing because he/she is not feeling comfortable. Here are some heartfelt suggestions to ensure happy and comfortable kids!
ple, but installing a lower-level clothes bar in the closet, or putting clothes in lower drawers, will help your child be more independent when it comes to getting dressed. Use tact - This is a good general principle of parenting that definitely applies to getting dressed. Before you point out to your child that her shoes are on the wrong feet, first remember to praise her for putting them on without any help. And think twice about whether it is really important to draw attention to the fact that your son’s t-shirt tag is in the front instead of in the back when he puts on his own t-shirt for the first time. In a broader sense, how we dress accomplishes two things: it identifies us as part of a group (our place within society) and is also a statement of our individuality. That’s a hard balancing act to learn and one that can certainly take a long time in our complicated society. It’s important that parents realize that independent dressing is a learning experience and that they need to allow their children to make choices and mistakes. Don’t expect perfection on the first try. Mastering this task should be a continuing source of pride for your child, not one of frustration.
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Life & Society So, here is what to do; as you put in the first layer of items in your bag, whip out your mobile phone and snap a picture...most mobile phones these days are smart phones with cameras. Do this with each layer of items and when you’re done packing, close your bag, stand it upright and snap yet another picture. If you lose your bag, you usually have to describe the bag and then list the items it contains. However, on the subject of lost bags, I’ll let you in on a little secret... and it is called Travel Insurance!
Fast tracking your Fast Track
I
magine being on a fast track cue at a very busy airport trying to get through the security check and the time is ticking and ticking, closer and closer to your flight departure time and then you begin to get this feeling “oh Lord, I pray I don’t miss this flight”! Yep, that sure does happen and will keep happening if we all don’t wake up to the tricks of the trade of getting through airport security with minimal hassle...after all, it’s not easy to be a frequent flier! The days of dressing to the teeth to travel has since become a thing of the past, thanks to the increased level of scrutiny and screening at most airports. Well what do you expect, after some people could not think of anything better than to stuff explosives in their underpants while boarding a plane... the rest of the story... we all know! So, these are a few tips I like to employ to help us breeze through the check points: • As much as possible, wear slip on shoes, or easily wearable shoes, as shoes with buckles or laces are a definite no no and so are clothes loaded with metals and studs. • Before you reach the conveyor belt, empty
your pockets and take off your belt (if you are wearing one) and your jacket. Also, ensure that you have your liquid make up and hand creams in a transparent plastic bag (for the ladies), and try not to carry the 100ml of your favourite perfume or cream in your handbag, go with the smaller bottles. • For passengers departing from Nigeria, ensure you have filled the declaration and pre departure forms before even joining the cue, so as not to end up delaying yourself unduly (not to mention others) when it finally gets to your turn. • Dress in comfortable clothes and shoes, as you do not know for how long you may have to stand at any given point in time.
In Nigeria, most people don’t even consider travel insurance, except for when they want to apply for a ‘Schengen’ visa. This should not be the case, as it is an essential part of travelling, whether domestic, regional or international. It somewhat limits your exposure in the area of lost or damaged bags, delayed flight, lost travel documents etc (depending on the type of policy you purchase and what it covers). And last but not the list; I always advice people, especially those with a lot of travel history on their international passport(s) to scan each page of their passport and then send it to their personal email box as an attachment, which can be accessed any where they happen to find themselves...should in case they ever lose their passport. This will provide them with the much needed evidence of travel history to take back to the necessary embassies to request again for the visa that was on the lost (or stolen) passport. As we enter into the second quarter of this year 2011, let us remember to be conscious and smart travellers.
You know that you are going on a trip tomorrow morning and it’s already 9pm and you are yet to pack your bags...then welcome to the world of last minute luggage packers...like me! To be honest, I am not entirely that scattered, so, I already would have a check list and when I begin to throw things in the bag, I’m crossing checking with my list. When travelling by any means of public transport (well, except if you’ve got your own private jet), you never know if your bag will get there safely or even if it will get there at all.
YMCA (1st Floor), 77 Awolowo Road, South West Ikoyi, Lagos Telephone- +234 1 4613580, 4613581, 0803246068, 08087185643 info@victorytravels-ng.com, www.victorytravels-ng.com
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Tolu is a travel consultant, extraordinaire, with a wealth of experience of over seven years in the travel and tourism industry. She is a graduate of the University of Ibadan with a B.Sc in Physiology and is currently the Managing Director of Victory Travels and Tours Limited.
Life & Society
A breath-taking obsession... literally! Yemi Sanusi
H
e had tried, really tried, to “toast” me, as they say, but I wouldn’t budge. I was just plain tired of all of them – tall, short, thin, fat, dark, fair. I was simply fed up with his ilk: all smoke and no substance. Yes, I know it: I’m breathtakingly beautiful, thank you very much; but that can’t hold when your skin turns sallow from soaking up smoke!
I came back one night to do a quick check on some people after I had been away for a few days. I found his bed empty.
Slowly, I closed the case-note and wondered what else he could have died from... if he hadn’t started smoking at 17. When would he have died if his lungs had not become charred by the very thing he so recklessly relished? 45 years of smoking probably wasn’t bad for someone likely to die young; but it really would be painful for someone who didn’t know any better, and perhaps wished he had.
Worse still, the current attempter had, quite unwittingly, carried around with him the telltale smell of someone who had been smoking. He was merely pressing home my point. The really familiar smell of menthol sweet hastily deployed in an attempt to cover up the smell of cigarette fumes sucked and exhaled barely thirty minutes earlier was just a total turn-off, like a scam. Then he winked at me. Ewww!
The wannabe ‘boyfriend’ caught my eye again. He winked at me and even made an attempt at blowing me a kiss. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Here’s a young man (barely twenty, I could tell), already walking - eyes wide open and mouth pursed - into a self-bought booby trap. It is said that you cannot legislate morality; but perhaps you can compel people to see reality. Let this, at least, be the worth of the latest bill passed by Nigeria’s lawmakers: The ‘No Smoking in Public Places, Please’ Act, under the National Tobacco Control Bill (2009).
How I wished he knew what was going through my mind! Figures raced before my eyes like a counter: an average 437 people die of lung cancer in the United States every day*, primarily caused by tobacco smoking. No figures for Nigeria.
Not to give the wannabe any ideas, no lectures would come from me to him. Indeed, none could save him. I think his mind is already made up; this seemed clear from his resolve at self-immolation, from which he’s just taken a break to come away, playing cool to make a kill; before returning to pick up his death-wish of playing with fire! Unfortunately...
Even worse to contemplate was the picture of a sixty-one year-old man whom I had met in a teaching hospital, somewhere in the country, as he got close to meeting his self-invoked terminal destiny, playing through my head. He coughed ever so painfully. It was a deep-seated rasp that wracked his whole body, ending up as sputum laced with more than a teaspoonful of blood. He would wheeze, in between tortured breaths, “Na only ígbó im take pass me”, mentioning the name of a popular late Nigerian musician famous for glamorising the puffing of Indian hemp in public by doing it so brazenly on stage. That, it must be noted, was just the beginning. He had been proud of his exploits. Having been a member of the band of another popular Nigerian musician, he told story after story from his younger days, as I checked his chest and pulse rate and carefully adjusted his drip. He even offered me money for my medical services. I graciously declined. As the days went by, his eyes sank deeper and deeper into their sockets. He lost weight more and more; his breathing became more difficult and the spoonfuls of blood grew in volume. The cough was now more nerve-wracking.
Postscript: While it is true that some cigarette smokers outlive their doctors, it remains a tough way to die. When the pains commence, you realise there has never been a successful lung transplant; and that the lungs, unlike the liver in many cases, cannot regenerate themselves; and lung cancer, like most cancers, has no cure, yet - something that might, however, have been prevented simply by not smoking, whether actively or passively. *Lung Cancer Alliance: Lung Cancer Facts His remains had been removed to the morgue. Cause of death? It was primarily the lung cancer. It had spread to other parts of his body and his brain had finally given in to the pressure. In all, he had smoked for nearly 45 years of his life.
Yemi Sanusi is a medical doctor with an MBA from the Lagos Business School. She is the author of Heads and Tales, a medical fiction.
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Living & St yle
FASHION BEAUTY FOOD HOMECARE GADGETS CARS LEISURE
Bold Fashion Jewellery Tola Majolagbe can look. If you can’t afford real, then try to make sure the settings are real, such as white gold, gold or platinum. This will make the rest of the jewellery appear real and will not break the bank, which can be the most important aspect of it. Rule # 2: Keeping large pieces of jewellery looking great and not tacky just takes a little know how. Remember; keep it as simple as possible. If you’re wearing an oversized necklace, say large pearls for instance, keep the rest of your jewellery more delicate. And, for that matter, keep your outfit more subdued. Wearing all black would look great, if you add a large coral necklace or an oversized black pearl long necklace. The possibilities are endless with this.
So you need not be afraid that you may come across somebody donning the same jewellery. All over the world fashion jewellery is the acceptable norm of fashionable dressing. As a result you get designs from several countries and you can choose the best that suits your dress style. Do away with expensive jewellery and go in for the inexpensive affordable fashion jewellery. The famous are also wearing them so why not you.
Rule # 3: Be easy on the prints when wearing large pieces of jewellery. You are already drawing lots of attention to that and you don’t want your outfit to be too loud, by combining loud prints and massive jewellery (which will attract unwanted attention to yourself). Bold jewellery looks great when it is displayed as the centrepiece and the attention grabber. White, beige, black or solid colours would create a fabulous backdrop for your jewellery.
