Milwaukee Family

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Adoption through foster care Family

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check out our calendar of events FALL / WINTER 2013 | Complimentary

The Benefits

of being BEING

Involved PLUS Inside

When your child has special needs


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Fall / winter 2013

Welcome to Milwaukee Family Magazine! Publishers Maureen & Tom Slattery

Editor Cynthia Strayer

Editorial Specialist Jill Slattery

Contributing Writers Kim Seidel

Advertising Margo Lehmann

Art Director Nicole Hesse

Graphic Designer Peggy Duffy

Office Manager

Whether you have picked this magazine up before or this is your first time reading, we hope you enjoy the articles designed to meet some of the concerns of today’s parents, grandparents and other family members. In this issue, we address the importance of children being involved, whether it is sports, the arts or other clubs and organizations. This involvement benefits our children in many ways, especially when it comes to their development. Our cover story focuses on Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts and 4-H clubs, but the principles extend to all clubs and organizations. It really comes down to what your own child’s interests are. If you are a parent of a child with special needs, you may find the article on suggestions for every day living helpful. We have included a couple of informational websites for more information. Perhaps you are someone who has thought about being a foster parent or adopting a child. What about adopting a child from foster care? While many foster care children return home to their families, there are still many children in the Milwaukee area that need a home, whether it is a foster home or a permanent home. Besides a home, these children need a family who will love them. Read some of the shared stories about foster care and adoption. Because our goal is to provide quality information for families, some of the other topics is this issue include: back-to-school, pediatrics, toddlers and tantrums, the importance of recess and fun things to do with your children or grandchildren. Raising a family can be a challenge, but it also has many rewards.

Paulette Koeppen

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temper Tantrums | 7 when your toddler or preschooler has a temper tantrum.

Adoption in your backyard | 9 Enjoy stories of families whose lives have been changed

back to school check-ups | 16 what to ask the Pediatrician and more

involvement in the arts | 22 They offer many benefits for your child's future

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Joining Clubs is Beneficial Being involved helps with child development in many positive ways.

special needs What are special needs

12 milwaukee family FALL / WINTER 2013 | 3


cover story

Joining Clubs and Organizations is

Very Beneficial

By Cyndi Strayer

Many parents know their children benefit developmentally from being involved in sports, including exercise and learning the value of teamwork. Being involved in the arts, such as music, drawing, painting, theater, etc., is also valuable to our children’s development through creative thinking, interpretation skills and so much more. Even being a member of various clubs and organizations, such as 4-H, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, can be just as beneficial to a child’s development, if not more. All of these groups give our children a chance to get away from the television, video game systems and cell phones and do something. Many of these opportunities give our children a chance to explore many varied and healthier activities. Their involvement also helps children stay out of trouble and gives them a chance to meet others with similar interests in a comfortable environment. These friendships often last a lifetime. Children build and learn new skills that aid in their development as a people while building their self-confidence. These new skills often include: Teamwork Independence Leadership and Responsibility Values and Civic Mindedness Best of all, children learn these skills while having fun and doing things they enjoy.

Girl Scouts

“In Girl Scouts,” Christy L. Brown, chief executive of Girl Scouts of Wisconsin Southeast, says, “girls discover the fun, friendship and power of girls together.” As a premier leadership organization for girls and an expert on their growth and development, the 4 | FALL / WINTER 2013 milwaukee family

One favorite Boy Scout activity is the Ropes Course.

mission of Girl Scouts is to build girls’ courage, confidence and character. “We have identified the three key elements to leadership: girls DISCOVER themselves and their values; CONNECT to others and TAKE ACTION to make the world a better place,” Brown says. “At Girl Scouts,” Brown continued, “activities are girl-led, which gives girls the opportunity to learn by doing in a cooperative learning environment. To accomplish this, programming focuses on 15 short-term and intermediate goals that help girls gain specific knowledge, skills, attitudes, behaviors and values. These outcomes, or goals, work in tandem with the three keys to leadership and combined, they make up the Girl Scout Leadership Experience curriculum.” Girls complete their leadership journey by earning badges and having shared experiences with other girls where they discuss and generate ideas that girls explore together. “As girls progress through the levels from Daisy to Ambassador, their awards signify attaining


Through the use of LEGO MINDSTORMS, Girl Scouts participated in FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology) Lego competitions, which introduces girls to STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math).

new and higher levels of knowledge and skills, and ultimately a deeper understanding of what it means to be a leader who makes a difference in the world,” expressed Brown. When asked how the Girl Scout organization knows that their Leadership Experience is truly beneficial to girls’ development, Brown replied, “The Girl Scouts of the USA Girl Scout Research Institute recently conducted a study of more than 3,750 women, of whom roughly 2,000 were Girl Scout alumnae, and reached the conclusion that Girl Scouting works. Women who were Girl Scouts as girls display positive life outcomes to greater degree than women who were not Girl Scouts. These outcomes are sense of self, community service, civic engagement, education and income. And this is the case for all Girl Scout alumnae, across ages/ generations, social classes, races and engagement in other extra-curricular activities.” To remain strong in the 21st century, the Girl Scouts are constantly evolving to address new challenges in a changing world in order to continue to meet the needs and expectations of girls and adults. Recent initiatives include: Be a Friend First (BFF), a national bully-prevention initiative for middle school girls and Community Outreach Initiatives, which were developed to address the needs of girls in the most disadvantaged communities in southeastern Wisconsin. These initiatives were specially designed to bring the Girl Scout Leadership Experience to girls who might need financial assis-

2013 State 4-H Youth Conference: More than 400 youth and adults from around Wisconsin come to Madison in June to participate in educational seminars and learn important leadership skills.

tance, bilingual materials and specially trained volunteers and staff to lead Girl Scout troops with customized curriculum. Brown especially wants people to know, “It is easier than ever to take part in Girl Scouting. The experience can be as individual as each girl. Whether girls are looking for a year-round or short-term option, what’s unique about Girl Scouts is that there’s not just one way to be one. In addition to the traditional troop option, where girls meet regularly and share incredible experiences with girls their own age, from adventures to community action, girls can participate as individuals in camp, events, short-term special interest activities and even travel throughout the world.”

Boy Scouts

The Boy Scouts have been serving youth for more than 100 years, instilling lessons of character through outdoor activities. And, like the Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts offers a variety of programs designed to meet the various needs of the youth and the community. “Programs range in focus from career preparation, character education and service to leader development,” says Joshua Sova, development and marketing director of the Three Harbors Council, BSA, which serves the areas of Kenosha, Milwaukee and Racine. “We provide a faith-based program to youth of all ages, gender and economic standing.” The wide range of programs and activities offered throughout the year focuses on Scouting’s core values: Service, Leadership, Outdoors, Character and Achievement. “These various programs,” says Sova, “target specific needs and interest of clubs & organizations continued on pg. 6 milwaukee family FALL / WINTER 2013 | 5


clubs & organizations continued from pg. 5

youth. Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts focus on using the outdoors as a classroom to bring new interests to Scouts through rank advancement and merit badges. Youth are recognized for their accomplishments, giving them confidence. In our co-ed Venturing program, we focus on service and adventure. The Learning for Life program provides a curriculum that imparts values not always taught in the classroom: how to deal with bullying, how to eat healthy and what it means to be a good citizen. In our Exploring program we offer career exploration and on-thejob training to give experience to young adults and help them choose careers that fit their interests. In each of these programs the youth are having so much fun with their friends they do not realize all of the valuable lessons they are learning until much later in life.” Because of the ever-changing world, the Boy Scouts are also looking at the impact of these changes on our youth and what needs should be met in our communities. One thing is certain, scouting has and will continue to offer young people the opportunity to feel proud of who they are and what they accomplish. It rewards their small successes and encourages them to overcome fears and limitations and to strive for greater challenges. One current change that has been made is a new program, NOVA, was created to promote interest among youth to experiment in the Science Technology Engineering and Math fields. And according to Sova, “This program asks the youth to experiment and experience the world of science and math by looking at the world around them. They are encouraged to think about how their phone works or what might be the new technological feat of the future. Adventure and

technology have also been a focus of recently released merit badges for robotics, animation, game design, geocaching, kayaking and scuba diving.”

