Jewish News - September 21, 2020 by United Jewish Federation of Tidewater

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We’re in this together It’s times like these that show us what we’re made of. When we must be strong and show up for our children, our parents, our community in ways we never expected. It’s times like these that show us we’re never alone. In how we’re feeling or how we’ll get through. It’s times like these we must remember: families get through hard times, neighbors support through hard times, and hospitals are built for hard times.

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Israel officially signs peace treaties with UAE and Bahrain in White House ceremony Marcy Oster

srael signed peace treaties with the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain at the White House on Tuesday, September 15, with President Donald Trump calling the moment the “dawn of a new Middle East.” The treaties broadly normalize relations between the two Arab countries and Israel, including the opening of embassies in each of the nations for the first time. The UAE and Bahrain join Egypt and Jordan as the only Arab countries to have peace treaties with Israel. Trump signed the agreements along with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel and the foreign ministers of the two Arab nations, Abdullah bin Zayed Al Nahyan of the UAE and Khalid bin Ahmed Al Khalifa of Bahrain. Netanyahu said at the South Lawn ceremony that the agreements “will eventually expand to include other Arab states, and ultimately it can end the Arab-Israeli conflict once and for all,” though he did not specifically mention the Palestinians. Under the UAE agreement, Israel has agreed to pause West Bank annexation efforts until at least 2024. The UAE wants to purchase F-35 advanced fighter jets from the United States, which has a legal obligation to maintain Israel’s qualitative military edge. Israel has ordered 50 of the planes. Netanyahu has denied that he agreed to the sale in order to achieve the agreement and leading Democratic lawmakers have come out against the plan. “Today, we are already witnessing a change at the heart of the Middle East, a change that will send hope around the world,” the UAE’s foreign minister said. As he spoke, rockets were fired from Gaza at southern Israel. Palestinian leaders have expressed outrage at the Arab countries for abandoning the Palestinians’ fight for an independent state. (JTA)

Trump says he has ‘no problem’ selling advanced F-35 fighter jets to UAE

resident Donald Trump said he would have “no problem” selling advanced F-35 fighter jets to the United Arab Emirates and other countries in the Middle East. Speaking to Fox & Friends, Trump also said that as Israel normalizes ties with Arab states, the Palestinians “will ultimately come in, too” and “Iran wants to make a deal.” The president spoke in a telephone interview hours before the signing of the Israel-UAE normalization deal in Washington, D.C. Trump said this about the sale of the F-35s: “They are very wealthy countries for the most part and they would like to buy some fighter jets. And I personally would have no problem with it. “Some people do, they say well maybe they go to war. Selling our stuff is good for our country, in one way…. You sell it today and it’s obsolete tomorrow.… I view it as an asset, not a liability.” Trump also said that selling the fighter jets will create jobs in the United States. Israel’s government opposes the sale of the F-35s to the UAE, citing security reasons. U.S. law mandates that Israel’s qualitative military edge in the region must be preserved, including in any U.S. arms sales to the region. Congress has the right to review and oppose such a sale. Trump said in the interview that “we have a lot of countries that want to get in,” referring to making normalization agreements with Israel. “Instead of dealing with the Palestinians…we took the money away…they’re going to make a deal, you watch. But we started dealing with other people.” He added that the United States is negotiating with some of those countries. “The Palestinians will ultimately come in, too. And we will have peace in the Middle East without being stupid and shooting everybody and killing everybody and having blood all over the sand,” he said. Trump also made the assertion about Iran. (JTA)

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Contents

Published 20 times a year by United Jewish Federation of Tidewater.

Friday, September 25/7 Tishrei Light candles at 6:39 pm

Upfront . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

COVID-19 Emergency Relief Fund. . . . . . . 23

Briefs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

Who Knew?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

“Each call made was not only

Election 2020: Congressional maps . . . . . . . 5

What’s Happening. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

an ‘ask’ for gifts of support,

Super Sunday 2021. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Who Knew?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

but a way to connect the

Friday, October 9/21 Tishrei Light candles at 6:18 pm

President’s Rosh Hashanah cal . . . . . . . . . . . 8

Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

community together during a time

Friday, October 16/28 Tishrei Light candles at 6:08 pm

Study: One in 10 Americans think Jews caused Holocaust . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Obituaries. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

of necessary distancing.”

Special Section: High Holidays. . . . . . . . . . 11

Saying Goodbye. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

Friday, October 2/14 Tishrei Light candles at 6:28 pm

Friday, October 23/5 Cheshvan Light candles at 5:59 pm

—page 6

Friday, October 30/12 Cheshvan Light candles at 5:51 pm

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BRIEFS Major Jerusalem hospital says it won’t admit any more coronavirus patients as cases skyrocket in Israel As the daily number of diagnosed coronavirus cases in Israel continued at record levels, a major hospital in Jerusalem said it would not admit more COVID-19 patients. Shaare Zedek Medical Center has the largest number of corona patients in critical condition, many on respirators. Its director-general, Ofer Marin, told the Israeli public broadcaster Kan that he told the Magen David Adom emergency services not to bring any more coronavirus patients to Shaare Zedek. Earlier, the head of Western Galilee Hospital in Nahariya, in northern Israel, said he would not accept any more coronavirus patients because of overcrowding in the coronavirus wards and intensive care units. The daily number of diagnosed coronavirus cases rose to nearly 5,000 on Monday, September 14, with a positive test rate of 10.8 percent. Israel has seen a total of 1,141 deaths from the pandemic. Israel implemented a near-total lockdown on Friday, September 18, two hours before the Rosh Hashanah holiday, that will run for at least three weeks, until after the Sukkot holiday in early October. (JTA) Jerusalem’s Great Synagogue: Closed for High Holidays for the first time Jerusalem’s Great Synagogue will be closed during the High Holidays for the first time since it opened more than 60 years ago. In a statement, the synagogue cited the risk of worshipers passing the coronavirus to others. “The deciding consideration was the personal safety of every one of you,” the statement said. “Even if we stand by these [lockdown rules], there is still a risk. One person makes a mistake; one person is positive [for the coronavirus] and did not know; one person who can infect another. The Great Synagogue wants to prevent this risk [from affecting] every one of you.” The Orthodox synagogue, which first opened for prayer in 1958, seats 850 men and 550 women. The congregation was founded in 1958

within the Heichal Shlomo building, which was at the time the seat of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel. As the number of worshippers grew, a larger synagogue was built on the property next to Heichal Shlomo, in the style of the Temple in Jerusalem, and dedicated in 1982. Chief Rabbis, Israeli presidents, Prime Ministers, Knesset members and judges have attended services at the synagogue. Tourists frequently visit on Friday night to hear the Orthodox synagogue’s cantor and choir. (JTA)

Austria to triple its spending on Jewish community security Austria’s government has agreed to cover all the security costs of its Jewish community. The federal funding for security measures will be $4.7 million annually—more than the $4.3 million that the Jewish Community in Vienna, the organization representing local Jews, spends each year on security, the Judische Allgemeine paper in Germany reported. The funding triples what the government had given previously, according to the report. “The law enables a consolidation of the religious community, it secures the existence and thus the diverse services of the Jewish Community in Vienna as we currently know it,” that organization’s president, Oskar Deutsch, wrote in a statement. Last month, Elie Rosen, the leader of the Jewish community of the Austrian city of Graz, was assaulted in what he and officials said was an anti-Semitic attack by a perpetrator who hates Israel. The incident was widely covered in the media in Austria and beyond. (JTA) Sacha Baron Cohen: Instagram freeze to protest Facebook’s failure to fight hate Actor and comedian Sacha Baron Cohen said he will not post to his Instagram account last week in protest of parent company Facebook’s failure to fight hate. Cohen made the announcement in support of the Week of Action organized by the Stop Hate for Profit campaign, which was spearheaded over the summer by the Anti-Defamation League, NAACP and several other civil rights groups. The groups are protesting Facebook’s unwillingness

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to police hate speech or monitor posts for misinformation. The same groups called for a pause in advertising on Facebook during the month of July. The tweet posted Monday, Sept. 14 by Cohen included a photo of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg wearing whiteface. The message reads: “The only thing more terrifying than Mark Zuckerberg surfing in whiteface…is the white supremacy and lies Facebook spreads every day. This Weds Sept 16 I’m freezing my Instagram to tell Mark to #StopHateForProfit. Who’s in?!” Cohen has been a public critic of Facebook, which he called “the greatest propaganda machine in history” last November in a speech after receiving an international leadership award from the ADL. He added that “if Facebook were around in the 1930s, it would have allowed Hitler to post 30-second ads on his ‘solution’ to the ‘Jewish problem.’” (JTA)

Spielberg? Streisand? Gadot? You can vote for the next Genesis Prize winner. What do Elana Kagan, Sacha Baron Cohen, Barbra Streisand, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Gal Gadot, Marc Benioff, and Steven Spielberg have in common? Yes, they are all Jewish. And they all appear on the shortlist of the selection committee of the Genesis Prize to be this year’s laureate. This is the first time that the selection committee has released a list of potential winners, and the first time that the global Jewish community has been invited to weigh in on the choice of a winner. Voting is open now on the Genesis Prize website. Some 4,000 people were nominated by more than 45,000 people worldwide. The recipient of the 2021 Genesis Prize will receive a $1 million prize. Previous winners have donated their prize money to support philanthropic causes such as improving the lives of individuals with special needs, advancing women’s equality and supporting refugees. The Genesis Prize, known as the “Jewish Nobel,” was started in 2013 and is financed through a permanent $100 million endowment. The annual award honors “extraordinary individuals for their

outstanding professional achievement, contribution to humanity and commitment to Jewish values.” Previous winners include New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg and musician Itzhak Perlman. U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg received a lifetime achievement award in 2018. Last year’s laureate was Natan Sharansky, a former Soviet dissident and former head of the Jewish Agency. (JTA)

