Hilltopics | University Honors Program | Volume 13 Issue 7 | April 2017
Letter from the Editor Feminism is an enigma to me. It comes in so many shapes and sizes that for the longest time I never knew if I was “doing it right.” See, when I was younger feminism was about watching chick flicks together, and as I came into college I seemed to associate girls’ nights with a bottle of wine and Princess Diaries, which is arguably one of the greatest movies/series for young girls. This version of feminism isn’t wrong per se, it’s good to have fun nights with a group of women where you’re sharing an experience, but as I’ve gone through college I’ve realized that for many women feminism seems to stop there. In fact, feminism can often feel like the new fad. In style this season are burgundy, off the shoulder tops, and casual feminism. We see it on clothing, on bumper stickers, in Instagram hashtags, but the important question is whether we see it in our everyday lives. I often see, and sometimes exhibit, discrepancies with feminism. It took me a long time to settle with the idea that I shouldn’t expect a guy to always pay for me. That if I truly thought we should be treated the same then I should at the very minimum offer to pay my share. It used to bug me that I wanted validation from other people when I was having doubts, as if I was only supposed to need my own validation and if I still needed more, then I was weak and not a strong, independent woman. It seems that all these misconceptions I held were part and parcel of a lack of honest and open discussion and discovery about what feminism is. I don’t think I really have a complete answer but I have come to understand that most often feminism can be flawed when it doesn’t take into account
1
different aspects of identity, which for me includes race. The chick flick nights are fine, but frustrating in the long-term when that becomes the face of feminism instead of fights over gender equality and breaking ideas that men always have to be stoic and strong and non-emotional, or that women’s purpose is solely to have children and be selfless caregivers. Representation always matters, but when I sit down to watch Princess Diaries or The Proposal, I’m always wondering where the brown girls are. The first of really about three movies that comes to my mind is Bend it Like Beckham, but I often feel as though that movie isn’t seen as much as a feminist movie as it is a cultural one. Whenever I used to watch it with friends who weren’t Indian they’d always ask to try on bindis, which is cool, but it’s hard when people don’t see the intersectionality of the movie and why it’s so important. This issue is themed not only around gender, but around sexuality as well. In that arena, I think the ideas of commodification are equally applicable. “Everybody needs a gay best friend,” all the rainbow t-shirts, and the equality sign Facebook profile pictures are great until someone spray paints homophobic slurs on the side of Kathy Crow. One of the commenters on the Daily Campus made a good point about how, statistically speaking, dozens of (probably heterosexual) students must have walked past that slur before someone reported it. I’m left to wonder how our merch turns into speaking up in our everyday lives. Some of us might not be ready to leave everything and march, but surely we can have the courage to do simple things.
So have the movie nights, crack open a bottle of wine, and relax with your friends because life is hard, but try to push yourself one step further. Maybe watch some international films with lead women, or documentaries on the struggle. Read an article or two about how intersectionality affects feminism and don’t buy the ridiculous idea that feminists hate men. Put on that pride t-shirt and empower ALL people by trying to use your agency to help them get to their goals. Learn to listen to people whose perspectives you don’t understand and don’t let your different background prevent you from trying to learn more. After all, feminism and understanding can’t be bought off the rack.
Terisha Kolencherry Editor in Chief, Hilltopics
Who’s the Man? By Alec Petsche Convenient for me, the guy who only thinks about dating and is attracted to ninety percent of the human population, we’re writing about gender. Every queer man (preferably every man, but especially queer men) eventually finds it necessary to ask, in a world that frequently determines us to be lesser for What does it mean to be a man? The answer comes surprisingly easy: not much. It’s really just identifying as a man.
it’s good. I’m not the most masculine guy. I played football in high school, but that’s pretty much it, and since then I haven’t really cared about sports. But I do love how important sports are to other people. If you’re passionate about something then I want you to embrace it. I want to see you be happy when you get to tell me about it. But, if you’re like me and you don’t really care about sports, you shouldn’t have to pretend to so people will respect you as a man.
