Mazel Tov! It's Hanukkah - Jewish News Supplement 12.5.22

Mazel Tov! It’s Hanukkah

Introducing the Signature Weddings Team at the Cavalier Resort.

From planning your engagement to the party for after “I Do!”, our Signature Weddings Team is there every step of the way. With over 40 venue spaces for your celebrations, the possibilities for your dream wedding experience are endless. Spacious lawns and gardens, luxury ballrooms, charming loggias, and oceanfront backdrops await you.

Start Planning

CAVALIERWEDDINGS.COM

FAVORITE WEDDING MOMENT: “Bringing the couple in to see the event space for the first time after all the planning!”

FAVORITE WEDDING MOMENT:

“The Wedding Recessional - it’s the last moments of your ceremony, and the first moments as newlyweds.”

FAVORITE WEDDING MOMENT:

“The First Look - when a couple sees each other for the first time whether it’s before the ceremony or walking down the aisle.”

FAVORITE WEDDING MOMENT: “Watching the couple share their first dance! It’s the first moment together as Mr. and Mrs. and you can just feel the love in the room!”

JOSLYN PHELPS Director of Weddings

LORI LEWIS

Event Planning Manager

GINA MARINELLI Event Planning Manager

JENNA DENVEY Sales & Catering Coordinator

Mazel tov! It’s Hanukkah

Dear Readers,

The late, notably irreverent comedian Lenny Bruce once quipped that most Jewish holidays are “observed” rather than celebrated, including Hanukkah. Perhaps when Bruce performed that particular shtick back in 1961 that joke was accurate…Jews solemnly lit the hanukiah, ate some latkes, played a little dreidel, and maybe, just maybe, children received some gelt.

How times have changed! While still recounting the miracle of Hanukkah and the holiday’s celebration of religious freedom along with the rededication of the Temple, today’s Hanukkah is filled with parties, decorations, fun food and drinks, and, of course, gifts. Yes, we celebrate Hanukkah!

This section contains articles that cover it all, including a piece on the seriousness of the holiday with a message from Rabbi Israel Zoberman on page 21 and personal thoughts and traditions about Hanukkah from locals on page 16.

Eitan Altshuler introduces readers to an alternative to oil-drenched donuts and latkes with Gulab Jamun, a treat made by the Jews of India. This dessert is delicious and takes minimal time to prep and cook. Page 18.

Hanukkah-themed books for children, parties, and a reminder to donate to Jewish Family Service’s annual Chanukah Gift Program are among the many other articles featured.

We also celebrate with Elijah Mallenbaum, a recent bar mitzvah who took his mitzvah project to a new level with his contributions to Habitat for Humanity. Page 25. Mazel Tov Elijah!

Whatever you’re celebrating this season, we hope you do it with good health, peace, and lots of mazel.

Chag Sameach and Mazel Tov!

Terri Denison

Editor

Mazel tov!

It’s Hanukkah

Hanukkah Traditions in the 757

The traditions we cherish

Debra J Aleck DPM,

FACFAS

Everyday life can be stressful and full of uncertainty. Having a special time of year like Hanukkah, when we know exactly what to do, the way we have always done it, or to start a new tradition, provides a comfortable sense of structure, control, and stability.

From reciting blessings to lighting the menorah, raising a glass to make a toast, eating jelly donuts and potato latkes, as well as spinning the dreidel, Hanukkah tradi tions are replete with rituals. Along with rituals, many core values are relevant to include leadership, freedom, hope, light, community, giving, resilience, and belief.

The Aleck and Koltun families wish everyone a safe and fulfilled holiday season, as well as a happy and healthy New Year.

Doing it all Marilyn Johns

A time for the kids Jonathan Kugel

We’re

looking forward to helping our kids set up and light their chanukiyot and saying all the Berachot together.

Full disclosure, we do it all!

Thanksgiving kicks off the winter holidays in my home. Our adult children come from far and wide to pull out every holiday decoration, menorah, tree, Santa, light, and dreidel that we own and begin the process of turning our home into what looks like a Hallmark movie set! I kvetch and complain a little (especially when they try to decorate in July), but, I really love the happiness it brings to us all.We started a new tradition a few years ago, each doing a little research and sharing a spiritual, religious, or historical insight/ fact about the holidays and then discussing it. A standard tradi tion in our home for every holiday throughout the year is playing a guitar, piano, or percussion instrument and singing together after a delicious meal.

From our house to yours, we wish you a Happy and Healthy Holiday Season!

