Wisconsin Woman Magazine Apri

With a head for business

Nancy Major

has a heart for helping

Spring

Be Good to

Yourself Vol. 14 No. 4 | April 2013 | Complimentary

Having a

BABY at 40

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contents on the 4 10 16

every

cover

Nancy Major Having a Baby over 40 be good to yourself

April/2013

21 22 23 24 28 29 29 30 31

issue

Susan Marshall take good care of you financial Sue ann says pets in fashion book of the month Women on the move calendar

other 8 12 13 26

features

expert baby advice stages of Parenting New Advances for strokes Summer camps

www.mymilwaukeelife.com Publishers Maureen & Tom Slattery Editor Cynthia Strayer Contributing Writers Judith Berger Kim Seidel Advertising Margo Lehmann Saran Piehl Art Director Nicole Hesse Graphic Designer Peggy Duffy Office Manager Paulette Koeppen To place a display ad Please contact our office at: 262-367-5303 Cover Photo Melanie Sikma Plus Publications 128 Cottonwood Ave. Hartland, WI 53029 Phone: 262.367.5303 Fax: 262.367.9517 www.mymilwaukeelife.com

From the Editor

S

pring is here, and it is a time of renewal and rebirth as the trees turn green, the flowers grow and bloom and the birds and animals return from either their winter hibernations or trips to the South. With the sun shining more and the temperatures getting warmer, the whole world seems a little brighter. For many, this time of year is a sign of new things to come; it is a season of hope.

Our cover story this month features Nancy Major, executive director of Safe Babies Healthy Families. Here is a woman who is changing lives and bringing hope to others through programs and strategies to break the cycle of child abuse, neglect and poverty through education, support and resources. Both Major’s personal and professional journeys have brought her where she is today and both are fascinating to read about.

What could bring more renewal and hope than having a baby? In this issue, we address having a baby in your 40s. The article addresses the concerns and gives advice for those who would still like to have a child at this age. We hope this article is helpful to your life or the life of someone you love.

In this issue, we also address many issues of parenting, from advice from a pediatrician and other experts on bringing home a new baby, the stages of parenting, to being a parent in the Sandwich Generation and taking care of your own parents. Parenting is definitely a life-long adventure. And hopefully, it is one we are all ready for.

Finally, we are reminded to take care of ourselves in our special “Be Good to Yourself” advertorial section. Hopefully, we have provided some powerful ways for busy women, like yourselves, to create more calm and less stress in your lives. It doesn’t have to be about extravagant trips with your friends or spa days, there are little things you can do every day. I have found that taking a few minutes every day to listen to my favorite music alone and uninterrupted for even 10-20 minutes can make all the difference in the world for my mood and stress. The other thing that always works for me is calling a friend. What helps you relax?

Happy Reading!

-Cyndi Strayer

CORRECTION: In our March issue, we misspelled the name of the Woman’s Club of Wisconsin.

It is “Woman’s,” not Women’s.” We aplogize.

follow us on facebook at wisconsinwomanmagazine April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 3

COVER STORY

A Major

Success

N

By Judith Berger

ancy Major, executive director of Safe Babies Healthy Families, is married to Jesse, has a daughter, Miranda, two stepdaughters, Stephanie and Becci, and three grandchildren including little eightmonth-old Dawson. She loves to ride her Harley, read books on leadership and business and is a self-proclaimed Ultimate Fight Club fan. To paraphrase a line from the movie, “Working Girl,” she has ‘a head for business and a heart for Nancy Major social work.’

Major applies business principles to the nonprofit model. “Just like for-profit businesses, sometimes you need to make the tough decisions in order to be successful.” To Major, success is measured in meeting the needs of the community she serves. “But those needs change all the time,” she said. “We are facing drug addiction, homelessness, domestic violence and safe-baby sleeping issues.”

Safe Babies Healthy Families is a Waukesha-based organization providing hands-on programs and strategies to break the cycle of child abuse, neglect and poverty through education, support and resources. “As a parent, it is your life’s mission to protect your child,” Major said. According to the Center for Disease Control, the lifetime effects of child abuse render a cost of $223,000 per child of public and private resources. “With prevention and intervention through Safe Babies Healthy Families, the cost is $615 per child. What’s the greater return on the investment?” she asked.

Ninety percent of the Safe Babies Healthy Families clients have at-risk backgrounds that include neglect, sexual and domestic violence and poverty. All factors Major can speak to personally. She was born into an abusive cycle to a girl too young to be a mother, and a father she never knew. Major spent most of her young life moving between Wausau and Marshfield, Wis. “My mother did what she could to survive,” she said. “Both my parents came from abusive homes.”

At 46, this may be Major’s perfect storm. The unique combination of business savvy and empathy makes Major the ideal choice to lead the organization into the future. She has been fascinated with business since she was a young child. When little girls were wishing for dollies, she begged her mother for a typewriter. At the age of 10, she started a baby-sitting club complete with index cards that she passed out to neighbors with services she offered, although she admits work was a way of escaping a home life too broken and unsafe for any child. “My

4 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

mother raised me with love, but she couldn’t protect me from her family.” Major experienced sexual abuse from the age of six. “It was never her intention to put me in that situation.” At one point, Major and her mother were homeless, but not hopeless.

Major washed cars and cleaned houses. “It was a way to numb out,” she said. By 11 years old, she started to drink. There is abuse, suicide and alcoholism in her extended family. The deck was stacked against her. She dropped out of high school.

“But I was driven and able to work,” Major said.

“People would tell me I was hardworking and smart. I hung on to that.” She excelled in a business setting and taught herself how to type and take shorthand. Her first formal job was a clerk in a hospital transcribing records.

She absorbed everything she read and heard. “I learned a lot about pharmacology and psychology.”

Major married at 18 years old. She had her daughter at 23, but not before she entered rehab to get sober. “I couldn’t stand the thought of my daughter being raised by a drunk,” she said. “My daughter was a gift. I felt the need to protect her. It wasn’t about me anymore.” Soon after, her first marriage ended in divorce. Major has been sober for 25 years.

Moving into hospice work felt like a natural progression for Major where she managed the volunteer program. “I had a feeling of meaning and purpose in my work. It was intoxicating in a positive way.”

Major earned her GED and it wasn’t long before she recognized her knack for building something of suba major success cont. on page 6

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April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 5

L- Major at a 2010 Gala with her daughter Miranda.

M Top- Major at a check presentation with Brad Schimel and Kim Woolsey.

M Bottom- Major at the 2012 Fashion Show with Andrea Bryant and Kay Lettenberger.

R- Tillie Koch from ESPN meets with Major during the 2012 5K Trot for Tots.

a major success cont. from page 4 stance, which led to her first business, Family Haven Assisted Living, in Marshfield. “I learned about licensing and running a facility, developing services and programs, training and managing people.”

The business did so well, she was bought out.

Education is a validation, and Major knew she would need it to move forward.

Major went on to earn a bachelor’s degree and, eventually, an MBA. In 1993, she went to work for United Cerebral Palsy of North Central Wisconsin where she ran a mainstreaming program for patients. “This brought me to advocating for people with disabilities,” she said. Within 18 months, she was its executive director with an operating budget of $150,000. At 24 years old, she was the United Cerebral Palsy’s youngest ED in the country. When she left four years later, the budget had increased to $2.3 million.

Major loves a challenge, so she went to work for Special Olympics of North Central Wisconsin. It was broke with no money, she recalled. As executive director, she turned the organization around. Her success spurred a promotion to a marketing position for Special Olympics of Wisconsin. “It was a lot of travel and my daughter was only 10 years old at the time. I felt like I was missing a lot.” So Major resigned and started a consulting firm, Major Ventures.

“I worked with startups all over the country developing business plans, doing leadership training, team building, coaching and motivational speaking.” Some of the work she could do from home giving her time with her daughter. “My daughter was 6 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

a senior in high school in Wausau. I started to travel more and didn’t want to move her during her last year in school. It was crucial that I was there with her.”

Major took a pharmaceutical sales position in North Central Wisconsin keeping her close to home; but did so well she was promoted to the Southeast Wisconsin region basing her out of Madison. “I traveled two and half hours each way every day,” she said with a sigh. Finally, with her daughter out of school, Major moved to Madison where she took a position as administrator of Harbor House, a rehabilitation facility.

In 2008, as a result of a relationship, Major found herself in Waukesha County and, through an acquaintance, was referred to the director of the Pregnancy Support Connection. “Before I knew it, I found myself interviewing in front of the board,” Major said.

The board was so impressed with her background, her ability to thrive through adversity and her compassion for a struggle she knew all too well, they hired her to lead Pregnancy Support Connection, which eventually merged with Healthy Family of Waukesha. In 2012, Safe Babies Healthy Families was established. In five years, she has more than doubled the operating budget to $850,000 and has a staff of 25.

In 2012, Major received The Waukesha Freeman’s Citizen of the Year award and the Woman of Distinction award from the Women and Girls Fund of Waukesha County. In December 2012, she and Safe Babies Healthy Families were given a key to the City of Waukesha by Mayor Jeff Scri-

ma. Safe Babies Healthy Families was recognized as the Small Nonprofit of the Year

by Waukesha County in November 2011 and was nominated for Waukesha County Executive’s Large Nonprofit of the Year award in October 2012. In 2009, the Brookfield Chamber of Commerce recognized Safe Babies Healthy Families as a “Best Place to Work.”

Safe Babies Healthy Families has evidence that its programs work. Major said the organization’s success rate is at about 99 percent. In 2012, the organization served 1,742 people and is on track to far exceed that number in 2013.

April is child abuse-prevention month and on May 9, 2013, Safe Babies Healthy Families will have its annual fundraising gala. Major has much to celebrate, but always has an eye on the goal. “We look at this like a disease. We are looking for cures and prevention to wipe it out.”

