Issue 67 // February 2024 // Love and Wellness Issue
EDITORIAL
COVER
WRITERS/ARTISTS
Sydney Rose Executive Editor cooglife@thedailycougar.com
Cindy Rivas Alfaro Managing Editor of The Cougar me@thedailycougar.com
Dulce Garza Cindy Rivas Alfaro Atirikta Kumar Gauraangi Gupta Nancy Aneke Hama’el Salman Isha Merchant Len Duenas Oscar Herrera Maya Palavali Gwyneth Gravador
Table of Contents:
3 4 7 10 12 14 18 21
Letter From The Editor
First Date Spots on Campus
Galentine’s Day Activities
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Open Letter to Girlfriends The Importance of Aftercare The Perfect Match: A UH Coaches Love Story How To Keep The Spark In Long-term Relationships QUIZ: Which Romantic Flower Are You?
Letter From The Editor back cover, I have Cindy Rivas Alfaro to thank for their amazing work on capturing love in our first photo cover of the semester!
wellness, we here at Cooglife encourage you to take care of yourself and nuture those connections you have.
Hopefully you love each story, photo and graphic we have You can see more photos of the laid out here as much as I do. In case you do not know, my couple featured on the cover in I cannot thank my team of name is Sydney Rose and I am the story “The Perfect Match: A writers, photographers and Cooglife’s Executive Editor. UH Coaches Love Story.” graphic designers enough for all of the hard work they put Welcome to another issue of I also want to highlight into this. Cooglife! Every year, I look that I love this issue for not forward to the February issue of being afraid to address And I want to thank you all for Cooglife as the theme centers topics surrounding physcial taking the time to pick up the on Love and Wellness! relationships and sex. In years magazine and read through past, the theme was actually everything we put out. if you Every story centered around titled “Sex and Health” to match managed to get to the end of love, platonic relationships, one of our site categories, and this letter, I’ll thank you for that Valentine’s day and more is I will tell you, even with the too! truly so fun to read, write and new theme name, there are stil edit for me. The amount of fun stories featured here to help and love that goes into this the more phsycial aspects of Thanks for reading, issue is truly unmatched. love. Hello everyone!
I am particularly excited to show you this issue as it highlights all types of love, from your friends, to your partner.
As always, we have a wonderful quiz for you to take as well all the way in the back of the issue!
As for our amazing cover and
As this month pretty much becomes all about love and
Sydney Rose Executive Editor
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Story by: Dulce Garza Photo by: Oscar Herrera 4
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Coog Chemistry and Where to Find It First Date Spots On Campus
Setting out on a first
date can be equally as thrilling as it is nerve-wracking. When you’re surrounded by the vibrant energy of the beloved UH campus, the possibilities for memorable beginnings are endless! Whether you’re a student looking to impress that cute person from your lecture, or simply trying to hang out with a “close” friend (hard wink, nudge nudge), these five spots are perfect for kindling connections and fostering easy conversations.
Cullen Family Plaza Fountains Oasis for Two The Cullen Family Plaza Fountains, located just left of the Hoffman Hall and in front of the Cullen Performance Hall, serves as the perfect backdrop for a romantic rendezvous. Rather than simply sitting at the benches by the water, liven up your first date by planning a picnic by the fountains! Pack a basket with your date’s favorite snacks, a cozy blanket and perhaps (most definitely) a
bouquet arrangement of their favorite flowers. While sharing bites of your picnic fare, the flowing fountains will provide a soothing soundtrack to your budding chemistry!
MD Anderson Library Top Floor Literary Love Affair
Cullen Perform Hall Cultural Connections Inject some culture into your first date by attending a showcase at the Cullen Performance Hall! Play, concert or dance recital, the hall offers a diverse range of events that can be both entertaining and thought-provoking.
For bookworms and intellectuals, the M.D. Anderson Library offers an intimate yet academically stimulating setting. Venture to the top floor, where quiet corners and study nooks provide a cozy ambiance.
After the show, don’t be shy to discuss your thoughts and opinions. Who knows, you might find you’re more alike than you think!