4-H Clubs of

Wisconsin 4-H is a part of the University of Wisconsin system. And though many people associate 4-H with animals and county fairs, it is so much more than that. Dale Leidheiser, state director, youth development coordinator of Wisconsin 4-H, says that 4-H’ers across the nation are continually responding to the every day challenges in their communities and the world. As one of the nation’s largest youth development organizations, 4-H supports young people from elementary school through high school with programs designed to shape future leaders and innovators by fostering an innovative, “learn by doing” approach with proven results. In other words, the young people are engaged in hands-on learning activities in the areas of science, citizenship and healthy living. The 4-H Study of Positive Youth Development, a longitudinal study conducted by the Institute for Applied Research in clubs & organizations continued on pg. 26

We’re so excited you’re excited! Tell us more about yourself: Name

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How can we reach you? Parent/Caregiver Street City

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Meanwhile, discover more at www.gswise.org 6 | FALL / WINTER 2013 milwaukee family


toddlers

When Your Toddler or Preschooler has a

Temper Tantrum

T

Temper tantrums are unpleasant and disruptive behaviors or emotional outbursts. They often occur in response to unmet needs or desires. Tantrums are more likely to occur in younger children or anyone else who cannot express their needs or control their emotions when they are frustrated. Temper tantrums or “acting-out” behaviors are natural during early childhood development. Children have a normal and natural tendency to assert their independence as they learn they are separate beings from their parents. This desire for control often shows up as saying “no” often and having tantrums. These are worsened by the fact that the child may not have the vocabulary to express his or her feelings. Tantrums usually begin around age 12 - 18 months. They get worse between two and three years old, then decrease rapidly until age four. After age four, they should rarely occur. Being tired, hungry or sick can make tantrums worse or more frequent.

WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS A TANTRUM

When your child has a temper tantrum, it is important that you stay calm. It helps to remember that tantrums are normal -- they are NOT your fault. You are NOT a bad parent, and your son or daughter is NOT a bad child. Shouting at or hitting your child will only make the situation worse. A quiet, peaceful response and atmosphere, without “giving in” or breaking the rule that you just set will reduce stress and make both of you feel better. You can also try gentle distraction, switching to activities your child enjoys or making a funny face. If you are not at home during a tantrum, try to carry your child to a quiet place, such as the car or a rest room. Keep the child safe until the tantrum has ended. Temper tantrums are an attention-seeking behavior. One strategy to minimize the length and severity of the tantrum is to ignore

the behavior. As long as the child is safe and not being destructive, walking away to another room in the house may shorten the episode because now the drama has no audience. Sometimes the child will follow and continue the tantrum. Do not talk or react until the behavior stops. Then, calmly discuss the issue and offer alternatives without giving in to the child’s demand.

PREVENTING TEMPER TANTRUMS

Make sure that your child eats and sleeps at his or her usual times. If your child no longer takes a nap, it is still important to have some quiet time. Lying down for 15-20 minutes or resting with you while you read stories together at regular times of the day can help prevent tantrums. Other methods to try to prevent tantrums include: Use an upbeat tone when asking your child to do something. Make it sound like an invitation, NOT an order. For example, “If you put your mittens and hat on, we’ll be able to go to your play group.” Don’t battle over unimportant things like which shoes your child wears or whether he or she sits in the high-chair. Safety is what matters, such as not touching a hot stove, keeping the car seat buckled and not playing in the street. As the temper tantrum continued on pg. 8

milwaukee family FALL / WINTER 2013 | 7


temper tantrum continued from pg. 7

American Academy of Pediatrics experts put it, “while your toddler or preschooler will be saying ‘no’ to everything..., you should be saying ‘no’ only the few times a day when it is absolutely necessary.” Offer choices whenever possible. For example, let your child pick what clothes to wear and what stories to read. A child who feels independent in many areas will be more likely to follow rules when it is a must. Do NOT offer a choice if one doesn’t truly exist.

WHEN TO SEEK HELP

If temper tantrums are getting worse and you do not think you can manage them, seek the advice of your health care provider. Also get help if you find yourself becoming angry and yelling, or if you are worried that you may react to your child’s behavior with physical punishment. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you call your pediatrician or family physician if:

Tantrums get worse after age 4. Your child injures himself or herself or others, or destroys property during tantrums. Your child holds his or her breath during tantrums, especially if he or she faints. Your child also has nightmares, reversal of toilet training, headaches, stomachaches, anxiety, refuses to eat or go to bed or clings to you.

Fun Things to Do with Your Child or Grandchild Children like to keep busy and the Greater Milwaukee Area offers many activities and opportunities for fun for all. Here are some great examples:

Pizza and Games. What child doesn’t like pizza and a game room? Truth is, most adults enjoy these things, too. So, why not visit StoneFire Pizza or another favorite pizza place? Bowling. Bowling has always been a favorite pastime, especially in Milwaukee. Check out your local bowling alley for open bowling times. Go to the Movies. Today, movie theaters are not just a place to go and see a movie. Many of them, have it all: restaurants, ice cream shops, babysitting and more. They are also a place that offers birthday party packages, such as Marcus Theaters. Create or View Art. For those who are into creating and art, try a local pottery shop, such as Touch of Glaze, or a bead store, such as Artist and Display. Pottery stores often allow children to pick out their favorite pottery piece and paint it; while a bead store will often offer a class to teach children how to make a specific necklace or bracelet. If you would rather view art, the Milwaukee Art Museum is fun for the whole family. Skate Around. Whether it is on ice or on wheels, there are places available in the Milwaukee area that offer skating year round, such as the Pettitt Ice Center, the county park systems and more. Also, be sure to check in your own communities, as there are other skating venues out there that may be closer to your home. Learn Something New. If the children in your life are inquisitive and like to learn, why not check out the Betty Brinn Children’s Museum or Discovery World? If your child is older, he or she may also like a trip to the Milwaukee Public Museum. Other learning options include the Milwaukee County Zoo, the planetarium and nature centers to name a few. Water Fun. What kid, young or old, doesn’t like a water park? Best of all, you don’t have to travel to the Dells because here in southeastern Wisconsin we have Country Springs and Paradise Landing. These are just a few ideas. There are still tons of options that include everything from miniature golf to rock climbing and everything in-between.

