Perspectives on Childhood, Education and Parenting

Perspectives on Childhood, Education and Parenting

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” JRR Tolkien

By Tom Northrup

Tom Northrup

Recently, I asked a friend and fellow retired colleague what percentage of a child’s learning at school he believed to be social—that which occurs outside of the classroom. Recognized for his wisdom and wit, he replied, “About 90 percent”

In reflecting on my junior high years, I recall two of my most formative experiences. Neither took place in the classroom.

One was my failure to defend an “uncool” friend who Tom Northrup was being teased by several of my “cool” classmates. To this day, I can see the sadness in his eyes when he realized I was not going to stand up for him. Equally memorable was the disappointment in myself, both that day, and for years to come.

A second was my decision in eighth grade to begin smoking cigarettes, then to quit within a year. Wanting the acceptance of a charismatic teammate was the initial driver. The influence of a coach who stayed after school with me to work on my athletic skills—whatever the season—altered my priorities.

The pandemic has given educational leaders an unprecedented chance to more fully understand and appreciate the challenges parents and children are facing. The primary stress for parents is having the time and stamina, both mental and physical, to juggle multiple demands and roles—vocational, parental, and now as a teacher.

Children must deal with the isolation, not being able to enjoy the school daily structure and activities (social, extracurricular, academics). Dr. Michael Thompson, a psychologist and school consultant, has observed that adults must recognize the primary motivating factor for children to come to school is to be with friends, classmates, sometimes even teachers.

The last six to eight months have highlighted the need for educational leaders to reimagine and redefine their relationship with parents and children. The realities confronted by the 21st century American family demand that the role schools play be broadened.

In-person schooling should begin again soon, and pandemic restrictions will pass. But the demands on families will remain, whether single parent, dual working parents, or one parent at home, one working. They all face significant challenges in raising their children.

The institution best positioned to be partners to parents in this enterprise is the school. Historically, most schools have not been viewed in this way.

What would an expanded role entail? My view is that the school day could be expanded to 6 p.m. with participation optional. The staffing and curriculum would be selectively different from the “regular” school day. It would supplement and support them.

Services would include clubs, free play, enrichment activities, academic support and time to complete homework, and mentoring (student to student, and adult to student). Healthy snacks and transportation also would be essential.

While an extended day program would be optional, a significant percentage of families likely would utilize it and their children would love participating. By adding this time to their day, there is a greater likelihood that students would be increasingly motivated and invested in their work and school.

These children would have the opportunities an unhurried and safe neighborhood setting offers—a place to pursue interests, get to know and learn from peers, make independent decisions and stay up with school work. All contribute to psychological balance, physical health, and self-confidence.

At the end of the day, parents and children would be in a better frame of mind to decide how to spend their evening hours. Together.