This location is perfect for those who appreciate the joy of reading or studying together.
Student Center Game Room: Bowling Alley
Share your favorite books, explore the shelves for hidden gems or engage in deep conversations surrounded by the scent of literature. The library’s serene environment encourages thoughtful conversation, making it an ideal spot for a date that transcends the ordinary.
Strikes and Conversations For a more laid-back and interactive date, head to the Student Center Game Room, where the bowling alley awaits! Bowling provides the perfect mix of friendly competition and casual conversation, so enjoy some light-hearted banter as you aim for strikes and spares. Afterward, grab a bite to eat at the top-level food court inside the Student Center South! (And don’t forget to pay for your date’s meal!)
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Cougar Grounds Brewing Connections For an ever-classic and cozy first date, Cougar Grounds, our infamous campus
student-run coffee shop located within the Hilton Hotel on sight, is an absolute must. Grab a table by the window and sip on excellently brewed coffee made by our very own Cougaristas as you relax in
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the warm and comfortable setting, getting to know your date without the pressure of a formal dinner date. Share your favorite coffee blends or try something new. You can even take your drinks outside for a leisurely stroll around campus! Whether you choose the tranquil fountains, the intellectual haven of the library, the cultural richness of the performance hall, the playful competition of the game room or the cozy ambiance of the coffee shop, each spot provides a unique backdrop for cementing long-lasting memories. So, take the plunge— explore these captivating locations, and let UH be the canvas for your first-date masterpiece!
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Originating from the iconic 2000s sitcom Parks and Recreation, ‘Galentine’s Day’ has evolved into a celebration observed by women globally. Rather than focusing on romantic love like Valentine’s Day, the purpose of Galentine’s is to cherish the profound bonds of female friendships and to celebrate the essence of femininity. In recent years, the holiday has taken a turn and become even more elaborate because of the heavy influence of aesthetics with platforms like Pinterest and TikTok. Here are some fun activities you and your gals can plan for Galentine’s Day this year.
Charcuterie Board Night A charcuterie board night is the perfect party to host for big groups. The host can make a group chat or Evite where each guest can specify the type of board they plan to make. The possibilities are endless for what guests can bring. Some examples include a sushi board, taco board, smores, fruit or 8
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classic cheese and meat. This idea not only adds an element of creativity but also simplifies the hosting process as the host won’t need to provide all of the food and the boards themselves serve as a decorative element for the event.
Paint and Sip Unleash your inner artist with a paint-and-sip night with cocktails or mocktails and a paint station. All of the supplies can be found at Five Below or any dollar store. Decorating the area with fake vines and flowers from a party supply store can add an aesthetic touch to the setup. Elegant and inexpensive glassware options can be found on Amazon and there are many easy recipes on YouTube or TikTok for the drinks. A yummy mocktail idea: Fresh raspberries crushed into the cups, sliced apples, a splash of strawberry lemonade and fresh mint leaves for garnish.
High Tea Party
Dinner Date
A high tea party is the epitome of girliness. Serve light finger foods such as sandwiches, cocktail shrimp or bruschetta.
Getting ready with friends is one of the best parts about being a girl. Book a stylish dinner reservation at a cute spot and have a fun date with the girls. To keep the Galentine theme going, have a dress code of pink or red.
The tea station can be set up with various tea bags, sliced lemons, sugar cubes or edible flowers. Teacups can be found online or in vintage or thrift shops. The table can be decorated with lace tablecloths, fresh flowers and ribbons.
Houston is filled with a plethora of restaurant options; there’s a spot in Post Oak called ‘Bloom and Bee’ which has a girly ambiance that’s well suited for this special day.