O
nce you’re dressed in your pants suit, jeans and blouse, or even your little black dress, you can’t forget the finishing touches. Jewellery is an important part of fashion (especially for women) that should not be neglected, even if all you put on is a gold band on your thumb. Accessorizing has become a major part of the female life but not everyone knows how to wear them big and bold. Wearing and pulling off big and bold fashion jewellery doesn’t have to be a faux pas if it’s done in the right way. These large pieces can be a great fashion statement and a true conversation starter. Learn how to wear bold jewellery, what to wear it with and what not to do. Wearing large stones or big fashion jewellery takes one thing: confidence. And, it truly means you are extremely comfortable with drawing attention to yourself. So, confidence is key to pulling off this look. Following the next three rules can be crucial to making this look work for you. Rule # 1: The bigger a stone looks, the more fake it
What Not to Do Don’t wear a bunch of large pieces at once (i.e. a bold necklace, bracelet, earrings). It’s too much all at once. Don’t be afraid of colour. This can be the most fun, whether you choose a stone or a beaded necklace with a splash of red or green. It doesn’t matter if the stones are real or faux; the larger size will make your piece unique. And, the colour will grab the attention of people from far away. If the piece of jewellery has a little sparkle, that’s even better. This will glitz up any outfit and prepare it for a night out on the town. Whatever you decide, bold jewellery must fit your bold personality. If you’re not already outgoing, these pieces could make you more so. Just be sure to find a piece of jewellery that you are comfortable with and avoid wearing bracelets on both wrists, as that can overwhelm your look. Fashion jewellery is so specialised these days that it is difficult to come across the same one. Some manufacturers have produced only one or two of its kind.
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Living & Style
G
The Top “IT” Bags of 2011
one are the days of the oversized bags… fashionistas and celebrities alike are toting the new “it” mini cross body bag. Just throw it over your shoulder with a great pair of shorts and a tank and you’re good to go. There are a variety of styles and colours to choose from. Here are the top “It” bags of this spring’s offerings.
Alma Nomade Satchel by Louis Vuitton
The colour of this Louis Vuitton bag is absolute perfection--the more the leather gets worn in, the better it looks!. Reminiscent of the 1930’s design by Gaston Vuitton, Alma is a true Louis Vuitton classic. It comes in supple Nomade leather that complements the elegance of its lines. Comes with Nomade leather discretely stamped with the LV initials, honey microfiber lining, Shiny, golden brass pieces, Double zip-around closure with padlock, Interior patch pocket, cell phone pocket and Removable key bell.
Fringe Tote by Bottega Veneta
All your vital essentials and more will fit into this generously proportioned tote. Bottega Veneta has outfitted signature woven leather with fringe trim for an interesting variation of texture. Artful fringe edging enhances the timeless woven design of this spacious leather carryall. Adjustable shoulder straps, Open top, One inside zip pouch, and Canvas lining are all characteristics of this bag.
Happy Shoulder Bag by Lanvin
Crinkled leather shoulder bag with quilted leather stitching, two strap heights, gold hardware and fold-over flap. Metal twist-lock fastening. Features embossed Lanvin metal plaque charm. Two gold chainlink straps with patent leather handles. Signature gros grain ribbon and bow. Handbag can be worn at two different lengths.
Happy Shoulder Bag by Lanvin
Crinkled leather shoulder bag with quilted leather stitching, two strap heights, gold hardware and fold-over flap. Metal twist-lock fastening. Features embossed Lanvin metal plaque charm. Two gold chainlink straps with patent leather handles. Signature gros grain ribbon and bow. Handbag can be worn at two different lengths.
Leather Tote by Jil Sander
This sunny yellow tote is made for jazzing up jeans and a T-shirt! The slouchy styling makes it relaxed and easy. This butter-soft tote with detachable shoulder strap is the perfect shopping companion! It has double structured handles, a detachable long shoulder strap, a press-stud fastening opening, a canvas lining, an interior zip-fastening pocket and an interior pouch pocket.
Striped Cross-Body Bag by Proenza Schouler
This is a statement bag with charm and personality! This Proenza Schouler bag has two top handles, buckle-fastening strap details and a brass lock-fastening fold-over flap at front, internal zip-fastening and pouch pockets, a compartment beneath flap, and is fully lined in black twill. Roomy enough for all your essentials, Proenza Schouler’s light-brown leather bag is a deluxe travel companion.
Zip-Around Shoulder Bag by Celine
This is a classic bag that reads modern and sophisticated—it will never go out of style. The Zip Around is a simple A4 envelope size case with smooth lambskin leather that folds in the middle for both a simple and striking effect. Besides the folded design, the zip that goes all the way around for easy access stands out as well.
Studded Nude Tote by Valentino
This bag just looks so rich. Luxurious bag in midnight nude leather – high quality, simple design – typical for the worldclass studio of Valentino – hip trapeze shape with stud embellished handle – magnetic push button closure – functional size, not too small – pairs with all elegant day time outfits, suitable for the office, too – not a short lived it-bag but a great lifetime investment.
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Living & Style
Looking Your Very Best fashion faux pas to avoid Adeola Adegboyega brassieres, invest on a good pair of t-shirt bra with detachable straps. Just one pair can get rid of visible lacey bra patterns under your t-shirt as well as those ridiculous bra straps when you’re wearing sleeveless clothes.
A
lot of women, especially the so called LagosTitilope Oyelade
Big Gals, commit a lot of fashion no-no’s every day. Drive past anywhere on the streets of Lagos and you are bound to notice the fashion ‘criminals’ in five minutes! There are a lot of rules that must be followed to stay guiltless of fashion crimes; very simple rules. I have listed some heinous crimes and provided rescue suggestions that shall guide your next outfit choices. Before dashing out to that date, interview, meeting, class, and pretty much anywhere outside your home, look into a full length mirror and make sure you have not committed any of these crimes! Super Tight Clothing or Clothes that don’t fit Right When you break the Proper Fitting Clothes rule, the result is a muffin top because of too-tight low-rise jeans and a short. An ill-fitting shirt that causes extra flesh to spill out over the top of your jeans, making your hips look like the top of a muffin slopping over the wrapper. Not to mention a camel toe because of super tight underwear and pants. Rescue: This can only happen if you are either clueless or in denial about your body. Ladies, do not get hung up on sizes; they’re just numbers; so when fitting clothes, do not be afraid to fit one or two sizes up if you need to. Also remember that off-the-rack clothes will seldom suit your body perfectly. If you’re buying retail brands and nothing hugs your body without a glitch, choose pieces that fit the largest part of your body and have them tailored. Sure, it can mean extra money on your part, but a small nip or tuck can spell the difference between gaudy and gorgeous…you dig? Visible underwear Nothing says trash than G-strings, bra straps, and panty lines peeking under your clothes. These things are called underwear for a reason: you wear them beneath your clothes. Rescue: G-strings are meant to hide panty lines; wearing low-rider jeans only to have a small tent appear from your behind defeats the purpose. A two-way solution to this is to choose seamless panties instead of G-strings. Also, get jeans that fit you well and hide your lady lumps if you must wear jeans that low. For
Baggy clothing The 90s called; it wants your baggy jeans and t-shirt back. With endless possibilities in clothes, it’s always puzzling why anyone would hide their inner bombshell beneath all those layers of fabrics. Aside from being really, really unflattering, baggy clothes can make anyone look like they’re 10 pounds heavier than they are. Rescue: If you’re a plus size woman, there’s really no need to hide your curves in baggy clothing. There are more fabulous ways to camouflage your unsightly bumps. For others who are still into baggy clothes, it’s time to know what modern hip hop fashion is all about. Just a clue, it doesn’t always involve tents for clothes. Open-toed shoes with nude pantyhose This is the just the height of razness. The issue of wearing hosiery with open-toed shoes has always been a gray area when it comes to what is fashionably appropriate. But with runway looks already adapting the trend, it’s becoming more and more acceptable to do so. However, fab crosses the line to drab when women insist on wearing nude pantyhose and stockings with strappy sandals…seriously? Rescue: If you don’t want to go bare legged but would still want to wear those leg-exposing outfits, then shave your legs and do away with that tacky stockings plus sandals ensemble. Also, do not wear tights with sandals or peep toes just to hide your unmaintained toe nails. Schedule a manicure soon and quickly! Too matchy-matchy Wearing everything in one colour from head to toe will instantly turn heads, but not in the way you would intend it to be. Is it just me, or does any other woman out there, find this a tad bit irritating? All-red, all-white or all-any-colour attire is taking the term colour blocking a little too literal. Besides, it makes you look like you really did not think about your clothes that well and just grabbed everything in the same colour family. Rescue: Unless you’re 5 years old, leave the onecolour outfits to kids. Experiment with colour combinations! Life is too short to spend time matching everything you’re wearing. In mixing and matching colours, choose just one or two colours that can both complement each other or stand on their own. Make those the focal point of your outfit instead of sticking to just one palette.
Prints and Patterns This is the evil twin of the one-colour ensemble. A dissonance of prints, colours, patterns, and material all in one go can make anyone go crazy! Instead of highlighting your looks, wearing everything in one go can drown you out and make you look like a fashion road kill. Rescue: Wear prints and patterns one at a time, and downplay everything else with solid colours. Since you are already wearing statement pieces when it comes to prints and patterns, find other clothes that will balance your look rather than mute them out. Over accessorizing Do you see a pattern here, girls? Too much is too bad, and this also goes for accessories. You don’t want to look like you just woke up one day and decided to wear everything you own, do you? Rescue: Certain accessories go with particular clothes. Say chunky bracelets with jeans and t-shirts, statement necklaces with little black dresses, and obi belts with t-shirt dresses. Remember that accessories exist to enhance your style; make these little trinkets work to your advantage. Comfi-Weird shoes Sneakers and Chuck Taylors are one thing, but track and running shoes are another. Yes, rubber shoes are comfortable, but in the chic meter, these runners score way, way low. Rescue: If you want comfort plus style minus these shoes, wear ballet flats and sandals instead. Aside from looking feminine and classic, these alternatives will not make your dogs bark even if you run errands for a whole day. Skimpy clothing There are times when it’s not about not knowing the right clothes size. Some women really deliberately wear skimpy clothes as a choice, much to most people’s horror. Ladies puhleese! Rescue: More often than not (and you have probably seen this in one too many fashion make-over shows), wearing tight-fitting clothes is a personal choice. However, when it comes to clothing, remember that class will always outweigh flash. There are more ways to look sexy without showing too much. You don’t have to reveal to look ravishing. Okay, if you have read this article, I trust you may have found yourself guilty of a crime or two. My advice to you is to invest in a full length mirror and use it! You can no longer plead ignorance. Don’t let the fashion police get you! You have been warned!
