HOW TO IMPROVE THE MENTAL HEALTH OF CPAS AND OTHERS HOW TO IMPROVE THE MENTAL HEALTH OF CPAS AND OTHERS

BY OWEN ASHTON, CPA

“IwishI would have received help years ago.” This was a comment from a friend of mine over lunch recently. We were discussing our commonality of living with chronic moderate depression and anxiety.

Mental health is a sensitive, delicate topic for many — although not so much for younger generations who seem to have more open, healthy attitudes about mental health conditions. Nevertheless, I hope you’ll read on.This is an important topic. Even if you are not impacted personally by mental illness, you most certainly are surrounded by coworkers, family members, and friends who are impacted by it and need your support.

My friend explained that up until recently, he never thought that he had a problem. He just had occasional bad days when he couldn’t get out of bed. Sometimes he wished that he wasn’t alive. Occasionally, he lashed out at family members — something, he said, he deeply regretted because it was inconsistent with his values.

Five or 10 years ago, his wife of many years said, “You should really see someone.” He thought, “How do I know I’ll meet with someone helpful? Will I be able to trust them? Will they understand me? Will they throw a formula at me?”

And then something else happened.

He received a questionnaire — from me — about his attitudes on mental health. I had sent out a survey to my Google contacts for a project related to my post-retirement part-time job. (See questionnaire on next page)

After reviewing the questionnaire, my friend telephoned me. Realizing that I was deeply involved in mental health advocacy, he asked if I might suggest a good counselor. He and the therapist clicked. The therapist helped “change the way [his] brain works” related to what he calls his “toxic perfectionism.” More recently, his wife and children say they have observed positive changes. And my friend says he feels better about himself. He has hope that he can continue to be more of the kind of person he yearns to be. Nowadays, he touches base with his therapist every three months.

My friend is a retired partner of a professional services firm. We’ve discussed how his profession has many of the same characteristics as ours: tight deadlines, long hours, and the need for exactness.

Knowing that I’ve played a small part in his getting to a better place gives me great satisfaction. In fact, it ties right into the mission I set for myself over a decade ago for my postretirement occupation of being a mental health advocate: “Encourage and help other professionals to get help for chronic, mental health conditions that they may not even be aware of.”

This passionate goal came from my own journey. For decades, beginning in my teen years, I lived unknowingly with chronic depression and anxiety. My wife – bless her –encouraged me to get help when I couldn’t see dysfunctional things in myself. I’m so grateful she did. My life is so much better now. I, too, regret that I didn’t get help sooner. Sometimes I ponder on the many opportunities lost because of the delay. I hurt for how I needlessly hurt others with irritability and unkind words in my previous unenlightened state.

I can confirm that from my discussions with many individuals, my friend’s concerns about getting the right kind of help are quite common. Finding a therapist who clicks can be daunting. My friend’s approach in asking me for suggestions worked for him. Here are other possible sources:

• A physician or other trusted medical provider

• Your health insurance provider (phone numbers typically on the back on your insurance card)

• National Alliance on Mental Illness Utah (NAMIUT.org, 801-323-9900)

• Huntsman Mental Health Institute (healthcare.utah. edu/hmhi/, 801-583-2500)

• Intermountain Healthcare Free Behavioral Health Navigation Service (833-442-2211)

• Trusted religious leaders

• Psychology Today website (psychologytoday.com)

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (findtreatment.samhsa.gov)

My friend was fortunate to really connect with the first therapist he visited. It took me three tries. I had pretty bad experiences with the first two. One expressed surprise that I — the son of a well-known community leader — ”had so many problems.” And, “Wow! Did she really just say that?” I thought.