_an exercise in journalism
WELCOM E to UNIpinion!
The magazine is a 2013 Summer School production by 1st and 2nd year undergraduates taking Canterbury Christ Church University’s BA in Creative and Professional Writing. Melanie Hargreaves (Editor) Lauren Michelle Hewitt (Assistant Editor)
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UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
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[CONTENTS]
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6. IS IT TIME TO MAKE YOUR MEDICAL CHOICE? By Melanie Hargreaves
18 . The Unbearable Tedium of Twitter By Cathy White
8 . romance or Relationship? By Lauren Michelle Hewitt
2 0.Stripped By Gemma-Marie Everest
10. Fifty Years of Time and Space By James Cobb
2 2 . Pole dancing – it’s a fitness! By Montana Hoeren
12 .Sorry, Not Sorry? By Hannah Togwell
2 4 . Golden Slumbers By Steve Franks
14 . An Outbreak of Zombies Congregate in Folkestone Kent By Sarah Kay Hair
2 6. AN APPEAL FOR THE INTERMISSION By Penny Gotch
16. Uncle pierre’s young soufflé By Carl Ferguson
2 8 . Accessible –Only When They Feel Like It By Francesca Conelly
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
3 0. S to p, T h i e f! By Louise Laidlaw
42. Should languages be compulsory? By Lorna Holland
32 . tHE FUTURE SOUND By Mark Baker Gooderson
4 4 . T he Chronicles of Limestone By Lisa Richardson
34. Debut Album, Defining Statement By Liam Whear
4 6. L o n do n‌ but n o baco n By Melissa Holden
36. The Great Adaption By Wade Povey
4 8 . CRUTCHLOW LIMPS TO SECOND AS PEDROSA WINS By Edd Hodsdon
38. One Hundred Names: Scandal, Hope & A Mysterious List By Shelby Fuller
40. Confessions of a studious French student in UK By Laurie Texier 5
IS IT TIME TO MAKE YOUR MEDICAL CHOICE?
Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy in February marked a turning point for breast cancer prevention.
a U TH O R Melanie Hargreaves b i o Mel is a red-headed feminist with a large collection of Cosmopolitan magazines. She would like to work in editing after her degree. f i n d out more twitter.com/MelHargreaves3 6
In her poignant article, aptly titled “My Medical Choice,” Jolie described how her mother’s premature death after fighting cancer for a decade was the catalyst for her potentially life-saving operation. Aware that she carries a faulty BRCA1 gene, doctors told the star that she had an 87 per cent risk of breast cancer. Jolie made the tough decision to undergo removal of her breast tissue so she could tell her children “that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer.” The World Health Organisation estimates that there are 458,000 breast cancer related deaths every year. With so many diagnoses, we are still unable to discuss the C-word.
Women with breast cancer may feel their femininity, appearance and confidence is shattered after a battle with cancer. Shame is not an option when it comes to your health. And Angelina Jolie, one of the world’s most beautiful women, is smashing through these conceptions.
“Mastectomy decision means we have a choice” Major, and admittedly personal, operations may not be the first thing you’d want to be on front page news. However Angelina’s brave decision to out her mastectomy has sent a message to women worldwide: we have a choice.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
Jolie had her breasts removed in February after a cancer scare
Movie star status aside, this woman is no different to the rest of us. She has children, a partner and a life to fight for. While she admits that “only a fraction of breast cancers result from an inherited gene mutation,” why should she not minimise her risk in any way she can for her family? Before the media took hold of Angelina’s story, few considered the extent of control they had in cancer prevention. Fewer still gave it the recognition it deserves. We are seeing more and more celebrities speak out about their diagnoses, as they go through surgery and chemotherapy. Now, as a celebsaturated nation, we desperately need positive press on the real details. Angelina is the first A-lister to give the all-clear to preventative surgeries. Her efforts have finally made this option a hot-topic in the media, and made it a real option for strong women everywhere.
“First response, not last resort” What’s more inspiring than a woman who took her health into her own hands to promise her safety to her
six children? Let alone a woman who is constantly in the world’s eye. Not only is she raising awareness that hereditary gene faults can cause cancer, but she is sharing a solution. Like it or not, celebrity endorsement is a powerful thing. With cancer affecting everyone in some way, it is no longer necessary to endorse medical care as a last resort, but as a first response. There may be thousands of women who do not know they have a genetic predisposition to breast cancer. Now Angelina has waived her right to privacy, women worldwide are informed about check-ups, preventative surgery and the choices they can make. Angelina’s chosen publicity has empowered people to take health into their own hands. Take control and you can do the same.
Read: “My Medical Choice” by Angelina Jolie in The New York Times online: CLICK FOR LINK
Images sourced: CLICK FOR LINK
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ROMANCE OR RELATIONSHIP? Fairy-tale romances, rowdy men and a longing for love: Welcome to the 21st century.
Once upon a time, relationship and romance went hand in hand. Gentlemen weren’t a rarity and holding the door open certainly wasn’t a chore. But with the 21st century finding new ways to woo the ladies into believing that romance rules relationship, which would you prefer? Do you believe that you can have both?
a U TH O R Lauren Hewitt B i o Aspiring to be everything, except the clever stuff. f i n d out more laurenhewittformayor.com 8
Everyone has that one friend who believes that finding love is an easy occasion. But have you ever thought about what actually makes a relationship? There is clearly more than one contributing factor. So how do you decide whether he’s worthwhile or it’s just a fling with romance? I can count on my fingers the amount of times I have longed for the perfect romantic encounter. One where your eyes slowly lock across the room, you see his sexual but cheeky smile spread
across his face and you instantly feel jelly at the knees. Reality is: you get a drunken rowdy man screaming some sort of unwanted compliment at you, from across the high street. My friend, who despite a numerous amount of bad relationships, once believed that ‘Prince Charming’ was somewhere out there. For a while, I agreed. When you look for a relationship, you never look for a guy you know that will treat you emotionally right but a guy that can satisfy your materialistic needs. Most girls would want to believe that maybe this wasn’t the case for them, that they just want a guy to love them, not to treat them and shower them in gifts. But think about this: are you gut wrenchingly disappointed when you
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
If only romance did include Ryan Gosling… (The Notebook, 2004)
look down and see your credit card paying for dinner he suggested going to? Or not even slightly upset when he goes shopping all day and doesn’t come back with any sort of gift for you? Romance is materialistic. It’s something you crave, desire and cling to because the sensation of being complimented and receiving gifts sometimes outweighs the company of the person. A relationship, on the other hand, is full of imperfections and complications. He probably burps, picks his nose, farts in small but crowded spaces and doesn’t wear the right clothes when meeting your parents. But I guarantee you one thing. He makes you laugh. And he does this by doing all those gross characteristics that you’d sworn to hate in a guy. Once he’s made you laugh, you’re a step closer to having a relationship for life and not a rendezvous with romance. It’s thanks to the media that girls are broken-hearted. Not by the guy but the idea of perfection. Our expectations are constantly being clouded by storylines that involve a whirlwind romance for the female protagonist. Idols are even based around romance. Girls long to be like characters from fictional tales who are swept off their feet with never-ending compliments and smouldering looks. Or even public figures such as ‘WAGs’ and celebrities. BUT WHY?
What we need to learn when comparing love is that there is a reason that characters are in books and not reality. Celebrities and WAGs get gifts for a substitute of attention and affection. Gifts and being on your own verses the occasional compliment but someone who is there every night. Romance or relationship? Moral for the 21st century: Don’t aspire to be something someone else is. Just be you. So is he still considered attractive after he farts? I’d like to say no, but unfortunately he is. He’s attractive no matter what he does for the first couple of years of the relationship. But then slowly, he’ll mostly likely become slightly repulsive or at the very least annoying. By then though, it doesn’t matter, because you love him despite everything. Romance doesn’t make love or happiness, a relationship does.
Top 5
Relationship Tips 1. Communication is key, don’t be afraid to express your feelings Sophie Tumber, 3rd year, Dance student
2. Balance your social life, love life and time for yourself Polly Whitmore, 1st year, Drama student
3. Always be loyal, don’t give him/her reason to doubt Vinny Pantain, 3rd year, Performing Arts student.
4. Remember to ask if he/she has had a good day, the little things count Ben Steele, aspiring comedian
5.Be yourself, even if you’re embarrassed Simon Giles, Bar tender at Wetherspoons.
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Sorry,
Not Sorry?
Mike Jeffries - CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch has once again put his foot in it. The clothing line famously promotes the ‘surfer look’ to attract the target demographic of 18-22 year olds. Let’s face facts – this is a very smart way to lure the shoppers in. Realistically, what teenager is going to ignore the half-naked models outside the stores?
Is the CEO truly sorry for what he has said? Many people feel that he should apologise if it upset anyone, yet he continues to stick to his guns. His back-handed apology failed to appease the online community, who rushed to voice their opinions.
In 2006, the then 61 year old spoke to Salon Magazine about the exclusivity of the brand and firmly stated the company’s controversial policy. “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” Jeffries spoke freely. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids.” Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch
He went on to tell the magazine, “We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong, and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.” After a huge backlash from bloggers and celebrities alike, Jeffries – who allegedly employs a team of supermodels to follow him around and prevent him from seeing any reflective surfaces – retreated to Facebook to ‘apologise’ to any he may have upset:
“We are completely opposed to any discrimination, bullying, derogatory characterizations or other anti-social behaviour based on race, gender, body type or other individual characteristics,” 10
Should he really be the one to say if you’re ugly or pretty?