Better question: What does it mean to be masculine? Is it good, is it bad, does it even matter? Does it mean you’re physically strong? Violent? Cold? Does it mean you’re more of a man than someone more feminine? My brother (who is much more masculine than I) recently watched The Godfather for the first time; his favorite line struck a chord: “A man who does not spend time with his family can never be a real man.” Vito Corleone, the greatest symbol of male authority in the history of cinema, a man who maintains his power through coercion and violence, claims that it is family that makes you a man. It isn’t strength or power that makes you a man, but it isn’t family either (though that’s a much healthier yardstick than power or emotional stoicism). The only thing that makes you a man is thinking of yourself as one. There is nothing positive or negative about it. It simply is. If you are a man, good or bad, then you are a man. Liking normative masculine things doesn’t make you more of a man, just more you. I’m not trying to insult people with different priorities, just to clarify that we have different priorities and that
Feminists and queer people don’t (or at least shouldn’t) want to take away your masculinity; we just want individuals to be able to choose what their lives are about instead of labeling those individuals as lesser based on what is really just a difference in taste. This is, of course, a two-way street. Traditional masculine activities and behavior are often dismissed as being basic or stupid. Sports, cars, and beer are all just sort of thrown to the side and labeled as being exclusively for straight, white dude-bros. Your gender and sexual orientation do nothing to determine your personality or what you’re interested in; societal conditioning just pushes boys in one direction and girls in another at the
expense of everyone’s happiness. I like a good manicure, and I drink whiskey; neither of those makes me any more or less of a man, and neither one should lead you to believe the other isn’t true. Tastes are varied and complex. We need to stop judging other people for liking what they like when it doesn’t fit with our societal perception of their gender and/or sexuality. Let’s mix it up a little bit! Women should be able to like traditionally masculine things without being judged (or more likely clumsily and obnoxiously hit on by a man who thinks it’s hot that she’s “not like other girls,” or harassed by someone claiming that they’re only pretending to like masculine things to get attention). And men should be able to enjoy feminine things without being judged (or more likely mercilessly bullied for being a sissy). I want to live in a world where you run into all of your friends from your crafts class the next night at your fight club (an extreme example, yes, but a fun one). So, if you’re a man and you like lifting weights or watching football that’s great; the only thing that’s wrong here is trying to make people define their masculinity the same way that you define yours. There aren’t really any new ideas in this article, but if you want originality than you should probably find someone else to talk to. Additionally, if you spend any amount of your time trying to decide what is and isn’t okay for other people to enjoy based solely on their gender or sexuality, then you’re a sack of human garbage and I don’t want to know you.
2
Give Me a Ceiling By Cole Thomas I often ask myself: Where is my ceiling? All the time, women are praised for breaking through a glass ceiling. That leaves me feeling left out as a man because women will always be able to do something I can’t. Look, you don’t even have to make my ceiling glass. Honestly, I’d be happy settling for a brick ceiling. Sure, there won’t be glass shattering when I break through my ceiling like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, but at least I’ll be able to claim, as a man, that I did something reserved only for women. I also feel left out when it comes to the wage gap. People are always talking about the struggle women have as they make about seventy-seven cents to every dollar a man makes. Well, forget that “struggle” for a second and remember there are people out
there, men included, who don’t even have a job. As a male, I’m currently making zero cents to every dollar every working man makes! Why worry about the struggle of women, when not all men are making one hundred cents to every dollar a man supposedly makes! Then there’s the “tragedy” women face with a lack of healthcare. That’s great and all, and important too, but I can’t even get my healthcare taken care of on an ordinary basis. To be blunt about it: my sex life is lacking compared to a lot of my male peers, which leaves me feeling left out. I understand the need to get women healthcare so they can take care of their body. But when I’m denied the opportunity to visit my own general practitioner to complain about some painful green discharge, why should I feel pity for the woman who is denied healthcare that will prevent a little nuisance called pregnancy?
So, what I’m trying to say is: Just give me a ceiling.