Major continues to operate like the head of a business. “We want to be a household name and raise awareness. Organizations need new blood -- new ideas. I want to build new leaders for the future. We have an amazing team,” she said of the staff. “This has healed my heart. I’m honored and privileged to be here.”

Life is extremely messy. You can’t experience the harshness of it without being changed. It can be a life sentence, Major said, if you let it. “Women who are broken and lost are not sure there’s a way out. I’m proof there is. I know there are things I should have done better or differently. I realize that. Telling my story exposes me, but it liberates others.” And for Major, that’s where the work begins. l

is Ranked #4 in the Nation The Greater Milwaukee area, and especially Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, has a great deal to be proud of. In its March issue, Parents magazine ranked Children’s Hospital fourth in the nation in its Best Children’s Hospitals survey.

This is the third survey in a row that Children’s has been listed in the top 10.

Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin was also ranked in the top 10 for all six of the specialty areas that were ranked by the magazine. These included: #1 ranking for Preemie and Newborn Care #3 ranking for Emergency Care #6 ranking for Orthopedic Care #7 ranking for Heart Care #8 ranking for Pulmonary Care #9 ranking for Cancer Care

“We’re the only children’s hospital in Wisconsin with the depth and breadth of services required to make the list,� said Peggy Troy, MSN, RN, president and CEO of Children’s Hospital and Health System. “We provide the safest, most comprehensive care for children of all ages, no matter how simple or complex the illness or injury.�

The Parents magazine survey is a comprehensive, family-focused and data-driven comparison of pediatric hospitals. It focuses on features doctors and parents that matter most to them, such as: • Groundbreaking research and treatment options. • Survival rates for pediatric cancer, heart disease and other critical conditions. • Experience performing complex procedures. • Expertise of physicians, nurses and other staff. • Safeguards to prevent medical errors, including an electronic medical record. • Family-friendly facilities. • Services that address the emotional needs of patients and families. • Community outreach that helps keep kids safe, healthy and out of the hospital.

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Pedriatric and Expert Advice:

PEDIATRIC &EXPERT ADVICE: Whatto to Expect When Bringing BabyBringing Home What Expect When Baby Home

ERT ADVICE:

nging Baby Home

By Kim Seidel

M

any mothers envision a blissful experience when they bring their new baby home, but in reality the first weeks are often the busiest Many new mothers worry about and most stressful. whether their infant is sleeping too much “Most new parents are overwhelmed or not enough. The fact is newborns by the amount of time they spend caring sleep from 14 to 18 hours per day. Perifor their newborn,” says Linda Goldberg, ods of sleeping and wakefulness vary a registered nurse and lactation consulfrom baby to baby, depending on sleep What to Bringing Baby Home tant. Expect “The idealizedWhen vision of sitting in a cycles and eating patterns. rocking chair, cradling your newborn, “Most newborns wake up when they with your hair and makeup freshly apare hungry and fall asleep again when plied quickly evaporates once you are they are satisfied,” says Goldberg, author home. The first few weeks are spent recuof Pea in a Pod: Your Complete Guide to perating from birth and just getting to Pregnancy, Childbirth and Beyond. know your new baby.”

“This rhythm usually continues throughIt’s important to keep in mind that out the day and night, except for that every new mother responds differently possible late afternoon fussy period.” to a new baby, and every newborn beDo not try to regulate your baby’s haves differently, says Dr. Katharine feeding and sleeping patterns during Golden Kelter, who works in pediatrics. those first weeks. Even if your baby has Some babies seem to sleep all the time, his day and night mixed up, do not try to ngingwhile Baby othersHome never seem to stop crying, change them immediately. “As long as for example. “I try to assure mothers that your baby is waking to feed eight to 12 all these variations in baby’s behavior, as times each 24 hours, use his awake times well as mother’s emotions are normal,” for feeding, and his sleep times for you to Dr. Kelter says. “Mothers should feel also get some sleep,” Goldberg says. confident that they are capable, and they will learn how to respond best to their It’s important for new moms to baby’s unique personality and needs.” know that crying is the baby’s only way With variations of “normal,” it’s imto communicate.

“Babies cry. It has nothportant to consult your pediatrician with ing to do with you.

Don’t take crying peryour concerns along the way, says Suzy sonally, ” says Faith Ploude, manager of a Martyn, a mom and parenting consulhospital lactation center. tant. Then, the doctor can help evaluate if Again, every baby is different. Some any further steps need to be taken. babies are more expressive and seem to cry constantly, and others cry only when hungry, Dr. Kelter says. Extreme fussi-

Sleeping

PEDIATRIC &EXPERT ADVICE:

ERT ADVICE:

Crying

8 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

ness or colic, usually starts around week two and usually resolves on its own in one to three months.

Trying to cope with a crying baby can be frustrating for new parents, and it can be difficult to know why your baby is crying, Goldberg says. The most common reasons for a baby to cry are hunger, discomfort, gas, loneliness, boredom, over stimulation, under stimulation and colic. Determine if your baby is crying for one of those reasons and then try to calm the baby down, knowing the process takes time and the baby may continue crying.

Feeding

Another common concern of new mothers is whether their babies are getting enough to eat. Breastfed babies usually feed every two hours, at least eight to 12 feedings in 24 hours. Babies generally nurse about 15 minutes per breast at each feeding.

“At times, babies cluster feed and may want to feed as often as every one to 1-1/2 hours. This is okay,” Dr. Kelter says.

“Family members and friends can give mom a break by making sure she is eating well, drinking plenty of water, and chipping in with diaper changes, burping and other baby care.”

Bottle-fed babies usually feed every three hours in the first few weeks. This quantity varies, anywhere from one-half to two ounces in the first few days, increasing to about two ounces or more in the first few weeks.

“For breastfeeding moms, a little known fact is that the prolactin hormone expert advice cont. on page 11

Women Over

40

Face Challenges Both Conceiving and During Pregnancy

By

M

by Kim Seidel

any women today are waiting later to start a family. Women over 40 trying to get pregnant face medical and psychosocial risks with their age.

Special precautions, however, can be taken to increase chances of conception and ensure a healthy pregnancy.

The Risks of Waiting

It’s more difficult to conceive after 40 and the miscarriage rate increases with both maternal and paternal age, says Michelle Collins, a certified nurse midwife and an assistant professor of nursing.

“My first and only child was conceived after only one month of trying at age 39,” says Sue Patton. “Now I’m 43, and I’m having problems conceiving. I’ve had three miscarriages in the last year, which I’m told is typical at this age.”

The rate of miscarriage is about 12 percent in women less than 20 years old, and increases to 26 percent in women older than 40, who are at “an advanced maternal age,” Collins says. “For women over 35, there is a higher incidence of chromosomal abnormalities; the body’s lack of ability to recognize these in an embryo, results in the higher miscarriage rate.”

While Patton remains optimistic about having a second child, she feels “quite surprised at how difficult it has been to conceive again. Having my first daughter was so easy.”

After she had her baby, many OB/GYNs told Patton to start trying to get pregnant again right away. “I thought they were being alarmist,” she says. “In my mind, I had all the time in the world.”

Patton is not alone. “The biggest mistake women make is not deciding in time to try to conceive,” says Dr. Grace Keenan, an integrative health expert. “They miss that window when they can be with an aggressive, reproductive entomologist. Many patients assume they can get pregnant without help at 40 and aren’t aware of their challenges. They delay efforts to seek aggressive help. They miss the window of opportunity to have their eggs fertilized by in vitro fertilization (IVF).”

Medical Risks

10 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

Along with difficulty conceiving and an increased miscarriage rate, women over 40 may encounter other medical complications during pregnancy.

For example, Collins says women over 40 are at a higher risk of developing gestational diabetes and pregnancy-induced hypertension.

Other medical risks include an increased chance of having a cesarean section, developing preeclampsia and placenta previa. “Women over 40 years of age who have chronic health problems, are in poor physical condition or obese have a greater chance of developing complications, however,” Collins says.

When a woman over 40 does successfully conceive, she has an increased chance of complications with her babies, including a higher rate of still births, Dr. Keenan says. over 40 cont. on page 10

over 40 cont. from page 10 “If a woman is capable of conceiving, then there is the concern that the DNA in her eggs has been damaged over time,” says Dr. Keenan. “The logarithmic curve in which a woman’s chance to give birth to a child with Down syndrome or other genetic abnormalities begins at about age 38 and continues to increase over time.”

Chromosomal abnormalities are more common in infants born to older women. For example, the chance of a fetus having Down syndrome in a woman who is 35 years old is one in 250. This is up from one in 417 for a 33 year old. The chance rises rapidly as maternal age increases. At 40 years of age, that same risk is one in 69; at 45 years, it is one in 19.”

Psychosocial Risks

Beyond the physical risks, psychosocial and physical adjustment to pregnancy after 40 may be difficult for some women. “Even though they may have planned and tried for several years to conceive, the life changes brought about by pregnancy, whether planned or unplanned, are dramatic,” Collins says. “Many women at this age may be well-established in their careers, and the physical changes brought about by pregnancy may wreak a bit of havoc in their lives.”

The physical demands of pregnancy can be extremely fatiguing on women of any age, but especially for women over 40. “If a woman’s life is such that she is not able to catch a nap mid-afternoon, for example, she may find herself constantly exhausted,” Collins says. “Even women who have been pregnant before, and experienced the fatigue of the first few months of pregnancy but at a younger age, will comment on how much more tired they are with being pregnant at an older age.”

In addition, balancing the demands of home, career, work and other children can cause an extreme amount of stress for the women over 40, Collins says.

Special Precautions to Take

With all of the medical and psychosocial risks, one would think women over 40 should turn and run away from pregnancy. This isn’t necessarily the case for all women.

“Life is not one size fits all,” Collins says. “What works for me in my life may certainly not work for another woman.”

The key to successfully conceiving and having a baby in your 40s, Collins says, “is going into pregnancy with your eyes wide open.” The first way to do this is to schedule a preconception visit with either a physician or certified nurse midwife to discuss all of the implications of pregnancy over 40.