Abercrombie & Fitch are fast-tracking themselves around the world, Including on our doorstep in the Ashford Outlet Centre. Teenagers are thrilled to have the store opening in the local area, but will it poison the minds of our youth? Will they think this is the only acceptable way to be?
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
Is this the face of the future?
Outraged student, 20 year old Jamie Ridgewell, wrote his own view of Jeffries on the social networking site Facebook:
“He is one of the most unfathomably discriminating people to ever breathe precious survival resources during the planets existence.”
tanned and natural beauties in the prime of their lives. Surely, if you have it - you should flaunt it. If you have the beach god or goddess look, you should be able to show it off for the world to see - the models certainly do, as they parade around the outside of shops topless and posing for photos with customers.
Writer Greg Karber handed out items of the exclusive clothing brand to Homeless in Los Angeles, to challenge the brands elitism. The video was uploaded to YouTube and went viral in a matter of hours: Naked men employed to stand there and look pretty
But will they rethink their strategy when the clothing line opens in the Ashford Outlet Centre? Or will the allure of nearly naked models work so close to home? Greg Karber spreading the message in LA
Kaber’s message was to spread the word that their clothes should not just be for ‘cool’ people, but for everyone. Abercrombie and Fitch have never been shy about who they target. Their advertisement campaigns feature
aUT HOR Hannah Togwell Bio Hannah is an aspiring fiction writer who has flown into the world of journalism and taken it by storm, with her witty humour and plus sized opinions. find out more twitter.com/togatron 11
Fifty FiftyYears YearsoF, oF,
TIMEAND ANDSPACE SPACE TIME
The Adventures of the Eponymous Time Lord Showing No Signs of Slowing Down
Above: The Doctor is an alien with many faces.
a U TH O R James Cobb B i o Jim lives in Somerset with two dogs and a goldfish. He enjoys writing, hiking and cups of coffee. He doesn’t know where he is going in life, but he hopes it will involve sandwiches. f i n d out more twitter.com/jim_cobb 12
Doctor Who is a huge deal right now - Even people who aren’t fans of the show cannot fail to have noticed.This November commemorates exactly 50 years since the show pioneered, and it’s still going stronger than ever. The BBC are doing everything they can to hype up interest, even going so far as to release a series of postage stamps and replace Captain Birdseye on Fish Fingers packets with the 11th Doctor. It has been confirmed that the Anniversary Special will feature David Tennant, the memorable 10th Doctor, alongside the current incumbent Matt Smith. They will team up to unravel the secrets of the Silence and safeguard the mysteries of the Doctor’s own dark past. What is it about this show that gives it such staying power? The fact that Matt Smith is the 11th doctor to officially take on the role – to huge acclaim – probably confuses firs time viewers. But it’s simple. The Doctor is
a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey – a once great ancient alien race, who have the ability to ‘regenerate’ (change their body’s appearance) as a way of cheating death. What started as a series about a mysterious old time traveller - with the concept of an ‘educational’ show exploring both history and science soon became a tale about the triumph of intellect and romance over tyranny and cynicism.
“There are some corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things. Things that act against everything we believe in. They must be fought.” Stephen Moffat – the current showrunner and lifelong fan – has done much to make the show his own over the past three years. His unique mix of innovative drama, action and comedy has modernised the program while holding on to everything that has made it great
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
over the years. However, Doctor Who doesn’t belong to him any more than it belongs to Matt Smith or even the BBC. It belongs – and I realise how cheesy this sounds, but it’s true – it belongs in the hearts and minds of anyone and everyone who has ever loved it or been a part of it. It doesn’t have a canon, and yet it does, in a wibbly-wobbly sort of way, and it’s entirely possible for every viewer to have their own personal version of what ‘officially’ happened, and still have every unique interpretation be, on some level, true. Because that’s the magic of this show – It’s the story of a madman who stole a box, ran away, and never stopped. It divides audiences practically every time it does anything. And yet, they continue to love it, because it is something that is far larger than the sum of its parts.
It’s – hah – way, way bigger on the inside. The 50th Anniversary Special airs this November 23rd on BBC1.
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An O utb r e a k o f
Z o m b ie s Co n g r egat e in Folk e s ton e K en t
t Approximately 200 people gathered in Folkestone to take par on the 3rd November 2012 Zombie Walk, grouped together by a non-profit organisation - Planet Folkestone.
The Zombie Walk 2012, organised by Lisa Richardson, Terri Marsh, Vicky Gladwin, and Becky Buttigieg, was such a success, a repeat is to take place on the 5th October 2013.
Local residents of Folkestone were stunned to see an outbreak of Zombies overtake their town. People of all ages dressed up as Zombies and partook in the walk at 3.30pm onwards from Folkestone Leas Cliff Hall, all the way through the high street and down to Folkestone’s Harbour. K College choreographed the Thriller dance which was staged during the walk. An open air film screening of Shaun of the Dead took place at 7.30pm, bottom of the Leas lift. Supported by The Film Factory run by Zach Cooke. The Zombie Walk 2013, sponsored by Silent Studios, who sponsored last year’s event, is raising money for East Kent Hospitals Children’s Ward.
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UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
People came from all over the UK to take part at the Zombie event in Folkestone’s Town Centre.
Silent Studios from Northamptonshire, will attend this year’s event to film on the day. Lisa Richardson, organiser of the event, and local Author of Blog of The DeadSophie, was very pleased with last year’s turn out.
‘’We were overwhelmed by the success of last year’s event, with approximately 200 Zombies, up from 90 in our first year.With sponsorship from a film production company, Silent Studios, and with more people aware of us, we expect this year to be even bigger and better,’’ she said. 22 year old Gemma-Marie Everest, a performing arts student of the University Centre Folkestone, did a little acting sketch before ringing the bell to kick start the walk. She said she really loved taking part. ‘’It was exciting as we were about to give the shoppers of Folkestone a shock. It was a great feeling being a part of something so big (there was quite a few in the walk!) and a little bit surreal as you had to walk in character among other people doing the same groaning and limping and you got swept up in it! It was great fun,’’ she said.
Customers drinking and eating in Googies Art Cafe on Rendezvous Street, were chilling out, listening to some of the best music around, almost jumped out of their seats to see the Zombie outbreak in the heart of Folkestone.
Lisa’s Zombie novel set in Folkestone is now available to download on Amazon Click for Link
Keith Holland, owner of Googies said: ‘’An apocalyptic wave of Zombies moving towards you makes one’s hair on the neck stand up on end. Even though one knows they’re not real the sight of 200 Zombies on a normal Saturday afternoon is a unique and surreal experience. Zombie Walk 2012 was only the second year, one can only imagine how big it’s going to be this year.’’ To see Googies Keith turn into a blood thirsty Zombie visit the YouTube link For a chance to see the infestation of Zombies, visit Planet Folkestone’s link on YouTube
aUT HOR Sarah Kay Hair
And for more information
bio
or if you want to attend Folkestone’s Zombie Walk 2013, Click Here
My name is Sarah Kay Hair. I study Creative and Professional Writing at Canterbury Christ Church University. The best bit about writing is the research, especially of the weird and wonderful.
find out more sarahkayhair.wordpress 15
Uncle Pierre’s Young Soufflé
Uncle Pierre does not like the pleasures of his customers to be guilty ones. He knows the gatherers of his cocoa beans personally.
a U TH O R Carl Ferguson B i o Carl was drawn to Canterbury because it’s closer to home than New York. He spends his time writing and drinking double espresso Frappuccinos.
f i n d out more twitter.com/carlHferguson 16
We have in our lives someone precious, who is sometimes in need of receiving your love. Surely, we cannot present them with a dessert cooked by dedicated teams of chefs, every time your loved-one wants gentleness? Our chefs understand care and delicacy, as they come together to raise up their individual masterpieces, pouring and spreading around it their unique stirring of milk and dark chocolate.
For those feeling delicate
One splash out of place marks the creation to be disposed of. Uncle Pierre makes certain to present who you have in mind with no less than they deserve. Each one you buy is the pride of a real kitchen of real chefs. We know how to reveal this gem of love.Your special one should be in rest, surrounded by pillows and wearing their favourite robes. The temperature of the room should be in obedience to their will. They should be calm with satisfaction emerging, when they finally have sight of the small, gift-wrapped package, designed not to spoil that which sleeps inside. With each box individually handcrafted, it is natural to feel a bittersweet loss when tugging the majestic bow for it to release its protection of the seal. The finest inspectors of the country
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
can confirm the authenticity of Uncle Pierre’s signature found when folding over the top layer of wrappings. Uncle Pierre takes time to sign his work for his treasured customers. When the dessert’s surrounding fortress has bloomed before your amazed loved one, they may finally be close to knowing how they amaze you, as they see the dessert’s padding resemble royal comfort. Even the inside is hand-painted. At the moment the package has completed its duty of protecting it, it will follow its second design, to model the soufflé. In any lighting, it will look gorgeous. Only one of the two of you will be eating, but you may both share the experience, as you watch their expressions when they feel the sensation of the melting chocolate, oozing a variety of flavours. Its purpose has been fulfilled. The name Uncle Pierre earned its worldwide reputation after France’s highest established critics exalted the Young Soufflés each after their first taste - after over 50 years, always the first taste. After the Second World War, young chef, Pierre Sevage, believed in restoring France’s identity after German invasion. Wanting France to be known for her restaurants again, he comforted troops and their wives, allowing them to eat his unique meals for free.
he continued striving to improve what he saw as his best work of art. Pierre himself travelled to the Amazon Rainforest, exploring undiscovered areas, in search for better cocoa beans than what was already regarded as the world’s best (used in the old soufflés, of course). After five weeks, he pressed forward, despite catching malaria. Pierre claims his most extraordinary experience in life was when he was aided by a lost tribe, and in turn he cooked for them. To show their gratitude for the deliciousness of his meals (even when lacking an oven), they helped him on his search for the cocoa beans. They were successful after two days.
