Eye of the Vortex - June 2009 by CV Newton Publishing Limited

Editorial Welcome to the beginning of the new look of Eye of the Vortex. I will be your host today... *No no.. too corny...* This marks the beginning of the new Eye of the Vo... *Aww.. no one wants the theatrics..* Today is the day we launch our new... *New what? This is the sixth freaking issue!* o hell with it! This is the lead editorial for the fresh content Eye of the Vortex. In our new direction, we are going to be providing you with something that you cant get anywhere else on the planet. You can get a review of any random game on any random website or magazine. You can get spoilers and previews anywhere! However, what you cannot get outside this publication is the humor and entertainment that only the EoV staff can provide. Don’t think that we are not doing the game reviews and promotions anymore. That is all gravy for us. We love doing that, and will continue doing that. In fact, our standards for that have not lowered. We are still going to present articles on new games and old classics. I am currently pushing to get more table top game companies to work with us to bring them into the spot light as well. So please don’t mistake this change in direction as a left or right turn. Instead, look at it as a slight veer, followed by a pressing of the accelerator. In this new direction, we will be providing you with our perspectives and opinions of the current gaming life. There may be a breaking story that we want to talk about, maybe a common issue that we want to tackle, or maybe Brian wants to take on the oncoming train single handedly and see if he can wrestle his topic to the ground. Prepare yourself for his article, as he tries to do just that... Something that I have not offered in the past, and probably should have is the ability to write a letter to the editor. I am the Editor, and I would be more than happy to hear from you about our publication. I ask that you not only write to me about the negatives, but also some positives. Tell me what you like and don’t like about EoV. But please, take my mother’s advice to me. For every bad thing you say about something or someone, have something lined up in the positive to follow it up. People remember the last thing you say more than the first thing. You can contact me at anytime by sending me an email: c.newton@eyeofthevortexonline.com Don’t forget to check out our page on Facebook! Become a fan and get a prize! Well, maybe not, but it sounded good! Also, we are getting our Twitter on! Be sure to follow us by locating our Twitter IDs on our staff roster page. I hope you enjoy the new format that we have planned. We are working into it slowly, but in a few months you will notice the complete change over and how it is for the better. Thanks as always for your support,

Editorial Chris Newton President — Eye of the Vortex email: c.newton@eyeofthevortexonline.com Check us out on Facebook! Follow me on Twitter!

— Eye of the Vortex (EoV) is a publication intended to promote the gaming industry as a whole by bringing into the spotlight gaming products, personalities, concepts, events, etc. The intent of this publication is not to show favoritism towards any individual game or gaming genre, rather to provide fresh material, education, entertainment, and in general, inform the gaming public of new products and where they can find the product. EoV is not a vendor, nor does it claim to sell any product. EoV only provides an entertainment and informational service to its reader-base as well as a promotional service for its affiliates and sponsors. Images used in this publication are intended for the purpose of promoting the product relative to its use. Unless noted otherwise, all images used henceforth are the sole property of the promoted product’s owner. EoV asks that you help keep us in business by keeping an active interest in our affiliates and sponsors product lines. Our service to you is funded by their generous advertisement payments. Without your interest in their products, our services cannot be maintained. Please do your part in our community by keeping yourself informed and up to date on the newest products that our network has to offer. — Front Cover • Illustration By Kouki Saitou, Bandai — Battle Spirits: Trading Card Game CV Newton Publishing Limited. © 2009 CV Newton Publishing Limited

What Lies Within.. A Look at Pluto Review: Lord of the Rings Online A Very Special EoV Article Battle Spirits TCG Review Journalist Integrity Presenting: Monsters, a partner submitted comic How To Find Out If You Are a Scrub Strip Search Eov Classifieds

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June News

White Wolf Releases New World of Darkness Immortals Character Book: With the release of a new sourcebook for Immortals, characters

Fantasy Flight Releases Warhammer Boardgame, Ties Into MMO:

who of course cannot die, White Wolf adds more content to its widespread fantasy horror RPG setting, and gives both Storytellers and players more options to work with in their latest campaign. The book features three types of immortals—blood bathers, body thieves, and the purified.

Continuing with its agreement with Games Workshop, Fantasy Flight has released another game based on the UK company’s longstanding miniatures property. The boardgame will include “loot” like cards that can give you special benefits in the recently released Warhammer MMO, linking the game both to the minatures property and the digital version of the game.

D&D Monster Manual 2 Hits Shelves: Wizards of the Coast launched

Spiel

its second Monster Manual for its popular D&D 4.0 game, which introduces new monsters for GMs to use and have a go with. The book was released with a Worldwide Play Day, where players could go to local hobby shops and try out the new book through a preprinted adventure using the new book.

CW TV Show Gets Its Own RPG From Margaret Weis Productions:

Players play as hunters from the world of Supernatural, the hit TV show from CW, and fight ghosts, demons, and other nasties and send them back to hell in this horror/action RPG. Players only need one source book, and it’s available in game stores and online at stores like www.drivethrurpg.com.

des

Jahres Nominees Announced: Many of the hobby board

games that see print in the United States are first published in Germany, where board gaming is a much more normal family tradition. Every year, to celebrate the development of new board games, the Spiel des Jahres awards are given to the best board games printed the previous year. This year’s nominee list includes Dominion, Fuana, Finka, Land in Sicht, Nicht zu Fassen, and Zoowaboo. These titles are normally some of the highest preference titles to get published by American gaming companies.

Comics Writer Detained at Airport for “Suspicious Manuscript”: Boom!

Studio’s writer Mark Sable was detained in early May by the Transportation Safety Administration when his luggage was safety checked and revealed a script for Unthinkable, a comic book published by the studio. Unthinkable is a comic book that follows Alan Ripley, a government agent whose job it is to “think of nightmare scenarios and crippling terrorist attacks so the government can safeguard against them,” and what happens when the unthinkable occurs.

King City Revived by Co-Production Of Tokyopop and Image Comics:

Image has worked out a deal to rescue King City after the series was unceremoniously dumped in the Tokyopop implosion earlier last year. Image

will produce the series in a 12-comic series, with a larger formatted book. The first volume will be reprinted with extra features, and will start production in August.

Viz Media Dominates Charts With Naruto, Cancels Shojo Beat: The

powerhouse of the manga industry showed some signs of slowing down this month. They’ve decided to can their girl’s manga anthology (which admittedly never has made near the amount of sales as Shonen Jump) to focus resources in other portions of their business. Naruto has still been dominating the New York Times Graphics Books list, so the manga giant is far from hurting.

Archaia Studios Press Back In Business: Nearly a year after the company

went down for internal restructuring and acquisition by Kunoichi, Archaia Studios Press is back in business as Archaia, and is ready to make a splash in the comics market again. Most famous for Mouse Guard, the company is set to start releasing hard cover editions of some of its ongoing books as well as continue production of some of the lines that it closed shop with last year.

PS2 Out-sells PS3, Gamers Prepare For Infamous: Wii and DS hold

the top spots in console sales in May, and PS2 manages to outsell the PS3 due to recent price cuts that have come down from Sony. Poor sales for the $400 console have reinvigorated discussion of a rumored $100 price cut to the Sony console that will be announced at E3 this year. Gamers on the PS3 also have the much hyped Infamous to look forward to; the game has seen remarkable press in the past year, with prerelease reviews rating it extremely highly. Sales of the console will undoubtably climb as this new software hits stores later in May.

Punch Out!! Reboots Old NES Franchise: Nintendo fans rejoiced as

Punch Out!! was released earlier last month. It uses similar controls as the original NES game, without Mike Tyson, and with many of the same fighters from the original series. The game has been criticized for a lack of new material, but has been praised as fun and adicting as its previous incarnations. In scarey news for GameStop and similar video game resale shops, Wal-mart has announced plans to venture into the business. Wal-mart plans to also offer extremely low rates for video game and dvd rentals in this system, once again proving that the current companies that the consumers presently deal with have their rates too high. If that was not the case, Wal-mart would not be sniffing around, getting ready to kill your business. DUELS.COM® HOSTS 200,000,000th Battle, Shatters Records and Crowns New World Champion:[**info at work, to be filled in Monday morning**]

Wal-mart

to get into

Used Video Game

market:

companies publishing anime. It recently announced the acquisition of the Spice and Wolf anime (the manga and novel will be published by Yen Press), as well as the newest iteration of Evangelion; a movie titled “You Are (Not) Alone”which features much of the same storyline of the original anime series, with updated visuals. “You Can (Not) Advance” is the title for the second one, with a 3rd and 4th one finishing off the series— again. Release for both properties will come later this calendar year.