At this visit, a thorough health history is taken. A woman is assessed for any potential problems that may affect a pregnancy. The provider may draw a blood sample to see if the woman is immune to an infection called rubella, for instance, which would be valuable information to have prior to a pregnancy.

The woman’s social habits like smoking, using alcohol and other substances will be reviewed, as well as her nutrition, Collins says. With this information, her provider can help her adjust lifestyle that may help her to have a healthier pregnancy.

Being in great physical shape is advantageous for any woman over 40 considering pregnancy. If a woman of this age were overweight or obese and considering pregnancy, she would be counseled on safe and effective ways to lose weight before attempting to conceive.

In addition to a preconception visit, it’s recommended that women over 40 meet with a professional genetic counselor before becoming pregnant, Collins says. This appointment involves the counselor calculating and explaining genetic risks specifically related to maternal age and family history.

“Establishing a relationship with her provider early on, where all issues are addressed and discussed, and the woman has full knowledge to empower her decision-making will help a woman of any age have a healthier pregnancy,” Collins says. l Kim Seidel is a Wisconsin writer. Learn more about her work at www.seidelink.com.

expert advice cont. from page 8 (the one responsible for producing milk) is highest between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m.,” says Liz Maseth, registered nurse and lactation consultant. “That’s why babies are often awake during that time. They instinctively seem to know that’s when they should be feeding.”

After that feeding, babies generally settle in for the longest sleep in the morning, so moms should sleep during that time, too. “If you are a mom with other kids, try getting someone to come and watch them while you nap in the morning,” Maseth says. “You and baby will quickly get in the groove.”

Diapers

After one week, babies should have about six to eight wet diapers per day. In the first few weeks, a baby should have about three to four stools per 24 hours. After the first few weeks, stool patterns may change to be as frequent as every feeding or as infrequent as once per week, especially with breastfed babies, Dr. Kelter says. “As long as the stool is soft, the baby is not constipated. If the stool is hard, by four weeks of age the infant can have diluted prune juice or Karo syrup. But speak to your doctor first.”

Umbilical cord care

Other questions of new parents center on how to care for the umbilical cord stump. At one time, wiping the cord with alcohol with each diaper change was recommended. This practice is no longer necessary.

The cord should fall off within a week or two. It may ooze a little or develop a yellow film over it – this is healing tissue and should not be removed, Dr. Kelter says. “Do not give baby a full bath under water until the cord has completely healed. If baby’s umbilical cord is still oozing after a week or two, talk to your doctor.” l April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 11

A

ccording to the American Heritage Dictionary, parenting is the rearing of a child or children, especially the care, love and guidance given by a parent. Parenting is an adventure into the unknown filled with a combination of challenges and rewards.

And as a child grows and changes, so does the role of the parent.

Ellen Galinsky’s book, The Six Stages of Parenthood, is one of the most revered books on this subject. Her theory states that the task of being a parent parallels a child’s growth and development. She came to these six stages of parenthood after interviewing 228 parents of varying and very diverse backgrounds: image making, nurturing, authoritative, interpretive, independent and departure.

Pregnancy and Infants The image making stage occurs before the child is born. Parents create in their minds images of birth and parenthood. This is also the stage when parents prepare for the birth of their child by cleaning the house, preparing the baby’s room and making sure they have all of the necessary supplies, such as diapers, clothes, car seat, baby monitor, etc. The image of parenthood becomes a reality as the birth of the baby gets closer.

Once the baby is born, the nurturing stage begins. During this stage the focus is completely on the infant’s basic needs, and through this dependency there is a development of trust or bonding. Parents also work through a variety of questions and issues about their priorities, about how much time they should give to the baby and how much time to devote to other aspects of life.

Toddlers When a child becomes two, he asserts himself in a manner that is often outside of the bounds of what the parents expect.

Known as the authority stage, parents face the challenge of deciding how rules are set, what the rules are, when they are enforced and what happens when they are broken.

12 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

S tages of Parenting One might say it becomes a theme of control vs. lack of control. During this stage there is bound to be some problems with the parent/child relationship as the child tries to do what they want with persistence, which challenges the image of what the parents expect. The question during the authority stage becomes how to resolve the problems that occur.

School-Aged Children The next stage is the interpretive stage, which begins during the preschool years and ends with the approach of adolescence.

Through self-evaluations and interpretations, parents are concerned with how they want to interpret reality, such as how to answer their children’s questions and what kinds of knowledge, skills and values to promote. During this stage, the child also begins to create images of what a parent should be like. Here is an overview of the parental decisions to be made in the interpretive stage: l Deciding what kind of life they want and can afford to provide. l Deciding how to interpret facts, skills and experiences to their children (e.g. bad things that occur in the world, etc.). l Deciding how they want their children to behave. l Deciding when to let go, to encourage the children to do things independently. l Deciding how involved to become with the people in their children’s lives (teachers, friends, etc.). l Deciding how to define the changing relationship between parent and child.

Galinsky emphasizes that parents in the interpretive stage must involve themselves in the task of redefining the authority relationship. And throughout this stage, parents will have to review what they think, believe and value as well as how they can translate these to their children.

Teenagers The interdependent stage begins when the child’s behavior and thoughts change

about clothing, the opposite sex, language, hairstyle, etc., which often causes parents to once again struggle with who the child is.

Galinsky emphasizes that the dangers today are bigger, and yet parents’ power is diminishing. That is why it is so important for parents to communicate with their child and to set limits and give guidance.

In order to handle these issues effectively, parents need to know their own standards and expectations as well as their teenager. The parents need to also accept that their child is developing a separate identity.

The major task of this stage is redefining the parent/child relationship, including: l Who makes decisions about what? l How will decisions be enforced? l What does the future hold for the teenager? l Where is the teenager allowed to go?

With whom? By what method of transportation? l What about smoking, drinking, drugs and sex? l Accepting the teenager’s identity, including sexual roles and dealing with feelings of affinity and dissimilarity to their child. l Creating new bonds with an almost-grown child.

The Adult Child As a child leaves home, parents once again form images about what the future will hold for their child, including how far away their child might go and how often they will be together. This is known as the departure stage. Here, parents search for new ways to say they are still a family by creating new rituals, habits and traditions. It involves a complex set of tasks: caring, being available, helping without controlling, accepting the grown child’s separate identity. Through acceptance, parents learn that separateness implies the beginning of a new connection. A connection that will continue to evolve as the child finds a career, possibly marries, has a family of his or her own, etc. Parenting is a lifetime adventure. l

Woman Survives Multiple Strokes

Thanks to Froedert and the Medical College of Wisconsin

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By Cyndi Strayer

his month, Erin Puariea of Whitefish Bay will mark her 42nd birthday by celebrating the gift of life. Why? Because just weeks after her 41st birthday in 2012, this manager of a Milwaukee-based national cooking school found herself in a position she never expected. As she was walking to her car to go to a doctor’s appointment, Puariea collapsed. She had suffered at least two different strokes at the same time. Luckily, thanks to quick action and advanced medical care, she not only survived, but is back to enjoying her life.

Prior to her strokes, Puariea said she had not been feeling well with a variety of symptoms, such as fatigue, exhaustion, pain in her neck, numbness in her arm and more. She had visited multiple doctors from various clinics and hospitals trying to figure out why she was feeling the way she was. They all said they knew something was

going on, but they were not sure as to what.

“I think sometimes that because of my age,” Puariea said, “they knew something was wrong but didn’t look deeply at what was actually going on.” She felt as if some doctors were dismissive and didn’t take her seriously. Some diagnosed her symptoms as being stress-related, but she felt it was more than that. So, she continued to fight and advocate for herself and her health.

But as time went on and she continued to not feel well, she says there became a point when even the people around you start to lose patience and question why you just don’t feel better. “You start to doubt yourself,” she said. “And that’s the worst part, when you can’t figure it out. Your thoughts and feelings can take you to some dark places.”

On the day Puariea had her strokes, she says, “I was walking to my car while I was talking on the phone with one of my team members about our afternoon sched-

ule when this feeling came over me. In just this moment I knew something was wrong with me. It was like a curtain coming over my head. The last thing I remember is telling my team member that something was wrong with me and I had to go.” And it was at that moment she collapsed in the office parking lot.

According to John Lynch, M.D., vascular neurologist, neurointensivist and director of neurosciences at Froedtert and the Medical College of Wisconsin, Puariea was in bad shape when she arrived at the hospital. She had three types of stroke occurring at the same time (ischemic, hemorrhagic and an aneurysm).

A stroke occurs when one of the arteries to the brain is either blocked or bursts.

As a result, part of the brain does not get the blood it needs, so it starts to die. This can cause problems with walking, speaking, seeing or feeling. Puariea had gone into a coma from her strokes.

Stroke Warning Signs—F.A.S.T.

STROKE

Face Drooping—one side of the face droops or is numb.

STROKE Arm Weakness—one arm is weak or numb.

Speech Difficulty—unable to speak or speech is slurred, hard to understand.

Time to call 911—if you recognize stroke warning signs, call 911 for immediate transport to a hospital.

“ When I look at the statistics and the fact that I am still living and without the deficits that you read about, it’s extraordinary and I’m thankful every day for that.”

-Erin Puariea

photo courtesy of Brian Sorg

Often when treating an ischemic stroke, doctors will use what is known as tPA, which is an enzyme found naturally in the body that converts, or activates plasminogen into another enzyme to dissolve the blood clot that caused the stroke, explained Dr. Lynch. However, tPA needs to be administered within three hours of symptom onset. “Time is an important factor when determining whether a patient can receive it or not.” And because of timing, 90 percent of patients are not able to use this drug.