8 | FALL / WINTER 2013 milwaukee family


adoption & foster care

Adoption in Your Own

Backyard

When people think of adoption, they often visualize a foreign-born child rescued from an orphanage, being brought to the United States. But did you know there are thousands of children in foster care in the Milwaukee community who are or may become available for adoption? While many children who enter foster care eventually are reunited with their families of origin, other children are not able to return to their homes. In those cases, adoptive homes are found. The many children in the Milwaukee area who need a home, whether it is a foster home or a permanent home, span a wide range of ages and personalities. But the one thing they all have in common is a need to find a family who will love them for who they are. Here are some shared stories about foster care and adoption:

to this woman, who also was a foster mom. Over the years, Bonita witnessed this woman’s willingness to take in children regardless race, gender or physical limitations. It was this woman’s love that inspired Bonita to become a foster parent herself. Bonita began serving as a Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin Community Services (formerly Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin) foster parent in 2002. In 2004, she became the foster mother for a girl she eventually adopted in 2009. In 2005, Bonita fostered another girl with whom she also developed a strong attachment. As she considered adopting the second child, she had no idea the long and winding road ahead. By 2007, the second girl’s parents’ rights were under review and it appeared as though Bonita would be able to adopt her. Parental rights, however, were not adoption continued on pg. 10

She needs

something

PERMANENT

Foster parents know the importance of never giving up on a child

When Bonita was a child, her mother passed away and her father was forced to consider placing some of his 11 children with relatives or in foster care. But he was determined to keep his family together, no matter what challenges he faced. One individual who helped Bonita’s family through difficult times was a neighbor who always found time for Bonita and her siblings. Bonita grew very attached

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adoption continued from pg. 9

terminated. Despite this change in direction, Bonita remained committed to this child. She worked closely with the girl’s father and social service providers to take steps toward reunification. Bonita facilitated communication, transportation and more to help give this father the best chance possible to regain custody of his daughter. Over time, it became clear reunification would not be possible. Eventually parental rights were terminated, opening the door for Bonita to begin the adoption process. She wept when she found out she soon would be able to provide this girl with a permanent home with a loving mother and sister. “It’s amazing that a single foster care parent can juggle the day-to-day demands of working a full-time job, scheduling doctors, dentists and therapy appointments, school activities, after school care and more while keeping focused on providing a structured, nurturing and loving environment,” said Claire Roehre, foster and adoption services specialist for Community Services. “Bonita’s focus on giving these children the best lives possible fuels her drive to never give up!”

Relatively speaking, it’s a family affair

Then Emma received a call from her brother who was in jail. His three-year-old son was in foster care in Florida, and he asked Emma if she would be willing to take care of him. The request took her by surprise, but she loved her brother and was raised to put family first, so she agreed to take in her nephew. A conversation with her nephew’s social worker confirmed the need to find a home for him. Emma was surprised to learn she needed a license to care for her own flesh and blood. However, she didn’t hesitate to complete the steps necessary to become approved for long-term relative care. Later that year, after Emma was licensed through Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin Community Services (formerly Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin) to become a foster parent, her nephew was placed in her home. Since then, his father and mother have terminated their parental rights. At age 11, Emma’s nephew is still with her today. Over the years, Emma’s definition of family has expanded even more. She began fostering other children, even converting rooms of her home to bedrooms so that she can accommodate more kids. Emma is still busy with her family’s kids. Her family is just a bit bigger now.

Emma Shelton has six adult children and 16 grandchildren. While she had heard about foster parenting, she was busy with her own family’s kids.

adoption continued on pg. 11

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adoption continued from pg. 10

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The power of a mother’s love

With six children, four biological and two adopted, many parents’ hands would be full. But Paul and Dawn Koepke have found room in their home and their hearts for another child and her family. The Koepkes, who serve as foster parents licensed through Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin Community Services (formerly Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin), learned that a child needed their help in fall 2008. Nora, a fragile newborn impacted by the cocaine in her biological mother’s system, would need extra special care. The Koepkes weren’t deterred. When they arrived at the hospital to meet Nora, the Koepkes were also greeted by Nora’s biological parents, who wanted to ensure their daughter was going to a safe and loving home. After their initial meeting, the Koepkes wrote letters to Nora’s biological parents, sharing stories about how Nora was growing. Over time, as Nora’s biological mother shared her deepest emotions, she developed a special bond with Dawn. She admitted she had made a number of bad choices, and she felt as if she would never be able to have the life she had hoped for with her daughter. When Nora’s biological mother felt like giving up, Dawn refused to accept that and consistently provided encouragement. She believed in the power of a mother’s love. With ongoing support from the Koepkes, initial visitations went from twice a week to four times a week. Nora’s biological parents purchased and sent clothing and other personal items as a way to be involved in Nora’s life. Her biological mother was required to take random drug tests while attending parenting classes, but she also began to proactively visit the social worker to provide additional samples. She wanted to demonstrate her sincere desire to be the mother Nora deserved. By exceeding required expectations, Nora’s biological parents hoped to have her home for Christmas, but this did not happen. The news was devastating, so the Koepkes helped soften the blow by bringing Nora to visit her biological family’s home. A cheerful nursery with a ladybug theme and gifts from family and friends were waiting for her. Nora’s family spent the evening with her – playing, singing nursery rhymes and telling her how much they loved her. After spending time together over Christmas, the families felt an even closer bond. Their letters grew longer and were much more positive because of continued achievements. The encouragement continued, and a few months later, Nora was reunited with her biological parents. Today, Nora’s family continues to have a wonderful relationship with the Koepkes. Through her mother’s love, and Dawn’s faith in her mother’s ability to make the necessary changes, Nora has found her way home. Becoming a foster or adoptive parent is not hard. All you need is love and patience to share with a child.

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special needs

What Are

S “ pecial Needs”? By Terri Mauro

“Special Needs” is an umbrella underneath which a staggering array of diagnoses can be wedged. Children with special needs may have mild learning disabilities or profound cognitive impairment; food allergies or terminal illness; developmental delays that catch up quickly or remain entrenched; occasional panic attacks or serious psychiatric problems. The designation is useful for getting needed services, setting appropriate goals and gaining understanding for a child and stressed family.

Minuses and Pluses:

“Special needs” are commonly defined by what a child can’t do -- by milestones unmet, foods banned, activities avoided, experiences denied. These minuses hit families hard, and may make “special needs” seem like a tragic designation. Some parents will always mourn their child’s lost potential, and many conditions become more troubling with time. Other families may find

that their child’s challenges make triumphs sweeter, and that weaknesses are often accompanied by amazing strengths.

Different Concerns:

Pick any two families of children with special needs, and they may seem to have little in common. A family dealing with developmental delays will have different concerns than one dealing with chronic illness, which will have different concerns than one dealing with mental illness or learning problems or behavioral challenges. This Parenting Special Needs section devotes sections to the following specific issues: medical, behavioral, developmental, learning, and mental health.

Medical Issues:

Medical issues for children include serious conditions like cancer and heart defects, muscular dystrophy and cystic fibrosis; chronic conditions like asthma and diabetes; congenital conditions like cerespecial needs continued on pg. 14

12 | FALL / WINTER 2013 milwaukee family


We serve families and providers who care for children and young adults with special health care needs through: ‡ ,QIRUPDWLRQ DVVLVWDQFH DQG UHIHUUDOV ‡ 3UREOHP VROYLQJ ‡ 'LDJQRVLV VSHFLILF LQIRUPDWLRQ ‡ 3DUHQW WR SDUHQW FRQQHFWLRQV ‡ $FFHVV WR WUDLQLQJ RSSRUWXQLWLHV ‡ +HDOWK EHQHILWV DVVLVWDQFH ‡ /LPLWHG VHUYLFH FRRUGLQDWLRQ /RFDWHG RQ WKH ILUVW IORRU RI &KLOGUHQ¡V +RVSLWDO RI :LVFRQVLQ. Call (414) 266-NEED (6333) or toll-free (800) 234-KIDS (5437).