Magic:

the

Gathering Boasts 138,500 Active DCI Players: The

DCI announced in early May that it had reached an alltime high in active DCI players, using its Wizards Play Network initiative. Active players are defined as any player registering for a DCI sanctioned event in the past 12 months. Numbers have continued to rise through the release of Alara Reborn, which we featured in last month’s edition. Magic 2010 has its release coming in mid July, so player counts are expected to continue to rise.

Upper Deck Previews Loot Cards

for

who play the popular MMO will be able from codes printed on WOW TCG cards June 30th. Loot includes an Ogre pinata which leaves flowers behind you when you

FUNimation Acquires Spice

and

Fields

Honor: Gamers

to get fun buffs and items that is due to be released filled with candy, an item walk, and a chicken mount.

Wolf & New Evangelion :

FUNimation isn’t fooling around as one of the largest, and most innovative

In volume 1 of Pluto, we are introduced to the robot Gesicht. One of the world’s seven most powerful robots, he is a detective for Europol who uses his skills as an investigator and powerful robot tools to solve mysteries. Nothing is a greater mystery then when powerful robots and people involved in robot ethics and rights begin to be murdered. What’s worse is that Gesicht himself is a target of this violence.

Alex Hoffman Comics / Mangas

A Look at Pluto

In this switch of main characters, Urasawa has already colored a different picture for readers; instead of the black and white picture of morality that Astro Boy is so known for, he allows readers to look through the eyes of the detective and see the shades of grey spread throughout a newly woven landscape.

The Astro Boy Remake

nlike many forms of literature, comic books are some of the few that have consistently been able to transpire through customs and languages to make their way into readers loving arms. Astro Boy is one of these comics. Originally written by the godfather of manga, Osamu Tezuka, in 1952 as Tetsuwan Atomu or ‘Mighty Atom’, it focused on a powerful robot boy named Mighty Atom, who fights evil-doers and saves lives. As a robot in a world of humans, he protects them, fights for justice, and is the ambassador of peace for the entire world. In the 60s, NBC brought the animated version of Tetsuwan Atomu to the USA under the name of ‘Astro Boy’. What has followed has been a cultural phenomenon. The Japanese version of the comic spawned the anime industry in Japan, and many of the most well written manga artists grew up reading Tezuka’s manga about a plucky little robot with a heart of gold. Fast forward to 2004. Naoki Urasawa, the wunderkind of the current manga universe, decides to team up with Osamu Tezuka’s son, Macoto Tezuka, in order to write a brand new Astroboy story. Based on ‘The Greatest Robot on Earth’ storyline from the original Astroboy, Urasawa has rewritten the cartoony, Disney-esque world of Tezuka’s Astroboy and turned it into a beautiful, heartwrenching thriller called Pluto. Pluto is a manga about reinvention. Like Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns or Alan Moore’s Watchmen or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, it takes familiar faces, familiar ideas, and converts them into something different and extraordinary. In the 50s, Tezuka created a story that was rife with robot vs. robot battles, where the villain and namesake of Urasawa’s rendition, Pluto, destroys the world’s most powerful robots in an attempt to become “the king of robots”. Urasawa has changed this robot battle-fest into a pathos driven mystery/thriller that asks some serious questions about the role of robots in human society.

In the first volume, we meet a host of old Tezuka characters. Along with Gesicht, we meet Atom (Astro Boy), Brando (a fighter from Turkey), and see the untimely death of two of the world’s most powerful robots, Mont Blanc, the nature loving Swiss forestry master, and North-2, a Scottish robot solely built to destroy other robots who now merely wants to learn to play a piano. In the second volume, we see Urasawa expand on the premise of the story a bit, and give background details that are crucial to both ‘The Greatest Robot on Earth’ storyline and the story that Urasawa has created. All of this leads to a explosive third volume where the final of the seven robots is revealed, and Pluto himself, the antagonist of the comic, makes his grand entrance. Urasawa does what he does best throughout these books. While the story is a provocative and interesting take on Tezuka’s work, the real mastery of Urasawa’s recreation is in the characters. In a singular vision, he creates characters with complex backgrounds and feelings, robots that have nightmares and dream of better lives. They struggle with the meaning of their existence, just like humans; they think and cry like humans. The very format of the new Astro Boy leaves us with many common questions. Questions about what makes a person human and what we should do to protect the rights of others. It is not out of the question to call Pluto a masterpiece. It has the strength of old convictions and new intelligent discourse to give it a character all of its own, and it is a must read for comic fans everywhere.

refuge is lost. Both the elves and the Dourhands had suffered massive losses and were left without their leader.

Brian Ross RPGs

3016 Third Age of the Sun, The Refuge of Edhelion Some six hundred years after the fall of Edhelion, fate has brought myself and Elrond back to the ruins of Edhelion. The once beautiful elven villa still bears the scars of the battle. Other elves have gathered as well, drawn by an unknown power. Called to answer the dark portents that seemed to ripple through the land. Elrond’s charged me to seek out Dorongúr Whitethorn’s council and then assist Elladan at the Silver Deep Mines in hopes of locating the evil that was gathering.

Review: Lord of the Rings Online 2400 Third Age of the Sun, The Refuge of Edhelion

After dwelling briefly on the past with Whitehorn, I made my way down to Elladan at the entrance to the dwarven mines. The elf still sweaty from battle discovered a group of goblins roaming in the Blue Mountains and set upon them. Having driven them into the Silver Deep Mines, he asked me to hunt down the few survivors whilst he kept watch over the exit. As I explored the abandoned mine I found the goblins scattered about amongst rat-like cave claws that made this dark place home. At the heart of the mine I give pause as my eyes focused on a creature so massive it could only be a troll. Fighting the urge to take flight, I noticed a beam of sunlight protruding the thick rock walls of the mine focused on the troll. It was no menace, as years ago it had been forever encased in stone, locked and ready to crush an unknown foe beneath its massive fists. A blow that would never land.

ojourning from my woodland home, fate happens that I, Pecan the Elven Lore-Master, would arrive the Refuge of Edhelion on this most foul of days. A normally peaceful mountain dwelling, the evil Dourhand Dwarfs have arrived at the gates of our villa with murder in their eyes, lusting after the ancient relics within our walls. The Dourhands, normally the weakest and laziest of the dwarfs in the Blue Mountains, are blistering with blood-lust. Even more distressing are goblins and a large snow troll amongst their ranks. For those fel-creatures to work with dwarven-kind is an unheard of abomination that we had not thought their leader, Skorgrím, capable of doing. At the command of our leader, Talagan Silvertongue, I hid all the relics I could gather deep in the halls and set forth to defend the elves that lay outside the courtyard. Through the swift blows of my staff and the burning embers of fire, I fought my way through goblins, all the while fleeing the inevitable path of the troll. All around me, my brethren were falling as I began to slowly losing hope of survival. As I reached a band of survivors, our very spirits soared as a brazen horn blast lit up the air. Elrond has arrived with a cadre of elves to help push back the assault. Working our way back towards the courtyard, I witnessed Elrond slaying the massive snow troll with a single incantation.

The troll was not the most shocking thing I discovered in those mines though. Inspection of the goblin’s corpses revealed that they were carrying dwarven-made swords. Showing this to Elladan, he shared my concern and bade me to find the dwarf Dwalin in Frenin’s Court just below the grand steps to Thorin’s Hall. Elladan assured me I could trust the Longbeard, who was one of the twelve dwarves present at the Quest of Erebor retaking the Lonely Mountain from Smaug and then defending Dale in the Battle of the Five Armies. Dwalin proved an ally sharing mutual distrust of the Dourhands that still lived amongst the Longbeards and wanted further investigation into their involvement with the goblins. After scouting out reports of goblins, Dwalin advised me to seek one of my own kind Elrohir, son of Elrond. What was to be a simple meeting turned into chaos as the Mirkstone Tunnels he was camped in proved to be riddled

Our band, alongside Elrond, fought to retake the courtyard, only to see Talagan and Skorgrím locked in battle over the entrance to the halls. Talagan refused passage to the Dourhand leader, holding the entrance despite the insurmountable foe before him. Before we could save him Talagan erupted powerful magicks from within himself destroying both Skorgrím and himself in the process. The relics were safe, but the

with goblins. Fighting my way deeper into the caverns I found Elrohir fresh from battle having slain thrice the number of goblins I had encountered. The elf-prince had all the proof Dwalin needed. Intercepted communications between the human necromancer Marrec and the Dourhands promising them the resurrection of their leader Skorgrím in return for fealty to Angmar, the Witch-King, Lord of the Nazgûl. Times were dark in-deed! Returning to Dwalin I set out with the dwarf to the Tomb of Skorgrím to stop the resurrection. Fighting through a seemingly endless amount of Dourhands we made our way towards the final resting spot of their long-dead leader. Our every footstep hastened by powerful magicks lighting up the darkness of the tomb. The battle strain evident on myself was even more apparent on the elderly dwarf, yet with a reserve of energy aided by a couple of quick rests we made our way up the stairs that lead to Skorgrím’s remains. As we climbed the steps, only defeat awaited. Marrec stood beside an undying Gaunt-Lord and the newly resurrected wight-lord Skorgrím. We were too late! The Gaunt-Lord quickly departed with his newly risen thrall Skorgrím to begin whatever dark events lie before them, leaving Marrec and a goblin chief to tend to us. The necromancer put up a fight, but my spells and Dwalin’s axe proved the stronger. The day was not all a defeat, as we had arrived just in time to save Elrohir who had been captured sometime after our meeting in Mirkstone. Freeing him, it became evident no one was safe, not even the elves,

war was upon us yet again.