3
Really, before I can start to value women’s health, I have got to be taken care of myself in that department. Finally, there is the lack of protection from violence women face. Or rather, the lack of it for me. I got beat up and mugged and left on the side of the road because I was walking alone to a gas station at one in the morning. Sure enough, people started blaming me for my condition, just like people blame women when they’re raped for being in the wrong place at the wrong time or being too nice to the wrong guy, or staying in an abusive relationship. Blame them all you want, but don’t blame me for needing a Snickers at one in the morning to satisfy my raging appetite. A raging appetite almost as strong as my desire for a ceiling.
False Binaries By Lorien Melnick Imagine it’s a normal day, and you’re on a tight schedule, and you just have to run to the bathroom real quick before a meeting. Real quick. But instead of the “man” and “woman” signs on the bathroom doors, there are other signs. Say they read “blonde” and “brunette.” And you’re a redhead. Say they read “Democrat” “Republican.” And you’re independent.
and an
Say they read “Normal people.” Say they read “Not for you.” Say you’re stuck out in the hallway, hesitating, and even if you eventually choose one, you’re worried. What if someone tells you to leave? What if somehow you’re in the wrong bathroom? For an art project this semester I’m working on a display about the transgender bathroom issue. I counted the bathrooms I had access to in the Meadows Art Building (there were eight pairs) and made signs to tape over the gender signs. Signs like “Christian/atheist” and “Apple user/ Android user”--false binaries. While some people think there are only two choices, some people simply don’t fit into these categories. The point of the project is to put people in the place of transgender or intersex individuals, for whom the gender signs
do not always apply. Not everyone fits into a two-sex system, and nowhere is this more clear than the bathroom issue. But when you’re running to use the bathroom quickly before a class you’re probably not thinking about this. Using the bathroom is simple for most people--they don’t give a second thought to which bathroom they’re choosing. But what if it wasn’t that easy? What if you were one of the ones standing outside, trying to decide?
on SMU’s campus. What does that say about us as a school? It certainly doesn’t portray an image of acceptance and inclusion. What if you could never feel comfortable using the bathroom? Wouldn’t it make your everyday life so much harder? I don’t think I’m asking for much. All I’m asking for is a few bathrooms,
What does that say about us as a school? It certainly doesn’t portray an image of acceptance There are a lot of different opinions and inclusion. about the transgender bathroom issue, and there are many convincing arguments on both sides of the debate. While I’m still trying to decide exactly where I stand on this issue, I do know one thing I support: gender-neutral bathrooms.
maybe a few signs changed on some bathrooms, which would mean the world to some people.
I don’t mean that all bathrooms should be gender-neutral. But I think that offering gender-neutral bathrooms alongside the gendered ones, at least in some parts of a building (perhaps one on each floor, for economic purposes), can lead to less confusion and more acceptance. Simply single-stalled, handicapped bathrooms would often suffice. There are none of these bathrooms in Meadows. Mostly I pass bathrooms and see only two options. Rarely do I see a gender-neutral handicapped bathroom, and I have never seen a regular gender-neutral bathroom
4
Planned Parenthood and Women’s Health: What Now? By Karen Guan In the realm of women’s rights, particularly the institution of Planned Parenthood, America has witnessed months of “all talk and no action.” Finally, the action has occurred: on Thursday, April 13, 2017, President Trump quietly signed the bill to defund Planned Parenthood, the leading provider of women’s healthcare. Taking into consideration the views of the Trump administration regarding women’s issues, the move was inevitable, and I am honestly not surprised. However, my lack of surprise certainly does not lessen the critical setback for the health of millions of women dependent upon Planned Parenthood whose future is now in greater danger than ever before. From the beginning of the Trump administration there have been intensive efforts to curb funding for women’s healthcare, particularly pertaining to abortion. In the first few days of his administration Trump signed an executive order - one of many - that called for reinstatement of the Mexico City policy, which blocks U.S. funding from reaching any NGO (nongovernmental organization) worldwide that performs abortion counseling. The key word here is “counseling,” as it is likely that those banned organizations do not even perform abortion services. Also known as the global gag rule, the policy was initially imposed by President Reagan in 1984. The Trump administration’s reinstatement of a policy from the previous century is indicative of the current state of women’s healthcare in America. At first read, the news of defunding appears to be quite broad in scope, and with the nuances of public policy we know there has got to be more to
5
