Ultra Vires Vol 14 Issue 2: 2012 October by Ultra Vires

the independent student newspaper of the university of toronto faculty of law First Edition October 16, 2012 Vol. XIV, No. II ultravires.ca

Feature Number One File U of T Law Fashion

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Victoria Campus is the Law School's Temporary Home josh stark

Feature Number Three Point | Counterpoint

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(3l)

n October 1st, Dean Moran announced that Victoria University will be the law school's temporary home for the next two years. Classes, student spaces, and other law school facilities will be moved across the street while the new building is under construction for the academic years of 2013/2014 and 2014/2015. Many details of this arrangement are still being worked out. The faculty will be meeting with staff from Victoria University throughout the month of October to finalize classrooms, study areas, and student social space. One of the priorities of the faculty is ensuring that the classrooms are adequate for law students’ particular needs.

"Nearly 100% of our students use laptops", said Archbold, noting that the classrooms "require places for laptops to go, and technology for professors who use PowerPoint. Essentially all of the capabilities, and hopefully more, should be available in the interim space." Both the sls and the Faculty plan to consult the student body during this process. The Student Building Consultation Committee, composed of both faculty and sls members, will be meeting

regularly throughout the year to discuss the ongoing preparations.

Location, Location, Location Most classrooms on Victoria campus are in the Northrop Frye building and "Old Vic", the large central building south of Isabel Bader Theatre. It is likely that the majority of law classes will be located in these two buildings. The law library will be moved into the Birge Carnegie building. The details of designated law student space for events and clubs is not yet known. Law students will also have access, like any U of T student, to the other facilities at Victoria College. This includes the Goldring Center, which is currently under construction but will be complete by Fall 2013 The Goldring center, in addition to housing a renovated Wymilwood café, will feature a licensed bar and student meeting spaces. Students will still have access to some existing facilities in our current buildings. The sls office and some locker spaces in Flavelle will still be accessible during the construction period. Falconer classrooms and offices will also be accessible.

Library Study Space Sharply Reduced At a Town Hall on the transitional space, Chief Law Librarian John Papadopoulos explained that the law library would be moving into the Birge Carnegie building. Rather than replace an existing library, the law school is converting space currently used by the Victoria College students association and Wymilwood café. The current Victoria student lounge—a large, highceilinged room on the main floor—will function as a reading and study room, with long tables for students. The current Wymilwood café seating area will house the library’s stacks. This transitional arrangement has some limitations. Bora Laskin library has 220,000 volumes in it, but there will only be space for 30,000 in Birge Carnegie. An additional 50,000 volumes

will be stored at Robarts. However, as Mr. Papadopoulos points out, most jd students use only a very small portion of those 220,000 volumes. Those texts used most frequently by jd students will be included in the 30,000 readily available in Birge Carnegie.

See news Page 4

You owe the firms nothing So screw them over during in-firms anonymous

(3l)

Dear 2Ls, The recruitment process is an adversarial process in which you will match wits with professionals who are trained at matching wits with students. Seemingly nice and friendly student directors are in fact cold-hearted agents of capitalism— they are only as nice as they have to be to get what they want.

Grand Moot Photos

Law is a business: each firm is a profit-making organization which has at its heart a singular goal: to make money. And you should be totally cool with that. Every rational actor acts in its own best interests and it is in the firms’ best interests to string as many candidates along as possible, to drop a candidate if she doesn’t seem interested, and to fire her the second she is no longer useful.

See features, Page 12

See opinions Page 11

LETTERS

2 | October 16, 2012

ultravires.ca

Is UV too Cliquey? patrick hartford editor- in - chief (3l)

es, obviously. Well that was a short column. This is a complaint that we hear often. And if we can hear complaints over the nonstop dubstep playing in the uv office (sorry Cheryl Fung!), then it must be pretty serious.

We’re aware that uv can come across as a small group of friends who have hijacked the school paper to make self-referential in-jokes. The Editorial Board consists mainly of people from the pub night crowd, and perspectives presented in uv tend to reflect this bias. But as badly as we may come across, we’re actually a pretty open group. The problem is that when you’re running a school paper, you quickly realize that no one is banging on your door offering to submit content. This is especially true over the summer months as you prepare for the September issue. So what’s the answer? You bug your friends to do it. This works well, but quickly becomes self-perpetuating. You end up relying on a handful of contributors and the paper comes across as cliquey, which discourages others from getting involved.

Dark Comedy

Editor-in-Chief, Patrick Hartford, contiues to try and outdo Matt Brown's use of uv for self promotion.

ast February we sat around, got warmly drunk, and laughed at ourselves. As usual, Law Follies built most of its comedy on mocking law school stereotypes. One skit mused on the damage we do to our social lives —we replace relationships with textbooks. Another skit parodied lawyers as self-obsessed hipster douchebags. The self-deprecating humour doesn’t end at Law Follies. The other outlet for law school humour, Ultra Vires, only ever makes one joke: law students are awful human beings. Law school humour is dark. It mocks the best parts of our profession and exaggerates the worst. Usually it targets law students, depicting us as either corporate hacks or naive, idealistic imbeciles, and in either case totally dependent upon substance abuse and emotional denial. Is it odd that our humour usually takes this form? Nah. It’s normal, and it’s probably healthy. U of T law has a pretty awful reputation. We take ourselves too seriously and are obsessed with grades. We are the only school that everyone

But Ultra Vires is your school newspaper too. It’s meant to reflect the viewpoints of the law school at large. We publish a lot of Diversions articles, not because we want the paper to be light-hearted, but because joke articles are the easiest content to solicit. We’d love for uv to be a forum for discussing more serious issues and questions.

loves to see lose at law games. During those first weeks of 1L, I remember wondering—is everyone here as intense as the stories say? You try to suss out the mood of things. You ask cautious questions and you pay attention, closely, to what upper years do and say. You read Ultra Vires. You go to Law Follies. It’s valuable to mock ourselves, sometimes ruthlessly, because doing erodes our reputation for being vicious sociopaths with no other goals in life than personal prestige, the accumulation of wealth, and narcotics. Self-deprecation humanizes the law school experience to people who do, and do not, go to U of T. But secondly, and maybe more importantly, this type of humour directs our attention to actual problems. Each of these stereotypes contains a grain of truth. Corporate hacks? Many people who come to U of T do find themselves funnelled into corporate law, in many cases simply because it is the default option presented before them. Substance abuse? Law school culture does encourage excessive consumption of alcohol

To make this possible, we need your feedback.

josh stark

(3l)

—already standard for some, but a norm that can be socially frustrating or even unhealthy for others. We don’t need reminders of our successes. The faculty does that well enough every chance they get. But we might need more reminders of the pitfalls of our profession and our school.

Is there anything about uv that you would like to see more or less of? Is there something about the paper that deters you from contributing? There are many ways to get in touch with us. You can email us at ultra.vires@utoronto.ca, you can submit feedback through our website at ultravires. ca, or you can talk to us about it at school. You don’t have to get involved directly, but we’d love to hear your thoughts.

Now, this is the part where you realize that this editorial railing against people taking themselves too seriously is taking itself way too seriously.

Ultra Vires is an editorially independent publication. We are open to contributions which reflect diverse points of view, and our contents do not necessarily reflect the views of the Faculty of Law, the Students’ Law Society, or the editorial board.

Editor-in-Chief Editor-in-Chief, Emeritus News Editors Features Editor Opinion Editor Diversions Editors Special Content Editor 1L Editors VP Finance Web Editor Layout Editor

Patrick Hartford Matt Brown Josh Stark , Luke Gill & Lee Webb Emilie Lahaie & Jacquie Richards Michael Portner Gartke & Josh Mandryk Emily Debono & Rebeka Lauks Bhuvana Sankaranarayanan & Katherine Georgious Paloma van Groll & Marita Zouravlioff Daanish Samadmoten Kevin Siu Alyssa Howes

Errors

If you find any errors in Ultra Vires, please email ultra.vires@utoronto.ca

Advertising

Advertising inquiries should be sent to vp Finance Daanish Samadmoten at ultra.vires@utoronto.ca

Submissions

If you have an article submission or a tip for us, please contact us at ultravires@utoronto.ca. Ultra Vires reserves the right to edit submissions for brevity and clarity.

NEWS

ultravires.ca

Letters to the Editor Dear Editor:

Your last issue contained a good story on the new law school grading scheme by Michael Portner-Gartke. I am one of the faculty who opposed the change, but since it is happening there is no point in debating the various points made by mpg. However, there is one factual inaccuracy that should be corrected. The article states (correctly) that there are 'guidelines' governing the number of grades that can be given out in each category. It goes on to say that 'professors will be given one or two percentage points of flexibility in larger classes and several points in smaller ones.' In fact it is rather more than one or two percentage points. We all have a chart giving the numbers for each grade range according to class size. Using the example of a 100 person class (because it makes it easier for me to do percentages), the guidelines allow for 12-18 students to receive hh, 28-36 to receive h, and 46-64 to receive a Pass. This is rather more than 1 or 2 percentage points in each category, and could obviously result in disparities between sections of the same course. A faculty member who graded on the low end, for example, could give 12 hh, 28 h, and 60 p, while a 'high marker' could give 18, 36, and 46 respectively. Put another way, the guidelines allow one class of 100 to have 54 students getting either hh or h, and less than half getting a Pass, while the other class would have only 40 students getting hh or h, and 60 getting Pass.

SLS Election Results luke gill

(3l)

he Students’ Law Society has added eleven students to its ranks since the election wrapped up on Tuesday, September 18. The election was held as early as possible in the term in order to allow for the group to begin working on time-sensitive projects, such as issues surrounding the faculty’s new building.

The 'flexibility' of the new scheme was one of my own, and others', objections to it. In first year in particular there is absolutely no reason to expect such differences to be the result of random selection into sections or of class performance. The old system came in some 30 years ago to respond to such differences in grading, at the request of students. It was not perfect, but it did ensure some consistency across courses.

October 16, 2012 | 3

Civil law contracts, for example, are significantly shorter and simpler than common law contracts because the principles and framework of civilian contract law are well understood and do not require solicitors to spell out every detail of the transaction. Our social, legal and political cultures have developed to expect excruciatingly complex and abundant regulations, laws and agreements and it seems that Tsilivis has assumed that this will always be the case. The law is made by people, and people can work to clarify and simplify the law. While some parts of the legal system may be unavoidably complex, lawyers have contributed more to the unnecessary complexity that currently exists and should now help make our system clearer.

Jim Phillips Dear Editor: Louis Tsilivis’s defence of lawyers in the September issue of uv uncritically embraced the status quo and should be reconsidered. While I agreed with his conclusion that “[a] world without lawyers would be a much, much worse world” Tsilivis never describes, positively and directly, why the lawyer-free world would be worse. What he does instead is show only that lawyers are useful because the law is complicated, specialization is a virtue and frivolous lawsuits are not really a problem. I want to make the case for why these arguments miss the big picture and why I nevertheless think lawyers may make the world a better place. Tsilivis is right to say the law is complicated. But, does it need to be as complicated as it is? her goal is “to learn as much as I can about what already goes on here and the core social events brought to the student body by sls. I'm hoping that by being a part of these events, and paying attention to what my 1L colleagues think about them, I can put together a strategy to help to get 1Ls better integrated into things.” There was also a by-election for the 3L positions that remained unclaimed after last year’s spring election. The three new 3Ls elected to the stag committee are Sameer Nurmohamed, Ginger Ellison and Michael Portner Gartke. Ellison was eager to explain what motivated her to run for a position on stag. “When I found out that the Student Affairs and Governance Chamber addresses many of the issues that I'm passionate about improving—feedback, recruiting, and alumni relations, to name a few—it was an easy decision to run for this position,” she said. “I saw this position as an opportunity to give back to a community that has been very good to me over the past three years.”

Khrystina McMillan was elected as the third and final 3L member of Social Affairs. Social The four 1L students elected to the Student Affairs vp, Danielle Glatt, outlined the committee’s Affairs and Governance committee (stag) are two main goals: (1) to improve the transparency Elaine Sun, Natalie Lum-Tai, Kyle Gerow and of the club funding process, and continue to Aaron Hunt. Hunt considers the new building develop funding policies in an equitable and and the new grading system as the two biggest fair manner; and (2) to develop and establish issues for stag to deal with. He sees his role as community based events before the building being “able to effectively communicate the coming process begins. “In beginning to transition to changes to our 1L class, and act as a strong external locations this coming year,” Glatt stated, representative for the ongoing concerns of students.” Sun echoed Aaron’s thoughts on the “I hope to ensure a smooth transition for students that will be displaced during construction.” new building, stating that “the law school building plays such a large part in the feeling of community; I want to work hard to make sure that is not lost.” sls President, Albert Lin, was keen to begin working with all of the new members on his number one priority: to improve student service st ag vp, Sierra Yates Robart, spoke highly of provision. “Our students are our clients and we the newly elected 1L reps. “During our first few endeavour to give them the best service,” Lin meetings, all of our 1L representatives have said. “This means both building upon existing spoken passionately in our open debates and student services and looking for opportunities taken initiative on projects. I have been so to come up with innovative, value-added student impressed so far by their dedication and courage services. Our hope is that students will reap the at such an early stage, and when they are still rewards of our effort with initiatives such as the finding their feet at the law school,” said Yates. inaugural sls/cdo oci Mock Interviews session, the planned overhaul of our website and it Three 1Ls were acclaimed to the Social Affairs committee at the close of the nomination period. infrastructure, and the tentative resolution of the perennial dilemma with budget surplus.” They are Hayley Ossip, Mayleah Quenneville and Claire Huang. Quenneville, who considers running events a personal hobby, told uv that

As Tsilivis points out, specialization is generally beneficial: some areas of work may be best executed by, and only by, people who know those areas really well. But isn’t there also personal and societal value in general knowledge? Society is better off if some skills—first aid seems like a clear example—are broadly known. In a political system like ours where each and every citizen holds power, and that power is legal in nature, there is a strong case for why everyone should be minimally competent in navigating the law. Just as firefighters have a role to play in making households fire safe, lawyers should also be helping the public attain basic legal competence. Lawyers should still be available to help on particularly difficult cases, but everyone should know how to avoid and resolve many potentially legal conflicts. To do that, we also need to demand a system that more people can navigate. The final point Tsilivis made was that rent seeking

was not a significant problem: most disputes are legitimate and courts can weed out the frivolous ones. Even though this is true, I think he misses a bigger possibility. Lawyers as a self-regulating group can apply pressure within the group to make frivolous lawsuits truly exceptional, and use less expensive and contentious forms of dispute resolution. In all three of his arguments I think Tsilivis is settling for what we have rather than advocating for what we might achieve. Despite all of this, I fundamentally agree with Louis. For one thing, our system was built to facilitate the work of lawyers, so if we were all to retire at once, a good deal of havoc would reign. Over time, though, societies would come to new arrangements that would allow business and government to carry on. I would agree that even this fully adapted world would be worse than our own on some accounts. This is because some complexity, specialization and enforced dispute resolution allows for a richer, more creative world. That does not mean though, that lawyers should become complacent. We should always be working toward simplifying our legal interactions, empowering people to participate in the legal process and encouraging a culture of accountability, in which people would be more apt to resolve their own disputes fairly. Obviously this work is aspirational and long term, but that is all the more reason to advocate for it. It is easy to agree that the world would be worse without lawyers—Louis wouldn’t be in it for one thing—all I hope is that we still work for making it the best world with lawyers that it can be. Lee Webb

1L Curriculum Unchanged… For Now luke gill

(3l)

his year’s 1L curriculum could have looked very different. In March, the Faculty Council Standing Curriculum Committee voted on a series of proposed changes to the 1L curriculum. The most notable and controversial proposed change was to swap the formats of Contract Law and Administrative Law. Contracts would be offered as a mid-sized and semesterized course, while Admin would be a full year course taught in both large and small group sections. Further, lppe would be taught in the winter semester and Contracts would be taught in the fall. There would not be a fall reading week for 1Ls, as the content of the lppe Ethics Intensive would be taught in early January. While the changes were not approved this year, a similar change could be proposed again in the near future. The positions and dynamics that shaped last year’s discussion may determine the future shape of the 1L curriculum. One purpose of the proposed change was to evaluate the effectiveness of Admin when delivered in a conventional year-long format; likewise, to evaluate contracts when offered as a mid-size, semestered section. Faculty also wanted to determine whether lppe and the lppe intensive week are more successful when offered in second term when students have more background understanding of substantive legal doctrine than in first term. Furthermore, it was argued that the proposed changes were needed because without the changes Faculty leaves and teaching preferences could not be accommodated without increasing certain class sizes.