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The Southeast Regional Center for Children and Youth with Special Health Care Needs (CYSHCN) is funded by the Wisconsin CYSHCN Program, Division of Public Health, Department of Health Services with funds from the Maternal Child Health Title V Services Block Grant, MCH Bureau, Health Resources and Services Administration, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin and The Daniel M. Soref Charitable Trust. 131197

milwaukee family FALL / WINTER 2013 | 13


special needs cont. from pg. 12

bral palsy and dwarfism; and health threats like food allergies and obesity. Children with medical issues may require numerous tests, long hospital stays, expensive equipment and accommodations for disabilities. Their families have to deal with frequent crises, uncertainty and worry.

Behavioral Issues:

Children with issues of behavior don’t respond to traditional discipline. With diagnoses like ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, Dysfunction of Sensory Integration and Tourette Syndrome, they require specialized strategies that are tailored to their specific abilities and disabilities. If those strategies are not developed and used, kids with behavioral issues throw their families

into chaos and are seriously at risk for school problems. Their parents need to be flexible and creative.

Developmental Issues:

Developmental disabilities are some of the most devastating for a family to deal with, changing visions of the future and providing immediate difficulties in caring for and educating a child. Diagnoses like autism, Down syndrome and intellectual disabilities often cause children to be removed from the mainstream, and parents must be fierce advocates to make sure their children receive the services, therapy, schooling and inclusion they need and deserve.

Learning Issues:

Children with learning disabilities like dyslexia and Central Auditory Pro-

cessing Disorder struggle with schoolwork regardless of their intellectual abilities. They require specialized learning strategies to meet their potential and avoid self-esteem problems and behavioral difficulties. Parents of learning-challenged kids need to be persistent both in working with their reluctant learners and with the schools that must provide the help these children need.

Mental Health Issues:

A child’s problems with anxiety or depression can sneak up on parents; problems with attachment may smack them right in the face. Living with a child with mental health issues can put family members on a roller coaster of mood swings and crises and defiance. Parents have to find the right professionals to help, and

Small victories can lead to great progress. Penfield can help.

We set the stage for children to succeed in school and life. Through a partnership with Kohl’s Cares, we offer the Kohl’s Building Blocks Program, providing Milwaukee-area children with early education and therapy services. To learn more, call 414.344.7676 or visit penfieldchildren.org.

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Client: Penfield

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make hard decisions about therapy, medications, and hospitalization. The consequences of missed clues and wrong guesses can be significant.

Common Concerns:

Although every special-needs child is different and every family is unique, there are some common concerns that link parents of challenged kids, including getting appropriate care and accommodations; promoting acceptance in the extended family, school and community; planning for an uncertain future; and adjusting routines and expectations. Parents of children with special needs are often more flexible, compassionate, stubborn and resilient than other parents. They have to be.


Real Suggestions for Everyday Living When Your Child Has Special Needs Raising a child with special health care needs can be a complex and demanding job. With great love and care, parents manage their child’s health and developmental needs while juggling the rest of their family’s life. And yet, many of these parents say there is little information about how to manage their child’s ongoing health care needs in the context of their daily life. Among of the struggles these parents of children with special needs experience are the daily strong emotions about their child’s situation and the impact it has on everyone in the family. Some of these emotions include fear, anxiety, sadness, isolation, anger and exhaustion. Here are some strategies from other parents who have children with special needs to help deal with the emotional impact of having a child with special needs: Shift your perspective—Focus on what IS rather than what ISN’T. Also, try not to sweat the small stuff. Be prepared—Have an emergency plan. It also helps to learn everything you can about your child’s special needs. Cultivate community—Seek out families who have children with special needs. They understand your situation and may be able to offer comfort and support. Advocate—Take an active role in advocating for your child by working with your child’s doctor, doing fundraising, researching, getting involved in legislative groups or by educating others. Take care of yourself—Whatever you can do for yourself to renew and refresh (listening to music, laughter, sleep, exercise, taking a break, asking for help, etc.) do it! Parents of children with special needs feel the best way to help their child deal with their situation is to make time for their child to ‘just be a kid’ and enjoy life. They do this by making life as normal as possible, by having their child’s friends over for playdates, having their child attend a diagnosis-specific camp or by getting their child involved with activities. For more information about being a parent of a child with special needs, check out the following links: http://cshcn.org/what-helps-you/managing-your-emotions http://cshcn.org/what-helps-you/helping-yourchild-deal-their-specials-needs

milwaukee family FALL / WINTER 2013 | 15


pediatrics

Back to School Check-Ups: What to Ask the Pediatrician and More

Between buying new school supplies and meeting your children’s teachers, back to school season is a busy time. But parents should not forget to prep for the school year by considering health and wellness. The first step is to schedule a visit to the doctor. “The start of a new school year is an excellent reminder to take kids to the pediatrician for their annual checkup,” says Dr. Thomas K. McInerny, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

To prepare for a healthy, safe and happy school year, the AAP is offering these tips for parents:

Doctor’s visit: Make the most of your visit to the pediatrician by making a list of issues to discuss.

Immunizations: Whether you’re the parent of a young child, a teen or a young adult heading to college, ask your pediatrician what immunizations your child is due to receive. Vaccines save lives and keep kids and adults healthy.

Nutrition: Talk with your child’s pediatrician about

healthful food choices. Then stock your kitchen and refrigerator with nutritious food, such as fresh fruit, low-fat dairy products, water and 100 percent fruit juice.

Limit soda consumption. Each 12-ounce soft drink contains approximately 10 teaspoons of sugar and 150 calories. Drinking just one can of soda a day increases a child’s risk of obesity by 60 percent. Exercise: Make sure your kids are getting plenty of exercise. Turn off the television and make time for sports teams, gymnastics classes and bike rides. Aim for at least an hour a day. Backpacks: Choose a backpack with wide, padded

shoulder straps and a padded back or a rolling backpack. Backpacks should never weigh more than 10 to 20 percent of your child’s body weight.

Getting there: Make sure your child has the necessary gear for getting to school. Whether your child is biking or walking, teach him or her about traffic safety. For bikers, ensure helmets fit properly. Those who take the bus should be instructed to stay seated and listen to the bus driver. If the bus is equipped with seat belts, children should wear them.

Sleep: Children and adolescents need plenty of sleep to be alert. A regular bedtime can help your child get on a healthy sleep schedule.

Bullies: A bully can pose a true threat to a child’s physical and mental well-being. Your pediatrician is well equipped to answer questions about mental health, too. Teach kids how to respond confidently to bullies and encourage them to tell an adult when there’s a problem. Remember, bullying can occur online, too. So keep tabs of your children’s social media use. 2524 E. Webster Place Suite 301, Milwaukee Corner of Downer & Webster Place

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College health: For kids heading to college, ask your pediatrician about coordinating health care with the school. More back to school health tips can be found at www.HealthyChildren.org. With a focus on safety and health, you can help make this school year successful for your kids.


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* Dealing with

Peer Pressure

A

As your children get older, their peers will influence them more and more. And there is no question that they are going to be faced with some difficult decisions. And some of these decisions may not have clear right or wrong answers—like should he or she play soccer or field hockey? Other decisions involve serious moral questions, like whether or not to cut class, try cigarettes or lie to you, the parent. Making decisions is hard enough, but when other people get involved and try to pressure you one way or another, it can be even harder. It’s something everyone has to deal with — even adults. So, how do you handle it? How do you help your child handle it?