Uncle Pierre’s famous apprentices, crafting their art.
Uncle Pierre and this tribe are in partnership to this day. They pick the cocoa beans for his boats to pick up, and he gives them technology to improve their quality of life in the Amazon, including tools for education. The children’s favourite subject is cooking. Uncle Pierre’s Young Soufflés contain in each dessert not only his experience of cooking, but also his experience of life. All to be shared with the one you love. This £5 gift can be found in any Marks & Spencer or Waitrose.
Uncle Pierre has always known what people deserve. Those travelling afar claimed to never forget the smell of even his appetisers. All of his apprentice chefs became masters in the art of cookery. It was this Young Soufflé, however, that made him known across the world. He declared his work will not leave his restaurant unless the packaging was perfect. He wouldn’t have any imperfection for his customers. When Uncle Pierre’s Young soufflés were enjoyed for twenty-five years,
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The Unbearable Tedium of Twitter Cathy White takes time off from her keyboard to reflect on the bizarre realm of Twittersphere ‘Looks like it’s going to be a two-coffee morning.’ Not me, you understand I don’t drink the stuff, never have. But if you take a peek at my Twitter timeline first thing, this is all you’d see. That and the weather reports. ‘It’s cold.’ Yes, that’s because it’s February. ‘It’s snowing.’ Yes, thank you, I do have windows. Even the usually erudite Stephen Fry sometimes feels the need to mention the temperature.
a U TH O R Cathy White b i o Cathy spends far too much time being annoyed by Twitter and should spend her time looking at photos of kittens instead. f i n d out more www.cathywhite.co.uk/ 18
Are these tedious Tweeters incapable of leaving a solitary thought inside their heads? I think they must be. Twitter is full of people emptying their brains of all thoughts, leaving only a hollow husk with just a stray hashtag or two bouncing around.
“If I counted the hours I’ve spent on there over the last few years, the God of Productivity would be wanting a word”
Don’t get me wrong, I love Twitter. I’ve found friends on there, I’ve found work on there, I’ve networked like a ninja on there, and goodness knows if I counted the hours I’ve spent on there over the last few years, the God of Productivity would be wanting a word. But, there are parts that drive me mad. Vanity RTs for example. Or, as I call them, insecuRTs.You know the type I mean. The RTd tweets in which the Tweeter’s been mentioned. Justin Bieber spends a large part of his day doing this, for example, this one that mentions he was ‘almost’ tackled by on stage by a fan. That’s right, ‘almost’. As in ‘wasn’t’. With almost forty million followers, you wouldn’t expect young Master Bieber to be insecure would you? Now, let’s talk about FFs.Well, FFS would be more appropriate, especially when people simply RT a list of FFs they happen to be on. I’ve been on these lists and I haven’t a clue who the person RTing them is, so why are they recommending people follow me? All I can say is thank goodness for TweetDeck and TweetBot and their fabulous filters. I can filter out FF and wake up on a Friday knowing I’m not going to be FFSing at all the FFing.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
“ If I was desperate to talk to someone, I’d talk to a human, not a hashtag” Speaking of filtering, this really comes into its own when there’s something popular on the telly. Oh, are people talking about X Factor? Don’t know, I’ve filtered it out. Same with Strictly Apprentices in the Jungle or whatever everyone’s talking about at the time. I’ve always wondered just why do people tweet about what they’re watching on the telly? I like a bit of television myself and you can call me old-fashioned if you want to (if you haven’t already) but if I was desperate to talk to someone about it, I’d probably talk to a human, not a hashtag. And while I’m on the subject of hashtags, is there anything more annoying than asides in them? You know the kind I mean, the ones that follow a mundane tweet like ‘I used too much milk and my porridge is now a sloppy mess #oops The only time I like hashtags is when someone puts an apostrophe in them, thus breaking the hashtag and making themselves look like a complete dick #youcan’tputapostrophesinhashtagso kay? And while we’re speaking about
looking like a complete dick, hashtags don’t work in Facebook, so please pack it in with the simultaneous postings. It honestly wasn’t that interesting enough to be posted on Twitter AND Facebook. Self-importance is rife on Twitter. From the Tweeters in double figures begging for more followers to get them to the dizzy heights of a hundred, to those with a few thousand apologising for being away for a couple of days. Do they really think the general public are sitting in front of their screens moping because you haven’t tweeted a sepia-tinted Instagram-filtered photo of the coffee you had that day? And as for self-aggrandising tweets thanking everyone for their suggestions and responses when they’ve asked a boring question, unless you’re a celebrity with hundreds of thousands of followers, wouldn’t it be more polite to thank people individually? If you have a thousand followers and, say, 1% replied (which, let’s be honest here, is probably a higher number than would actually reply), that’s only ten people you have to reply to. Is that really too much work? And if you’re going to brag about the huge response, make sure you actually have one as I bet I’m not the only one who looks to see what the huge response was only to find it’s in single figures.
And while we’re on the subject of self-importance don’t get me started on the ‘In case you missed this earlier’ tweets which are usually links to someone’s mundane blog and so a) it wasn’t missed; and b) if people want to read your blog, they know where to find it. Right then. I’m off to Instagram my lunch, but in case you want to follow me on Twitter, I’m @jogblog. #justsaying
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S tr i ppe d Baring the truth on what life is really like for a stripper.
‘Slut’, ‘Slag’, ‘Dirty skank’ Ladies, how would you feel if you were called any of those words? Hurt? Humiliated? Angry? Why then is it acceptable to insult strippers by labelling them because of their job? Would you know what an off-duty stripper looked like if you passed one on the street on a Sunday afternoon? I would bet the price of a lap-dance (that’s about £20 if you didn’t know) that you wouldn’t. Why? Because away from the night-shift these women are exactly that: women. No different to you and I.
a U TH O R Gemma-Marie Everest B i o Cornish Native who now lives in Kent studying on a BA Hons Creative Arts degree. Also a singer/ songwriter and geek. f i n d out more gemsmermaidtales. blogspot.co.uk/ 20
I spoke to Texas*, a 27 year old stripper in London, to understand what the role of a stripper really entails both inside and outside of the strip club and how her job has affected her life. ‘I did pole-dance classes at University to keep fit.The boss of the club was there and told us about the money we could make doing it professionally. I went in for a trial shift/audition the next night, got the job, made what I used to earn in a week in one night and got hooked on the money.’ I wondered if she drew the line at stripping or if anything else was on the table.
‘I’ve had trouble with men expecting extras from me before and one time a guy waited for me outside of the club. I find it hard to trust men now, which makes it impossible for me to hold onto a relationship which, at the age I am, isn’t good as I want to begin settling down and do something more with my life.’ Texas also explains ‘You become obsessed with earning money because it’s not like a normal job where you do the hours and get paid an exact wage, you are constantly worrying about whether you are going to make enough money to pay your rent and bills that week. A lot of girls dance because they are single mothers or students or women trying to pay off debt. It doesn’t define who you are as a person, but you have to be pretty tough to do it.’
I find it hard to trust men now So why do we persecute women that have the strength to take on what many people would shy away from? Exposure of the naked female form is still a taboo despite us living in a day and age where pornographic images and videos are available at the click of a button. Why is it a woman has to either be ‘The Mother’, ‘The Madonna’ or ‘The Whore’?
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
Sex, and all things related, is still treated as a (excuse the pun) touchy subject. Is it because the female form is appreciated so intimately in the bedroom that it is almost ‘sacred’? And the idea that being paid to strip for a stranger is blasphemous to sex as a ‘ritual’ between two faithful adults. ‘It’s hard for a partner to trust you when they learn what your job is.They get paranoid you’ll cheat or get jealous about other men seeing your body.You have to be very selective of the friends and family you tell as it can ruin those relationships too. Strippers get a lot of hassle for what we do but when bills need to get paid sometimes it’s the easiest way to make enough money fast.You have to lie and hide what you do and that is so hard!’
However you feel about taking clothes off for money it doesn’t excuse the fact that ‘stripper’ is merely a job title and that those who do it are still women and don’t deserve to be treated as anything less. These women are still daughters, sisters and often mothers, so think: how would you feel if you or your female family members were called sluts? *Stage name used
Earning a living to survive ‘I am a completely different person at home. I have my real name, my real identity and life. But when other women find out what job you do they automatically think you will steal their man or can’t trust you, which is ridiculous! People don’t realise that stripping is never an ideal job but they also don’t remember that you’re still a human being too and are just earning a living to survive.’