Recently discovered prayer by renowned 13th-century Talmudist known as the Ramban goes online A recently discovered poetic prayer written by the Ramban, or Nachmanides, the 13th-century Spanish rabbi and renowned author of commentaries on the Bible and the Talmud, has been translated into English and is now available on the website of the National Library of Israel. The Ramban, also a leading kabbalist, was known by the initials in his name, Rabbi Moshe son of Nachman. He was born in Catalonia, but was forced to leave at the age of 70 after being ordered to defend his faith against Pablo Christiani, a Jewish convert to Christianity. Eventually he moved to Jerusalem, where he is credited with reestablishing Jewish life and settlement in the city. The prayer falls in the category of bakashot, or supplications, which was a common form among Iberian Jews of the period. It was published in Hebrew for the first time last year, appearing in Idan Perez’s Sidur Catalunya, the first printed prayer book of the Catalonian liturgy and ritual used by the Ramban and the once-thriving Jewish communities of Catalonia, Valencia and Majorca, which were ultimately decimated by the Spanish Inquisition and Expulsion over 500 years ago. It was found in a manuscript written just after the Expulsion that was likely used by Catalonian exiles living in Provence. It is now held in Rome’s Casanatense Library. The manuscript can be seen online as part of Ktiv, the National Library of Israelled initiative to open digital access to all of the world’s Hebrew manuscripts. (JTA)

Election 2020 This map shows the 20 congressional districts with the most Jews Ben Sales

(JTA)—About one-third of American Jews live in just 20 of the country’s congressional districts. Nearly half of those districts are in New York, and all but one of them is represented by a Democrat. Meanwhile, the district with the most Jews in the country is also the site of Mara-Lago, President Donald Trump’s Florida estate. Those are among the findings from a recent study analyzing Jewish voting patterns. Key findings from the study, which was conducted by the Jewish Electorate Institute and the Steinhardt Social Research Institute at Brandeis University, were published online Aug. 25. The study, like previous others, found that Jewish voters are more Democratic and politically liberal than the country at large. It also found, similar to earlier research, that Jewish voters tend to be older than average. What’s new here is that the researchers were able to identify not only how Jews vote but where they cast their ballots. The study found that the majority of Jewish adults live in four states—New York, California, Florida, and New Jersey. “In all of the so-called battleground states, not only Florida but places like Pennsylvania and Ohio and Michigan, those are states where if something similar to 2016 happens in 2020, Jews are large enough in number in those states where they could make a difference,” says Leonard Saxe, director of the Steinhardt Social Research Institute. Approximately one-third of Jewish adults, about 1.8 million, are concentrated in just 20 congressional districts among the 435 across the United States. The district with the most Jewish voters, Florida’s 21st, is drawing a lot of attention this year for its race between two Jewish candidates, the Democratic incumbent Rep. Lois Frankel and Laura Loomer, an anti-Islam provocateur who won the Republican nomination and Trump’s endorsement. Loomer released an ad this week that used Holocaust imagery and

Yiddish to attack Frankel as an opponent of Jewish interests. The district covers southeastern Florida cities such as Palm Beach, Boynton Beach and Delray Beach, and includes 152,000 Jewish adults, according to the study. In total, the district has about 524,000 registered voters. According to the study, the district is 24.3% Jewish, and more than half of those Jewish adults are older than 65. The two adjacent districts down the South Florida coast, the 22nd and 23rd, also crack the top 20 for Jewish voters. Both are also represented by Jewish Democrats: Reps. Ted Deutch and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, respectively. Most of the other districts in the Jewish top 20 are in New York and New Jersey, including seven in New York City and two on suburban Long Island. The second-largest Jewish district overall, New York’s 10th on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, has 151,000 Jewish adults and is represented by longtime congressman Jerry Nadler, a Jewish Democrat. The other New York City districts cover large swaths of Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island. The lone district on the list represented by a Republican, Rep. Chris Smith, is New Jersey’s 4th, which includes the heavily Orthodox city of Lakewood. That district is about 10% Jewish, with 51,000 Jewish adults, according to the study. The rest of the top 20 districts are in Los Angeles County and the suburbs of Chicago, Philadelphia, Baltimore and Boston. Overall, eight of the top 20 Jewish districts are represented by Jews. Saxe says the list of the most Jewish districts is a key data point ahead of the 2020 census, which will likely lead to congressional redistricting. “The concentration of Jews and whether that concentration is allowed to continue, whether it’s not, will be an important issue,” he says. “In those districts where Jews are 10% or more of the population, they’re also a very significant force in choosing members of Congress.”

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Bill’s Legacy Lives Forever Norfolk business owner Bill Goldback valued good health and great arts performances.

Before he died in 2007, Bill arranged for a Hampton Roads Community Foundation bequest to provide grants for performing arts and medicine in Hampton Roads. Goldback grants are helping Chesapeake Care, Hampton Roads Community Health Center, Todd Rosenlieb Dance and Young Audiences of Virginia do excellent work. Thanks to Bill’s generosity he will forever help people in his home region. Connect your passions to the future by ordering a free bequest guide. Learn how easy it is to leave a gift for charity. Adding Charity to Your W or IRA ill

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Super Sunday 2021—A Different Kind of Day Amy Zelenka, UJFT campaign director

n a “normal” year, Super Sunday—a much beloved tradition—is simply one part of the Tidewater Jewish community’s fundraising lifecycle. In a critical fundraising year, with rising needs and a true imperative to meet them with immediacy, Super Sunday 2021 became a different kind of day. Tidewater’s Super Sunday has traditionally heralded the closing of the community campaign. And until quite recently, it was held each year in late-January or early-February—a time when the campaign is well past its half-way mark. This year’s Super Sunday took on a new relevance, coming as it did at the beginning of the campaign. Its goal this year was not only to close donor gifts, but to engage in conversation with these donors and to ask them: “How are you doing during this strange time we’re living in? How have you been during these past months of isolation?” And, to listen to their responses with a critical ear. This Super Sunday, for all its quirks and differences, provided a unique opportunity to take care of community members at a time when they may have just needed that caring voice on the other end of the phone. By the numbers: More than 60 volunteer callers participated in Super Sunday 2021. • 20 made calls from the back lawn of the Sandler Family Campus. • 4 small calling groups participated from Ohef Sholom Temple and from several host homes. • And for the first time ever, about 30

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volunteer callers participated from their own homes. Each call made was not only an “ask” for gifts of support, but a way to connect the community together during a time of necessary distancing. The opportunity to ask our donors how they are doing speaks to our collective desire to fulfill the mandate of taking care of one another. Kol Yisroel Aravim Zeh b’Zeh—All Jews are responsible for one another. And it ties in with our reasons for fund-

Super Sunday 2021— this strange hybrid of live and virtual calling—received 315 pledges worth more than $280,000.

raising each year—to be able to take care of one another in good times and in difficult times—through the services and programs of the agencies that are funded through the community campaign run by the United Jewish Federation of Tidewater. At the end of the day (and with the return-calls from donors who’d received messages on their voicemails throughout Super Sunday), Super Sunday 2021—this strange hybrid of live and virtual calling—received 315 pledges worth more than $280,000. Return calls continue to come in at the time of printing and gifts continue to be made online at jewishva.org. The Federation’s Facebook page

Laura Gross, Ellen Rosenblum, and Lawrence Steingold.

Naomi Sedek and Rabbi Aron Slone.

asked donors to keep making pledges throughout the week, because all pledges made during the week of Sept. 14–19) would be counted in the Super Sunday totals. 2021 could very well set a record for most gifts and most dollars raised during a UJFT Super Sunday. What a joyful accomplishment this would be in a year which has seen perhaps less than its fair share of joy! This year’s campaign tagline is “Today. Tomorrow. Together.” Never have these words meant more than they do right now. All efforts today will determine what kind of a Jewish community is shared tomorrow. “Together, we will get through these difficult days and build and strengthen the Jewish community, ensuring a bright future for us, for our children, and for generations to come.”

super sunday

Training for Super Sunday volunteers at the Sandler Family Campus. Kelly Burroughs. Naomi Sedek, Betty Ann Levin, Laura Gross, and Jody and Alan Wagner.

Super Sunday cards get organized. Stephanie Peck, Marcia Samuels, Ellen Rosenblum, Anne Kramer, and Kelly Burroughs.

Stacey Neuman, Rachel Shames, and Jennifer Groves calling from home of Stacey Neuman.

David Cardon.

Sara Jo Rubin calls from the home of Shikma and Danny Rubin with assistance from grandson, Shai Rubin.

Best wishes a for happy, healthy and sweet New Year with hopes for better days ahead and the opportunity to embrace one another once again in the spirit of community and Am Yisrol Chai.

Barb Gelb at Ohef Sholom Temple.

