tyler fenn featherweight poems by tyler fenn

hank volume one

featherweight poems first twenty three

with observational remarks by readers

ÂŠtylerfenn2 007 all poems printed as originally published at www. poetry. tetto. org

Contents Part One- The Poems jack my dog's eye for things . . . with his face a foot away from heaven epigram #48 for buk Spel Lingbe for Ali for pablo

11 12 13 14 15 16 17

INTERLUDE

THE HORIZON AND THE PLUMED PUNCTURE ball slinky found words- the killing bat found words- tobago skull beach grocery girl blueberries swing hammer peace- for Gnormal old man ipsissimous bucket pagan galvanize

19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35

ABOUT THE POEMS

Contents Continued

Part Two- Reader Remarks

INTRODUCTION TO THE OBSERVATIONS

reader remarks

FROM ONE, MANY ONE

NOTE PAGES

PART ONE

the poems

( none of these poems are wisecracks)

j ack my dog' s eye for things an ant can travel 3 times ' round an aphid before the aphid blinks and i, i' ve seen it happen, and so' s my dog j ack.

. . . with his face a foot away from heaven in the beginning. . . staring up, a focused eye. . . blinks as gold paint drips down and lightly splatters a genius cheek, mimicking priceless tears. by the end. . . the blurried eye older. . . blinks as red paint streams down a genius cheek, stigmata tears spent within the chapel vault, creating in the creator the saints he wished to paint.

epigram #4 8 One of the most important things to learn is how to put oneself to sleep properly. . . remembering to lay the hands flat and not clenched in a fist so the stress and bad energy can flow freely out the fingers during the night.

for buk you with the barbells heaved over your head standing in front of the fridge filled with dos equis really makes me laugh and i love the drawing of the dog that graces my screams from the balcony, i wish i had you sign my entire library before you died in LA that summer, and i really get a kick out of the fact that your chosen name for salutations rhymes with puke.

Spel Lingbe ess, pee, eee, ell. . . elleyeenngeeeeeeee. . . spelling bee.

for Ali me, we say, clay.

"me, we" were two words that Muhammad Ali uttered to the Harvard graduating class sometime around '72 when they shouted for a poem from him. I have been told that, along with something by Eliot, it is the only two word assemblage in English recognized as a poem.

for pablo admittedly your genius makes me j ealous but even so, it is often you i turn to when i am empty of ideas. your body of work inspires, but also exhausts. these are times when andy' s coke bottles are a welcome reprieve. i' ll keep up the conversation and one day we' ll toast to the priceless value of the goats, and to don and sancho.

INTERLUDE THE HORIZON AND THE PLUMED PUNCTURE

I lived in the West Indies a total of four years and spent most of my time cutting my teeth on sculpture and roti. The sculpture came with me to England but i sure miss the roti. . . A thirty six year old boy sits at a computer amid sounds of a tropically hot evening on the West Indian isle of Antigua pondering across a moonlit Caribbean sea whose horizontal is abruptly stopped by the smoking mountain on Montserrat. The volcano and the sea horizon, a colossal sized crux. He has been writing poetry for a while, and j ust now thinking of how his poetry can offer him something different from the steel sculpturing that is his labour. He closes his eyes and types the following poem and titles it â&#x20AC;&#x2DC; ballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; . He laughs. It is j ust for him and has made him laugh and taught him a new power in a new medium and publishes the poem and accidentally has sent himself in motion again.

ball i have a ball. it' s red and fun. sometimes i roll on my ball on my belly, but mostly i bounce it. it makes a funny noise. boing, boing, boing. when i throw my ball in the air and it comes down and hits me on the head, it doesn' t hurt. it' s a good ball.

slinky i have a slinky. it goes down the stairs, but stops if you don' t do it right. my slinky is metal, not plastic and makes a nice noise. there is a song that goes with it. sometimes i hang from my nose, and sing it.

found words- the killing bat the directions from my killing bat: " TRUCTION OF CHAOLI TYPE MOSQUITO KILLING FAN Chaoli electric mosquitos rilling bat adopts the newest techniques in the worid. It uses two um-5 olry batteries to produce power, and with the electronic circuit to change the power into high voltage in the bat( bat there is very small eteclric current in the bat) with which rills mosquitoes. It does not radiate harmfully, and with no poison and bad smell. It is a good hand in rilling mosquiloes at home, and it is safe to use it. Use Direction: Open the battery box on the end of the handle, put in two 5# batteries. Hold the handle and keep a finger on the switch, the indicator light on, the bat works. Move the finger off the switch, the indicator light out, no voltage on the wire net. Notice: 1. The bat can not be used as a toy for children. 2 . Do not often use metal no touch the wire net to cause sport when the bat works. 3. Keep the bat dry, do not be damped, do not use wet towel to wipe the wire net and handle. 4 . Clean the body of fly and mosquito on the wire net often to improve killing result. Caution: Do not touch the wire net when the bat works. " reproduced faithfully.

