Jewish News - Dads & Grads June 8, 2020

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Supplement to Jewish News June 8, 2020 jewishnewsva.org | June 8, 2020 | Father’s Day | Jewish News | 11


Dads & Grads Dear Readers,

Y

ou know how we always joke about the High Holidays never being on time? With

R I S T O R A N T E I N S P I R E D

B Y

I T A LY

that thought it mind, it appears that Father’s Day this year is perfectly on time. That’s

because the Commonwealth of Virginia is just allowing beaches, zoos, museums, restaurants, and gyms to open…all fun activities to do with dads. One of the best reasons that Father’s Day is ‘more on time’ this year, however, might be a benefit of COVID-19. Now, more than under normal circumstances, families are in one place, in one home—including adult children who are normally out-of-state—so dads get to actually be with their kids on Father’s Day, on Sunday, June 21. Within this section, we pay homage to dads in a variety of ways, including a brief piece on the late Jerry Stiller, whose favorite role was Jewish Dad. Last month, Leslie Siegel’s father passed away at the age of 95. For Father’s Day, she wrote a piece honoring his life, one that was so well-lived. It is on page 16. Dad Jokes are laughed at literally and figuratively these days. One Israeli, now living in Chicago, is having a particularly good time telling them. His story is on page 18. For the Class of 2020, graduation was not on time. In fact, for most, it didn’t even happen. These students didn’t have the opportunity to properly say goodbye to their classmates and teachers or to clear out their lockers or dorm rooms. They didn’t experience the excitement of hearing Pomp and Circumstance, wearing their cap and gown, and watching their proud parents watch them. Still, these students did earn diplomas, even

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without ceremony. On page 14 we recognize a few of these graduates.

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Dads & Grads Actor Jerry Stiller’s Favorite Role? Proud Jewish Dad. Lior Zaltzman

J

erry Stiller, who died on May 11 at age 92 from natural causes, was an unforgettable comedic talent. Beyond the hilarious roles that he’ll always be remembered for—most notably as George Costanza’s father, Frank, on Seinfeld—he was, above all, an extraordinarily loving Jewish dad of two. Gerald Isaac Stiller had a profoundly Jewish upbringing in Brooklyn and, later, the Lower East Side. His mother’s family came from Frampol, Poland—where Isaac Bashevis Singer also hails from. His father immigrated from Galicia and became a taxi driver, and later a bus driver, in New York. He was also a lover of vaudeville and took his young son to see shows. As a student in Seward High School in the Lower East Side, where Zero Mostel and other famous comedians also

attended, one of Stiller’s first acting roles was playing Adolf Hitler. “The show was called Hitler Goes to Heaven,” Stiller told EmmyAwardInterviews, and he “got a lot of laughs.” His rise to fame started as an act of love. Stiller and his unlikely girlfriend— and later wife of 60-plus years—Anne Meara, a tall, redheaded Irish woman, created a comedy act based upon their opposites-attract relationship. Stiller and Meara, as the duo was known, became a household name in the 1960s. They were frequent guests on the Ed Sullivan Show and they performed in Las Vegas and appeared in successful commercials. Even if their audiences were neither Jewish nor Irish, many couples who came from different backgrounds related to their story. At a time where intermarriage was still largely considered taboo, the two gave so many the laughter

and validation they craved. Notably, while Meara, who passed away in 2015, kept her last name, she did convert to Judaism before their children—Amy, 58, and Ben, 54—were born (“so they would know where they came from”). The family wasn’t very religious, but they celebrated Jewish holidays and Ben was bar mitzvahed. Stiller and Meara retired their act by 1970. But Stiller experienced a resurgence of fame later in life when he was cast as Frank Costanza on Seinfeld. At first, the character was supposed to be meek and quiet, but at the last minute, Stiller decided to improvise, creating the loud and argumentative dad we came to know and love in the iconic 1990s sitcom. While Stiller was featured in less than 30 episodes, his character was truly iconic and he was nominated for an Emmy for the role.

Despite all of Stiller’s successes, the role of his lifetime was, by his own admission, that of a father. “You’ll always know if I’m in the audience when Ben or our daughter, Amy, is performing,” he told Esquire in 2005. “I’m the one laughing loudest.” Ben Stiller—himself a Jewish father of two—recalls his childhood as unusual but idyllic in its own way: “We got to stay up late and go to TV studios. It was like this fun fantasyland. But we had no idea how hard they worked.” While Stiller did not want his kids to go into entertainment because he feared the rejection, he became his children’s biggest fans. The kind of adoration Stiller felt for his kids is palpable in every photograph of him with his children. He seems thrilled—in awe, even—every time he looks at them.