3018 Third Age of the Sun, The Refuge of Duillond Two years later at the..............

ear god, it has only been an hour of my ten day trial into the Lord of the Rings Online (LOTRO) and it already seems like it could be hundred pages in a Tolkein book. I long avoided this game due to prejudices I admittedly hold against Tolkien-based games (I’ve been burned one too many times). Because of these prejudices I came in cold, wanting to hate on almost everything just because it wasn’t fully like other MMORPGs. I couldn’t stand all the Tolkien naming conventions, nor could I fathom why they had to go against numerous MMORPG conventions. However, as it would turn out that is LOTROs biggest asset, the ability to march to beat of its own drum. While LOTRO has all of the normal current-gen MMORPG concepts like tiered difficulties, instancing, travel option, grouping (fellowships), and guilds (kinships), it has soooo much more. What LOTRO has that almost every MMORPG fails to really capture is a story, one of the best known stories at that. Unlike World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy XI, the story is the star, not just a backdrop for random adventures. As you step foot into lands both faintly familiar (Ered Luin, North Downs) and fondly remembered (The Shire, The Barrow Downs, Moria), you encounter Tolkien’s masterpiece in a way never imagined before—second-hand. You may ask yourself what I mean by second-hand, but it becomes quite clear that you are merely following the

story of the fellowship, not participating in it. You get to meet Gandalf, not play as him. You don’t see the hobbits flee the Shire via the Old Forest, but instead experience it from a new point of view by aiding Strider in locating the path they took and then eliminating Saruman’s raven spies who had gained knowledge of Frodo’s journey and the fact that they had the One Ring. In this game, you aren’t a part of the fellowship of nine, but forever aiding them in ways unseen. Exploration is a key feature of LOTRO. You can discover quests, earn deeds, and drastically change how the world perceives you through your adventures. Whether you are following the main story or merely seeking to aid a farmer with a bandit problem, your efforts are rewarded and remembered. Characters greet you by the efforts you put into helping them, thanking you for rescuing their husband from goblins when you walk by them or whispering to a friend there goes Pecan, Spider-Foe. Everywhere you go is full of Middle-Earth subjects in need of something or deeds to accomplish. It is quite easy for anyone with the slightest inkling of imagination to get lost in the game. Want proof? I actually read the quests! The regions are laid out not by quest hubs or what might make sense travelwise, but by what is established by the maps drawn by Christopher Tolkien. Thus when you visit the Shire you don’t just go into one village and get quests then go into the woods to do them. You quest amongst the numerous boroughs of the Shire. You help hobbits collect crops, drive out wolves that have invaded farms, and repel spiders that have taken nest in the quarry at Scary. All the while, trying to keep order amongst all the busy-bodying and breakfasting that the hobbits get caught up in. It is not so much a MMORPG as it is an opportunity to get lost in Middle Earth. As such you really can get quite lost! Between all the questing and fighting, there is tons of fun to be had. Seasonal festivals, pie-eating contests, a hedge maze to explore are just some of the sillier aspects of the game. Crafting in the game is alive and well allowing you follow four different crafting paths amongst ten different professions. These include most of the staple things such as jewelry-making and weapon-smithing to more unique ones such as scholarly pursuits and simple farming. One of the coolest aspects of the crafting is the ability to make an exceptionally good piece of work and bestow a name upon it.

music-making. All characters have access to the lute, while some others can play clarinets and horns. Minstrels (the primary healer class) can wield any instrument from expected instruments like flutes and drums to more exotic such as bagpipes, harps, and wait for it...cowbell. It is not uncommon during prime hours to find a player free jamming on the lute in the middle of Bree or an entire band playing pre-recording songs. The novelty may wear off after awhile, but it is largely a cool thing that may end up a staple of MMORPGs if other games take note of how positive the effect can be on players. One aspect of MMORPGs that Tolkien’s universe didn’t quite allow was true PvP. The producers for creative reasons I assume, decided elves and dwarves fighting hobbits wasn’t quite up to the snuff of their world. Instead, they have created PvMP (Player vs. Monster Player) which allows level 40-60 player characters to go into the Ettenmoors area and fight level 60 monsters. Once anyone reaches level 10 they can create their own level 60 monster character. Through an alternate advancement concept called destiny points monsters gain ranks, new skills, and skins making them look more and more menacing. The Ettenmoors is laid out as a giant outpost controlled area where good faces off against evil for control of the zone, and ultimately the dungeon beneath it. All and all, my experience during the LOTRO 10-day trial was positive. I took my elf and leveled it up to level 20. I earned countless deeds and helped everyone I could on my way. My journey to catch up with the fellowship was unfulfilled, but well underway as I reached Weathertop seemingly days after they did. I learned how to fish, I terrorized the forces of good as a Spider Weaver, and I totally rocked out a lute solo of Freebird to a couple boos in the town of Bree. I guess most importantly, I signed up for three more months. My journey is not quite done.

Perhaps the most important thing in the game that doesn’t involve questing, exploring or killing are hobbies. While there is only one official hobby so far in fishing, there is also the unofficial and much more appealing hobby of

MMORPG Scorecard PvE: A+ PvP: B Crafting: BTravel: C

Housing: BGraphics: A Enjoyability: A+ Social Aspects: A+

Overall: A

Alex Hoffman

Zombie Powder vol.1

Comics / Mangas

Zombie Powder, vol. #1

Produced By:

Price:

Viz Media’s Shonen Jump

CAN: $10.99 US: $7.99

Written By:

Tite Kubo More Gratuitous Violence Please!

Illustrated By:

ite Kubo is more well known for his mega-hit, the 300-chapter spanning Bleach. Bleach is one of the top guys manga currently being printed in the USA, taking a backseat only to the blockbuster Viz hit Naruto.The popularity of Kubo’s work is a testament to the ability of manga to thrive in the US, and more importantly, to the ability of the author to write a good comic. There’s a reason Bleach is so successful. When you read Zombie Powder, it’s easy to see why. We start this book off with an introduction to two characters. The first is Gamma Akutabi, all-around bad ass and a hunter of the 12 Rings of the Dead. It’s said that when a person collects these 12 rings, he or she has the power to become immortal, or bring a person back to life. Gamma has his wallet stolen by the other introduced character, Elwood—a lowly gang member who is trying to save up money to fix his sister’s heart condition. Gamma figures out, and weasels a meal out of Elwood and his older sister, and finds out that Elwood has been pressed into the gang after they forced his family store to close. Things get hairy pretty quickly when Elwood’s boss finds out that Gamma is hanging out with him. A tragic turn of events forces Elwood to start traveling with Gamma. Soon afterward the two meet up with Gamma’s partner, C.T. Smith, a much more gentlemanly fellow than Gamma, and also, an unsurpassed marksman. Along the journey, we get to see Gamma and C.T. show off their skills. The fight scenes are quite impressive. Kubo has a real eye for dynamic fighting and “camera placement.” He conveys motion and tension with a style unlike other artists, and his distinct, no-holds bared style shows off his imaginative fight scenes in an almost breathtaking, if violent, way. Although Kubo does a good job of giving character backgrounds through dialog while the fights are rolling about the pages, the plot is stretched kind of thin. After getting through almost 200 pages of comic book, it feels

Tite Kubo

Rating:

OT for Older Teen Pages:

189

as though you’ve just been watching people fight the entire time, which might be good for some people, but I like a story behind all the violence. In this respect, Kubo doesn’t deliver quite as well as he does in Bleach. Things get kind of tense throughout the book, but Kubo breaks up tension by interspersing humorous scenes with bad guys running away or even Elwood stealing someone’s wallet, which gives the manga a real tongue-in-cheek feel despite the extraordinary amount of violence. This zany type humor gives the characters a lot of personality. Viz has done a similar type of printing as other novels before this, so I’m not going to belabor the point that the paper isn’t high quality and that I wish there could be some full color pages in the book, but they did keep the mangaka’s notes about characters in manga, interspersed between chapters instead of at the end of the book. I do like the price point, however. At $7.99 (USD), a whole $3 difference from other company offerings, you can get a lot more manga for your buck, which is really nice. Certainly, this manga isn’t a thinker’s kind of story. You aren’t going to get a deep plot, an intricate storyline, or subtle character exposition. You will get a lot of fighting though. Zombie Powder is definitely not going to make you think about much of anything, but, if you’re up for some gratuitous violence, some cheap thrills, and some amazing fight scenes, this manga is right up your alley.