MAY 2011
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Living & Style
Mid Range Smartphones that Rock Ayodeji Jeremiah
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don’t know about you; but am getting really tired of touch phones. Yes, I know, the iphone rocks but come to think of it, how many touch phones can one have. The people for whom the iphone is made for (and who can afford it) will probably not look at or buy any of the several touch screen phones being touted by other makers that are now flooding the market. And by the way, no other model has been able to match that wow factor that the iphone has. Not even Nokia’s N8. Anyway, you only have Steve Jobs to thank (or blame) for the touchscreen craze. While RIM’s Blackberry has been clubbing the Nigerian market (with the help of the mobile operators of course); phone makers across the world while trying to play catch up with Apple’s iphone have tried to come up with mid range phone alternatives that straddle the low and high ends of the market. While not strict smartphones in the real sense of the word, these are full feature phones that not only have the touchscreen factor but also have full slide out QWERTY keypads and ability to carry out smartphone functions (though maybe not with the same zest.) Targeted at heavy texters, the social media crowd and mid level business users, these phones come with full social media capabilities to take advantage of the new trend of mobile social networking. Three of these particular range of phones have been selected for your perusal below: The Nokia’s C6, which comes with most of the features of the old N97 mini (except the 8GB internal memory and the tilt screen of the N97 mini and the fact that the C6 is larger;) the LG GW620 dubbed the friendly smart-
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phone that comes with face detection capability that brings all your social networks contacts into one platform and allows you to call, text or instant message them and a five row keypad with a separate numeric keypad (which is cool;) and the Sony Ericsson Vivaz Pro with 8GB of internal memory and video capture software, which are two of its best and distinguishing features. Note: these phones do not pretend to compete with the old Nokia N97 or even the new flagship phone of Nokia, the E7. But they do well in their mid range category. All three phones come with 3G, a neat 5MP camera, WIFI connectivity and document viewer (PDF, Word, Excel, Powerpoint). The LG GW620 Measuring 109 x 54.5 x 15.9 mm, the LG Eve (as it is also known) is based on the Google Android software platform. The 3.2 inch screen resolution utilises resistive technology rather than the more popular capacitive technology though it’s quite usable even with your gloves on. The 320 x 480 pixel resolution is however the smallest of the three phones. The image quality is sharp and clear even in bright sunlight. The five row QWERTY keypad is top notch. All buttons are large enough and properly separated. The LG GW620 is equipped with standard ports only – microUSB for charging, 3.5mm headphone jack and microSD slot that takes expansion cards of up to 16GB (a 2GB card comes included with the package). Though weighing 139g, it looks and feels a bit hefty, but the overall build quality is good. It currently sells for N47, 000 across board. The Nokia C6
Nokia West Africa is seriously promoting this phone now in Nigeria with the E5 and C3. All released around the same time, the C6 looks more on the outside like the 5800 Express Music phone less the 8GB memory. Based on the Symbian S60 5th Edition software, the C6 has a large 640 x 360 resistive screen that enhances the browsing experience. Measuring 113 x 53 x 17mm, the C6 has a four row keypad, 200 MB of internal memory and a 2GB memory card. Nokia though could have done better with the matte plastic used for the back cover as it makes the phone look cheap. The C6 comes with a 3.5mm audio jack and micro-USB port. Plugging in the micro-USB cable lets you synchronise with a PC but doesn’t charge the handset. The phone utilises the full benefits of the now improved Ovi store. Weighing 150g, it sells for N57, 000 in stores. The Sony Ericsson Vivaz Pro Measuring 109 x 52 x 15 mm and weighing 117g, it is the lightest of the three phones and also comes with the most internal memory of 8GB. It’s also fairly slim considering its concealing a full QWERTY keypad. Using Nokia’s Symbian S60 5th Edition software, the screen is a 640 x 360 resistive screen. The keypad is very usable with well spaced out keys. The video capture software can record HD (High Definition) videos at 720p. Sony Ericsson Vivaz Pro features the new design philosophy ’human curvature’, first introduced with the Xperia X10. Designed to mirror the shape of the human body, and at the same time delivering a precise and compelling phone interaction, Sony Ericsson Vivaz Pro is instantly recognisable. Again the plastic body feels a tad cheap but that’s okay considering the overall build quality. The Vivaz Pro sells for N52, 000 in stores.
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Life’s Lessons – Children A Book by Tayo Olarewaju
“You want a better world? How do you eat an elephant? A bite at a time. How do you change the world? A child at a time."
N1, 500
Children’s minds are almost like blank sheets waiting to be written on. They come to us incredibly unique. Each one of them smart in their different ways. Waiting to learn from the adults and the world around them. This book helps you to search for, find and ignite the light within the children you are surrounded by, yours and others.
Available at The Hub, The Palms and other major leading bookstores in Lagos Please call 08191774810-6 for further details/enquiries
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MARKETING
Research Proves Bad Customer News Travels Fast; Turn ‘Madvocates’ into Fans
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urns out bad news really does travel fast. According to a March 2011 study by COLLOQUY, 75% of the general population will advise friends and family when they have a bad experience with a product or service. That surpasses the 42% who say they always recommend a product or service they really like.
vent this switch from occurring. Here are four strategies to get you on the right track: 1. Concentrate on fundamentals. Focus on delivering on your brand promise. Address service issues and head off any negative WOM that can quickly go viral from these well-connected customers. 2. Identify your WOM Champions and treat them well. Avoid the temptation to reward biggest spenders or those who deliver the most efficient ROI. These Champions can ultimately have a greater impact on your brand reputation and market share. 3. Reallocate your budget to programs that improve the customer experience and WOM. According to Satmetrix’s 2001 Net Promoter® Industry Benchmark study, the following factors have an immediate impact on the customer experience and are primary reasons for defection: Interacting with rude or disinterested employees was cited most frequently (34%) unexpected charges/fees (20%) poor product or service quality (20%) 4. Don’t discard the Madvocates. Treat them right and they can fuel positive WOM.
In fact, even the most loyal consumers, those who are willing to recommend brands, have a strong inclination to engage in negative word-of-mouth: 31% said they are far more likely to tell family, friends and co-workers about their bad experiences than their positive ones. It’s clear that seemingly casual consumer conversations play a distinct and crucial role in buying decisions, and ultimately market share. COLLOQUY set out to better understand the reality of this word-of-mouth (WOM) trend, and discovered that there are three large and important consumer segments: Advocates— They are likely to recommend their favourite brands, but are not necessarily well-connected or highly-networked. Connectors— This group has a large network and frequent communication with others. But, they do not necessarily talk about or recommend their preferred brands. WOM Champions— This is a key contingent as it represents the overlap of the two groups above. Not only are they highly likely to recommend their favourite brands, but they also have a large network of frequently-contacted friends and family. The good news is…33% of the population fall into the WOM Champion category. That means there is a lot of positive information spreading around. But, the bad news is that the study identified another subgroup—WOM Champions who are far more likely to spread a bad experience than a good one. This group, dubbed “Madvocates,” can wreak havoc on a company’s reputation and bottom line. 24
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“One lesson is clear; hell hath no fury like a champion scorned,” declared COLLOQUY managing partner Kelly Hlavinka. “Madvocacy is an attitude that nearly a third of all champions share and are willing to act upon.” For now, just 7% of the general population is “Pure Madvocates”—consumers who aren’t connected to brands and aren’t willing to advocate for them, but are oriented to negative WOM. And, who are these madvocates? Well, pretty much everyone. They come from all demographic groups in surprisingly similar proportions. Think your WOM Champions are an unshakeable line of defence? Think again. According to COLLOQUY Partner Jim Sullivan, “Word-of-mouth champions can spread the good word or switch to madvocacy mode, depending on the treatment they receive.” So, it makes sense to stop the “madness” and pre-
by Diane Berenbaum COLLOQUY’s WOM survey, featuring completed responses from 3,295 U.S. consumers was conducted in December 2010 and published in March 2011. http://www.colloquy.com/
Business
How to get the best from your employee
What you should know about Franchise Business
See them as more than just resources; see them as your internal customer: most times we are so concerned about the service we provide to our customers at the expense of our workforce. Jude You have to understand that there are two Chukwuemeka types of customer, both internal and external. Those that buy your goods and services are your external customer and your employees are you internal customers. You also have to understand that you have two types of competitors too. If your customers are not happy they leave and go to do business with your competitor. Likewise, if your internal customers (staff) are not happy, you can loose them to your competitors too. When you loose a staff to a competitor, you loose more than that staff, don’t forget the training you have given the staff, the experience, your Unique Selling Point (USP) and probably your trade secrets. So if you treat your external customer as king, then treat you staff like that and you will get the best out of them.
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s a leader or a manager, your job is simple and is majorly this; you are the link between the organisation objectives and the effort of the workforce in achieving those objectives. So you need to keep the two working together smoothly to produce profit for the company. This will also involve you inspiring your workforce to bring their potential to work everyday and to invest their best into the activities of the company. This role will involve you taking hard decisions even when they are not convenient but sentiments have to be put aside in business. We understand that our workforce is a vital factor in terms of capital when it comes to production of goods and services. There is a need for us to also know that no factor of production can work independently on its own without inputs from others. Most companies have the erroneous believe that the job description handed over to an employee which the employee follows religiously is what translates to productivity. In fact it has been observed that most employees do not perform beyond their given job descriptions and at times don’t see how their activities translate into the bigger picture for the company. They are more concerned about doing what they were asked to do, get their salaries at the end of the month and get out. So they find it difficult to put in their best. My goal in this article is to help you as a leader or a manager to be able to get the best out of your workforce beyond the job description you are giving them. A situation where they are sold out to the company objectives and values, where they are ready to give their best for the company, where ideas flows from down to up and not from up to down alone. A situation where your employees will see the company as their own. As a manager, don’t ever forget those times you were a
subordinate too: most leaders forget when they were like the people they are dealing with. One of the reasons why you as a manger rose to that level from the least position in your career apart from the experience you have gathered is to be able to put yourself in the position of the employees so as to be able to address their issues effectively. What were the challenges you faced when you were in that position? How would you have preferred your manger to treat you the time you were in their shoes? You have to be the kind of the leader you desired years back to your people, at that point they will be ready to do their best for the company and you. Put employee in the area they love most and that is in line with their natural abilities: let me quote Scott Bedbury here in what he called “Five Human Truths” – he said “we need to be understood, feel special, feel as though we belong, feel that we are in control, and know that we have the chance to reach our potential.” This is what an average employee wants from the work place. So you have to serve as career adviser here by giving your people the chance to perform in the department in line with their natural abilities. This singular action will allow them to be creative, wake up daily with the love of their work at heart. This starts from the point of the interview, so there is need to recruit staff in line with their potential and not just recruit people based on the grade written in their certificates. You may need the services of a talent manager here. Allow your employees the freedom to operate: many managers delegate without allowing the people the freedom to do what they are delegated to do. You can get the best from your employees when you put them to work on a clearly defined mission or goal and set them free to do what they do best. Someone said “with highly motivated staff doing their job exceedingly well, your biggest problem as a manger will be what to do with all the extra time you now have.
