Fatima ALDAMOVA

I am sitting here as a traveler of Google Maps in Kolomensky Park. Absorbing everything I could notice, I will describe it in details to you. I hope my writing will not exhaust you. The green surrounds me. I am drowning in grass and foliage. The yellow surrounds me. I am drowning in golden glory of dandelions. The white surrounds me. I am drowning in cherry petals. The clouds on sky look unnaturally puffy and shapeless with gaps of blue colour on some space. Trees are posing for the photo like awkward constantans of American Top Model in the first episodes of every season. I guess that comparison came into my mind because of the shape of tree trunks and my bright imagination. Yet it is not only about the nature, people are also here. Families. Friends. And. Loners. They all sitting under the tress enjoying the weather. I am really curious about what they are talking about. What are the topics of their conversation? Maybe it is about their plans on weekends, or their awkward yet funny stories that happened with them at school, maybe it is all about irrelevant gossips, probably concerning their annoying boss. Who knows? There are millions of possibilities. That is what fascinates and intrigues me. But I will never know. I am framed in my own reality, which right now is virtual. But I completely forgot about the loners like me. It is more difficult to imagine what they are thinking about, what bothers them. It is interesting to guess whether they are worried they are in their own company or they truly enjoy it. I can imagine light wind against my face here while I am sitting and peeking at other people. It blows away the petals from the cherry trees that fall down on the ground. By the way, about the ground, the dandelions look bright. Probably if I were here for real, I would get dirty because of their flower juice. It could happen with a high percentage of possibility. My carelessness plays bad jokes on me, which is really upsetting. I will get dirty almost wherever I can. From a bus to home. Anyway, I hope no one carelessly gets dandelion juice on their clothes. It would be really upsetting if that happened. Dandelion juice is almost impossible to wash off. I remember how my mother was scolding me when I was a little for staining my shirt. She was complaining that she is the only one who does the laundry and maybe I should do it too so I could understand how exhausting it is. In other words, after this I felt sorry. Yet I am still clumsy and sometimes do not even understand where I get my clothes dirty. At least, it happens not as often as it used to be. Anyway, I see that I got a little bit sidetrack from the current moment and stuck in my memory. Sorry for that digression.

I completely forgot to mention. It is not my first time being in this place (however, it is the first time in a virtual form) Previously, I was here with my classmates from school. We had a photo shoot for our last photo book together. Almost graduates. The scene was almost the same as here. However, it was more chaotic than in this picture. My classmates really liked fooling around, some even annoyed me. Never really liked the collective of my class. I could interact and be patient with only several people. Until this day I think: was it me who was so immature and childish or them? I believe it was them. I don’t take any criticism. Period. I am sure that there is flowery, bittersweet smell (like several years ago when I was there). The mixed fragrance of cherry flowers, grass and dandelions. At least, that how I remember it. The whole atmosphere of the picture seems to be calm and relaxing, but every person has their own definition of peace so I will not claim it as a fact (this is why I used the word “seems”). It all appears as I am really not a reliable narrator (‘cause I am not). Our own perception, expectations and imagination play tricks on us. Don’t you think so?