This idea is more elaborate than Spa Day the others, however, it has a sophisticated and feminine flair Pamper yourselves to a spa for an extra memorable day. day with massages, facials and manicures. Enjoy quality time Movie Night together while indulging in self-care and relaxation. If spas Movie night is a classic form of are a splurge, setting one up at bonding with your besties. A home is equally enjoyable! 2000s rom-com, cozy blankets, face masks, baking and an array Homemade face mask recipes of delicious junk food are all can be found online and doing you’ll need. each others’ nails is always a great bonding experience! To make the movie night more Enhance the ambiance further Galentines-themed, order a by serving cucwumber water heart-shaped pizza or bake and and lighting candles to give an decorate a heart-shaped cake! authentic spa-like atmosphere.
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Story by: Atirikta Kumar Graphic by: Maya Palavali
Open Letter to Girlfriends
Dear Girlfriends, Growing up brings many changes and challenges to our lives. The biggest one is how our dynamic changes in our relationships. Our priorities shift as we get older and when we get into relationships, they feel all-consuming. Getting into a relationship can be exciting, a new person in your life, someone you want to spend all your time with. 10 COOGLIFE // February 2024
While there is nothing wrong with that, sometimes while being a girlfriend, many forget to be a friend. Priorities shift when people get into relationships, however, it’s mostly for girlfriends. In her memoir, “Everything I Know About Love,” Dolly Alderton writes about how she watches women in her life fit into their significant other’s life better than they do their own. “This means that when a woman my age falls in love with a man, the list of priorities goes from this: Family, Friends. To this: Family, Boyfriend, Boyfriend’s family, Boyfriend’s friends, Girlfriends of the boyfriend’s friends, Friends. Which means, on average, you go from seeing your friend every weekend to once every six weekends. She becomes a baton and you’re the one at the very end of the track,” Alderton wrote.
understandable that you want to spend all of your time with your significant other, but they just became a part of your life, don’t forget the friends that have been there for you all along. It is important to keep your friends around, especially during the early stages of a relationship. When you have rose-colored glasses on, it is hard to see your partner’s red flags. That behavior is almost always pointed out by your female friends. Keep them around, they are your support system. There needs to be a balance between being with your friends and significant other. Dropping your friends should not be so normalized. However, it is also important to communicate these concerns to your friend.
Talk to them and let them know how you are feeling. This is a story that every girl can Relationships change but relate to. communication is key to still maintaining them through the Every girl I know has a story changes. about how their friends dropped them after getting This letter is a combination of into relationships. If the all the texts unsent (and sent) relationship turns sour, then after canceled plans. they might walk back into your life like nothing ever happened. This does not come from a bitter place, there is no better There are only so many feeling than seeing your friend times that someone can take happy. But it is also okay to being treated that way. It is feel sad about the friend you
used to have and the loss of the relationship had. The patriarchal idea that women need to be in a relationship to feel complete, might also play a part in why this tends to happen. As a society, there is a lot of emphasis on being in a relationship for a “fulfilled life” which is not true at all. Female friendships are so special and it is equally as important to nurture them as you would a romantic relationship. Your female friends will be there for you after a bad day when all you want to do is eat ice cream or when you hypothetically ever want to commit a crime. So, hold on to them. Make an equal effort to reach out and follow through on the plans you have made with them. Be a good friend, not only a good girlfriend.
Sincerely, Your friend
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Sex is a deeply intimate act that requires so much more than just a physical connection. Whether it be just a hookup or a relationship it is very important to respect your partner and provide them a safe space leading up to, during and after sex. Aftercare can be seen as the unofficial “cool down” period after sex. Let’s get into it.
What is Aftercare? Think of aftercare as the “postmove” after sex. Typically after any period of sexual contact, you are left feeling very vulnerable. Sex itself is a deeply open act, leaving you completely open to your partner. Regardless of the type of sex you have, it is important to practice aftercare. “Aftercare is a way of showing kindness and caring to your partner,” according to Kimberly Atwood, a licensed counselor and
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a professional sex therapist. This is because sex releases a huge rush of hormones, feel-good chemicals and emotions. You don’t just want to crash, so aftercare plays a huge role in cooling down.
or more hardcore scenes, so aftercare can be used to bring their partners back to reality and readopt their day-to-day roles with one another and it’s a way of resetting your equilibrium.