This Hanukkah, I am excited to be back with my family in Virginia Beach and Norfolk. I’m excited to make latkes with my sister and mom, spin dreidels with my step sister, and light candles with my dad. This was one of the first Jewish memories I have with my family and I’m looking forward to rekindling the light in a way that hasn’t been possi ble for the last few years while I was in college.

Debbie Burke

Jewish News asked locals about their favorite Hanukkah traditions and what they’re looking forward to this holiday.

This year, Hanukkah begins at sundown on December 18 and runs through December 26.

A time to rekindle Hailey Behrman

Debra J Aleck.

Jonathan Kugel.

Hailey Behrman.

Marilyn Johns.

Countdown to the best Hanukkah ever with author Amy Shoenthal

Debbie Burke

Dreaming of Hanukkah: Counting down to the Festival of Lights

Amy Shoenthal

Arcadia Children’s Books

18 pages, 2022

L ots of color, a lesson in counting and Jewish history, and a sprin kle of latkes… what can be bad? Marketing executive and journalist Amy Shoenthal has penned a book that has all these elements in a fun and easy-to-fol low package for young readers with her new release, Dreaming of Hanukkah: Counting down to the Festival of Lights. The story includes the highlights of this special holiday, featuring four spinning dreidels, seven delicious donuts, 10 pieces of gelt, and more. Shoenthal recently spoke to Jewish News about what inspired her and shared her favorite things about the holiday.

Jewish News: What inspired this book? Amy Shoenthal: Arcadia Publishing has this lovely “counting down” children’s book series that takes young ones through places like Boston, New Orleans, and more, and now they’ve expanded the series to include holidays. Nancy Ellwood from Arcadia lives in my neighborhood, and she had advised illustrator Kate Durkin and myself on another children’s book we were writing ( A Magical Day in Sunnyside). During one of our morn ing coffee sessions, she asked if we’d be interested in collaborating with her and Arcadia on a book about Hanukkah.

JN: What qualities did you feel were important to imbue into the characters here?

AS: I wanted to show that everyone of all ages and all backgrounds can enjoy celebrating Hanukkah. That’s how I cel ebrated the holiday growing up, so I wanted to bring that sentiment to this book.

JN: What are your stron gest memories of Hanukkah when you were a child?

AS: My mother went above and beyond decorating our house every year to make it feel really fes tive and special. I have a vivid image of our dining room table covered in dozens of wrapped presents to give out to family members and guests. Every year, we hosted a small Hanukkah gathering for our friends who didn’t celebrate it in their homes. Hanukkah is really about the same thing that consistently makes most holidays so special—eating good food and spending time with family and friends. And then eating some more.

JN: What traditions do you and your family enjoy on the holiday?

AS: I want my daughter to be able to enjoy all the holidays the people in her community celebrate. We had our neigh bors over to our house last year for a cozy Hanukkah gathering where we lit candles, ate latkes, and gave out little presents to the kids. It reminded me of how I cele brated the holiday growing up and I hope to continue that tradition every year.

For more information, visit amyshoenthal.com/book.

Counting down to the Festival of Lights

DREAMING OF HANUKKAH

COUNTDOWN FROM TEN TO HAVE SWEET DREAMS FAVORITE CELEBRATIONS.

DREAMING OF

This Hanukkah treat hails from India

Eitan Altshuler shares his version and twists on a dessert recipe not widely used in America for Hanukkah

Beyond the classics, there are more than a few days over Hanukkah to enjoy a variety of fried foods. The Jews of India like to celebrate by making Gulab Jamun, a milk fritter soaked in cardamom/rose syrup.

Unlike latkes, this dish is neither energy- nor time-consuming to make from scratch. For the dough, you want a some what sticky consistency, but after a minute or two, it will absorb more of the liquid and become more manageable.

When frying the dough, don’t look away. If the oil is too hot, the jamun balls will burn in a hot second. With my burner on medium, I check the temperature of my oil with an instant thermometer, keeping it somewhere between 315–330º F, and I sug gest first putting one jamun ball in to test.

Surprisingly, though, the real hero of the dish is the syrup, which I flavor with rose and cardamom, but you could get creative to whatever your liking. If you like the jamun balls on the crispy side, you could just pour a thick syrup, like honey, over them as a glaze, but traditionally, they are soaked in a thin syrup—sometimes for hours, getting a bit soggy, but packed with flavor.

As for toppings, personally, I use dried rose petals, raisins, and ground pistachio, but use your imagination – perhaps coco nut shavings or powdered sugar. There are many ways to make this recipe your own.

Note: This recipe is dairy. In fact, the dough is four times more dry milk powder than flour. I have not made a vegan/ pareve version before, but there are many vegan recipes very different from this one. However, I imagine it might be possible with coconut milk powder, margarine, and coconut milk as substitutes.