the story than just a slash in funds sanctioned by the Trump-run national government. Additionally, Trump’s bill, in conservative fashion, provides states with the power to block Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers from receiving federal funds, which, understandably, has been hailed as a victory for states’ rights. The planned defunding of Planned Parenthood, as well as the reinstatement of a Reaganera policy, is a slap in the face to the Obama administration and its attempts to keep women’s healthcare in the national conversation. In the final days of the Obama presidency the Department of Health and Human Services implemented a rule that effectively banned local and state governments from withholding federal funding for family planning services. The rule was wideranging: extending to areas such as sexually transmitted diseases, cancer screenings, and contraception, among others. The regulation also forbade states and localities from withholding money from a provider for any reason other than inability to provide family planning services. However, the Obama administration and the premium it placed on women’s healthcare now seem like faraway fantasies rather than things that existed mere months ago. The exit of President Obama ushered in a new era of Republican dominance, which at its core contained a desire to restrict Planned Parenthood, which is now the defining symbol of women’s healthcare services, and, interestingly, abortion.
Planned Parenthood is not only a national symbol for women’s healthcare services, but it is also largely, and somewhat mistakenly, recognized for its abortion services, despite the fact that a trifling 3% of services rendered by Planned Parenthood are related to abortion. Furthermore, nearly half of clinics do not even perform abortions, and largely focus on general healthcare, such as cancer screenings. It may surprise some to discover that Planned Parenthood’s resources actually attempt to prevent abortion as much as possible, or to only turn to them as a final resort. It may also surprise you to discover that Trump signed the bill without media present. I mean, that’s quite antithetical to the Trump that America has been forced to get accustomed to. However, thanks to the power of the information age there will inevitably be backlash to the step backwards in women’s healthcare, and even in general care. Who can argue that preventative measures such as cancer screenings are detrimental to the health of a great nation? The saying “easier said than done” is certainly applicable to the current state of affairs. Furthermore, if I may remind you of the motto that has guided Planned Parenthood, and will undoubtedly guide the resistance of women’s rights: “Care. No matter what.”
Sex is Good
By Camille McCarty
Sexuality is one of the biggest buzzwords we hear today, and yet all of us seem confused as to what this word truly means. Sex is good: it is a beautiful expression of love that bonds a man and a woman together and can result in the creation of a new human being. Unfortunately, our culture today has effectively separated sexuality from its purpose and its goodness. Sex has been reduced to pleasure. The pill and other contraceptives have opened the door to having sex without the fear of its natural results. Sex is no longer a loving action between two people that leads to a strong union and procreation. Sex has been made cheap. A man buys a woman dinner and expects her to sleep with him in return. What does this lead to? Broken marriages, lack of respect, and abortion. Women are beautiful creatures. They have the ability and the gift to bring forth life into the world. Their bodies can grow and nurture a baby inside their womb. Yet our sex-ridden culture has lost respect for women. Men often see women only as a means of obtaining pleasure, and women often look at men the same way. Most of the time a man can walk away from a woman without getting her pregnant, but on the occasion that pregnancy does occur, men often feel no responsibility and walk away all the same. What is the woman to do when she finds herself pregnant, alone or unsupported, and unprepared for the responsibility of raising a child? Most women believe that they have no other choice but abortion. When contraceptives fail, abortion becomes a backup contraceptive. The humanity of the preborn is all but forgotten. You may have seen the display on Dallas Hall Lawn of 2500 crosses,
each cross
representing a baby who was a victim of abortion each day. This display was meant to honor those lives lost to abortion, each one as precious as every single SMU student. Our culture does not acknowledge the sacredness of these lives. Rather, it has placed the woman’s bodily rights above the baby’s fundamental right to life. We see the baby as less of a person because of his or her size, location, environment, or level of development. Not only is the life of the baby disregarded, but pregnancy is often seen as a problem. Many people are sexually active, but if we were to see a pregnant student, what would be our thoughts toward this woman? We may think things such as, “Oh, she messed up,” “That sucks she got pregnant,” or “ What was she thinking?” What if our mindsets shifted? What if we saw a pregnant student and thought of how beautiful she is? What if it inspired us to see if there were things we could do to support her? In such a climate as this a woman may not feel the pressure to abort. She could be empowered to believe that she can raise a child. If she were not able to raise her child she could bless another family with the life she brought forth. I believe women deserve better than abortion. Women and men deserve better than meaningless sex and they deserve respect from one another. However, it will be difficult to achieve this if we do not