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National On Rosh Hashanah call, Trump tells American Jews ‘We love your country’ and asks for their vote Ron Kampeas

WASHINGTON ( JTA)—President Donald Trump spent much of his 20-minute call with American Jewish leaders making the case for more American Jews to vote for him. He closed by repeating a line that has raised their eyebrows before. “We really appreciate you,” Trump said as he signed off the call, an annual pre-Rosh Hashanah presidential tradition. “We love your country also.” Earlier, introducing his Jewish sonin-law, Jared Kushner, who brokered the historic deals with the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain that were signed Tuesday, September 15 at the White House, Trump called him “an unbelievable leader for Israel.” The comments echoed others he has made in the past that suggest that American Jews think of themselves as Israelis, including at a White House Hanukkah party two years ago. Trump’s comments on the call also blurred the line between White House events and campaigning. Until his presidency, campaign appeals have been seen as unethical, if not illegal. He pressed listeners to campaign for him and suggested that Israel would suffer if he is not reelected this fall. “I have to say this, whatever you can do in terms of Nov. 3 is going to be very important because if we don’t win, Israel is in big trouble,” Trump said. The president listed what the United States was doing for Israel, saying it paid $4.2 billion in annual assistance to the country. The figure is $3.8 billion and stems from a deal brokered by Trump’s predecessor, Barack Obama. “We’re in the Middle East because of Israel,” Trump said, a position at odds with the myriad interests, including the free flow of oil, that the United States has in the region. Arthur Stark, the chairman of the

Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations, asked about Trump’s plans to assist Israel in confronting actors such as Iran and Turkey who back terrorist groups like Hamas and Hezbollah. Trump’s reply, again: Vote for Republicans. “This is really a time that’s very important in the life of Israel and the safety of Israel. And we will do a great job,” he said. “If the other side gets in all bets are off. I think it’ll be a whole different story. I think it’ll be exactly the opposite.” Trump also noted that he exited the Iran nuclear deal, which Israel reviled, and said Obama, who brokered the 2015 sanctions relief for nuclear rollback deal, humiliated Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “I remember Bibi coming over and begging him, begging him to a point of humiliation that please don’t do the Iran deal,” Trump said. “He did it. I broke it, but he did it. And yet the Democrats get 75% sort of like habit. It’s automatic. I hope you can do better with that. I hope you can explain to people what’s going on.” Jews traditionally vote in large numbers for the Democratic presidential nominee. A poll in mid-September showed Joe Biden getting 67% of the vote and Trump 30%. But Jewish voters in swing states, particularly Florida, could swing what may be a close election, and Trump signaled that he was mystified about why he would not command a larger share of the Jewish vote. “Which really amazes me, and I have to tell you, because I saw a poll that in the last election, I got 25% of the Jewish vote and I said here I have a son-in-law and a daughter who are Jewish, I have beautiful grandchildren that are Jewish. I have all of these incredible achievements,” Trump said. “I’m amazed that it seems to be almost automatically a Democrat.”

National Study: More than one in 10 Americans under 40 thinks Jews caused the Holocaust Ben Sales

(JTA)—More than one in 10 American adults under 40 believes that Jews caused the Holocaust. That’s one finding from a survey published Wednesday, Sept. 16 trying to gauge Holocaust knowledge among millennials and Generation Z, a cohort ranging in age from 18 to 39. The survey found that most respondents had heard of the Holocaust and 37% knew that 6 million Jews died. Slightly more than half could name at least one concentration camp or ghetto. But 11% of the respondents believed the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust, 15% said they thought the Holocaust was a myth or has been exaggerated, and 20% said people talk about it too much. Nearly half said they had seen Holocaust denial online. The survey of 1,000 respondents across all 50 states was organized by the Claims Conference, which coordinates restitution and reparations payments for Holocaust survivors and sponsors Holocaust education programs. It was conducted in February and March. According to the poll, there was little correlation between state Holocaust education requirements and Holocaust knowledge. None of the 10 states with the highest knowledge levels required Holocaust education in high schools, while three states in the bottom 10— Delaware, New York and Florida—did mandate it. (The knowledge levels, as defined by the survey, were based on whether respondents had heard of the Holocaust, knew 6 million Jews were killed and could name a concentration camp or ghetto.) Holocaust knowledge was particularly low in New York, despite the state having the largest population of Jews in the country. Most respondents there could not name a single Nazi camp or ghetto, and 28% said they believed the Holocaust was a myth or has been exaggerated. Wisconsin had the highest knowledge score at 44%, while Arkansas had the

lowest at 17%. “Not only was their overall lack of Holocaust knowledge troubling, but combined with the number of Millennials and Gen Z who have seen Holocaust denial on social media, it is clear that we must fight this distortion of history and do all we can to ensure that the social media giants stop allowing this harmful content on their platforms,” Greg Schneider, the executive vice president of the Claims Conference, says. “Survivors lost their families, friends, homes and communities; we cannot deny their history.” The survey had a national margin of error of 3% and approximately 7% for individual states. It found that more than three-quarters of respondents had definitely heard of the Holocaust and another 10% said they probably had. Among those, more than 70% knew that Adolf Hitler was responsible for the genocide and 86% knew that the Jews were its primary victims. Lower numbers of respondents were aware of other facts about the Holocaust. Among those who had heard of the Holocaust, more than a third wrongly believed that 2 million Jews or fewer were killed, while nearly half (48%) could not name any concentration camps or ghettos. Asked to describe Auschwitz, the largest Nazi concentration camp, 64% described it correctly. The survey also found that approximately half the respondents had seen anti-Semitism and Holocaust denial online. Some 49% had seen Holocaust denial or distortion online, with 10% saying they had seen it often. A total of 56% reported seeing Nazi symbols on social media, in their communities or both. Nearly 60% said they believed something like the Holocaust could happen today. “The indicators are of concern, and that relates to ongoing concerns we have that education is in decline and social media use of hate and anti-Semitism is on the rise,” says Gretchen Skidmore, director of education initiatives at the

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U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C., and a member of the task force that oversaw the survey. “The work is very important, and Holocaust education is very important to counter these trends.” Respondents agreed that Holocaust education is important, with 64% believing it should be compulsory in school. Currently, 15 states require Holocaust education in high school, according to the Holocaust museum. A bill providing $10 million to the museum to enhance Holocaust education was signed into law

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this year. Skidmore says that in addition to mandating Holocaust education, states must ensure that teachers have proper training to teach the subject matter. “There are some conditions that need to be present for Holocaust education to be successful,” Skidmore says. “Holocaust education can be very effective when these conditions are met, when teachers are trained, when they feel confident to bring this complex history into their classrooms.”

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Jewish Family Service

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Without traditional High Holiday Food Drives, fear of fewer food donations rises

Polish auction house selling possessions of Holocaust survivor behind ‘The Pianist’ story

n past years, many area temples and synagogues have supported the Jewish Family Service food pantries through their High Holiday food drives. But this year, with most buildings closed, there will not be bins or trucks available to collect food on Yom Kippur. JFS counts on these High Holiday food drives to stock the pantries’ shelves. With COVID-19, the number of people in Tidewater struggling to put food on their table is rising. This year the need for food is even greater with numerous local children not physically in school to receive their subsidized breakfasts or

lunches and families continuing to deal with financial struggles due to unemployment or reduced work hours. This year, consider dropping off non-perishable foods in the box in front of the Sandler Family Campus. Frozen foods can be left at the Campus security desk. The box accepts food 24/7! The JFS food pantries are always in need of boxes of cereal, canned fruits, pasta and pasta sauce, canned proteins, soups, snack foods, and condiments. Don’t let this year be different—continue to support the JFS food pantries.

of Machines suite that Szpilman Polish auction house has composed in 1933, which is announced the sale of 51 expected to bring $3,000 to objects that belonged to the $5,000. Holocaust survivor whose life The items went on a presale story served as the basis for display at the auction house this the 2002 film The Pianist. month. Desa Unicum will start Roman Polanski’s 2002 selling Władysław Szpilman’s film about Szpilman, who was objects, including bowties, Jewish and whose music helped an antique metronome and him survive the Holocaust, a death mask of the Polish Władysław Szpilman. won three Academy Awards. composer Fryderyk Chopin, Szpilman died in 2000. on Sept. 22, the Warsaw-based firm said He had lived through the carpet on its website. Szpilman was one of bombing of the Polish capital, the Jewish Poland’s foremost composers and concert ghetto, forced labor and random execupianists. tions while witnessing the ghetto uprising The priciest item is a Steinway piano, of 1943 and the Polish uprising one year which is estimated to fetch as much as later. (JTA) $70,000. Next is a score from the Life

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High Holidays Dear Readers,

n the most recent issue of Jewish News, we wrote about area synagogues preparing for this most unusual High Holiday season. As we go to press, much of those con-

gregations’ work is complete with boxes and bags of honey and cakes and memorial books and prayer books delivered into the hands of their congregants. The preparation

R I S T O R A N T E I N S P I R E D

B Y

I T A LY

has been enormous and the anticipation palatable. Positive and appreciative notes of thanks have been shared throughout Jewish Tidewater as the outreach is helping to maintain connections. Now, as we move away from Rosh Hashanah, our focus shifts to Yom Kippur. Among the various articles in this High Holiday section is one about staying healthy while fasting, while another article offers an easy-to-prepare chicken recipe before the fast. What would a holiday section be without food? One afternoon earlier this month, Facebook seemed to be flooded with a clip of a cute little boy singing Avinu Malkeinu. It was an amazing interpretation of the plaintive poem sung during the High Holidays. I listened, was moved, and impressed, but then I scrolled on, honestly not wondering much about the child or where he was from or about the fact that he was singing in English. Fortunately, it turns out that other people were intrigued and on page 14, we share an interview with six-year-old Bibi’s mom. It’s a surprising story in many ways. Also, within these pages, our advertisers provide some of the best options for places

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High Holidays The Avinu Malkeinu kid isn’t Amar’e Stoudemire’s son. But he does have a message for the High Holidays. Take it from his mom. Philissa Cramer

(JTA)—Nina Shapiro didn’t intend for the video of her son’s singing to go viral. The Perth, Australia, mother of two describes herself as “paranoid about my kids being on social media.” But after the minute-long clip of 6-yearold Bibi belting an impassioned version of Avinu Malkeinu, the plaintive poem sung on Yom Kippur, mysteriously landed on Twitter and Facebook, Shapiro is wondering whether she might want to take another approach. “I’m totally overwhelmed by the impact it’s had,” Shapiro told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency from her home in Western Australia. “It wasn’t built with an intention to be a performance.”

