Beyond ‘He’ and ‘She’: Learning Your Preferred Pronouns

SAMANTHA NICOLE IMPERIAL

YOU’VE PROBABLY HEARD of the word ‘pronoun’ in your English class since elementary wherein we define it as a set of words in a language that are used as substitutes for nouns or noun phrases and whose referents are named or understood in the context. He, she, it, and they are examples of this.

In the status quo, gender pronouns are utilized to create an open atmosphere and confirm a person’s identification. Moreover, in relation to The Washington Post, LGBTQ++ activists and linguists all throughout the world have advocated for more inclusive language, both by coining whole new non-binary concepts and reorganizing existing grammar structures and words. It is not always easy. It might be difficult, frightening, or simply tedious for those who have to explain why they need more inclusive language.

The concept of gender pronouns started in 1789 when William H. Marshall recorded the existence of a dialectal English epicene pronoun, singular ou: “Ou will that expresses either he will, she will, or it will”. The modern feminine pronoun, she, first appeared in the mid twelfth century. By the twelfth and thirteenth centuries, the masculine and feminine pronouns had developed to a point where they were almost or wholly indistinguishable in pronunciation.

Around 1795, language authorities such as Lindley Murray, Joseph Priestly, and Hugh Blair, among others, launched a campaign against pronoun inconsistencies such as gender and number disagreements. This may only be done in the third person singular without coining words by using compound expressions like “his or her.” In 1879, 1922, 1931, 1957, and the 1970s, grammarians accepted ‘they’ as a singular pronoun that may be used instead of using ‘he’ or ‘he or she’, albeit they limited it to informal formulations in some cases, as stated by University of Wisconsin.

Nowadays, pronouns are always used whenever we talk to ourselves and others.

Learning Your Preferred Pronouns

Examples of pronouns that you could use include: she/her/hers, he/him/ his, they/them/their, zee/hir/per, and the name itself of the person. She/her/hers and he/him/ his are pronouns that are commonly used. Some call them ‘female/ feminine’ and ‘male/ masculine’ pronouns, but many avoid those labels as they don’t feel like ‘male’ or ‘female’ to all who use them. They/them/their are for someone who may not be strictly identified as a male or a female. This is considered to be ‘gender neutral’ and can also be used when referring to several people. In the transgender community, pronouns other than “he/she” or “him/her” are used. Zee/hir/ per provide inclusion and accuracy for people who do not identify with the male/female gender binary. It should be noted that not all trans people use these pronouns, many use “he” or “she.” The pronouns that are stated above are the most common pronouns that we used. There are also less common pronouns which are humanist which means the foundation for all neutral pronouns and thon which means “that one, he, she, or it.”

There are also instances where we are unsure of someone’s pronouns. How do we approach and ask them? As stated by Chicago Tribune, the appropriate way to ask someone’s pronouns is to introduce yourself first with your name and pronoun. Next, politely ask for their pronouns. Example of this is, “Hello, I am Maria! My pronouns are she/her/ hers. What are your pronouns?”

When someone has requested to be addressed in their given pronoun, they are asking you to respect their identity. If someone fails to use the correct pronouns intentionally, that person may feel disrespected, which can lead to dysphoria, exclusion, and alienation. If they do not want to reveal their pronouns, respect people’s wishes and do not press them to respond if they do not want to reveal their pronouns.