JEHOVAH’S FOOTPRINTS With
A Commentary & Questions
by Gnome
UNIVERSAL OCTOPUS www.universaloctopus.com
COPYRIGHTS
משה רבנו יהושע Σωκράτης
© 2017 Brian F Taylor
Dedicated to all those Sufferers whose lives have been blighted by the folly of those who came before them.
Verily I say unto you. They have their reward.
As recorded diligently by descendants of Adam in Hebrew and Aramaic & translated into English by 47 scholars between 1604 and 1611.
1
These had been appointed by The Supreme Governor of the Church of England, King James I.
2
The Church of England had been created by the adulterous Uxoricide, King Henry VIII.
3
King James was a devout, antiCatholic Christian. He once interviewed Bartholomew Legate, a dissenter. 4
Bartholomew Legate told him he had not prayed for seven years. James was appalled. With the collusion of his bishops, he had Legate burned at the stake.
How sinful a man was Bartholomew Legate?
5
In the 1590s, Bartholomew and his two brothers, Walter and Thomas, began preaching around the London area. Their unorthodox message rejected the Roman Catholic Church, the Church of England and their rituals. How sinful is that?
How Christian a king was James, the Head of the Church of England?
6
How did it all begin?
7
How did they SAY it all began?
8
9
GENESIS ONE: In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
10
And God saw every thing that he had made. And behold, it was very good.
So, that’s alright then!
11
God created man in his own Image.
Male and female created he them.
12
Perfect!
13
And God said: Behold, I have given you every herb-bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for food.
So, god invented veganism then. 14
GENESIS THREE: Unto Adam and to his wife, did the Lord God make coats of skins and clothed them.
Where did he get those skins from, then? 15
GENESIS FOUR: And Abel was a keeper of sheep. Why did he need to keep sheep, then?
16
And Abel brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering.
What did God want with the fat thereof, then?
17
GENESIS EIGHT:
And Noah builded an altar unto the Lord; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. And the Lord smelled a sweet savour.
So, god invented an alternative to veganism, then?
18
19
GENESIS NINE:
And God blessed Noah and his sons and said unto them: The fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; unto your hand are they delivered.
So, would the fear and dread be because they didn’t like being killed and hadn’t realised that god had said it was alright?
20
And God said: Every moving thing that liveth shall be food for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.
21
Not by bread alone, then?
22
GENESIS SEVENTEEN:
And God said; Every man child among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
Similar to branding, then?
23
Must be the longest covenant in history. They’re still doing it. Ishmael’s descendants do it to little girls, too!
And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not thy seed.
24
So god invented trafficking in babies too, then?
25
GENESIS TWENTY TWO: And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him: 'Abraham'; and he said: 'Behold here I am.' And he said: 'Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt-offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.'
♫ God said to Abraham, ‘Kill me a son!’ Abe said, ‘Man, you must be putting me on!’ ♫
Filicide? 26
And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand and a knife; and they went both of them together. And Isaac spoke unto Abraham his father, and said: 'My father.' And he said: 'Here am I, my son.' And he said: 'Behold the fire and the wood; but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?'
That’s a fair question. Will Abe speak true like a Just Man?
27
And Abraham said: God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering. Clever! Like a Lawyer.
So they went both of them together. And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar, upon the wood. And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.
How far have the footsteps led us from the Garden of Eden? 28
“Am I my brother’s keeper?”
HERE ENDETH THE FIRST LESSON
29
And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven and said: 'Abraham, Abraham.' And he said: 'Here am I.' And he said: 'Lay not thy hand upon the lad, neither do thou anything unto him; for now I know that thou fearest god, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son, from Me.' And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, behind him, a ram caught in a thicket by his horns.
And who among you will intervene to save this ram?
30
And Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt-offering in the stead of his son.
31
Time for Another Covenant, then?
32
By myself have I sworn, saith the Lord, for because thou hath done this thing that in blessing I will bless you, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is upon the seashore. And thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies. I thought so! And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed because thou hast obeyed my voice. Unless he changes his mind. Again. HERE ENDETH THE SECOND LESSON 33
How did he expect them to behave when they entered as strangers into another country? What was the approved protocol or etiquette?
JOSHUA
6.21: And
they utterly destroyed everything that was in Jericho, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and, sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword.
So Adolf didn’t invent genocide, then.
34
JOSHUA 6.24: And they
burnt the city with fire, and all that was therein; only the silver and the gold, and the vessels of brass and of iron, they put into the treasury of the house of the Lord.
God’s banker? Did they all go along with that? 35
JOSHUA: 7.20/21: And Achan
answered Joshua. When I saw among the spoils a goodly Babylonish garment, and two hundred shekels of silver and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them; and, behold, they are hid in the earth in the midst of my tent. Tax evasion? Did they commend Achan’s honesty?
JOSHUA 7.24: And Joshua
and all Israel with him took Achan the son of Zerah, and the silver and the mantle and the wedge of gold, and his sons and his daughters, and his oxen and his asses and his sheep, and his tent, and all that he had.
Here it comes! 36
JOSHUA 7.25: And Joshua
said, Why hast thou troubled us? The Lord shall trouble thee this day. And all Israel stoned him with stones; then burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones.
37
JOSHUA 7.26: And they
raised over him a great heap of stones unto this day. So the Lord turned from his burning anger.
Pour encourager les autres?
What sort of assistance did god give in the battles? 38
JOSHUA 10.11: And as they
(the Amorites) fled before Israel, while they were going down the ascent of Bethhorn, the Lord threw down great stones from heaven upon them as far as Azekah, and they died; there were more who died because of the hailstones than the men of Israel killed with the sword.
Not a level playing field, then? 39
EPILOGUE: GENESIS TWENTY-SEVEN GOD Created MAN in his own image.
Or did WE Create GOD in OUR own image? IAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIA MIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMIAM
AM I?
40
AND THEN?
Nietzsche said: God is dead ! God said: Nietzsche is dead.
41
42
43