The Connections We Forge

by Daz

I remember the first time I watched Doctor Who.

I was about 6 years old, the 7:30pm ABC News had just finished, and mum was trying to wrestle me into bed.

I remember sitting on the floor in front of the TV, staring eagerly at the screen as who I later learned to be David Tennant ran across the screen in a long ass trenchcoat, in front of what I now know to be Rose Tyler’s apartment building.

To me at the time it was just some guy in a trenchcoat running in front of some random British brick building when I was meant to be asleep.

It was forbidden. And exciting.

That was all I got to see before mum got me out of the room. I remember thinking that one day I’d be a big kid, big enough to watch that show and understand what was going on.

Lo and behold, about 3 years later I started watching Doctor Who. Matt Smith’s Doctor had just been announced, and my dad decided it was time for a proper education.

And I loved 9. He was harsh and stuck by his morals, he didn’t deviate for one second. But he was so lovable and energetic and was honestly someone that I wanted to grow up and be like. He was affectionate, but he had lines he wouldn’t cross, not for anyone. He instead bent the universe to his will to make it all work.

But then 10 came on, and that memory came back.

When I was watching 9 it was niggling at the back of my head, drumming like the beat of a song I couldn’t quite remember.

But when Tennant went running across in front of Rose’s apartment building in the 2nd episode of 10, I knew that’s what it was. And I knew that in that moment, I’d connected to something I’d dreamed about as a kid.

I think it was the only goal I set myself when I was a small child that I actually managed to accomplish.

I loved 10, and 11. To me, 11 was an adorable puppy dog with a killer side. His excitement and eagerness to do everything and anything was one that I could relate to. The times that his companions showed him that they could help, that he wasn’t alone, those made me feel safe. And he would tear the world apart for everyone he loved. But then 12 happened. And I couldn’t stand it when 12 became The Doctor. I think it was the pure disconnect I felt from him. The reason I love Doctor Who is because I could understand their reactions to situations, and sympathise with their actions. But when 12 became The Doctor, the lack of empathy and understanding of other people really bugged me. He relied on his companions to provide all of the actual personality, and he was just a grumpy, disconnected old man.

And it breaks that 6 year old heart, as much as it does my 21 year old heart, that I can’t keep connecting to the ever evolving character that I love.