start teaching young men and women that sex is only good if it is between two people who love one another and are committed to each other. I am not talking about our culture’s definition of love, which is focused on the way we feel and what the other does for us. I am talking about real love: love that desires the good of the other, love that sacrifices wants and desires, love that will do anything to make the other happy. This love, though more difficult, can lead to greater happiness. I only want to give my body, my whole self, over to a person who loves me like this. My sexuality is a great gift and I would only give everything over to someone who would in turn give everything over to me. In general, women use sex to get love and men use words and actions of love to get sex. What if women believed more strongly in their dignity and worth and would not give away sex so cheaply? What if men began to truly love and respect women for their whole selves, not just their sexuality? I do not think there would need to be 2500 crosses on Dallas Lawn. I do not think there would be so many women who would be sexually assaulted by men who failed to respect them. Sex is good, but it can be misused and abused. I think it is time to make an effort to restore sex’s meaning, to restore respect for each other, and to restore love for one another.
6
Let’s Imprison 169,000 Women (Or at Least Free 164,000 Men) By Andrew Sneed It is no coincidence that as our country progresses, American society increases in love, compassion, and support toward gender minorities. Nevertheless, some gender minorities continue to face hardships at the hands of bigots who act based on ignorant opinions. The United States Criminal Justice System—which seems to promote anything but justice—has successfully targeted one particular gender minority. According to a 2010 census, males represent merely 49.2% of the United States’ total population. However, according to the Federal Bureau of Prisons, males comprise an astounding 93.3% of the 2017 prison population. Indeed, men have an incarceration rate fourteen times higher than that of women. To those who would challenge the male gender’s status as a minority, let us visit the two factors which define the term. Oxford University Press’s North American dictionary classifies a group as a minority if it is the smaller part, and especially if it comprises less than half of the whole. As previously mentioned, the male gender represents 49.2% of the total population and is therefore indisputably a gender minority. How does American society respond to this mass incarceration of an outnumbered minority? Some ignorant bigots deny that the Criminal Justice System is systematically sexist; instead, they claim that the incarceration statistics make sense. These bigots are known to cite meaningless statistics about how men commit 86% of violent crime and therefore deserve similarly high incarceration rates. This does not make any sense. As previously mentioned, men represent only 49.2% of the American population; so how
7
could they commit a majority of violent crime? According to a Wall Street Journal article published in 2009, the average American commits “three felonies a day.” Although bigots might discount the Wall Street Journal as “fake news,” I will take the side of scholars and accept the information the journal presents. With the understanding that every American commits exactly “three felonies a day,” men would commit 49.2% of felonies. So, unless imprisonment for misdemeanors alone explains the monstrous disparity in incarceration, there must be another explanation. That explanation is: men are stereotyped into prison. Indeed, the stereotype that men are criminals is self-fulfilling. Because police officers see so many men in prison, their implicit biases lead them to arrest men unjustly. Sometimes a man is imprisoned for no crime, but more often he is imprisoned for one of a woman’s three daily felonies. Operating under the disproven assumption that men commit more crime than women, many bigots offer pseudo-solutions to the male gender’s problems. The bigots at the Brookings Institute, for instance, claim that people can avoid poverty and crime by finishing high school, getting a fulltime job, and waiting until age twentyone to get married and have children. It’s very obvious that the Brookings Institute employs women, because they clearly don’t understand man’s plight. How can men do these things with the injustice of 176,000 imprisoned men looming over their heads? Indeed, there are only two actual solutions to the incarceration
disparity. First, we could release men from prison until they represent exactly 49.2% of inmates. Considering there are currently 12,650 women in prison, this would entail the release of 163,985 male prisoners. The second and most inclusive solution would be to arrest enough American citizens of each gender so that the 176,000 imprisoned men represent 49.2% of inmates in America. This would mean arresting an additional 169,073 women, and arresting or releasing the appropriate amounts for all other genders. Economist Thomas Sowell, a member of the male gender who is therefore qualified to speak about man’s plight, details this solution in his book The Quest for Cosmic Justice. In it, he concludes that equality cannot truly be achieved until we see absolute equality of outcome. For this reason, every believer in social justice must vow to partake in the “quest for cosmic justice.” I have done my part by writing this article, but what will you do? Whatever your plan of attack, we must continue to strive as a society until we achieve equal outcome for all—the only assurance of equal treatment and opportunity.
