The College Admissions Application Essay
About the Author: During her highly successful career which spans over 30 years, Doris Davis has worked in various educational settings including three Ivy League universities, two women’s colleges and a public university. Doris worked for ten years as the Associate Provost for Admissions and Enrollment at Cornell University (NY) and for eleven years as the Dean of Admissions at Barnard College of Columbia University (NY). In addition, she was an Assistant/ Associate Director of Admissions at Yale University (CT), Mills College (CA) and the University of Cincinnati (OH). Her career includes membership in the National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC), the College Board, and the Overseas Association for College Admission Counseling (OACAC). She has served on several NACAC and College Board committees, including the College Board SAT Committee. She served as a faculty member for the NACAC Summer Institute for Secondary School Counselors and the College Board Summer Institute for International Admissions. Most recently, she served as a member of the Board of Directors for The Common Application, including serving as President of the Board of Directors. For over 15 years, she served as a consultant to the U.S. Department of State’s Office of Overseas Schools travelling to sub-Saharan Africa each year to provide information to students on applying for admission to colleges and universities in the United States. She also served as a consultant to the admissions office at Seoul National University. She currently serves on the Board of Advisors for the Ameson Chinese Elite Program and the Board of Advisors for the Ameson American High School Program. Doris received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Wellesley College (MA) and a Master of Arts degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (NC). She also pursued Ph.D. studies in American History at the University of California at Berkeley (CA).
2 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Introduction The first step in understanding the role of the admissions application essay is to determine if the essay is a required or recommended part of the application. If the essay is required, then it is safe to assume that it will be read by a member of the admissions staff and that the essay will be a factor in determining the applicant’s admission to the college or university. If the essay is recommended, then it may or may not be read by a member of the admissions staff. There is a chance that the essay may only be read in “borderline” cases where the admissions staff is undecided about whether the applicant should be admitted, and the essay provides additional information that can influence the decision. Regardless of whether the essay is required or recommended, if a student submits an essay as a part of the application, the essay should represent the student’s very best writing and very best thinking.
What are colleges looking for? Simply stated, colleges are looking for applicants who write well and think deeply about an issue. College/university admissions staff are also looking for additional information that has not been gleaned from other parts of the application. This additional information may be tangible such as personal life experiences or intangible such as your thoughts and opinions on a particular issue.
How are essays used in the admissions selection process? If an essay is required as a part of the admissions application process, then you should assume that (a) it will be read and (b) it will be a factor in the admissions decision. There is a popular myth that admissions officers do not read essays. Also, many people believe that the more applications a college/university receives, the less likely the staff is to read essays. Believe me—this is not true! The essay is an important part of the selection process, especially at competitive colleges and universities where the majority of applicants are highly qualified for admission. When applicants are equally qualified in terms of their grades, standardized test results and extracurricular involvements, the essay is often the one item that distinguishes an applicant. The essay allows the student to 3 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
present his/her “personal voice” and to leave a memorable impression with the reader. Even if several applicants write about the same topic, each essay can be different and unique. The essay creates a personality for the applicant by showcasing an applicant’s unique characteristics. Think of the essay as the DNA of the overall application. It is the one part of the application that is uniquely linked to the applicant. Done well, the essay should impress the reader beyond any other item in the application. Will an outstanding essay help to get a mediocre applicant admitted? Unlikely. Will an outstanding essay help to get a strong, compelling applicant admitted? Absolutely.
4 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Writing Timeline: Allow at least 8 weeks to write, edit, rewrite, edit and finalize the essay. Mark the calendar with the earliest application deadline for a college/university to which the student is applying for admission (this could be the Early Action/Early Decision deadline), and then back up nine weeks. You want to allocate eight weeks for the writing process and then another week as cushion in case you fall behind schedule in any of the weekly tasks. Also, you do not want to complete your essay hours or days before it is due; you want to give yourself at least a week for one last round of edits and to make sure that if you mentioned the name of the college in the essay, that you are sending the right essay to that college. One of the most common mistakes that applicants make is that they include the name of a college in their essay, and then send the essay to the wrong college (ouch!). See the section on Insider Tips for other suggestions on what to do, and not to do.