GULAB JAMUN Eitan

Altshuler

Cook Time: < 5 minutes

Prep Time: 15 minutes Servings: 4 Calories: 130 per serving

Ingredients

For the fritters

Nonfat dry milk powder— 2 cups Unbleached all-purpose flour—½ cup Baking soda—½ teaspoon Unsalted butter (melted)—6 tablespoons Milk—½ cup

Oil for frying (2–3" deep)

For the glaze

Sugar—2 cups Water—2 cups Cardamom—½ teaspoon ground (about 5 pods) Rose Water—to taste, drizzled on afterward or incorporated in the syrup

Preparation

Start with the glaze:

1. Bring water to simmer and dissolve the sugar.

2. Add the cardamom. Keep the syrup simmering till it thickens a little. Watch it because if it’s too thick, the jamun balls won’t be able to absorb the liquidy syrup.

For the fritters:

3. Mix the dry ingredients. Then, add the melted butter, making it crumbly.

4. Add milk gradually. Lightly knead, and form a smooth dough. Divide into small balls.

5. Fry the dough balls in a deep-sided pan with 2-3” of oil at 315-330F. Fry the first one alone as a test. Watch very carefully. Balls should be amber when done. Transfer to paper towels and let cool.

6. Drown fritters in hot syrup in a separate bowl. Plate to serve, drizzle rose water on top and garnish with whatever you like. Some people keep their jamun balls soaking for hours before serving.

Eitan Altshuler is with the Cardo Café at the Sandler Family Campus where he is cre ating an Israeli menu. He spent more than eight years in Israel.

Eitan Altshuler.

Hanukkah

Hanukkah gifts for local Jewish children and teens

Debbie Mayer

A local Jewish man with two young chil dren came to Jewish Family Service for help with his family and overdue bills. He had lost his full-time job when his work place unexpectedly shut down. He did not have enough funds to pay bills and have anything else left over. JFS used donor funds to pay his overdue electric bill and gave him some groceries. He told the JFS case man ager that he wanted to get his sons winter coats and a few games. Because of the gen erosity of donors at Hanukkah, he received new winter coats, gloves, hats, school sup plies, a bicycle, pants, shoes, books, and games for each of his children. He was very surprised and told JFS, “I did not know that strangers would be so kind. This will truly be a special holiday for our family now. Please tell everyone thank you!”

Now in its 30th year, Jewish Family Service’s annual Chanukah Gift Program began in November. This program pro vides holiday gifts to local Jewish children and teens in financially struggling fami lies. JFS is asking the local community to continue its tradition of helping again this year In addition to the gifts used during Hanukkah, many are distributed through out the year. JFS expects to serve more than 50 different local Jewish children and teens in 2022.

The wish list of what these children and teens need is long. For donors, this is an opportunity to do a mitzvah for chil dren who have no choice in their families’ financial situation. For young donors, this is a way to learn and practice tzedakah, giving to others, as they shop with parents for gifts for other children, knowing that the gifts will make a significant impact.

HOW TO HELP

• Purchase new, unwrapped gifts, both fun and practical for specific children and teens in need... Donors may call JFS at 757-459-4640 for children’s wish lists.

Jewish Family Service's

30 30tth h Annual Annual Chanukah Gift Chanukah Gift Program Program

• Go shopping and buy some extra items for those in need.

• Send JFS gift cards from local department stores, electronics stores, music stores, and grocery stores, to allow families go shopping themselves.

• Send JFS a tax deductible cash dona tion, and JFS will do the shopping.

For Children and Teens How you can help How you can help

All Hanukkah donations must be received by December 5, 2022. Checks should be made payable to Jewish Family Service and sent to JFS, Attn: Maryann Kettyle, 5000 Corporate Woods Drive, Suite 400, Virginia Beach, VA 23462.

Jewish Family Service assists local Jewish families in need at all times of the

Contact JFS starting November 14th to request a Family Wish List Create a Mitzvah Day tradition with your family and friends and go shopping together for gifts Consider a tax deductible monetary donation to JFS, and JFS will do the shopping for the items most needed/requested Purchase gift cards from department stores, grocery stores, etc , and families can shop for themselves Shopping on Amazon? Use AmazonSmile and choose JFS as your charity A portion of your purchase amount will be donated to JFS

year and will keep any surplus donations for use throughout 2022–2023.

All gifts & donations should be brought to JFS by December 5th

Checks payable to Jewish Family Service and mailed to:

Jewish Family Service

For more information, contact Maryann Kettyle, JFS case manager, at 757-459-4640 or MKettyle@jfshamptonroads.org.