Defining Peer Pressure

Your child’s peers will influence his or her life just by spending time together. Your child 18 | FALL / WINTER 2013 milwaukee family

will learn from them, and they will learn from your child. It’s only human nature to listen to and learn from other people in the same age group. However, it is important to remember that not all peer pressure is negative. Peers can also have a positive influence. Maybe another student in your child’s science class taught him an easy way to remember the planets in the solar system or someone on the soccer team has taught your daughter a cool trick with the ball. Maybe your child got others excited about his or her new favorite book, and now everyone’s reading it. These are examples of how peers positively influence each other every day. Sometimes peers influence each other in negative ways. For example, a few kids in school might try to get your child to cut class with them, your child’s soccer friend might try to convince your child to be mean to another player and never pass

*

her the ball, or a kid in the neighborhood might want your child to shoplift with him.

Why Do People Give in to Peer Pressure?

Some kids give in to peer pressure because they want to be liked, to fit in or because they worry that other kids might make fun of them if they don’t go along with the group. Others go along because they are curious to try something new that others are doing. The idea that “everyone’s doing it” can influence some kids to leave their better judgment, or their common sense, behind.

Walking Away From Peer Pressure

It is tough to be the only one who says “no” to peer pressure, but your child can do it. By simply talking to your child about paying attention to his or her


Making decisions is hard enough, but when other people get involved and try to pressure you one way or another, it can be even more difficult.

*

own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help them know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can also help your child stand firm, walk away and resist doing something when he or she knows better. As a parent, you have probably advised your child to “choose friends wisely.” Peer pressure is a big reason why you have said this. Having at least one other peer, or friend, who is willing to say “no,” too, can certainly take the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. So, continue to encourage your child to have friends with similar values who will back him or her up when he or she doesn’t want to do something. If your child finds himself faced with peer pressure while he’s alone, there are still things he can do. He can simply stay away from peers who pressure him to do stuff he knows is wrong. You can tell your daughter or son to say “no” and walk away. Better yet, suggest they find other friends and classmates to pal around with. If your child continues to face peer pressure and is finding it difficult to handle, recommend a talk with someone she trusts, whether that is you, a teacher or school counselor. Talking to a trusted adult can help the child feel better and prepare for the next time peer pressure looms.

Help your child out of the

comfort zone:

Be an encouraging parent this school year By Kim Seidel

With more children overscheduled these days than not, many parents wouldn’t think the need to push children to get involved would be an issue. Surprisingly, that’s not the case. “The high pressure on children to succeed holds many kids back from trying in the first place,” says Kristy Braunreiter, a parent educator. “The pressure doesn’t always come from parents, but society in general.” She continued by saying the media, too, showcases perfect performances by athletes and entertainers that children can easily assume happen overnight. They’re too young to realize that success requires hard work, practice and patience. “When children start a new activity, explain to them it will require hard work,” Braunreiter says. “This will help them to develop confidence over time.”

Consider your child’s personality

The initiative to participate also depends on a child’s personality. Braunreiter knows her nine-year-old son’s Type A personality wants to be the best immediately. That causes Lars to shy away from new programs. To help encourage children, set aside time to talk with them about their interests, Braunreiter suggests. “As parents, we know our children the very best,” she says. Point out their strengths; tell them these are gifts to share with others. Another mom, Jessica Apfel Miller, recognized that daughter Jada tended to have performance anxiety. At one point, her then 12-yearold daughter refused to consider joining show choir. “I knew in my heart of hearts that Jada wanted to try out for show choir,” Apfel Miller says. “It blew my mind when she told me that she didn’t want to try out.” This mom took action that other parents may find surprising: Apfel Miller decided to make Jada go through the auditions. She went so far as to walk Jada into school and turn in her permission sheet for try-outs that day. Although Jada admitted she was nervous, Miller could sense her excitement, too. “She was convinced she wasn’t going to make it, but I could see she felt good about trying out,” Apfel Miller says. “As her mom, I was proud that she got out of her comfort zone.” When Jada was selected for the show choir, Apfel Miller says Jada displayed a rollercoaster of emotions: relief, fear, worry and elation. comfort zone continued on pg. 20 milwaukee family FALL / WINTER 2013 | 19


comfort zone continued from pg. 19

And she continued to show her daughter encouragement, including through the first difficult days of show choir camp. “By the third day at camp, she found her confidence and was having so much fun,”Apfel Miller says. “Now you can find her and her girlfriends practicing their routines every chance they get.”

Support your child’s activities

Once a child chooses an activity, Braunreiter recommends learning about the program. Some children thrive on competition, while others prefer a more lowkey activity. Talk to coaches and program leaders about your questions and concerns. “A hesitant child is relying on you, his/her parent, for support and encouragement,” Braunreiter says. “They’re entrusting you to help them determine whether it’s a good fit for them.” Visit a class or practice session with your child to determine if it would offer a good experience for the child. Sometimes it helps a more reserved child to invite a friend to also participate in an activity.

When a child decides he/she would rather not participate in a program - or they aren’t accepted into an activity - give your child time before rushing to the next possibility, Braunreiter says. “If you make it too pressurized, it will backfire on you as the parent,” she says. “Your child needs to know that he/she being heard and respected.” However, when a child opts to get involved in an activity, follow through is important for both child and parent. Ensure the child attends practices and games. Commit to the season – no matter what challenges arise. Attend the events and games to cheer for him and to show your support. “This teaches them good life skills, and that’s what you want from an activity,” Braunreiter says. “This teaches them about work ethic and helps them to mature.” Kim Seidel has two active daughters, and often faces the challenge of whether to push or back away as their mother.

[ 10 tips to be an encouraging parent ]

1

2

Discuss that success requires hard work and doesn’t happen over-night.

Talk about confidence; it develops over time with a lot of practice and patience.

6

7

Visit with coaches and other parents to learn about specific programs.

Attend a class or practice session with your child to determine if it’s a good fit.

20 | FALL / WINTER 2013 milwaukee family

3 Consider your child’s personality when selecting activities.

8 If it doesn’t work out, don’t rush your child into selecting another activity.

4 Discover your child’s interests and dreams by truly listening to him or her.

9 Commit to the season and don’t allow your child to quit when it gets difficult.

5 Point out to your child his or her strengths as gifts to share with others.

10 Attend your child’s events and games as an encouraging parent, rather than a critical one.


Tips for Back-to-School

Essentials

Start the school year off in style with functional and fashionable school essentials. Everything from homework gear and tech supplies to music and desk accessories help students get the most out of their classes - and have some fun in the process.

Fashion-Forward Supplies

It’s no secret that geometric shapes, floral patterns, glitter and animal prints are hot trends for students of all ages. From backpacks and pencil pouches to highlighters and notebooks. Among the many must-have items are lanyards, folders and erasers. All are available in assorted patterns, shapes and colors to make every day a little easier and a lot more fashionable.

College-Bound Must-Have for Dorm

Anyone who has lived in a dorm room knows a compact refrigerator is a must. It’s a great place to store cold drinks, snacks, sandwiches and salad fixings. After all, nobody wants to walk down to the basement vending machine during an all-night study session. When selecting a mini-fridge, size is one of the most important considerations. You’ll want one small enough to stash under a desk but large enough to hold leftover pizza. Look for a compact fridge at your favorite retail store or online.