found words- tobago today i saw, black people open your eyes

skull my skull is not a human skull though, it is a cattle skull from a cow. mine has leather, but only left on half of its face and it has both horns. if i put it in the sun, it will be all white one day. even teeth. *

*health tip: the sun.

for white teeth, smile into

beach for three steps it' s stones then sand an ashtray if you look close not secluded but empty now riddled with footprints of ghosts resembling the effect of giant raindrops it is wide and long and a hundred paces to the waters edge where the land slides beneath slow soft waves that allow a view of the beach as it continues underneath footprints vanish replaced by dunes caused by water movement leatherbacks lumber up leaving heaps of sand and tracks like bulldozers as turtles have been doing since this shore was roamed by dinosaurs sometimes i can still imagine them sneaking up to bite a wedge out of my skull maxwell' s silver velociraptor

grocery girl her nipples shot across the produce when she saw me have you any parsnips i asked no we don' t but i love those she answered i like your body i said actually i didn' t but i should have she' d have said what about my face and i' d have said her body included her face and she' d laugh but instead i bought two murray' s free range chickens and walked out wondering if she had thin thighs

blueberries blueberries are good about the size of a large pea but not green like them i like to eat mine one by one two at the same time seems indulgent i had blueberries on my strawberry shortcake but took them off and never on pancakes they grow on a vine and they stain your shirt if you let them the pits don' t matter

swing my swing swings high, but sometimes i j ust sit. it' s not rope but chains, with a rubber u. i' m not always pushedi like to do it myself. and if you swing both legs you' ll swing straight , but if you swing one, you' ll wobble.

hammer my hammer is thirty two ounces blue handle dark throat big head without the waffle grid and will fly out of my hand if my hand gets too sweaty

peace- for gnormal forest stick heavy thick hunt meat kill heart swell fire turn spit eat good

Winner of the First Gnormal Poetry Critical Competition booby prize in an internet based competition composed from a list of given words

old man the old man was left on my doorstep shaggy and full of foxtails i shaved him and snipped his balls the sores on his ass started to heal and years of family life fell off him to such a degree that he fought with the neighbourhood stud over the girl next-door and got his ear ripped off i moved him on a cold christmas morning in a ' 7 2 Scout with no heat over the passes of Utah stopping every two hours lifting him out of the back to set him down to waddle off and pee and each time i lifted him back up he would release his gas and smile the old man survived that move from L. A. to the mountains of Colorado and lived comfortably for two more years until he j ust couldn' t make it outside not even to sniff or shit so my ex-girlfriend had him euthanized while i was in Brazil and i never got to say goodbye to my old man

ipsissimous is my very own my ipsissimosity my very own in my own way ipsissimously thanks f. n. for the coin

bucket this light blue bucket faded to it not steel but the handle is used for water, mostly and sits at the cistern where i bathe it' s not too heavy when loaded, even so you shiver as it fills so only go halfway.

pagan iamapagantobesure forofthegodstheynumbermore thanalltheleavesuponthetrees orgrainsofsandupontheshores

galvanize sword of Damocles reflects mad sun modern thatch of primitive hut sine curve razorblade wielded by wind decapitates heads once covered

ABOUT THE POEMS These poems were written in Antigua, West Indies and Millerton, New York, during the course of 2 004 . I have published them here in the order and format that they were originally posted. To me, selecting out certain poems to place in a volume rends what little structural integrity the conscience might have, and to edit them would be like rewriting history. These poems were yarned in little instances over time. So they remain as a thread. I' m glad this volume ends with ' galvanize' . By the time it was written a language had arrived, what I enj oy about writing poetry was becoming habit, and my method had become focused. ( not that I haven' t lost all of it from time to time since ' galvanize' ) . What I love about this poem is how varied its interpretation was, when I was literally j ust describing and thinking on nothing but corrugated roofing. The bare bones description of an obj ect in simple words had become something capable of creating the abstract. England, June 5, 2 007

PART TWO notes- observation by readers

INTRODUCTION TO THE OBSERVATIONS These comments were left by readers soon after each poem was published on the website Poetry Critical. I chose the comments rapidly, with no thought towards how well they do or do not analyze the poems, but solely with an eye towards their emotion or esthetic. They are reprinted exactly as written. No credit is given their authors as most of the comments were posted anonymously or under assumed names. I apologize to all of those whose words I' ve taken, but as they were written as a reaction to my poems I guess they belong to me. For a complete listing of all of the readers comments please visit the website.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' j ack my dog' s eye for things'

- a sucker for this. i love the "be duum. " finish.

- This is not a poem. It is just Aa couple dozen words.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' . . . with his face a foot away from heaven'

- I want to lie down and stare at the roof for a week. The words in lines 11-16 were just waiting to be put in that order.