Attention: Maryann Kettyle

5000 Corporate Woods Drive, Ste 400 Virginia Beach, VA 23462

Questions? Call Maryann Kettyle 757 459 4640 or mkettyle@jfshamptonroads org

Mazel tov! It’s Hanukkah

Chanukah Trivia Game with ShinShinim at Temple Israel

Sunday, December 18, 2–5 pm,

The emcee says, “For 18 points and the lead, what is the difference between a menorah and a Hanukkiah?”

If you answered “shamash place holder,” your team would take the lead for the Spin This! Chanukah Trivia game at Temple Israel.

Two teams, led by Tidewater’s ShinShinim, will vie for the top spot in the gelt tally. Teams will alternate spin ning the dreidel to determine the trivia category.

For this game, contestants will use four categories for the four Hebrew let ters: Nun (nisht in Yiddish)–Notable Jews; Gimel (Gantz )–Gimme a Beat; Hay (Halb)–Chanukah Historical; Shin (or Pay)–Stuff one should know about Israel at 75. Each

Temple Israel

of the three rounds will offer increasing gelt winning values.

Tidewater’s ShinShinim, Aya Sever and Alma Ben Chorin, are preparing trivia questions and answers, as well as designing a game-show dreidel.

All participants and spectators will enjoy a feast of Israeli-style desserts and non-alcoholic beverages. To assure an accurate count, RSVP by Dec. 12 by call ing Temple Israel, 757-489-4550.

Everyone is encouraged to bring their own hanukkiah and candles for the light ing of the first candle—the start of the festive Hanukkah season. Temple Israel is located at 7255 Granby Street, in the Ward’s Corner section of Norfolk.

Drinks and Dreidels… an evening of adult Hanukkah fun

Tuesday, December 20, 6–9 pm

Ohef Sholom Temple

Enjoy drinks, dreidel tournaments, interfaith trivia, raf fle baskets, live bands, and more! Ugly sweaters are encouraged for this evening of adult Hanukkah fun. Co-sponsored by United Jewish Federation of Tidewater’s YAD, this event is open to the entire Tidewater Jewish community, ages 21-101. $18 per person or $50 per family (childcare included).

For more information or to RSVP, email reservations@ohefsholom.org or call 757-625-4295.

TORAH THOUGHT

A celebration of religious freedom

Hanukkah’s origins in the drama of a small, yet determined people with a large vision standing up to the might of the Hellenistic empire of antiquity is a poignant demonstration and a timeless reminder of Israel’s unique and timely legacy. The heroic Maccabees’ successful revolt of the few against the many in 167 B.C.E. following the dictates of the Syrian Greek King Antiochus IV, that sought to deprive the Jews of practicing their own faith, was a stance of a proud conscience.

The word “Hanukkah” and its festive meaning represent the spirit of dedication to irreplaceable ideals and ideas through the cleansing of Jerusalem’s Temple from pagan defilement. The Talmud’s focus on the miracle of the cruse of oil lasting eight days reflects the rabbis’ aversion to the bloodshed and the Hasmoneans’ intra-political strife associated with the war. Consequently, the Books of the Maccabees were not included in Jewish Biblical canon, but were fortunately pre served through the Catholic one. In truth, the conflict was not only against the enemy from without, but in response to the assimilation from within. The encoun ter with the dominant, flourishing, and tempting Greek culture led, however, to a fruitful philosophical engagement influ encing Rabbinic thought and logic.

Hanukkah’s flickering lights symbol ize the miracle of Jewish survival in spite of overwhelming odds, endowing the human family with an enduring promise for a world transformed and redeemed.

The 2020 Abraham Accords offer renewed appreciation for the potential of peace in a troubled region. Let us con tinue to pray and labor that the ancient promise of prophetic Shalom’s healing, hope, and harmony from the distant hills of Judea will yet be realized.

At stake is the wellbeing of all of God’s children, including the offspring of Isaac and Ishmael whose familial bond cannot be denied. How frustrating and telling that there are Palestinian and other Arab leaders attempting to re-write history with the shameful aid of UNESCO (The

United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization) by removing the incontrovertible Jewish connection, as well as the Christian one, with the Temple Mount, the Western Wall, and thus from the Land of Israel, seeking to extinguish Hanukkah’s authenticity.