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Dads & Grads

Mazel Tov to the Class of 2020! G

raduation ceremonies and celebrations for the Class of 2020, whether for high school, college, or graduate school, came to a screeching halt because of COVID-19. Another casualty of the pandemic. Still, imaginative celebrations took place via ZOOM, drive-by parades, and streaming, among other methods…all with far less pomp and circumstance…but with plenty of creativity and emotion. Jewish News celebrates all graduates, in addition to those recognized here. Mazel Tov to the Class of 2020 on your accomplishments and achievements!

Asher Baum SCHOOL: Norfolk Academy DEGREE: High School Diploma HONORS: Varsity Soccer— high scorer, senior season SPECIAL NOTES: BBYO officer (local and regional), Girl Up Club PLANS: University of Maryland, College Park PARENTS: Elena and Gary Baum

Kacey Cooper PARENTS: Pam and David Blais School: Norfolk Academy Degree: High School Diploma Honors: Honor Roll student for entire Norfolk Academy career Special Notes (Activities): 4-year Varsity Soccer, 3-year Varsity Volleyball, Medical Scholars Program, Internship Virginia Oncology, Peer Counselor, China Exchange Program Plans: Attending Washington & Lee University in Fall 2020 Parents: Betsy and Erik Cooper Kacey Cooper.

Adam Epstein Asher Baum.

Sarah Blais SCHOOL: Cape Henry Collegiate DEGREE: High School Diploma with honors HONORS: Faculty Award for academic excellence SPECIAL NOTES: National Honor Society, peer tutor, studied classical ballet PLANS: James Madison University, majoring in biology

SCHOOL: University of Virginia DEGREE: Bachelor of Arts (Psychology and Sociology) SPECIAL NOTES: FeelGood, raising money to support anti-poverty programs. PLANS: Continuing with education. PARENTS: Chris and Sam Epstein

Adam Epstein. Sarah Blais.

Deni Budman

Jonathan Peck

SCHOOL: Boston University DEGREE: Bachelor of Arts HONORS: Summa Cum Laude; College of Communication Blue Chip Award recipient SPECIAL NOTES: Brooks Family Scholarship for Excellence in Jewish Studies, BU Admissions Ambassador PARENTS: Terri and Steve Budman

School: Hyde School, Bath Maine Degree: High School Diploma Special Notes (Activities): Varsity Cross Country, Prep Basketball, Varsity Lacrosse, Dorm Captain Plans: James Madison University Parents: Stephanie and Paul Peck

Deni Budman.

14 | Jewish News | Father’s Day | June 8, 2020 | jewishnewsva.org

Jonathan Peck.


Dads & Grads Audrey Peck School: Norfolk Academy Degree: High School Diploma Honors: Cum Laude Society, Batten Leadership Program Literacy Fellow Special Notes (Activities): Varsity Volleyball, Varsity Basketball (Co-Captain), Varsity Softball (Co-Captain) Plans: University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill Parents: Stephanie and Paul Peck

Audrey Peck.

Strelitz International Academy

(formerly Hebrew Academy of Tidewater)

Graduating Class of 2013

S

arah Blais, Tia Einhorn, Jordan Familant, Leora Friedman, Elizabeth Hughes, Daniel Krell, Sam Lederman, Rose Lefcoe, Emily Myers, Audrey Peck, Jonathan Peck, Micah Shachet-Briskin, Joshua Schwarz, Rachael Stromberg, Sanni Wagenaar, Shoshanah Zysman SIA’s Class of 2013 will attend: College of Charleston, College of Wooster, James Madison University, Old Dominion University, Seminar in Jerusalem, Shenandoah Musical Theater Program, Tulane University, University of the Arts in Philadelphia, University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, and Virginia Commonwealth