When the time window for tPa has closed, Dr. Lynch says there are newer devices being used to help restore blood flow to the brain by removing the blood clots, strokes cont. on page 14 April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 13

strokes cont. from page 13 such as the MERCI Retrieval System and the Penumbra System. At Froedtert, the doctors now use the Solitaire Flow Restoration device, which uses a new wire mesh stent to mechanically remove the stroke-causing clots from the brain. This new device is being called a game-changer in the treatment of strokes. Dr. Lynch says that it works better and faster than the other systems. In fact, because of the Solitaire Flow Restoration device, the doctors were able to fix Puariea’s clots in minutes.

“It is very important to get help right away with a stroke,” says Dr. Lynch. “The brain is very sensitive and cannot go more than five minutes without oxygen before it starts to die.” Therefore, the blood flow needs to be restored as soon as possible in order to prevent or stop any further damage to the brain. Dr. Lynch even stressed the fact that a person should get medical help for a stroke at least twice as fast as someone who is having a heart attack.

“If it wasn’t for the team at Froedtert, I would not be alive today,” says Puariea.

“When I look at the statistics and the fact that I am still living and without the deficits that you read about, it’s extraordinary and I’m thankful every day for that.”

One reason for Puariea’s survival is Froedtert’s dedicated neuro-intensive care unit that has board certified neurointensivists available 24 hours a day, seven days a week and every day of the year. It is the only neuro-intensive care unit in the state of Wisconsin.

While hospital intensive care units are great, these types of specialized units, such

Dr. Lynch

as Froedtert and the Medical College of Wisconsin’s neuro-intensive care unit, are making a definite difference in a patient’s recovery. Dr. Lynch believes that after a stroke a patient’s post-operative care is critical as to how a patient does in the end.

So it is important to have specialized, coordinated care by experts in stroke care.

As for recovery, Puariea was in the hospital for less than two weeks. She had lost the use of her left side at first, but she says she was able to walk out of the hospital. “I could only walk about 10 feet and then I was exhausted and would lose my balance. There were also no stairs and I wasn’t able to care for myself.”

When she first left the hospital, she moved in with her parents where she began her rehabilitation. “My mom and my sisters took turns taking me to my appointments,” she said. “I would begin at 10 a.m. and end at 4 p.m. Afterward, I would go back to my parents’ house and go to bed.”

She had therapy daily.

Puariea describes herself as having a fairly good sense of humor and a competitive nature, especially with herself. For example, when she was asked to do something and couldn’t she was determined to do it next time. strokes cont. on page 15

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strokes cont. from page 14 During her recovery, Puariea had to learn to walk, balance and fight to organize her thoughts—she did a great deal of memory work and what is known as executive organization.

She described her therapy team at Community Memorial as being “a Rock Star team.”

Believe it or not, Puariea’s stroke occurred on May 23, 2012 and she was back to work on September 24, 2012.

“As women, we tend to dismiss our own cues. We’re too busy taking care of everyone else. We know intellectually that we need to take care of ourselves, but we really don’t,” says Puariea. “My advice, listen to your body and take the cues seriously. We need to be advocates for our own health.”

Erin Puariea was only 41 when she had her strokes. Unfortunately, according to Dr. Lynch, having a stroke in your 40s is becoming more common. “Only 10 years ago, this was extremely uncommon, especially in women. Women overall had strokes less frequently and at an older age compared to men,” he said.

“The cause for this change is simply the fact that the population is becoming less healthy. There’s an increase in high blood pressure, obesity and diabetes. Even with the decreasing numbers of people who are smoking, there’s been an increase in the number of strokes,” Dr. Lynch explained. So seeing strokes occur in people in their 40s has “become quite common every week.”

When having a stroke, do not wait. “Time, time, time, time is critical to saving any type of brain injury during a stroke,” advises Dr. Lynch. “Get to your closest local hospital as fast as you can. Then, if you need more care, you can be transported to a comprehensive stroke center. The key is to get medical attention as soon as possible.” l

Caring for an Older Adult?

Don’t Unravel.

Call Us. We Can Help.

Call Us for Free Assistance.

(414) 220-8600 www.caregiversupportnetwork.org www.wisconsincaregiver.org www.living-options.org

April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 15

Be

Yourself Good to

By Being Good to Ourselves, We Can Stress Less

By Kim Seidel

Make Time to Reconnect with the Woman Inside You

S

pring is upon us and it’s never too early to start planning for your summer getaway...

Save the date for the 4th Annual Women’s Wellness Retreat at the Olympia Resort & Spa. Relax, unwind and enjoy a long weekend of luxurious spa treatments, friendship and shopping, dining and fitness, alone or with a group of friends.

Starting Friday, July 12 - Sunday, July 14, 2013, you will enjoy gracious accommodations, enticing meal options and a lively blend of entertainment awaits you.

And throughout the weekend, Olympia and the OSpa will be offering wellness activities, spa services and special giveaways from such businesses as OPI, Moroccanoil and Glo, to name a few.

Don’t wait for the flowers to bloom, book your Women’s Wellness Retreat accommodations today.

16 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

W

omen of today hold the power to make choices in their personal and professional lives more than ever before. While that creates opportunities, it also causes stress. Working women with too much to do, too many options and too much stuff often struggle to find balance and peace.

The following are several simple but powerful ways for busy working women to create more calm and less stress in their lives:

Determine values

One vital key for women to combat stress is to discern what they value, and then place those things at high priority, says Marilyn Franzini, a marriage and family therapist. For example, when a working mom signs up her children for activities, she can consider how much time will be spent driving them around. If a woman places a high priority after a full day in the office on family dinners or quiet time, she may want to cut back on her kids’ recreation at night.

Taking the time to determine values relieves stress in itself; women need to slow down to discern, rather than race through their day, Franzini says. Women who mindlessly run through their schedules often make hasty decisions – such as saying “yes” to another commitment – without thinking about extra stress involved.

“Do You Have Tired Looking Eyes?”

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ello, my name is Dr. Bruce Massaro, and I am an Oculoplastic Surgeon, a specialist who treats and corrects only surgical concerns of the delicate eyelid and upper facial tissues, at the Center for Facial Aesthetics. I can say with 100 percent certainty that despite the “infomercials,” no miracle creams, injections or spa treatments will adequately correct truly saggy, baggy, tired looking eyes.

If that describes your eyes, it pays not to waste your money or time on so-called “non-surgical cures” because they just don’t work. Saggy, tired looking eyes are the result of your genetics and time, and will only worsen with age. The correct choice for those who wish to address the problem is eyelid-rejuvenating surgery, called blepharoplasty. Sometimes blepharoplasty can be combined with eyebrow and/or forehead support. With a little bit of downtime and very little discomfort, you can achieve the rested, healthy looking eyes you’ve hoped for.

For the best result, choose the proper investment of time, money and surgeons.

Avoid perfectionism

Learn to say “no” to extra demands placed on you at the office, if possible, or at least say “no” to more volunteer work.

“We can say ‘no’ to the overload and ‘yes’ to a higher quality of life,” says Rebecca Radcliffe, author and speaker on women’s issue and personal growth and peace. She says the higher quality of life includes spending more time with our loved ones.

Setting “unrealistic expectations,” trying to do too much and doing it perfectly, compounds stress. “I often hear women say they feel guilty when they’re at work, and they feel guilty when they’re at home,” Franzini says. “Women can feel this struggle less by keeping in mind that ‘yes,’ they can do it all, just not all at once. Keep in the present moment, whether at work or at home.”

Prioritize self-care

Women don’t need an expensive massage or a shopping spree to decrease stress; women can integrate many stress relievers into their day for little or no cost, says Pamela Radosen, a psychotherapist with degrees in marriage and family therapy. be good to yourself cont. on page 18 April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 17

be good to yourself cont. from page 17 Radosen sees many women who know how to care for themselves, but they simply don’t do it. “Out of habit, we don’t prioritize our own needs,” she says. “We are wired to look after our families and others, and we give them our time and energy first. By taking good care of ourselves, we have more for those we love.

When we eat right and get enough sleep and exercise, we are more calm, balanced and effective at home and at work.”

Find Romance at the Landmark Resort

W

ith its wonderful scenery and enchanting retail shops, the Village of Egg Harbor is a great place to surprise your sweetie with this Romance Package from the Landmark Resort in beautiful Door County. With a reservation for a two-night stay, you and your sweetheart will receive a bottle of wine with two wine glasses, a $40 gift certificate to the Carrington Pub & Grill as well as a discount on lodging. We’ll help set the mood – the rest is up to you. Available on Thursday through Saturday night stays ... now through May 19, 2013. Must be 21 years of age, and provide 48 hour notice.

Call the Landmark Resort at 1-800-273-7877 or visit them on the web: www.thelandmarkresort.com

Relax ... Relate ... Release

May 16-19, 2013 EGGscape Package ... $75 per person Includes plenty of food, fun and free time, as well as wine tasting, Zumba, karaoke, bonfire, pub crawl, and a variety of of optional activities!

Lodging starts as low as $82/night.

For more information or to register, call Sonja at 1-800-273-7877.

4929 Landmark Dr | Egg Harbor, WI

www.thelandmarkresort.com | 1-800-273-7877 18 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

Cultivate a healthy attitude

Attitude is important. Start your day with the intention to be harmonious and balanced. Plan to eat well. “Sometimes it is the simple things that make a difference in our stress,” Radosen says.

“For example, wearing comfortable clothing in colors that feel right for the day can support the positive flow of energy.”

Exercise is always an excellent tool to boost energy levels and reduce negative feelings. Prayer and meditation are other ways to decrease stress. In stressful situations, taking deep breaths gives your body the opportunity to calm down, Radosen says.

Stop negative self-talk

During the day, keep stress at bay by monitoring self-talk and stopping negative messages, says Franzini. Replace negativity, such as “I have to get everything done on my list perfectly,” with positivity - “Good enough;” “Easy does it;” and “One thing at a time.”

Being aware of self-talk is important to working women to maintain their confidence and energy, says Mary Jo Rapini, a psychotherapist, speaker and author. “Don’t use degrading words about your age and your body,” Rapini says. “So many women see their age as a negative. Lighten up. Age affords you more insight, and if you take care of your body, you may find yourself getting better with age.”