Advice for Multi-Tasking Moms Don’t Skip Breakfast. It’s important for the entire family to start the day off right. Breakfast gives you energy for the day and keeps you from caving into all the bad options when hunger hits mid-morning. Be Ready for Anything. Because of today’s hectic schedules, try stocking the fridge with nutritious snacks that are easy to grab and go. Take a Stroll. Always try to stay active. You may even want to make it a family affair by going on long evening walks together. It’s a great way to spend time together and reconnect. Play Guessing Games. Keep your muscles guessing by always changing your exercise routine. Buddy-up. If you hate to exercise alone, grab a friend and go for a hike. milwaukee family FALL / WINTER 2013 | 21


arts

Arts Involvement in the

Offers many benefits for your child’s future

As parents, we often sign our children up for many different activities because we want them to be well-rounded individuals with bright futures. With that said, when driving all over town getting this child to music lessons and that child to play practice, we sometimes wonder if these activities really provide our children with an extra advantage. The answer, according to most experts, is “yes.� Exposing children to the arts at a young age opens their minds to a bigger and more creative world. Having children involved in the arts gives them the opportunity to express themselves freely. It teaches creative thinking, which goes beyond the simple skills of learning how to draw, read a line or memorize a few notes. It also helps them make new connections, see patterns and interpret the world in a broader range of ways. Research indicates that music instruction trains the mind in ways beyond acquiring musical skills and knowledge. According the National Association of Music Merchants (NAMM) Foundation, studying an instrument increases spatial-temporal reasoning skills, or an ability to visualize in space and time. Music students develop the mental flexibility to think and read ahead while performing a precise task in the present. Exposing children to the arts from a young age has also shown to increase brain changes and enhance memory skills when compared to children 22 | FALL / WINTER 2013 milwaukee family


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entertainment

It’s A Kid’s Job

Playing helps kids learn and grow What would childhood be without time to play? Play, it turns out, is essential to growing up healthy. Research shows that active, creative play benefits just about every aspect of child development. “Play is behavior that looks as if it has no purpose,” says NIH psychologist Dr. Stephen Suomi. “It looks like fun, but it actually prepares for a complex social world.” Evidence suggests that play can help boost brain function, increase fitness, improve coordination and teach cooperation. 24 | FALL / WINTER 2013 milwaukee family

Dr. Suomi notes that all mammals— from mice to humans—engage in some sort of play. His studies offer some general insights into the benefits of play. Active, vigorous social play during development helps to sculpt the brain. The brain grows larger. Connections between brain areas may strengthen. Play also helps youngsters learn how to fit into their social group. Humans live in a highly complex social structure, says Dr. Suomi. “Through play, children learn to negotiate, to deal with strangers, to lose gracefully, to stop before things get out of hand and to follow rules,” he says. These lessons prepare youngsters for life after they leave their mothers. Play can help lay a foundation for learning the skills we need for social interactions. If human youngsters lack playtime, says Dr. Roberta Golinkoff, an infant language expert at the University of Delaware, “social skills will likely suffer. You will lack the ability to inhibit impulses, to switch tasks easily and to play on your own.” Play helps young children master their emotions and make their own decisions. It also teaches flexibility, motivation and confidence. Kids don’t need expensive toys to get a lot out of playtime. “Parents are children’s most enriching plaything,” says Dr. Golinkoff. Playing and talking to babies and children are vital for their language development. She says that kids who talk with their parents tend to acquire a vocabulary that will later help them in school; while those with parents who make a lot of demands, language is less well developed. The key is not to take over the conversation, or you’ll shut it down. Unstructured, creative, physical play lets children burn calories and develops all kinds of strengths, such as learning how the world works. In free play, children choose the games, make the rules, learn to negotiate and release stress. Free play often involves fantasy. If children, say, want to learn about being a fireman, they can imagine and act out what a fireman does. And if something scary happens, free play can help defuse emotions by working them out. “Sports are a kind of play, but it’s not the kids calling the shots,” says Dr. Golinkoff. It’s important to engage in a variety of activities, including physical play, social play and solitary play. “The key is that in


free play, kids are making the decisions,” she says. You can’t learn to make decisions if you’re always told what to do. Some experts fear that free play is becoming endangered. In the last two decades, children have lost an average of eight hours of free play per week. As media screens draw kids indoors, hours of sitting raise the risk for obesity and related diseases. When it comes to video games and other media, parents should monitor content, especially violent content, and limit the amount of time children sit. There’s also been a national trend toward eliminating school recess. It’s being pushed aside for academic study, including standardized test preparation. “Thousands of children have lost recess altogether,” says child development expert Dr. Kathryn Hirsh-Pasek of Temple University. “Lack of recess has important consequences for young children who concentrate better when they come inside after a break from the schoolwork.” Many kids, especially those in low-income areas, lack access to safe places to play. This makes their school recess time even more precious. In response to these changes, some educators are now insisting that preschool and elementary school children have regular periods of active, free play with other children. The type of learning that happens during playtime is not always possible in the classroom. School recess is also important because of the growing number of obese children in the United States. Running around during recess can help kids stay at a healthy weight. Play may also offer advantages within the classroom. In an NIH-funded study, Dr. Hirsh-Pasekm, Dr.Golinkoff and their colleagues found a link between preschoolers’ math skills and their ability to copy models of two- and three-dimensional building-block constructions. Play with building blocks—and block play alongside adults— can help build children’s spatial skills so they can get an early start toward the later study of science, technology, engineering or math. “In a way, a child is becoming a young scientist, checking out how the world works,” says Dr. Hirsh-Pasek. ”We never outgrow our need to play.” Older children, including teens, also need to play and daydream, which helps their problem-solving and creative imagination. Adults, too, need their breaks, physical activity and social interaction. At the NIH Clinical Center in Bethesda, Maryland, “Recreation therapy services are seen as essential to the patients’ recovery,” says Donna Gregory, chief of recreational therapy. She and her team tailor activities for both children and adults. Games can get patients moving, even for just minutes at a time, improves their functioning. Without play and recreation, people can become isolated and depressed. There’s therapeutic value in helping children and adults maintain what’s important to them, says Gregory. “When you are physically and socially active, it gives life meaning.”

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clubs & organizations continued from pg. 6

Youth Development at Tufts University, shows youth engaged with 4-H are: k Nearly two times more likely to get better grades in school k Nearly two times more likely to plan to go to college k 41 percent less likely to engage in risky behaviors k 25 percent more likely to positively contribute to their families and communities. Leidheiser explained that 4-H is based on the “BIG M” principle. “The B’ is about belonging,” he said. “All people have the need to belong. And having positive relationships with caring adults outside of the family helps a person build trust. Young people also need a

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4-H Clubs from around Rock County performed plays, sketches and musical numbers at the 2013 Rock County Music and Drama Festival.