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Dads & Grads First Person

A hero lost, but forever loved: Stan Smolen Leslie Siegel

W

hen my sister Lynn and I were young, Daddy was our hero. As we grew up and learned his stories we realized he was an American hero, too. Our precious father, Stan Smolen, died last month at the age of 95. He was a veteran of WWII who served his country proudly. He was a courageous 19-year-old First Lieutenant Navigator in the Army Air Corp flying 35 missions on a B-17 Bomber. But most importantly, he was the patriarch of our family. Our father was born on February 12, 1925, to parents who had immigrated from Russia to escape anti-Semitism. He grew up in Philadelphia with two older sisters, and they lived a modest, but comfortable life until the Great Depression. Daddy always told us the family moved every time the rent was due. We thought he was kidding, but it was probably not far from the truth. When my grandfather lost his business, they were forced to make many moves and ultimately had to

break up the family and live with three different relatives for a year. Eventually, with the offer of work, they reunited and moved to Washington, DC. This move changed Daddy’s life forever, when at a high school Jewish fraternity party, he was introduced to a very beautiful 15-year-old, named Patricia Rose. That night, 17-year-old Stan told Rose he was going to marry her someday. Daddy’s family was very passionate about being Americans. Therefore, when the United States entered the war, Stan who was a student at George Washington University, immediately signed up to serve. Knowing he wanted to fly and be an officer, Stan signed up for the Army Air Corps, which eventually became the Air Force. After a year of training, he graduated as a Navigator and became part of a 10-man crew of a B-17 bomber destined for the European front. At age 19, my father navigated his crew across the Atlantic Ocean using radio signals from Greenland and Iceland and the stars as his guide. He used to marvel that today’s

Stan Smolen with his great grandchildren.

16 | Jewish News | Father’s Day | June 8, 2020 | jewishnewsva.org

golfers use GPS to get to the next hole. The crew, based near London, became his family and during the 35 combat missions over France, Germany, and Czechoslovakia, they depended on each other for their existence. During their missions, they suffered broken wings spinning out of control pinning them to seats and walls, and being hit con1st Lieutenant, Stan Smolen. stantly with flack and bullets breaking windows and damaging the exterior. Their most dangerous mission was when they crashlanded in Brussels. Their engine was hit during a bombing near Frankfort creating a fire. While they prepared to eject, the pilot was eventually able to land. It might have been a situation where they could have been captured by the Germans, but the British had liberated Belgium the previous day. Wedding Day of Pat and Stan Smolen. They entered a city told him how every time a B-17 formation in celebration and were probably the first flew over they would cheer and jump and Americans there. wave. Many decades later my dad heard Kitty My father finished his bombing misSaks’ story at the opening of the Holocaust sions and returned to America in 1945 at Commission’s What We Carry program the age of 19 as a First Lieutenant with a and looked forward to meeting her and distinguished Flying Cross and an Oak exchanging memories of that day they Leaf Cluster air medal. Now that he was unknowingly shared. The day they met, finally home, he proposed to the girl of his they shared memories, hugs, and tears. dreams, Patricia Rose, and they truly lived My dad also had the privilege of “happily ever after.” meeting Bill Jucksch, one of our local couAfter finishing his service, he began rageous liberators. We spent a morning in his career in men’s retailing. Moving from Bill’s room filled with WWII memories. a stock boy at 15 to a buyer and then Sharing war stories, like old friends, Bill


Dads & Grads to president and CEO of 4 major men’s’ stores, including Shulman’s in Norfolk. Lynn and I grew up in the beautiful city of Asheville, N.C. where we had a wonderful Jewish community that we were all very active in. Daddy was president of the JCC and B’nai Brith, in addition to many business and civic organizations. Our household was always filled with love and my father’s amazing laugh. When we left for college, my parents moved to Norfolk, which eventually caused us and our husbands, Larry Siegel and Jerry Hankin, to move to Virginia Beach. Lynn and I built homes next door to one another, inspired by our parent’s love of family staying close. Here we raised our children, two girls each. After our parents’ moves to Buffalo and Chicago, they retired to Virginia Beach to join our growing families. Our parents loved to travel together. To celebrate their 60th anniversary, they took an around-the-world 66-day cruise. Over the years they had visited every continent!

