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MUSIC, FASHION, SPORTS, LIFESTYLE, POLITICS, MUSIC, FASHION, SPORTS, LIFESTYLE, POLITICS, MUS...
’S IT D ! E A E!! AH RE F
Summer 2008 VOL.1 ISSUE 2
MAGAZINE
eLLEN pAGE
The Oscar nominated actress proves that she’s more than a one hit wonder
sive
dJ dRAMA lu Exc
Hip Hops #1 Aphiliate goes one on one with UNLOCK
nAS
The best ever? Maybe. The most controversial? No dout
Also In This Issue:
Scarlett Johansson - Colbie Caillet - Erykah Badu - Tila Tequila - Bei Maejor - and much more!!!
Bookies Lounge
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COMING TO THE STAGE...
UNLOCK TV
2008
FROM ME TO YOU What’s happenin’
Welcome to another issue of Unlock. It’s been awhile since we’ve last spoke and a lot has changed over the last couple of months. For starters we have lost our Managing Editor Monique. That was a huge loss because she obviously meant a great deal to the mag and the quality of what we do. But like Sarah Silverman said, “When life gives you AIDS, make lemonades’, her words not mine. We’ve got a great new staff. We’ve added writers, sales reps, and the very talented Nazneen Miah has assumed the role of Managing Editor. We’ve also secured a national distribution deal which means you will start seeing Unlock in print wherever you are very soon! You may notice that this issue is a bit smaller than our last, that’s because we wanted to give you something to hold you over while we prepare for our national debut. Don’t worry though, we came pretty tough with this one. We got Ellen Page, Nas, Blase Splee, and even an exclusive interview with Dj Drama. We coming up homie! But I guess you’ll learn to expect that from Unlock, Top notch entertainment in all forms. We are the future, get down now or get out the way. We are now looking to fill executive positions in Atlanta, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Chicago, Houston, and Detroit. This is your opportunity to get in before the explosion. Send your info to Greg@unlockmag.com if your are interested. Now that the business is out the way, enjoy the issue, give feedback and I will talk to you soon. Greg Davis Editor-in-Chief
FEATURES
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: GREGORY DAVIS
MANAGING EDITOR: Nazneen Miah
Dj Drama phones in for an Exclusive interview
THE KEY HOLDERS SYLVIA RANYA E. SNOWDEN Brian Cherry Theraisa K Timothy Zyski NOAH PURCELL Christina Rivas Sean Shaffer Morin Yousif Chelcee Johns Danielle Maisano Nancy B julio jamal Zdenko Djeljevic GATINI TINSLEY
Cover Girl Ellen Page
People we love his month
DIGITAL IMAGING JEWEL GRAPHIX
Hip Hop + Lyrics + Controversy = Nas
STYLE Spring into Sophistication with Dior
MUSIC Colbie Caillat Inside a Maejor Mind
BlasĂŠ Splee the Beginnings of Success
PUBLISHED BY BLUE LABEL PUBLISHING 35 GRAND RIVER, SUITE 9B DETROIT, MI 48226 (248).747.2883
LIFE LOSING WEIGHT THE CRAZY WAY
Michigan: Tax Credits For Film Industry
Can You Seriously Cheat on the Internet??
Hollywood Tila Tequila: Trendy? Trashy? Twisted?
During the 2007 MTV Music Awards Britney Spears stumbled around the stage like a woman who had eaten to many paint chips as a child. Her performance gave mainstream media outlets plenty of fodder for articles, but I was rather surprised at the topic that the reporters chose to attach themselves to like the donut fueled parasites they are. The morning after this train wreck of a performance, CNN’s website ran a story that included the words “out of shape” in the first sentence. Britney was many things that night, the term “brain damaged” comes immediately to mind, but out of shape she wasn’t. If the fact that she was sporting a four pack instead of a six pack made her too chubby to be on stage, that means Marilyn Monroe could not get a job in Hollywood today. I think most of us would agree that a world where Ms. Monroe can only get a television gig as the Jenny Craig spokeswoman is a world that has gone off the weight obsessed deep end.