The proposed changes turned out to be a very divisive issue among faculty members. In the build-up to the Committee’s vote, a large number of professors provided the Committee with written arguments for and against the changes. With Faculty split on the issue, it became clear that the votes of the three sls representatives on the Committee would be critical to whether the changes were approved or not. Since the issue was only introduced to the sls halfway through the winter term, there was very little time to consult with students and determine whether they broadly supported the proposed curriculum changes. For this reason, the sls representatives opposed the changes on procedural grounds, holding that any significant change to the curriculum should be put before students with sufficient time to consider the effects of such a change. Furthermore, the limited consultation that was carried out highlighted substantive issues with the proposed changes. The primary concern that students held was that the number of contact hours, or in-class teaching hours, for contracts would be reduced. This was perceived as a problem because contracts is viewed a key private law course. Students were also concerned about the increased workload in the first semester, which would include a mid-sized paper, the lrw assignment and small-group papers without the benefit of a reading week. For these and other reasons, the sls also opposed to changes on substantive grounds.

After a lengthy debate, the Committee did not recommend the proposed changes to Faculty Council; this was largely in part due to the fact that the sls Committee members opposed the changes. To their credit, certain members of faculty made it clear that they were very uncomfortable recommending the changes without student support.

NEWS

4 | October 16, 2012

ultravires.ca

See victoria university Page 1 The number of study spaces will be sharply reduced, from 300 in Bora Laskin Library to about 80 or 90 in Birge Carnegie. To cover the difference, law students will have to use other nearby libraries. Both ej Pratt and Emmanuel College libraries are closeby, and available to all U of T students.

Victoria Campus: The Inside Scoop Ultra Vires spoke to Shoaib Ali, the President of the Victoria College Students' Administrative Council (vusac), about the law school's use of Victoria campus over the next two years. Shoaib didn't foresee Vic students being at all concerned about the influx of law students. "Our students are very excited for the Goldring center to open. So we're not really worried about not having enough student space." Although Shoaib told us that Victoria has a beautiful campus, it does have some drawbacks. "Vic is very segregated from the rest of campus by Queen's park, so it tends to feel isolated". Hopefully law students—already accustomed to being separated from the rest of campus— will not find this a significant drawback. Asked to comment on the rumoured lack of plugins, Shoaib told us that this problem has recently been mitigated. "Recently, [the property committee] received an update—every classroom in the college has now been digitized— they now have the requisite amount of plugs and projectors" Left: A map of the temporary law school buildings. Below: A possible classroom at Northrop Frye and our library reading room.

NEWS/Features

ultravires.ca

Academic Accommodations at the Faculty of Law luke gill

(3l)

hile most law students have come to expect a very strong academic program at U of T Law, it is less well-known that the faculty also has a flexible academic accommodations policy. The process is outlined in the Academic Counselling and Accommodations policy and the Examinations: Guidelines and Accommodations policy, which are found in the Academic Handbook. The depth and flexibility of the process only becomes apparent, however, when one engages with the Assistant Dean, Students, Alexis Archbold. According to the Assistant Dean, students approach her with a broad range of issues when requesting academic accommodations. This range includes physical ailments, family problems and the fallout of relationship breakdowns, but the most common issue cited is stress and anxiety. Other mental health problems, such as depression, are not uncommon. For some students these health problems started before law school and are ongoing, whereas for others the problems arise for the first time in law school.

here are dozens of legal clinics in Ontario and across Canada that serve special communities. This month I connected with Doug Ferguson, the Director of Community Legal Services, which is the student legal clinic at the University of Western Ontario.

Where any of these or other problems arise, there is a spectrum of academic accommodations available to students. For some, extensions on assignments and exam deferrals may be sufficient for some. It is also possible to shift the weighting of a course grade such that participation grades do not unduly impact students who were unable to attend classes. For others, there is the opportunity to switch to the half-time program, take a short-term leave of absence or withdraw from the program. For students who opt to exercise any of these latter options, the faculty will work with them to reimburse them for tuition as deemed appropriate under the circumstances. In the past this has meant that Assistant Dean Archbold will work with the University to claw back tuition for students when they are past the normal university deadline for tuition refunds. The amount of the refund will depend on the timing of the accommodation. On the other hand, going half-time will generally have an impact on financial aid; this includes the faculty’s financial aid program and government student loans. Students who enter the halftime program will likely see a reduction in their

financial laid bursary due to the reduction in their tuition. More problematic, however, is the fact that such students will almost certainly no longer qualify for government student loans. In cases where the student has outstanding loans from previous years of study, including pre-law school loans, the student will be asked to begin repaying the outstanding amount. The faculty has no say in this, unfortunately, and so students will have to determine how this may impact them and how this can be mitigated. Aside from the government student loan issue facing students considering switching to half-time, the centralized accommodations process is handled within the faculty. The process begins with a confidential meeting with Assistant Dean Archbold. “Before discussing a specific accommodation, we will address the issues being experienced by the student. We’ll talk about what is happening, what are the impacts, and whether this is the first time or if it is ongoing,” said Archbold. “Our mission is to determine the needs of that student. This quite often involves making referrals to counselling services and health services for assessment and support.”

October 16, 2012 | 5 If accommodations are deemed appropriate, the student will not deal with his or her professors on an individual basis. This is handled exclusively by the Assistant Dean. “We do this to ensure: (1) the policy is applied equitably; and (2) it allows me to monitor how students are doing in a general sense, which would be impossible otherwise,” Archbold commented. As per the policies, documentation will be needed to support any accommodations. When asked how she rated the faculty’s accommodations process as compared to other professional faculties’, Assistant Dean Archbold responded, “I don’t know. We are so focused on providing stellar service and care to our students that we do not care what other faculties are doing. We are meeting the needs of our students, and tailoring our accommodations to them.” Archbold acknowledged the fact that law school, as well as the legal profession, are inherently stressful environments. “As someone who struggled with fairly serious anxiety during law school, I have a lot of compassion and understanding for law students who are experiencing stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues while trying to get through law school. One of the main challenges of my job is to support students to stay balanced and healthy while they complete what can be a challenging and stressful academic program. We are working hard at the law school to develop a culture where students feel comfortable to reach out for help when they need it, and confident that they will receive the information, support and referrals they require to be well.”

Better Know a Legal Clinic lee webb

(3l)

How many people do you serve in your region?

We work on 800-900 files per year. In addition we have about 1,500 people attend our public legal education sessions and about 200 attend our immigration information sessions. We also provide notarial services to about 2,200 people and provide summary advice to another 200. We also have podcasts and newspaper articles that reach many more. What are your main practice areas?

Criminal, small claims court, landlord and tenant, immigration, mediation, public legal education, wills and powers of attorney, university appeals. Are there any services your clinic offers that might surprise an outsider?

We handle some intellectual property files, and occasionally handle appeals to the Divisional Court and the Ontario Court of Appeal. Who works at your clinic?

Community Legal Services supervisor and students - courtesy Doug Ferguson

At present we have two full time lawyers, two part time lawyers, two articling students, and two administrative staff.

We work closely with Pro Bono Students Canada and co-operate on some projects, such as our Small Claims Court Project, where Pro Bono and cls students assist people in filling out Small Claims Court forms.

Our students are given a lot of responsibility. They work very hard but they are also given a lot of support by our lawyers. Our grads tell us that working in the clinic was the best thing they ever did in law school.

We are leaders in the movement to reform legal education in Canada. We hosted the first ever national clinical legal education conference in 2010, and I spoke recently to the Federation of Law Societies on the state of experiential learning in Canadian law schools.

London is a great place to live and to practice law. It’s small enough to have small town feel to it, yet large enough to have the advantages of a large city. The bar and bench are very collegial and very helpful to our students.

What do articling students get to do while at your clinic?

Articling students are assigned their own files and assist us in supervising law students. They are involved in all aspects of the clinic. We try to give them as complete and fulfilling experience as possible. What makes what you do at your clinic unique?

Ultra Vires student ad “Doodle - School Kid” quarter page portrait, b&w

Contact: Heather Murray hmurray@casselsbrock.com 416 869 5782 - fax 416 642 7137

Please PRINT a hard copy of the ﬁle and either FAX it or SCAN and EMAIL it back to me, thanks!

Our public legal education program is very strong, and aimed at fulfilling community needs. We have office hours at a local social agency for people with mental health issues, and have created a Community Justice Centre at the London Central Library where we meet with clients.

We have recently started to offer cle@cls, a program aimed at young lawyers, articling students, and law students that counts towards the cpd requirements of the Law Society of Upper Canada. Last week we offered a session on Small Claims Court. Why is it great to work at your clinic, and in your area?

As I tell our students, nowhere else in law school to do get to work on real files for real people in a real court. We have a high success rate in our trials (recently we won eight of nine criminal trials) and that shows the high quality of work we do. Our students form friendships in the clinic that last well beyond law school.

What are the greatest challenges you face in your law practice?

The greatest challenge we face is to ensure that a student is getting the work done on all his or her files. We want to offer good and timely service to our clients. Students have competing priorities, and the vast majority understand that the client has to come first. It’s important in private practice to move your clients’ files forward in a timely way. Is there anything else University of Toronto law students should know about your clinic?

The clinic directors of the six Ontario law schools meet once or twice a year to discuss common issues. The clinics have many similarities, but they are different in their structures and systems. They all do good work for low income clients.

FEATURES

6 | October 16, 2012

ultravires.ca

Pöp Kulture presents

The UV Guide To Dubstep Have you ever had this conversation:

A: Hey, wanna go see a dubstep concert Friday night? B: What the fuck is dubstep? If so, you’re not the only one. Recently, the dubstep zeitgeist has taken off in Toronto and around the world. Whether you care about dubstep, like it, hate it, or make love to it, you have to know what it is—so that you can more accurately and knowledgeably hate or love or continue to ignore it. So what the fuck is dubstep? Like many pöp kulture phenomena, dubstep is notoriously hard to define. Most people resort to a specific artist or song to explain dubstep: e.g. Skrillex – Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. Others point to its general audience to explain dubstep: i.e. music that 19 year olds at music festivals rolling on mdma listen to. These definitions

are clearly deficient—and not because Skrillex doesn’t do dubstep or that drugged up ravers at Electric Forest don’t love the stuff. They do. (Ed: Can’t blame them)

Musically, dubstep is typified by a tempo around 140 beats per minute (‘bpm’). That is about the same tempo as Jungle/Drum & Bass —the stuff from 90s raves. This tempo is faster than your standard ‘House Music’ that typically falls around 128 bpm. So if you’re on a stimulant of sorts—i.e. caffeine, cocaine, mdma, ecstasy, amphetamines, Ritalin, meth, crack, and probably bath salts—a faster tempo meshes well with your faster heartbeat. However, dubstep often uses syncopated, reggae and hip-hop inspired breakbeats, which nicely slows down the pace. Chill beats, bro. Instrumentally, dubstep tends to utilize bass heavy synthesizers that sound to most people like robots at war or sexing. Or both. Fucking

The Case for Pub Night ashvin singh

(2l)

ike every great institution, pub night has its peaks and lows. But let us be frank; last week’s venture to Dance Cave, a bar that used to be an icon of law school nightlife, was a partying abyss. Many were rightfully appalled as an obnoxious, amateur dj tapped her feet to remixed farm animal noises, while her electro crew engaged in hipster spasms that vaguely resembled dance moves. Especially charming were her inarticulate responses to the multitude of reasonable requests for music appropriate for human consumption (my favourites were that “[she] was already paid” and that those complaining ought “get back to the suburbs”). Needless to say, I don’t think we’ll be returning anytime soon. However, to the upper years who know pub night as a weekly episode of unmitigated rambunctiousness, this year’s pub nights have been a gentle beginning. Dance Cave aside, the bars are not the only concern. After all, Bedford Academy is a traditional pit stop for U of T Law, and the Annex Wreckroom played amazing music. The sls spends hours intricately planning a line-up of downtown Toronto hotspots that encompass a broad variety of atmospheres. But attendance has been slower than usual. Skepticism and lethargy are abundant. People seem to have forgotten what pub night is really about. Based on my foreshadowing, you probably correctly predicted that in the following paragraph, I would tell you what pub night was about. Pub night is more than a random social gathering of people who happen to go to law school. It is your primary opportunity to make connections with a large number of people from different years in your casual social setting—people who will be your friends, contacts and colleagues for life. It’s an opportunity for collective catharsis after a packed week of case summaries and lectures. It is a testament to the fact that at the University of Toronto, we not only work hard, but we play hard and succeed in spite of it. In short, pub

nights are a manifestation of our school’s very character and a U of T Law institution. This is why the Jersey Shore meets The West Wing each and every Thursday night. It is typical for attendance at the beginning of the year to augment slowly. Orientation Week exhausts the fortitude of 1L livers; first years also opt to attend the countless ethics seminars and legal research and writing sessions that are conveniently slotted for Friday mornings. The 2Ls recently underwent the painful and exhausting process of ocis, Dance Cave put a bitter taste in the mouths of many and most 3Ls likely have not started attending classes. But as the month of October begins, it is time to question our own forbearance and embrace this proud law school tradition. The future breeds optimism. Last week’s pub night at Souz Dal, casually known as the Tiki Bar, drew strong numbers from all years. Of course, the minimal floor space had us shoulder to shoulder and the two solitary bartenders made drinks hard to come by. But the bar unquestionably had a unique character; it isn’t every day that we can stumble out to a patio with tropical décor and sand beneath our feet. Besides, what better way to make new friends than the involuntary intimacy of a crowded bar? Still, it is clear that the people long to bust a move. You know—to decent music, not the Dance Cave byproduct of an egotistical dj banging on an electric keyboard. 2Ls hum Call Me Maybe in their study carrels, and even the originality of Souz Dal resulted in a mid-night flight to Levack Block by some in search of a dance floor. The sls seems to be responding swiftly. Cognizant of law students’ enjoyment of belting out Backstreet Boys songs, the infamous Fox and Fiddle has been booked for this Thursday’s soirée of dancing and karaoke. Pub night is regaining its former glory. All we need to show some good old U of T law pride and show up.