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Pole dancing – it’s a fitness! Montana Hoeren suggests that the opening of a pole dancing venue in Canterbury means re-evaluating the art With news that university and cathedral city Canterbury is planning to open its first pole dancing club, it’s time to re-evaluate the art. K.T Coates, professional pole dancer is supporting a campaign to include competitive pole dancing in the Olympics 2016.
a U TH O R Montana Hoeren b i o “I aim to be a high flying fashion journalist one day, but for now these will give you an idea of the MontanaHoeren-writing-style. Peace” f i n d out more heruni/montanahoeren 22
With the potential opportunity to put pole dancing to the test, maybe people will start to view it more as a fitness that requires strength, agility, flexibility and control, as opposed to women slut-dropping in next-to-nothing to earn a bit of dollar. Professional pole dancer and world champion, Felix Cane, 28, explains why people often assume pole dancing to be dirty and inappropriate:
“Unfortunately, most people incorrectly assume that pole dancing is something that only striptease artists perform in strip clubs...” “Unfortunately, most people incorrectly assume that pole dancing is something that only striptease artists perform in strip clubs, but there is a vast difference between pole dancers and strippers. Part of the difficulty of pole is that your apparatus is made of metal and very slick -- having fabric of any kind between your skin and the pole will cause slipping and possible injury.To have more skin available to utilize on the pole, it is performed usually in a bikini-style outfit very similar to what is worn for women’s beach volleyball.” Pole dancing is often associated with strip clubs, which features slim girls exposing themselves, giving lap dances and ‘other things’, which are often expected to occur behind the curtains
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
-that’s what gives pole dancing a bad name, but there’s a lot more to the sport than meets the eye. Pole dancer, Danielle Wood, 28, who has worked in strip clubs for three years, speaks about her experiences in the industry:
“The men can be really rude and pig-headed. They talk to you like you’re a piece of meat and expect you to do as they say, just because they’ve spent the money. I have a pole in my front room and whenever I’ve had male friends round they expect me to dance for them, but I just tell them to dance for me – it’s not as easy as they think!” Pole dancing requires a great deal of training to ensure the dancer has sufficient upper and lower body
strength. The dancer also needs control in strip clubs, especially with the earning potential. It has recently over the pole and her own body, as become known that students are well as flexibility and agility. When pole dancing and even stripping to pay Danielle gave up smoking, she put on for their university fees. It is evident weight and flew to a size fourteen, that money keeps the world spinning from a size eight. With the extra round and with so few jobs available pounds Danielle struggled to pole to provide even minimum income. Is dance and said she felt like “an elephant there any wonder young girls are climbing a tree”, but with dedication to the pole and daily dancing she was back turning to pole dancing to pay the bills? Even mothers have found it necessary to a size eight in twelve months, and was hanging, swinging and climbing again. to work in the industry, because it provides more money than a month’s Despite the bad publicity and worth of work at Sainsbury’s. judgement on pole dancing, the art does however provide lots of G-strings So whether or not people agree with it, pole dancing is a form of fitness. It stuffed with tenners. Men pay to enter a sport that improves strength and the clubs, to drink and then again if they opt for lap dances, which generally makes you toned in all the right places. How people use it is up to them but come in at around twenty pounds a dancing on a pole does not make you time. The dancers can earn between a whore. forty to three-hundred pounds a night and even up to a thousand pounds in Works cited: some of the top clubs. It’s easy to see how people can be swayed into using pole dancing skills
Cane, Felix. ESPN.Web. 21.05.2013. http://espn.go.com/blog/playbook/trending/post/_/ id/6293/pole-dancing-champ-talks-about-olympics
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Golden Slum
Steve Franks now knows why he has trouble getting out of bed in the morning – he’s not lazy: it’s in his genes a U TH O R Steve Franks b i o Steve Franks is a freelance writer from Folkestone, Kent. f i n d out more twitter.com/Beatlejpgr
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How many hours a night do you get? Some people survive on four. I like a long ten. The UK average for adults is 7.75. I am of course talking about the number of hours sleep people need. Albert Einstein needed ten hours of sleep. Margaret Thatcher ran the country on four hours of sleep. Winston Churchill used to sleep for four hours, although he often had an afternoon power nap. A study of 10,000 people by the University of Edinburgh and Ludwig Maximilians University in Munich, found that 20% of Europeans carry a gene
known as ABCC9. People with the ABCC9 gene need 30 minutes more sleep each night than those who don’t have it. Jim Wilson, a Royal Society University Research Fellow, at the Centre for Population Health Sciences, said: “A tendency to sleep for longer or shorter periods often runs in families despite the fact that the amount of sleep people need can be influenced by age, latitude, season and circadian rhythms. These insights into the biology of sleep will be important in unravelling the health effects of sleep behaviour.”
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
bers
So when I wake up at 9:00 on a Sunday morning to the sound of my next door neighbour’s electric lawn mower. I can lay there for another hour, knowing that I’m not being lazy, it’s all down to my genes. I love that extra two hours in bed.
Diagnosing Alzheimer’s early is vital, because symptoms such as memory loss and clarity of thought only become apparent very late on in the disease. By then, it’s too late because part of the brain will have been destroyed.
Sleep deprivation No one really knows why we sleep. Thomas Edison said: “It was a waste of time.’ One way of understanding why we need sleep, is to look at what happens when we are deprived of sleep. People deprived of sleep, may become grumpy, groggy, irritable or forgetful. Research obtained by the BBC has shown that people deprived of just one night of sleep have poor concentration levels and short attention spans. The part of the brain that controls memory, language and planning is severely affected. The BBC research shows that a lack of sleep has also been linked to stress and high blood pressure. In real life situations, people deprived of sleep have difficulty making rational judgements under pressure.
“A lack of sleep has said to have been a contributory factor to a number of international disasters such as Exxon Valdez, Chernobyl, Three Mile Island and the Challenger shuttle explosion.” The BBC research also claims that, skipping a night’s sleep and staying awake for 17 hours is the equivalent to a blood alcohol level of 0.05% (two glasses of wine).
Health issues Research obtained by the BBC suggests that a lack of sleep doesn’t just affect the brain’s ability to function. “Sleep loss may also increase the risk of obesity, because chemicals and hormones that play a key role in controlling appetite and weight gain are released during sleep.”
A report in The Guardian suggests that people sleeping less than six hours a day, skew the activity of hundreds of genes. “Genes affected by lack of sleep include those governing the immune system, metabolism and the body’s response to stress.” People sleeping less than six hours a day, run the risk of getting heart disease, diabetes, obesity, stress and depression.
Sleep is food for the brain.The average adult needs at least 7 hours sleep to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I’m just getting ready for my ten hours. Sweet dreams.
A study published in the journal Science Translational Medicine, suggests that sleeping problems may be an early sign of Alzheimer’s. Alzheimer’s Research UK argues that a proven link between sleep depreciation and Alzheimer’s would be an important breakthrough in the treatment of Alzheimer’s.
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AN APPEAL FOR THE INTERMISSION a U TH O R Penny Gotch b i o Penny Gotch was born in 1991. She writes fiction, non-fiction and poetry. f i n d out more pennygotch.tumblr.com aspermoth.tumblr.com 26
The cinema was dark; the audience, hushed. Onscreen, Snow White was escaping from her evil stepmother’s castle after years of captivity. It was tense. It was dramatic. And I was desperate for a pee.
Unfortunately for me, this was only twenty-five minutes into a two hour film. By the credits, I was all but running for the cinema toilets. I may have been crossing my legs during Snow White and the Huntsman, but that was nothing compared to what my father endured during The Hobbit. He started to feel the need around the thirty-five minute mark and had to wait two bladder-bursting hours before he could get to the facilities. This is a common problem with cinema, so common that somebody had to invent a smartphone app that tells consumers when it’s best to take a toilet break.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
But is that the best way? I think not. Consider theatre. They have an unofficial rule that the average audience member needs a toilet break after seventyfive minutes of show: this is why almost all plays and musicals have an intermission. But how many films have intermissions these days? None, and this is despite the fact that the average blockbuster runs for nearly two hours.
And I think that’s wrong. Bringing back the intermission for films would be a fabulous development for viewers and cinemas alike, and this is why, with advantages for film fans first.
The most obvious benefit is toilet breaks. Enough said.
See? How nice was that? And the benefits of an intermission aren’t just for the viewers. The cinemas can profit from a quick break too. An intermission provides extra opportunities to sell refreshments. After all, if everybody has a break half-way through, you can sell to them twice. Plus if you’re selling multiple units, you can remove larger sizes from the menu and please the health-eating crowd. You could also put a member of staff at the door to both sell ice-creams and check tickets to make sure people aren’t sneaking into different films, the latter of which removes the key problem that led to the abolition of the intermission. If audience members can escape half-way through a movie to tell cinema staff about technical issues, it would save the cinema a bundle in free tickets.
Next, an intermission gives the audience a chance to speak up if something has gone wrong.
When my mother and I saw Spider-man and the 3D was broken, we were both given coupons for free tickets: if the movie had been fixed half-way through, would we have demanded them? Probably not.
If my mother and I had had an intermission when we went to see The Amazing Spider-Man, we could have pointed out that the 3D had broken twenty minutes in and saved ourselves a matching pair of headaches.