Understand that money fails at times to motivate employees: we have been faced with cases where an employee will drop his resignation letter and at the exit interview, we always try to convince them to change their decision. We even go to the extent of promising a rise in pay, but their mind is made up and they stick to their decision of leaving. You find out later that the company they joined is not paying their staff better than you. So, what happened or what could be responsible for that? There is a policy there that cares about their well being more than what they were getting from you. It goes beyond the canteen you are providing or the cash incentives. It is about a policy culture of trust, connection, growth and service. I once worked in a place where we were highly paid (in fact the highest in the industry at that time,) but on a monthly basis the number of staff that resigned and joined our competitors for lesser pay was alarming. A lot of people interviewed will tell you “though the salary is very okay, but there has not been time to enjoy the money.” So they had rather the company that gives them less salary but enough time for their families and time to improve themselves via advance studies. Let me close by this Spanish saying I once stumbled on: “Salud, Dinero y Amor y tiempo para disfrutario” (Health, money, and love, and the time to enjoy them). Look closely to that and measure your employee policies with that.
Bukola Idowu is an experienced and innovative people & organizational development expert, with years of experience with two leading Nigerian banks renowned for excellence & customer oriented banking. He regularly combines the role of a Social Entrepreneur, Preacher, Trainer, Business Development Consultant, Human Resources professional and People Development Coach. He is the Managing Partner of Opportunity World Consulting (a Business & Human Capital Development firm) that helps businesses, corporate organizations and individuals alike get the best out of their ventures and staff. He is the author of “What the CEOs are looking for in you” amongst many other books. Email: bukola@opportunityworld.biz , www.bukkyidowu.com .
MAY 2011
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Business
Effectiveness at Work
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he most pressing human capital priority facing post-millennial organizations is the ongoing cultivation of workforce talent, capable of meeting the business objectives of today and tomorrow. To remain truly competitive, regardless of business climate, organizations must adopt a strategy for fundamentally transforming, not simply investing in, human capital... Coaches Training Institute (CTI) The crux of the matter is how do we apply or relate or connect the new skills and behaviour we have learnt and acquired, effectively, to our every day event or activities? Effectiveness according to the oxford advanced learner’s dictionary is the ability to produce the desired or wanted result. However, effectiveness, as indispensable as it sounds, is incomplete without efficiency. Let us define effectiveness at the workplace as the ability to produce successful results without the waste of resources, time and energy. Effectiveness at work is not recognised or appreciated if it’s not efficient. We need to draw a clear distinction between talent and skill. Talents are inborn and therefore cannot really be transferred. Skills are simply how to do some things. Talents are discovered and developed while skills are learnt and transferable. When we confuse talent with skills we set ourselves up for disappointing expectations from training. Skills required to be effective at work: • Ability to prioritize – to arrange your tasks, work or assignment in order of importance. To prioritize, you need to clarify the task or responsibility or problem i.e. understand and make easier to process or digest. • Consult with your internal customers. Consulting with co-workers can help you avoid troublesome issues, attitudinal attacks and promotes a healthy competition. • Communication skills – you need to hone your communication skills to be effective at work. Knowing how to talk to people is paramount for work effectiveness. For example, if you don’t understand how an assignment is to be completed, seek clarification. You don’t necessarily have to admit that you don’t understand something; simply ask for clarification. Likewise, if you’re discovering that people don’t understand your instructions, ask yourself if you need to be clearer in your communication. • Excellent listening skills – paying attention to what you hear and is being said. This will enable you get more vital information that would mould your
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decision and judgment making abilities. That explains the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is the ability to hear i.e. ability to be aware of sounds with one‘s ears. • Good learning skills Learn and create a learning environment by asking questions, Inquire for knowledge and not to intimidate, embarrass or make a ridicule of the person. • To be organised – to have a structure that suits your workload or schedule and personality. Being organised is the ability to plan and arrange your work in an efficient manner. • Assertive skills - Assertiveness involves understanding your working environment, identifying issues, problems or potential challenges and most importantly, dealing with the issues as they emerge rather than the personality or characters involved. • Don’t Neglect Your Writing Skills. Just because e-mails in general suffer from poor grammar and punctuation doesn’t mean that your written communication should be anything less than professional. But knowing what to write and how to do it is just part of your mission; you also need to know about your reading audience. Do people tend to read your entire e-mail or will they stop reading after the first two lines? For the latter, you’ll want to incorporate the most important information up front. Also, always remember that once you put anything in writing, it’s there for the world to see. Be particularly sensitive in your e-mails and memos when informing staff about new equipment, a change of policy, or any report. You never want to patronize or insult anyone. • And don’t ever underestimate the power of misinterpretation. Consider the confusion — and bad feelings — that could arise if you were to write “I resent that” meaning you sent a report again versus you were offended by something that might have been said earlier. Clearly, you want to know where to insert hyphens (re-sent) and when you should simply pick up the phone or stop by someone’s desk for a face-toface conversation. • Need to work with emotional intelligence – The real secrets of success are not taught in schools. The rules of work are changing. It is not how book smart you are but how people smart you are. Today’s rules of engagement have very little to do with what we
were taught or what we learnt in school. Rather, you need to develop what Daniel Goleman in his book “Working with Emotional Intelligence” tagged the portable skills such as adaptability, versatility (ability to swing into or take up different roles/responsibilities without necessarily leaving gaps) and persuasiveness (which is the ability to change one’s views or opinions over a particular topic or subject or thing). These abilities are important in applying the knowledge and experience you have, so as to achieve the desired results. Then you can become fully effective at work. Emotional Intelligence is all about managing your feelings so that they are expressed appropriately and effectively, enabling people to work together towards achieving a common goal. • Maintain a Positive Attitude and be civil with one another. This one’s pretty obvious. Still, we sometimes forget how a smile or a clever remark can diffuse a troubling situation. Using humour in the workplace, smiling, and exuding a positive attitude whenever possible are all good strategies for overcoming a variety of office situations. There is so much attention on being courteous and well mannered with clients and or customers that we no longer know how to be polite and well mannered with our colleagues and internal customers. Folake Oluwole is a corporate and career coach and the CEO of GTD LTD (i.e. GETTING THINGS DONE LTD), a consulting firm based in Lagos, Nigeria. She connects with people and organizations in order to inculcate a passion for the vision of the organization. For more information, call 08083179384 or email oluwolefolake@yahoo.com or gtdltd@yahoo.com
Business
Building Effective Relationships That Work
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and feel accepted, rather than be judged. Listening leads to understanding; if you understand someone else fully, then you know what to do to get closer and work better together.
I have been interested in how people build relationships since the year 2000. I went on a week’s training event where a group of us were encouraged to look at our behaviour as it happened. My most important insight from this experience was that we have the technical resources and material to solve all the problems we have. What is missing is the willingness and the skills to work together. This requires us to listen to each other; indeed, listening is the underlying skill required in all good relationships.
In effective relationships, parties openly express their positions and feelings. Sometimes we expect people – particularly those close to us at home or work – to understand what we want and to give us what we need intuitively. This is not a realistic aspiration. People are so complicated and react to events in such different ways that even when they have lived together for 60 years they can still surprise each other. We need to say what we need and to express how we feel. By doing this we are more likely to get what we want, rather than expecting someone to notice what we want, then waiting for that person to give it to us.
elationships can often seem like fragile things – especially in the workplace where they are often built and destroyed by the actions we take. However, as Nick Heap explains, by underpinning those relationships with a few simple principles, they can grow into something secure and lasting.
Why Build Effective Relationships? In society we need to build effective relationships for a number of reasons. For instance, the health of people depends on what happens in organisations and what they do. Alongside that, organisations only function with the cooperation of their members. We all know that ineffective organisations can be very frustrating. We also know that effective organisations can demand so much from their employees that those people have nothing of themselves left for life beyond their work environment. Either of these scenarios can result in personal and relationship stress or breakdown. Additionally, organisations can have a profound effect on people that do not work for them but who depend on them for the necessities of life – for example, food, housing and clean water.
In order to make our relationships more effective, we should treat ourselves and each other with respect. Respect is the core of any good relationship. We show respect by listening to the other person and by trying to understand how they view things. Quickly forming judgments based on prejudice is the complete opposite of respect. You can respect people (even if you find their behaviour difficult to understand) by acknowledging that they are doing the best they can when their circumstances and history are taken into account. Respect is the foundation for a strong relationship – and this means respecting yourself as well as others. If you feel good about yourself, it is much easier to see the good in people and treat them with respect.
Society is a web of relationships, requiring all parties to work together in order to create something that is good. But what makes society work even better are relationships that are positive, co-operative and respectful. In this way everyone works for the good of the whole and towards a common purpose. This demands effective relationships based on mutual understanding.
Another key to forming effective relationships is to face differences directly. Differences between people are interesting. In a conversation where each person listens to the others, you may each discover a new truth that integrates (say) two opposing perspectives. This is more rewarding than the alternatives – for example, withdrawing, fighting, grumbling to someone else or plotting. Learning to face differences takes time and can be uncomfortable, but confronting and attempting to understand them is a good, stretching discomfort.
If you understand what people want and why they want it, you can usually find a way to make progress together. The best way to understand is to listen and observe without making premature judgments. In my experience, active listening can help you discover, remarkably, that we want the same things.