fighting robots is the electric guitar of the 21st century. The wail of a Gibson or Fender is being replaced by the womp womp of dubstep—and even alternative rock bands like Muse are starting to flirt with these soundscapes. Dubstep is so pervasive a genre that even music scholars (Ed: Like those fuckheads next door who play loud crap during exams) are paying attention to it— and so should you. Describing dubstep is like naming the top five Robyn tracks (Ed: A surefire way to start a brawl in the Village). Dubstep is music that makes you question whether it is actually music or the sound of music being tortured. It’s music that sounds like lasers attacking a dial-up modem mixed with aggressive basslines. It’s the sound your vcr makes when chewing up a videocassette (Ed: Who owns a vcr still? Raise your hand so we can ostracize you.). It’s the type of music Mozart would compose if he were alive today but brain dead.

Dubstep is the sound your skull makes when someone smashes you in the face with an aluminum bat—in auto-tune. If Gotye is beer, dubstep is injection drugs. All of them. At once. It’s simultaneously in your face and not in your face because you’re not even listening to it. Dubstep is a bad one night stand that you follow up with a run of shame rather than walk. Dubstep is also a great one night stand. Those exist too. Ask a lot of law schoolers right after pub night. Dubstep is the sound your law school debt would make if it made noise. And that’s what the fuck dubstep is. Understand? YouTube these tracks for some big dubstep tunes:

Robyn – Call Your Girlfriend (Feed Me Remix) Blue Foundation – Eyes on Fire (Zeds Dead Remix) 12th Planet, Skrillex & Kill The Noise – Burst ft. gmcfosho Avicii – Levels (Skrillex Remix) Knife Party – Fire Hive Ed Sheeran – The A Team (Koan Sound Remix) Imogen Heap – Hide and Seek (Mt Eden Dubstep Remix)

Halloween Costumes (2L)

fter Saint Patricks Day, Halloween could be considered the number one holiday for poor decision making. However, there is no reason your bad choices should extend to your halloween costume. As a former sexy f iref ighter/g irl g uide/A lice/nurse/sexual harassment panda, I have observed a number of costume faux-pas over the years. This may not make me an expert, but really, who cares? Here are the official ton ten most common halloween mistakes as observed by moi, your secret law school fashion blogger:

Non-hypersexualized women's costumes Ladies, this is the one day of the year that you don't need to worry your skirt is too high. Take advantage of this golden opportunity to wear that sexy maid outfit you bought last year for your anniversary and only used once. I'm sure that falls under one of the waves of feminism.

Costumes that need more then f ive words to explain After two drinks no one wants to listen to an overly complex concept they won't remember in 10 seconds. Consider also if you really want to keep explaining to everyone you meet what witty pun your trying to emulate when you're half in the bag?

Topical u.s. Political Costumes We get it, you're following the u.s. election. How very worldly and intellectual of you.

Bad Law school puns Only acceptable in 1L, after that it's a given you can come up with that shit.

Reality tv personalities Do you really want to advertise to the world you watch toddlers and tiaras on the reg? Even

Six U of T Law School “truisms” That (Sort of) 4 Aren’t Actually True

TRUISM: Law school is about learning to “think like a lawyer”.

(2l)

TRUTH: The highlighter method is a confusing, unbelievably time consuming thing with questionable value unless you’re hoping to develop your skill at 6-12 colour neon drawings in the margins of your course pack and time mismanagement.

them at a disadvantage against the non-smilers. 1Ls, based on my extensive and definitely unbiased research, will relax and become less lame when December exams end, the world doesn’t*** and everyone stops pretending that using twelve colours of highlighter has any value. **I may actually still be a 1L. 1.5L? I don’t understand my combined program. ***The world might actually end this December, 2012. 1Ls should start coming to pub night now.

jacquie richards

TRUISM: The highlighter method is “a thing”.

U of T Law Fashion File edna mode

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if you have no sense of shame, the rest of us don't want to admit we recognized that Go-Go juice bottle right away.

Costumes that involve any type of cardboard structure surrounding you It won't fit on the subway. Heck, It won't fit through the door of the predrink. Even if it does, it will definitely get broken at some point in the night and leave you stuck pretending your actually supposed to be embodying derelict circa Zoolander.

Men's costumes that involve an absence of or tight bottoms Gentleman, the rules that apply to the ladies unfortunately do not apply to you. Take a lesson from Cosmo’s fashion section and be strategic in the skin you show. Topless police officer = yes, underwear model = no.

No effort Costumes Halloween only comes once a year so there is no excuse to be "too busy" to come up with a costume during the 364 days leading up to it. Variations on "evil dopelganger of yourself", "three hole punch Jim" or “the reasonable man” aren't clever, they are just plain lazy.

Black face, Nazis, Jihad, twin towers etc. Just because Prince Harry did it doesn't make it even close to right. (Though uv does endorse strip poker, camera and Vegas combinations whole heartedly.) Aside from the obvious career damning photos that will result, it's always going to be "too soon" to make light of genocide.

Beloved childhood icons No one wants to hook up with barney or a care bear. One night of nostalgia may result in years of Sunday morning regrets every time you watch tv with your children.

TRUISM: The 1L class is significantly lamer than your class and all prior classes.

TRUTH: Law students have not been becoming exponentially lamer with every passing year— they just always were seem to be for three months or so. Why? 1L is overwhelming in a way that’s sort of reminiscent of high school—a whole lot of irrelevant things seem really important because everyone immediately around you says they are. While most 1Ls eventually realize that the amount hours spent physically sitting in Bora/writing ungraded legal research and writing papers will have almost zero correlation to their gpa/ job options/self worth (especially when most of those hours are spent surreptitiously eating “library inappropriate food”/napping under the desk), 1Ls, prior to December exams, are afraid to be fun. They** are terrified that smiling will take up valuable study time and put

TRUISM: That classmate to your left? She might just be the next Supreme Court Justice. The one to your right will write screenplays. The paths law students take following graduation are as varied as you are!

TRUTH: That classmate to your left, and her left, is going to work for a full service firm. The one two seats away just doesn’t know it yet, but the one next to you does. She has already started her oci research and networking, and she looks great in a suit. If I accidentally relaxed you with the previous truism, I take it all back. By not preparing already, even right now, you’re probably shooting yourself in the foot. Your better dressed classmate will beat you, and your linear career future as a Managing Partner/ world leader is probably ruined. Be terrified. Drink more coffee. Highlight everything.

TRUTH: Law school is about learning to think like a very tired nineteenth century lawyer with a three hour time limit while chewing up torn out pages from the Administrative Law treatise so no one else can ever read them. Delicious.

October 16, 2012 | 7

Reflections on 1 month of 1L life paloma van groll (1l) & marita zouravlioff

(1l)

Sure, we’ve only been around a month or so and really have no idea what these changes mean to us, but everyone else is making such a big deal about them (see: Ultra Vires Sept issue), that we feel like we should be too.

TRUTH: Your classmates are indeed pretty bright, but trust me when I say that you’re not the only 1L who isn’t sure what a “neutral” citation is (As compared to what? Is there a “biased” citation? Is this one somehow sexist?) or wonders whether the “proportionality test” has something to do with hip to waist ratios. Which it does.

And while we did take a moment to ask ourselves, Should we bother getting attached to Flavelle? Do we study extra hard for the illustrious ‘pass’? What’s going to happen to the Rowell mouse? we’re too busy coping with the day-to-day to care that much: November is around the corner and we’re still trying to figure out what the purple highlighter is for. We’re learning how to deal with the angry feelings that surface when gunners talk. We’ve gotten over the heartbreak of dls, but now we’re wondering how we got roped into doing Law Review (despite explicit instructions from upper years not to, there was that little voice at the back of our heads that said ‘but Obama did it!’).

TRUISM: Your classmates have an astonishing array of “non law” talents.

TRUTH: Your classmates know all of the moves for “Gangnam Style”.

TRUISM: Every single one of your classmates is mind bogglingly brilliant and understands all of the material immediately except for you, who the admissions committee accepted by mistake. The faculty has made note of your incompetence already when they saw you writing “???” after every line of your lppe notes and will shortly be rectifying their error by physically tossing you out of the school, highlighters and all.

TRUISM: Anything in Ultra Vires.

mpg

says in list format

TRUTH: This is… 100% right. I’ll follow that man anywhere his lists may lead me.

e came to U of T bright-eyed and freshfaced (just kidding we’re jaded and sombre at all times), only to find out that we are essentially the Year of The Guinea Pig. We’re the first class to be on the new grading system, and the last to call the Flavelle basement home sweet home.

What does it matter if our classes are across the street? At least they’re not in York Region. And concerns about the grading system are irrelevant until after our December exams. After which we will be dead anyway, according to the Mayans.

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8 | October 16, 2012

An Appreciation of Hamish Stewart

The most valued matt brown

(3l) & josh

stark

ou think you know Facebook. But then, one September day, you’re sitting in evidence class and Hamish Stewart drops a bomb: this man uses facebook, and hell, if you please you can be his friend. But you won’t find that in the syllabus. You tab over to your browser, send that friend request, and your life is forever changed.

You don’t know facebook until you have been facebooked by Hamish Stewart. The man uses facebook as you would—if you had a PhD from Harvard, an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek, and better opinions. This article reviews, lauds, and chronicles the many contributions Hamish Stewart has made to the internet. What do we love about Hamish?

The nerdy stuff that is not in the syllabus Hamish has encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek like Data would have if Data were a real person who had watched Star Trek rather than a fictional character in Star Trek: tng. Dude is Data without the hair but with emotions (and not the artificial emotions Data experienced in Star Trek: Generations using the Emotion Chip). If he wanted, Hamish could write the Halsbury’s treatise on Klingon Public Law. He’s probably doing that right now. What a guy.

in law school

(3l) His photos from younger days We’re young and don’t know much of anything. But Hamish? Man has experience. And what’s more, man is aware of the past—his own, and that of his city. Which is why he casually shares informative photos of vintage Toronto depicting common locations before they were ruined by condo developers (or at least that is the line you will use on your yuppie friends.) So instead of wasting your days creeping your ex’s timeline, spend some time checking whether Toronto was hotter five years ago.

His reasonable contributions to facebook discussion threads You know what it means to be friends with Hamish Stewart? It means that your comment threads now feature one of the greatest constitutional scholars in Canada, who will drop in to utterly destroy the ignorant doggerel posted by your friends. Not that he is mean—never. But rather, his comments—so apt, so responsive, so sensitive— they make everything else look like so much ash.

His pictures of the moon that he took himself with a telescope Hamish Stewart posts pictures of the moon that he takes himself with his telescope.

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10 | October 16, 2012

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How to Win at Call Day

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ultravires.ca Continued from call day Page 10

It’s important to note that firms assign tons of lawyers to make calls on Call Day. If you receive a call at 8 am on the dot it does not mean that you are a firm’s first choice—because tons of other students also received calls at 8 am. Because I wasn’t sure if firms would do interviews at 12 pm on Monday, I asked the first firm that called (my third choice) if they would do it. They said yes. I asked if they would do a 1:30 pm lunch on Tuesday. They said yes. I then got a call from one of my top-two firms and scheduled an 8 am interview and a dinner on Monday. Then my fourth choice firm called, and gave me 2 pm as I requested. They refused to do a lunch with me on Tuesday though, and because I wanted to give my second dinner to my other top-two firm, I ended up not scheduling a meal with my fourth firm at all. That was the only firm that did not call me back on Tuesday. My fifth choice firm called, and balked at 4 pm Monday, saying it was too late. I pushed them

michael portner gartke

(3l)

Exchange in France

On exchange in beautiful French wine country or that time Sam, Promise and Lane almost killed each other lane krainyk

(3l)

hen Promise, Sam and I found out that we would be spending a semester in Lyon, France, we joked about living together. “It would be like a reality show!” said Promise. “We could film it and send it back to our friends in Toronto!” said Sam. “You would literally kill each other!” said everyone who heard of our idea.

