Student Perceptions of Sexual Assault Depend on Who is Involved

by David Terraso, MSW '22

We all think we know what sexual assault is, but do we? Sure, we can describe it, but can we spot it if it’s happening around us? Can we acknowledge when it's happening to us by someone we know, maybe even by someone we're in a relationship with? If we can’t recognize sexual assault when it’s front and center, how are we going to stop it when it starts? How can we help survivors heal?

In two studies this year, Adrienne Baldwin-White, assistant professor at the School of Social Work, found student perceptions of sexual assault depended a lot on the relationship of the people involved.

“A lot of students believed that if two people were in a relationship, even if they had non-consensual sex, it wasn’t sexual assault because of the relationship,” she said. “They could recognize when one partner was manipulating or coercing the other, but they didn’t think it was sexual assault, which begs the question, what is it then?”

To get a complete picture of students’ perceptions, Baldwin-White conducted two studies at a large university in the American southwest. One was qualitative, appearing in Social Work; the other was quantitative and published in Sexuality & Culture. In both, she found the students understood they are more likely to be assaulted by someone they know, but they’re still more afraid of being attacked by a stranger.

While more research will be needed to understand why this schism in recognition exists, Baldwin-White said she thinks a defense mechanism might explain it.

“You’re in college. You’re exploring relationships. You’re exploring friendships. If you’re afraid of the people you know, then you’re probably not likely to explore those relationships,” she said. This dissonance, she said, allows one to feel safe, even in situations where you may not necessarily be safe.”

Dr. Adrienne Baldwin-White speaks at the Innovation District Women’s Bootcamp at UGA in November, 2019. Photo by Peter Frey.

Recognition

“A person’s individual acknowledgment or realization that they’re a survivor of sexual assault is a journey, ” said Sally Kimel-Sheppard, LCSW, MSW ‘03, executive director of The Cottage, a sexual assault and children’s advocacy center in Athens, Georgia. “Everybody’s different as to where they’re at and which primary emotion they grab on to when they first come to us. It might be denial. It might be rage. It might be shock. There’s always a piece of guilt, self-blame, and shame involved.”

“Shame is a feeling that’s hard to fully grasp for anyone because we all feel it in our bodies differently. And so it almost feels like an embarrassment, or like you’ve done something wrong,” added Mary Dulong, LCSW, MSW ‘16, who oversees the group therapy sessions for survivors and their families at The Cottage. She references author and research professor Brenè Brown, PhD, LMSW, who describes it this way: guilt is “I made a mistake;” shame is “I am a mistake.”

Trauma can also be a factor, said Dulong. “We store trauma in our bodies differently.” This can also play a role in how the survivor negotiates the assault both during and afterward. In his book, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Bessel van der Kolk wrote “It’s hard enough to face the suffering that has been inflicted by others, but deep down many traumatized people are even more haunted by the shame they feel about what they did or did not do under the circumstances. They despise themselves for how terrified, dependent, excited, or enraged they felt.”

Both shame and trauma play a substantial role in how survivors come to terms with their assault or don’t.

Sally Kimel-Sheppard, LCSW, MSW ‘03 The Cottage Executive Director

Rebecca Pearson, Rachel Allen Media Services

Mary DuLong, LCSW, MSW ‘13 The Cottage Groups Coordinator and Therapist

Rebecca Pearson, Rachel Allen Media Services

Culture matters

“It’s hard to acknowledge trauma, period,” said Baldwin-White. “This is not a stranger pulling me into a dark alley. This is somebody I know and trust. They wouldn’t do this.” They also can feel it’s a reflection on them, she said. “‘I have really bad judgment,’ they think. ‘I can’t even recognize when someone that I know could hurt me.’”

In her studies, Baldwin-White found that people of color, especially women, were more likely than others to recognize sexual coercion when it occurs in a relationship, a finding consistent with previous studies.

She explains this perceptual difference as empathy in action. “If you are part of a marginalized and oppressed group, you can recognize how biases manifest.” Because students of color have experienced others’ problematic beliefs, they are more likely to recognize and try to combat these beliefs in themselves.

A person’s cultural training has such a strong influence that it can override conscious concerns or safety instincts.

“They know what consent looks like intellectually, but when it comes to how they act in relationships, there’s something keeping them from acting on what they know, and I think it pertains to racism and sexism,” said Baldwin-White. Cultural expectations about having sex, she said, such as when they should have sex, how often they should have sex, the beliefs that women should be compliant and that men should want and pursue sex all the time, can help to determine how students act and react in the moment. Other research has shown that when a woman of color is involved, people are less likely to intervene to stop a sexual assault, to perceive the victim as a victim, and have less empathy afterward.

These cultural expectations all have something in common: behind them lies the idea that sexual assault is sex. “It’s not,” said Baldwin-White. “It’s violence. It’s a violent act, a crime— and I think if we were to reframe it this way culturally, it might make it easier for us to talk about it.” And perhaps to recognize non-consensual sex as assault.

Changing the culture around assault

Adults develop their beliefs about social conduct as children—often unconsciously—when they observe how others react to various situations. The reactions serve as models for acceptable behavior, even when it results in trauma.

“This information on consent and body safety should be talked about in child care, in preschool,” said Dulong. “There’s a huge systemic problem with normalizing sexual violence.”

The Cottage provides children in elementary, middle, and high schools with information about healthy relationships, respect for oneself and others, consent, warning signs of abuse, emotions, and emotion regulation, but it’s not enough for people to get these values from school, Dulong said. They need to get them at home too, whether from parents, or someone else in the family or outside the family.

Social workers can play a significant role in this as well, said BaldwinWhite. In the article in Social Work, she wrote that social workers must be ready to help survivors accept, acknowledge, and cope with a range of emotions, including anger and denial, after understanding that their experience of non-consensual sex was an act of violence. Survivors may have difficulty finding social support if they know the perpetrator. Social workers can help them find and receive that support.

A center like The Cottage also can help survivors be part of a community that is caring, empathetic, and compassionate. Every person should be taught to understand the difference between consensual and non-consensual sex, between “yes” and “I’m not sure,” “I don’t think so,” or “no,” no matter the gender, sexual identity, racial, ethnic, or socioeconomic background.

“I’m proud of every survivor,” said Dulong. It would be a fitting tribute to every one of them if, when this research is replicated 10, 20 years in the future, the findings were completely different, if they showed that students understood sexual violence, no matter what the relationship between the parties was. It would be fitting if it were a rare, almost unheard of occurrence on a college campus.

References

Baldwin-White, A. (2020). College students and their knowledge and perceptions about sexual assault. Sexuality & Culture. https://doi. org/10.1007/s12119-020-09757-x

Baldwin-White, A., & Bazemore, B. (2020). The gray area of defining sexual assault: An exploratory study of college students’ perceptions. Social Work. 65(3), 257-265. https:// doi.org/10.1093/sw/swaa017