safe environment where they feel save and free from injury, abuse or ridicule. They need the type of environment where they feel welcomed no matter what their backgrounds, beliefs, ideas and culture.” The I’ is for independence. “This involves the opportunity for self-determination,” says Leidheiser. 4-H offers its members 700 different projects which they can choose from. “It gives them the chance to choose what they want to. They also have a chance to elect the club officers, help in the community and in fundraising.” Basically, the young people are able to set their own goals, determine how they will get there and who they want to be as individuals. “They have the opportunity to be an active participant in the future; to see themselves as part of the future (family, work and community).” All of this is done through various learning activities, which are chosen by each individual. “The G’ is for Generosity,” says Leidheiser. “This is about valuing service for others. We want youth to identify need within their communities and to try to figure out a solution and then do something to change that.” And the M’ is for Mastery or achieving a certain level of expertise on a subject so you can share your knowledge with others. “This is an opportunity to learn and do different things for life,” said Leidheiser. “We want young people to get involved and develop to their full potential. We want to help them become successful in life, so we focus on competence, confidence, character, connection and caring.” The 4-H Study of Positive Youth Development, which has been worked on for nearly a decade, has discovered that, when compared to other youth, young people involved in 4-H: k Have higher educational achievement and motivation for future education k Are more civically active and make more civic contributions to their communities k Are shown to have had significantly lower drug, alcohol and cigarette use than their peers k 2.3 times more likely to exercise and be physically active k Report better grades, higher levels of academic competence, and an elevated level of engagement in school k Are more likely to pursue future courses or a career in science, engineering or computer technology


college

Steps to Managing Those

College Applications By Peter Van Buskirk

While you had the best intentions to complete those college applications during the summer, alas, they fell prey to those summer distractions. The campus visits, essay development and application preparations that, back in June, seemed to fit so logically into the empty spaces on the summer calendar, became another day’s work. Now that school has started, these tasks re-emerge on the radar screen with a new sense of urgency. The time for action is now! The good news is you still have time to do a good job with your applications. The reality, though, is the application process is fraught with complexity and procedural land mines that even the most diligent students find onerous on top of the regular demands of the classroom. To get from where you are to where you want to be as a college applicant, with minimal disruptions to your daily routine, you will need to remain focused and make good choices about how you use your time. The following strategies will give you a better chance of getting through the application process unscathed and emerging with happy outcomes.

1. Get organized today:

Read the directions on each application. Know what is required of you and when it is required. Enter this information on a planning calendar. Record meaningful dates and deadlines you must meet in completing your applications. Decide which standardized tests you want or need to take and enter the test dates as well as the registration deadlines. Post the calendar some place where it is easily referenced by you and your parents, such as your refrigerator or a family bulletin board.

2. Give yourself—and others—time to do a good job:

Establish your own deadlines for sending in the materials that are at least one week ahead of the actual deadlines. You should then work backwards to establish dates by which you need completed essays and letters of recommendation, allowing plenty of time (6-8 weeks) for these documents to be generated. By waiting until the last minute to get things started, you give up control of the process and lose your ability to put your best foot forward.

3. Pay attention to procedures and deadlines established by your school: Quite often, high

schools assist students in compiling and submitting their applications. Make sure you know the drill. If your school utilizes a data management system such as Naviance, use it to communicate profile information about yourself that can be helpful to individuals who will write letters on your behalf.

4. Keep things simple:

Eliminate schools from your list that are there because 1) you think it would be cool to see if you can get in, or 2) you’d feel better with a few more backup schools. You shouldn’t need to apply to more than eight schools—six is an even better number. Focus your energies on the applications for schools you have researched thoroughly and about which you really care—they are likely to fit you best.

5. Establish a game plan for your application:

Know how you want to come across to the admissions committees at each school and take stock of the opportunities you have with their respective applications to make your case. Develop a theme that speaks to who you are and pulls together the sum of your parts. Keep that theme in mind as you prepare the different elements of each application.

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Ongoing During the Season The Springs Water Park Country Springs Hotel 2810 Golf Rd., Pewaukee www.countryspringshotel for a weekday or weekend getaway with the kids. Waukesha County Park System Eble Park Ice Arena 19400 W. Bluemound Rd., Brookfield (262) 784-5155. Naga-Waukee Park Ice Arena 2699 Golf Rd., Delafield (262) 646-7071 or visit the website: waukeshacounty.gov. Camping in Waukesha County Family camping available on a “first-come first-serve basis.” Camping season is through November 18 at Waukesha County Parks: Menomonee Park, Mukwonago Park, Muskego Park and Naga-Waukee Park. Visit: www.waukeshacounty.gov/parks for details. Free Tours Jelly Belly Center 10100 Jelly Belly Lane, Pleasant Prairie Daily from 9 a.m.– 4 p.m. except New Year’s Day, Easter Sunday, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day. For details visit jellybelly.com or call (866) TOUR-JBC (868-7522).

Calendar Events August 30 “Horses at Liberty” Lilac Hill Farm N6498 State Hwy 49, Green Lake Master horse trainer David Lichman along with his trained horses will have a performance, lecture and a question and answer session. Purchase tickets at: helpinghandshealinghooves.org.

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September Events September 2: Labor Day September 8: Grandparent’s Day September 14: National Kreme Filled Donut Day September 22: First Day of Autumn September 23: Autumnal Equinox Day September 27: Ask a Stupid Question Day September 29: National Coffee Day September 7, 14,21 & 28 Story Time in the Galleries Milwaukee Art Museum 700 N. Art Museum Dr. Come hear a story that relates to a work of art in the galleries; then make a drawing inspired by what you have seen and heard. Explore all the Kohl’s Art Generation weekend family programs. Free with museum admission. For more details, call (414) 224-3200. September 7-8 Trimborn Farm Harvest Festival Trimborn Farm Park 8881 W. Grange Ave., Greendale Celebrate the 31st annual showcase of artists and craftspeople with over one hundred exhibitors. Small fee, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. both days, (414) 273-8288. September 15 Ride on the Wild Side Milwaukee County Zoo View the Milwaukee County Zoo from atop two wheels! Kids and their toy animal friends can ride in the Critter Caravan, a special 2.5-mile kids’ route through the zoo. To register visit zoosociety.org.

September 15 Bug Day Wehr Nature Center 9701 W. College Ave., Franklin From 1 – 4 p.m. see The Bug Whisperer in a special show at 1:30 p.m., Creepy Crawly Cuisine, Bee-Keeping Demonstration and much more. (414) 425-8550. September 19 Neighborhood Night Betty Brinn Children’s Museum 929 E. Wisconsin Ave. Enjoy free admission on the third Thursday of every month from 5 - 8 p.m., courtesy of US Bank and FOX 6! Visit bbcmkids.org for details. September 21 Apple Harvest Fest Retzer Nature Center, Waukesha A fun filled day of shopping at the apple market, children’s games and hands-on activities, horse-drawn hayrides, scarecrow competition, hiking prairie trails, viewing wildlife and plant exhibits and live music. Visit waukeshacountyparks.com or call (262) 548-7801.


October 4-5, 11-12, 24-27 Wisconsin Fear Grounds Waukesha County Exposition Center Rated #1 in Wisconsin, you can expect the unexpected at the highly decorated, elaborate haunted house, labyrinth of torment, highest level of terror interactions and the hunted becoming the hunter of ghouls and zombies. For more information visit wisconsinfeargrounds.com or call (262) 844-5611.

October Events October 6 Cider Sunday Wehr Nature Center 9701 W. College, Franklin Enjoy the brilliant fall colors during this afternoon of cider, food and family fun from noon – 5 p.m. (414) 425-8550. October 11 – November 17 Shrek the Musical Todd Wehr Theater 929 North Water St. Enjoy this fairy tale of an unlikely hero who finds himself on a life-changing journey alongside a wisecracking Donkey. For tickets, call (414) 273-7206, 1-888-612-3500 (Toll Free) or (414) 273.3080 (TDD).