Take time for pleasure

A great idea for working women who want to lower stress is to make a list of simple activities that bring them enjoyment and enhance health, Franzini says. Kept in a special notebook, the list can include shopping at the farmer’s market, walking a pet, scrapbooking, reading a light novel and participating in hobbies. Make a point to do many of these practices throughout the week.

Family members can get on board and write a list of things they enjoy. Everyone needs at least a dozen healthy activities, from walking to journaling, they can use to reduce daily stresses, Radcliffe says.

Update the list, as it will change with job responsibilities, ages of children and seasons of the year. Include the little pleasures.

Savoring a piece of chocolate and reading a few pages of a novel only takes a few minutes but it can improve one’s attitude and energy for the rest of a long day ahead. “Women need to make sure they are getting enough ‘Vitamin P;’ the ‘P’ is for ‘Pleasure,’” Franzini says. l Kim Seidel is a busy wife, mother of two daughter and writer and editor. She’s continually trying new ways to reduce stress and create more positive energy in her life.

Lumiere Laser & Vein Center is Here for Your Skin Care Needs

O

ver time, what women want is to be able to get older yet still feel beautiful. And although we tend lead busy lives and are constantly on the go, when we look in the mirror we all see something different. There are times we might not like what we see - time changes us all. We notice a few more wrinkles around our mouth and eyes, redness in the skin, sunspots getting darker, tired eyes, a little extra bulge around the mid-section or spider veins on your legs.

If this sounds familiar, visit Lumiere Laser & Vein Center where you can find the answers to your skin care needs.

Located in Oconomowoc, WI in a beautiful private setting, Lumiere always offers a complimentary consultation to address your concerns. For example, Lumiere can provide revitalizing treatments for sun damage, rosacea, acne, facial scarring, fine lines and wrinkles. The staff can also provide skin tightening treatments with the Cutera laser, and injectables that smooth and tighten your skin using Botox cosmetic, Dysport, Restylane, Juvederm, and Pearlane.

Is your main concern the extra bulge around your mid-section? For a non-invasive fat reduction treatment, Lumiere offers i-Lipo Ultra, a new painless alternative to liposuction. The treatment includes body contouring, cellulite reduction and skin tightening. Since this procedure is not a surgery, no needles are used and there is no downtime.

Lumiere Laser & Vein Center is directed by Michael Jay Phillips, M.D., a board certified General, Laparoscopic, Vascular and Endovascular Surgeon. Dr. Phillips also offers a complimentary consultation to answer your questions about spider veins, sclerotheropy and varicose veins.

We’re just a Click away Check us out at

mymilwaukeelife.com April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 19

Protect Your Skin and Stay Cancer Free

D

ermatology Associates of Wisconsin knows it’s that time of year again. We have been accustomed to the overcast, cloudy, snowy weather over the last few months, but now that is a thing of the past as spring has arrived. As summer wraps its warmth around another year, you should be thinking about how to protect yourself from its harmful UV rays.

Most people know that the sun emits harmful rays, but not everyone knows how to stay protected. Did you know that even on a cloudy day you could still get sunburn? Up to 80 percent of UV rays can penetrate clouds and fog. In order to protect your skin, you should always wear sunscreen when outdoors. The best way to enjoy the summer sun while still staying safe is to lather on SPF 30 or higher. Currently one in five people in America risk developing skin cancer at some point in his/her lifetime. It takes less than one minute to cover up with sunscreen. It takes nearly an hour or more to remove an area on your skin that has developed into cancer. That one minute it takes to put on sunscreen could be the deciding factor between developing skin cancer and staying cancer-free.

20 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

Dermatology Associates of Wisconsin wants to make sure that each and every one of our friendly Wisconsin neighbors are cancer free. We strive for excellence from the beginning. Whether you are interested in scheduling an appointment for a skin cancer screening or following up for a surgical procedure to remove a skin cancer, we will be there for you 100 percent of the time. It is our goal to create an environment where you can feel comfortable, welcomed and informed. No one should be in the dark about the harmful effects of the sun, and we intend to educate as many people as we can about the dangers of excessive sun exposure.

Please call 1-855-DERMWIS or visit our website at www. dermwisconsin.com to learn more about skin cancer, how to prevent it and what steps to take if you discover a spot of concern. Our friendly staff is available to personally answer your phone call during regular business hours. You will never talk to an automated system when you call Dermatology Associates of Wisconsin. Don’t hesitate, schedule your appointment today!

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The Joys of Parenting Parents

nce upon a time, my mother and I were sworn enNone of it needed a response. None of it needed to be pointed emies. I was a teenager intent on finding my inde- out or commented upon. She wasn’t looking for solutions or pendent way; she was a mother trying to keep a someone to soothe these feelings. She needed someone to listen. headstrong adolescent out of trouble. Every now She needed to get the words out so some of the pain could go, too. and then our silent animosity broke into a loud arSometimes her stories were funny, despite the sad decline gument that invariably ended in tears. they described. Picturing Dad walking into the kitchen with Having raised two daughters of my own, I can now appreciate brown shoe polish on his face (he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed that Mom was truly looking out for my best interests. And in im- to shave with it) made me laugh out loud. Sometimes my laughter posing discipline, she was demonbrought a chuckle from Mom, too. We both strating love. I sure didn’t see it felt better. that way then.

What I learned in listening was the As the years passed, we found breadth and depth of Mom’s feelings. I nevour way to not only a civil relaer knew she had any! She had always been tionship, but also true friendship so efficient, careful not to let the outside and support for one another. world know of any family conflict. Her sigAnd then, Dad got sick. He nature shrug and momentary frown always by: Susan Marshall was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s told me that whatever bothered someone disease. His occasional forgetfulelse was of little consequence to her. She ness changed to quietly anxious confusion before dissolving into had more important things to do. In my adolescent mind I conobliviousness over the simplest things. He shrunk physically, too. sidered her “The Ice Woman.”

Mom was embarrassed at first. She tried to cover his behavior Now I was hearing Mom’s deep pain as she lost her partner of or make excuses for why he kept asking the same question over 60 years and gained in his place a helpless child. Gone were the and over. She called on bad days just to talk and, at first, I offered days of interesting conversation. Gone was the man who had helpful suggestions. Buy a white board and write down the day’s cared for her and led the family. Gone was the woman she had activities. Include meal times and menus. Be patient with him. Be once been in partnership. playful. Enroll him in medication studies to take advantage of Family stories I had never heard before showed me a very new information and free medicine. different aspect of Mom. I began to realize that I was discovering I had a lot of suggestions, none of which Mom accepted or this human in the same way I discovered my daughters as they tried. This upset me and I began to resent her calls. What did she grew up. What a privilege! want from me if nothing I suggested met her approval? Suddenly We Baby Boomers are indeed the sandwich generation, carI was the rebellious teenager again and she was the wicked mom ing for kids and parents. What I have learned in the process is making emotional trouble for me. that the skills of parenting are basic, powerful and timeless. Listen Then I realized that what I had so wanted from her as a kid beyond words. Work to genuinely understand. Manage your own was the very same thing she wanted from me now—a sympathet- emotions. Be willing to suffer together in order to resolve probic ear, a caring shoulder, understanding, acceptance and loving lems. Forgive. Appreciate. Love. support.

If you can do these well, the joys of parenting parents are exWhen I began to listen, she opened her heart just as my quisite. l daughters had done when they were teenagers. But things hapSusan Marshall is an author and speaker whose book, “How to Grow a Backbone: 10 pened that I didn’t expect from Mom. Irrational anger flared up in Strategies for Gaining Power and Influence at Work,” has been translated into multiple languages and is especially popular in Asia. Her work is dedicated to buildthe middle of a conversation. Tears came on suddenly and for no ing strong leaders who create successful organizations, transform school systems, apparent reason. Heavy silence fell between us that felt like broodand develop leaders at all levels. You can reach her at 262-567-5983 or execadvise@mac.com. ing.

building strong WOMEN

April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 21

take good care of you

By Mary Bub

Take Good Care of You!

A Little Mud Walking A fter a long winter, April arrives, bringing hope and promise of all things spring.

What do I think of when we finally arrive at April?

Imagine this, three granddaughters visiting for the weekend and a night of rain that results in mud puddles everywhere.

All of the plans that had been made for being outdoors seemed fruitless. Young, little girl faces looking disappointed become more than enough incentive for a Nana to come up with a wickedly creative plan.

“How about we go out and find the biggest mud puddle ever?”

“Then what?” they asked.

“Well, we can go mud walking,” I replied confidently, as though it was as ordinary as rain. “Mud walking?” They asked, “What is that?”

“Remember when you were little, and mom would take you out for a walk? You would find every puddle you could find and walk through it. Well that is exactly what we are going to do.”

And away we went to find some joy. It didn’t take long for the biggest puddle to show itself. Off came the shoes and the first brave girl walked through, followed by the second and the third. Soon they were all three dancing around in the mud. “Come on, Nana,” they shouted.

Why not? I thought. Soon walking through the mud became running and then, “Oh my!” We slipped and fell seat first. Good thing that they had washable clothes on or their mothers would certainly not be happy with our adventure.

After a bit, everyone washed down with the garden hose. We returned to the house for warm showers followed by a tea party on the deck. They are almost grown up now; they still ask me when we are going to go mud walking again. My perception as I remember this time is that a great memory would have been lost if I had not taken the risk of trusting my intuition. Mud walking is much more fun than staying in and watching movies all day long.

Most of us have heard the phrases, “April showers bring May flowers,” or “Rain, rain, go away, come again another day.” Well, at a WRWI Gathering Circle Weekend, we used a song by JoDee Messina. Here are some of the lyrics: Another day has almost come and gone Can’t imagine what else could go wrong Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door A single battle lost but not the war (‘cause) Tomorrow’s another day And I’m thirsty anyway So bring on the rain.