In the end, Sam opted for a single dorm room in a university residence and Promise and I decided to look for accommodation once we arrived. Sam arrived first—settling into a small dorm room that would serve as his bedroom, office, kitchen and living room for the next three months. A few days later, Promise arrived, making her home, temporarily of course, on Sam’s floor, wedged between the bed and the kitchen table. I came three days later and, like Promise, settled on Sam’s floor on an air mattress that was situated beneath Sam’s desk. While Promise and I (and definitely Sam) hoped that we would find permanent accommodations quickly, we soon realized that finding a place to live in Lyon would be very difficult. In the weeks that Promise, Sam and I occupied a space about the size of Bora’s elevator, we learned to co-exist (almost) peacefully. Sam and I learned that, in the morning, Promise reverts to her 5 year old self who refuses to get up and then refuses to get in the shower and then refuses to eat the breakfast that you have made for her. We learned that Sam has habits of talking in his sleep (“She smelled like salmon! She did!) and stripping down to his underwear immediately upon walking in the door, regardless of who is there. Promise and Sam learned that, while they are both very stylish individuals who take great care in the clothes they buy and wear (Sam even

brought scarves! And not just for practical coldfighting purposes!), I am, as they have told me repeatedly, devoid of any fashion sense and totally incapable of dressing myself. After hearing my go-to line of “sure this may not fit properly but I got it for free!” one too many times, they forced me to go shopping to buy something that they could be seen with me in. We developed a routine. In the morning, I would get up first, “bopping around” (as Sam liked to say) and making breakfast as noisily as possible. I leaned my air mattress up against the desk to create what we called “Promise’s change room.” At exactly 8:25 I would begin my daily routine of lying to Promise about what time it was and coaxing her to get out of bed. We quickly learned that Promise does not like to hear clapping, singing or laughing before 10:00 am. Meanwhile, Sam rolled around in his bed, using what I came to think of as his “colourful morning language” (fyi he also has “colourful driving language” and “colourful seeing-beautiful-French-countryside language”). Usually, we left for school about ten minutes after I would have liked and ten minutes before Promise would have liked. In the evening, we would come home and get our “kitchen” ready (i.e. pulling the table to the middle of the bedroom) and have a romantic team dinner with some combination of cheap, and delicious, French wines. After what was usually a very late dinner, we would turn on our favourite French reality TV show (“Love is on the farm”) and settle down for the night—Sam on his single bed and Promise and I on our mattresses. Because we cannot get enough of each other, the three of us have also traveled together in our time in France. One weekend, we went to Cannes (with an irrelevant Windsor law student) where we stayed in a hotel room with a single double

bed (it literally felt like a palace to us) and inadvertently went to a bizarrely racist drag show where everyone was smoking inside (someone accidentally put out a cigarette on the nose of the irrelevant Windsor student, causing second degree burns). More recently, we visited the lovely U of T law crew in Paris. Demonstrating my inability to be taken out in public, particularly when shopping is involved (Promise once yelled “Can’t you do anything right?!” at me in a crowded h&m), I knocked over a mannequin in a really fancy store on Champs-Élysées (of course, the head rolled across the store). In the time that we spent living together, Promise, Sam and I literally—literally—were not apart from each other for all but three hours. In 13 days. Three hours. Combined. Although, in retrospect, this seems crazy, the one time that I was left on my own I almost managed to cut my thumb off making dinner. A sign, perhaps, that I am not to be left unsupervised. While there were a number of downsides to our living situation (Promise’s poor boyfriend must have felt like he was in a relationship with all of us), we managed to get through it without killing each other and, when Promise and I finally left, we felt like we were breaking up. Our time in France has been incredible. From bars that serve free nutella and crepes right next to the dj to bakeries that open at 5:00 am (perfect for a snack on the way home from the bar!) to freely drinking high quality, low cost wine on Lyon’s riverbanks to (Attention: Alexis Archbold) studying international law principles that will be an indispensable asset to us in our future legal careers, we have been having a great time. We are looking forward to the remainder of our exchange experience. And when we return to Toronto in January, I am hopeful that we can continue having dinner parties in Sam’s bedroom.

eginning at 8 am on October 26th, Toronto law firms are permitted by the Law Society of Upper Canada to call 2014 jd candidates to schedule in-firm interviews. Fortunately, the only substance to that rule is the word “call”—you will all be told over e-mail who will be calling you.

This is how to play Call Day. I decided prior to ocis that five firms was the perfect number of firms with which to in-firm. Conveniently enough, exactly five firms offered me in-firm interviews. Unfortunately, of those five, four invited me to dinners. I decided before Call Day to attend dinners with my two preferred firms and to ask the other two to do lunch instead. I hoped to do a lunch at 11:30 am Tuesday and a second at 1:30 pm. Five firms is the perfect number of firms with which to in-firm because you can just squeeze them all into one day: 8 am, 10 am, 12 pm, 2 pm and 4 pm. Some people schedule a sixth (and some extremely risk-averse and good-atocis people a seventh) on Tuesday but if you get call-backs from most of your Monday firms (and most firms do invite you back) you won’t have time for any new firms on the Tuesday. If you’re really risk-averse you can book Tuesday interviews on Call Day and cancel them over e-mail Monday night if you get enough call-backs. That is totally okay—no firm will be angry if you cancel on them in advance. I also had a distinct priority within the firms with which I in-firmed. I liked my top three firms way more than my fourth and fifth firms. Most people will tell you that it’s best to schedule your favourite firms early in the day to show them your interest, so I correspondingly planned to get my first three firms into the first three Monday slots. I don’t think this really matters though—if you have good interviews, firms will like you whenever you meet with them. Prior to Call Day I looked up each of my firms’ phone numbers. Each firm has phone numbers that begin with the same three digits (or two sets of three digits). Knowing this information allows you to screen calls – and ignore 7:59 calls from your least favourite firms or hold out until one of your favourites calls so that you can guarantee getting your optimal interview slots with them. That being said, the only benefit I derived from knowing this information was being able to tell who was trying to get through (on call waiting) while I was on the phone with another firm. Continued on Page 11

October 16, 2012 | 11

though, saying that was the only time I had left on Monday (which was a lie, as I had not yet filled my 10 am slot). The lawyer finally relented, and gave me the 4 pm slot as I had requested. Every phone call I had received to this point had begun like this:

I had left and that I really wanted to see them Monday morning. Finally, the lawyer said he’d double book me and that they wanted to see me on Monday morning as well. You have to demand what you want on Call Day, but if you do you’ll get it. That final firm was the firm that hired me!

Me: Hello? Lawyer: Hi, I’m calling from x Firm. Me: Hi, I’d like to meet with you at y time on Monday and for z meal. Is that okay?

Continued from you owe the firms nothing Page 1

It’s important to speed these calls along because every firm will try to call you between 8:00 and 8:05. I could tell that my other top-two firm was trying to get through beginning at 8:01, but I was always on the line with other firms. Finally at 8:07 they got through—and refused to give me the 10 am interview slot as it was completely booked. Three times the lawyer repeated that the slot was full and that I’d have to come in some other time. I kept insisting that that was the only time

Students need to understand this in order to do recruitment properly: with a singular focus on getting what they want. Too often students get caught up in the mentality of “I don’t want to do that; that would screw over that firm that was so nice to me.” Bullshit. You should never think that. A firm offers you front row hockey tickets so that you’ll skip your dinner at another firm? Take ‘em—if you planned on rejecting the other firm anyway. You shouldn’t be worried about the possibility that you might not accept an offer

How to Keep Your Cool During Interview Week laura berger

(3l)

ike many 2Ls, last fall I embarked on a bizarre, bewildering series of job interviews. Although I had dutifully attended every cdo information session, to be honest, I had absolutely no idea what to expect.

Here are a few suggestions for 2Ls going on interviews this year—whether you’ve lined up a slate of November in-firms, or will be interviewing for other positions early next semester. Alas, I cannot tell you how to score that perfect position or dazzle at a cocktail party. But I do have some advice for getting through the process with your sanity (and your self-confidence) intact.

Set aside some money for essentials. Unless you’re extremely careful, going on job interviews can cost a small fortune.

First, you will open your closet and discover with some consternation that your carefully assembled collection of vintage dresses—rad as they might be—probably won’t pass muster on Bay Street. So you will plunge down the rabbit hole of conservative interview attire: tailored suits, sensible shoes, stacks of blouses… and enough pantyhose to equip every First Lady since Mamie Eisenhower. (Because those things run and snag like nobody’s business! Stay tuned for my forthcoming uv opinion piece, “The Pantyhose Racket: A Tool of the Patriarchy Designed to Slow Women Down and Empty Our Wallets.”)

And some money for non-essentials. When interviews finally end, make time for something—a stiff drink, a super-fancy dinner, a hot-stone massage, whatever!—that will make you feel amazing. This is non-negotiable.

Last year, to get me through ocis, my genius boyfriend promised to make lobster rolls after my last interview. (We once spent four days crisscrossing the state of Maine in search of the perfect lobster roll—so, suffice it to say, this was a huge incentive for me.) Throughout the ups and downs of those 17-minute interviews, I had my eye on the prize: lobster. I can’t tell you how blissful it was to come home on Friday evening, change into an old flannel shirt, and boil up some delicious crustaceans in my teeny kitchen. Of course, the following Monday I looked at my bank statement and winced. Such is the cumulative effect of fancy suits, umpteen taxi rides, and lobster dinners. But believe me—the lobsters were worth it.

Don’t get flummoxed by terrible, horrible, no good, very bad questions. This is inevitable. No matter how prepared you are, somebody, somewhere will ask a question that throws you off your game. Smile, take a second, blunder through it, and move on. During in-firm interviews, there was one seemingly innocuous question that really got me flustered. Whenever I visited a firm for the second time, somebody would ask: “Is there anyone else you’d like to meet?” Typically I had just been introduced to 37 different lawyers (whose names I had promptly forgotten) and my pockets were already bulging with business cards. And typically I had no answer, since it felt presumptuous to demand an audience with the managing partner or the high-flying litigator I had read about online.

Then, during interview week itself, other expenses will inevitably crop up. There’s dry cleaning, snacks in the path, large quantities of coffee in between interviews, and possibly an emergency foray into the pharmacy for Advil (and yet more pantyhose). Not to mention my own personal Waterloo: cab fare. Granted, there are some superior human beings who can conduct 11 articling interviews in 48 hours armed only with a ttc pass and Martin’s Criminal Code. My advice? Be prepared with a general response: I have witnessed this phenomenon firsthand, “Can you introduce me to somebody in your and it was wildly impressive. But if you’re any- pensions group?” or “Is there anyone who’s taken on an interesting pro bono case recently?” thing like me—easily flustered, poor sense of Remember to smile. You’ll seem enthusiastic, direction, liable to trip over yourself and go thoughtful, and engaged—because, of course, tumbling down the ttc escalator—you should you are all these things! set aside money for taxis. Lots of money.

Be unflaggingly kind and generous to your fellow law students. Share taxis, share information, send encouraging texts, and talk each other up during cocktail parties. If you can swing it, plan to meet other students downtown for a quick pep talk between interviews. These five-minute meetings always gave me an incredible boost of energy and confidence.

Truly, I believe that the kindness you demonstrate at times like these—when you’re under pressure, in a competitive environment—speaks volumes about your character. This might be my closet hippie speaking, but I am firmly convinced that, when we put positive energy into the universe, it comes back in spades. At the very least, it can’t hurt.

from the aggressive firm—going to a Leafs game during in-firm week would be sick! (This actually happened to someone last year—and he declined.) A firm asks you whether you would accept if they give you an offer? Absolutely. The Law Society outlaws this kind of pressure, so if a firm tries to use it on you call their bluff—and don’t feel badly about rejecting those rule-breakers on Wednesday. A firm’s your fourth choice? Tell them it’s between them and one other firm. At the end of the day, you want as many offers as you can get —and you might not get offers from your fave three firms. Don’t be naïve. Firms are friendly, but they’re not your friends. The firm that hires you will work you and the firms you reject will forget about you quickly.

ably, I never got around to reading most of them (don’t ask me when, exactly, I was planning to tackle Tony Judt’s 878-page magnum opus Postwar). Still, it was an incredibly restorative moment for me. It’s a funny thing. Somehow—among all the firm tours, the mock interviews, the cdo sessions, and even the well-meaning advice from folks like myself—you can lose sight of your real character and your real aspirations. During the stress of job interviews, carve out some time to reconnect with the things (big and little) that you truly love. You are not wholly defined by those clever anecdotes you’ve rehearsed, nor by the impressive accomplishments listed on your resume. Take a moment to remember this.

Remember, not everyone scores that perfect job right away. Let me be frank: I spent my entire 2L year applying and interviewing for different positions, but I didn’t find a summer job that suited me. The entire process was exhausting and at times demoralising.

Then, a funny thing happened. School ended, the month of May arrived, and I had four months to spend however I liked.

Get excited about the amazing profession you’re about to enter. During my job search, I was repeatedly starstruck by the lawyers I encountered. At Torys, I met the legendary litigator Sheila Block. At Faskens, I spoke with May Cheng, the ip lawyer representing a number of Chinese-Canadian authors in a highprofile plagiarism suit against Penguin Books (Google “Gold Mountain Blues” for details). I chatted with labour lawyers, federal prosecutors, adr experts, ngo execs, and at least one lawyer pursuing his doctorate while working on Bay Street. (Colour me impressed.)

I spent a month working in northern Ontario— swimming in the lake, drinking black coffee in the early morning, listening to folk music, wearing ripped jeans and Birkenstocks. (When I told an eleven-year-old boy that I was studying law, he looked at me in shock: “They’re letting you become a lawyer dressed like that?”) Later in the summer, I conducted some freelance research for a barrister working on a crazy-interesting defamation case. And I had a month-long volunteer placement with the Ontario Court of Justice, shadowing judges and watching the action at busy courthouses like Old City Hall and 311 Jarvis.

I promise you this: no matter where you interview, you will meet some amazing, inspiring, superaccomplished lawyers. So walk into each office excited to meet these insanely talented members of the legal profession. Ask them about their most exciting work, their biggest challenges, the files that make it all worthwhile. These interviews are a golden opportunity to learn more about the crazy, diverse, fascinating profession we are joining. What could be better than that?

Ultimately, I landed a job. I will be articling with the Canadian Civil Liberties Association —an amazing organisation whose work I deeply, deeply respect. Things could not have worked out better for me.

Hang onto your sense of self. One rainy afternoon last October, when I had received a string of disappointing emails, I wandered into Book City in the Annex. Three hours later, I emerged (so much the poorer) staggering under the weight of cookbooks and novels, biographies and histories. Perhaps predict-

Bottom line: I have so much faith that, when we pursue our interests, when we follow our talents, when we put love and energy and positivity into our work, everything falls into place. Really. Work hard and pay attention to the ideas that get you going. Be open-minded about possibilities in the legal profession and beyond. Maybe you won’t believe this right away, but take it from a 3L who’s been there—there’s an exciting career ahead of you. Good luck out there!!!

12 | October 16, 2012

FEATURES

Grand Moot

Photo credits by Matt Brown and David Feldman

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FEATURES

October 16, 2012 | 13

FEATURES/OPINIONS

14 | October 16, 2012

e like to think of ourselves as mysterious, and you probably agree, because you have absolutely no idea who we are. We’re never on campus (except when there’s free food, but more on that later). We used to go here. We still do, technically, and we would be around more if Ashvin didn’t ask us “what we’re doing here” every time we come by. We’re jd/mbas, and this is our mba year. People often ask us “why do an additional degree that is super expensive and that has nothing to do with your legal career?” Beyond the obviousextreme risk aversion ambition—there are tons of hidden, practical benefits to our combined program that we think all prospective applicants should keep in mind.