And finally, when the screen is free for ten or fifteen minutes during the intermission, the cinema could sell extra advertising time and rake in a little more cash from corporate sponsors.
The intermission is a chance to get another drink. I have lost track of the number of times I have left the cinema with a mouth that felt like carpet because my drink didn’t last the full length of the film.
The intermission is crucial to theatre and I’m sure it could be likewise for cinema once again. If films nowadays are going to last for two or even three hours, it seems obvious that providing a break for visitors is the best idea.
And most importantly, if you discover you’ve plumped for a cinematic dud, an intermission means you can sneak out of the cinema without disturbing people or treading on strangers’ feet.
After all, if you don’t, people won’t come. They’ll watch their films on enormous HD TVs with surround sound instead, pausing the action for toilet or snack breaks whenever they want.
Time we take a break, I think. Why don’t you nip off for a cup of tea and a biscuit? I’ll be here when you get back.
Personally, I’m going to avoid the cinema until something changes. I’d rather stay home and watch films in my underpants for now. It’s easier on the bladder.
With thanks to says-it.com for the title graphic.
A little light refreshment.
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Accessib
Only When They Feel Like It
“Hackney Cabs - only useful if you have the knowhow.”
Hackney CabsHow to Hack the system London Hackney Cabs are considered one of the easiest and most accessible modes of transportation for disabled people. Here’s the good news:
• T hey’re readily available and run twenty-four hours a day, unlike a U TH O R Francesca Conelly B i o Frankie loves Anime and is busy writing her own Manga comic. f i n d out more www.frankiesays.com 28
the bus system which has been known to leave people stranded because they missed the only bus in the area that day.
• T hey don’t run the risk of trying to leave with you still on board, as has been known to happen with trains.
However, it’s not all good news. There are three main issues with taxis: the Height Issue, the Equipment Issue, and the Money Issue. I like to call them The Big Three.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
Height Issue The Height Issue is most common when trying to catch a high-street taxi. The traditional way of getting the Cabbie’s attention is to rap on the window, but it’s out of the reach of a wheelchair user, even when they’re sitting on the curb next to the taxi. So, what do you do? Sit there and look cute until a passer-by takes pity on you? Or pray that the cabbie will eventually look in your direction? Both require patience and can ruin your clothes in wet or stormy weather, not to mention make you ill. If a friend offers to escort you to the taxi rank, let them!
Equipment Issue: The Equipment Issue: The law says that all taxis have to be “Accessible,” but they’re not required to carry wheelchair clamps. Here’s the twist, Cab drivers have the right to refuse service to any wheelchair user they think would be in danger because they aren’t clamped in. While on paper, this may sound sensible, practical even, this rule can leave a wheelchair user without a way home. So now what can you do?
Money Issue: The Money Issue. Try to catch a taxi after a night out and see how expensive it is! Warning: try to book ahead.
“Don’t find yourself having to wheel home!”
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Stop, Thief! Vintage motorcycles fighting back with DNA.
a U T H O R Louise Laidlaw bi o Louise divides her time between working on a play script and playing tiddlywinks. fi n d out more www.laidlawwriter.com 30
I will take you back to a time where babies were left outside in their prams and were perfectly safe.Where everyone could walk into each other’s houses and not fear that their property was to go missing. Vehicles could go unlocked and untouched and everyone seemed so much friendlier towards each other.This was the fifties, a time when the first Vincent motorcycles were being made and only valued at around £42.
Now over sixty years on they value between £30,000 - £60,000, and if you left it outside it would be swiped up in no time, exported and perhaps sold as parts. There is no trust in today’s society and you would be very foolish not to take certain measures in protecting your valuables. Many people that own vintage motorcycles have been hit with theft. Including those that try their best to keep them locked up safe at night. But if a thief wants something of great value they will go to extreme measures to get it, especially when they know they probably won’t get caught. A friend of mine had his garage broken into; they took his sidecar off of the bike and scratched up his entire car getting his bike past it. Surprise, surprise it wasn’t seen again. Another friend of mine was in a pub when a white van came along and stole it whilst he was having a pint.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
1951 Vincent Comet – One of many
Gone are the days of the fifties, the time to fight against theft is now and Carole Nash have come up with the perfect solution – DNA +. Carole Nash, an insurance company that specialises in protecting vintage motorbikes, has now come up with forensic protection. They have been sending their customer’s small bottles of DNA + which contains coded microdots that are registered to owner of the bike.
DNA + forensic protection for your motorcycle The customer is then instructed to place small amounts of the invisible fluid on certain sections of the bike (mostly hidden sections). It can only be seen under UV light and is positive proof of ownership.
every part of the bike, making it so much easier for the police to track it down. Each customer is provided with a sticker to show that their bike is fully marked. Thieves are deterred because they know they will get caught, as it is virtually impossible to remove the liquid. If the thieves know they will get caught then they won’t strike. And don’t fear, as the liquid is harmless and doesn’t devalue the bike at all. In fact it increases it as it is an extra form of protection. Of course please do change the ownership papers properly or the person you sold the bike to could be accused of stealing it, if the microdots aren’t in their name. If you own a motorcycle vintage or otherwise, and want to take extra measures in protecting it – which I know from experience is most of the motorcycling world nowadays – then contact Carole Nash at: www.carolenash.com
If the bike was to be stolen, then it makes it much harder for the thieves to sell it as it has trace evidence on nearly
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a U TH O R Mark Baker Gooderson b i o Mark likes to watch movies in a large darkened room with strangers. He also has a weakness for Sherbet Lemons. f i n d out more www.mbgwriter.com 32
the future sound
With the new 3-D headphones from FDsound that provide the most immersive cinema experience possible, just in time for Star Trek Into Darkness.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
Imagine the feeling of being aboard the Starship Enterprise in its latest adventure into the final frontier. With the brand new ‘3-D Headphones’ from FDsound, you don’t have to imagine. Just as 3-D glasses add depth to a film’s image; these headphones add a whole new dimension to the film’s sound, creating the illusion that you are not merely watching a movie, but you are in one. The effect is achieved through what is called ‘360 audio’, which up until now, only human ears could experience and is what gives us our spatial awareness. This is what the headphones will integrate into the viewing experience, allowing you to hear a spaceship fly overhead or aliens chasing behind you, completely immersing you in the world of the film. This prospect has encouraged cinemas worldwide to modify their facilities to be compatible with this new product. Even the film industry has begun taking advantage of this new innovation, with Star Trek Into Darkness going where no film has gone before by being the first compatible with 3-D sound.
...the film industry has begun taking advantage of this new innovation, with Star Trek Into Darkness going where no film has gone before...
FDsound ‘3-D Headphones’ have also been designed to subtract sounds, removing the unwanted noises of crunching popcorn or inappropriate chatter. This gives you the most immersive viewing experience possible, while also featuring a built in safety system in case of an alarm or other alert that you should be hearing. However, the headphones aren’t just for films in cinemas, but for music, anywhere. They are completely compatible with current smartphones and audio devices, needing no connective wire, instead working from a wireless link up. This built in functionality will allow you to listen to your favourite bands in 3-D, on the go. Just like with films, the headphones will greatly improve the quality of your music, generating the acoustic immersion that only a live concert could provide. And the specially designed audio filter keeps your music to yourself, with no sound leakage for others around you to hear. Even the headphone’s design is innovative, utilising shatterproof materials for durability and a foldable band for easy storage. It is sleek and futuristic, stocked in a variety of colours and styles all for no extra cost.
FDsound have created a pair of headphones that will revolutionise the way that we hear movies in the theatres and at home...
FDsound have created a pair of headphones that will revolutionise the way that we hear movies in the theatres and at home, becoming an essential item for your visits to cinema, and a must have those who want the most from their films and music. The 3-D Headphones from FDsound are priced at £29.99 and will be launched on the 12th of May, available for purchase from all good electronic retailers or from FDsound’s official website at: www.FDsounds@Goglle.ac.co.uk
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Debut Album, Defining Statement Connecticut band triumphs amidst a growingly stagnant scene The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die – Whenever, If Ever (Topshelf Records) by Liam Whear
a U TH O R Liam Whear B i o Second year writing student at CCCU. I like punk rock, anime, dogs, Tarantino films and trying to be better f i n d out more twitter.com/X_LIAM_ WHEAR_X 34
“The world is a beautiful place / to be born into / if you don’t mind happiness / not always being / so very much fun.” So begins the poem ‘Pictures of the Gone World 11’ by Lawrence Ferlinghetti, a poem that sums up the general feeling of Whenever, If Ever. It’s one of finding solace in the bad times, one of total catharsis, one of accepting all the shit and just pushing on. Formed in 2009, Connecticut band The World Is A Beautiful Place’s debut album has been a long time coming. 2010’s debut EP Formlessness cemented their current status as figureheads of the “emo revival” scene
(along with notable bands Snowing and Empire! Empire! I was a lonely estate). Josh Is Dead followed in the same year, and in 2011 they released the split EP Are Here To Help You with Deer Leap. Each release showed a consistent and steady progress of their typical second-wave emo/post-rock fusion sound, combining crashing crescendos with twinkly melodies and emotional rhythms and vocals. Whenever, If Ever is no different in this respect. What’s important is just how vital it is.