Exactly how the video got from a family text chain to thousands of Jewish viewers is unclear, but there’s no question that Bibi’s performance of a song he learned at his school was resonating with many on the eve of the High Holidays. “Someone please give me the URL to this kid’s Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur livestream,” tweeted Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg to her 115,000 followers. “Or maybe I’ll just spend the days watching this over and over again.” Because nothing on the internet is simple, the video spurred a rumor, stated with authority by multiple people on social media, that the video starred a son of Amar’e Stoudemire, the basketball player and recent convert to Judaism. “If we saw a cute video of a white kid singing Avinu

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Malkeinu, would we automatically jump to the conclusion that he was a famous Jew’s kid?” tweeted Tema Smith, who writes frequently about Black Jews within the Jewish community. “It feels like the digital equivalent of the experience so many Black Jews describe when stepping into communal spaces, being asked to legitimize their right to the space.” Others who amplified the video did know who Bibi was, even though he is not identified in it. They included people associated with Sinai Academy, the school in Cape Town, South Africa, that he attended before the family moved to Australia two years ago. Shapiro credited both that school and the one he attends in Perth, Carmel School, with developing her son’s love for Judaism. “I see how he comes back singing happily and with his own free will,” she says. “It hasn’t been a dictatorial kind of, ‘You will learn this because you have to.’ They teach with love. That’s been passed on to him and that’s what he gives back.” We spoke to Shapiro—perhaps now to be known forever as Bibi’s mom—about the video; her take on the rumors; and what she hopes comes next for her son. First up, a new video of another Rosh Hashanah song. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. JTA: What’s the story behind the video and what do you make of how it has been received? Shapiro: I took the video in our dining room and sent it to a few family members. I don’t believe in exposing my children on social media. But obviously somewhere along the line, it wound up there. I don’t know how—none of the big Facebook posters are anybody I’ve ever heard of or sent it to. It’s not something I would have chosen but it’s happened and the positive responses have just been overwhelming. I sent it to a close friend and said I’m so upset that this happened,

Bibi Shapiro

and she said, “But Hashem obviously wanted this message to go out in this way.” I really am trying to take it from this perspective. JTA: This is a Yom Kippur song, not exactly a happy song. Why do you think people are saying the video made them happy? Shapiro: He is such a passionate little boy. He’s been singing all his life, all the time, from when he was a baby. When he heard an advert on TV he would copy it. He’s very sensitive and very passionate and I think it comes across. I realize there were a few mistakes. If I had been planning to share I would have made sure it was perfect before I posted worldwide—but this shows things don’t have to be perfect to have real impact and that also made me happy. His purity and his innocence and his passion are touching. He knows nothing about this. I’ve made copies of some of the comments

High Holidays for when he’s older but not for now. He doesn’t know what Facebook is or Twitter, Instagram. He knows that I am happy and other people are happy when he sings and that’s all that matters. JTA: What comments stuck out to you? Shapiro: I saw someone say, “This is a future hazzan.” And that’s really meaningful to me. When I knew that I was having a boy, one of the first things that went through my mind was I would so love him to be on the bimah at shul, not even knowing of his musicality. I also saw someone say that this was more meaningful in the preparation for the chagim [holidays] than any other rabbinic text she had read. And for me—and a few people have commented on it—Avinu Malkeinu, I’ve never heard the English words for it. It certainly impacted me, and if as a child I had learned it this way, it would have been so meaningful. I’m so glad my child gets to understand what he’s singing. People have said it’s made them happy and given them hope and even though I don’t understand it, the fact that it has done that to people especially at this time in the world, I’m so grateful for it. JTA: One thing that struck me is that during this pandemic, even for people who are going to synagogue, singing isn’t happening and children aren’t present. To hear a child sing is sort of unusual right now. Shapiro: We’re very lucky in Perth—it’s one of the very few places in the world that COVID hasn’t impacted. We’re still able to go to shul with restrictions. So if he’s able to provide that for people, then what an incredible blessing and miracle. I’m awed that my little boy could do that for people. JTA: Your son is Black, and some of the comments I saw mentioned that. There were also rumors that the video was of a son of Amar’e Stoudemire. What role do you think race played in the video’s reception? Shapiro: If I had seen him and not

known him, I would wonder about the color issue, too. There was one comment that I saw, where someone said, “He doesn’t look Jewish but he sounds it. It just shows you that you don’t have to look Jewish to be Jewish.” Somebody else commented to say, don’t be so stereotypical. Bibi is adopted—we adopted each other when he was a baby. He has been raised Jewish, and it’s all he knows. Halachically [according to Jewish law] he is a Jew. I’ve come to realize he has a Jewish neshama [soul] even though entering the world he was not born into a Jewish family. Perth is a very small Jewish community, with one school and no kosher restaurants. And there are very few non-whites day-to-day if you’re in a certain area. A racially diverse Jewish community it is not at all, but from the first moment, I have never felt anything but accepted and included and

welcomed across the board. It’s not to say it’s not ever going to be hard, but it hasn’t been our experience. When I saw that people were saying he was Amar’e’s son, initially I was angry. But it wasn’t so much about racial stereotyping. I googled the family, and they do look similar. I was upset that somebody had the audacity to post that without checking the facts. It would be interesting to know if [Stoudemire’s son] did sing. I would love for Bibi to have more Jewish notwhite role models. There’s a rapper who came to South Africa, Nissim Black. The concert was only for adults but I would have loved to have taken him to that. JTA: So will your son’s many new fans get to see more from him? Shapiro: Part of me is so tempted in some ways, now that the whole thing has been started. There’s unlikely to be a

I also saw someone say that this was more meaningful in the preparation for the chagim [holidays] than any other rabbinic text she had read. Youtube channel, but Zeesy Deren [the principal of the South Africa school], her brother is Choni G, a famous South African religious singer. She said he mentioned to her that he would love to work with Bibi, and I would love that. Bibi’s biggest inspiration is the music of Jewish religious boys choirs, and my absolute dream is for him to be part of one of those groups. I would love that and he would love that.

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High Holidays In a difficult time, welcome the new year with this easy chicken recipe means chicken. Chicken is celebratory. It is also available, relatively inexpensive, easy to cook and doesn’t take hours. Best of all, chicken is mild, so it takes on all sorts of flavors from what you cook it with and how you season it. Is it any wonder that this lovable bird has been an enduring classic for Shabbat? This chicken recipe includes leeks and dates, two of the symbolic ingredients for the New Year. I’ll serve it with its savory pan juices over egg noodles and a green vegetable on the side. Shanah tova. Be well and stay safe.

Ronnie Fein

(JTA)—The High Holidays won’t be usual this year. Like many of you, my family won’t be getting together, so we’ll be setting the table for two, not 11. It’s disappointing because although we managed on Passover with a Zoom Seder, we figured all would be well by the High Holidays. But all isn’t well. It’s been difficult to shop, what with waiting in line to get in and having to wear a mask and push a shopping cart that stinks of Lysol. Or text with my Instacart shopper to pick out the right bananas. I know I’m not the only person who can’t find all the grocery items I want (there isn’t a whole brisket to be had). And the expense! Oy! But then I think about what makes the holidays so extraordinary. About hearing the shofar blast (virtually from our synagogue), how it thrills us and calls us to think about the past year and consider our future. I’m

grateful the holiday has come. I look forward to another year ahead. During the High Holidays we celebrate new beginnings, we pray for good health, joy and prosperity. We eat as best we can. For us this year, eating best

16 | Jewish News | High Holidays | September 21, 2020 | jewishnewsva.org

Ronnie Fein is a cookbook author, food writer and cooking teacher in Stamford, Connecticut. She is the author of The Modern Kosher Kitchen and Hip Kosher. Visit her food blog, Kitchen Vignettes, at www.ronniefein.com, friend on Facebook at RonnieVailFein, Twitter at @RonnieVFein, Instagram at RonnieVFein.

High Holidays BRAISED CHICKEN WITH DATES Ingredients: 1 cut up broiler-fryer chicken 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 leek, chopped (½–¾ cup chopped, or use one medium onion) 1 large clove garlic, chopped 2 teaspoons tightly packed chopped fresh ginger 2 teaspoons tightly packed grated fresh orange peel ¼ teaspoon Aleppo pepper (or use 2 pinches cayenne pepper) ¹/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg Salt to taste ½ cup chicken stock ½ cup orange juice 6–8 whole pitted dates, preferably medjool, cut in half Chopped chives or parsley for garnish

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Directions: 1. Rinse and dry the chicken and set aside. Heat the olive oil in a large saute pan over medium heat. Cook the chicken a few pieces at a time until they are lightly browned, about 8 minutes. 2. Remove the chicken to a dish and set aside. Add the leek, garlic, ginger and orange peel to the pan and cook, stirring constantly, for about 1 minute. Return the chicken to the pan and spoon the leek mixture on top. Sprinkle with the cayenne and nutmeg. Sprinkle with salt if desired. 3. Pour in the chicken stock and orange juice. Stir the liquid, cover the pan and turn the heat to low-medium. Cook for 15 minutes. Add the dates and cook for another 10-15 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. 4. Place the chicken and dates in a serving dish. Boil the pan fluids over high heat for a minute or 2 to thicken the sauce slightly. Pour the sauce over the chicken and dates. Sprinkle with chopped chives or parsley. Makes 4 servings.