October 5,12,19 & 26 Story Time in the Galleries Milwaukee Art Museum 700 N. Art Museum Dr. Come hear a story that relates to a work of art in the galleries; then make a drawing inspired by what you have seen and heard. Explore all the Kohl’s Art Generation weekend family programs. Free with museum admission. For details, call (414) 224-3200.

October 15: National Grouch Day October 16: Boss’s Day October 26: National Forgiveness Day

Adopt a Shelter Dog Month October 2: National Walk to School Day October 4: National Taco Day October 9: National Chess Day

October 17 Neighborhood Nights Betty Brinn Museum 929 E. Wisconsin Ave. Enjoy free admission on the third Thursday of

every month from 5 - 8 p.m., courtesy of US Bank and FOX 6! Visit bbcmkids.org for details. October 17-19 Halloween Haunts Wehr Nature Center 9701 W. College Ave., Franklin Follow Night Travelers (our special guides) into the Enchanted Forest for a humorous, educational and slightly spooky trek along a jack-o-lantern lit trail. After your 45-minute hike, enjoy indoor activities and refreshments. Dress for the weather – this program goes on, rain or shine! Tickets go on sale Sept. 23 at 9 a.m., (414) 425-8550. October 18 & 19 Boo at the Zoo Milwaukee County Zoo Wind your way through a haystack maze, ride the “Raven’s Rail” train and create spooky crafts! 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

November Events November 3: Daylight Saving time ends at 2 a.m. November 7: National Men Make Dinner Day November 12: National Young Reader’s Day November 14: National Pickle Day November 16: National Day of Play

November 2 Family Free Day at the Zoo Milwaukee County Zoo Sponsored by North Shore Bank & FOX 6 On these special days, all visitors receive free zoo admission; the parking fee remains in effect.

October 18 & 19 Honk! Jr. Falls Patio Players N88-W16750 Garfield Drive Menomonee Falls This is a contemporary retelling of Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Ugly Duckling,” which incorporates a message of tolerance. Friday 7 p.m., Saturday 2 p.m. Tickets are available to order, (262) 255-8372. October 26 Halloween in Delafield Grand Pumpkin Illumination Downtown Delafield Main St. & Genesee St. At 7 p.m. watch more than 300 pumpkins, carved by local area school children, illuminate before your eyes! Don’t forget your cameras! Dinner reservations in Delafield are suggested.

November 18: Mickey Mouse Day November 19: Rocky and Bullwinkle Day November 21: World Hello Day November 22: Humane Society Anniversary November 23: Family Volunteer Day November 28: Thanksgiving Day November 29: National Native American Heritage Day

November 2, 9, 16, 23 & 30 Story Time in the Galleries Milwaukee Art Museum 700 N. Art Museum Dr. Come hear a story that relates to a work of art in the galleries; then make a drawing inspired by what you have seen and heard. Explore all the Kohl’s Art Generation weekend family programs. Free with

museum admission. For details, call (414) 224-3200. November 3 Daylight Saving Time Ends, don’t forget to fall back one hour for this!

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November 11 Don’t forget to say thanks to a veteran on this day!

Enjoy free admission on the third Thursday of every month from 5 - 8 p.m., courtesy of US Bank and FOX 6! Visit bbcmkids.org.

November 24 City of Waukesha 51st Annual Holiday Parade

November 21 Milwaukee Holiday Lights Festival Cathedral Square Park Pere Marquette Park and Zeidler Union Square, all will have animated light displays through January 5.

November 23- January 5 The Nutcracker Suite – Holiday Show Mitchell Park Domes 524 S. Layton Ave., Milwaukee, WI The popular ballet is reinterpreted as the holiday floral show. For details, visit the main site at milwaukeecountyparks or call (414) 257-5611.

November 28 Have a Happy Thanksgiving Day!

November 21 Neighborhood Nights Betty Brinn Children’s Museum 929 E. Wisconsin Ave.

December 2 2013 Tree Lighting in Cedarburg W63 N641 Washington Ave., Cedarburg Beginning at 5:30p.m., families will be treated to a Christmas Concert , cookies, cider, carols, make-and-take-crafts, Secret Santa and Santa’s Mailbox coordinated by the Cedarburg Junior Woman’s Club and, of course, the tree lighting at 7 p.m. led by Santa, Mrs. Claus and local dignitaries. www.cedarburgchristmas.

December Events December 2: Cyber Monday December 4: National Cookie Day December 7: National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day December 12: Gingerbread House Day December 16: Free Shipping Day December 2 2013 Tree Lighting in Cedarburg W63 N641 Washington Ave., Cedarburg Beginning at 5:30p.m., families will be treated to a Christmas Concert , cookies, cider, carols, make-and-take-crafts, Secret Santa and Santa’s Mailbox coordinated by the Cedarburg Junior Woman’s Club and, of course, the tree lighting at 7 p.m. led by Santa, Mrs. Claus and local dignitaries. www.cedarburgchristmas. December 6, 7 & 8 Christmas Carol Falls Patio Players N88-W16750 Garfield Drive Menomonee Falls And the tradition goes on,” Falls Patio Players returns to a version of Charles Dickens’ classic “A Christmas Carol,” which encompasses French and English carols as well as eight original songs. Tickets are available to order by calling (262) 255-8372.

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November 29 – December 29 The Best Christmas Pageant Ever Todd Wehr Theater 929 N. Water St. They’re back! This totally “rad” nostalgia of the 80s when the rowdy Herdman kids are chosen to star in the annual Christmas pageant. For tickets call (414) 273-7206, 888-612-3500 (Toll Free) or (414) 273-3080 (TDD).

December 16: National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day December 21: Winter Solstice December 25: Christmas December 26: National Whiner’s Day December 30: Bacon Day

December 7 Midnight Magic Downtown Mukwonago Old fashioned Christmas celebration town-wide festival 10 a.m. – 10 p.m. with a parade at 2 p.m., fireworks at 9 and much more. December 7 Family Free Day at the Zoo Milwaukee County Zoo Sponsored by North Shore Bank & FOX 6 On these special days, all visitors receive free Zoo admission; the parking fee remains in effect. December 7 Holiday Open House Wehr Nature Center 9701 W. College Ave., Franklin Enjoy a homemade holiday! Bring your kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews, the neighborhood gang or scout group to Wehr for this holiday open house. Your children will enjoy creating homemade treasures for the special people in their lives. Runs from 11 a.m. – 3 p.m., (414) 425-8550.

Dec 7, 8, 14, 15, 21 & 22 Breakfast & Lunch with Santa Milwaukee County Zoo Sponsored by Racine Danish Kringles Enjoy a special meal with Santa, musical fun and a special holiday gift. Call for reservations. Visit milwaukeezoo.org or call (414) 256-5412. December 19 Neighborhood Nights Betty Brinn Children’s Museum 929 E. Wisconsin Ave. Enjoy free admission on the third Thursday of every month from 5 - 8 p.m., courtesy of US Bank and FOX 6! Visit bbcmkids.org. December 25 Have a Merry Christmas! December 31 New Year’s Eve


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Celebrate your superhero.

Unforgettable Birthday Parties! Over 100 arcade games Bounce House, Bumper cars, Frog Hopper, Mini-bowling Discovery room for the wee ones.

www.stonefirepizzaco.com

5320 S. Moorland Rd. New Berlin, WI 53151 262-970-8800


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