For this article, I asked one of my past partners to describe what aftercare is to him. He described lying next to a partner and cuddling them. Touching them all over, playing with their hair and talking to them. The big part was talking to them about anything and everything while still flirting and complimenting them as well as telling them how much they mean.
However, not everyone practices BDSM within their sex life, so that raises the question of why practice aftercare to begin with?
How Can Aftercare Vary From Person To Person? Aftercare is typically associated with the kink scene. This is mainly because it is commonly used among those practicing BDSM within their sex life. Dr. Jenni Skyler, resident sexologist of Adam & Eve writes BDSM usually involves some form of role-play
A friend close to me mentioned how important the partners reassuring each other about feeling good with what they did together and hanging out was. Having hour-long gab sessions after a hookup can keep the mood fun. Making sure the other person gets home safe is part of it when it’s a hookup, that can mean a lot. My past partner also added, “For me, I feel very happy and safe and secure. I like aftercare because it shows that we’re not really using each other and we both genuinely care for each other.”
Some ways include showering together, stroking or playing with your partner’s hair and discussing the sex had just before. Other methods given were mutual clean-up and showing affection in more gentle ways like kissing and lying together. Others mentioned holding each other close, letting one’s heart rate cool down, drinking water and reassurance that it was a good time. It never hurts to have reassurance and something to eat.
How Should Partners Ask For Aftercare?
How Does Aftercare Benefit Sexual Experiences? Aftercare can allow people to feel comfortable and ease nerves after sex. Even if it’s just a hookup, it means a lot to the partners involved to just be held or spoken to. “I really like it because it’s another way to show care and love,” a past partner said. “It enhances the sex we’ve had because we can bask in our afterglow and just be happy together.” It’s important to show someone that you’re being intimate with you care about them beyond the sexual pleasure they give you. If you want your partner to have a good time you need to provide for them emotionally as well.
In any relationship, it is super important to speak up and advocate for yourself. It is especially important during sex because of how vulnerable it is.
A lot of women can be especially insecure about their partners or hookup partners only liking them for their body or the sex they have. Aftercare can help to dissuade that.
“Communicate! Just tell them directly what you want and how you want it,” my past partner said. “Set a time that you both agree to be done having sex so you can have enough time to have proper aftercare…don’t rush sex and don’t skimp on aftercare because it will negatively affect the experience.”
Overall, aftercare needs to become more normalized. It does nothing but bring positive energy to a sexual encounter no matter how big or small. It is more than just a kink and can be massively beneficial to any relationship.
The best way to ask is to be direct with your partner and ask to lay together for a bit instead of leaving immediately. Sometimes,
The Importance of Aftercare
Well, this varies from person to person. When I asked my friends to list out how they provide aftercare I received a variety of different actions.
Story by: Isha Merchant Graphic by: Gwyneth Gravador
What Are Some Ways To Provide Aftercare?
it is a given and does not have to be asked for if you are comfortable enough with your partner to initiate certain types of aftercare.
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The Perfect Match: A UH Coaches Love Story Story and all photos by: Cindy Rivas Alfaro 14 COOGLIFE // February 2024
As assistant volleyball coach Jill Loiars and assistant tennis coach Giorgia Pozzan bike their way to the University of Houston every morning, they never would have thought that they would be able to live such intertwined lives together as coaches.
McNeese State University after LaSalle University had cut the volleyball program Loiars was working in. In fact, Loiars and Pozzan met after Loiars’ head coach forced her to go to a happy hour with all the female coaches at the time.
leaves at a university, everyone else leaves, too. For once in her life, Loiars didn’t want to do what was best for her or her career. She wanted to stay with Pozzan.