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18 | Jewish News | High Holidays | September 21, 2020 | jewishnewsva.org

High Holidays Four new children’s books to brighten up the Jewish New Year Penny Schwartz

BOSTON (JTA)—Sparkling stars and the light of the full harvest moon comfort a young boy and his older sister as they fall asleep in their family sukkah. That’s a scene in Night Lights, an endearing new illustrated children’s book by Barbara Diamond Goldin, one of the country’s most highly acclaimed Jewish children’s book authors. It’s one of four new engaging books for kids to usher in the Jewish New Year at a time when holiday traditions are being upended due to the coronavirus pandemic. Having to deal with quarantine and perhaps school at home, families can take pleasure turning the pages of these crisp new reads. Night Lights was published originally 25 years ago. The characters of the mother and sister are featured more prominently in the new shorter, refreshed text, Diamond Goldin told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency in a phone conversation. Amberin Huq’s brightly colored illustrations are new, too. This year’s crop of newcomers also features the latest in the popular Sammy Spider series that has delighted kids for years. Earlier this year, the Rosh Hashanah middle grade novel Rachel’s Roses, by Ferida Wolff and illustrated by Margeaux Lucas, was named a notable middle grade novel in this year’s Sydney Taylor Book Award for Jewish children’s books. The heartwarming immigrant story, set in the early 20th century, is perfect for ages seven to 10. Up next is Sukkot, the seven-day fall harvest festival, when Jews build small huts at their homes to recall the ancient Israelites who wandered through the desert for 40 years after the exodus from Egypt. The fall holidays wrap up with the celebration of Simchat Torah, when the cycle of reading the Torah begins anew. A holiday with ancient roots, Sukkot resonates with many issues of the day, Diamond Goldin observed, from its

environmental and nature themes to a reminder of the plight of those who live in temporary shelters today, including refugees, a point she makes in her author’s note.

Sammy Spider’s First Book of Prayers Sylvia A. Rouss; illustrated by Katherine Janus Kahn Kar-Ben Publishing; ages 3 to 8 Young kids are introduced to daily prayers like the Shema for going to sleep, to blessings for Shabbat and special occasions. Each blessing, explained in lively rhyming verse from the point of view of the friendly Sammy Spider, is written in Hebrew, transliteration and a simple English translation. The blessings recited over Shabbat candles, wine and challah are perfect for Rosh Hashanah, which begins this year on Shabbat. Kids will enjoy spotting Sammy Spider dangling from his web on the brightly colored pages that embellish the book. Hillel Builds a House Shoshana Lepon; illustrated by Angeles Ruiz Kar-Ben Publishing; ages 4 to 8 Meet Hillel, an enterprising young boy who loves building houses—in trees and even under the basement stairs. But on Jewish holidays, his inventive houses

High Holidays many kids who fear the dark. Amberin Huq’s expressive illustrations glow with the golden hues of fall and glisten with the lights of the night.

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seem to get in everyone’s way. Finally, as Sukkot approaches, Hillel finds his groove. In his orange overalls, standing on a ladder, Hillel is gleeful as he helps his family build a sukkah, where they will eat their meals for seven days. “‘Sukkot means hammers and nails and branches and fruits and lots of decorations,’” Hillel said happily.

Night Lights: A Sukkot Story Barbara Diamond Goldin; illustrated by Amberin Huq Kar-Ben Publishing; ages 4 to 8 At the beginning of Sukkot, a young boy named Daniel and his older sister, Naomi, get ready to camp out overnight in the family sukkah for the first time without their grandpa, who has a cold. Readers will soon figure out that Daniel is a little anxious. There’s no electricity, his sister teases him, so he can’t have his night light. He brings his teddy bear, but in the shadows, Daniel imagines scary faces in the squashes that hang as decorations. As the night grows darker, Naomi realizes she needs a little reassurance, too. Looking up through the sukkah’s branches, the siblings see the glow of the star-filled sky and the bright full moon that coincides with Sukkot. Maybe their ancestors did have night lights in the desert, after all. The sweet story will strike a chord with

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• Family owned and operated since 1917 • Affordable services to fit any budget Worse and Worse on Noah’s Ark Leslie Kimmelman; illustrated by Vivian Mineker Apples & Honey Press; ages 4 to 8 In this upbeat spin on the biblical story of Noah’s Ark, award-winning author Leslie Kimmelman infuses a kid-friendly Jewish sense of humor. The story imagines how bad things can get when Noah and his family shelter through 40 days of the biblical flood in the ark’s crowded quarters along with pairs of all their animal friends. The story of Noah is read aloud from the Torah in the synagogue two weeks after Simchat Torah. In Worse and Worse, the animals get seasick, peacocks bicker with the zebras and the skunks make quite a stink. As the troubles amass, Noah’s wife and sons complain, “Could things get any worse?”—a refrain that kids can repeat page after page. Just when readers think the kvetching will never stop, Noah gets the crew working together to fix a leak that threatens them all. They begin to cooperate and care for each other. Kids will dive in to Mineker’s cartoon-like illustrations of zebras, parrots, growling lions and sloths hanging upside down. An author’s note prompts conversation about empathy.

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High Holidays Want to catch up on 5780 in Jewish pop culture? Start here, with The Almas. Gabe Friedman

The wisdom we have received and the strength we find in our faith gives us the best possible tomorrow.

(JTA)—Do you ever wish there were a fun Jewish version of the Oscars? Or the Grammys? What about a roundup of the best Jewish moments from across the vast reaches of the internet over the past year? Alma, one of the Jewish Telegraphic Agency’s partner sites at 70 Faces Media, does all of that and more in its second edition of The Almas, a collection of the best Jewish movies, television, books, music, and celebrity and internet moments of 5780, the past Jewish year. It’s not your typical list. In the television category, for instance, an award goes to “The Show We’re Sitting Shiva For” (it’s Schitt’s Creek, which finished its run this year). In the music category, there’s a “Best Jack Antonoff Production” mention—referencing the Jewish songwriter and how

he’s now ubiquitous in the world of pop hit writing (the award goes to Taylor Swift’s Folklore album, to give you an idea of his popularity). But there are more traditional awards, too, like Breakout Jewish Artist (rapper Doja Cat) and Breakout Actor (Adam Sandler, for his star dramatic turn in Uncut Gems). “This past year has obviously been very different than any others in recent memory, but with so many people stuck at home and consuming more media than ever—and with very few things that feel worthy of celebrating—we wanted to go into the Jewish New Year once again reflecting on all the exciting, unique ways Jews have represented ourselves in the media and on the internet,” Alma editor Molly Tolsky says.

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Nearly a year after attempted Yom Kippur attack, pandemic forces Halle Jews out of synagogue for High Holidays

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( JTA)—The coronavirus, not the attempted Yom Kippur attack by a gunman nearly a year ago, will keep the Jewish community of Halle, Germany, out of its synagogue for the High Holidays in 2020. The congregation will worship at a larger municipal space that’s more suitable for social distancing. “We are not happy about this, we’d rather be in our synagogue, but this is the most practical solution,” the chairman of the community, Max Privorozki, says. The synagogue was full to its capacity of about 100 last October when a white supremacist gunman tried to blast open the building’s armored door on Yom Kippur. He is standing trial for the murder of two people near the synagogue after failing to enter. The gunman filmed the killings.

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Members of Halle’s Jewish community of about 500 people were “looking forward to spending Yom Kippur and the High Holidays in the synagogue,” Privorozki says. “Trauma is not an issue—we come there every Shabbat,” he adds. But under the emergency measures for social distancing due to the coronavirus, the building can now only accommodate 19 people. “I’m not going to choose for my congregants who can come to synagogue, so it’s either we move to a new space or we have no space,” Privorozki says. The community has moved its Torah scroll to the alternative venue, which normally has a capacity of 400 but can now accommodate only 80 people. Police, who were criticized for not providing security to the synagogue last year, will guard both of the municipal building’s entrance points, Privorozki says.

High Holidays

Seven tips for staying healthy during the Yom Kippur fast Eat regular meals before the fast It is important to get your body into a routine before the fast. Make sure to eat regular meals on the days before the fast. And don’t skip breakfast, which is probably the most important meal of the day. Keep away from very rich and spicy foods. And eat in moderation. Take it easy before and during the fast On the day before the fast, refrain from strenuous physical exercise. Don’t run around too much doing chores—spoil yourself and take it easy. Keep out of the hot sun and spend the day in cool surroundings as much as possible. This is certainly true on the day of the fast as well. Dr. Tzvi Dwolatzky

(My Jewish Learning via JTA)—There is a marked difference between the intended feeling of being uncomfortable with not eating or drinking for 25 hours and actually becoming ill as a result of not getting enough liquids and nutrients. Yom Kippur not only requires emotional preparation, but physical as well. A person can take several important steps before the holiday in order to achieve the best physical condition possible to perform better on Yom Kippur, which this year falls on the evening of Sept. 27. Here are seven tips to prepare you for an easy fast:

For at least two days before the fast, make sure to drink adequate amounts of fluids. Remember that the healthiest thing to drink is water.

Have a light meal before the fast When sitting down to the meal before the fast, a light meal is preferable. Eating extra amounts of food does not help to keep you going for 24 hours. Rather eat small amounts of carbohydrates (bread, potato, rice, pasta), some protein (fish, chicken) and fruit (grapes and watermelon). Keep spices and salt to a minimum. The break-fast meal Well, you managed the fast very well, now it is time to eat. Go slow! Eat some carbs and drink some fluids. This article was printed with permission from Rambam HealthCare Campus, a 1,000-bed academic hospital in Haifa, Israel.