Work towards solutions where both parties win. I believe profoundly that win–win solutions are possible and that should always be our goal. If we both feel we have gained from resolving a difference, then we will be more willing to co-operate again in future. This builds exciting and satisfying relationships.
High-quality relationships make you happy. It’s often the case that some of the happiest people in the world live in the poorest communities. I have met people in Nepal who had almost nothing material but who radiated contentment because they shared a life together. If your key relationships are working, happiness is possible in most circumstances.
What Can Help? In exploring what helps us to build effective relationships, perhaps I can pass on some advice that has been drawn from personal experience and from some of the training workshops in which I have been involved.
What is an Effective Relationship? In an effective relationship, parties listen to understand others’ positions and feelings. The simplest way to understand what is important to another person or to a group is to ask, then listen to the answer. We all know when someone else is really interested in us. The other person is attentive, does not interrupt, does not fidget and does not speak about him or herself. This gives us time to think
1. At least one party should decide the relationship is important. If I decide my relationship with someone is important, then I will invest time and energy to understand that person’s needs and to deal with anything that gets in the way. (It’s easier if the other person thinks it’s important too, but not essential.) Even if I try and fail, I will know that I gave it my best shot and can gain comfort from that. 2. Learn to listen effectively, and without judging. Effective and non-judgmental listening will help you to under-
stand the other person or people. When someone listens to you, both your own sense of worth and the worth of the listener increases. Judging another person almost always creates distance and defensiveness. 3. Meet people informally, so they feel comfortable raising issues that are important to them. Most people feel more relaxed in informal settings. If you are intending to meet with someone with the specific purpose of developing your relationship with that person, think about holding the meeting in a setting in which he or she will feel comfortable. When people are relaxed they are more able to speak about what is important to them. 4. Develop a culture whereby people can express their feelings. We create relationships by sharing thoughts and feelings. When we express happiness, joy, contentment, anger, irritation, sadness or fear we feel more vulnerable, but we can also feel more connected. Unexpressed feelings can get in the way of building closeness. It is difficult for two people to have a useful conversation if one of them is unaware that the other is angry about something the he or she said or did. There is a good chance that this will result in a cold or aggressive atmosphere when these two people meet, and this will get in the way. Organisational cultures that encourage people to connect can generate a passionate commitment to achieve wonderful things together. To effectively manage people you need to understand these four basic principles and be unique in your way to express yourself without bias and a stereotype mindset about certain kind of people because of physical appearance. Adebowale Jeff Johnson, a Human Resource Consultant is the founder/ CEO Jeff Johnson Business Solutions and Jeff Johnson Business School. He is also a member, Board of Director, Grace House Worship Centre. Prior to starting his own business, he has worked with firms like Phillips Consulting Limited, SoftSkills Management Consultants, People Prime Limited, and SIAO. He has spoken at several university campuses and is currently writing a paper to develop quantitative analysis and decision making with the use of data to develop business model that will enhance organizational performance.
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ARTs
& Culture
books movies music theatre photography exhibitions architecture
For the Ancient of Days, It’s Sax to the Max
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is name in full is a mouthful – Oluwasegunfunmi Oluwayomi – as is his moniker: Omo Arugboojo, an enchanting Yoruba phrase that means ‘offspring of the Ancient of Days, now his oriki, or cognomen, which is succinct as the word on his spiritual lineage. It is just well that his height is a towering 6 feet, “in full,” he always delights to add. Waxing poetical, he describes himself as “a man fully suited in a dark-complexioned skin.” Rave-making saxophonist, Segun, was born into the staunchly Christian family of Mr. & Mrs. Samuel Ajayi Ogunyomi (he would come to change the ancestral family surname to reflect the family’s spiritual rebirth), in Ilorin, Kwara State of Nigeria’s western region. Segun, as he is fondly called, is third born and first boy - of two brothers and four sisters. He attended Saint Barnabas’ Primary School, Ilorin, from 1980 -1986, from where he proceeded to Government Secondary School, Ilorin from the year 1986 -1992. He progressed to study music at Obafemi Awolowo University, one of Nigeria’s outstanding citadels of learning. “In my teenage years, back at my home church, I was in the choir. Once there was a call for people interested in learning any musical instrument to put their names down. I discovered that every other person went for all other instruments apart from the trumpet. I was challenged to pick up the neglected instrument. Mind you, it wasn’t my initial instrument of interest (which was the keyboard). I took up the challenge and, at the end, became better off than all others even in their field because I was also compelled to learn other instruments in the process of learning the trumpet which was not an easy task. “With eleven years of musical experience behind me, I have taken to music and have developed myself outstandingly. However, in the year 1996, I met the Lord in a concert and received a challenge to use my gift to worship God. I aspired to become a dynamic vessel that God can use as a tool in His hands in this dispensation. I believe I stand out of the crowd through my unique way of worshiping God. “With the instrument God has placed in my hands - the saxophone - I worship
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God in a uniquely African way, going way back to my heritage part of which is a language rich in words. I seek nothing but to please the Lord; one major way by which I do this is by worshiping Him. “Music for me was not an attraction; it started first as an interest. This was what made me join the church choir right from a tender age. It was later that I received the burden to use my gift to serve the Lord. Ever since, the Lord has been so good to me. “I have been privileged to work with notables and musical pioneers like Kayode Olajide and the Waivers; Evangelist (Dr.) Ebenezer Obey Fabiyi, Pastor Adelakun and his Ayewa International Gospel Singers (of the Amona Tete Wa O rave), Evangelist Mrs Fasoyin (of the Odun Nlo Sopin fame), Evangelist Tope Alabi, Wale Thompson, Dele Taiwo, and the widely-acclaimed National Praise Team of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, among others. “By the grace of God I have been enabled to do two albums: Arugbo Ojo Series 1, put together in 1999 and released in the millennium year 2000; then Aseda Oga Ogo (Arugbo Ojo Series 2). Work began on it in 2004 and it was released in 2005. “My kind of music is basically the face of traditional Christian music bearing its mark in African Jazz (his reference for this is Galatians 6:17). It is a blend of traditional percussive instruments such as gangan, iya ilu, omele, bata, iya bata, gudugudu, agidigbo, and Western instruments like the saxophone which is my main instrument; then the keyboard, trumpet, guitars and the trap set. “The vision is basically to entertain God in our local tongue. From feedback over the years, I realise my music reaches out to all and sundry, both Christians and non-Christians alike. I believe this is because my music eulogises God employing Deity’s many attributes which enables people connect with Him easily. “My music accommodates both the old and the new generation, which is why I
Arts & Culture have fans spread all over the world.” Segun is happily married to his wife, the beautiful and adorable Boluwatife Segun-Oluwayomi, with whom he has two boys, or as he prefers to call them: “wonderful nations.” As for his band, he makes bold to say that he has professionals handling different instruments. “These people have their acts together, as far as professionalism is concerned. Working together as a band, all can see that we have carved a niche for our band in the society.” “Despite all odds, the passion and the call to serve my God through music has kept me going. There have been low periods of discouragement but I have always overcome because the passion and the burden to reach out to people through music has been a consuming. “There are people that I respect a lot in the industry and people who have been my source of inspiration aside God who comes top of the list. In Nigeria, they are people like Evangelist Ebenezer Obey Fabiyi, Pastor Adelakun (Ayewa), Nathan Bassey, Dr. Kayode Samuel, King Sunny Ade, Lagbaja, Kayode Olajide, the late Yusuf Olatunji, Haruna Ishola. Abroad are Don Moen, Ron Kenoly, Hezekiah Walker, Justo Almario, Tom Brooks, among others. My mentors and sources of inspiration include Pastor Wole Oladiyun, Pastor Matthew Ashimolowo, Ayo Arowolo, and my father-in-law, the Reverend J.B. Odofin.”
Arugboojo
Arts & Culture Events Diary
Have your arts and culture events publicised on this page. For your book launch or presentation, arts exhibitions, music releases, film shows, theatre presentations etc. Send details to timeslesscourage@yahoo.co.uk or call 01-4358330 MAY 2011
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Parent’s Section Children are born into families and need first to learn to live within the rules and confines of their families. As they get older, they must learn to live within the dictates of the society as they will be answerable after a while to the society. If a child does what is wrong at a certain age or level the child becomes answerable to the government and the rules and laws of the land in which the child lives. This means there are specific rules and laws which should be in place first within a family. This so that all people can exist peacefully together. The way all people and particularly children learn how to leave peacefully with others is first emphasized or laid down by the family values in which your child is brought up. This we can call Family values. Family values thus are social, moral and ethical behaviours that are imparted in a family and emphasized through the actions and behaviours of all members of the particular family. This is a good time to reflect on your family values. Love Family values can be heavily influenced by the culture of the place in which the family lives. However there are some values which are the same irrespective of the tribe country or religion in which the family lives. One of this is love. All families encourage and promote love amongst its members. Once there is love a there is a lot of acceptance and a sense of belonging which is important for very child. Respect Respect has slightly varying interpretations in different societies. However respect for self and others are the same in all cultures. Every culture believes there should be a
healthy level of respect for other people their properties and so on. In the African context this value is taken a step further as children are to respect all adults and people older to a level which does not exist in the Western society. Honesty Honesty remains the same in every language culture and society. Truth is rewarded and Lies are punished if found out. Families’ and individuals’ have been built and rewarded for honesty and integrity as lies and dishonesty have been the ruin of many. Tolerance No one can exist alone. A great value to teach your child is tolerance. This includes Tolerance and broad mindedness for other people’s opinions and beliefs. Explain to your child that Listening and understanding other people’s opinions and beliefs does not necessarily lead to a weakness of one’s own opinions but it definitely makes the world a more peaceful place to live in.
pain and mental torture. Do bear in mind also that a lot of illnesses have been linked scientifically to unforgiveness! Empathy Being sensitive to the needs and feelings of others can be a very useful tool indeed Children should be encouraged to be less self absorbed. Children should learn that life cannot be all about ‘me’ ‘me’, ‘me’ because surely there comes a time when every one needs someone Insensitive people are sure to alienate others and at such times become very lonely people. There are a lot more values Think about it. Which of these values are important to you? Which of these do you want to teach your children? Which do you hold dear? Enjoy your Child.