Week 1 With regard to the application essay, students often ask: “What should I write about?’ My response: “What do you want to say?” The first, and perhaps most important, step is for applicants to decide what they want to say in their essay. Beyond grades, standardized test results, extracurricular activities and personal information, what else do you want the admissions staff to know about you? Devote the first week to thinking about what you want to say in your essay. Talk to teachers, parents, and friends and ask them for ideas as well. Once you decide what you want to say, this will become the message in your essay. By the end of the week you should have at least two messages that will become the central theme in the two essays that you will write. YES—you will write two essays. If you want to know now why you should write two essays, refer to the information in the section on week eight.
5 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Week 2 Review the application essay topics from the college/university. Decide which essay topics give you the best opportunity to deliver your message. This important second step allows you to build the topic around your message. In writing the application essay, remember that the message is more important than the topic. However, the message and the topic work together to build a compelling essay. Applicants will sometimes approach the process in reverse—they will first examine the essay topics and then pick one topic for their essay. Why is this wrong? Because it puts the first focus on the topic, and the first focus should not be what you are going to write about—the topic, but rather what you are going to say—your message. Often, when students choose a topic before they have determined their message, the essay is more descriptive and less reflective. Spend week two deciding which topic best supports your message. At the end of week two, you should have a topic for each message that you developed in week one.
Week 3 Select one message/topic and write the first draft of your essay. Devote at least an hour each day to writing the essay. Try to devote this time as early in the day as possible. If you do this, you will keep thinking about the essay throughout the day, and you can scribble notes as ideas come to mind. At the end of the week, give the draft to a person whom you have selected as your editor, and ask the person to review it during the upcoming week. The editor should be someone whose opinion you value as well as someone who can provide substantive comments with regard to content and style. Since it is likely that you will begin work on your essay over the summer, it may not be possible to have your counselor or teacher serve as your editor, but if a teacher or counselor is available, this is always the best first choice. If you know someone (a relative perhaps) who is a recent college graduate, you may want to ask that person to serve as your editor. 6 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Since a college grad will have likely taken one or more college courses that required rigorous writing, that person’s recent experience may be helpful. You should not limit your selection of an editor to someone who lives near you. With the speed and efficiency of electronic communication, it is not necessary that your editor live nearby.
Week 4 Write the first draft of the other essay. Again, devote at least an hour each day to writing the essay. Follow the same principles you established in writing the first essay. At the end of the week, give the draft to your editor and again ask the editor to review it during the upcoming week. Congratulations--you are half-way to completing your application essay!
Week 5 Review the edits provided on your first essay. Subsequent drafts should be easier to write. You should be able to develop 2-3 additional drafts during this week. At the end of this week, give the essay to your editor for review. Ask your editor to return it to you within 2-3 days.
Week 6 Review the edits provided on your second essay. Subsequent drafts should be easier to write. You should be able to develop 2-3 additional drafts during this week. At the end of this week, give the essay to your editor for review. Ask your editor to return it to you within 2-3 days.
7 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Week 7 Review the edits on both essays. Make additional revisions as necessary.
Week 8 At this point, you should be equally satisfied with both essays. However, you now want to give the essays to someone other than the editor, and ask that person to read them and let you know which essay makes a more compelling case with regard to the intended message. If you agree with this person’s selection, then you should make that essay the one that you use as your primary application essay. You should use the other essay as a supplemental essay if the college/ university gives you the opportunity to submit an additional writing sample. Even if the college/university does not prompt you to submit a supplemental essay, you should do so anyway. The ability to write a strong, persuasive essay is an important ingredient to college success; the more you can demonstrate to the college/ university that you have mastered this skill, the more compelling a case you are making for your admission.
8 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
What are the components of a good essay? There are several components to a good essay, however the three most important components are: 1. Answer the question. It is vitally important that you answer the question. If the essay asks you to compare yourself to a fruit, then write an essay that does just that. Do not write an essay in which you compare yourself to anything other than a fruit. Another way of saying this is that you should not take an essay that has been written for one purpose, and submit it for another purpose. While it is expected that the main Common Application essay can be submitted to multiple colleges, you should not use an essay that was written in response to a college specific question and use it to respond to another college specific essay question. It goes without saying that the main Common Application essay should respond to the specific topic/question that you have selected. 2. Write well. Colleges and universities are looking for applicants who write well. You do not have to write like a Pulitzer Prize winning author, but your essay should reflect the basic tenets of good writing. Make sure your editor reviews your essay for content and style. Essays should be grammatically correct and should follow the standard rules of English grammar and writing. If in doubt, consult a writing and grammar guidebook (do not make Wikipedia your sole source). Also make sure that the essay is well-organized, concise and generally conforms to the word-count limit. 3. Have something to say. Your essay should have a message; it should express your opinion about an issue or topic. Your essay should address the “why” in your message, not just the “what” in your message.