Ask your physician if your health allows you to fast Many chronic medical conditions, such as high blood pressure, heart disease or arthritis, do not usually prevent fasting as long as the condition is stable. This is usually the case for pregnant and nursing mothers, as well. Clearly an acute illness accompanied by fever, vomiting or diarrhea will prevent fasting. Before going any further, you should check with your doctor whether your health allows you to fast. Prepare early At least a week before the fast, cut down on the daily amount of coffee and caffeinated beverages. Also, take it easy with salty foods. Keep away from alcohol because it stimulates the loss of body water. The use of artificial sweeteners should also be kept to a minimum. Drink a lot of liquids, but don’t overdo it It is very important to be well hydrated before the fast. For at least two days before the fast, make sure to drink adequate amounts of fluids. Remember that the healthiest thing to drink is water. Keep a bottle of water with you and note how much you drink—about half a gallon is generally sufficient. But don’t overdo it. Drinking too much can wash out essential salts from your body. jewishnewsva.org | September 21, 2020 | Jewish News | 21

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Who knew? Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman sequel debut delayed again until Christmas

he world is going to have to wait a little longer to see Gal Gadot in the sequel to the superhero blockbuster Wonder Woman. Originally scheduled to open in June, and delayed several times, the film is now set for a Dec. 25 opening. The first Wonder Woman film was the highest-grossing movie in the summer of 2017, making $412.5 million in the U.S. and $821.8 million worldwide. The sequel, in which the Israeli Gadot reprises her role as Diana Prince, the Amazonian Princess Diana of Themyscira, was expected to be one of the highest-grossing movies of the year. About 70% of movie theaters in the U.S. have reopened, but theaters in large cities like New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco remain closed, Variety reported. Meanwhile, Gadot will star alongside Ryan Reynolds and Duane Johnson in the

thriller Red Notice, which is set for release in late 2020. She will also star in Death on the Nile, an adaptation of an Agatha Christie novel that is still scheduled for a theatrical release next month. (JTA)

Hit Israeli series Fauda will be back for 4th season

overs of the hit Israeli television series Fauda have something to look forward to—Season 4. The show’s official Instagram page featured the announcement of another season last week. “The news we’ve all been waiting for! Fauda will be back for Season 4! See you all soon!” read the post alongside a photo of actors Lior Raz and Marina Maximilian mugging for the camera. Raz, who also is a co-creator of the series, plays Doron. Maximilian is his current love interest. Fauda focuses on an undercover commando unit of the Israeli army whose

members embed themselves in the Palestinian community, gathering intelligence and preventing terror attacks. Netflix picked up the show in 2016, the year after its start in Israel. Both of the show’s creators—Avi Issacharoff, the Arab affairs reporter for the English-language Times of Israel news website, and Raz—served in the army unit depicted in the series. (JTA)

Sacha Baron Cohen’s next Netflix role is super Jewish and super relevant Lior Zaltzman

(JTA)—The timing couldn’t be more prescient for Aaron Sorkin’s newest film, The Trial of the Chicago 7. The movie by the Jewish West Wing creator, which is coming to Netflix on Oct. 16, is about the Jewish anti-war activist Abbie Hoffman, who was tried along with six others for conspiracy and inciting to

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riot for their role in the 1968 protests at the Democratic National Convention. Hoffman is played by none other than the Jewish actor Sacha Baron Cohen. It’s his second super-Jewish dramatic role for the streaming service after playing the Israeli spy Eli Cohen in the 2018 miniseries The Spy. The first teaser trailer for the movie premiered this month, and so much of it feels so timely and familiar—even if depicts events from more than 50 years ago. Especially familiar are the clips of scenes from anti-war protests, which led to a violent showdown between the yippie protesters and law enforcement, including police and the National Guard. “The whole world is watching,” we hear a crowd chant. A sign with Black Power fists that reads “An attack on one of us is an attack on us all” looks like it could have come from any of the Black Lives Matter protests in recent months. Seeing the fear and the determination of the protesters as they face armed guards also feels incredibly current. In fact, it makes you realize how little has changed over the past half-century—besides the hairstyles and the outfits, of course, plus the fact that nobody’s wearing a mask. With an unruly, curly mane and an East Coast drawl, Cohen is perfect as Hoffman. The actor is known for his immersive, overstated satire and grand theatrics, after all, and Hoffman was known for his theatrical style and comical methods for his anti-war activism. Cohen’s latest project, Showtime’s Who Is America, was an attempt to mock and shine a light on the injustices and hypocrisy by U.S. politicians. As the Jewish father of three told the Anti-Defamation League last year, his life and work have always been informed by activism. “As an undergraduate, I traveled around America and wrote my thesis about the civil rights movement, with the help of the archives of the ADL,” he told the crowd at the ADL’s 2019 Never Is Now Summit on Anti-Semitism and Hate. “And as a comedian, I’ve tried to use my characters to get people to let down their guard and reveal what they actually believe, including their own prejudice.” This story originally appeared on Kveller.

Are You Certain...

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A conversation with Eitan Hersh, author, professor, data analyst Wednesday, September 30, 7:30 pm, via Zoom

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he 2020 election is just weeks away. It is critical to vote and be heard this election season. There is too much at stake, regardless of party affiliation, to sit this one out. It is time to get inspired to vote and be a change maker. United Jewish Federation of Tidewater, Simon Family JCC’s Lee & Bernard Jaffe Family Jewish Book Festival, the Jewish Community Relations Council, and UJFT’s Young Adult Division will engage in a conversation with Eitan Hersh, author, Tufts University associate professor, and brilliant data analyst. Hersh will discuss his

book, Politics Is For Power: How to Move Beyond Political Hobbyism, Take Action, and Make Real Change. Is consuming the 24-hour news cycle and donating to campaigns political engagement, or is it acting merely as political hobbyists? Is watching SportsCenter the same as playing football? Obviously, the answer is no. What more can individuals do to become politically engaged? During the Zoom with Eitan Hersh, he will recount stories of people getting off the couch and becoming political organizers. Be inspired to turn off the news and not to let a one-click online campaign donation be the only political action for the year. Hersh will teach how to work together, not be complicit in politics’ bad behavior, and instead, change the status quo. Register at jewishva.org/eitanhersh, and don’t forget to VOTE. Check out the Jewish Community Relations Council’s Virginia Voting Resource Guide at www.jewishva.org/vote2020. For more information, contact Megan Zuckerman, JCRC director, at MZuckerman@ujft.org.

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Who knew?

Calendar

L’Shanah Tovah 5781

Bette Midler shines as an angry Jew in HBO’s Coastal Elites

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( JTA)—HBO debuts playwright Paul Rudnick’s “socially distanced satire” film Coastal Elites this month—and the star of the show is Bette Midler, whose Jewish character symbolizes the divide between America’s liberal cities and its heartland. The film is built on five remotely filmed monologues from characters based in either New York or Los Angeles during the COVID-19 pandemic. Midler plays Miriam Nessler, a retired New York City school teacher who may be the quintessential coastal elite. And one who is unapologetically Jewish, who also gets arrested for taking a red Make America Great Again hat off of a pedestrian on the street and running away with it. “He’s wearing jeans and a windbreaker, and the hat—the red hat. You know the one. The MAGA hat. In New York City, two blocks from the Public Theater,” Nessler says of the hat-wearer. “It’s like me going to Nebraska, wearing a yarmulke, waving a rainbow flag while reading a book!” Despite her words, Nessler doesn’t quite look down at the rest of the country. But the truth is that she is by self-definition “a liberal Jewish woman. On the census, where it says religion, I don’t put down Jewish. I put down the New York Times.” To clarify, the print edition. “Reading the Times online is like having sex with a robot. It’s cleaner and faster, but you can tell the difference. New York Times online is for gentiles,” Nessler says. The other characters are Mark Hesterman (played by Jewish actor Dan Levy), a gay actor auditioning to play the first gay super hero in a big movie; Callie Josephson (Isa Rae), a wealthy black woman who went to private school with Ivanka Trump; Clarissa Montgomery

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SEPTEMBER 30, WEDNESDAY JCRC Your Vote is Your Voice series. Eitan Hersh, associate professor of Political Science at Tufts University, will discuss his book, Politics Is For Power: How to Move Beyond Political Hobbyism, Take Action, and Make Real Change. Free and open to the community, via Zoom. 7:30 pm. For more information, contact Megan Zuckerman, director, Jewish Community Relations Council at mzuckerman@ujft.org. See page 25.

Bette Midler, January 24, 1981.

(Sarah Paulson), a woman who creates meditation videos; and Sharynn Tarrows (Kaitlyn Dever), a nurse from Wyoming who comes to New York to help during the pandemic. Besides the very funny jokes, at the center of Coastal Elites is a sense of wariness, an unease because after all this time, after all the news, there is a national divide over something where there should be unity. Rudnick noticed about a year ago, that “everybody I knew on every side of the political divide was in a permanent state of anger and heart break over the future of the country.” Coastal Elites is the result of that feeling. He was raised in a Jewish household, attended Hebrew school, had a bar mitzvah, but it was primarily “cultural Jewish. We’d focus on the Jewish traditions, education, and culture and civic responsibility.” At dinner the family would discuss what was in the Times that morning and on that night. His parents, he says, “were very good liberals and also deeply curious. And they emphasized real engagement in life.” Rudnick, who has written other screenplays, plays, and novels, says he is “grateful for that great Jewish comic tradition, a way of speaking that’s wry and skeptical and loving, all at the same time, which is nuts and doesn’t make any sense at all.”

OCTOBER 20, TUESDAY JCRC Your Vote is Your Voice series. Jennifer Steinhauer, New York Times reporter and author of The Firsts: The Inside Story of the Women Reshaping Congress, will share her perspective on how these women are making Congress essential again. Free and open to the community, via Zoom. 7:30 pm. For more information, contact Megan Zuckerman, director, Jewish Community Relations Council at mzuckerman@ujft.org. Send submissions for calendar to news@ujft.org. Be sure to note “calendar” in the subject. Include date, event name, sponsor, address, time, cost and phone.