“This is a situation where I was From then on, hangouts with all like, this is different, and I want “I think the coaching lifestyle the female coaches turned into to stay with her and I want to can be very hectic, very busy just the two of them showing just figure out how can we be and you know, consuming for up and ultimately, ending up together and prioritize us over someone’s mind,” Pozzan said. “I together. me just going to a different think to get some extra time for state for another job that’s us to ride together, be together, However, in December of 2021, mediocre,” Loiars said. see each other in the hallway… Loiars’ head coach ended up If you ask a lot of other spouses leaving to become a head of coaches, they probably coach at the University of North In the end, Loiars and Pozzan would kill to have that much Texas which meant Loiars had found themselves in a car on more time together.” to either follow her to Texas or their way to New York since find another job. Once the head Loiars was offered a position at coach Loiars and Pozzan met at
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“We talked about it for a long time. Because at least for a season or two or longer, we had to be apart and not just apart a couple of hours but a flight and then another flight (to see each other),” Pozzan said. Loiars’ ultimate goal was to be with Pozzan so the moment they decided Pozzan was going to Houston, Loiars’ was contacting volleyball clubs, high schools and colleges all around Houston for job openings. Pozzan even went ahead and introduced herself and her now-wife to UH’s volleyball team when she had the chance. In a moment of divine intervention or even faith, when Loiars visited Pozzan during spring break, she went ahead and met with UH’s head volleyball coach to talk about the volleyball culture at UAlbany and came out of that meeting with a future job prospect. the University at Albany while Pozzan decided on her next steps. It was on their drive up that Pozzan got a call from the University of Houston offering her a position as the assistant coach of the tennis program. 16 COOGLIFE // February 2024
“(He said) I know a lot of people do things for love, some dumb things for love,” Loiars said. Many people talk about the hectic lives of student-athletes, but no one takes a second to think about the coaches who train these award-winning athletes. Pozzan and Loiars are glad they found each other amidst the constant traveling and abnormal hours that come with being a college coach.
Pozzan proposed to Loiars back in June of 2022. Loiars proposed back, because she thought it was only fair, in October of 2022. The pair married on December 30, 2023. “What I like about Jill, one of my favorite things, is she definitely complements my personality in a way that helps me be better and helps me grow,” Pozzan said, “She’s someone that always sees the good in someone, always tries to help and even goes out of her way to help someone.”
“She’s so selective about who she lets into her life and who she wants to spend time with or how much time she likes to spend,” Loiars said. “But I know that she wants to sit and talk to me forever and wouldn’t mind
being with me just sitting and not even talking for the rest of our lives.” As Loiars and Pozzan bike home to their two cats, they’re glad their lives managed to get as intertwined as they are.
For Loiars, she loves how well they balance each other.
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In today’s world of hookup culture, if you’re still with your high-school sweetheart or have been dating for a few years now, then you should consider yourself to be lucky. There is a sense of security and trust between the two of you which is very relaxing. You know everything about each other and there are no surprises. They know your favorite dish and you know their favorite go-to movie. But sometimes this “known” feeling can get somewhat boring and make you question things. You might feel like you’re losing the spark in the relationship. Maybe when you kiss, you still feel the sky bursting and butterflies doing cartwheels in your stomach but, the overall spark is missing. 18 COOGLIFE // February 2024
Here are a few tips to keep you going and make the long-term relationship feel just like it did when it was brand new.
Communicate and Check In
I know this sounds typical and mundane but it is the key to a successful and happy relationship. Misunderstandings are bound to happen even in a longterm relationship if you fail to communicate well with each other. We are all busy in our lives
with a lot of different things. Different jobs, different college majors and different ideologies. It is okay to get caught up in work but communicating this well with your significant other is also equally important. All it takes is one text message or a phone call even for five minutes to inform them about your day, check up and let them know how much you love and appreciate them.
Do Not Assume or Cheat This is extremely important. Just because they are unable to spend time with you doesn’t
How To Keep The Spark In Long-term Relationships Story by: Gauraangi Gupta Graphic by: Len Duenas mean they found someone else. It speaks more about your mentality and expectations than theirs’. People have a lot going on in their lives and if you’ve been dating for a few years now, a basic expectation is understanding, not accusations. If you still end up cheating, it’s on you and not them. So don’t start the blame game. Instead of assuming and going for “tit for tat,” talk, ask and try listening. It’ll save both of you tons of bad memories.