Forgiveness This is a very useful trait that seems to benefit the giver even more than the recipient. People are bound to hurt each other by mistake or deliberately. However the act of forgiveness is one which must be deliberately cultivated and taught to your child. It is very difficult at times to make a deliberate plan to forgive. To forgive is to decide to let another person’s actions misdeeds however hurtful and painful go unpunished. However it is an action that can help your child to unburden herself and let go of unnecessary
Children’s Section What are the things your parents talk to you about all the time? Think about it. Are your parents always telling you to be honest That is ’Not to tell lies’? Perhaps your parents are always telling you to be kind to others and not to be selfish. Maybe your mother is always telling you to be respectful and mindful of other people’s feelings. Here is an exercise for you Write down all the things your Mum or Dad talks about the most. Look over the list and Think about it carefully. Which ones do you understand the reasons why? Maybe it is easy for you to understand why you should not lie because you know if you lie and you get caught you get in trouble with your Parents. The thing about it is that it remains the same everywhere throughout life as you grow older. If you do what is not right or say what is not true, at first you get in trouble with your parents and later maybe it is not just with your parents but also with your School. As you get older you can get in trouble with your principal. When you start working you can get in trouble with your boss at work. Later on you can get in trouble with the Government. That is how people end up in jail. So you see you really should listen to your parents. No matter how unimportant what your Mom and Dad are saying seems. Your parents usually care about you a lot and can see things a lot farther than you can. All they are doing really is trying to prepare you and help you stay out of trouble when you get older. Think about all the other things your parents are always going on and on about. The ones you do not understand the reasons why they say them and ask your parents to explain it to you. It really is for your own good. Be Good.
Tayo Olarewaju is the Director of Delightsome Land School, a nursery and primary school in Victoria Island Lagos. She studied Accounting, Educational Leadership and Management. She is passionate about children, enjoys reading and writing and is learning to stay away from chocolate biscuits. She is married with 3 stars and a dog named scratch. If you would like to be a part of the all stars team send your name, date of birth and phone number to 08033527272 or email it to allstars@delightsomeland.org
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PreSchooler activities for Preschool Children from Age 2-5
Shapes and Counting
Sweet Shop
VICTORIA TANDOH
This is the letter P.
P
There are circles, half circles, and squares hidden in this picture. Count them and write down the total number of each shape.
Trace the letter P.
P_P_P_P_P_P
Say the name of each picture. Write the letter P next to the pictures that start with the letter P.
There are
circles.
There are
half circles.
There are
squares.
Copyright © 2010-2011 by Education.com
More worksheets at www.education.com/worksheets
Make a Memory Stacking and Packing It’s so easy to get caught up in the life of your child without recording what’s happening. But later on it Babies and toddlers of this age are fascinated by might be fun to look back on what your child was do- things that fit into or onto other things. A box stacked ing at each stage. with smaller boxes, tubes and flat pieces of cardboard is usually a good source of entertainment. • You could try keeping a baby scrapbook, filling it • Your toddler may just like to take everything with first words, lists of favourite toys and milestone out and put it back again but you could also show him your child has reached. how to stack the smaller boxes into a tow and knock it • Find the time to take finger and hand prints and down. stick them inside the book, along with first drawings. • The Tubes can also be stood on their ends for • You could add photographs too, and make it knocking down, rolled along the floor or used as teleinto an activity by taking monthly or yearly trips to a scopes or megaphones. photo booth. • Stick in birthday cards, entry tickets to places you have visited together and list of presents your 31 MAY 2011 TIMELESS child has been given.
Dabar
Insights for Christian Living
Teaching Teenagers Personal Boundaries Mark Gregston
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eenagers live in a culture where boundaries seem to be non-existent. So, teaching them about your own personal boundaries will help them think about developing their own boundaries and how to respect other people’s personal space, time and belongings. When I mention boundaries, don’t confuse it with household rules. Boundaries have more to do with what we all need to build around ourselves to guard from being walked all over by others who are less considerate. Boundaries are enforced by rules, but they are different from your household rules, because they have to do with protecting who we are as individuals and what we choose to put up with as we interact with others. Boundaries protect us; they define who we are, and who we are not. Think of boundaries as you would your “personal space.” When someone steps up and talks to you with their nose two inches away from your nose, you may feel that your personal space is being violated. It can feel uncomfortable when that invisible barrier is crossed. Likewise, teens who haven’t learned to respect personal boundaries can fail to realize that their parents are human beings who need their own space. Naturally selfish teens can step over the line by putting more and more demands on a parent’s time, money and patience. If allowed to go on, the parents will eventually get walked on, dumped on, yelled at, and feel demeaned or disrespected. They can begin feeling like their life is no longer their own; rather, it belongs to the care and feeding of their teenager’s selfishness. Reestablishing and communicating your need for personal space once your child reaches the teen years is important. It will help them know that you are still a person, not just a parent, and you have needs, too. For instance: Privacy (I will decide who to allow in my personal space) Time (I will decide what will occupy my time….not my teen) Money (I can give to my teen out of love, but I owe him nothing) Action (I can say “no” to my teen’s demands, if I want to) Emotions (I won’t be “dumped” on or disrespected) Boundaries…Even if You Love Serving Your Teenager
Some parents relish being needed by their teenager. They dote on them and take care of their every need. They ask “How high?” when their teens says, “Jump!” They may even take abuse and disrespect from their teen when it is directed their way, thinking, “Oh, they’re just having a bad day.” These parents need to step back and understand that boundaries must still be established, for the teenager’s sake, and consequences need to be applied for stepping over those boundaries. If not, it will lead to selfish, bossy and entitled adolescents who don’t understand personal boundaries. My Teen is Going Too Far It’s easy to tell when your teenager has gone too far. You’ll feel frustrated, violated or a little “put out.” But the question is, do they know they’ve crossed the line, or do they just think you’re the one being unreasonable in your reaction? They won’t know they’ve violated your boundaries until you clarify what those boundaries are. When teens can get the feeling that we owe them everything, tell them “I don’t owe a thing, but I want to give you everything.” So, when you feel violated by your teenager’s inconsiderate nature, write down the boundary that could be a solution. For example, “I need to be spoken to with reasonable respect,” or,” I need to have a clean car with a few drops of gas in the tank after it is borrowed,” or, “I need to be asked several hours in advance if a ride is needed,” or, “I need to be asked before you enter my room, dig in my purse, or borrow things from my closet.” When you get these things under control, you’ll be protecting your privacy, your day, and a little bit of your sanity from your teenager’s selfishness and lack of consideration. Communicating Boundaries Once you’ve had some time to get your list together, cut it down to just ten items as a first step; which may be difficult, but teenagers have difficulty learning more than ten new concepts at a time. Then sit down with your teenager after dinner to tell him something like, “There are a few things I am going to change having to do with how we interact with each other. It’s time that we begin to interact in a more adult way. Therefore, here are ten things that will change, effective immediately.” Then, list the items, like: “I will no longer do your laundry…I will no longer drive you to school…I will no longer wake you up in the
morning,” etc. While normal discipline should be consistent across the family, personal boundaries can be different; they can be unique for each individual. Mom’s may be different from dad’s, and they may be different for a teenage girl versus a boy. As you communicate your own boundaries, don’t make it one-sided. Ask your teenager to develop their own personal boundaries as well. Have them think about and list their own personal boundaries for the people they interact with, including you. It’s a powerful way for them to think through their own individuality and how they’ll react to the influences in their life, including their peers. Whenever you require your teenager to step up to the plate to take on adult responsibility or behavior, also communicate ways that you’ll be treating them more like adults in return. For instance, giving them more freedoms or the ability to make their own choices. And let them know that you’ll respect their personal boundaries as well (as long as they are respectful and not counter to your household rules or your job as a parent). What If My Teen Still Won’t Respect My Boundaries? Your child may never fully agree with all of your boundaries, but he or she can be required to respect them, even if they don’t agree, or face the consequences of not respecting them. Breaking personal boundaries is a pretty big offense in my book, so be sure to set your consequences appropriately. Your job, for as long as your children live with you, is to faithfully provide an arena for your children to learn respect, relationship, and boundaries. If not, they’ll about it and stumble off to college, to work, or to become parents themselves leaving in their wake a path of destructive behavior and relational missteps. As you begin to think about setting your boundaries, ask yourself, “What do I want the relationships and behavior toward me to look and feel like?” Think about and communicate what you want changed in how your teenager relates to you. It will bring sanity to your home and help teach your children how to respect another person’s time, privacy, energy, space, and authority. More importantly, it will ultimately teach your children self-control and to be good parents who teach boundaries when they have kids of their own. So the cycle of life continues.