Why You Should Do a JD/MBA emily debono

(2l) & jacquie richards (2l)

Learn how to network, but remember that you only actually have 5 friends. Probably less. During orientation week, we learned the value of mapping our social networks to maximize the utility of our acquaintances (did you see that jargon, there?). We also learned that if you want to be successful you do not have time for more than five friends. Since you probably want to be successful too, after we visit our career coaches, we promise to let you know how to maximize the closeness of your non-friend relationships in the most efficient way possible before alienating your five remaining real friends because you haven’t left the Business Information Centre in days. And because you keep calling it the Business Information Centre.

Where should the law school hold classes 7 while the new building’s under construction? 8

Realize that there is such thing as a free lunch Are you tired of pizza lunches? Have you ever wished U of T law had catered parties with cinnamon buns, breakfast sandwiches, perfectly portioned salmon salads and full sized bags of candy? Look no further. Even when Rotman means to feed someone else, they’re really feeding you.

Learn to play well with others. You tell yourself you went to law school because of your unusually well-developed critical thinking skills, superior research ability, and love of argument, but think again. At Rotman,

you’ll realize that you really went to law school because of your utterly inadequate social skills, definitely “ justified” sense of superiority (insecurity) and inability to let anyone else have the final edit. Thankfully, in your mba you’ll learn the value of teamwork… by scrutinizing everyone else’s contributions to your projects and changing everything, immediately.

Learn to describe everyday occurrences in yet another type of incomprehensible jargon. Many of the jokes you used to make at law school have internal validity but not external validity; this is to say that nobody outside of law school understands your super-funny “reasonable man” jokes. In data modelling class, you will learn that contamination between control and treatment groups will render your experiment useless; this

Law School Tuition charlie hatt (class of

to make room for something called “real life skills”, we’re newly convinced we’re as hilarious, witty and awesome as we always knew we were. “People like my Facebook statuses, and only half are family members!” says one completely anonymous female jd/mba who at law school was chronically starved for attention. Another unfunny law student received this facebook wall post regarding her infallible wit: “Lol (insert her joke)… I’m stealing that line, wow ahahaha.” She has been repeating this undoubtedly hilarious joke ever since, and it keeps getting funnier.

Gain an in-depth understanding of economics, particularly the laws of Supply and Demand. We recently learned that when supply goes down, “quantity demanded” goes up. Real life application: did you know the male /female ratio at Rotman is roughly 77:23? After interviewing several new jd/mbas, we selected the most intelligent comments on economic analysis for this article. One first year jd/mba noted that attractive men can now be described as “perfect specimens of demand!” Says another female jd/mba (definitely not Emily), “This is irrelevant, I’m not desperate at all! I do have a funny story about that though… it’s not for this article…”

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2012)

t’s still early days in term one. For the incoming class of 2012 this means a steady parade of professors and administrators telling you that you are really something—U of T Law is the best school, and since a school is just the sum of its students, you must be the best students. It is all very flattering and far be it from me to tell you not bask in the adulation, I sure did. The challenges which lie ahead of you will also be hinted at— exams, job interviews, etc—and many of you will begin to think hard about what sort of career you would like, and what you need to do to get there. Between school work, charting out your career path, and involving yourself in law school social life there will be time for little else.

But please, during your three years, save a little time for this question: what kind of school is U of T Law? It is an open question, a subjective question— and ultimately an important question. Understanding exactly what I mean here requires a little background. A brief (recent) history of U of T Law tuition fees Over the last fifteen years, the school has undergone a tremendous amount of change. In the early to mid 1990s, the student body was smaller and the tuition fees were regulated by the provincial government at $4,000 per year. Though the slow economy of the early 1990s led to a downturn in student hiring, a student of this era could generally cover the costs of school through the combination of a summer job (not necessarily in law) and government student loans. In the mid-1990s tuition fees for law schools in Ontario were deregulated and U of T Law under the leadership of Dean Ron Daniels (1998-2005)

embraced this new reality. Seeking to make U of T Law more international both in focus and in stature—a 'Harvard of the North'—Dean Daniels championed the cause for higher tuition fees. He argued that higher fees would attract and retain better professors, create a more intimate classroom experience, and allow for a broad range of clinical experiences. Moreover, a robust and well-funded financial aid system would protect student access at the front-end of law school and student career choice at the back-end, regardless of debt levels. Many students and some faculty (notably Jim Phillips, Denise Rheaume and Martha Schaffer) pushed back on this vision but Daniels' vision carried the day. Fast forward to 2006. First year tuition now stands at $17,280 and Dean Moran is running the faculty. She brings a softer touch to facultystudent relations (see: Muffin Madness) but also a strong will to build upon Daniels’ vision. If tuition increases under Dean Daniels were sporadic (14% one year, 0% the next) and often contested, Dean Moran’s tenure marked the point when they became regularized and normalized. Every year since 2005/2006, first year tuition has increased by 8%. It took seven years for first year tuition to rise to its current level of $27,420. At the current pace—and the faculty has given no indication that the rate of increase will be slowed—first year tuition rates will reach $40,289 by 2017. Taking the twenty year view, this would represent a 1,000% increase in the tuition fees at U of T Law since 1997.

You get what you pay for? Last year, the sls released a report called Perspectives on a Decade: the Vision for U of T Law which compared the Daniels era promises with current realities at the faculty. The goal of the

is to say that a combination of law and mba jokes made by the same individual will result in literally no one understanding your jokes. Moreover, you’ll discover that everyday items can have new, exciting and career-relevant names that don’t mean anything to anyone. For example: there is no such thing as a “library” in the business world. If you need to research, you do it at the Business Information Centre.

You’re suddenly way, way funnier. We’ve literally never been funny. In fact, before starting the mba, people routinely informed us that we are distinctly unfunny and should stop trying to be because we’re too awkward and embarrassingly un–self aware. However, after just three weeks of mba with colleagues whose work experience wiped out their sense of humour

report was to create the beginnings of an institutional memory for students, so that they might have a baseline from which they can judge if they get what they pay for. You should read the report (estimated time commitment: 10 minutes) and use the information to help form your own conclusions. My own conclusion, after altogether too much thought on the issue, is that students don’t get what they pay for, they get what they demand. Accountability will only be the product of an informed student body exerting pressure on the faculty to live up to their promises or, if the promises simply cannot be kept, to admit that U of T Law cannot have its cake and eat it too. It is scandalous that the financial aid pot has increased at half the rate of tuition during Dean Moran’s tenure—but the fact of the matter is that students have not demanded anything different. In fact, perhaps the greater scandal is that most students haven’t even noticed. If you as a student have any interest in the longterm direction of your school, the first step is to inform yourself.

The Bigger Picture In Professor Stewart’s Hail & Farewell speech to the graduating class of 2012, he began his remarks by noting that our class entered the school in the shadow of the Great Recession and left the school with the shadow still looming over us. I hope the same will not be said at your convocation, but who can say? The uncertainty in the global economic climate is open ended at this point and we do not know when (if?) 1990s or mid-2000s style growth will return. Lawyers never feel the pain of a recession too deeply but a poor economic climate nevertheless affects hiring in the private bar. For those interested in government employment, the debts burdening governments at all levels are likely to slow hiring and wage

Suits! Everywhere! Sexy sexy.

Adult lockers Full sized. Sexy suit sized, to be more specific. And all. Yours.

You can get As again!! Before you call us arrogant and presumptuous, let us explain—the grading system at Rotman does for your own conception of your intelligence what vanity sizing does for your perception of your butt. About 40% of mba s get an A- or higher, and the lowest mark you can possibly get is a B-. No, really. That’s one notch above a failure. And The Star thought our new grading system was relaxed…

growth. Anecdotal reports from job-seeking students generally take the form of “it ain’t what it used to be”. Gone—long gone—are the days of guaranteed hire backs on Bay St. The common response around U of T Law to this emerging reality is that U of T students will be fine—we’re the best, remember? While this belief has some truth, it can only be true to a degree, not true in the absolute. The global economy does not take its cues from the school on your transcript. Neither do the repayment commitments on your Scotiabank loans. The Great Recession has begun to impact students, yet there is little evidence that the faculty has adjusted to this new reality. Meanwhile, a regrettable truth is that we do not even have the data necessary to judge the larger effects of U of T Law’s drive towards Harvard or Yale like status. What is the median total debt level of graduating students? We don’t know, it is not tracked. How many students feel pressured by looming debt and a tighter labour market when deciding their career path? We don’t know, it is not tracked. Why do some students turn down their offers to come to U of T Law in the first place? We don’t know, it is not tracked. Whether U of T Law continues on the path set by Dean Daniels is, of course, dependant on many factors beyond simply student feedback or advocacy. However, the pressures of the times will only increase the importance of student discussion the faculty’s vision and its effects. You may be of the opinion that U of T Law’s evolution since the 1990s has been on the whole beneficial for students. The point is not that all students agree. My opinions must be quite obvious but I would be loathe for you to accept them uncritically. Rather, the point is that students discuss the issue in the first place, that students save a little time for the question—what sort of school is U of T Law?

OPINIONS

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The Wright Man

On which side of the 49th parallel would you rather practice law?

hordes of sixth-tier law school graduates (including those from schools with the name “Loyola” outside of Chicago or Los Angeles) wreck the bar pass rate; so do people without louis tsilivis l any kind of law degree. Yep, several states let you write the bar exam without a law degree, anadians have been comparing them- including California and Wyoming. selves to their cousins south of the border for over a century. Americans, for an Second, even if there is a Canadian articling equal length of time, have been ignoring Canada crisis (which I described in a Wright Man piece while striving to create civilization-advancing last fall), graduates of accredited law schools in innovations, preserve the individual freedoms America—unless you attended one of a select of man, and to remake the globe in their image. few schools—have it much worse. Some schools While Canada is the womb that bore and the intentionally mislead or lie about their employment bosom that nurtured marginally talented Cau- statistics by including figures for graduates who casians such as Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey, and are under-employed. The non-profit organization Justin Bieber, America is the land where their Law School Transparency found that a significant gifts were commercialized by an empire of majority of the “employed after graduation” figures Hollywood and Manhattan consultants and for Santa Clara, Florida a&m, and Detroit-Mercy unleashed upon world society—only to have are actually underemployed jds working as Canada remind all other counties that these paralegals or in non-law jobs. people are, in fact, “from Canada”. Third, Canada has a much better date for In carrying on the great tradition of comparing Thanksgiving. We stuff ourselves with turkey, ourselves to a country that does not know who lamb, curried chicken, and pork chow mein our Prime Minister is, I am going to justify why (consider our rich, ethnic gastronomical realities our society is a better one in which to practice law. by virtue of the multicultural quilt that is Canada) at a much more strategic time of year than our First off, Canadian provinces have much higher Fahrenheit-using friends south of the 49th; our bar pass rates than u.s. states. Thanks to the Thanksgiving is in that perfect sweet spot supply management on the part of provincial between summer and Christmas. (Note: this is law societies, the real barrier to entry for law in my weakest argument, and by sandwiching it in Canada–the cull of would-be lawyers–is getting the middle of better arguments I hope its lack of into law school. In the United States, however, potency will be forgiven.) law schools are just as prolific as h& r Blocks— and there are several to which you can gain Fourth, Canadian law school tuition rates are admission if you can spell your name and fill much lower than in America. While this is not out some basic forms. Not only do America’s as much of an issue if you get a jd from a top

(2 )

October 16, 2012 | 15

American school and go on to practice at a large New York firm, under and unemployed American graduates can see their young lives crushed by compounding debt payments. American graduates wishing to practice public interest law are either prevented from doing so at the onset of their careers (and must begin work in private practice to pay off debt) or must face the Leviathan of student loan payments with a salary that cannot make ends meet. Fifth, Canada scores better than America on a wide range of quality of life factors. While this reason is not particular to lawyers in either country, knowing that most people—and the worst off—in your country have a relatively good quality of life does make most liberal urban lawyers feel somewhat better about the world that their work serves to maintain. Lastly, the judicial culture in our parliamentary Dominion is much more reasonable and much less partisan than that of our republican neighbour. Twenty-three American states elect judges; in eight of those judges actually run as members of political parties. Research by members of this law school’s faculty found that, in California, the most likely reason why one judge’s ruling would be overturned is if the second judge was appointed by a governor from a different political party than the one that appointed the first judge. In Canada, on the other hand, we have a Supreme Court composed of both Conservative and Liberal appointees that often makes unanimous judgments and goes against the government’s wishes. America has a vision of rights that are inalienable such that limits on campaign spending are unconstitutional. Modern-day Justice consists of asking what the wealthy, Protestant slaveholding males who signed the Declaration of Independence would have thought of the internet had it existed in their day. Canada has a progressive Charter of Rights and Freedoms that is meant to be interpreted liberally and broadly—and which allows its freedoms to be reasonably limited.

The New York Times and American Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg have called our Charter the new model for rights documents and constitutions around the world, while “We the People” has lost its appeal with the people. Canada has a more collegial legal profession, a more egalitarian and less winner-take-all approach to the legal industry, a more reasonable and progressive judiciary, and a society with a better quality of life. While you really cannot beat the cultural gems being pumped out of America (Lena Dunham’s Girls kicks off its much-anticipated season two this January), Netflix makes these products available on both sides of the border. It’s a clear win for Canada. (Oh, and Hayden Christensen is from here.)

OPINIONS

Point | Counterpoint 16 | October 16, 2012

What makes for better Pub Night venues: dance clubs or pubs? josh stark (3l)

& michael

portner gartke

POINT

Please don’t stop the Music. Music. Music.

On an average Thursday you go to school. You sit down. You talk to your friends. You stand up before sitting down again, in a different classroom. You make new friends. So when night rolls out and the week is over, forgive me if what I really want to do is dance. And that’s what you should want, too.

(3l)

mpg: I’m really good! Did you read that article about the Controversy everyone is talking about? Girl: Yes! It was so outrageous. Isn’t this a great bar? mpg: Yes it is! Nice talking to you. Now that we have the minimal social connection required for me to add you on facebook, I’m going to go repeat this conversation with another similarly attractive female, for maximal social utility. Girl: Nice to see you!