Continue To Date
coffee or ice cream. Maybe visit the place where you had your very first date and reminisce about the old times. This will help you focus on each other and have some quality time without distractions. You can discuss your week and best of all, rant with your beloved about something you hated about the week!
Physical Intimacy
It is as important as communication. It promotes trust, love, emotional connection and overall wellbeing. It especially becomes more important if physical touch is your partner’s love language.
By this I mean to continue to date each other, not other people because otherwise that’s called cheating. Except if you both have some kind of system agreed upon, you know. Physical intimacy isn’t limited I wouldn’t personally but you to just having sex. do you. No judgment. It revolves around a lot of Keep time aside for each other various other things like for dates. Go out for dinner! If holding hands, cuddling while you’re short on time, go grab a watching a movie and hugging
each other for longer durations. Having physical contact with your partner makes them feel closer and gives you a feeling of warmth and safety.
Try New Activities
Try new things together! It could be a new cuisine or maybe an adventurous activity. You could explore a different city and plan out a mini holiday for the weekend! When you try new things together, you create a shared bond and memory. This helps you stay connected and create some really sweet memories. In addition to that, you’re with someone you trust immensely. So you know they will always understand you and respect boundaries.
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Independence
You want to check up on them and show that you care but you don’t want to act insecure and straight up like a stalker. So, give them independence. Let them enjoy some me-time and pursue their passions and hobbies. You want to be supportive, not annoying. It’s okay for people to want to have alone time. Understand and let them know you care.
Plan a surprise date for your beloved! Let’s be honest, you’ve been dating for quite some years now so the gesture doesn’t have to be a big one. It could be as simple as planning a picnic or staying at home and watching your favorite movies. It lets your partner know that you’re thinking of them. It will remind both of you why you started dating in the first place.
A relationship should feel effortless and not a burden. If you constantly keep asking for “updates,” it will surely frustrate them.
It will help you share some quality time with each other’s presence and help you figure out what is going wrong. Discuss, don’t fight.
Do not get angry when they won’t respond to your constant messaging.
Remember, it’s very easy to give up and break relationships rather than give in your all and maintain it.
They might be in a situation where messaging back is not possible and you getting upset and fighting over this will creep them out. You’re their partner, not a parent or Joe Goldberg from the show “You.”
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Plan Surprises!
They could be your “the one” so hold onto them and don’t let go. It’s very rare!
QUIZ : WHICH ROMANTIC FLOWER ARE YOU ? STORY BY: NANCY ANEKE
PHOTOS BY: OSCAR HERRERA TAKEN AT FANNIN FLOWERS COOGLIFE // February 2024
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Flowers are nature’s love language, not just our own. For ages, these exquisite gems have inspired us, reminding us to cherish the beauty of life and those we deeply love. Which flower best represents you? Take the quiz to find out!
What is your idea of the perfect date A. Dinner at a fancy restaurant B. Picnic at the park
How would others describe you A. A hopeless romantic B. A sweetheart C. A mama’s child D. A ray of sunshine
What is your favorite season
C. Movie night at home
A. Summer
D. Bowling with friends
B. Spring C. Winter D. Fall
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Which religious motif do you generally associate with Christianity A. Virgin Mary B. The Resurrection C. The Cross D. Faith
Answers If you got mostly As: You’re a Rose! You’re passionate about the things you care about and are willing to die for those you love. You’re traditional and classic in nature. You’re incredibly selfless, and people admire the lengths you’ll go to show how much you care. If you got mostly Bs: You’re a Lily! You’re bubbly and exude a child-like innocence. You have a vivacious outlook on life and an unmatched tenacity to push back from adversity. You’re always kind and polite to others, and everyone you meet is enthralled by your angelic presence. If you got mostly Cs: You’re a Carnation! You’re your mother’s child, and you’re extremely grateful for the life she’s given you. You cherish the important things in life and the people who make those precious moments so special. If you got mostly Ds: You’re a Chrysanthemum! You’re always looking on the bright side, and things rarely get you down. You’re the supportive friend who’s always there to lend a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. When life gets people down, you’re the one they look to to turn that frown around.
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