Dabar - Insights for Christian Living The Dabar column is about Christian living. This column is going to deal with real life issues that Christians face in day to day living and the Biblical perspective on these issues with a real life approach to such situations. We will also use this column as a forum to discuss issues affecting Christianity as a whole. As such, letters with issues which can be discussed should be sent to timelesscourage@yahoo.co.uk. Issues to be discussed in the column will be chosen from letters sent in by you our readers. We look forward to hearing from you so we can start treating these issues from next month. Thank you. 34
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Viewpoint
My name is Joe... I need a Scholarship Taulpaul Oselen
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his is the story of a young Nigerian worker who is planning to further his studies in the US. His name is Joe. Please, follow Joe’s educational history. Primary Education Joe attended a very good nursery and primary school founded and operated by a missionary group. He was taught by great teachers and paid only a pittance as school fees. He also enjoyed excellent amenities
the school but he had no option because as bad it was, the school was the best his parents could afford at that time. Tertiary Education Joe gained admission into one of the state owned universities in Nigeria to study engineering. He was overjoyed as he had heard so much about the institution. In his own words, Joe said, “if I thought my secondary education was bad then my experience at
quality of education we got and how we wished things were much different. He remembered vividly. Then I asked, “why don’t we reach out to some of our old colleagues and go back to that school to make a difference. To make our wishes then come through in the lives of the present students”... Joe paused and said, “why do we have to? We left that school a long time ago. Moreover, we paid our school fees and the kids there today also paid. They (the school authorities) should use the money generated from fees to improve the standard of the school. It’s a private school for God sake!”... Then I replied, “but you and I know they won’t. They are more interested in minimizing cost and maximizing profits”... Joe went on to say, “if we were treated right back then, I would feel obliged to give something back in return. The truth of the matter is that I owe them nothing.” I said, “but you are an alumnus of the school and that’s irreversible; let us make the school something we will all be proud of in the nearest future.” He answered, “guy, I have more important things to do with my money, I plan to get a Masters degree in Project Management and Risk Analysis. It will cost me several thousand US dollars. I am saving up for it and I am applying to several top universities in the US that offer scholarships” My Point: Joe has three main reasons for not accepting to give back to his secondary school;
and recreational facilities; standard classrooms (appropriate teacher to student ratios) and free stationery and meals. In short, Joe had the right start in life. Secondary Education He was admitted into a private boarding school where he saw the other side of life. Most teachers there were a little above average and were always in search of a better paying job. The facilities in the school were not adequate as the proprietor was more interested in the school fees than the quality of the students. The fees never obeyed the law of gravity as they were always on the rise while the standard rarely improved. Joe often compared the standard at the school to that of his primary school and whenever he did he was left frustrated. He couldn’t wait to leave
the university was ‘WORSTER’. He said he learned to write workshop and lab reports without touching or ever seeing the equipment. It was the norm for him to sit in overcrowded lecture rooms where he would have to strain his ears to hear a word from an often detached and nonchalant lecturer. He went on to say that the hostels on campus were congested and dilapidated; lacking regular water and power supply and sometimes he had to go for test without taking his bath. Joe went on and on complaining.
• It is privately owned • He has not too pleasant memories of his secondary school days • Lastly, he wants to further his education and doesn’t have the money required... he would love a scholarship Indeed, Joe has good excuses but they are all excuses.
Seven Years After School Joe is now working and doing pretty well...
1. Joe is yet to give a kobo to the publicly owned university he attended to help improve the condition of the institution (I guess the State govt ought to take full responsibility). 2. Joe has great and very pleasant memories of his primary school days but he is also yet to give a kobo back to see that the standard is upheld. 3. Lastly, Joe wants a scholarship from a top university in the US to fund his masters’ program but has forgotten that if the alumni of that school were like him, there will be no funds set aside for scholarships.
This was when I met Joe again (we attended the same secondary school). I reminded Joe of our days in school and how we used to complain about the
My Message We need to stop all the complaining and start giving back to our alma maters, if Nigeria is to stand tall.
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Podium
A Farcical and Anarchic Look at Nigerian Car Plates Akintokunbo Adejumo
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aughter, they say is the best medicine. Let’s take a comic look at our predicament in Nigeria.
A “farce” is defined as “A light dramatic work in which highly improbable plot situations, exaggerated characters, and often slapstick elements are used for humorous effect”. And “The broad or spirited humor characteristic of such works”. Or “A ludicrous, empty show; a mockery: e.g. The Maurice Iwu-conducted 2007 election was a farce. Most often, the term “anarchy” describes the simple absence of publicly recognized government or enforced political authority or a state of lawlessness or political disorder due to the absence of governmental authority. When used in this sense, anarchy may or may not imply political disorder or lawlessness within a society. In another sense, anarchy may not refer to a complete lack of authority or political organization, but instead refer to a social state characterized by absolute direct democracy or libertarianism.
Nation”, that would have been too obvious, isn’t it? But what exactly is their glory there? Oil spills, dirty and foul-smelling creeks, gas-flaring and irresponsible governors and local chiefs? All these and the corruption have given the state’s slogan a hollow ring.
the oil? Last I heard, those solid minerals are mined by individuals who never make any returns to the Federal Government, and the Federal Government is in full awareness of this but cannot do anything about it because these are powerful illegal miners.
Plateau is “Home of Peace and Tourism”. My wife was born, bred and buttered in Jos, the capital. Its cool climate and cultural landmarks have always made it an attraction for the rare tourists who make it to Nigeria, but Plateau has been plagued by religious and ethnic violence promoted and sustained by evil, calculating politicians that have killed hundreds. What have they turned one of the most beautiful environments in the world into?
Benue is “Food Basket of the Nation”, more like “Basket-mouth of the Nation” to me. I don’t see the baskets of food. Most of them disappear into neighbouring Cameroun. But really, you should see their yams.
Kwara proclaims itself a “State of Harmony”, well, one thing for sure, the Sarakis have harmonised all the resources and even the people of the state so much that I think the slogan should simply be “The Sarakis’ Own State”. Abia is “God’s Own State”, no more, no less. (Let’s dance to Fuji music – apologies to late Ayinde Barrister). Yes, indeed. Why not “God’s Own People”? God gave Abia Orji Kalu, and the state has never been the same again. I know of only one God’s own people, and they are not in Abia State. They give Igbos a bad name.
OK, you tell me. Nigeria does not fall into this category of anarchy. But how do you describe a country where one of its authority agencies, the Police, openly and brazenly waylay and collect money from motorists on the highways everyday; or where political thugs who call themselves transport union members, run amok killing, maiming and intimidating their opponents and ordinary citizens on a daily basis in Ibadan and other capitals around the country; or where kidnapping goes on unabated in the eastern part of the country or un-checked religious and ethnic strife in the northern parts of the country, or where the judiciary colludes with corrupt politicians to deliver spurious judgments detrimental to democratic and political enfranchisement and progress of the people or indeed, a country where political leaders (s)elected and entrusted to give us succour and progress brazenly steal and loot the treasury everyday?
As for Kaduna, it earned the label of “Liberal State” for its cosmopolitan and lively atmosphere. However, it has suffered from several bouts of religious violence, including the 2002 Miss World riots that killed 200 people after Muslims were angered by an article about the beauty pageant. Just last year, when President Jonathan picked Kaduna State Governor, Namadi Sambo, a Moslem, as his Vice-president, thus constitutionally paving the way for his Deputy Governor, Patrick Yakowa, a Christian, to become the new governor, there was some grumbling amongst the Moslems. Credit to Kadunans, they quickly sorted it out.
The good state of Bayelsa proclaims to the world on car number plates that it is the “The Glory of All Lands”. Thank God, they are not calling it “The Wealth of the
Some states have adopted more mundane slogans for their number plates. Nassarawa is “Home of Solid Minerals”, but where are the minerals to complement
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Others take a more abstruse approach. Yobe declares “The Young Shall Grow”, what the hell does that mean, really? How long will they grow?
Akwa Ibom is “Land of Promise”. Promising what? The killing of twins and the identification and punishment of children as witches? And Cross River as the “People’s Paradise”, well, maybe Obudu Cattle Ranch is the only paradise in the world. But I doubt it. I love the people of the two states, but they should discard all these bad cultural beliefs. Borno State is the inappropriately named “Home of Peace”, with Boko Haram fanatics running around burning churches and killing policemen. Home of Piece, I’d call it. I love Delta and Edo States. They are both hearty. Delta is the “The Big Heart”. More like the Big Art for me, with all the best “akpavin” and “skillo” located there. But what even makes it more heated is what exGovernor James Ibori did there. He proved that treasury looting and stealing is an art and a hit. Edo is “The
Podium Heart Beat”. How they let that dullard boy Lucky run roughshod over them for eight years is beyond me, but it proves indeed the Edos, Esans and the Akoko-Edos do have big beating hearts, warm and welcoming and, unsuspecting of dubious politicians. Adamawa is the “Land of Beauty”. I’d have agreed 100% were it not for the clueless retired naval officer with four wives who has made absolutely no impact on the state in the past four years and still wants to be there. One thing for sure, his fours wives are beautiful.
we are all here waiting. Zamfara is the “Farming is our Pride”. I hope so; I want to see the food aplenty. Let the people farm. If not, get the hell outta there, Governor. Taraba is “Nature’s Gift to the Nation”. Yes, that is right, together with Adamawa, a very beautiful tourist and natural paradise, but I see very little how nature is being exploited to the fullest here, thanks to clueless political leaders.
And “Coal City State”, Enugu State? Yes, the last time I heard about coal coming from Enugu was when I was in the primary school in the 1960s. Since then, all the coal must have disappeared into some people’s land and pockets.
“The Gateway State” is Ogun State’s contribution to meaningless sloganisation. Geographically, maybe it is a gateway to the country, but politically and economically, a state that for the past eight years has been a gateway to political killings and chicanery. Some people need jail here.
Jigawa is “The New World”, a lovely state whose only contribution to Nigeria’s economy is production of dates, yes, the fruit called date. Yes, nobody, even the inhabitants exploit this versatile fruit.
Ondo is the “Sunshine State” as if the sun only shines on them. With a moon shining ex-Governor, I didn’t see much sun here until Mimiko liberated them. Don’t rest on your oars, boy.
Kano, the “Centre of Commerce”. Really? Where are the famous groundnut pyramids we used to see in the 60s? Kano residents no longer plant groundnuts? They are perhaps more interested in the “commercial” pastime of increasing the population that makes Kano State the most densely populated state in the country.
Osun State’s “The State of the Living Spring” is an allusion to the great Osun River. This means these people still belive in African Traditional Religion. Good for them, but it did not help them for almost eight years where “Oyin ni o” was busy playing golf in Ada rather than governing the state, and a murderous senator waiting to take over. Now they have a “Teblik” in the state house, and the senator’s ambition thwarted, maybe things will change.
“Fountain of Knowledge” state, Ekiti, never cease to make me laugh. With all their professors and academicians, they might as well be illiterates. I’ve never seen a people more moribund. Yet they still have visions of Ibadan oppression of over 200 years ago. Inferiority complex! And talking of “Pacesetter State”, my very own State of Oyo, living on and regressing into past glory. Pacesetter indeed! Since 1999, they have been taking one pace forward and ten backwards. In fact, they have not set any pace for the last 20 years. They still don’t know how to get the hell out of political thuggery. Imagine giving the country its first official political godfather and reputation for political thuggery. Only God can forgive Oyo politicians. I can’t. Anambra is the “Home for All”. Last time I spoke to an Anambran, he confided to me that no non-indigene of Anambra had ever been sold land in Awka before. They simply don’t welcome foreigners. So how can it be home to all Nigerians? Ebonyi is “The Salt of the Nation”. I will be honest with you, I don’t know much about this obscure state. They hardly make any noise worth noting. Is their salt there or are we talking metaphorically here? Salt of the earth? Right here in Nigeria? You are kidding me. Katsina is the “State of Hospitality”. Sounds more to me like State of Hostility. The fact is that there’s narry a thing hospitable about that state. Turai Yar’Adua proved that to me. Rivers State is the “Treasure Base of the Nation”. It will be, I suppose. That’s why their immediate past governor looted the treasure as had never been seen before in Nigeria. By saying that, the good people of River States are practically inviting treasury looters to come and have a field day.