22 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

Another gathering found us talking about ways to deal with everyday stress. One woman said that she was looking forward to spring when she could go outside and stand in the rain, for her it was a washing, a cleansing kind of a thing to do. We could think of rain, as many do, as a negative thing. Then we might sing like little Susie, “Rain, rain go away, little Susie wants to play.” But really, it is all in how we perceive our personal reality. We see life through our own unique filters and our perceptions are influenced by our beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, personality, interests, feelings, background, wants, needs and our intuition. Experiences, how we are feeling emotionally and our needs at any given time are worth exploring. When thinking about how our mind, body and soul work, we do well to take some time and review our own life stories in light of our past or future perceptions. What do I think about when April rolls around? Am I a person who might sing the childhood chant, “Rain, rain, go away” or bring on the rain? You might compare this to looking at life with the old clichés, glass half empty or glass half full or making lemonade out of lemons. What is different in these two perceptions?

In order to continue our journey to a healthy and fulfilled life, we should spend some time exploring our personal perceptions, which can help us understand the who, what, where and why nots along the way. A simple thing like rain can produce at least another chapter or two in your story. Have you had a “mud walking” experience in your life? In what situations have you said, “Bring it on?”

Some of us are afraid of rain because we associate it with storms.

What is it about storms that is frightening? It is all in our perception of what might happen as we experience the rain or the storm literally or figuratively. Perhaps we had an experience that created a lifelong fear or perhaps we were affected by someone else’s thoughts or feelings. You might be like the woman I described above and enjoy the warm rain and feel that it nourishes you. If, however, you always sing, “Rain, rain go away,” there is no judgment around that because it is after all your story. Live it well! l

Mary is a grass roots activist and social innovator. She is the founder and president of Wisconsin Rural Women’s Initiative, a non-profit organization that provides on-site grass roots programs to individual women and organizations through a Gathering Circle process promoting personal development, transformation and systemic change. She is the winner of the Social Innovation Prize in Wisconsin for 2008, A Purpose Prize Fellow with Civic Ventures, recipient of the Feminarian Award and winner of Wisconsin’s Top Rural Development Initiatives.

Mary Bub can be reached at wisconsinruralwomen@gmail. com.

What to do after you’ve lost your loved one?

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By Rusty Coyle

osing your spouse is a devastating occurrence. On top of learning to cope with this new life and trying to balance your emotions on a daily basis, you will also likely face a new financial future. And this is the last thing you want to deal with when you are mourning your loss. In order to help you get back on your feet emotionally and physically, following a financial plan is essential. Let’s take a look at some steps you can take to help you embark on your new path.

1. Take care of you. Allow yourself time to grieve and work through your emotions. Call on friends and family for support. There’s no time frame for feeling better. Waking up each day and getting out of bed is a step in the right direction. It’s an adjustment period and it will take you a while. But it’s also a time for self-discovery. Take the time you need for yourself to figure out what you want to do going forward.

2. Organize. Organizing your day-to-day needs, including your financials, can help you become more calm and focused.

Start a color-coded filing system for quick access and retrieval of important information. Locate important documents and financial records including: your spouse’s will and other estate planning documents, insurance policies, bank and brokerage statements, stock and bond certificates, deeds, Social Security number, birth and marriage certificates and certified copies of the death certificate.

3. Ask an expert. Get expert assistance from an attorney, tax professional and financial advisor. You will probably need help in reviewing your spouse’s will and other estate planning documents when beginning estate settlement procedures. Settling an estate means following certain legal and administrative procedures to ensure all estate debts are paid and all assets are distributed to the right individuals. A financial advisor can help you by conducting a comprehensive review of your financial situation and identifying any retirement and survivor’s benefits that may be available to you.

4. Apply for benefits. Contact several institutions for information on how you can file for benefits. a. Life insurance – Ask your insurance agent to begin filing a claim or if you don’t have an agent, contact the company directly. b. Social Security Administration – File a benefits claim form through the nearest Social Security office or go online at www.ssa. gov if you qualify for benefits. If your spouse paid into the Social Security system for at least 10 years and was eligible to receive Social Security, you will probably be able to receive a lump-sum death benefit. Unmarried children under age 18 are eligible for benefits and if you are caring for these children, you may qualify for survivor benefits. c. Employers – Contact your spouse’s most recent and past employers to find out if you are eligible for any company benefits.

If your spouse was a federal, state or public employee or in the military you may be eligible for government-sponsored survivor benefits. If available, roll over your spouse’s IRAs into your own. d. Contact the financial aid office if you have a child in college. Your son or daughter may be eligible for special assistance or increased financial aid.

5. Review cash flow. Make sure you have sufficient cash flow and prepare a statement listing where money will come from and where it needs to go in the coming months. Include a list of regular bills. Also, look into tapping certain investments that may be available at face value without penalty.

6. Update account names. Contact your financial institutions (or go online if that option is available) to update account names and contact information.

7. Make new goals. Create an updated financial plan and focus on short-term goals first. Keep your plan simple and manageable. Read a good book about survivorship to give you guidance and inspiration and consider joining a support group for widows or talking with a counselor. Several website support groups for widows, such as www.widowsbound.com, are great resources.

Give yourself the time you need to move forward in your new life. Be wary of making major decisions during the first year when possible. For secure financial guidance, contact a financial advisor to help you navigate your new path. l

This article is meant to be general in nature and should not be construed as investment or financial advice related to your personal situation. Please consult your financial advisor prior to making financial decisions. Rusty Coyle is a Financial Advisor with Waddell & Reed and can be reached at (262) 544-1446 or rustycoyle@wradvisors.com.

Website: www.rustycoyle.wrfa.com.

April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 23

Sue Ann

Says:

By Sue Ann Thompson

W

ith Mother’s Day approaching, I was thinking how blessed I am to live near my children and grandchildren. I am looking forward to spending a relaxing day with them after a delicious brunch. Unfortunately, some women don’t get to relax on Mother’s Day because they have stepped into the role as the main family caregiver. Increasing numbers of women are finding themselves in the Sandwich Generation. The Sandwich Generation refers to parents who are caring for their own parents as well as their own children. The Pew Research Center released the statistic that nearly 47 percent of adults between the ages of 40 and 60 are caring for a child and a parent simultaneously.

Caregiving is Exhausting

The workload you face as a caregiver can be overwhelming, as you attempt to juggle the needs of each family member.

Conflicting schedules, medical issues and household responsibilities can lead to frustration, anxiety and exhaustion. When you are the compassionate caregiver you lose time for yourself, and in turn, your health suffers.

Lose the Guilt

Angil Tarach-Ritchey, RN, Geriatric Care Manager, National Expert in Eldercare and author of Behind the Old Face: Aging in America and the Coming Elder Boom, hit the nail on the head when she told me about the guilt women feel in this position.

“Women in this very difficult role often feel guilty, therefore any time spent on themselves, if any, is bogged down with unwarranted guilt. So first women need to realize guilt is a life draining emotion that has no place in caregiving. The incredible love it 24 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

You Can Defeat Sandwich Generation Burnout with These Practical Tips! takes to take on caring for a parent or parents, especially when the woman is caring for her family, is what guides her decisions so there is nothing to feel guilty about.”

Find Time for Yourself

Lisa Cruz from Appleton, Wisconsin is living this reality of being a Sandwich Generation caregiver. Lisa is a mother of four boys ranging from ages one to 13 years old, and owns and operates a small business (Red Shoes PR, Inc. ®) with six employees. She is also the main support of assistance for her mom as well as her uncle. This is what she had to say about the Sandwich Generation: “Being part of the Sandwich Generation is extremely challenging and can be overwhelming. I have found out that taking time for myself, however, I can is extremely important. I read often, as much as I can, even if it’s only for 20 minutes at a time. I go for massages at least once a month. And I have learned to cut myself some slack. I won’t always have the cleanest house but I will do my best to take care of those I love.”

Practical Tips

Finding those precious moments to relax or spend time with your significant other each day can be impossible. Knowing that many of you are in the Sandwich Generation, here are some healthy tips from professionals to guide you through this demanding time. l Find time to exercise Walk around the block. Do yoga on the patio. Work in the garden. Call a friend and go for a bike ride. Get out for a date and dance! l Eat a healthy diet As a holistic nutritionist and wellness coach from Reno, Nevada, Lisa Metzgar, weighed in with this piece of advice, “Eat a rainbow of color. Stress can cause oxidative stress in our cells, leading to less than optimal function. Eating a whole food diet consisting of fruits and vegetables in a wide array of color will ensure that your body is getting the antioxidants and nutrients to protect your cells and help keep you healthy.” l Divide and Conquer Daily Chores Even your young children can help with chores such as dusting or sweeping.

Have the children practice their reading with grandpa. Can great-grandma teach the children to fold towels? Let your teenager pick up bread and milk or run past the post office with the bills. When some of these small chores are shared by all, you will find some time for yourself. l Use Humor to Brighten the Mood Stressful situations don’t bring out the best in us. Did you burn the garlic bread because you were doing three things at once? Don’t get angry! Laugh about it! Share jokes, pull out those silly pictures when you were little (haircuts are always worth a laugh), tickle your children and give hugs. Use those facial muscles and smile! l Share the Responsibilities with Siblings Communicate with your siblings and see if they can watch mom or dad for a few hours or one night so you can get away. If your siblings live far away, can they contribsue ann says cont. on page 25

sue ann says cont. from page 24 ute financially? They may send a gift certificate for a local restaurant if they know you are running on empty and need a break. l Find local support groups The Wisconsin Aging Network offers local caregiver support programs and resources. A monthly or biweekly meeting with other women in the same situation can help your daily outlook. Obtain information online at http://www.wisconsincaregiver.org/about-us or phone 1-866-843-9810.

Don’t let the challenges of being a Sandwich Generation caregiver affect your health. Protect your physical and mental health first so you are available for your loved ones when they need you the most.