Brian Ross General

A Very Special EoV Article Coming of Age Gone Wrong

while ago, Chris informed us writers that he wanted more personal articles. He loves top ten lists, reviews, and previews, but he really craved something else. Something that broke the monotony and chop of countless articles; something that added a little fluff. Well I decided to take him up on his challenge and present to you a “Very Special EOV Article”. That’s right kids, today we’re going to talk about suicide. Seppuku. Hara-kiri. Sati if you want to get more exotic and precise. Honestly, I can’t say I’m an expert on the subject. I’ve only capriciously thought about committing it, so I can’t even say I wrestled with the thought of it my entire life. I don’t have a psychiatry degree so I can’t even comment on the mental condition. I do, however, work nights taking 911 calls, so at least I talk to suicidal people oh...every time I freaking work. I’m not highly trained, but I am trained enough to relate to them and get them the help they need. A vast majority of the time I do this with all the compassion and enthusiasm I can muster, between fighting the urge to tell them they’re too chicken-shit to do it anyway and playing a game on Kongregate. The ones who really want to kill themselves are the drunks who go on month long binges and the guy who never calls at all. Day shift people are the ones who typically find the successful ones when their parents go to wake them up for school or the maid tries to clean their hotel room. Nothing like a fresh start to the day with a cold stiff one. Some people would shy me away from talking about suicide. Claiming it is dangerous or too heavy of a subject to tackle. I’d say it is dangerous not to talk about it. Suicide has become prevalent and meaningless in our society. People kill themselves slowly with cigarettes and alcohol everyday. They leave cryptic notes with inane reasons that only destroy the ones they leave behind. They think their loved ones will suffer less if they are gone. TRUST ME, I’ve taken

a phone call where a mother just saw found her sixteen year old son blue, lifeless, and hanging. Her screams did not sound eased at all. The worst part is that he did it because his high school crush dumped him. God, there is no dumber reason. Love isn’t stupid, but suicide over it is. Romeo was an douche and Juliet was a dumb whore. Star-crossed fucktards. I also find suicide tricky to talk about because I believe in some aspects of euthanasia. Terminal cancer patients are given enough morphine to ease the pain. By nature, the body conditions itself to the drug and more and more morphine is needed. Eventually so much morphine is administered that the lungs cease to be able to function. Compassionate doctors will even give higher doses earlier. Tell me that’s not euthanasia. It might take a little bit longer than hooking them up with some sodium thiopental, but there is no outcome other than death when they start down that line. At least sodium thiopental (or any other instantly fatal drugs) saves the patient and the family all the suffering and days of anguish. My favorite suicidal people are the ones who don’t say a word. They kiss their kids goodnight, act like a perfect gentleman to their wife, then go rent a hotel room. There they put themselves in the bathtub with a rope tied to the drain plug so the EMTs won’t even have to put their hands in the bloody water. Precisely, they slit their wrists (vertical not horizontal), making sure to not get a single drop on the floor so the maids won’t have to clean it up. Noon the next day the maids show up to turn down the room and find a neatly hung suit in the closet and a bloody beef soup in the bathtub. They might even find a note on the bed signed “I’m sorry, I’ll always love you.” So fucking tidy in their death that it’s beyond reproach - at least they went out without style before their entire life literally went down the drain. Of course all that thought and care is ridiculous and in no way eases the wake of hell they unleash. I’m sure any maid would rather clean a dirty room than find a corpse in the tub. Suicide isn’t polite, no matter how perfectly tidy you try to make it. Personally, I would choose to end it with carbon monoxide poisoning in an enclosed garage via running car while listening to U2’s The Joshua Tree. The Joshua Tree should be an integral part to any suicide plan, females with selfesteem issues can alternately choose Christina Aguilera’s “I am Beautiful” on a loop. But you know what, I’m an asshole. In all my thought about making it painless, I just eliminated my status as an organ donor. There would be so much poison in my tissues that nothing would be salvageable. I might as well have shot little Make-A-Wish Johnny myself. I found out the other day my

parents actually have a Kevorkian kit with two vials of potassium chloride that my mother pocketed from her days as a nurse. At least they have a plan. You might think that I’m trying to talk people out of committing suicide, but you don’t know me that well. I could care less if a person kills them self. I’m simply ranting on how dumb it is to do so. By all means if you think you’re cleansing the gene pool, then I’m all for it, hell I endorse it. For the good of the species! I do love the scare approache people use; relaying horror stories of failed suicides. Life with ruined organs from overdoses, loss of speech from household chemical swallowing, paralysis from surviving a jump, and vegetable-for-life from improper gun shot wounds are just some of the staples. Guess what people, they are scare stories. You can even learn proper suicide techniques from them. If you’re going to shoot yourself aim up at your brain, not at the back of your mouth. If you’re going to jump off a building, make it a really high one and by all means be a man and go head first. Drugs and chemicals? Don’t pussy around with aspirin, Tylenol or Clorox, get yourself a bottle of Maker’s Mark and as many anti-depressants you can get your hands on and listen to some Coltrane as the night takes you. If you really want to kill yourself, you’ll find yourself very successful. My favorite story in my EMT training was about a guy who shot off his face with a shotgun. Neighbors heard the blast and sent paramedics. It is important to note that EMTs don’t respect your attempt to kill yourself, they see it as a challenge to make you fail and keep you alive. This guy had no face, just a bloody mesh of flesh where his face was and a pool of blood that used to be his mouth. Using the bubbles in his blood as a guideline, they managed to intubate his airway and sustain him enough for transport. When the guy finally woke up a couple of days later, he proceeded to rip out his tubes and jump out his hospital window. Guess what? He was only on the fourth floor. He lived and now had numerous broken bones. That doesn’t stop this dude though, he was the ‘Little Engine That Could’ of suicide. When he could finally breathe without a tube and move on his own volition, he swallowed everything in his room including rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, scissors, and several types of medications and disinfectants. Try, try again, the Little Engine succeeded on his third attempt to finally get over that hill. I’m saying all of this because I’ve been inundated with suicide recently. First it was Kutner killing himself on House M.D. (a pretty accurate portrayal of what actually happens mind you). Then I watched a god awfully depressing, yet haunting film called The Virgin Suicides, only to catch an indie film a week later, from Sundance, called Wristcutters: A Love Story. Of course M. Night

Shyamalan also had to jump in with The Happening which is an hour and a half ode to suicide. Yeah, way too much suicide, and this is coming from a guy who grew up during the heyday of Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy” and Kurt Kobain. So I figured it was time for a top ten list about films to watch that will make you want to kill yourself. That’s right, the ten most god awful depressing films I could come up with. And just so I don’t make the same mistake as Hard Harry, don’t kill yourself. It is not a good answer, no matter how simple it seems.

10. Mystic River

Mystic River won a pair of Oscars for Tim Robbins and Sean Penn in one of

the darkest American crime movies ever filmed. It starts off like many other films, showing an idle summer day filled with youth and mischief. The best of friends are soon parted when one of the three is abducted and pederasts have their way. The rest of the film deals with a tragic twist of events in which their three lives are intertwined. The film is a bummer from start to finish and left me feeling hollow inside. Despite being a particularly beautiful work, I can’t help but feel anything but contempt for how flawed and ultimately real the characters are portrayed. Want more proof that life just isn’t worth living past that pivotal childhood moment?