9 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Resources Here are three resources to consult as well as one resource to not consult: 1. Ask your English teacher or another teacher whose class had substantial writing assignments what he/she considers to be your strengths and weaknesses as a writer. You will want to highlight these strengths in your essay. For example, if your teacher cited you as a writer who can effectively create vivid images through your writing, then you may want to choose a message and topic that lends itself to the creation of images. On the other hand, if your teachers encouraged you to improve your grammar and organization, you will want to pay particular attention to these items in your essay. Be sure to share the teacher comments with the individual whom you select as your editor. 2. Your prior writing is a resource. If your editor isn’t already familiar with your writing, give him/her several essays that you have written. Ask your editor to identify your strengths and weaknesses, as well as suggestions on how to highlight the strengths and improve the weaknesses. 3. Read essays from well-known established writers; have your editor also read the essays. Discuss the writing style of the authors with your editor and identify elements that you may want to include in your writing. Note that you are not trying to copy the writing style of a particular author, but you are trying to identify effective writing techniques for your own writing. 4. DO NOT consult books that are a compilation of “winning essays” that got applicants admitted to colleges/universities. The titles are something like “50 essays that got students admitted to Ivy League schools”. There are several immediate problems in consulting these books: (1) the admissions process does not rest entirely on essays. While essays are a very important part of the overall application, an outstanding essay alone will not get a student admitted to a college or university. If you read an essay from one of these books and know 10 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
nothing about the applicant, you have no way of knowing what role the essay played in the ultimate decision. (2) Consulting these books inevitably leads to a mild or severe case of plagiarism. Since students are told that these essays led to admission for the applicant, students are tempted to write their own essays in the same vein as the “winning” essays. So much so that the applicant essays come very close, often too close, to actually being a duplicate of the “winning” essay. Admission officers are very familiar with these essay guide books; in fact, many of them have copies of the books in their offices (that are often sent to them compliments of the publishers), so it does not take much effort for an admissions officer to see if your essay was influenced by a “winning” essay. Needless to say, if your essay is a replica of a “winning” essay, you will most certainly be denied admission.
11 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Memorable Essays During my over quarter-century in admissions, I have read thousands of essays. Here are a few memorable essays (not always because they were good):
There was an essay that was hand written to look like the yellow brick road from The Wizard of Oz. The imagery was spot-on: the essay began in the center of the page and then continued in a circle outward, In order to read the essay, I had to keep turning the page in a circle. (This was over 15 years ago before most essays were submitted electronically). The student wrote about her “inner self” and that in order to get to know her you needed to begin with her core. Was the essay creative? YES. Was it effective? NO.
I vividly remember the essay that the student wrote backwards. In order to read the essay, I had to hold it in front of a mirror. I remember this case because it was past midnight as I was reading this essay. I had been reading applications all day, and was almost at the end of the pile. I was slightly perturbed that I had to go to a mirror to read the essay, but did so in order to give the student full consideration. As it turns out, the essay was about the student’s fear of going to the dentist. Writing the essay backwards had nothing to do with the topic; and, there was no message—just an essay written backwards about an applicant’s fear of going to the dentist. Was the essay creative? NO. Was it effective? NO.
12 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
The essay, “The Porcelain Goddess”, was one of the most memorable essays of the thousands I’ve read over the years. The essay was haunting in its presentation of a student’s battle with an eating disorder. The student never provided the more common name used for the porcelain goddess (and neither will I), but the description of her daily prayers at the feet of the porcelain goddess left an unforgettable image. Can you figure out what the porcelain goddess is? Was the essay creative? YES. Was it effective? ABSOLUTELY.