Because it all begins with a healthy woman…

SUE ANN

says...

Sue Ann Thompson is founder and president of the Wisconsin Women’s Health Foundation (WWHF), a statewide non-profit organization whose mission is to help Wisconsin women and their families reach their healthiest potential. by: Sue provides Ann Thompson WWHF programs and conducts forums that focus on education, prevention, and early detection; connects individuals to health resources; produces and distributes the most up-to-date health education and resource materials; and, awards grants and scholarships to women health researchers and related community non-profits. To learn more, visit wwhf.org or call 1-800-448-5148

Gala

Adopt a Pet T

MEET KENYA!

How can you resist that face?

Kenya was a stray, so not much was known about her when she first came to HAWS in August 2012. As a six yearsyoung Pit Bull Terrier, she knows people don’t always like her breed, but she sure likes people anyway! Kenya has “hit the road” with our Mobile Adoption crew – even visiting a senior center – to refine her social skills. She is a pupil with our Mod Squad training volunteers and is learning every day how to be an even sweeter dog…if that’s even possible!

Kenya will most likely need to be an only pet because she is fussy about her animal companions. Interested adopters will meet with a trainer so Kenya can keep up all the great things she’s accomplished while she has been a resident at HAWS. Kenya has such a charming SMILE and just wants to be loved.

Help all the paws and claws at HAWS – like Kenya – by joining in the fun and fundraising at our 30th Anniversary Pet Walkathon! Come to Sussex Village Park on Saturday, May 4th to walk, play, shop, win prizes and support the HAWS cause.

Create your very own, personal fundraising webpage and forward to all your family and friends so they can donate in your honor, saving lives and helping animals in our community. Visit hawspets.org for all the details!

SP R I N G

S A T U R D AY, M AY 4 · 2 0 1 3

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S TAT E C A P I T O L R O T U N D A

oin us for an elegant evening in the beautiful State Capitol Rotunda as the backdrop to a fun and energetic evening of dancing, dinner, hors d’oeuvres, desserts, wine, champagne, beer and spirits.

Benefitting WWHF’s statewide health education programs focusing on prevention & early detection.

for tickets

&

information

VISIT WWHF.ORG OR CALL 800.448.5148, EXT. 114

ou r s p o n s o r s

b e n e fa c t o r s

BRAVA

adams pat r o n s

The Cudahy Foundation mentors American Transmission Company LLC · BMO Harris Bank · MIG Commercial Real Estate · Rogers Memorial Hospital · Turville Bay MRI & Radiation Oncology Center · UW Health · Von Briesen & Roper SC

media sponsors Adam's Outdoor Advertising · BRAVA Magazine · WISC-TV · Wisconsin Woman of Greater Milwaukee

April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 25

Choosing a Summer Camp is No Easy Task for Parents

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The answer is, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yes, it can be.â&#x20AC;?

While the cost of summer camps may seem overwhelming when you look at the family finances, you may want to take these issues into consideration before you make your final decision: Consider the cost of sending your child to camp versus the cost of sending your child to daycare. When both parents work, a week at summer camp can actually be a great value for families.

For example, if you paid a babysitter the current minimum wage of $7.25 per hour to watch your child for one week 24 hours a day for seven days the cost would be $1,218 for that week. Now when you compare the two choices paying $600 a week for summer camp is a much better deal than the $1,218 for the babysitter. Does summer camp look more affordable?

Summer camp may be an investment in your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s future.

There are many benefits for a child attending a summer camp, especially if your child attends an academic or technology summer camp. Attending these and other types of summer camps could provide them with opportunities to learn and network with people with similar interests. Who knows, those friendships they make at camp may actually benefit them in the future when they are lookMake friends at

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Plymouth, WI

ing for employment.

Is the summer camp tuition tax deductible? In the past, there has been a child care credit available to two-earner families or those with single parents. Basically, if your child attends a day camp, which would allow married parents or a single parent to continue working, the camp tuition, up to 20 percent, may be deductible under a child care credit. You would have to ask a financial advisor for specific financial information regarding this credit and your eligibility.

When it comes to summer and their children, parents have tough decisions to make, especially when finances are involved.

However, sometimes the short- and long-term benefits, including knowing that your child is in a safe environment with both food and entertainment, far outweigh the cost. l

HOOFBEAT RIDGE CAMP For YOUR HORSE LOVER

Quality camp experience in supervised, positive environment

Open to girls ages 7-16 • Trained, caring • Western and English, counselors Lessons Daily • Modern bunkhouses • Riders grouped • Over 65 horses according to riding • Family owned and style & ability operated since 1963 • Certified Riding • 250 Scenic Acres Instructors Accredited by American Camping Association Ted and Mary Marthe 5304 Reeve Road • Mazomanie, WI 53560-9544 • (608)767-2593

www.hoofbeat.org

T E P month the of Raina and Mia

Here is a picture of Raina, a Springer Spaniel, and Mia, a Siamese cat. These two are great friends now, but it wasn’t always this way.

According to their owner, Betty from Mukwonago, when the family first got Mia, she was such a tiny “kitty” they had to shelter her from Raina, who really wanted to catch and pounce on her. The two pets were kept apart for a year and a half until Betty was at her wits end.

“I decided to use a spray bottle with water and sprayed the dog whenever she chased the cat,” said Betty. “It got to the point that if I just said the word ‘water’ the dog would stop and look at me.”

All this has changed, and Betty says, “It is now such a joy, they greet each other each morning, and can be together all the time. The cat can even sneak a piece of food out of the dog’s bowl and the dog just sits and watches it! It has just worked out so well for us, we are now at peace.”

Betty wanted to pass this idea on to others that have a similar problem with their pets.

April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 27

all about

PETS

By Matthew “Uncle Matty” Margolis

F

of the Chase

The Thrill

rom where the dog sits, there’s not much that beats the thrill of the chase. It’s in their blood -- the prey drive, the chase instinct. It’s an urge once based on survival, one passed on from the dog’s early brethren: the wolf.

But times have changed. For the African spotted dog, also known as the painted wolf, the chase is still wrapped up in the kill or survival. For your dog and my dog, the thing most likely to be killed by the chase is your dog or my dog.

As humans, we are blessed with the ability to connect dots, to weigh possibilities, to foresee consequences. And yet so many of us fail to consider the consequences of our dogs running loose in an increasingly close and crowded world.

It’s thought that hundreds of thousands of dogs are killed on U.S. roads every year. Liberal estimates reach a million. Some of these dogs were strays. Some were even wild. But many were chasing balls tossed by their owners, taking advantage of an open front door or freely wandering their neighborhood as they were permitted to do day after day.

I’ve known dogs who were permanently maimed by a runin with a car. I’ve seen dogs hit by cars right before my eyes. One such dog was in an open garage with his owner when a dog on a

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leash, out for a run with his owner who was on a bicycle, trotted across his sightline. The scene was irresistible to the unleashed dog, and he ran smack into an SUV. The dog’s owner was in shock.

The driver was hysterical. The dog was lucky. He survived. The other incidents I’ve witnessed did not turn out so well.

But it’s not just dogs who get hurt in these stories.

When people driving cars see dogs loose in the street, they swerve, they slam on their brakes, they do what they can to avoid hitting the dog. In doing so, they bring injury to themselves and others in the form of traffic accidents and collisions with joggers, cyclists, pedestrians and other animals on sidewalks or in intersections.

There have also been legal cases where a loose dog chased a person into the street, and that person was then hit by a car. It is the owner, not the dog, who is sued -- and possibly charged -- in those instances. For most of us, being the cause of the death of a person is a huge burden to shoulder, regardless of whether the offense is determined punishable by law.

And being the cause of the death of your own dog is no easier to bear. When a domestic dog is killed by a car, it almost always could have been prevented.

To dramatically increase the odds that you’ll never have to feel the painful regret that comes with losing a dog this way, take these simple steps: n Add a screen door to any doorway that opens to a road or unsecured area. n Secure any yard the dog spends time in with a fence he cannot jump over or otherwise get around. n Keep your dog on a leash whenever he isn’t inside your home or in a secure yard. If his leash attaches to a collar, make sure the collar fits properly: loose enough to breathe comfortably, but not so loose that he can slip out of it. n Teach your dog the “stay” and “place” commands. “Place” should be a good six feet from the door.

In Africa, the chase still has its place. Out of Africa, the chase, wild and unbounded, is better gone to the wolves. l

Woof!

Dog trainer Matthew “Uncle Matty” Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series “WOOF! It’s a Dog’s Life!”

My 2900 Golf Road, Pewaukee (262) 650-8000 www.westwoodfitness.org

Connect with us!

28 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

CHECK US OUT AT

w www.mymilwaukeelife.com

Demure Diva:

Fashion

Drawing inspiration from the 1950s and 1960s, this trend is sugar and spice and (almost) everything nice.

Shirtwaist dresses Rhinestone jewelry Retro frame clutch handbags Pastel sheer hosiery

For The Season

spring/summer 2013

African Oasis:

This vibe is relaxed, simple, roughened and natural – one with nature!

Carved wood jewelry Tribal style necklaces Warm weather leather Anything in animal print

Deco Moderne:

F

lipping through the fashion magazines at this time of year can be stressful! The newness of the season is exciting, but it’s also confusing. Sure, that dress is adorable, but is it age appropriate? Oh, I love the idea of a leather jacket for spring, but can I pull it off with my body type? I’m crazy about “smoky eyes,” but I don’t know one end of the eyeliner pencil from the other. HELP! I find it helpful to “name” the different trends. Then, I muse about my wardrobe and figure out which of the trends I’m naturally drawn to. Only then can I begin to think about what updates I might want to incorporate.

Let’s explore four of the major trends for spring*: HAPPY SPRING SHOPPING. Yours in fashion, Faye

book of the month

Dropped waists, sequins, feathers, pearls – oh my! This Gatsby Girl lights up the dark with shimmer and shine.