Hanukkah’s celebration of religious freedom of choice is vigorously tested and contested in the controversy over Jewish worship at the Western Wall and its southern end (Robinson’s Arch). The Women of the Wall’s long struggle for equal acceptance, as well as the pain ful disappointment of the Reform and Conservative streams over the unfulfilled agreement by the Israeli government for egalitarian worship in the southern section are a cause for concern in the context of Jewish pluralism in Israel, along with Israel-Diaspora relations. As the United States, the State of Israel, and the entire free world fight the blight of ter rorism with misogynistic Iran’s Ayatollahs begrudging the Maccabean victory lead ing the way, much can be learned from the old and new Maccabees’ saga and spirit. The terrorists negate the life-enlighten ing, pluralistic, and inclusive principles of Hanukkah’s bright menorah daring to challenge the darkness of oppression in all its destructive forms.

Putin’s Russia’s barbaric and crim inal assault on Ukraine’s independent sovereignty brings the world to the precipice’s edge. Europe’s move to the political far right and the emerging threats to American democracy with the atten dant rise of antisemitism should alarm all and be ignored only at our own peril. All humans have now become vulnerable Jews. Still, empowered with our people’s indomitable faith and noble example to face a formidable foe—physically, spiritu ally, and psychologically—all will prevail.

Rabbi Dr. Israel Zoberman is founder of Temple Lev Tikvah and is Honorary Senior Rabbi Scholar at Eastern Shore Chapel Episcopal Church. Both are in Virginia Beach.

Mazel tov! It’s Hanukkah

As more Israelis choose pure olive oil to

Cnaan Liphshiz

(JTA) In a supermarket here, Ohad David made a beeline for the most expensive olive oil in the store.

He took three bottles of the award-win ning Midnight Coratina brand, which goes for about $3 per ounce. It has “medium potency, green fruitiness and a green-leaf, grassy bouquet,” according to its description on the website of Ptora, the boutique olive oil factory that makes it.

But David, a 40-year-old insurance agent and father of five, did not buy the oil for its taste.

Like thousands of Orthodox Jewish consumers who buy premium olive oil ahead of Hanukkah, David purchased $160 of the stuff only to burn it—in a menorah.

Observant Israelis increasingly like to use olive oil in their Hanukkah candela bras instead of wax candles because of its significance in the holiday’s story.

Hanukkah, which this year begins on Sunday, December 18, is a celebration of how the Maccabees, after defeating the Greeks, were able to light the menorah in the temple in Jerusalem for eight days with a one-day supply of oil—believed to be of the olive variety.

“Using olive oil for Hanukkah candles is not required by halacha [Jewish law], but in our communities everybody does it,” David says.

Those who follow suit want only 100% pure olive oil to use in their menorahs— and that has become more expensive in Israel over time because of tariffs on imports and the rising demand.

In response, some producers dilute their olive oil with cheaper vegetable oils without disclosing all of the ingre dients and lure consumers in with lower prices. The product can still be consid ered kosher, but it is unacceptable for the observant Jews who want only pure olive oil in their menorahs.

olive oil sector in Israel.

Israeli author ities perform inspections on dozens of brands each year around Hanukkah and often find oil advertised as pure to contain up to 50% canola or soy oil. But despite fines and the naming of offenders online, the phenom enon persists.

For David and others in his commu nity, the solution is to stick to boutique brands, no matter the cost.

“You know there’s no monkey business because to them it’s a matter of pride, so there’s a high level of transparency and trust,” David says. He discovered Ptora while visiting their facilities during a family trip to the northern Negev desert, where the factory and groves are located, about 30 miles southwest of Jerusalem.

Like many boutique olive factories in Israel, Ptora offers tours and tastings to increase their brand recognition.

“The place is magical,” says Hani Ashkenazi, owner of the Jerusalem Olive Oil factory, about the Ptora groves. He is technically a competitor, but the two companies cooperate on some projects to leverage their respective strengths.

found that Israeli olive oil was on average double the price of its European counter parts, costing about 9 euros (roughly $10) in Israel per liter compared to 5 euros throughout much of the European Union. Israel employs a protectionist customs policy meant to level the playing field for local producers.

Both production and demand are rising steadily in Israel, a 2020 report from the ministry shows. About 30,000 tons of olive oil are sold in Israel annually, of which about 12,000 are imported. In comparison, the average annual produc tion between 1990 and 2010 was 5,000 tons. The average for the past decade has been 16,000 tons annually.

(For comparison, Egypt, with a land area 47 times that of Israel’s, produces about 20,000 tons of olive oil annually. Italy produces about 340,000 tons annu ally, and the biggest producer is Spain, providing about 1.7 million tons annually, or half of the world’s supply.)