Ten head-rush tracks Each one of its ten tracks feels like a head-rush. “Picture of a Tree That Doesn’t Look Okay” builds over crashing symbols and vocal harmonies reminiscent of American Football before exploding into a mosh pit frenzy echoing that of any late 90s underground pop punk band. “Ultimate
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism Steve” begins with subtle chords fresh from the Godspeed You! Black Emperor notebook of crescendos, before it kicks into life into what can only be described as one of the most life-affirming apocalypses set to record, with the lyrics
“Let it tear us apart and shake our being / ‘Cause everything I see and all that I touch isn’t worth believing.” “Fightboat” finds its place nudged neatly between the more melancholic brand of second-wave emo to the more excitable bunch that have populated the more math rock brand over the past couple of years; the mournful trumpets that beckon the track in, once again, reference American Football, and this is immediately placed in contrast to the mathy drums that recall Algernon Cadwallader. Meanwhile, “You Will Never Go To Space” places subtly droning feedback against strummed upbeat chords, going as far as sounding not unlike Explosions In The Sky.
its listeners. Make no mistake, this is an important album. This album finds itself in a scene after Snowing broke up. After Algernon Cadwallader broke up. A few months after Tigers Jaw broke up. The scene that has breathed life into a once stagnant genre filled with naught but hazy teenage nostalgia of kissing on park benches and throwing your fists in the air at shows has become just that once again. The fact that it was rushed out a month before its penned release date due to it leaking is kind of ironic; it almost seems that this album was destined to be heard.
“We are the walls of formless shapes / and overbearing weights” begins final track “Getting Sodas”. It has an exhausting yet tireless energy to it, the exuberant riffs frequently changing in tempo, from frenetic to full of emotional weight. At 3:10 it quietens out, then builds. For the next near three minutes, that’s all it does. There is no release. The drums tower, the vocals tower, the guitars tower, but it all caves in.
Long live emo We’re left with the lyric “If you’re not afraid to die, then so am I”. Emo is dead. Long live emo. 5/5 Key tracks: “Fightboat”, “Ultimate Steve”, “Gig Life”, “Getting Sodas”
Supplementary listening: Algernon Cadwallader – Parrot Flies (2011) Taken by Greg Horbal, 2011
Music that needed to be made Whenever, If Ever places itself in the context with the emo revival of late by combining the sounds of all the bands and yet still sounding completely fresh. It sounds like music that needed to be made, for the sake of its creators and
Deer Leap – Here. Home. (2012) Snowing – I Could Do Whatever I Wanted If I Wanted (2010)
Whenever, If Ever is currently free for streaming on: Youtube Bandcamp (Downloading on Bandcamp costs the equivalent of $7)
Soundcloud You can also order the album on CD and vinyl through Topshelf Records’ online store CLICK FOR LINK
The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die are currently on tour in Canada with Dads and Cerces. A US tour with Pity Sex, Dads and Daylight follows.
Cap’n Jazz – Analphabetapolothology (1998)
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T h e G r e at A d
The Great Adaptation Baz puts his stamp on the Jazz age
a U TH O R Steve Franks Wade Povey b i o Steve Franks Wade Povey isis aa freelance chainwriter from smoking, beer-drinking, Folkestone, Kent. caravan-owning twentyyear-old from Gravesend f i n daspires out more who to be a twitter.com/Beatlejpgr writer of Noir fiction.
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For the first time in nearly four decades, Fitzgerald’s novel hits the cinemas, directed by the formidable Baz Luhrmann and starring Leonardo DiCaprio,Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, Isla Fisher and Elizabeth Debicki. Click for Trailer The story of Gatsby (DiCaprio) is told by a depressed and alcoholic Nick Carraway (Maguire). It is through Nick that we learn of Gatsby, the mysterious and aloof millionaire, who throws wild lavish parties and who is connected to Nick’s cousin, the beautiful Daisy (Mulligan).
Crammed in the dreaded front row of the theatre, I was in two minds over the newest Gatsby film. Part of me felt excited to see Fitzgerald’s words transform into a modern film – one which could top the 1975 version. At the same time, like all book fans, I was afraid of another adaptation.
‘the grandeur and emptiness of the lost generation’ Luhrmann has certainly proved that he has a unique style. With films like Romeo and Juliet, Moulin Rouge and Australia under his belt, no one can argue that he does not know how
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
d a p tat i o n to make a grand story that is both romantic and tragic. But The Great Gatsby is certainly no ordinary story. I feared that Luhrmann would over indulge and make a gaudy melodrama. However Luhrmann gives the film a frantic pace that matches the tone Fitzgerald incorporated into his book. The grandiose scenery grabs you right out of your seat and pulls you into the world of the flappers and bootleggers. The costumes are elegant and the mise-en-scene is spectacular – which all helps to portray the grandeur and emptiness of the lost generation.
It would be easy for the cast to be lost amid a sea of glittering costumes and roaring music but as a certain green light they shine through. Newcomer Elizabeth Debicki gives an addictive performance of Jordon Baker and shows that she can more than handle herself on the big screen.
Both Edgerton and Fisher give strong performances filled with vitality, which give credibility to Tom and Myrtle (the more unpleasant characters of the story). Edgerton especially manages to dominate his scenes. The cast also features Amitabh Bachchan, a legend of Hindi cinema who has a cameo as Meyer Wolfsheim – Gatsby’s shadowy partner. His addition to the film is short and sweet. However, The Great Gatsby firmly rests on the three main characters: Nick, Daisy, and Gatsby. Maguire gives a solid performance as Nick and is perfectly able to channel the naivety that is vital to the character. Mulligan also gives a good performance, but sadly lacks some star power. This is to be expected with a difficult role like Daisy, who has to be both sympathetic and unsympathetic at the same time. Perhaps a bit too much for Mulligan.
They certainly don’t know the word ‘restraint’ It was Fitzgerald who would dub the time ‘the jazz age’, and it is clear by watching the film that Luhrmann had tried to use as much of the jazz age as he could. Focusing not only on the cinematic features but also on the musical elements, this can be seen particularly in the scene where Nick Carraway (Maguire) overlooks the city of New York from an apartment window.
Gatsby shines through When it comes down to it, it’s Gatsby who has to shine through. The character of Gatsby is almost as symbolic as the green light and the eyes of Dr Eckleburg. DiCaprio has utter command over the role, mixing superhuman charm and magnificence with a deep romantic sensitivity. DiCaprio has come a long way from the angst-ridden Romeo.
Luhrmann, like Tarantino, puts great emphasis on the music in his films.The Great Gatsby is accompanied by a fantastic album produced by Jay-Z, featuring artists such as Beyoncé, Jack White, Lana Del Ray, Florence and the Machine and many more. http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=O9xKZPd4w3A
‘the energy of jazz is caught in the energy of hip-hop’ Although the use of modern music has raised the eyebrows of many, ‘the question for me in approaching Gatsby was how to elicit from our audience the same level of excitement and pop cultural immediacy toward the world that Fitzgerald did for his audience. And in our age, the energy of jazz is caught in the energy of hip-hop,’ explains Luhrmann.
Admit it, the guy has style Luhrmann is obsessed with awing his audience; for all those who attempt to watch this in 3D I recommend bringing some painkillers, what is grand and beautiful becomes garish seen through 3D glasses. I give this film 4/5 stars for being a bold and brilliant attempt at revitalising a grand classic. Gatsby lives again.
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One Hundred Names: Scandal, Hope & A Mysterious List
The P.S I Love You writer has done it again and pleased expectant fans with another magical novel. a U TH O R Shelby Fuller b i o Shelby is a second year student who likes to pretend that she’s a fresher. In her spare time she can be found fantasising about fairies, or dressing up as one. f i n d out more shelbsf.blogspot.co.uk
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When I saw that Cecelia Ahern had released a new book I knew I had to read it. I’ve been a fan of her writing since watching the film P.S I Love You, an adaptation of her bestseller. Knowing that books are always better than their screen counterparts, I knew I’d enjoy her writing. Ahern has written a book, yet again, that I could not put down. I admit that I’m a slow reader, but this book had been read within three days. One Hundred Names follows the struggle of Kitty Logan, an Irish journalist, who is under investigation for having falsely accused a man of a crime he did not commit, on live television. This type of accusation is all too familiar in the media today.
By having her main character commit it, Ahern is showing the reader that these journalists are human too, and iterates that “We
all make mistakes, some bigger than others, but none of us is perfect.”