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January 25

Obituaries Sylva Anna Maria Bertini Ocean City, NJ—We celebrate the beautiful life of Sylva Anna Maria Jamsek Bertini, who was called home to be with her loving God on 31 August, 2020, surrounded by her daughters. Sylva was born in Fiume, Italy, in June of 1936. She loved her lively port city, living by the sea, and going to school. During Mussolini’s Italy, Sylva was witness to many atrocities of war and was forced to grow up quickly, eventually fleeing her beloved country from the fascist regime as a refugee of war to America. She came to the U.S. at the young age of 16 with her mother, father, and younger brother, by ship. Their names remain on the wall at Ellis Island. Although Sylva was an exceptional student in Italy and had already devoured many of the great books of literature and conquered calculus, she was placed in the 6th grade upon arriving in Vineland, N.J., because she spoke only minimal English and ESL education was not yet a reality. At 8th grade she decided to continue her studies through distance learning, and earned her High School Diploma, as well as several Literature credits in night school at Glassboro State College. Sylva met Marino Augusto Bertini, a handsome and spirited Italian American sailor on leave from the Navy after just returning from a long tour of duty, in the spring of 1956. The two fell in love and married, settling in Vineland where they had their three daughters. Marino became a butcher and Sylva decided to open a small market, with her parents as partners. This venture started what would become a more than 30-year career of being a savvy business woman, and ultimately leading her family to their new home by the sea she so missed, in Ocean City N.J., where J&B Delicatessen on 31st and Asbury, would become an amazing family run success, with Sylva at the helm. Sylva was the main caretaker for her many relatives who had come and settled in N.J. before her. She would continue to navigate this new country, its customs, rules, and language for them. She dutifully and lovingly cared for her parents,

always living with her, until their deaths. To Sylva, education was only third to faith and family, and so the Bertini girls were raised knowing that an excellent higher education to eventually serve others with a noble purpose was an expectation. Sylva and Marino were able to realize their dreams and send their three daughters to fine universities— Sonya to Simmons where she became a bilingual special education teacher; Lisa to Georgetown and William and Mary Law, where she became a discrimination attorney; and Vanessa to University of Virginia, where she became a pediatric oncology RN. After the sale of the deli, Sylva became a bank teller at Ocean City Home Bank. She quickly showed her talents, and as the bank grew, worked her way up to becoming a vice president. Ultimately, Sylva was appointed the first ever woman to serve on the board of directors of Ocean City Home Savings and Loan.

She was a treasured member of the community, contributing her time and talents to food cupboard, the Ocean City Historical Society, the Ocean City Pops, as a Minister of the Eucharist for the ill at Shore Memorial Hospital and for Saint Damien Parish Catholic Church. And as a mother and grandmother, aunt, sister, and friend, she was sincerely beloved.

Her humble, wise and giving spirit will be cherished. Sylva Bertini will be forever remembered as the personification of kindness, grace, and dignity to all who knew her. Sylva is survived by her devoted daughters, Sonya Bertini (Rich Tolson) of Margate; Lisa Bertini (Dr. Jack Siegel) continued on page 28

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Obituaries continued from page 27

of Virginia Beach; and Vanessa Bertini (Patrick Murphy) of Virginia Beach. She also is survived by her 6 adoring grand children, Mikel Bertini of NYC, Roxanne Smith of Virginia Beach, Zoe Siegel of NYC, Sophia Smith Wells of Richmond Va., Lucy Siegel of Los Angeles, and Isabella Smith of Royalton, Vt., and one great grand daughter, Lola Jane Wells of Richmond. Donations to USA for UNHCR at unrefugees.org, a charity dear to her heart. Godfrey Funeral Home.

Theodore M. Bonk PORTSMOUTH—A profound friend, mentor, and influencer of many in his generation and several in younger generations, Theodore M. Bonk died on September 5, 2020, in the manner he preferred. Born in Camden, N.J. on February 22, 1947, he relocated to Tidewater, in 1965, where he received degrees in English and in Early Childhood Education at Old Dominion University. In his last years, he lived bravely with cancer and other debilitating, chronic physical conditions. His true calling was his love of food and its presentation, which was initiated when he became executive chef of the Weight Watcher’s franchise for Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia. From there, he became involved in the restaurant business, as a partner in The Jewish Mother, a successful deli-nightclub for over two decades. He was also celebrated for his masterful, “one-of-a-kind” tablescapes, in which he took great pride. He later

became a retailer of antiques and collectibles, and he had an instinctive sense of decorative skill, using many styles of furnishings. A lifelong Catholic, with an interest in prejudice, Ted understood what hatred and stupidity can do to any one of us. He felt Catholic “guilt,” when he learned about the history of World War II. As a proud Polish Catholic, he was unsure that the Polish people had done enough during the war to save their fellow countrymen. He developed a Jewish soul during his 47-year-relationship with his husband, Rick. They both served as leaders of Temple Sinai in Portsmouth, Va., for many years. Together, they established the Bonk-Rivin Holocaust Library at that synagogue, with their private collection of books and videos. This Bonk-Rivin Holocaust Library collection is now safely ensconced at Ohef Sholom Temple, in Norfolk. Ted loved the State of Israel and its people. He went as a volunteer to Israel in 1990 during the Desert Storm War, to take over a civilian position, so a civilian could go to the front as a soldier. After returning to the United States, he was honored at the Israeli Embassy in Washington, D.C., for services to the State of Israel. He was predeceased by his maternal grandmother, Mary Mazur; his parents, Dorothy Bonk, and Stephen Bonk; by his parents-in-law, Zelma and Bernard Rivin; by his sister-in-law, Rosalind Rivin Chernoff; by his niece, Kimberly Underwood; and by two special women

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in his life, Kathy Axelrod and Shirley Weiner. He is survived by his husband, Richard A. Rivin, his sister, Patricia Underwood (Michael), of Haddonfield, N.J.; and his brother, Steven Bonk (Thom Mooney), of Hampstead, N.C. He is also survived by his sister and brother-inlaw, Anne Rivin Stanfield (Jeff) of Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. and by his brother and sister-in law, Jonathan Rivin (Tempe) of Napa, Calif. Other survivors include his nephew, Kevin Underwood ( Jen), his niece Heather Szychoski, his nephew Steven Bonk, Jr. (Magda), his nephew, Gregory Bonk, as well as his greatnephew Joel Szychoski, his great-neice, Emma Bonk, and his great-nephew, Ben Bonk. He is also survived by two maternal cousins, Debbie Schafer (Paul) and Michael Smith (Laura). Due to the pandemic, no memorial service will be held. At a future date, a graveside gathering will be scheduled. Donations may be made to any local food bank, or to the Bonk-Rivin Holocaust Library at Ohef Sholom Temple, 530 Raleigh Ave., Norfolk, VA 23507; or to a charity of one’s choice. To Plant Memorial Trees in memory, visit our Sympathy Store.

Khava Chausovskiy Norfolk—Khava Chausovskiy, of Norfolk, passed away on September 2, 2020. One of Temple Israel’s dear Russian ladies. The funeral was graveside at Forest Lawn Cemetery. Shira Garvett Miami, Fla.—Shira Garvett was born on October 8, 1953. We are sad to announce that on August 30, 2020 we had to say goodbye to Shira Garvett. A graveside service was held at the Riverside Gordon Memorial Chapels (5900 SW 77th Ave, Miami, FL 33143). Grayson Jeffrey Goodove Virginia Beach—Grayson Jeffrey Goodove, passed away on September 3, 2020 in Harrisonburg, Virginia. Grayson, born on August 30, 1999, to

Michael and Michelle Goodove (Harry), was raised in Virginia Beach, Virginia where his family lives today. In addition to his parents, Grayson is survived by his sisters Gabi and Skylar, Grandparents Eddie and Harriet Goodove, Robert and Carolyn Harry, uncles and aunts Scott Goodove and Amy Goodove, Kirk Harry, Kaylyn and Steve Conner, and cousins Drew and Ella Goodove, Alexander and Chelsea Vaccari, and Connor and Paige Harry. Grayson shares his middle name with his uncle Jeff Goodove, who preceded Grayson in death. Grayson was a Junior at James Madison University after graduating from Cox High School in 2018. Grayson lived life at the speed of light and brought joy, laughter, and a full heart to all of those fortunate enough to know him. He was a lifesaver in every sense of the word and loved being on the beach and gave back to his community as a Virginia Beach lifeguard during the past five summer seasons. With his piercing blue eyes and charismatic smile, Grayson’s gift was that he brought energy and light to everything and everyone he came in contact with leaving all he knew with a compass for happiness and a guide to live a full life. Including playing with his labrador retriever, Uma, his many and varied interests included surfing, snowboarding, SCUBA diving, swimming, playing his guitar, and listening to music. Too numerous to list, he was surrounded in life amongst “brothers and sisters” sharing a joke and a smile with those from his hometown, at JMU, and in a brotherhood like no other as member of Kappa Sigma fraternity. But mostly, Grayson had a strong and loving family relationship that transcended beauty and explanation. A graveside service took place with Rabbi Rosalin Mandelberg and Cantor Jennifer Rueben officiating. Donations may be made in his memory to the Virginia Beach Lifeguard Association (www.vblaguards.org/). Altmeyer Funeral Home, Southside Chapel.