“[T]he temptation to deceive custom ers is tremendous,” Rabbi Moshe Biegel, an expert on Israel’s kosher certification industry, wrote in a 2020 essay on the

The olive is a national symbol tied closely to the country’s broader agricul tural history—it is even depicted in the official emblem of the State of Israel. In 2019, Israel’s Ministry of Agriculture

In recent years, local producers have profited from growing demand for olive oil generally and a preference for Israeli brands specifically, says Ashkenazi, who runs her olive oil factory in the northern Negev with her partner, Moosh.

“Hanukkah is the Jewish feast of light, but it’s also the feast of the Israeli olive oil,” she says. “Each year we’re seeing an increase in sales especially ahead and during Hanukkah.”

The share of shoppers seeking it as candle fuel is unknown, but increasingly firms are buying packages of premium Israeli olive oil as a holiday gift for their employees, Ashkenazi says.

Business is going so well that Ashkenazi says she doesn’t need the pro tectionist taxes imposed on the imported products.

“Competition is good, the consumer should have broad choice,” she says.

light the Hanukkah menorah, counterfeiters see an opportunity

“Hanukkah is the Jewish feast of light, but it’s also the feast of the Israeli olive oil.”

PJ Library

Hanukkah

Celebrating the reded ication of the Jewish temple after it was taken back from the Greeks in the 2nd century BCE, Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights, is a fun and festive holiday spanning eight days and is best known for menorahs, latkes, and dreidels.

This year, families are invited to turn to PJ Library for a treasure trove of free resources cre ated to ensure Hanukkah 2022 is memorable.

What could be a better Hanukkah gift than to receive a beautifully illustrated book arriving in the mailbox each month? This year, for example, younger readers (ages 3–5) will receive Varda Livney’s delightful picture book Hanukkah at Monica’s, a new and original release from PJ Publishing, the program’s in-house imprint.

PJ Library will also update their resource-packed Hanukkah Hub, which offers child-friendly versions of the Hanukkah story along with numerous unique craft ideas, delectable holiday rec ipes, and printable activities. One new offering is a lively Hanukkah-themed lava lamp activity, where children will test the density of different types of oil while creating calming faux “lava lamps” with recycled materials. This funky craft is a great addition to a night of enjoying foods fried in oil while embracing the Jewish values of curiosity and learning. In addi tion, families can turn to Hub activities and resources such as The Ultimate List of Books about Hanukkah offering up holiday page-turners, as well as 10 Easy (and Kid-Approved) Hanukkah Recipes, or The Easy Hanukkah Guide: Recipes, Gifts and Activities For Each Night. And, on the award-winning podcast front, a new  Afternoons with Mimi episode is just

in time for the holiday. Perfect for chil dren ages 2–5, Kiddo Lights the Hanukkah Candles has wise Grandma Mimi detailing the all-important lighting of the menorah, what it means, and how to do it.

PJ Library also offers guidance this year for interfaith families, including their list of Hanukkah Books for Interfaith Families. Interfaith families who choose to celebrate Hanukkah can turn to Jessica Keith’s help ful blog post  No, We Don’t Celebrate Both

And, for those seeking creative gift-giving options, PJ Library has set up shop at amazon.com/pjlibrary where families can find colorful aprons for cook ing and crafting and books from the PJ Library imprint, PJ Publishing, including recent additions My Hands Make the World, Havdalah Sky, and  Laila Tov, Moon. The PJ Library Amazon store also offers a perpetual Jewish calendar kit, making it simple for families to personalize and track Jewish holidays month after month.

About PJ Library

A free program of the Harold Grinspoon Foundation, PJ Library sends engaging story books and activities that provide fun and easy ways for families to connect with Jewish life. Now in its 17th year, PJ Library’s high-quality books have become everyday favorites of kids

Savory savings for Hanukkah

from birth through age 12, whether the stories serve as first introductions to Jewish values and culture or inspire families to create new Jewish traditions at home. Jewish families of all backgrounds at all levels of Jewish knowledge and observance—including interfaith house holds—may subscribe every child in their home to receive a new, age-appropriate book each month. More than 670,000 books are delivered to families worldwide each month. To find out more, visit pjlibrary.org.

For information about PJ Library in Tidewater, contact Nofar Trem at ntrem@ujft.org.

offers everything for a lively, entertaining, and enriching

Mazel Tov!

SHARE YOUR MILESTONE WITH US

Whether you’re walking down the aisle or gathering with family and friends to celebrate a mitzvah, our downtown Norfolk waterfront venue is the perfect place for your celebration. Our event specialists will work with you closely to transform your vision into a unforgettable celebration, incorporating stunning decor and exquisite cuisine.