Here to Blend By Camille Aucoin
The internship was fantastic. The members of my team were hardworking, funny, incredibly intelligent, respectful, and very quick to welcome me as one of their own. As the summer went on, however, I was quick to notice that aside from being the only woman on my team, I was one of the few women engineers in the entire company. Women have a significant presence in the company, but women engineers are few and far between. This is a systemic issue in the power industry. Did I ever experience outright sexism? No, but spending eight-hour workdays surrounded by the opposite sex doesn’t always make for the most comfortable environment. At SMU, we in Lyle have the luxury of a rather high percentage of female engineers (approximately 35%; yes, this is considered a high number). Despite this, I have never felt particularly overwhelmed by my male counterparts in Lyle. They are, for the most part, respectful, extremely intelligent, and enjoyable to work with.
Last summer, I had the pleasure of interning for a power utility company in Kansas. The internship involved planning transmission line projects and running feasibility tests. At the end of my phone interview with my soon-tobe boss, one last statement was mentioned: “Oh by the way,” he said. “I just want to let you know that because of federal regulations, our team works in a closed, locked room…and all six team members are men.” I chuckled a bit before replying, “I think I can handle that.”
their ideas. This, of course, is not how everyone views female engineers, but a certain amount of this kind of thinking still lurks beneath the surface of every engineering school and engineering firm. It is statements like these that keep me fighting as a female engineer. Women in engineering are pigeon-holed into historically male roles in a male-dominated field. We are expected to downplay any aspects of femininity in order to appear less threatening to our male coworkers. I’m not asking for permission to wear a dress to a substation contractor meeting; I’m fighting to feel comfortable enough to be myself in the workplace. When I advocate for my ideas, I can be viewed as bossy. When male engineers advocate for their ideas, they are seen as assertive, innovative, and are often promoted.
Stories of these occurrences are not myths. Fortunately, I have never experienced losing a promotion due to undercurrents of sexism. However, I have often curtailed my ideas, softened my Why, then, do I feel the need to fight delivery, and carefully practiced my for myself so much as a woman in en- speech to avoid coming off as too bossy. gineering? If the men in my field are so agreeable and usually respectful, why Again, I emphasize that male engineers should it matter that I will be entering a are not systemically disrespectful to job in July at which I will be one of two their female coworkers and do not acwomen on a fifty-person team? tively put them down in the workplace to achieve promotions or to lead projLast year, SMU’s Weekly Campus pub- ects. However, male engineers, espelished an article titled “The style of the cially those in older generations, were Lyle School’s women” in which the taught by male engineering professors. writer asserts that “female students at Their classmates were male engineers. the Lyle School consciously downplay Their coworkers have long been male their dress in order to please professors engineers. Some male engineers have and compete with their male coun- never been exposed to project teams terparts.” Female engineers are often with female engineers. Even fewunfortunately viewed as bossy, too as- er male engineers have worked with sertive, and even sometimes bitchy for any percentage of the large volume of speaking their minds and fighting for young, intelligent women currently en-
8
tering the industry. We are a relatively new phenomenon that has pushed the men of the engineering world into a phase of adjustment. I have seen this evolution within my lifetime.
practices are alive and well and still affecting women today.