Obituaries Marvin Kuriloff Spring City, Pa—Marvin “Marvelous Marv” Kuriloff, 94, died Sept. 5, 2020 in Southeastern Pennsylvania Veterans Center, Spring City. He was the husband of the late Claire (Green) Kuriloff. Born in Bronx, N.Y., he was the son of the late Sam and Maude (Crook) Kuriloff. Marvin honorably served his country as a Sergeant in the Army during WWII. He was shot down in the Pacific on a B-29, working as a gunner man, and was awarded a purple heart. He was a true American hero. He was a self-employed butcher for many years before retiring in 1985. Marvin was an amazing father who endlessly worshiped and supported his wife. He enjoyed chess, bridge, was a great dancer, and loved golf. He was more than funny, a hysterical man who exposed his family to a lot of great times. He especially adored his grandchildren. Marvin is survived by his sons, Roy A. Kuriloff and wife Pam of Fairlawn, N.J. and Floyd M. Kuriloff of Virginia Beach, Va.; daughter, Lisa M. wife of Michael Spradlin of Macungie, Pa.; grandchildren, Adam Kuriloff, Andrew Slobodow, Ben Kuriloff, Sam Slobodow, Jeremy Kuriloff, Jonathan Kuriloff, and Jenny Kuriloff. Services with military honors were held privately. Schantz Funeral Home, P.C., Emmaus. In the spirit of Marvin’s legacy, please go up to someone you love and give them a hug and kiss, or make someone you don’t know smile. Roberta Leibowitz Virginia Beach—Roberta Leibowitz passed away on September 3, 2020. Roberta leaves many family and friends behind. Her children: Dianne Gallardo and husband Greg; Neil Leibowitz and

wife Mary; Lynn Hammond and husband Hutch. Grandchildren: Jessica Warren and husband Jonathan; and Kaitlin and Aaron Leibowitz. Roberta “Bobbie” loved the beach; it was her happy place. Roberta touched many lives during her tenure working for the Virginia Beach School System, as well as being a devoted mother, friend, and grandparent. Please celebrate her life by loving and being kind. She will be buried in Arlington National Cemetery with her husband Martin Leibowitz at a later date. Donations to your favorite charity. The family would like to thank everyone for the outpouring of love as well as all the kind messages and thoughts. We encourage people to continue to share stories of the “Queen Mother” so she can be remembered forever.

Pansy Donsky Perlman Norfolk—Pansy Donsky Perlman passed away Thursday, September 3, 2020 at the age of 90. She was born June 22, 1930 in Norfolk, Virginia to Jacob and Jennie Odessky Donsky. Pansy graduated from Maury High School in 1948 and completed her education in 1952 at RPI Richmond, now known as Virginia Commonwealth University, where she received a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Sciences and Education. She taught school at Patrick Henry Elementary. She and her husband Jerome Perlman met early in life. They married in 1953 at Beth El Temple Norfolk with Rabbi Reich officiating. The young couple lived in Charlottesville while Jerome was in medical school at the University of Virginia. They were relocated to Hanau, Germany for Dr. Perlman’s tour of duty as a medical officer with the US Army. While living in Europe, they traveled to Austria,

Italy, France, and Switzerland. Pansy grew up with a mother and father who were early and active supporters of the establishment of a Jewish homeland. A visit to Israel in 1993 was the fulfillment of a lifetime dream for her. Following her parents’ example, she was involved in temple life and volunteered countless hours to numerous Jewish organizations. Pansy was a recognized and talented participant in her community. She was an entertainer and storyteller at heart. She served as president of B’nai B’rith Women, president of Ladies Auxiliary Beth Sholom Home of Eastern Virginia, and was an Honorary Cabinet Member of the Women’s Division of the United Jewish Federation of Tidewater. Together with her husband, she was honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award for outstanding dedication and commitment to the mission of Beth Sholom Village. Family, community and religious life defined her. She was a devoted wife and loving mother. Survivors include her husband of 67 years, Dr. Jerome D. Perlman; her daughter, Susan Perlman Scholsohn; her son, Dr. Steven L. Perlman (Sharon); and four grandchildren who were her greatest joy, Todd Scholsohn of Norfolk, Amy Scholsohn of Playa Vista, Calif., Lauren Perlman of Brooklyn, N.Y. and Erica Perlman of Lakewood, Col. She is also survived by a sister, Lolly Bernstein of Norfolk and sister-in-law, Saralee Warnick of Bellevue, Wash. as well as many nieces, nephews, and cousins for whom she had great affection. She was preceded in death by her parents and a brother, Harry Donsky of White Plains, N.Y. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, a private graveside service was conducted by Rabbi Rosalin Mandelberg and Cantor

Jennifer Rueben at Forest Lawn Cemetery. Memorial donations may be made to Freda H. Gordon Hospice and Palliative Care, Beth Sholom Village, Ohef Sholom Temple, or a charity of your choice. H.D. Oliver Funeral Apartments. Online condolences may be sent to the family through hdoliver.com.

David Metz Virginia Beach—David Metz, 91, passed away on August 31, 2020 peacefully at his home surrounded by his family at his bedside. He was born to Abraham and Fannie Metz on July 23, 1929 in Brooklyn, N.Y. He is predeceased by his parents, his sister Anna, and brother Bernie Metz of Queens, N.Y. He now also joins his beloved wife of 60 years, Lenore R. Metz and granddaughter Amanda McPhee, in heaven. Left to cherish his memories of endless and unconditional love with his humorous disposition are his son’s Kevin Metz and Earl Jones of Norfolk. His devoted daughter, Brenda McPhee. His grandsons, Justin (Nicole) McPhee, and Shawn (Vikki) Metz, who stayed by his side. Great grandchildren Aiden McPhee, Liam, Noah and Ava Metz, all of Virginia Beach,. and nephew Matthew Cooperman of Queens, N.Y. David was loved by all who knew him and will be dearly missed. He was a Topographical Engineer in the US Army, a Real Estate agent and happily retired as a Sales Associate in the Men’s Suit Dept. at JC Penney. A graveside service ws held at Woodlawn Memorial Gardens officiated by family friend and Rabbi, Israel Zoberman. Altmeyer Funeral Home. Donations can be made to the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

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in memoriam

Saying goodbye. Lisa Bertini

erminal agitation. That is the hospice verbiage for the loud moans my mom was making from the bed in Sonya’s Margate home. The mattress she occupied was the very one she had slept on for many married years with my father, now of blessed memory. Though she would die of loneliness caused by COVID, by G-d, she would not die alone. As soon as my mom was diagnosed with pneumonia, she was released to her three daughters. Our hunger to touch her was feral—I hadn’t laid hands on her since early March. Getting her lungs filled with fluid was my mother’s last act of sheer defiance. Somewhere inside her befuddled mind, she knew that was the metaphorical gate left open. My dad had died in their living room 18 months ago, surrounded by his wife and daughters. We would now create the same setting for my beautiful little bird, Sylva. When the ambulance drivers, so young and damp with sweat, carried her to the sunny Yankee baseball blue chamber, rearranged so that she could gaze at the sky and daisies, I was relieved she was still breathing. Now, there would be only oxygen and morphine in this, her last, resting place. Our instructions were clear and unselfish. Sonya, the

elder wand, and keeper of all memories, was the POA and like any accomplished teacher, insisted on following the rules perfectly. Vanessa, the youngest, would once again escort a parent to the next world with as little suffering and as much comfort only a pediatric oncology nurse could muster. And I, an exhausted trial lawyer, had no argument to make. The verdict was in and there could be no appeal. We were out of time. We took shifts—which is to say, we all sat for hours on the bed together encircling my tiny mommy as we chanted like a coven of witches. Alas, we had no spells. An aerial view would reveal a mystical ring of energy so hot and bright that no earthly fatigue could snuff it out. We prayed, we wove stories, we laughed so hard that we snorted, and we sang off key. She was there with us, even if her eyes were gazing elsewhere. We even danced like the living dead. Sonya Pandoraed Doris Day so loud that my mother’s last audible words ironically and prophetically were “Que sera, sera. During my shift, I laid with this broken, peeping lark propped against me who was making bitty peeps. I called my husband, who I hadn’t seen for days, to catch him up. As I placed the phone to my mom’s recently moisturized lips (the one job I was entrusted with!), he could hear her rattled breathing (the “rales”)

and all was quiet on the other end. “ Jack? Are you there?” Then a low, husky voice tiptoed in with a stock phrase that failed to disguise. “Let’s go over the palliative care plan,” he finally came up with. Vanessa, our minister of mercy, got on the phone to make her report. We all have our roles. Jack puts broken things back together gorgeously. Not being able to do that this time was his penance. The bewitching hour struck, and slumber found us. Well, some of us. There would be no sleep for the night shift daughter however, as she hourly medicated, flipped, poked, and massaged her beloved patient. Never has a nurse so loved her invalid. Never would a sufferer be so tenderly handled. On the night before Sylva’s final adieu, I dreamt of reluctantly acquiescing to sing three songs in front of a packed audience. In the dream, which I feel is more akin to a nightmare, I was as I am now. Older and completely tone deaf. In no waking world, would I agree to remember lyrics, let alone bellow them out publicly. Regardless of my protests, the pianist nodded at me as I approached the microphone with swelling anxiety. The curtain lifted to a packed house, and I awoke. Finding my way down the dark hallway where the oxygen tank hummed like a noise machine gone berserk, I

Sylva Anna Maria Jamsek Bertini.

found my mother, ever shrinking in the sheets, completely embraced by her lover, the hospice nurse (who had apparently abandoned all professional protocol and returned to her place in the womb as the baby of the family). What I know is this—we ultimately have no control over the big stuff and must let go. But we can love. And the only way to love is to love thickly. For “Love is or it ain’t. Thin love ain’t love at all.” (Toni Morrison). Just as I’ve never sung before an audience, I never lived in a world without my mommy. But the curtain is rising, and I just woke up. Lisa Bertini is the immediate past chair of the Holocaust Commission.

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