To add to Kitty’s struggles, she does not only have to face an impending court appearance, but must try to save her career too – all while grieving for her best friend and mentor, Constance. Constance was her editor-in-chief at the magazine, Etcetera, who loses a battle with cancer at the beginning of the novel. Before her death though, she tells Kitty that there is one story that she has always wanted to write, but has never gotten round to, and instructs Kitty to fetch the précis of this idea from her office and bring it back to the hospital for it to be explained.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
When Kitty gets back to the hospital Constance is no longer there. Armed now with an alien idea, of one hundred names written on a piece of paper, with no introduction or explanation, Kitty must find out what links these people and write their story to save her career and honour her friends memory – a hefty task. As with everything she has written, her novels and the Samantha Who? TV series, Ahern has created a realistic world that has been touched with a sense of magic. This novel should be up there in the list of books every aspiring author or journalist should read - it should have a place next to the work of Strunk and White. Although it doesn’t teach the fundamentals of spelling and grammar as Elements of Style does, it teaches something just as important: how to find a story. Ahern teaches the budding writer that “Every single person has a story to tell. Every single ordinary person, has an extraordinary story.” And teaches the average reader that they are important, even if they do not believe that they are, because
“People who believe that they are not interesting, usually are the most interesting of all.” Ahern has written a story that is completely gripping. From the moment she introduces Constance, she makes the reader fall in love with her, before immediately ripping that new found love from their hearts. This love-at-first-paragraph helps to make Kitty’s journey even more important for the reader, and even more touching. Ahern will break your heart within the first few pages of this novel, before dusting you off and helping you to close the book with a smile. Fans of Ahern will be all too familiar with the essence of magic she always strives to include. One Hundred Names does not disappoint the expectant fans, but rather than writing about an imaginary friend (If You Could See Me Now), or a magical book (The Book of Tomorrow), in her latest novel the use of magic is more subtle. Ahern has found and revealed the magic that is in everyday life.
Cecelia with her new book One Hundred Names
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Confessions of a studious French student in UK.
Thoughts of a French student in her third-year degree in English Literature and Civilisation in the Catholic Institute of Higher Studies (ICES, La Roche sur Yon) who studies in UCF (Folkestone). How I see my student life at ICES university (on the left) compared to my student life in England (on the right).
a U TH O R Laurie Texier B i o When Laurie isn’t writing in French or English, she’s reading Norwegian writers in translation. She also likes Curly Wurlys. f i n d out more Goodreads/LaurieTexier 40
Studying in ICES means fifteen different subjects and an average of 35 hours of class a week, without taking into account the homework. Basically, my schedule looked like this: Workday, Workday, Workday, Workday, Workday (Friday night!), Sleepday, Workday. The hammer-blow was the eighteen exams in one week and a half during which I probably did not sleep more than 18 hours in all. And I skipped Friday night. But I did this exam marathon, because I knew that the reward was soon to come...
T he rewa rd ... Six months in Canterbury studying Creative and Professional Writing in Folkestone. And with 15 hours of class per week (three Workdays and four Fundays) I really felt like I was on holiday. Especially when I have been told that I didn’t have exams but nine assignments to hand in five months (half less than in France in twenty weeks). And indeed, my first impression of the lessons was that it was relaxing. First, calling my lecturers by their first name instead of saying “Sir” or “Mrs” made it less formal. And what a surprise to see that there was neither a studious front row, or a noisy back row in the classroom. The tables are in circle so everyone can see each other, nothing that reminded me a lesson.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism But the appearances were misleading. While in France I used to sit, listen and write. Here I sit, read and discuss. The lessons are lively, active and suitable to interaction and participation.
… but a pr i ckly rewa r d But the main difference was about homework. In France, I was given four translations, a commentary about an extract of a novel, some research or exercises to do each week, excluding the dozen of novels I had to read (or browse) during the summer. In England I had only one piece of work to mail every week.
This i s wh at I thou g ht. In ICES, I was given work to do. I had to do my homework because during the following lesson we would work on it. In England, the lecturers mention titles of books that students can read. If you do it, good. If you don’t, nevermind he will not check. In a nutshell, you do not have to. And as I was used to be given work that I had to do, I first did not really pay attention to that.
I shoul d h av e . When the time came to write my first essay I realized how essential it was to have read this book, this one and that one... Oh and not to forget to mention that novel in my references... In total, I read (or browsed) 12 books. As many as I did in France.
Tick tock, t ick tock , tricky clock . Another trick is time. 3 assignments to do during a onemonth holiday for Easter meant that I had plenty of time for me to do them. So I travelled around Kent, went to London several times and to Malta... procrastination at its best.
Thankfully, I had already started those assignments before travelling. But all I had was a massive pile of draft papers from which I had to single out the best ideas. Then I had to organize and develop them, write and re-write my notes, add quotes and references and struggle with the language. I had forgotten that time passes quickly when you’re enjoying yourself, but I realized how time literally flies when you’re working. So I worked hard and eventually managed to submit these assignments a few hours before the deadline. Happy ending. But I had the feeling that I could have done better if I had been more organised. After that, I started to schedule my days off in order not to be overwhelmed.
W h i ch d o I pre f er ? Except from the fact that I learnt a lot about writing in English, I also discovered a new way of studying. I had to be responsible in the UK, as students are not ordered what to do, but have to oblige themselves to plan a work schedule. A 3-workday week does not mean that you have a 4-day week-end. If you don’t work, no one will tell you to do it. Being a student in England was part of my long journey to become an adult.
Being a student in England was part of my long journey to become an adult.
But when I came back, I had a week and a half left to write three assignments due within days of each other.
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Should l anguages be compulsory? “Je voudrais une baguette jambon et fromage et un coca-cola s’il vous plait.” a U TH O R Lorna Holland B i o Lorna is a 19 year old Creative Writing Student from Northamptonshire, UK. f i n d out more twitter.com/themaxdog 42
Three years after finishing five years of lessons, this is all I can do in French – order my lunch. I had no experience with foreign languages until I started secondary school, I studied French for three years as one of the core subjects on the school curriculum. In year 9 I also took German for a year but I don’t even remember how to order dinner! Under current government law, language lessons are compulsory from the beginning of year 7 (11 years old) to year 9 (14 years old). Currently 60% of primary schools teach a language as it’s optional not obligatory. So are language lessons in schools actually worthwhile? Isn’t it pointless because of the global dominance of English?
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
Limiting? After two years of studying a language GCSE some students wish they had been given the opportunity not to learn a language, because it limits their options and forces them to take a subject they don’t want or need instead of a more important one. However, in the last few years more pupils have been choosing GCSE language subjects, especially since the introduction of the English Baccalaureate system in 2010. This rise follows the sharp decline of languages between 2005 and 2010 where numbers halved from a peak of 75% take-up in 2002. In 2012, 25% of pupils took a language at GCSE, but of these, only 1 in 10 continued their language to A-level so despite the upward trend in language study there are still very few students electing to study languages. In comparison, learning a second language in school is compulsory for students in Europe. Arguably it is more important for them to learn English than it is for British students to learn European languages because English is more widely spoken globally.
Mandarin has become increasingly important in commerce.
So perhaps we should be learning newly globalised languages such as Mandarin instead? Nowadays European languages are mostly only used when you are travelling or on holiday. In contrast, Mandarin is one of the most influential languages in the world today and is widely used in business.
Is Mandarin really the language of the future, ou allons-nous voir un retour aux langues europĂŠennes?
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The Chronicles of Limestone When Lisa Richardson visited the Jurassic Coast of Portland, Dorset, little did she know she’d stumble upon a hidden gem of the limestone variety at Tout Quarry and Sculpture Park. Part of the ‘Stone Circle’ by Groupe 85
Map in hand, and tired from a day of sightseeing on the Isle of Portland – having ticked Portland Castle, the harbour and Portland Bill off my list – I almost gave up looking for Tout Quarry and Sculpture Park.
a U TH O R Lisa Richardson B i o Lisa Richardson is a Professional and Creative Writing student, an event organiser with Planet Folkestone, and a published author. Her first novel Blog of the Dead - Sophie is available to download from Amazon. f i n d out more Amazon Link 44
It had only the vaguest mention in the handbook of local attractions I picked up at the hotel in Weymouth, so how interesting could it possibly be? Realising I must have missed the turn off, and caught up in Portland’s one way system, I thought, ‘Let’s give it one more go,’ and did another circuit of the Island. Second time lucky, I spotted a dusty track, heading towards the coast on the north west corner of Tophill. At the bottom of the track, I found myself in a patch of wasteland, at the entrance of an abandoned quarry. There wasn’t much of a welcome, just a small sign saying, ‘Portland Stone Centre. Tout Quarry – Car Park’, but I’d made the effort, and entry was free.
So I parked the car and pressed on, down the rocky path to Lord knew where.
Into The Wild I was soon rewarded with the first cluster of what is over 70 sculptures in the park: a lichen covered pterodactyl, a mammoth’s head emerging from a boulder and a crudely carved mermaid relaxing on a rock, among others. The sculptures are so organically carved that they appear as though springing to life from the grey/ white limestone. I spent an hour following the signposted trail – enough to give me a good taste of the artworks. But I could easily have lost a whole day, wondering through the winding paths of the quarry and still not spot all of the sculptures dotted around the 1.6 km of land. The site was a working quarry from 1780 – 1982, producing the famous Portland stone that was used for
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
The sculpture park’s workshop
some of the world’s most famous buildings, including St Paul’s Cathedral, Buckingham Palace and New York’s United Nations Building. In 1983, the quarry hosted a group of well known and up-and-coming sculptors who created artworks inspired by the landscape, carving the remaining limestone into fairytale creations. The idea behind the sculpture park was to give something back to the quarry, after so much of its resources were taken away. Many of the early sculptures perished after a year or two, but due to the success of the first artists’ work, more came, and the sculpting continued.