There is a place and time for conversation, for exchanging experiences and teasing out the awesome in the person in front of you. That place The classic benefits of dancing are obvious and and time is not 10 loud numerous. It’s an incredminutes at the Fox and ible card io workout. there is nothing as sincere Fiddle. It’s a great stress reliever. and true as getting ‘pon de It produces the most floor and not caring if you But we need to say more memorable pub night moments. If you’re a look dumb when you do it. about dancing itself. You might think that you’re naturally sweaty person, dancing helps conceal this [thanks for the tip, losing the ability to communicate when you Luke!]. It also provides for more social flexibility. step out onto that dance floor. You are wrong. Dancing is a language, friends. And it is a supeEver been trapped in an awful conversation rior language, about us politics? Not a problem on the dance because it cannot be used to lie. There is nothing floor. Just close your eyes and let the music take more honest as moving your body with the music, you. Take you away from those boring people. there is nothing as sincere and true as getting Now, mpg, if you’re not already convinced, you ‘pon de floor and not caring if you look dumb may be overestimating the depth of the conver- when you do it. sations you have at pub night. Don’t take it personally. But search your memory: how good, And really, that’s why this point/counterpoint is fundamentally unfair. I am tasked with really, are those exchanges? What great defending dancing with mere words, printed dialogue are we sacrificing when we move to words, static on this page. I would rather defend the dance floor? it with an improvised routine set to American Boy. And yes, mpg, that is a standing offer. mpg: Oh hey! How are you? Girl: I’m great! Yourself?

COUNTERPOINT

The world could do with less of Josh’s dancing On an average Thursday Josh goes to school, and sits down. When he’s not browsing Reddit or reading Matthew Yglesias (some blogger you’ve probably never heard of), he talks to his six law school friends, all of whom are in 3L.

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As Ashvin said, completely un-ironically, Pub Night “is your primary opportunity to make

michael portner gartke

I would also add that Pub Night is for hitting on people, because I’m shameless like that. In my experience, these two important objectives are much more easily accomplished at nondance establishments. These bars—such as the Duke, its classier cousin the Bedford, and PubNight-blacklisted Hemingway’s—have lighting and music levels more conducive to a) recognizing the person with whom you are speaking and b) hearing the person with whom you are speaking —without having to awkwardly and intimately shout into each other’s ears.

October 16, 2012 | 17

Word on the Street

connections with a large number of people from different years in your casual social setting— people who will be your friends, contacts and colleagues for life.”

Moreover, with all due respect to Josh’s particular skill set, my personal experience is that law students tend to be better verbal communicators The only way Josh can relieve himself after than they are dance communicators. I present a such an apocalyptically boring day is to get sweaty and grimy on some club’s dance floor. much better side of myself in lively conversation than I do when I attempt With Luke Gill. I would also add that the grotesque movements When Josh bothers to talk Pub Night is for hitting that Josh calls “dancing.” to anyone at Pub Night it Crucially, no one will is about unapologetically – on people, because I’m ever turn down your partisan us political shameless like that. request to dance at the commentary. Did you Duke—because there’s no dance floor. [Alknow that Josh identifies with the socially-liberal though I suppose that if you for some reason did values and fairness-based economic policies of ask someone to dance there they would always the Democratic Party? Probs not, as Josh doesn’t turn you down.] like meeting new people. That is truly a shame, because there are a great many fascinating people in ut Law, many of whom I have been fortunate to get to know at Pub Night. [This is the part of Counterpoint where I tout my own bona fides as a welcoming and friendly 3L and make ad homonym attacks on Josh suggesting that he is a jerk. Also, Josh has 80 more Facebook friends than me.]

OPINIONS

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(3l)

Janna Young, 2L:

Jeremy Nemers, 3L:

Vanessa Chung, 1L:

Laura McGee, 2L:

Roll up the Rim. That’s it. I haven’t had my Tim Horton’s; I’m not creative yet today. Just a tea from the Grounds of Appeal. I put vanilla in it though so I’m quite happy with myself.

I’ve never played either. In fact I’ve never heard of McDonalds Monopoly.

Tim Hortons. Instant gratification, that’s why. And McDonalds requires more than one trip, which is quite frankly unhealthy in every respect.

Tim Hortons is way better. mpg is the only person over the age of eighteen who plays McDonalds Monopoly.

I would say that my goal is to have the real Boardwalk. And Park Place too.

No, what’s that? In all fairness, I’ve never played McDonalds Monopoly.

No. What is Boardwalk?

Marita Zouravlioff, 1L:

Andrew Clark, 3L:

Neither really gives me that rush anymore.

I can’t answer this question because they’re both awesome.

If I did, I wouldn’t owe Scotiabank a small fortune.

While my excited and occasionally-affected state at Pub Nights can make it difficult to remember the exact conversations I have, I always remember the people I meet. I’m no Andrew Robertson when it comes to knowing everybody, but I make it my weekly mission to try.

Which is better: McDonalds Monopoly or Tim Hortons Roll up the Rim? Do you have Boardwalk?

I don’t play Monopoly because I’m 23.

Not yet…soon.

Josh, I’d be happy to see your improvised routine. I suspect it will be much more compelling than your argument.

Robin McNamara, 2L:

Leo Elias, 3L:

Bring back mandatory gym class.

Puppies. We need more puppies. I think we should release them in Bora.

Becky Lauks, 3L:

Alex Condon, 1L:

I feel like they should encourage law students to have more nonlaw-school friends.

Maybe switching up some of the pizza lunches. They’re always giving away pizza at these lunch things. (Ed Note: uv endorses this solution.)

What could the law school do to better promote health and wellness?

Iris E, 3L:

Yale Hertzman, 1L:

Albert should run a seminar.

Mandatory yoga classes at lunch.

What are your thoughts on the temporary building?

Benjamin Sharma, 3L: It’s gonna be awful. It just will be. There’s nothing they can do.

Vlad Calina, 2L: At least it’s not dilapidated?

Aruna Dahanayake, 2L:

Gord Houseman, 3L:

I think it’s great that we’re so close to Flavelle, except I’ve heard that there are no power sockets in the new building, which is a big problem. If they had told us this in advance then we could have given feedback …so now I’m kind of worried about it.

I think it’s slightly inappropriate with the prank they pulled on us during Orientation Week. (Gord assures us that all O-Week leaders will know what he’s talking about.)

Sarah Macchione, 2L:

Kathleen ElhattonLake, 1L: It can’t be any worse than blh.

I think it’s great—it’s really pretty in there. and Pratt Library has pods that you can sit in—they’re corrals where you’re enclosed by 3 walls and a door.

OPINIONS

18 | October 16, 2012

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New Building Campaign & the Rise of Private Funding The New Building Campaign and the Creeping Privatization in the Faculty of Law

With Hal Jackman’s $11 million total donation to the Faculty of Law, the New Building Campaign is now over 90% of the way towards its private fundraising goal of $53 million. This figure, coupled with $18 million in support from the University of Toronto, will finance what promises to be a state-of-the-art facility. This is an exciting time for the Faculty of Law. But in addition to the excitement the New Building Campaign brings, it also raises important questions about the future of our law school and post-secondary education in Ontario more broadly. What is the appropriate role of private money in public education? What are the implications of the gradual clawback of public funding for postsecondary education? When is corporate sponsorship appropriate, and when does it cross the line? How we answer these questions will have broadranging implications.

Boundless and the Erosion of Public Funding The New Building Campaign is part of the University of Toronto-wide Boundless Campaign. Launched last year, Boundless has the aggressive goal of raising $2 billion in private funding. It is the largest university fundraising campaign in Canadian history. It’s also an example of the creeping privatization of post-secondary education in Ontario. The growing role of private funding in Ontario’s universities has been necessitated by the gradual decline in public support.

According to the Canadian Association of University Teachers, government transfers as a share of total university operating revenue fell from 83.8 percent in 1978 to less than 57.5 percent by 2008.

Underfunding has been particularly acute in Ontario. According to the Ontario Confederation of University Faculty Associations, “[b]y almost any measure, provincial public funding for Ontario universities has lagged behind every other province for nearly two decades. Reckoned in terms of inflation-adjusted per student funding, provincial support bottomed out in 2002-03, rose again for a few years, and has been falling again since 2008-09. Operating expenditures follow a similar pattern.” Stagnating public funding has been offset by rising tuition and increased reliance on private fundraising. While private donations have been crucial in meeting our funding needs, giving firms naming rights to classrooms cheapens and commercializes spaces once reserved for scholarship and the pursuit of knowledge. It also reaffirms U of T’s role as a Bay Street feeder school. The rise of private money in post-secondary education can also be at odds with academic freedom. In fairness, we have seen nothing to suggest any direct threat to academic freedom in the New Building Campaign. Nonetheless, the controversies surrounding the Munk School of Global Affairs and the recently-rejected proposal for former rim ceo Jim Balsillie’s Centre for International Governance Innovation (cigi) to establish a school of international law at Osgoode remind us that we must be cautious when private money gets involved in public education.

The Broader Implications of this Model

But could a law school with a strong social justice mandate and weak connections to big firms fare similarly?

Reliance on philanthropy and corporate sponsorship for basic physical infrastructure risks leading to a stratified system of leaders and laggards. This might be good for our egos at U of T law, but probably not for the profession and the public interest. If other law schools are to rely on private sources for the majority of their funding for new facilities, this will also exert pressure on them to abandon public interest-oriented endeavors in favour of those which will be a bigger draw for well-to-do donors. Public withdrawal, private sponsorship and skyrocketing tuition Eroding public funding, corporate sponsorship and our skyrocketing tuition must be seen as interconnected phenomena. They all reflect a trend towards creeping privatization. Tuition at the Faculty of Law wasn’t always so expensive. Eighteen years ago it was $2,451. Twelve years ago it was $8,000. The deregulation of professional student tuition in Ontario opened the doors for the dramatic rise in tuition at the Faculty of Law. As an sls Financial Aid Committee Report from 2010 noted, tuition fees at the Faculty of Law began to skyrocket in the 2002/2003 academic year when then-Dean Ron Daniels recommended

josh mandryk

(2l)

the “Raising our Sights Plan” to increase tuition from $14,000 to $22,000 by 2007/2008. This plan was accepted on the basis that a robust financial aid system would prevent the high sticker price from negatively impacting accessibility or limiting career choices. Unfortunately, as the sls Report noted, by 2010 growth in tuition fees had significantly outstripped financial aid-rising 68% and 26% respectively.

The Path Forward The trends towards creeping corporatization, stagnating public funding and skyrocketing tuition show no signs of reversal. Classrooms in the new building will be named after Bay Street firms. Per-student funding for post-secondary education in Ontario continues to lag behind the rest of Canada. Tuition in the faculty of law will soon exceed $30,000, and given the Administration’s goal of competing with the likes of Harvard and Yale the climb will likely continue.

ast year, the Toronto Star and the National Post both published articles criticising our new grading scheme. They’re not alone in thinking that this scheme is imperfect; I complained about the same thing in the previous issue of uv. But what The Star and The Post took exception to was the perceived mollycoddling of law students, not the grading scheme itself (for example, one of the articles is titled, “Work is stressful. Don’t make law school easier to cope with”). With October being Mental Health Awareness Month, now is a good time to revisit exactly how problematic this mindset can be. Some of our peers have already written letters to the editors of these newspapers pointing out that lawyers are already at a disproportionately high risk of developing mental illness and engaging in longterm substance abuse, which means that the existing system really does not work for a lot of people.

For one thing, these assertions deny the reality of students facing challenging personal circumstances. Assistant Dean Alexis Archbold noted that the serious problems that students discuss with her every year range from the challenges of living with conditions such as depression or bipolar disorder, to the immensely diff icult circumstances arising from sexual assault, serious illness, or the death of a close friend or relative. Sometimes, the lack of support for a student facing such a situation can contribute to drastic action

ranging from dropping out of school to, tragically, suicide. Everybody loses when students do not realise their full potential. Earlier this year, Queen’s University released a discussion paper on mental health in response to the spate of student suicides at the school during 2010 and 2011. This paper addresses the core problems: promoting an inclusive and supportive environment focussing on mental health awareness. This doesn’t mean that Queen’s will graduate worse students—only that the students they have will be better equipped to deal with problems in their future professional and personal problems. This is particularly important at a time where, according to the discussion paper, most postsecondary institutions are reporting an increase in the number of students with mental health concerns. One important criticism of the types of measures that the law school is implementing—in particular

You know that uv is struggling for content when the best joke our editorial staff can come up with is “mpg writing a review of Fifty Shades of Grey.” But the joke’s on the ed board —I have not only read the book; I am prepared to subject it to thoughtful and careful analysis. Seeing as how this is the first book I’ve read since high school, I don’t really know how to do a book review. I rely on my longstanding gimmick.

No book review would be complete without a quick summary of the plot. So here goes: a hot and sassy 22-year-old virgin college senior agrees to interview a young media baron—who is also her shitty university’s major benefactor— for her school newspaper (a publication that couldn’t hold a candle to uv). He is irresistibly sexy but proposes a contract in which she will basically become his sex slave. Naturally she figures that he’d be the perfect man to deflower her. As she ponders the contract, they have sex like a million times.

8 7

And that’s pretty much it.

A more charitable reading of the plot presents us with several significant themes and broad questions that are relevant to law students. The

the review of grade policy—is that they go beyond the realm of support for students in need of it and force students to confront mental health issues “needlessly.” While no one is eager to face unnecessary stress or be confronted with difficult and painful questions, one of the biggest problems for people struggling with mental health problems is stigmatisation. This is unlikely to change without discussion surrounding mental health and broad changes—something about which the Queen’s discussion paper is very emphatic. There is much discussion to be had about what works in terms of mental health strategy, and even about what kind of actions should be taken. But schools should not have to wait until a crisis before they feel justified in taking action. Mental health initiatives don’t result in students that cannot deal with real world stress; they are the best way to equip students to deal with what life (and law) throws their way.

book’s protagonist–the exotically named Anastasia Steele–is a confident young woman who, despite plentiful opportunities (one being her boyishly handsome bff, Jose) has been saving herself, presumably for someone special.

Pappajohn and Sansregret in first year crim, it takes some pretty kinky shit to get us going.

My 1L crim map reads as follows: “Pappajohn v The Queen scc 1980: Mistaken, honestlyheld though unreasonable belief negatives That the physically and emotionally abusive requisite mental element to rape. Mens rea for relationship documented in Fifty Shades rape = to intend to have sex with non-consenting seems like a plausible version of what Anastasia partner. Must be an air of reality to claim of was looking for undoubtedly speaks to our “she consented” i.e. evidence to prove it. Sansregret shared incapacity as law students to experience v The Queen scc 1985: an honest belief must real emotion and intimacy. Much has also been encompass more than fact of consent; it must written about the sexual politics of bdsm rela- include a belief that it has been freely given and tionships that are explored in depth in e.l . not procured by threats. You can’t use the James’s first novel; the author delves into the Pappajohn defense when subjectively aware of fundamental tension between sexual empower- the need to inquire into consent but deliberately ment and dominant/submissive relationships. decline to inquire because you don’t want to And other serious stuff like that. know the truth. That is wilful blindness.”

