Illness

Healing Art - Mix Fix

by Nikolozi Pantsulaia

I can’t think straight

Like you do

All I feel is pain

Like I should

Can’t see anything in the darkness

I’ll be ready when it happens

But world was never like that

I’m here for my stupid act

I should never left my mom

She was always so warm

I got mom no more

And it’s my fault for sure

Tried many times to leave but they didn’t let me go.

The last phase of depression kicked in...

I never knew this would happen to me

Changed all my feelings except one

Love...

Still in love with the girl from my childhood

I never forget her

Her smile, her voice in my ears made my pulse raise.

Now? It’s nothing now. Pure emptiness.

World is too small for this much pain

People don’t care about each other

Everyone is living their own life

You would never see what I see everyday.

That’s why you don’t care. Because you don’t know.

Oblivion is what I’m scared of most.

But changes...

In the dark black painted room there is a small window. Little bit of light comes into the room. There’s a hand reaching out. But I can’t get close to it. I feel like something big is holding me back. Something dark. Don’t even remember who I am And what I have here.

I will, I will get out!

I will, because i love

I will, because i think

I will, because i feel

I will, because i care

I will, because I need to.

But... I need you most. I need your words.

I need your hug. I need to know that I’m not alone. That you’re on my side. And will protect me from darkness. I need help from an unknown friend.

Everything in life has a reason. believe me.

I Just need a fresh start.

I WILL LIVE