See Also: Stand By Me, Sleepers

9. Lost and Delirious

What top ten film list is complete without at least one film involving lesbians? Certainly not this one, Lost and Delirious features Piper Perabo playing the butch to Jessica Paré’s lipstick princess. Told from the point of view of a very young Mischa Barton, it is a tear jerker story of love found and lost. Perabo’s performance reeks of all the angst and hormonal imbalance that plagues youth during their formative years. Remarkably intelligent, but utterly lost to hormones. What starts out as a joyful woody invoking girl-on-girl romp soon turns into tragic nightmare as reality rears its ugly head. Want more proof that teenage angst can and will ruin the rest of your life?

See Also: Rebel Without a Cause, The Outsiders, Foxfire

8. Looking for Mr. Goodbar

6. Thirteen

Ah, Mr. Goodbar, a euphemism for the perfect lover (which so happens to be LL Cool J). This is the loving response of Hollywood to female empowerment during the sexual revolution. It depicts a perfectly nice teacher of deaf children going from good girl to brazen hussy as she gets into drugs and casual sex partners. The ending is haunting; the entire thing is depressing as you watch her life slowly fall apart. At least it is just a movie.....oh wait it is not. The thing about Mr. Goodbar is it is based on the true story of Roseann Quinn and if anything, the real details are much more horrific than the movie. This is the perfect film to show to your college age daughter and upsetting enough to make anyone hate all things human for at least a couple days. Want more proof that life is futile?

Phew! Finally a break from the real life crime genre, and it’s a refreshing one at that. Evan Rachel Wood plays the virginal goody goody Tracy, who is a rambunctious thirteen year old girl living at home with her mom (Holly Hunter) and older brother. Tracy eventually makes a new friend, Evie, who introduces her to new fun things to do. Together they make a fantastic duo as they shoplift across Melrose Avenue, take hard drugs, and attempt to seduce older men. It is everything a parent fears their child might be doing. Extremely real and never stretching, Thirteen leaves its viewer with that ultimate feeling of ‘WTF?!’ Want more proof that procreation is a very foolish thing to do?

See Also: Irréversible, House of Sand and Fog, The Dead Girl

7. The Girl Next Door

This is not the one featuring Emile Hirsch and Elisha Cuthbert. This is an entirely different film best explained as Stand By Me meets Hostel. A young boy, David, finds his first love in the new girl next door, Meg. Meg has moved in with her aunt after her parents died along with her crippled sister. Unfortunately for everyone, the Aunt turns out to be a total psychopath and hates girls. What starts as mean-spirited punishments soon turns into torture and sodomy as the Aunt binds Meg in the cellar and lets her boys rape her repeatedly as other neighborhood children watch. David, the entire time, struggles with calling the police and saving Meg. Sound over the top? It is. Strikingly though, this film is also based on real life. Much like Meg in the film Sylvia Likens is constantly tortured and sodomized by both the female adult, her children, and other neighborhood children. The real life crimes were in many cases more horrific, forcing Sylvia to do things like insert coke bottles into her vagina and making her carve the words “I’m a prostitute and proud of it!” into her stomach. And that’s just the tip of the ice berg. Holy shit! Want more proof that at least someone else’s parents were worse than yours?

See Also: Flowers in the Attic, The Quiet, Mommie Dearest

See Also: Bully, Kids, Better Luck Tomorrow, Mean Creek, Elephant

5. The Virgin Suicides

The film that inspired this list. The Virgin Suicides is a haunting film about five sisters (Kirsten Dunst, AJ Cook, et al), their overbearing mother (Kathleen Turner) and sponge of a father (James Woods). The girls have an aura around them that is only intensified when the youngest attempts to commit suicide. Their story is told by a group of boys that revere them from afar telling the story much like a Chorus from the Greek tragedies of old. By the end of the film the futility and senselessness of the the whole thing will surely overwhelm you. Personally, I’ll never hear the phrase “stone cold fox” without having chills run up my spine. Want more proof that sheer boredom is cause enough for snuffing yourself?

See Also: The Ice Storm, American Beauty, The Chumscrubber

4. Grave Of The Fireflies

As we approach the end of our list, things can only get darker and darker, so how is it that a cartoon comes in at number four? Well to answer that question, you’ll just have to watch it and answer the question—what exactly does the little boy carry around in his box? Often compared to Schindler’s List it has

1. Requiem for a Dream

been deemed one of the greatest anti-war films of all time. Want to see more situations that suck far worse than your own?

See Also: They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?, The Grapes of Wrath, Gummo, Roger & Me

3. Leaving Las Vegas

An alcoholic, Ben (Nicholas Cage), and a prostitute, Sera (Elisabeth Shue), live together in Las Vegas—sounds like fun right? For your consideration, I offer one of the bleakest movies ever, devoid of even the slightest glimmer of hope. There is no redemption, there is no solace, there is just the constant reassurance that Ben will eventually find the bottom of a bottle and Sera will watch powerless to even attempt stopping him. I talk to people who take this route all the time, it is a hateful road filled with nothing but misery. Want to see more alternate ways to really mess up your life?

See Also: Dancer in the Dark, The Deer Hunter, The United States of Leland

2. Lilja 4-ever

Sometimes a person isn’t at fault for their situation. Sometimes the pathetic life they lead has been forced on them by God, their parents, or something beyond control. These are people that make Job look like he got off light and Lilja is one of them. Abandoned by her mother, sixteen year old Lilja ends up on the street, all but pushed into child prostitution. Luckily a man named Andrei offers her salvation in Sweden where things can’t possibly get worse than they already are... Want more proof that other people’s lives probably suck more than your own?

See Also: The Elephant Man, Million Dollar Baby, American History X

Not all people find the American Dream. Trapped in a world of self-delusion and addiction, no one is safe as Ellen Burstyn, Jennifer Connelly, Jared Leto, and Marlon Wayons chase their own perfect life. Falling further and further into addiction and despair, you literally watch each character flush their life down the toilet one hit/pill at a time. Glimmers of hope are briefly shown only to be quickly snuffed out, making the descent darker than ever. This is a film so gut-wrenching I don’t think I could ever watch it again. Want to just really depress yourself into a state where even smiling seems a distant memory?

See Also: 21 Grams, Candy, Eraserhead, Umberto D.

* The Mist

Now for your consideration, the most depressing movie ending ever. Stephen King’s The Mist is by no means a thoroughly depressing movie, as it keeps you on the edge of your seat with a constant air of suspense. However, when you get to the end, the sheer exasperation of the situation that the main characters are in is earth shattering. I can’t say anything without ruining what is perhaps the darkest ending ever imagined. I can say that I left the movie theater last summer walking slow and utterly disenfranchised with being alive. Want to see other endings that will drop you off a cliff?

See Also: City of Angels, Ikiru, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,

Any film about dogs (Marley & Me, Old Yeller, Where the Red Fern Grows)

***** mere week after writing this the man with the superhero name, and supervillian tendencies, Bobby Biggs, took his own life by jumping off the tallest building he can find. Rest in peace, Bobby I know you were in a constant nose-dive, I always thought you’d be one of the ones to pull up though.

Alex Hoffman Cards

Battle Spirits TCG Review First Impressions

hile Bandai is more widely known for its video games and toys, it also has a strong following in both its Dragon Ball Z and Naruto trading card games. Both games, however, are based off an anime/manga series, which sets them apart from Battle Spirits—Battle Spirits has had both an anime and a manga made in order to promote it! Why would Bandai go to those extremes to promote this game? It is quite simple: Battle Spirits is a game that demands attention. Battle Spirits is what Bandai has been calling “the new generation of trading card games,” and the game was in development for over three years. It’s already a hit in Japan, and it makes its debut in the states on August 14. So what kind of game does three years of development create? It creates a game with immediate tension, showdowns, and a tactical combat step that goes far beyond that or a regular CCG. Let me explain.

What It Is

Battle Spirits is a game that focuses on utilizing “cores,” which also exist to represent your starting 5 life. You start with 4 cores, and each turn you get another one added to the total you can use each turn. Cards have various core costs (the amount of cores you have to spend to play the card) and the amount of cores you have to put onto a card (if it’s a spirit or nexus) to give it a starting level. Spirits are the main way to win the game, through attacking and blocking opposing attacks. Nexuses are like spirits, in that they have a level and abilities, but they can’t attack, and normally increase the power of your spirits in some way. Spells, the final card type of the game, are cards that can have more than one way to play them, and are placed in the card trash once used.