A more realistic reading of the plot suggests that it contains seven hundred sex scenes because its author hoped to shock her readers. Nothing makes a septuagenarian gasp like a sex scene with more detail than her lace petticoats. Like the scene where Christian Grey wears a leather glove. omg. Law students are a different crowd, however. After reading the facts of

The relevance of the above passage to Fifty Shades should be clear: You can’t just use your incredible sex appeal to extract a helpless admirer’s consent to a bondage contract. Nor can you deliberately decline to inquire if this is what your admirer really wants, just because you don’t want to know. Either that or I totally don’t get crim law.

By far the most implausible aspect of Fifty Shades, however, is the backstory of its antagonist. Christian Grey is a twenty-sevenyear-old self-made media mogul billionaire who also happens to be an orphan. Do you have any idea how long it takes to build media empires? Even if he managed to complete his undergrad degree by age twenty (which we know he completed at Ana’s uni), that only gives him seven years to become the baller he is in the book. Ted Turner—founder of the Goodwill Games as well as the less-impactful cnn–inherited his father’s media company and still took sixteen years to make his first $100 million (the 1970s equivalent to a $1 billion).

It is entirely possible that the many questions posed by Fifty Shades of Grey are answered by its two sequels: Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed. Maybe Anastasia and Christian are soul mates. Maybe Christian co-founded Fox News when he was five. Maybe Christian’s biologically improbable stamina derives from advanced stem cell therapy. In all probability, I will never find out. Somehow, the introduction of a riding crop into the mix is not enough to make any one of Fifty Shades’ forty thousand sex scenes distinct from the others. Far from being shocking, Fiddy Shades is actually (quite) boring. If—like the majority of ut Law students—you can’t get through an entire edition of uv, you probably won’t finish the trilogy. In the event that you do, uv welcomes your Letters to the Editor to fill us in.

C Student Case Summaries: The Insite Case

For students who care about public and accessible post-secondary education and a diverse profession with a concern for the public interest, it’s a fight worth fighting.

(2l) Other people disagree. Many law students say that all this talk about mental health is just “stressing them out.” Some professors and lawyers point out that they have also been through law school. Changing the experience, they opine— by, for example, offering healthy options for stress reduction or changing the letter grade system to labels such as “Pass” and “Honours” —will result in ill-prepared, lower quality lawyers.

(3l)

Reversing these trends requires pressuring not only the Administration in the Faculty of Law, but also the broader University of Toronto and the Government of Ontario.

writer celebrates her first submission containing 0% sarcasm… almost

bhuvana sankaranarayanan

A Book Review of 50 Shades of Grey in the Form of a Top 10 List michael portner gartke

Should Law Schools Be Proactive About Mental Health? uv

October 16, 2012 | 19

In which uv tackles another subject like—Pho Hung’s demise— 2 that is already months out of date.

The transferability of this model should also be called into question. With strong connections and physical proximity to Bay Street, the administration did an impressive job raising substantial funds.

Could the University of Windsor, for instance, which places fewer graduates on Bay Street and lacks the physical proximity to the financial district be able to raise funds in a similar way?

DIVERSIONS

ultravires.ca

luke gill (a c student)

Matt: Hey, Luke. I know that you actually got a straight C last year, and I’m…

Matt: Oh… yeah I don’t read footnotes.

Luke: What... the fuck... are you talking about?

Luke: I used to read them exclusively. Then I always had something to say in my small group that would just blindside everyone. Anyway, we’ve read the headnotes...

Matt: Unfortunately I don’t have time to explain because we need to wrap this up in the next 250 words, so... hey! I just saw the word discretion, which is a signal to everyone in the legal community to fucking check out. Also, I’m seeing a lot of talk about interjurisdictional immunity. So, if I’m the provincial government and am trying to provide heroin, and the federal government outlaws heroin, how do we not get Federal Paramountcy?

Matt: Well, the only thing that matters is the holding. And based on what I’m seeing here--

Luke: Just stupid? Matt: Yeah, like pretty dumb. So I think we might be the most qualified people at uv to explain important Supreme Court decisions. Now, according to sun tv news the scc really fucked the dog on the Insite case so I think we should check it out. Let’s take a look at the headnote. Luke: Where all C students start (and usually end). Matt: Okay, it looks like we’ve got some big sob story to start us off. I’d be depressed too if I lived in Vancouver. We’ll just... Luke: …Skip right to the bottom. According to the final paragraph of the headnotes, doctors have a right to inject people with heroin because... of section 7 of the Charter? Matt: I don’t really remember section 7. Or any of those parts with numbers. I figured no prof would ask us to do math on an exam. Luke: Well, the Charter is an appendix to the Constitution.

matt brown (just an idiot)

Luke: Whoa, whoa—are you actually reading the case?

Luke: Christ on a cross - every time you think you’re having a nice conversation about Constitutional law someone has to bring up abortion. So, now you can shoot heroin and then abort your baby. Matt: Not “can...” Must.

Matt: No, it’s all in Keir’s summary. So, what I’m getting here is that... the government has a right to... no, an obligation to... provide heroin?

Luke: I just Control-F’d the word sex.

Luke: Federalism is crazy.

Matt: …

Matt: You mean the Constitution.

Luke: So... the Constitution says that the government has to give us heroin?

Luke: Well, what about cooperative federalism? It’s like a potluck: the province brings the heroin and the feds bring the hookers. At least, that was my reading of Bedford.

Luke: Are those not the same thing?

Matt: Not literally, but it’s all about formal equality and how if one person gets something then everyone else gets it, too. In this case, we all get heroin. Luke: Okay, yeah, because I just Control+F’d the Constitution and heroin is totally not in there. Matt: Well, it’s a living tree, Luke. Get it? A living tree? Smoking trees? Well the Charter is a living tree. And then I guess that marijuana tree grew up into a heroin... tree. Because of the jcpc and Lord Halsbury's and Trudeau and whatnot…

Matt: I honestly don’t know. Okay, for the grand finale, which Supreme Court Justice do you think shoots heroin?

Matt: Our right to life includes horse and hookers. Luke: It’s like in Crank 2: Jason Statham had a right to adrenaline because he needed it to live.

Luke: I don’t know. Is there any way we can narrow it down? Were there any dissenting judges? Where would I even find that information?

Matt: So that is...

Matt: Scan the case for L'Heureux-Dubé?

Luke: A persuasive authority, yes.

Luke: She totally does.

Matt: I don’t know. Don’t you remember how in Morgentaler—

Matt and Luke’s 1L case summaries are available for a low, one-time fee of $600.

DIVERSIONS

20 | October 16, 2012

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The Legal Profession

DIVERSIONS

ultravires.ca

To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) This is a great movie adaptation of a classic novel. If you haven’t seen it (because you’ve been living under a rock), you should. Atticus Finch is, in addition to a gentleman and a scholar, the paradigm of an ethical lawyer, which means that watching this film should count for some lppe credit.

If you think that being listed under a list of movies that every lawyer should see is the best reason not to see a film (and hey, who could blame you?), note that the film was listed in the National Film Registry, and ranks 25th on the afi’s tenth anniversary list of greatest American movies. What we’re trying to say is that it’s independently acclaimed.

Twelve Angry Men (1957) This drama explores the discussion of a jury as they deliberate on a whether or not to acquit someone based on reasonable doubt. The way that personal prejudices of the jurors play into the decision-making process is worth watching at least once, especially for any budding litigator. There is a 1997 version of the same film for those who don’t like black and white, and really like Tony Soprano (well, James Gandolfini, but still).

The Devil’s Advocate (1997) Afraid of joining a New York law firm and finding out that you’re expected to sign away your soul? Keanu Reeves does exactly that as a young lawyer recruited by a big New York firm and finds himself working for the devil. Whoa.

Yes, we only included this because every law student has heard one too many times about signing away their souls by working for a big firm. .

luke gill

The Paper Chase (1973) Union Station, Casa Loma, and other recogniWatch this while you’re in law school, prefer- sable areas in Toronto. You’d practically be netably in first year. Based on a novel by a Harvard working with judges by watching this film. law student, this movie perfectly captures the absurd reality of life as a law student with goals Legally Blonde (2001) and expectations that will always be just out of Honestly, this movie is just on here because reach. Most people would find that depressing, when I pitched this article, Matt Brown asked, but you’re a law student, so you’ll be just mas- “Is Legally Blonde on the list?”, and I politely ochistic and curious enough to try it anyway. said, “Um, I hadn’t thought about that one” in Besides, watching a movie about law school is a really order to avoid saying, “Why on earth would good way to procrastinate on readings and other that be on the list?”, and he responded, “Well, it tasks that are actually related to law school. should be.” If you actually haven’t seen this ... well, it’s okay, I guess. Conviction (2010) Why did you go to law school? In this movie, My Cousin Vinny (1992) Hilary Swank plays a working mother who puts You would have thought that there wasn’t herself through law school to appeal her brother’s much that was funny about murder, but if you murder conviction after he exhausts all his chances watched Chicago (above) or this movie, then to appeal his conviction through public defenders. you’d know better. The tagline for this is “There This feel-good movie is the perfect antidote to have been many courtroom dramas that have the bitterness and cynicism of law student life. glorified The Great American Legal System. This is not one of them.” Two friends charged Chicago (2002) with murder have to rely on an inexperienced You may be wondering what a musical set lawyer, Vinny, when they can’t afford a lawyer. in the Jazz Age has to do with law. But, as no- Vinny eventually ends up being a stellar litigator body said ever, first comes an appreciation for after many comic mishaps. Worth watching if jazz music, then, before you know it, comes only because your family will also one day call murder. Billy Flynn is the real unsung hero of you and ask you to do legal work for them for free. this musical (ok, fine, he’s not unsung at all, and even sings a number, but the word “unsung” is Witness for the Prosecution (1957) practically designed for characters in musicals) This courtroom drama is based on a muras a lawyer with a reputation for taking on high der mystery written by Agatha Christie. Apart profile cases and securing innocent verdicts. If from drama, suspense, jealousy, and love, this that’s not enough to convince you, the court- film features a barrister who, despite having room scene was shot in Osgoode Hall, with other worked for a long time, still finds something to scenes being shot in Queen’s Park ( just down the learn about human nature through his witnesses. road from the Faculty of Law), Elgin Theatre, The ending is the highlight of this film. This is

The interior features very high ceilings, elegant wooden tables and bars, and a number of other impressive features that you probably have not seen yet. Upon being seated at a table near the window where virtually all of the passersby were able to see us eating there, we carefully reviewed the menu as most of you probably would at McDonalds or Subway. We started with the chicken wings and pork buns, both of which wer unsurprisingly delicious (not that you would know). The chef informed us that the wing sauce was made with chilies, hoisin sauce and something you’ve never heard of. We’ll certainly be using his recipe at home! The pork buns came on steamed bao, and tasted very similar to a point of reference that you would know had you been there.

bhuvana sankaranarayanan (2l) a must-watch for anyone who likes mystery novels or came to law school naively dreaming of the romantic advocates portayed in fiction. If you watch this with a friend or significant other and try to interrupt every few minutes with comments about how courtroom procedure actually works, they will probably leave you.

Philadelphia (1993) This drama was a groundbreaking movie for its time in terms of talking about hiv/aids and homosexuality. Tom Hanks plays a lawyer who is fired from his Philadelphia law firm for having aids, and Denzel Washington plays the homophobic lawyer who represents him. This movie, based on a true story, is worth watching at least once. If it doesn’t make you tear up, you probably went to law school and lost the ability to cry.

Dear Back Row Admirer,

I know the type well and while it can be difficult to break into the heart of the ego-centric keener, it is not impossible. The first question you should ask yourself is whether the individual has any friends. If so, then all you need is the right attitude and you’ll pop up on his radar. You know, the type of moxie it takes to hold up a long line at the super-market to chew the cashier out for a ten cent difference in the advertised price of artichokes and the price on the receipt. Think a big Morrissey/Smiths fan, but without the (questionably) good taste in music, fashion, art, etc.. Basically an overwhelming sense of superiority without any foundation in reality. Adopt this persona and you’ll be bumping uglies in no time.

UV Remembers

Pho Movies Every Law Hung Student Should See A

Point Break (1991) Devil’s Advocate is about a lawyer played by Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves also stars in the highly entertaining film, Point Break, in which his character, fbi Agent Johnny Utah, forms an unlikely friendship with Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), the charismatic leader of a gang of surfers. Need I say more?

A Fish Called Wanda (1988) John Cleese plays a lawyer named Archie. Well, since this is a British comedy crime caper, I guess you would say he plays a barrister named Archie.

Adventures in Babysitting (1987) Elizabeth Shue’s father was a lawyer. In Adventures in Babysitting, Elizabeth Shue plays a babysitter forced to drag the kids into the big city after an unexpected call from her best friend. Hilariousness ensues. Basically, it is Jonah Hill’s latest film, The Sitter, but done in the 80’s and filmed in Toronto!

Final Destination Five (2011) Ok so I don’t really have any way to tie this one in with the law. Nevertheless, you should watch the f ifth installment of the Final

Destination film franchise if only for the fact that they showed real guts in going ahead and making this movie after having labeled the previous installment “The Final Destination.”

Some Like It Hot (1959) I’m using my previous explanation as authority for the rule that the rest of my list does not need to be remotely law related. Some Like It Hot makes the list for being my grandpa’s favourite movie, and a real hoot in my opinion!

fter a long, painful and admirable struggle, Pho Hung passed away peacefully on July 23rd, 2012, with the entire student body and faculty of the University of Toronto Faculty of Law looking on in anguish and a hunger for monosodium glutamate, $6.00 bowls of beef and rice noodles and shared bottles of hot sauce that must henceforth go unsatisfied. Pho Hung outlived its siblings, Quesada, Booster Juice and China Garden, and it is survived by an empty wasteland covered in graffiti, a Mcdonald's, a Subway, another Pho Hung about fifteen blocks Southwest and the promise of a soon to be luxury condominium that will almost certainly not have a delicious Vietnamese restaurant on the ground floor. Memorial services will be conducted in Rowell Room at 12:00 pm daily, when students ask “where should we go for lunch?”

The Momofuku ramen easily met our lofty expectations, which is to say that it would far surpass yours. The noodles were cooked to perfection, and the flavor of the por was indescribable (we literally cannot describe it to people who lack our complex taste palate). However, at the end of our meal we agreed that while the ramen at Momofuku is excellent, it is still not quite as good as the ramen at yet another restaurant you have totally never been to because you just wouldn’t know about it.