Mazel tov! It’s Hanukkah

Elijah Mallenbaum helps build the community

Joel Rubin

The next Bezalel may have been on the bimah at Temple Lev Tikvah delivering his bar mitzvah speech ear lier this year.

Like Moses’ choice to do the “design build” of the Tabernacle in the desert, Elijah Mallenbaum of Virginia Beach is interested in archi tecture. The son of Irene and Joshua Mallenbaum and grandson of Rita and Sidney Mallenbaum devoted his d’var to more than just his career ambi tions. “Affordable housing is a big problem in the United States, and it is getting more challenging every day,” he told the congregation, as he quoted a Harvard study that said the “average American can’t afford to buy a home in 71% of the country.”

So, Elijah pledged a por tion of his Bar Mitzvah gifts to Habitat for Humanity, choosing that non-profit in part because “the application process requires recipients to help build their own homes.”

Habitat for Humanity of South Hampton Roads’ Executive Director Frank Hruska was so moved by Elijah’s gift that he invited him and the rest of his family, plus Rabbi Israel Zoberman, who trained the teen for his big day, to a home under construction in the Deep Creek section of Chesapeake. There, they met Kimberly Waters and one of her two daughters, 20-year-old Ladasha, who were busy painting one of the bedrooms of the house they would soon occupy.

Per Habitat’s requirements, Kimberly has invested her sweat equity, noting she has learned “siding, carpentry, and installing light fixtures” during the con struction process.

As for Elijah, who hopes other bar and Bat Mitzvah students will follow his lead, he now has a deeper understanding of the challenge of affordable housing. The experience has given him even more motivation to use his talents on a host of projects, including, as he said at his bar mitzvah, to someday “design interesting structures, like synagogues.”

After all, there’s always room for another Bezalel

Advance funeral planning

Flexible payment plans

Financing available

Approved by all area Rabbis and Chevrah Kadisha

Family owned and operated since 1917 Food & Romance

Ladasha and Kimberly Waters.

Sidney and Rita Mallenbaum, Joshua, Irene, Valerie, and Elijah Mallenbaum, Rabbi Israel Zoberman, and Frank Hruska, executive director, Habitat for Humanity of South Hampton Roads (Habitat SHR).

Chris Sisler, Vice President, Member of Ohef Sholom Temple, Board member of the Berger-Goldrich Home at Beth Sholom Village, James E. Altmeyer, Jr., President, James E. Altmeyer, Sr., Owner

Employment Opportunity

Marketing and Communications Coordinator

Tidewater Jewish Foundation (TJF) seeks an experienced candidate for the full-time position of Marketing and Communications Coordinator. Under the direction and in collaboration with the President and CEO, the Marketing and Communications Coordinator plays an integral role in the advancement of the Foundation’s mission – to support/promote charitable giving and ensure the future of the Tidewater Jewish community through philanthropic fund development.

The Marketing and Communications Coordinatior is the primary communications staff person for TJF, and is expected to provide the expertise needed to drive the planning and execution of a broad, multi-faceted marketing and outreach strategy.

Requirements: Bachelor's Degree in Communications, Marketing, Public Relations, or other related study path. Minimum 3 years of experience in direct marketing, such as leading strategy development and implementation, writing, and editing copy for print and digital viewership, and assessing effectiveness of marketing and communications efforts.

Salary is competitive and commensurate with experience.

Complete job description at www.jewishva.org/TJF

Submit cover letter, resume, and salary requirements to: resumes@ujft.org Attn: Taffy Hunter, Human Resources director.

Mazel tov! It’s Hanukkah

When the Torah cycle ended, their RussianAmerican romance began

Alix Wall

(JTA)—Tamar Caplan knew Alex Zeldin was the one when, a few months into dating, he asked if she knew why pigeons bob their heads.

“He had looked up the reason,” Caplan recalls. “I thought to myself, ‘I love that this is someone who is always wanting to learn about things he doesn’t know and share them with me.’”

Pigeons don’t actually bob their heads; instead, their heads stop while their bodies catch up—something of a metaphor for Zeldin and Caplan’s early relationship, when their friendship raced ahead of their romantic involvement.

The two first met through a web of mutual friends on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, and Zeldin had even attended a Shabbat dinner at Caplan’s apartment. But when, inspired by a shared conversation about ethical repre sentation in science fiction, he proposed a date, Caplan turned him down.

“I believe I said, ‘I’m not emotionally prepared for that,’” Caplan recalls. She had recently ended a long-term rela tionship, and was dealing with a bout of depression; the timing felt wrong.

Then the pair reconnected at a Simchat Torah event at B’nai Jeshurun, a nondenominational synagogue in their neighborhood that celebrated the com pletion of a year’s Torah reading with a massive celebration.