- where did this endless dribble come from. . I have seen your comments on others` work, maybe you should learn to write a poem yourself, then maybe you could comment more efficiently. This poem sucks athoud=sand donkey dicks, and thats being kind.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' epigram #4 8'

- This i like a lot - beautifully done h - I felt i was uncoiling - every word is measured- not just a beautiful piece of prose poetry, but a beautiful message as well - just as an epigram should be - i will try to always remember this when i go to bed. - i for one, will take it onboard. - oh fuck. i am on board too, already. . hands flat, breath holding - not a poem!

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS ' for buk'

- You're a very curious patron of the site, hank. The things you write are sometimes obtuse, sometimes very simple, and sometimes more 'poem'-like. The first two stanzas of this are definitely more 'poem'-like (I keep feeling the need to put "poem" in quotes as if to specify a certain definition of the word which does not necessarily encompass all definitions of it) . Then the last is of the more simple type. But the whole thing is obtuse at the same time to me, because I'm not all that familiar with these elements of Bukowski; you talk of him as a person but I don't know anything about him as a person. For me he's just a name attached to some collections of words. But despite this this piece still feels like it has a connection to those words. I don't quite know what to make of you, hank. I don't know what to say for your pieces, because you really do seem like you know exactly what you are saying, and every word is chosen over all the other words that could have been used. It seems like you are writing this realist tragicomedy almost in your pieces. I hope I can figure out what I can say about an individual piece at some point, because right now all I've got is to look over everything you've got up and give a general analysis as best I can over your oeuvre. I am looking out for your further work.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' Spel Lingbe'

- Absolutely breathtaking.

- absolutely pointless.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' for Ali'

- You don't have to know much about Ali to understand the poem "me, we. " Ali transcended his profession to become a major leader and icon of the second half of the 20th century. Did you know that the FBI and CIA considered him one of the most dangerous people living in the US at the height of his popularity? His poem, given to a predominantly white Harvard graduating class, was an echo of his and many others struggle to live and see a tolerant society. Not a colorless society but a nation of citizens that appreciate diversity and fairness. Me as a part of we, and when said by each individual constructs the framework for confirming the belonging as an equal piece of a whole. Just my take.

- WTF i dont get it 52

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' for pablo'

- Pablo Picasso no? but for whichever Pablo you mean hank, you've done a great job here. I take it to be Picasso because of your reference to Warhol, but this is such an inspiring piece the voice of the poem is so warm. Straight to my fave list. - very fine tribute to Neruda, I'm guessing. Please correct me if I err. I wonder, Hank, does jealousy inspire you or merely turn you green? perfect poem - A mi, me gustan las cabras! Muy bien escrito este poema! (Pablo Neruda rocks) ! - Do you actually think that Picasso would find anything of interest in this poem? Where's the edge? Is this supposed to have been inspired by either Pablo or Warhol? I find nothing here to indicate anything of the sort. Perhaps this is just an exercise in name-dropping. . . ? 53

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' ball'

- If this was on paper, I would burn it. 1 - Isn't way past your bedtime? Made me smile, though! - Dont smoke crack. - wish you had a thought instead - Very limited idea, poorly developed, no poetic structure. A bit of a mess really. - i absoutely LOVED this! l10 is priceless. thanks for bringing some laughter to me on an otherwise shitty day! : ) - hank, this was recomended reading (thanks be to [removed by author] ) - it was offered as (a fine) example of accomplished writing. We had discussed poets posting work which at first would appear to have been submitted by a simpleton and as such has achieved its goal. - very nice. 54

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' found words- the killing bat'

- What is this doing on a poetry site?

- absolurely fuckin' batty, its so bad it doesn't even take the piss

- dont stop.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' found word- tobago'

- Yeah, this doesn't mean much. Maybe the comma needs to be taken out. But it's still too short and ambiguous to be very meaningful. - the ambiguity makes it intriguing. remember these are "found words" so any addition would ruin the significance behind the concept of a "found" poem. - i truley dont know HOW to comment on this. . . the only thing that i can pull from this is its amazing capacity to confuse me. . . . . . . . . . . - epiphany in tobago - a tourist wakes up as Gregor Samsa.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' skull'

- No. You've got contemporary, or at least headed in that direction, but a wrong turn somewhere has left you with an absolutely appalling poem.

- A cattle skull from a cow? Didn't see that coming. . .

- did you sculpt this o'keeffe moment?