The game also supports balanced deck building by having cards already in play reduce the total cost of the next card you play. Some cards can have their costs completely removed, while others can be reduced by quite an extent. Combat starts immediately, giving the first player the edge on life totals immediately. Whatever happens the first turn definitely causes some second turn tension. You’d think this is crazy, but Battle Spirits has balanced the loss of life with a key gain; any life you lose turns into cores that you can spend on more cards, meaning the lower your life is, the more powerful you become. The key factor that determines your plan of attack is the dialectic tension between wanting to win and not wanting your opponent to destroy you with his now accumulated power due to your aggression. Combat is much more tactical and strategic than many popular CCGs—while the plays that you make each turn are rarely that difficult to figure out, combat can be quite thought intensive as you try to determine the best way to win the game. Battle Spirits has been designed with gamers in mind, because it offers a lot of features that many card players are looking for. The first and foremost of these features is that Battle Spirits is designed to be played quickly. These games are faster than other CCGs, which makes a difference in play, especially in long, high level tournaments. The game is also set up to take the hobby gamer into consideration for the opening of the game. Support for the game will be entirely at the hobby store level, and introducing the game to local customers and starting support for Battle Spirits is completely free and supported by Bandai, a move that is uncustomary, and welcome during this time of economic uncertainty.

The game is very flavorful, and fans of games like Yu-Gi-Oh! and Duel Masters will enjoy the similarity between those two games and Battle Spirits. It is not like many card games currently in production, and older audiences may be turned off by the flavor of the cards. However, with names like The Seven Shogun Desperado (which I think sounds pretty fricking sweet) or The Duke Kingtaurus (which is a bit hokey), the cards manage to capture a feel that is a direct descendant of the trading card games of the recent past. The game will roll out in August with a very impressive lineup of tournaments culminating in a World Championships in Tokyo sometime in December of 2009. Prize support is also high for the game. Bandai is holding no punches when it comes to the release of this game in the US.

How to Buy

Hobby retailers will be the only vendors of the game for all of the rest of 2009, which leads me to assume that mass market retailers will get their chance at the product in 2010; support for the FLGS (friendly local game store) will be appreciated, but it may make cards harder to find. Packs contain 8 cards, and will retail with a MRSP of $2.99. Decks are 40 cards with a 3-of limit, making the lower pack size and price equivalent to other packs of trading card games. The game will also be introduced with starter decks, although a price for the decks is still unannounced.

Why I Should Play (Pros)

Battle Spirits offers a quick, exciting, combat tactics oriented card game that awards good deck building and decision making. The game is quick, so it is easy to play in short periods of time. I can see decks of Battle Spirits hitting lunch room tables, passing time on bus rides, and making a scene when players have a spare moment. It is a relatively inexpensive game, and once released, will have an excellent tournament play and support system. Local game stores will be able to allow players to try the game for free at no cost to them, so picking up the game is easy and gives you an opportunity to play some quick games and have a good time.

Why Should I Play? (Cons)

Some players may be turned off by the flavor of the game, and others may like the distinctly easier non-combat situations that are often more prevalent than other card games.

Conclusions

After sitting down and playing the game for the better part of 100 matches, I can say that without reservation, I endorse this game. Its blisteringly fast combat makes things interesting, and games never get boring. Being able to sit down and play a game in 5-10 minutes is also a plus on a busy schedule, and getting through a tournament with this game should be a relatively easy and enjoyable process. I wasn’t a huge fan of some of the flavor and the art of the cards could be better. The cards are well designed and are generally aesthetically pleasing. Overall, it’s a solid game with room to grow, and I look forward to its release in August, and playing it at Origins this June.

Chris Newton

“When we read the hostile review by Ed Zitron, one thing became apparent: he had not played the game at all. Eurogamer readers and Darkfall players are posting bullet lists of factual errors in the story. The reviewer hadn’t even figured out the very basics of the game before he wrote about it. We checked the logs for the 2 accounts we gave Eurogamer and we found that one of them had around 3 minutes playtime, and the other had less than 2 hours spread out in 13 sessions. Most of these 2 hours were spent in the character creator since during almost every one of the logins the reviewer spent the time creating a new character. The rest of the time was apparently spent taking the low-res screenshots that accompanied the article. At no point did this reviewer spend more than a few minutes online at a time.”

Gamer’s Perspective

Journalist Integrity I

f you were not paying attention during the course of the month of May, the gaming world experienced a fairly entertaining scruff going on; although it most likely was not on the radar in terms of large scale items. Before I begin with the tale of the tape, let me offer my thanks to The Escapist Magazine and to the creator of RSS feeds as well for delivering the story to my inbox. Thanks fellas! Let me quickly run through the highlights of the story (get your popcorn ready…):

In an admittedly masterful, editorial blog, Eurogamer editor, Tom Bramwell, extinguished as much of the firestorm as possible by offering to have a ReReview conducted by respected game journalist Kieron Gillen: “I’ve already contacted another one of our PC writers, Kieron Gillen, who has agreed to review Darkfall. Kieron is a vastly experienced, award-winning journalist and one of the founding editors of Rock, Paper, Shotgun. I’ll publish his review as soon as it’s ready, and we will see whether he agrees with Ed or not.

“Sadly, every little thing Darkfall does is tragic, but without a personality that might make you feel sorry for its developers, Aventurine. From the grubby textures and grammatically incorrect quest text to the anarchic control system, any attempt to glean joy from this torrid husk of an entertainment product is met with disdain. It’s almost as if Darkfall doesn’t want you to play. But nevertheless, a job is a job, and play I must.”

It’s safe to say that we’ve learned some lessons from this episode, and they will be beneficial when it comes to future reviews. In the meantime, any and all discussion of the subject on the forums and comments threads is fine. Just as game developers have to deal with the response to their work, so too do we, and you’ve every right to criticise and debate it.”

—Ed Zitron, Eurogamer.com

Oh… those are fighting words, and that is exactly what happened. Ed Zitron of Eurogamer conducted a game review for Darkfall by Aventurine. The above quote was the opening to said review, and as you can probably imagine, fireworks ensued, only this time instead of being behind closed doors and in the privacy of a meeting room, the door was kicked open and the flames roared out.

— Darkfall associate producer Tasos Flambouras

— Eurogamer Editor, Tom Bramwell

Interesting… interesting... two more items and quotes before we get to my perspective on things:

Darkfall associate producer Tasos Flambouras felt compelled to take Eurogamer and Ed Zitro to task, holding them accountable for the harsh review in the Darkfall’s very own forums:

“While Eurogamer questions our credibility, we will not go so far as to insinuate that Eurogamer’s second attempt at a Darkfall review will only serve to confirm the first one. We will also not insinuate that the situation created by the first review will not affect the second

reviewer. We appreciate the gesture; however it seems bizarre to us that Eurogamer would pay someone to try to prove them wrong. This is about as strange as us paying someone to write a review of Darkfall for them. We also don’t believe that the 9 hours of MMORPG playtime Eurogamer is satisfied with, is anywhere near enough to review a MMORPG game of this size. It’s not even enough to get first impressions and these say very little about the game experience. Most gaming sites understand this and they’re using actual Darkfall players logging 100s of hours before they review our game. We believe that this is the only way to go in writing a complete review of an MMORPG like Darkfall.” ~ Darkfall associate producer Tasos Flambouras

This was Darkfall’s response to Bramwell’s blog, lovingly saying, “We don’t need a Re-Review, we need a Review.” A day later, Darkfall chimed in again with the following: “So if it’s all the same to Eurogamer we’ll just take it on the chin and stick with the original review. We don’t need their concessions. If they can live with this, so can we. 2/10 from the likes of Ed Zitron is going to be a badge of honor for us. They can keep that fraud up as our memorial contribution to journalistic integrity and to independent games everywhere. At the very least they may think twice before they try doing this to someone else. We hope these can be our final thoughts on this topic.”

— Darkfall associate producer Tasos Flambouras

I certainly hope not. This should be the norm. Whoever said that journalists or reviewers should not be held accountable for their actions or in this case their harsh words. Yes, it is true enough that it is much more entertaining to read someone slam a company or game. Who doesn’t want to sit in horrifying suspense, waiting for the next tongue lashing that makes us giggle? That is good entertainment, but the bottomline is that these people do not take into consideration that those games are not created overnight. There are countless hours of planning and prep that go into every game. You are essentially shitting on those people. They believe in the game. They have spent their personal time on the game. They most likely spent years of their life in school learning to be able to make that game. All of that being said, the best you can do is…

— Ed Zitron, Eurogamer.com

Somewhere along the lines, the manner in which people deal with each other became so blurred that it has become very sickening to me. I don’t want this article to become a slamfest on the participants of the duel that I outlined. I have my opinion on the entire thing, and maybe one day I will go into that, but my main problem with all of this is that there is a definite lack of empathy and respect in the gaming world. This is a perfect example of this phenomena. It is all about Ed Zitro in the review. The review is not intended to talk about the game. It is not intended to promote the company, nor is it about establishing his publishers credibility. It is plainly the ‘ME’ factor. What is best for me? Not what is best for my company, my readers, my contacts, my credibility... It really bothers me that I am noticing, and this is more often than not, that I am in the minority! Thank God I have not had to deal with this sort of thing in my own publication yet, but eventually I am sure it will arise. At that point I too will be like Tom Bramwell, who tried his best to defend his writer (right or wrong), retain his publications credibility, retain his advertising sponsors, holding onto his contacts and not looking like a wuss to his readers all at the same time. I feel for you Tom. Juggling all of those things is tough enough while you are standing still, let alone chasing firestorms and covering other peoples asses at the same time.