“We started having these really remarkably in-depth conversations for people who weren’t dating,” Caplan says. Still, she continued to turn down his invitations to go out.

Finally, Zeldin told her he was going to start seeing other people, and he set up a date with someone else. That was enough for Caplan to give him a chance.

“I knew from the beginning” this would be the relationship worth wait ing for, Zeldin says. “That’s why I was remarkably patient.”

In addition to their shared inter est in sci-fi and other cultural issues, Caplan and Zeldin shared a commitment to Jewish life. Both keep kosher and observe Shabbat, and were active in the Upper West Side’s community of young religious Jews.

EOE

The other date never happened. Instead, in June 2017, he and Caplan went on their first date.

Zeldin, 31, had become more obser vant while a student at Rutgers University and developed his religious practice par ticularly while studying in Israel during college. He is now a contributing colum nist for the Forward and a public speaker on Jewish identity and American foreign policy. Caplan, also 31 and an engineer who studied at Columbia University, grew up in the heart of the Conservative movement of Judaism, where her father is a cantor.

As they began dating more seriously, the one sticking point was finding a syn agogue where they both wanted to pray.

Their religious differences began to feel more like preferences and less about an actual difference in values.

Caplan, who grew up in New Jersey, where she was involved in a variety of Conservative Jewish institutions, pre fers to pray in “traditional egalitarian” congregations such as Kehilat Hadar on the Upper West Side, where both men and women lead prayer and there is no mechitzah, or divider, separating the sexes.

But Zeldin finds it hard to follow along at places like Hadar, which assume a high level of Hebrew and ritual fluency. He prefers synagogues like the ones that embraced his family upon their arrival in the United States from Belarus when he was a toddler. Growing up in New Jersey, he attended Orthodox synagogues, many of them led by Chabad rabbis that spe cifically welcomed an influx of Russian Jews whose knowledge of Jewish practice had been weakened by decades under Soviet rule.

“Coming from a Soviet background, many shuls are not intended to be a space for us,” Zeldin says. “Often, when Russian Jews do go [to synagogue], we’re watching other people, and we’re not actively involved with it. It’s not a thing we often feel welcome into.”

Though Zeldin appreciates how com munities such as Hadar include full participation for women while Orthodox synagogues do not, he sees gender

restrictions as just one of several barriers to synagogue inclusivity.

“This is my male privilege, but I don’t think of it in denominational lines,” he says. “I think of it as ‘where are Russian Jews welcome’ kind of lines. And very often, that’s in Orthodox spaces because they do more targeted outreach.”

As they navigated these different cultural vantage points, they began to realize their Jewish values overlapped far more than they diverged. In September 2021, Zeldin asked Caplan’s boss to ask her to do a site visit at B’nai Jeshurun, the synagogue where they first connected. When she arrived, he was waiting for her in the sanctuary, where he proposed.

Their religious differences began to feel more like preferences and less about an actual difference in values. “It is more about logistics than actually finding a middle ground,” Caplan says.

Those logistics helped set the stage for their Aug. 21 wedding at The Marigold, a venue in Somerset, New Jersey. Caplan’s father, Joel Caplan, who is the cantor at Congregation Agudath Israel in Caldwell, New Jersey, participated, but the offi ciating rabbi was Orthodox. The pair selected Rabbi Benjamin Goldschmidt, founder of the Altneu congregation, which serves, among others, a Russianspeaking community in New York City.

CELEBRATE YOUR SPECIAL DAY WITH US

The Virginia Museum of Contemporary Art is an architectural award-winning facility and one of the finest event venues in Virginia Beach.

Special pricing available in March and April 2023 Learn more at virginiamoca.org

2200 Parks Ave, Virginia Beach, VA

Goldschmidt was ideal, Zeldin says, because he could communicate with the Russian-speaking guests, and because as an Orthodox rabbi, his oversight would reliably be respected by religious author ities in Israel. During his time studying in Israel, Zeldin says he saw firsthand how hard it was for some family mem bers and friends from the former Soviet Union to prove their Jewish identity to the Israeli rabbinate, and he wanted to avoid any openings for future doubt.

The wedding reflected the Jewish values they have developed together, and

the communities they hope to include in their lives.

“[The rabbi] spoke in Russian at the tisch and chuppah and explained to my family why we were doing what we were doing, and how wonderful it is for FSU Jews to be able to reclaim our heritage,” Zeldin says. “It brought my family to tears.”

This story is part of JTA’s Mazels series, which profiles unique and noteworthy Jewish life events from births to b’nai mitzvah to weddings and everything in between.

JC Lemon Photography