of mountains

they say you will be grateful you will look back on this and be proud of yourself your resilience will move mountains

they say it builds character it is a testament give thanks and praise for it made you stronger

i ask, what am i preparing for what unholy event is coming that i might need this strength? your affirming words are not graceful

but foreboding

i do not wish to be warned about my future i do not wish to look forward to my peril i do not wish myself or others more pain

i wish for joy. for soft hands and smiling strangers i deserve the mountains you ask me to move move where? why? i do not wish for the anticipation of war, but of peace

i say, do not be proud of my trauma no more proud than i am, at least thank me for my existence, and promise me you too are working

so that no child has to bear the weight of the cross that they did not ask for nor bow to a god as suffocating as the tears he has allegedly bestowed

let children be children let adults be soft let me close my eyes and let me rest against my mountain