Pearl strands Beaded net shawls Black sheer hose Anything with fringe

Sport Authority:

A trend characterized by sleek high-tech materials. Colors are bright and bold with patterns that are striped and blocked.

Leather/suede cuff bracelets Color blocking Messenger bags Drawstring and bungee cord detailing Where to from here? I don’t believe in being “trendy.” I do believe in staying “updated.” Which of the elements outlined above appeals to you? Can you simply invest in a fringed shawl and throw it over your favorite cardigan? Of course you can. And…VOILA…you are Deco Moderne! Everyone has some animal print item in their closet – move it front and center, and you’re right on trend with African Oasis. Are you getting the picture?

Staying updated is not a revolution…it’s an evolution. l Faye Wetzel is the founder and owner of Faye’s clothing stores in Brookfield and Mequon.

For more information visit her website or for more in-depth trend reporting and other fashion related articles, visit www.FAYES123.com. *Trend copy major source Accessories Magazine, Spring 2013.

All the Lonely People

Perfect for fans of Tina Fey, Jennifer Weiner, Nick Hornby and Jen Lancaster, this wry, touching novel from the author of Driving Sideways follows a cast of five endearing misfits who form a family of choice to try and make sense of their families of origin.

After losing her beloved mother to cancer, 37-year-old Jaime Collins must confront the ugly fact that she and her siblings don’t actually like one another at all. Fueled by grief and an epic argument at Thanksgiving dinner, Jaime decides to divorce her brother and sister and posts an ad describing

her ideal family as well as her likes and dislikes on Craigslist in search of a new family with whom to share Christmas dinner.

What happens next is a heartwarming, funny, and surprising journey to forgiveness and healing. Is blood really thicker than water? What makes a family? And how far do we have to go to find our way back home again?

Dedicated to anyone who has ever wanted to unfriend a relative on Facebook, All the Lonely People is about family: those you make ... and those you make peace with.

April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 29

Meredith Cruz, M.D., has been appointed Assistant Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology in the division of Maternal Fetal Medicine at the Medical College of Wisconsin (MCW). She sees patients at Froedtert Hospital, Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, Froedtert Health Community Memorial Hospital, Waukesha Memorial Hospital and Froedtert Health St. Joseph’s Hospital – West Bend.

WOMEN on the move

Madison Medical welcomes Pediatric Dermatologist Dr. Valerie Lyon to its Grafton office. As a nationally recognized dermatology and pediatric dermatology physician, Dr. Lyon is an expert in diagnosing and treating skin, hair and nail conditions.

She is now accepting patients, ages newborn to 21, at the Grafton Medical Center.

Jessica Taylor Goldstein, M.D., has been appointed assistant professor of family and community medicine at the Medical College of Wisconsin (MCW). She sees patients at the Waukesha Family Medicine Clinic. Board certified in family medicine, Dr. Goldstein’s clinical interests are maternity care (including operative obstetrics), reproductive health, clinical teaching and working with underserved patients in the community.

The law firm of Quarles & Brady LLP announces that Kathryn “Katie” A. Muldoon has joined the firm’s Milwaukee office as an attorney in the Trusts and Estates Practice Group. She is experienced in working with high net worth clients and their families to structure tax-efficient estate plans, counseling clients regarding post-mortem tax planning, preparing estate tax returns, guiding non-profit organizations through incorporation and dissolution processes and assisting trustees with trust administration and investment decisions.

Rebekah Gundry, Ph.D., assistant professor of biochemistry at the Medical College of Wisconsin (MCW) and a member of its Biotechnology and Bioengineering Center, has received the 2013 Robert J. Cotter Young Investigator Award from the U.S. Human Proteome Organization (US HUPO). The award was established in honor of the late Dr. Robert Cotter, a founding US HUPO board member, to recognize young scientists using proteomics (the study of protein structure and functions) to research human biology.

Fast-talking Tupperware Lady, Dixie Longate, packed up her catalogues, left her children in an Alabama trailer park and is taking America by storm! Join Dixie in Vogel Hall as she throws a good ol’ fashioned Tupperware Party filled with outrageously funny tales, heartfelt accounts, free giveaways, audience participation and the most fabulous assortment of Tupperware ever sold on a theater stage!

CONTAINS ADULT INNUENDOS. MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER 16.

Froedtert Health has promoted Caryn Esten, MS, MBA, to vice president of planning and strategic support services. Esten has served as Froedtert director of planning and strategic support services since 2008. In her new role, she will lead efforts to streamline collection, management and analysis of market, volume, clinical, financial and patient experience data. She will also have extended responsibilities in business intelligence and will also support a unified business planning process in collaboration with the Medical College of Wisconsin.

Limited Engagement! May 14-26 VOGEL HALL • MARCUS CENTER Box Office: 414.273.7206 MarcusCenter.org • Ticketmaster.com Tickets $45 • Groups of 10+ Save! Call 414.273.7121 Ext.210 30 | WISCONSIN WOMAN April 2013

Wisconsin Woman Magazine

events

Sathve e

DATE

April 1

Open Access to Waukesha County Lakes Open for the Season Visit these lakes this April: Nagawicka, Nemahbin, Pewaukee, Ashippun and School Section Lake. www.waukeshacountyparks.com

April 1

Waukesha County Campgrounds Open for the season Visit these parks for camping this summer: Menomonee Park, Mukwonago Park, Muskego Park and Naga-Waukee Park. www.waukeshacountyparks.com

April 4

Milwaukee Art Museum Free First Thursdays 700 N. Art Museum Drive Milwaukee

Admission to the museum is free for individuals and families (excluding groups) on the first Thursday of each month. (414) 224-3200 or www.mam.org.

April 5 – 7

The Jersey Boys Sound and More

April 6

Festival of Arts 400 University Dr., West Bend

A campus-wide celebration of the arts, juried arts & craft fair, top student artwork contest display, musical entertainment, farmers market and more from 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Free admission and parking.

April 6

Trailbreaker Marathon Schuetze Recreation Center Downtown Waukesha

This 21st Waukesha tradition consists of a full marathon, half-marathon and a 5K Run/Walk. All events begin at the Schuetze Recreation Center in Downtown Waukesha, running along the Fox River in Frame Park. The full marathon continues on the Glacial Drumlin Trail to the top of the Lapham Peak Tower and returns. Registration is now available! Visit http://www. runthetrailbreaker.com.

April 12

Circle of Women Delta Center 400 W. Wisconsin Ave.

Oh, What a Night! The MSO salutes those magical “do-wop” Jersey harmonies in a celebration of Frankie Vali and The Four Seasons, starring original Jersey Boys cast member John Lloyd Young. The music that captured our imagination – and has held it ever since.

(414) 291-7605.

The YWCA is the oldest and largest organization in the world run by women for women. The annual Circle of Women luncheon helps to broaden awareness and support for our programs. Guests will hear testimonies from women whose lives have been changed through our many programs. The event is 11:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. To learn more and to register for this event visit www.ywca.org.

April 6

April 12 –May 5

Milwaukee County Zoo

Todd Wehr Theater Marcus Center for Performing Arts

Marcus Center for the Performing Arts 929 N. Water St., Milwaukee

Family Free Day at the Zoo On these special days you receive free zoo admission but the parking fee is still in effect. www.milwaukeezoo.com

Jackie and Me

Enjoy young Joey Stoshack as he adventures in time with the help of his baseball playing card to visit Jackie Robinson for an assignment from school on a legendary African American. (414) 273-7206.

April 14

5th Annual Autism Awareness Bowling Fundraiser New Berlin Bowl 16000 W. Cleveland Ave., New Berlin

The Good Friend, Inc. organization, dedicated to creating autism awareness, is hosting its fifth annual event. This Hawaiian-themed bowling fundraiser is looking for teams of 4-6 bowlers, ages 3 and older, choose a start time of 10:30 a.m. or 1 p.m. and register online at www. goodfriendinc.com.

April 18

Free Third Thursdays Betty Brinn Children’s Museum 929 E. Wisconsin Ave., Milwaukee

Enjoy free admission from 5 – 8 p.m. courtesy of US Bank & FOX 6, along with free programs. (414) 390-5437 or www.bbcmkids.org/.

April 23 – 28

Catch Me If You Can Marcus Center for the Performing Arts

Broadway musical that tells the story of Frank W. Abagnale, Jr., a teenager who runs away from home in search of the glamorous life. With nothing more than his boyish charm, a big imagination and millions of dollars in forged checks, he poses as a pilot, doctor and lawyer.

(414) 273-7206.

April 26 Zootastic!

Milwaukee County Zoo 10001 W. Blue Mound Rd.

This exclusive, family-oriented evening event features animal experiences, crafts, refreshments and entertainment. Families can spend quality time together as they follow

their map to various spots around the zoo. 5 – 9 p.m. You must pre-register by April 13 online or call (414) 258-2333.

April 27

Walk MS: Lake Country Arrowhead High School-South Campus 700 North Ave., Hartland

Check in at 9 a.m. site opens at 10 a.m. – 1 p.m. Visit info.wisms@nmss. org.

April 27

Walk MS: Menomonee Falls Menomonee Falls High School W142 N8101 Merrimac Dr. Menomonee Falls

Check in at 9 a.m. Site opens at 10 a.m. – 1 p.m. Visit wisms@nmss.org.

April 27

Retzer Nature Center’s Earth Day Finale Family fun from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Fun includes crafts, hikes, programs, campfire songs with s’mores and end your day with a night hike. www.waukeshacountyparks.com.

Ongoing events

Color Rush: 75 Years of Color Photography in America through

May 19

Milwaukee Art Museum 700 N. Art Museum Drive, Milwaukee

Color Rush presents approximately 140 color photographs made between 1907, when the Lumière Brothers began marketing the autochrome, and 1981, when the use of color photography in art was no longer as contentious as it once had been. www.mam.org.

April 2013 WISCONSIN WOMAN | 31