Sokoto is the “The Seat of the Caliphate”, aptly named, but what does that translate into, in terms of development and religious harmony? Feudalism at its worst! Does not give us confidence in democratic values and hopes. Niger State is “The Power State”. Why wouldn’t it be? What with two former military dictators of questionable characters coming from there, and one of them still thinking he holds the reins of power in his hands. Imo State is the “Land of Hope”. Or the “Eastern Heartland”. Why didn’t they add “and Glory”, and then I will know they are Americans? Actually, Imo people exude hope; I can say that – look at Nwakwo Kanu, Chioma Ajunwa and Emmanuel Amunike. But they have to do more than giving us Maurice Iwus. Incidentally, they are my in-laws, and I love them for their forthrightness. Gombe is the “Jewel in the Savannah”. Hmm. I don’t know what makes it a jewel, but it sure is in the savannah. Have they heard that savannahs sustain wheat, and other cereals? Bauch State is the “Pearl of Tourism”. Yes, with the game reserves, I suppose they can lay claim to that. And it was the home of our first Prime Minister, a very humble man called Sur Abubakar Tafawa Balewa. In Hausa the word Bauchi means the land of slaves. Bauchi and Adamawa were the two main sources of slaves for the Fulani Empire of Sokoto. Maybe that name is still working on them.
Kogi, another of my favourite state is aptly nicknamed “The Confluence State”, because the Rivers Niger and Benue join there. I’d rather call it “The Confused State” because of the shenanigans of its former Governors. The state has been cursed with treasury looters since day one of its creation. But by far the most famous and celebrated number plate in Nigeria is Lagos – “Centre of Excellence”. My honest opinion? And you don’t have to agree with me. Lagos is far from being a Centre of Excellence. Don’t let us delude ourselves. Governor Fashola might be doing a good job, but there remains 97% to be done to make Lagos truly a centre of excellence. That is a fact. It is still a dilapidated, disorganised, lawless city of violent crime, slums, traffic jams, expensive and pollution. Only 20 % of the money being spent on Abuja for selfish and ethnic reasons could be spent on Lagos to make it truly a Centre of Excellence that all Nigerians can be proud of. And lastly, but certainly not the least is our Abuja, Federal Capital Territory, or FCT. It is called “Centre of Unity”. All well and good, that’s what every patriotic Nigerian yearns for – unity. Have Nigerians heard of Unity in Diversity? Apparently No! We still don’t realise it that our diversity of tribes and tongues is supposed to be our unity and strength. And those unscrupulous politicians are not making it any easier. That is why I laugh when I think of Abuja as the Centre of Unity. Ask me: How many southerners has been the Minister of the FCT since the city was created? Many Nigerians still see it as a Northern city. Nigerians are either living with delusion or deliberately like to confuse and mislead themselves, convincing themselves that they are a sophisticated people of the world. I will not be surprised if in the nearest future, we hijack the phrase “God’s Own Country” from the Americans and start using it to describe our country. After all we like everything American even if we don’t like the people themselves. Wouldn’t you know it? But then: God Bless Nigeria and Nigerians. I just love my people. Akintokunbo Adejumo is the Global Coordinator of Champions For Nigeria, (www.championsfornigeria. org ) an organisation devoted to tackling corruption, promoting good governance and celebrating genuine progress, excellence, commitment, selfless and unalloyed service to Nigeria and the people of Nigeria. A graduate of the University of Ibadan, Nigeria (1979) and University of Manitoba, Canada (1985), he also writes on topical issues and has been published in newspapers and internet media including Nigeriaworld.com, Nigeria Today Online, Nigerians In America, Nigeria Village Square, Champions Newspaper, ChatAfrik. com, African News Switzerland, New Nigerian Politics, Gamji.com, Codewit.com, Nigerian Horizon.com, Nigerian Muse.com and TIMELESS Magazine amongst others.
Kebbi is the “Land of Equity”. For a state that used to be part of the Sokoto Caliphate and introduced Sharia laws, I wonder where the Equity is coming from. But
MAY 2011
TIMELESS
37
Random Musings with Ayodeji Jeremiah
The Reason for your Being
T
here is this story a certain quite popular man of God in Lagos told about an encounter he had in London with a popular motivational speaker and pastor from the Bahamas. He was attending a pastors’ conference at which this great speaker had been one of the conference speaker. He purchased a book written by this speaker and went up to him to have it autographed. The speaker asked for his name and then wrote on the book, “Tony, Die Empty.” The pastor didn’t quite understand what was meant by that statement until a while later when that same speaker on another occasion expounded on it in another sermon. He explained that the place where you find the greatest treasures on earth, the place where you find the most wealth is in the graveyard. This is because that is where you find books that were never written, symphonies that were never composed, paintings that were never made, houses that were never built, pastors that were never ordained, churches that were never planted, geniuses that never saw the light of the day, babies that were never born, marriages that were never contracted and so on. The graveyard is full of people that died with their purposes, their visions, their missions, their skills, their talents, their abilities, their ambitions, and their gifts. When Jonah was asked by God to go to Nineveh and warn them of their sins, he felt otherwise and decided to go elsewhere. The only other place in the whole Bible where any other mention is made of Jonah apart from the prophetic book that goes by his name is in 2 Kings 14:25. His primary purpose and responsibility in life was not to any one of Israel’s kings. It was to Nineveh, the capital of Assyria (Israel’s sworn enemy). When he therefore decided to go against the reason for his being, God caused certain events of catastrophic proportions to take place in his life, which eventually forced him to go in line with God’s purpose.
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TIMELESS
MAY 2011
Every one of us on this earth has a reason for our being here. No matter the circumstances of our birth, nobody is here by mistake. There is a particular reason why you were born. Some call what I am talking about purpose. Others call it assignment. Others call it calling. I am not talking about full time ministry. I am talking about a problem that you were created to solve for others. It is something you love doing passionately and are very good at. Some of us were committed into it like the prophet Samuel, some of us stumbled into it like Moses, some of us were forced into it by circumstances beyond our control as in Jonah’s case and also the Apostle Paul and some of us were born into it as in the case of our Lord Jesus Christ For some of us, it is big like in the case of Paul and for some of us it is small like in the case of Timothy, Barnabas, John Mark and Silas. Big or small, it is nevertheless important. Paul wouldn’t have succeeded in his assignment without the help of these men. It isn’t all the apostles that have gospels written by and named after them. Dr. Luke was not among the apostles but by association with Paul was able to put together the gospel according to Luke. The same goes for John Mark whose information for the book written by him (the gospel according to Mark) was supplied by the Apostle Peter. I am sure the name Paul Allen does not strike a chord with most of us but Bill Gates is a household name. Both started Microsoft together in 1976 and built it up. Paul Allen is a billionaire in his own rights. Microsoft wouldn’t exist today without his inputs. So you need others in the fulfilment of your own personal purpose. Even in the pursuit of a corporate vision, one person alone cannot do it all. Jesus needed the 12 apostles and the over 70 disciples he had while in ministry. Whatever your purpose or assignment or responsibility and no matter how small or insignificant it may be, you have to be committed to it and enlist the help of others. You must however be wary of people who don’t respect your purpose and vision no matter who they may be and how close they may be to you. God has supplied the ability each and every one of us needs to fulfil our assignment or purpose. Some call what I am talking about potential. Others call it gifting. Some call it ability. Others refer to it as talent. Whatever it is however, it is your responsibility to discover it. Nobody can do that for you. Others may prod you in that direction but they can’t help you bring it to the fore. Moses was a prophet while Joshua was a warrior. They had different abilities
for their different purposes. Haggai was a prophet while Zerubbabel was a governor. While God used Zerubbabel to lead and instruct the returned Jews in the rebuilding of Jerusalem, it was actually Haggai that God spoke to directly, who saw God’s visions for the returned Jews. To make your assignment on earth to succeed requires you to have passion for your purpose and training to develop your ability and talent. There is a popular saying amongst writers that ‘writers are born and not made’ but that does not negate the importance of practise as these same writers turn around to say ‘creativity is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. David spent his years as a shepherd-boy and leader of a rag-tag army in the wilderness being prepared for his eventual role as a warrior king. We didn’t hear anything about Jesus for eighteen years. Paul studied under the great Jewish teacher Gamaliel and spent years later persecuting the early Jewish Christians. All these eventually paid off when he himself became an apostle of God. Training, learning, coaching is of the utmost importance in the pursuit of your purpose. Zeal, yearning, passion cannot also be neglected. You have got to keep the fire burning. The great motivational speaker, Dr. Mike Murdock once said that the saddest tragedy of life is a heart that has not caught fire. In the race called life, there are going to be lots of bumps on the road, speed tickets, traffic jams and accidents. But you need to be able to defeat all of this in order to reach your destination. Paul was beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, imprisoned and bitten by a snake but he was able to say “I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” You need to be able to stay above every situation that threatens your destiny. Finally, you need God. You need Him to discover your purpose, you need Him to discover your potential, you need Him to keep your passion burning, you need Him to keep you on the right path and keep that path illuminated. You need Him to bring the right people into your life. However, above all that you need the right attitude and the right frame of mind. You also need to ask yourself these questions and provide the right, truthful answers to them: (1) What is my purpose in life and why am I here on earth? (2) What is my vision and where am I going? (3) What is my mission and how will I get there? I leave you with these words from Dr. Mike Murdock: “There are four kinds of people who always fail; the undecided, the unlearned, the unfocused and the unexcited.”
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