Monsters Drawn & Written by Mario Vrandecic

10. You still believe luck has something to do with it.

Ben Halpren Guest Writer

11. You lost your last game due to mana screw.

Cards

12. You refuse to travel more than 20 miles for a tournament. 13. You got a game loss for improper deck registration.

How To Find Out If You Are a Scrub E

14. You have pointed out to your opponent that you have more than 100 life. 15. You have once said the phrase “What’s a stack?” 16. You have targeted yourself with an Esper Charm.

veryone can point out a scrub. But how do you know that everyone doesn’t think that you are a scrub? Well, we have come up with a way to find out. With these simple statements, you will finally be able to tell if you’re the scrub everyone is talking about. Please answer the next statements truthfully, as the results will be given to you at the end.

17. One of your best decks is a pre-con. 18. You play with Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker. 19. You are a big fan of EDH (Elder Dragon Highlander).

Answer Yes or No

20. You are excited about Planechase. 21. You carry around a Crown Royal bag full of beads and dice.

1. You only have one trade binder.

22. Everyone still calls you by your first name.

2. The only time you sat at table one was in the first round of the

23. You play on a play mat.

tournament.

24. Your sleeves weren’t made in Japan.

3. You always play the last two rounds of a tournament, regardless of

25. You think that sealed deck is something that you buy.

your chances of making top 8. 4. Your life doesn’t revolve around abbreviations such as PT, GP, GPT, PTQ, MWS and FNM. 5. You have stayed in your own hotel room. 6. You think that Research and Development doesn’t know what their

If you answered Yes to 0-5: you are pro, and know it. If you answered Yes to 6-11: you are not a scrub, but not a pro either. If you answered Yes to 12-18: Sorry to say it but, You’re a scrub. If you answered Yes to 19-25: Why are you playing this game again?

doing.

So, let us analyze the results.

7. You don’t believe in net decking, as it’s not original.

If you’re in the 0-5 range, You are most likely one of the best players at your store. You go to just about every PTQ in the area as well as traveled to many Grand Prix’s; maybe even played in a Pro Tour or two. If that’s the case good job and keep up the good work.

8. You open packs without the intent of beating an opponent. 9. Your favorite card has a power and toughness.

If you’re in the 6-11 range, you make the top 8 regularly and think that your better than everyone else at your store. You don’t like to draft for money because you don’t want to embarrass anyone with your amazing skills. You travel to PTQ’s, though haven’t made any top 8’s, but that’s just because you got mana screwed two rounds in a row and not because of your play skill. You usually travel with a posse that thinks you are amazing, just so you can boost your ego. If you’re in the 12-18 range. You have never made a top 8 at your local FNM, and if you did, it’s because everyone was away at the GP in town and there were only seven people in the tournament. You enjoy chaos games and look forward to your Wednesday night group chaos game at your buddy’s house. You’re always looking to trade, but whoever you are trading with is never interested in what you have, and if they are, you usually say “Oh sorry... that’s not for trade.” Why is it in there then? If you’re in the 19-25 range. I’ve really got nothing for you. Maybe you just enjoy the artwork of the game, though you don’t understand fully how to play. You are most likely a collector more than a player. When you do play, you’ve never won a competitive match. You, along with the 12-18 group, look forward to the group chaos game, but everyone is coming to your house to play.

Scrubs...

Plug it!

heck out the internet’s newest Magic newest comedy site The MTG-Files. Be sure to get all your Pre-Sale Magic items from Soupy_George on Ebay!

7. Would you allow the government to heavily regulate addictive

Brian Ross

prescription drugs such as Oxycontin and Adderol in a manner that

Movies / TV Shows

would only allow you to get a single dose at a time from a pharmacy if it meant stopping abuse and secondary sales?

Strip Search

8. Would you be willing to fly naked if it ensured another airplane hijacking would never occur?

t is time to play a game! Answer the following questions as simply as honestly as you can. (Don’t over think them—yet) 1. Would you allow unrestricted access to your computer if it meant eliminating child pornography? 2. Would you allow a tracking chip put into your vehicle if it mean curbing automobile theft, carjackings, and hit and runs? 3. Would you allow the installation of a breathalyzer into your ignition system if it meant eradicating DWI’s? 4. Would you allow a chip to be installed into your vehicle that law enforcement could use to kill your engine if it meant never having another person dieing in a car chase? 5. Would you support the creation of a national ID number that tracked all your finances and acted as the primary means for monetary exchange, if it meant eliminating the drug trade and many blue collar crimes? 6. Would you support the legalization and nationalization of all illicit drugs if it meant a drastic reduction in crime and the end of the drug trade?

9. Would you support forced vaccinations of all children if it meant ending numerous fatal diseases? 10. Would you sacrifice a hundred innocents if it meant saving a

thousand?

While these are all gross hypotheticals, the general gist is the same: how many of your personal liberties are you willing to give up in the name of the general good? In 2004, Sidney Lumet (Network, 12 Angry Men) released a powerful film to little accord called Strip Search. Originally intended to be a 120 minute HBO series highlighting problems with the war on terror, it quickly became reduced to a 55 minute feature focusing on one particular aspect—the detaining of suspected terrorists. Much of its content was filmed and edited out, and little to nothing is known about its original form. HBO effectively abandoned the film entirely by giving it a one night premiere with little to no advertising before quickly removing it entirely from their schedule. The circumstances are unknown about why it was treated in this way, although speculation runs rampant. The movie was so well removed that celebrity nudity enthusiasts scoured to no avail for copies of it for years; hunting for an elusive full frontal scene by Maggie Gyllenhaal. The film had seemingly vanished until it briefly and quietly resurfaced on HBO OnDemand in 2006, and then again in 2009. I found it by chance in 2009 after having heard its reputation as a minor Holy Grail. Others apparently did too because the day after I discovered it, nude shots of Maggie finally hit the web. The movie begins much the same way this article began. A teacher in a classroom asks his students if they would give up all their personal liberties

to end terrorism. He stipulates varying degrees of time that seem insignificant at first, but quickly add up. An hour? Four hours? A day? A week? A year? Forever? Quickly Lumet moves into the central aspect of the story, two nearly identical scripts delivered very differently by two pairs of actors. In a brick basement, a Chinese officer (Ken Leung) interrogates an American student (Gyllenhaal). In a modern interrogation room, an American security specialist (Glenn Close) sets into an Arab student (Bruno Lastra). Leung dressed in an officer’s uniform seems eerily familiar, keeping you constantly teetering between dread and comfort. Close in a power suit is immediately cold and distant, her every word biting. Each interrogator’s performance is chilling, for vastly different ways. Many praise Close for her treatment, but I found infinite more curiosity in Leung’s ability to befriend his detainee then violate her without changing the pitch of his voice. The two scenes play out identically, moving back and forth between the American scene and the Chinese one. Sometimes the characters finished each other’s sentences moving the plot in tandem, and other times the same scene is replayed back to back. The dialogue seems very typical of what you might expect in the American-Arab interrogation, but seeing it translated directly to the American-Chinese one makes you question its legitimacy. The result is a stirring mix of emotion that can only be deemed as effective, making the viewer sympathize with both the American and the Arab detainee, which was the intended goal; to make you explore how you feel about these policies when you realize how much prejudice and profiling is really behind the motives no matter how altruistic they may seem. It is a liberal lesson in empathy. The film is powerful, albeit slightly naive. Any well-informed or cynical person will probably glean little from it, but for the average viewer, they might experience the same awakening that many gained from films such as Bowling for Columbine and An Inconvenient Truth. Regardless of how you politically view the film all four of the main actors had strong performances that really sell their roles and is worth seeing for that aspect alone. The mystery of this film, to me, is in where the rest of it is? The version I saw was 55 minutes long and featured female full frontal nudity. Others have seen 40 minute versions featuring limited to no nudity, and viewers in Europe and Canada have encountered 86 minute versions of the film featuring male and female full frontal nudity. None report seeing Ellen Barkin, Oliver Platt or Rashida Jones whose scenes were deleted. None report seeing anything beyond

the two parallel interrogations or anything close to the initially declared 120 minute run-time. A worker on the film mentioned filming in a school gym, revolving around a bomb threat, which no one has seen any of. I’m sure that I’m not the only one out there that has found it ironic that a film called Strip Search has been stripped so bare. If you have seen any the movie and want to talk about it, or know anything about its production, drop me a line in the forum or send an email to bross@

eyeofthevortexonline.com

Classifieds to influence with your ad. Due to our article content being geared towards so many different types of games, it is only natural that your ad will be seen by more people than just your typical crowd.