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' beach'

- I like this a lot. It's basic, it's playful, it's historic and sets a scene that anyone who has gone to a beach can sense and almost taste. Lovely. However I have to say that these poems, no breaks in lines, etc, just a lot of words scrunched together, are very hard for me to read. A dyslexia problem, I'm aware, but I have to work at these to get all the way through. Just a hint for some of you who like to dispense with punctuation and white space. Some of us need it. - I love this poem, hank because it allows me to reinterpret what your landscape is. Line one takes us there and helps us recreate the walk. I can really sense how this place transported you and let your imagination grow atavistic fear. Wonderful. May I suggest the novel, "The Beach, " by Alex Garland? 58

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' grocery girl'

- This is just bad. Sorry to say. First of all, the "what about my face " is confusing, because we don't know whose face you're talking about. If she's asking what about your face, or hers. And. . . it has potential MAYBE, but this needs a lot of work. - This poem was like a splash of color after reading a lot of black and white. You certainly start this off with a roar, nipples shooting across produce ought to wake anyone. You capture a moment most have had, but describe the details specific to your encounter well. Your language is efficient and I love your description in L9. I think you did a good job of deciding what to put in and what to leave out. Your title sets the scene well. Good poem, made me laugh. I don't agree with those who said this is shallow or perverted, just a window into the male mind. 59

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' blueberries' - In a way, this was cute in its simplicity, HOWEVER. . . . You didn't make us care about these blueberries, nor did you make the blueberries do anything exciting. Nor did your persona do anything earth-shattering. Therefore. . . I say to thee, poet: "So What?" You want it to say something. . . . even if that something isn't muc of anything. As it stands, you are simply making statments about blueberries and they aren't all that interesting, to boot. Think of the outrageous things that blueberries do, like make you turn into a big fat blue blob (Charlie & the Chocolate Factory) or turn your tongue black or stain Gramma's best linen tablecloth. Get creative, mate. . . that is what poetry is all about. Otherwise, everyone would just go around calling their grocery lists "Poems".

- excellent poem, the pits don't matter, was great. . . .

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' swing'

- umjmm - doesn't really do or say anything original to me but how you swing on a swing and this most ppl already know. sry. Maybe if you took the first 2 lines and tell us why you just sit on the swing instead of swinging. Or perhaps why you don't like to be pushed. Just my humble opinion - Man, hank, I really simple, but there's a here. - stupendous. says so so little. or is that around?

like this--so subtle metaphor much by saying the other way

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' hammer'

- Sick. I love it.

- is this about a dick?

- The poem is hard to get, i mean its really literal. . . so if your really talking about a hammer thats intresting. . if your not, then i guess i need help understanding it. . (i do kind of like it though)

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' peace- for gnormal'

- LOve it, Hank. You're the Barney Rubble of poetry. THis is a WINNER - competition or no competition.

- The "caveman" speak is interesting, but I don't know if it really makes it a good poem. . . I can't really decide if I like this or not. Although I understand the effect you were going for, it's way too choppy and doesn't read well.

- no, you don't. no, you can't. no, you don't. yes, it does.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' old man'

- Hi Hank You should surely know by now that this is my favourite poem i ever read on here. So totally depicting concern and indifference in equal measure. I would treasure an old man if he came within my orbit but in the end he would suffer from the lassitude of my indifferent soul.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' ipsissimous'

- were you trying to spell "mississippi"?

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' bucket'

- Have you ever read 'My Granite Pail' by Lorine Niedecker? Is this supposed to be some sort of horrible pastiche? Vile and pointless. - You could have written about love, hate, birth, death etc

- simple, yet complex. foolish, childish, wise and mature. L7 -- have you thought of the Newtonian reference you've (inadvertently?) made? excellent little poem.

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' pagan'

- spacing is ur friend, please us it. - Not bad at all, but see how it blossoms when translated into Old Pagan dialect: ia map agan tob esure fo roft heg odst heyn umberm ore tha nallt helea vesup onth et rees orgra insof sandu pont hesh ores - I'd be interested to know why there are no spaces i. e. what sort of effect are you hoping for? To me there is a suggestion of infinity - really like the idea that pagan religions thought everything had its own god and how you've woven that into the rhythm of the poem. I like very much,

NOTES- COMMENTS ON THE POEMS

' galvanize'

- sexual innuendoes hank? or circumcision? - ah! i will admit, at the risk of sounding simple, that i didnt work out the meaning for myself (thanks mysterious unknown) . . . good one hank, this ones a fucken pearler. - I liked it, before I read it, for it's name. I like it now because you referenced Greek mythology in a poem about roofing. And that is all I have to say.

FROM ONE, MANY ONE As we get older our list of things to do becomes comprised of the things we' ve left undone. As virtue tends towards stupidity, so life is a will towards wrapture. When a family member dies they cease to be your family. They become something much greater. They become a myth. An omnipotent guide. Sometimes they become an exhausitng conscience or a magician who arrives in dreams. They become the arms of Hector that none dare touch. They become a Helen of Troy that none dare do without. They become the overwhelming infatuation of Dante' s Beatrice and Kierkegaard' s Cordelia. And also, in death they become a more lenient j udge. In my case my fathers became god.