Narnia With a mixture of mythical creatures, larger than life butterflies and owls, and a huge stone table set in a circle of stones, I imagined that I had slipped through the wardrobe and found myself in Narnia. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Aslan himself had skulked
passed as I walked through Rosie Leventon’s Wreck, or as I sat beside Timothy Shutter’s Hearth. One of my favourite pieces is Stephen Marsden’s Fallen Fossil, a sculpted fossil, like a skeletal arm, laying at the foot of a sculpted impression in the rock that the ‘fossil’ supposedly fell from. There is a long list of international sculptors that come and work at the quarry, including Han Sai Por, from Singapore, whose work can be seen around the world; a collective called Groupe 85 from the Netherlands; and a piece by the late, Kent born sculptor Keir Smith.
offering courses in sculpting to anyone inspired by what they have seen – and I defy anyone not to be inspired by the beautiful limestone works of art. Workshops run from May to September. And if I was local, I wouldn’t hesitate to sign up, turn up and roll my sleeves up. Click here for more information on courses. So, how interesting was Tout Quarry and Sculpture Park – Monolithic!
Britain’s Anthony Gormley, famous for Angels of the North, also has a piece in the quarry, called Still Falling, which shows an elegant figure carved into stone, diving towards the ground. Tout Quarry and Sculpture Park has become a creative hub for holiday makers, locals, schools and colleges, with the Portland Sculpture Trust
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LONDON… BUT NO BACON
Is the city really expensive? Let’s find out.
Gabby (left), Me (Middle), and Shelby (right) getting ready to head off to London
a U TH O R Melissa Holden b i o CCCU Creative and Professional Writing Student. Aspiring writer and artist. f i n d out more melissaholden94. blogspot.co.uk/ 46
In need of a break from the dismal rain of Folkestone; Shelby, Gabby and I decided to head off to London for the day, and with me not knowing London at all, I was expecting a day full of adventure. We were pushed for time, and had to catch the train at 7:46 on a Wednesday morning. When paying for our tickets, we were horrified when the cashier told us it was £69.80 each for an Anytime All Day Travel Card, Zones 1 – 6. The journey itself took just over an hour and a half. We amused ourselves by startling Gabby, when we confessed to having no idea where we were going when we got off at London Bridge.
Gabby then spent the journey, being a born-and-bred Londoner, explaining train routes. Bemused, we accepted her directions, and when we left London Bridge and let her catch the tube to Elephant and Castle, we wandered off in search of bacon. Not being used to London, we assumed a bustling city such as England’s capital would be full of sustenance, and we searched for a café. The first was a small box that barely had room for the sullen waitress with her headphones in, let alone to two men in high-vis jackets who were drinking what looked like oil in a greying mug. Somehow we managed to miss the gourmet heaven that is Borough Market.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
London Bridge image courtesy of www.prsupdate.co.uk
Ants for breakfast We went back to the station and as only two girls from Kent can, we got lost within the train station, and ended up being directed by a stressed security guard with odd socks. We got on the train to Waterloo, rushed out of the station and after ten minutes of walking randomly, past a very tempting patisserie, which we ignored, and headed for The Mediterranean Cafe. Faced with four bored waitresses and only two other customers, who left shortly after our arrival, we climbed the stairs to the seating area, and found a table beside the grubby window. We both ordered an all-day breakfast with orange juice. I say orange juice, but it tasted more like the smell of rotten fruit. The food wasn’t any better, and I began to wonder why we had bothered coming to London at all. A yelp from Shelby brought my attention to an ant on the table. We abandoned the greasy-in-a-bad-way food, and rotten fruit juice, paid and discovered just how expensive London is: £7.70 each for a meal we didn’t finish. With barely full stomachs, we wandered around the shops outside Waterloo. We were pleased to find The Book Warehouse and spent twenty minutes buying notebooks before we decided to go back to the station.
The tourist attractions were next on our list, so we caught the tube to Leicester Square and on arrival,
...rather than getting lost in the sea of suits and high heels, we headed for the park to watch the world go by. Milkshakes to die for By 1 o’clock, watching French students laugh at pigeons was boring, so we went for a walk and stumbled across the Fiori Café An open-plan building with a richly decorated interior, we were through the door, at a table and ordering strawberry shakes at £4.90 a glass. The waitress had a smile to die for, and the milkshakes were of a similar calibre.
London is a beautiful city, and one I think we should all frequent in our lifetime, but only when you’ve booked your ticket in advance online and aren’t leaving during peak time. London is expensive, but sometimes, it’s worth it so you can complain about it later. If the trip taught me anything, it was to pretend I know where I’m going, where not to eat, and where to get a fantastic milkshake.
Happy and full, we left Fiori and went to Convent Garden in order to begin our journey back to forever-rainy Folkestone.
Shelby exhausted, fell asleep on the journey back
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ND O C E S O T S P M I L C RU T C H L O W A S P E D R O S A W IN S l Crutchlow braved the Ca s in’ ita Br ia, tib d re ctu fra a ing ht Fig Le Mans Moto GP. e th at ce pla nd co se t an illi br a im elements to cla
The Le Mans weekend looked to go from bad to worse for Cal Crutchlow on Sunday. After suffering a leg fracture in Saturday’s final practice session, he was greeted on the grid by heavy rain. However, Crutchlow was competitive from the start. The Briton rode a superbly controlled race to finish second, his best ever result, and the third podium of his career. Despite the rumours, Crutchlow was full of praise. “The whole team did a fantastic job. It’s nice to get that podium. We deserve this, we have worked hard all year.” he told 3BBC Sport.
a U TH O R Edd Hodsdon B i o First year student and F1 enthusiast’ f i n d out more twitter.com/eddhodsdon 48
Crutchlow fights his way to second
Cal’s second place is the first for a British rider in the premier class since 1989. The result couldn’t have come at a better time, following rumours that Crutchlow may be replaced at his Tech 3 Yamaha team next year.
UNIPINION_ an exercise in journalism
The race winner, Spain’s Dani Pedrosa, produced a dominant display. After making a lightning start, Pedrosa duelled with the Ducati of Dovisioso for the lead. After passing his former team-mate at the halfway point, Pedrosa drove away from the field.
In his debut season, Marc Marquez has already challenged the established order. He won a race in only his second attempt, and has also had 2 pole positions. Despite being just 20 years old, Marquez is the only top rider to have been on the podium in every race so far.
He becomes the first rider to take a double win this year, following his victory at Jerez. He now takes the Championship lead, 6 points ahead of Repsol Honda team-mate Marc Marquez. “I am so happy. It was a great race for me.” Pedrosa said after the race. “I was able to stay on the bike and bring it in.”
However, Marquez is fast, but he is also aggressive. The young Spaniard has already clashed with reigning champion Lorenzo, forcing him off the track on the last lap in Jerez. His lack of experience could cost him the title this year.
Marc Marquez, Honda’s young charger, had an eventful race. The young Spaniard made several mistakes before recovering well to finish third, hunting down Dovisioso in the closing laps. In contrast to his Honda rivals, reigning champion Jorge Lorenzo had a poor race. Last year’s winner could only manage seventh place. The Spaniard’s Yamaha simply did not have any grip in the wet. Lorenzo’s team-mate, nine times World Champion Valentino Rossi, made a rare mistake whilst battling for fourth. He lost the front and crashed, sliding into the gravel trap. Rossi rejoined, dragging his Yamaha home in twelth. After Sunday’s race, the Championship becomes very tight at the front. Pedrosa, Marquez, and Lorenzo are only separated by 17 points, with 25 available for a race win. And with 14 races still to go, it’s all to play for at the top. Crutchlow’s podium moves him above Rossi in the standings. Crutchlow is now fourth overall, and is still the top privateer. The fact that he is in front of Rossi, a factory Yamaha rider and multiple champion, proves that Cal is a potential competitor this year.
Lorenzo slipped to third in the Championship
With the three Spaniards trading blows at the top, 2013 promises to be an enthralling season. It will be full of excitement, controversy, and conflict. And that is just the way I like it. All images courtesy of BBC Sport
Lorenzo slipped to third in the Championship
Pedrosa has been dominant in the last two races, and if he can keep up the consistency that we have seen from him so far, he will win the title. He has been close the last few years, and this could be his best chance yet. Lorenzo is still the title favourite. The double World Champion is probably the most complete rider in the field. Le Mans was merely an inconvenience, and Lorenzo will come out fighting in the next race at Misano.
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Canterbury Christ Church University’s BA in Creative and Professional Writing, based in Folkestone for two years, will operate from the University’s main campus in Canterbury from October 2013. Consequently, this collection of the students’, journalistic pieces, entirely their own work, may be seen as a kind of valediction. We have thoroughly enjoyed the Folkestone experience, where we have been lucky to work with such committed writers, and look forward to seeing the course continue to grow and flourish in broader pastures next year. Our very special thanks go to Alessio Gallo for his splendid design of the magazine. Heidi Colthup & Stewart Ross Sessional lecturers
Disclaimer This magazine was written by undergraduates for education purposes only, as part of a BA in Creative and Professional Writing. The information contained therein is for general information purposes only. Nothing herein has, intentionally or unintentionally, any commercial purpose or function. While the authors have sought to ensure that the information is up to date and correct, they make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the website or the information, products, services, or related graphics contained on the website for any purpose. Every effort has been made to obtain such permissions as are required for the reproduction of copyright images, etc., and the authors apologise if they have inadvertently omitted to obtain any such permission. All views and opinions herein are strictly those of the writers, not of Canterbury Christ Church University or any other of its members.