Ask Dr. Valencia

(And only five because I don’t have time to come up with more)

(3l)

(3l) & matt brown (3l)

uch to the excitement of local foodies, David Chang’s highly anticipated Momofuku Toronto restaurant opened its doors on Wednesday, September 19. Immediately upon reading about the grand opening on Twitter, my fellow editor, Matt Brown, and I caught a cab to the restaurant to make sure that we ate there before any of you did.

Top Five

rebeka lauks

UV Reviews Momofuku Noodle Bar

A Cinematic Retrospective

October 16, 2012 | 21

Dr. Valencia has a PhD in Relationship Studies from the University of Rangoon. He has been given the annual Dr. Ruth prize for achievement in relationship counselling seven times in his six year career. He is recently divorced. Dear Dr. V, This guy in my torts class always asks amazing hypothetical questions that have only abstract connection to what we’re learning. He’s so smart and cool. How do I get him to notice me? - Back row admirer

If your crush happens to be one of the former “career” in music/acting/drama types, your task is considerably easier. This grouping merely loves to hear the sound of their own voice, and if you don’t get enough in class, the moots are usually chock full of em. These former hasbeens/ neverwas are coming from a place of serious vulnerability. Just think used to pack some clubs on weekend nights playing original rock music, but now aging, 10-15 lbs overweight with graying hair, completely overlooked for the younger/fitter options and struggling to get a nano-second of that long lost applause. All you gotta do is approach them after class and say, “I loved hearing your take on x. Do you think you could expand upon that at the Duke?” Deal sealed. If, however, the object of your affection is a 1L, you have no time to waste in hoping he notices you. He’ll stop the hypothetical questions in January when the grades come back and resign to a place of humility, never to shine with the same brightness until retirement. You must pounce now! Good luck and Godspeed Back Row, Dr. V

Dear Dr. V, How drunk should I be getting on pub nights? -Insecure Imbiber

Dear Insecure, I have two words for you: blackout drunk. Every.Single.Time. There is no better preparation for your career in law than boosting that tolerance. Hell, I’d be willing to bet that at least 40% of your class is going to be practicing corporate law. So what do you think is more important, having an understanding of the Oakes test, or being able to polish of that 6th glass of single malt after doing a line of blow with an I-banker without upchucking all over said I-banker’s Ferragamos? Let me spell something out kiddo, that I-banker sending you business is what gets you partnership. Your understanding of the first year curriculum is almost irrelevant. Hit the sauce boss. It’s career development.

Just make sure you take a cab home and carry condoms. I’d hate to see you in the clinic. Best, Dr. V.

Dear Dr. V, I travelled from the future to find you. We need to talk. - Dr.V from the future Dear Future Me, Please tell me this doesn’t have any connection to the new Faculty of Law building…specifically the Leather Dungeon. (eyes closed) There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Intra Vires

DIVERSIONS

22 | October 16, 2012

Firms Decide to Actually Read UV, Revoke Funding En Masse katherine georgious

- It was a tragic day in the Ultra Vires office today, as the beloved newspaper lost nearly all of its firm funding. "We figured it wouldn't last forever," said a uv editor in a statement to the law school. "Someone was bound to catch up to what we were doing." For years, uv has been filling its pages with articles insulting "Big Firm" culture, the notion of being an ethical corporate lawyer, and even implying that Bay Street is the 4th circle of hell in Dante's Inferno. And it was able to do this while still gaining advertising revenue from the firms that they were mocking on a routine basis. falconer hall

"I guess we thought it was charming, like how The Simpsons always make fun of fox," a writer at uv told Intra Vires. "But then we realized fox probably just puts up with it because The Simpsons makes them like a billion dollars of revenue a day." Intra Vires spoke with the firm representative who was the catalyst for the funding revocation. "We're not shutting them down simply because they insult us," the representative clarified. "We have no problem making fun of ourselves. As evidenced by our newest bathroom advertisements, we're young and hip and can totally take a joke. But there's a limit, you know? We're okay with our ads being literally pissed on, but not figuratively. That's just harsh." Another lawyer cited the non-legal aspects of the paper as the reason for pulling the plug on advertisements. "I just don't want our firm to be associated with uv anymore. The spelling errors, the poop jokes, the obvious meta commentary, and what the hell is that Dr. Valencia column? Does that poor ethnic man know his

ultravires.ca

Slee, “so I’ve been holding out hope that there’s a giant conspiracy not to tell us about the magical nature of this building.” Ron has since been expelled for repeatedly trying to smuggle rotting frogs and foul-smelling liquid to stew in large vats in the basement of Falconer Hall.

photo is being used for such disgusting purposes? Honestly. I can't believe people gave Davies hell for the 'Slavies' ads last year and not for the mere fact that they advertised in uv to begin with."

Dean Mayo Moran was unavailable for comment on why U of T chose to focus on Muggle Studies and does not offer other standard first year courses.

Student Decides to Keep Her Opinion on U.S. Election To Herself

Tuition to Hit $30K for Class of 2016

katherine georgious

luke gill

- In an uncharacteristic move, a 3L student at the Faculty of Law has decided to keep her political opinions to herself about the upcoming u.s. presidential election. "I was going to post my thoughts on the debate, because my Facebook feed had only 34 status updates about how the debate was useless rhetoric, and I of course had to add in my two cents about how it was also poorly moderated. But then I just thought against it. And you know what? The internet was okay."

Having successfully raised enough money from private donors to begin the new building project, the law school is now preparing for its next major benchmark: the tuition for the Class of 2016 will hit $30,000.

the internet

Law Students Disappointed that Lawgwarts Doesn’t Actually Teach Magic bhuvana sankaranarayanan

Students at the University of Toronto Faculty of Law have reported a dramatic lack of instruction in Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, History of Magic, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy, and Herbology. “O-week really didn’t prepare me for this at all,” reported Herm Y Nee, a 1L who was found with a broken ankle clutching a broomstick and hanging off a tree in front of Flavelle Hall. “Some of the people I’ve seen around here, however, look like they’re around 500 years old,” added fellow 1L Ron Wee

“It’s about time,” remarked one notable faculty member, who wished to remain anonymous. “It’s absurd to think that it costs these kids less for a year at the country’s top law school than it costs my eleven year-old to go to Branksome Hall. And don’t even get me started on how expensive it is to insure a 16 year old with a Maserati.” Another anonymous professor was emphatic that tuition is still not high enough in order to pay competitive salaries to professors. “I published six articles last year, six. And I still make less than my partner friends practicing at Sullivan and Cromwell. It’s nonsense!” she fumed. “If I don’t see further subsidization of my on-site research on intergalactic trade law in Tahiti, I’m going to say, ‘Fuck it, I’m going to U Penn!’” Outside of Flavelle House a group of blank-faced students with dead eyes seemed unperturbed by the ongoing tuition increases. “I mean, it’s not all that bad,” said one student. “It’s kind of nice to have that enormous financial weight hanging around your neck all of the time. It makes career decisions easier.”

DIVERSIONS

ultravires.ca

October 16, 2012 | 23

“Yes,” mumbled another student. “I want to practice corporate law.” “I want to practice corporate law,” two more said in unison. “We all do,” stated the first student, slowly turning up the corners of his mouth into what appeared to be a smile.

1L’s Have Friends Outside of Law School rebeka lauks

“The 1L’s Suck.” “Do they not know December exams are fail-safe?” It is not unusual to hear these sorts of statements around the halls of the faculty of law these days. Over the past few weeks, tensions have been running high as 1L pub night attendance hit an unprecedented low. At long last, a group of upper years has released a comprehensive report examining the contributing factors to this phenomenon. “After weeks of monitoring 1L facebook activity, we have recorded numerous incidents of law school pre-drink invitations being declined,” said one of the authors of the report. “Even more alarming,” he continued, “attendance of non-law school events is at an all time high!” “Since time immemorial, the inverse relationship between facebook friendship requests and time spent with non-law friends has remained constant,” remarked another upper year. “In the first time in the history of the University of Toronto, Faculty of Law, the trend has reversed.” When asked if the music at recent pub nights, described by some as “Optimus Prime on Salvia”, is a factor in low pub night attendance, he replied that the possibility had not been ruled out.

Students Rave About Gunner’s Useful Comments

In-class ramblings garner admiration from professor and peers daanish samadmoten

(special thanks to

(2l)

lisa tan)

irst year students in Section One rejoiced on Monday after 30 minutes of a 50 minute lecture were spent discussing Gunny McGunner's personal views on homicide. Applause at the end of lecture could be heard around the school. “At first I thought, this will be a nice little break from lecture so I can check Facebook but it was so much more,” said one enthusiastic student. “It turned into a deeply convoluted discussion of personal experiences and unrelated legal topics, and I was hanging on every word,” remarked the same student.

hile climate change is believed to be gradually leading to the deaths and eventual extinction of many organisms, there is one creature that seems to be alive and thriving more than ever: the law school gunner. Typical strategies, such as playing dead and sporting camouflage, are often implemented by students and yet have proven ineffective in stopping this creature from striking. As such, it is best to know your gunners to minimize being caught in friendly fire. Gender-specific pronouns are used depending on which person each profile is based on, at random.

The machine gunner - He is easily the most notorious of all gunners. With unlimited ammunition, this one will continuously make comments in class, with approximately 1 of 50 bullets actually hitting a target (i.e. adding some value to class discussion). His annoyances are compounded by his tendency to tab about 200 pages in a book, of which only 70 were actually assigned reading. It is rumoured that Nuisance

Immediately following lecture, as expected, McGunner received 47 new friend requests on Facebook. Unfortunately, these were all ignored because, as McGunner put it, “I don't have time for friends. I only use Facebook to post all of the recent Supreme Court decisions on the UofT Law Class of 2015 group, with my own personal commentary of course.” McGunner, interviewed immediately following the morning lecture, said, “I'm glad everyone really appreciated my in-depth discussion with the professor. I know I could have talked to him about it during office hours or after class—and

I will still do that too, of course—but I really wanted my fellow students to know my personal opinion. Isn't that why we all came to law school?” Asked about the rationale behind his constant hand-raising and loosely connected ramblings, McGunner replied thoughtfully, “I sometimes wonder if I should be raising my hand so much. I think to myself, maybe there's a small chance not everyone read that eighth footnote on page 367, but then I realize that's ridiculous. What else would they have done on Friday night?” Intra Vires has obtained the notes taken by McGunner during the lecture in question and is pleased to report that they note every single thing that occurred—including coughs and anecdotes about the professor's personal life. When asked about his court reporter note taking style, McGunner responded proudly, “When there's a bonus question on the exam about the

professor's cat, others will regret not having taken complete notes.” Following the lecture, students began calling McGunner by the nickname “Classhole”, a mixture of the words “class” and “asshole” —intended affectionately, of course. Students even high-fived each other, ecstatic that they had learned virtually nothing despite having woken up at 8am that morning to make it to class on time. Even the professor was pleased by McGunner's constant ramblings, “I love it when students pontificate about their views in class, it means I don't get through the lecture and have to cut topics at the end of the year.” The professor also commended McGunner on how transferable his participation skills would be upon graduation, “Being able to make no sense to anyone and really drag out a (billable) hour is one of the most essential skills a lawyer can have.”

Law School Gunner Profile hani migally

(2l)

is now the first topic learned by 1Ls as a direct result of the annoyances caused by this beast. The grenade – This gunner has an explosive impact in a contained area; i.e. a first-year small group class. While in large lectures, she is pleasant, unassuming, and displays an admirable lack of initiative. Once in a small group, the grenade is triggered, developing self-confidence and unleashing a fury of comments. It is believed that her highlighters are custom-ordered from Burma, as no known store in North America stocks 18 different shades of cyan. The suicide bomber – This individual guns sufficiently hard that it backfires and claims

him as a casualty. He is particularly adept at flaunting specialized knowledge of a specific subject area as though it is useful to the analysis (note to suicide bomber: your knowledge of the ginger-beer fermentation process, while fascinating, isn’t actually relevant to Donoghue v Stevenson). Typical characteristics include making a class comment that repeats exactly what a professor just said, simply placing words in a different order. On other occasions, this person will pass direct quotes from the treatise as their own musings, seemingly overlooking the fact that the professor wrote the motherf***ing book.

The sniper – This gunner is not seen or heard from for days, then suddenly strikes with one sharp, concise comment that is actually useful to the topic of discussion. Despite their potential

to be well-liked, mind-blowing tendencies such as actually using the phrase “Regina versus...” when discussing criminal cases negates any goodwill the sniper may have built with the class.

The undercover gunner – This is a professor who aids and abets all of the above, particularly suicide bombers, from practicing their trade. Politeness and factually questionable statements such as “there is no such thing as a stupid question” encourage trigger-happy gunners. Note: The Machine Gunner will likely write to uv noting my incorrect use of “aid and abet”. They now consider the time spent tabbing that section in the criminal code, anticipating a situation just like this, to be worthwhile.

24 | October 16, 2012

DIVERSIONS

UV Cooks Pumpkin Scones georgia brown

(3l)

s we move (reluctantly) into fall, these scones can double as a warm, comforting breakfast or a deliciously spicedsnack to brighten your afternoon study sessions in Bora. The best part is that this recipe incorporates a favourite October flavour free of the timeconsuming hassle of having to cut, roast and seed a pumpkin oneself!

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Recipe adapted from: www.claudiascookbook.com/2010/08/10/pumpkin-scones

10.

Preheat your oven to 425°F.

ultravires.ca

2 cups flour (plus additional flour for kitchen surface) 7 tbsp sugar 1 tbsp baking powder ½ tsp ground cinnamon ½ tsp ground nutmeg ¼ tsp ground ginger ¼ tsp ground cloves 6 tbsp cold salted butter ½ cup canned pure pumpkin 3 tbsp half and half 1 egg Optional Ingredients: 2 tbsp half and half, milk or water 1 egg 1 tbsp of granulated sugar

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder and spices in a large bowl. Using a fork, a dull knife or a food processor, cut cold butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture is crumbly and no chunks of butter are evident. In a separate bowl, whisk together pumpkin, half and half, and the egg. Fold the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and form the dough into a small ball. Flour a clean kitchen surface and place the ball of dough on this surface. Form the dough into a 1-inch thick rectangle (about 9-inches long and 3-inches wide). Using a large knife, divide the dough into 6 equally-sized pieces of dough. Place these 6 scones on a lightly-greased baking sheet or a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Optional: Beat egg together with desired liquid. Using a kitchen brush, cover the scones with the egg wash and sprinkle a pinch of granulated sugar on top of each scone. Bake for 14-16 minutes.