ye of the Vortex is proud to announce our EoV Network

Below you will find a sample list of who would benefit from the Gamer Classifieds:

Collectible Card Game Stores RPG Stores Manga and Comic Stores Table Top and Miniatures Vendors Gaming Publishers Movie Stores Game Review Sites Community Blogs and other Social Networks

friendly advertisement plan that we lovingly call the Gamer Classifieds. Just like a classified ad that you would find in your local newspaper, these classifieds are designed to be a low cost and high traffic method of getting your message out to your community. In these classifieds, you can do pretty much anything you want to do, as long as you can do it in your purchased region, called a Box.

Who Can Advertise?

he better question is, who can’t advertise? Advertising is the only real way to continue to keep your product relevant and keep your customers patronage constant. If you don’t think this is true, then ask yourself one question… Why do McDonald’s and Wal-mart advertise on TV? If there were ever an example of a company that does not need to advertise, you can chose one of those two companies, yet you will always find their advertisements ready for your viewing pleasure at all times during your favorite shows. The key to advertising is to figure out who you are trying to get your message too, and where to find them. In the case of the gaming community, you can hope to rely on a medium that focuses on a certain genre such as Video Games or Table Top Games, however EoV offers you a very wide spectrum of people

What Can be Advertised?

on’t think that you can only advertise if you are trying to sell a product. There are many other things out there that you spend your money on that bring you less than what your small investment into a classified ad can provide. We have intentionally forced the price of the ad space itself to be very low in order to encourage everyone to join our advertising community and use this space as a place to offer product, services, and entertainment to our readership. We have broken down a general grouping of potential classifieds content for you to see that there is more than just trying to move product that can be advertised:

Eye of the Vortex • Gamer Classifieds

Classifieds General Advertising

We Are Looking…

fan sites, review sites, etc.). Gaming Sales • Your run in the mill vendor sites. Gaming Events • Events that would be of public interest (Large tournaments, online contests, conventions, etc.) Blogs • Sites that contain someone’s blog. If you are interested in getting your blog more traffic… people need to know about it. Social Networks • Have a need to have more people in your social network? (Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc.) Advertise yourself and get people to link up with you.

Public Notices Set Release • Have a new product line coming out and want to build up some

hype? This small investment can go a long way in helping that hype meter rise. Upcoming Events • Are you planning something big? Your fans need to know about it. Company Changes • If your company is changing something that may draw some interest from your fan base, what a better way to get everyone to know about it than a Public Notice.

Companies looking for help • It’s nice to advertise on your own website,

however, your potential talent pool is going to be limited to those who happen to see the notice. Looking for Work • The opposite of a company looking for workers, this is a way to let the industry know that you are a free agent and have talent! Hire me while you have the chance!!

When Are the Classifieds Published?

oV Gamer Classifieds are published monthly in Eye of the Vortex magazine. Guidelines for submission are found below.

Where Will the Classifieds Be Found?

lassified Boxes (CBs) will be located strategically through the magazine. Depending on the number of CBs, there may be an entire section of Classifieds or there may be a side bar found on an article which holds the CBs.

Web Sites • Web Sites regarding traditional gaming topics (game publishers,

Classifieds How Do I Get Involved?

Ad Submission Classified Box Rules

Classified Ad Cost Depending on your choice for method of payment, your cost may vary slightly.

Submission of your CB should be an image; • Image format can be .jpg, .bmp, .tff or .png (.png preferred) • Image size must be 1.75” h x 5” w — at least 300 ppi.

Check or Money Order: each additional box needed for the ad.

Mail to: CV Newton Publishing Limited c/o: Chris Newton 338-C Lakeview Ave. Sheffield Lake, Ohio 44054

All images will be a link to where you determine. If you want to use text only for your ad, please be aware that we will force the text to fit your box purchase, which could take away from your content’s quality (think smaller, narrow font.) An image, however, will look exactly how you want it too and can provide color.

Credit through Paypal $10.50 (USD) ($10.00 + $0.50 Paypal Fees) for your initial box purchase, add $7.50 (USD) ($18.00 w/ Paypal fee, etc.) for each additional box needed

In either an image or text only ad, your text font should be no larger than 14 pt.

for the ad.

Send to Paypal account: c.newton@eyeofthevortexonline.com

If you do not have an image and want one created, you can supply the information your image will contain and for an extra $5.00 (USD), we will create the image for you.

$10.00 (USD) for your initial box purchase, add $7.50 (USD) for

Classifieds These codes are for the promotion of events, both large and small. If you need to tell people about your event, let EoV help get the word out for you.

301 Conventions 302 Tournaments 303 Gatherings 400 Services

lassifieds will be sorted according to the coding classification selected for your ad. The following is the available list of codes for our Classifieds:

100 Vendor Notices These codes are for advertisement and promotional services involved with the sale of product. As our reader-base grows, so does the visibility of your advertisements. Our low rates make advertising in the Classifieds very cost efficient.

This code group is for getting the word out that you are looking for help or your services are available for hire.

101 Sales 102 Services 103 Notices 200 Publisher Notices These codes are reserved for publishers promoting new games, product lines, accessories, etc. This is the bread and butter of EoV, so we will be pushing for these codes to be utilized heavily. 201 Game Releases 202 Expansion Notices 203 New Product Lines 300 Event Notices

401 Help Wanted 402 Services Offered CV Newton Publishing Limited. ÂŠ 2009 CV Newton Publishing Limited

Classifieds Coding

Classifieds Ad Submission Guidelines hen submitting your Classified Ad, please be sure to include the following completed checklist in your email.

Company or Organization Name

ubmission date for each issue will be the last day of the previous month. For example, the deadline for Aprilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s issue would be March 31st.

Please be aware that Eye of the Vortex is released in the middle of each month. Our goal is to have the newest issue published by the beginning of the third week in each month. If your ad is in reference to time sensitive material, you need to plan accordingly so that your ad appropriately impacts our audience.

Contact Name Contact email Contact phone

In Closing

Classified Code

Image file location Form of payment Duration of advertisement (Number of Issues, when to publish your ad, etc.)

Amount of Payment (Number of Issues x Payment Amount)

s you can see, we have spent a lot of time trying to make it as easy and cost effective as possible to help get your message out to your audience. Please feel free to contact me with any question that you may have, and in the mean time, I will see you in the Classifieds. Chris Newton President, Editor-in-Chief CV Newton Publishing Limited Eye of the Vortex c.newton@eyeofthevortexonline.com Check us out on Facebook! Follow me on Twitter!

CV Newton Publishing Limited. ÂŠ 2009 CV Newton Publishing Limited

Classified Ad Deadline

Your Ad here! Cost effective means of

Are you a skilled writer? EoV is looking for talented writers to write articles for the website. Contact Chris for more details!

getting your brand in front of the eyes of fellow gamers.

Get EoV general updates on Twitter! Follow CNewton_EOV. www.twitter.com

If you have a lot to say, try three boxes for $25.00 (5.7”h x 5”w)

You can purchase additional boxes for only $7.50 USD each! (Division lines removed for larger ads.) This size is only $17.50! (3.75”h x 5”w) (1.75”h x 5”w

or less banner image)

You can purchase one of these boxes (1.75”h x 5”w ) for only $10.00 USD per issue.

Your Ad here! Cost effective means of

getting your brand in front of the eyes of fellow gamers.

You can purchase one of these boxes (1.75”h x 5”w ) for only $10.00 USD per issue. On our full page Classified Page, you can

maximize your ad space need with a five box purchase and get an entire column for

You can purchase one of these boxes (1.75”h x 5”w ) for only $10.00 USD per issue.

$40.00 (9.7”h x 5”w)

Your Ad here! Cost effective means of

getting your brand in front of the eyes of fellow gamers.

Your Ad here! Cost effective means of