Because of this, sexism in engineering is often subtle. It involves things like remaining silent in meetings filled with male coworkers. It involves fear of asking your male boss for more or larger responsibilities. It involves fear of criticizing male coworkers’ ideas, even when you see significant issues with them. It involves carefully considering what you wear to the workplace out of fear of being “distracting,” while women and have squeezed into every your male coworkers sport khakis and crevice of society, whether we notice polos every day of the week. or not. I don’t know what equality in engineering looks like and I don’t know what it will take to get to that point. Sexism in engineering is a problem with roots in our society, not just our industry. Sexism in engineering exists for the same reasons that we police what young girls wear in grade school rather than educating young boys on appropriate behavior. The effects of years of these kinds of interactions are detrimental to
9
Unfortunately, calling out this kind of sexism often places women in the same cycle of appearing bossy, overly sensitive, or just crying wolf with sexism to get ahead of male coworkers. Fighting it is tricky and involves, above all else, education and mutual respect. Thankfully, we, as a society, have eradicated many of the overly misogynistic practices that plagued us for centuries. However, the undercurrents of these
So, until we can reach a point of gender equality in engineering, I’ll keep fighting for myself, my ideas, and my intelligence. I haven’t spent four years learning circuit analysis, coding languages, and power systems analysis to spend the rest of my career in the subtle background of my male coworkers. I’ve spent four years sharpening my mind, so call me bossy, but you bet I’m going to speak it.
Mirrors By Biko McMillan Mirrors seem to laugh at me every time I pass by them. It’s almost as if they know every lie I’ve told while trying to show off the me that I’m not. Oh, to be me again, or rather, Oh, to be me for the first time. Society tends to be fascinated with me But only insofar as they can tell me what the fuck to do and how to do it. He wants to get to know the skeletons in his closet. Before he becomes dead to those who can’t accept them. He wants to know what love is. But can’t. Yet. Or feels that he shouldn’t. Or feels that he can’t. Because his love is not okay to them. His being is not okay to them. So he hides behind phone apps And confuses normal infatuation with a judgement lapse. Maybe if he keeps busy, he won’t have to acknowledge the truth. He might be different. But is he really?
Penetration By Naomi Samuel
Upon a rainy evening, in sumptuous solace I resided He ravished the clouds above, so in you were invited You caressed my virgin heart, and decided I would bloom And together, we created offspring beyond my womb Penetration of my pain, so much we‘d explore Knowing our passion would never exist once more My pen traced my spine, which seemed to collapse The curve of the moon became the arch in my back The dim of the candles, and use of the wax To seal your every breath, as you had me relax And soon the sound of his wind beating at my doors Was muffled by the rhythm of our bodies on the floor There wasn’t a second we’d been able to spare Our frenzy doused me in sweat and pulled at my hair My mind was racing, to document our dance before it slipped For fear the thoughts would exit too quick through my lower lips
Stejara Iulia Dinulescu Landscape 9” x 12” Oil on board
A lingering glance farewell, knowing you’ll only be revisited In the corners of my mind, where we lay uninhibited He has made me suffer, but it’s because of him we were born Perfect in fleeting existence-a rose with no thorn.
10
Staff and Contributors Executives
Editor in Chief............. Terisha Kolencherry Tech and Layout Editor.... Stejara Dinulescu Copy Editors....................Abby Hawthorne .............................. Destiny Rose Murphy ....................................... Andrew Sneed Online Editor...............................Alec Mason Social Media................Destiny Rose Murphy
Contributors
Images
Cover................................ Camille Aucoin Model...........................Andrew Ksendzoff Find us online at: hilltopicssmu.wordpress.com Or on Facebook: SMU Hilltopics
Alec Petsche Cole Thomas Lorien Melnick Karen Guan Special thanks to Dr. David Doyle, Camille McCarty Andrew Sneed Sally Spaniolo, and Camille Aucoin. Camille Aucoin