And then there are the essays that make me laugh just to think about them: there is the one essay where the student was writing about the Senate hearings that took place when Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was nominated. A woman by the name of Anita Hill had accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment and was asked to testify regarding the allegations. In the student’s essay about the incident, she referred to Anita Hill as Anita Baker. The essay was meant to be serious, but how could you not laugh when you know that Anita Baker is a contemporary jazz singer. Was the essay creative? NO. Was it effective? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
13 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Insider Tips More is not better. Generally, instructions are provided for the essay word-count. While the essay will not be rejected if the writer exceeds the word count, it is advisable to not significantly exceed the word count. One of the great challenges in writing an effective essay is to be concise. If you can make your point in ten words, why use twelve? If your essay greatly exceeds the word-count recommendation, do not assume that it is a better essay. However, the essay should not fall significantly below the recommended word-count. If you need ten words to successfully make your point, do not use three. If your essay falls significantly below the word count, it may be that you have not sufficiently developed your message or that you have picked a message for which you do not have sufficient opinions. The message is more important than the topic. As noted in week one of the writing time line, the message of the essay is more important than the topic. The student must first determine what he/she wants to say, and then select a topic that best supports the message. Be creative and a risk-taker with content, not with presentation. The essay is the applicant’s opportunity to bring the application to life. While it is generally recommended that the student not talk about an issue/topic that is already presented in the application (such as writing your essay about an extracurricular activity), it also is true that no themes are unacceptable. Select a message that is unique to you and your life experiences and write about it in a way that no one can. Be deliberate in your choice of words, be emphatic with your view/opinion and be unconventional. With regard to content, take the road less travelled and blaze a trail that few can follow. With regard to presentation however, the best rule is to use a standard presentation style. This often means a 12-pitch, standard font. The reader should not be distracted with an unconventional presentation style (i.e., do not make the reader have to hold your essay to a mirror in order to read it). Evoke an emotion; create an image; leave an impression. You want the reader to feel something 14 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
while reading the essay. You want the reader to be able to visualize your essay. Imagine how you feel when you read a really good book as you visualize the characters and the setting. Imagine how you feel when you have finished reading a good book; you get the feeling that you don’t want the book to end. You finish the last page and rather than closing the book, you linger at the last page, fondly remembering the entire book. Similarly, the person reading your essay should be affected by your essay even if it is about an issue that he/she is unfamiliar with or an issue about which he/she has a contrary opinion. Write for yourself; not for the reader. Students often make the mistake of writing an essay they think the reader wants to read. This approach is almost always fatal because the student has no idea who will read the essay. How could a student possibly know what the admissions staff at “X” university wants to read? Ultimately, the student should be satisfied with the message, topic and writing style. The least important part of the essay is the title. In fact, most essays do not need a title. If however, a student is determined that the essay should have a title, then it is important that the title be the last item written for the essay. Why? Because the title should reflect the essence of the entire essay, and it is not until the student has written the entire essay that a title can be created. However, one should always ask if adding a title strengthens the essay. Often, the essay question/ prompt is sufficient for a “title”. The most important part of the essay is the first sentence. Why? Because you want to capture the reader’s attention and create a sense of necessity. The reader should have an intense desire to read the essay, and the reader should be excited to read the essay. If your first sentence does not grab the reader’s attention, then the reader will likely read the essay with less enthusiasm and less desire.
15 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com
Make your words come to life. The essay should be powerfully written, but do not use words that are beyond your comfort zone. A reader can tell when you have relied too heavily on a thesaurus. Do not profess your undying love for the college/university. Beautifully written essays do not need to be institutionspecific. Often, students feel the need to end their essays with a sentence such as “….and that’s why I love “X” university” or “…”X” university is my dream school”. As I mentioned earlier, students often make the mistake of sending the essay to the wrong school. While admissions officers know that students are applying to more than one college (especially during the Regular Decision process), it is a sign of carelessness when students commit this error. Also, saying that a college/ university is your dream school does not increase the likelihood of admission.
Final Thoughts: With the writing, editing and rewriting of the essay, how will you know when you are finished? If it is any consolation, most students are not happy with their essays at the time of submission. Most applicants think they did a poor job of writing their essay. Why? Because the essay is one of the most personal parts of the application (the other being the interview), applicants rarely feel that they’ve done a good job. However, if you follow the suggestions in this guide, your essay will be infinitely better than it would have been without your reading this guide. Now…get writing!
16 1-87STUDYPOINT (1-877-883-9764 ) www.studypoint.com