Eventually, all their granddaughters got married and had kids of their own and all moved back to Virginia Beach. Pat and Stan loved their time watching their great grandchildren grow up and were an active part of their lives. Our Pat and Stan celebrating his birthday with their children and grandchildren. beloved mother passed away a wonderful sense of humor, a teller of He mentored and consulted with small six years ago and although we thought great stories, a giver of warm hugs, always business owners for many years after our father would die of a broken heart, greeting with a kiss on both cheeks. He retirement. His one regret was the advice he instead put his immense love and was loved by everyone who met him. he gave to a young tie salesman telling strength into his family and made a new Stan Smolen was a man of many him not to go into designing clothes since life for himself at Atlantic Shores. At the names: Daddy to myself and Lynn. Dad he was doing a great job selling ties. His age of 90, he became a writer and would to our husbands’ Larry and Jerry. Poppa name was Ralph Lauren. At 92, my father spend hours at his computer writing his Stan to his grandchildren, Shaye and called Nordstrom with some customer autobiography, as well as incredible stoGlen Arluk, Kari Amuial, Megan and service ideas. Mr. Nordstrom took the ries about the war, travels with Pat, and Steve Zuckerman, and Ryan and Dan call personally, and they chatted for 45 the bond of family. Miller. Best of all he was just Poppy to his minutes. My father loved to celebrate all of 10 adoring great grandchildren, Brianna, After a trip to St. Petersburg, he wrote his granddaughters’ weddings, two great Madison, Dylan, Jordan, Devon, Jonah, to the Kremlin about how they could granddaughters going to college, and Chloe, Cameron, Molly, and Jackson. improve the gift shop at the Hermitage. attended and spoke at four great grandFinally, to his Country, his name was He never received a response! children’s B’nai mitzvahs. Hero. My father was a man of much wisdom, My dad always had advice and ideas.

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Dads & Grads This Israeli’s daily ‘dad jokes’ are making his Chicago neighbors laugh during dark times Philissa Cramer

(JTA)—Monday morning, June 2, marked the first time in months that Yair Bernstein thought twice about making his neighbors laugh. The previous night, his city of Chicago and many others across the United States were convulsed by demonstrations against police brutality that in places lapsed into looting and clashes between police and protesters. It was hard for Bernstein to see a role for the task he took on shortly after he began staying home because of the coronavirus pandemic: posting daily “dad jokes” in the window of his basement apartment. But he ultimately decided to press on, choosing a groaner for the day’s poster, the 37th in his series: “I would like to be a millionaire just like my dad. He also wanted to be a millionaire.” “I’m not a funny person,” says Bernstein, an Israeli who moved to Chicago five years ago to teach Hebrew and Judaic studies at Bernard Zell Anshe Emet Day School. Still, his jokes—which he finds online, including on an app called, quite literally, Dad Jokes—have drawn the attention of neighbors and even the Chicago Tribune. We chatted with the Jerusalem native and father of two young children about what inspired his project, his favorite jokes and how humor can help us in trying times. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. JTA: When did you get the idea for your project, and what has the reaction been? Bernstein: The idea came from a friend who was doing it in a different neighborhood. She was doing it on her lawn. I realized I could do it in my window—I don’t have a lawn, unfortunately. I started posting them one day, and I decided to number them—I didn’t know how long I’m going to do it for, but it became a habit. I didn’t know that people were reading them. But slowly it was clear that people were enjoying them—they were passing by, stopping, laughing and taking pictures. That made me realize that it was

important to people, so I’ve continued doing it. We’re at 37 today. I knew that I wanted to collect and post them all over the school when we go back to school. But I didn’t know I would have so many—I don’t know if they’re all going to fit.

Bernstein: Today was the first time I thought I didn’t want to do it. But then I thought to myself this is exactly the reason people want to see it. Things are not so good now, and people are looking for something different, something to make them feel a little better.

JTA: Jews are famously funny. What’s Jewish about this project for you? Bernstein: Being an educator in a Jewish community and a Jewish person, I grew up looking to live a more meaningful life and trying to make the world a better place. The phrase tikkun olam, American Jews really believe in it. I think this fits into that. I can only do what I can do. In the state that I have in my life, I can’t give big [donations], but I can make some people feel better—I think I can do that.

JTA: You teach Hebrew and Judaic studies. What has that been like online, and how do you use humor in the classroom? Bernstein: Our school started planning and thinking about it a while in advance, so we put a plan in place early to transition our content. We got used to it. . I’m not a funny person, but I recognize funny things. I respond well to sarcasm, which is good for working with teenagers. It’s not like I would come into the classroom with a joke ready, but students know to expect a fun time with me. It’s important as an educator. it’s going to be OK. We’ve been through harder things, even though it doesn’t feel like that.

JTA: This week, laughter feels farther away. How are you thinking about your project now?

JTA: Have you considered going back to Israel over the last couple of difficult months? Bernstein: My wife and I came to work as shlichim [emissaries] for three years, which we then extended to five. And then at the end of five we decided we have more to do here. The World Zionist Organization was not happy: We were supposed to bring modern Hebrew and Jewish studies to a school here and then come back home. We are still planning to do that at some point—we just don’t know when. It’s going to be OK. We’ve been through harder things, even though it doesn’t feel like that. JTA: What’s been your favorite joke from this project? Bernstein: I liked the one from today. But also this one: Unfortunately since the quarantine, I can only tell inside jokes.

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