LOSING WEIGHT THE CRAZY WAY A POP CULTURE PHENOMENON
A majority of Americans live with a demented form of fitness bi-polar disorder. While wanting a body fat percentage that can only be measured with nano technology, they still treat pop-tarts and Oreos like they are a food group unto themselves. Add to this a modern media that would treat Betty Page like a pariah until she lost thirty pounds and discovered the benefits of a bikini wax and you have the conditions for a perfect storm of diet silliness. Perhaps the worst thing to happen to the diet industry was when that nerdy Jarod guy said “No Mas” to Count Chocula an embraced the idea of weight loss by sandwich. Since then millions of Americans have decided that a steady diet of twelve inch turkey clubs with mayonnaise and a diet coke will make them look Keira Knightly or the WWE’s Triple H. There are two problems with this idea. First of all calories do not work like fractions from high school math class. You cannot cancel out the caloric content of a subway product by adding a diet drink to the mix. The second problem is that if you read the small print in the Subway commercials, it states emphatically that the diet only works with the six inch versions of their most bland and tasteless sandwiches. I know it is hard to see; the text is in letters so small that one would need the Hubble telescope to see them clearly, but they are there. Apparently folks can only lose weight on the Subway diet if they are willing to narrow their food intake to bunch of subs that taste like packing foam. The next diet seems to be the product of desperation combined with a complete lack of creativity and an unhealthy dose of self loathing. The Sardine Diet is one where you take the stinkiest fish that the Pacific Ocean has to offer and call it the main course for just about every meal until you look like J.J. Walker from Good Times. The doubled edge sword about this diet is that even if you manage to lose enough weight to qualify for America’s Next Top Model, chances are nobody will want to get near you unless you’re standing downwind. Any diet where you have to choose between your fat cells and your social life is a diet you can probably do without. Those who harbor an unreasonable love of this smelly main course can purchase the book “The Sardine Diet” at Amazon.com. There is no way we can discuss crazy diets without adding a line or two about the Atkins Diet. When pork rinds are a cornerstone of your weight loss efforts there is probably something seriously wrong. Much of the media hype around Atkins centered around the mistaken notion that this diet was a heart attack time bomb. There is very little legitimate, uncontested research to support the alleged negative coronary affects of this weight loss approach, but those who want to poke holes in this diet will find it a target rich environment. For the moment let’s ignore the fact that this weight loss strategy will have the sort of influence on your colon that will solidify your future as hermit. The truth about the Atkins diet is that any program that treats fruits and grains in the same manner that a Vampire reacts to sunlight probably is not the best for your overall health. You may reach the Kate Moss ideal with Atkins, but you will be a malnourished social exile.
Most of us are aware that some rather wacky things have come out of the state of Texas. If you come from a place where the Prairie Chicken is considered the unofficial state bird and David Koresh is a low level Messiah, you can be sure a diet plan that comes from this region will be interesting to say the least. Texas seems to be the birthplace of the “Chocolate Diet”. This is a weight loss approach that is dominated by the same food that probably got the dieter into this mess in the first place. Perhaps the rationale behind this diet is that all the candy will make your teeth fall out. Without the ability to chew, weight loss will follow by default. The Detox Diet doesn’t really offer a nutrition plan, but rather leans heavily on enemas. Outside of some pockets of popularity for this diet in San Francisco, most people would put this “diet” in the icky category.. Finally we have a diet that could have only come from the mind of Larry the Cable Guy or Ted Kennedy. The book is called the “The Drink Beer, Get Thin Diet: A Low Carbohydrate Approach”. One of the selling points of the diet is that it will help you sleep even when you are not tired. On the plus side, when your sleeping this is one less opportunity to stuff a Hostess Ding Dongs into your mouth, but I doubt many medical professionals would support achieving your weight loss goals by putting yourself into an alcohol induced coma. Of course if you can get past that little issue and survive the impending liver disease, you will probably look great. The dirty little secret about diets is that just about any weight loss program will work whether it is Jenny Craig or the bourbon and fudge diet. It all comes down the simple truth of the human body that if you use more calories then you take in your going to shed pounds and inches. In today’s world we have come up with a plethora of methods to deal with the problems created by a society that celebrates even the most mediocre accomplishment with carbohydrates. These include the insanity of the diets listed in this article all the way up to the practice of mutilating ones stomach in order to make it hold fewer Twinkies. Considering the fact that we live in a culture where slicing yourself open and taking a Hoover vacuum to the fat cells is considered a legitimate treatment it would seem that the bar is pretty low for what can be considered crazy. This means that a certain percentage of people will consider even the most insane diet plans as a reasonable approach to dropping some pounds. Here is a final crazy suggestion; how about eating less and exercising? Brian Cherry
Michigan: Tax Credits For Film Industry First let me say, as a film maker, YAHOOOOOO. Ahem. I mean, it’s about time. In Lansing, a package of bills providing new film incentives, including some of the most generous of any state, won unanimous approval recently in the Michigan Senate and House committees and is headed toward a rapid vote in both chambers. Still to be worked out are some relatively minor amendments and deciding which of the Senate and House bills will be included in the final package, but Sen. Jason Allen (R-Traverse City), chair of the Commerce and Tourism Committee, said it is important to act quickly so the state can begin to take advantage on plans being made by film production companies.
“This has a lot of bipartisan support. It has a lot of potential,” Allen said.
Business, sales and income tax rebates are provided, and for the first time, filmmaking would be eligible for tax breaks provided by the Michigan Economic Development Authority.
The credits generally are to last through September 30, 2015.
Reflecting the changed role and expectations to capitalize on the economic development potential of film making the Michigan Film Office will be moved from the Department of History, Arts and Libraries to the Michigan Strategic Fund. The package permits the film office and Department of Treasury to approve credits worth up to $20 million a year and creates a new loan program. State recreational and military property, as well as local government property, would be made available at no cost, with economic benefits considered the compensation for using the property.
Approved by the House Commerce Committee and Senate Commerce and Tourism Committee were:
*HB 5841 /SB 1168 , providing a 42 percent credit - available to productions whose spending in Michigan are at least $50,000 – against the business tax for production costs in core communities, 40 percent credit for costs accumulated outside of core communities but still in Michigan and 30 percent for employee costs. HB 5844 /SB 1171 allow an equal income tax credit, but companies could not get both. *HB 5842 /SB 1169 and HB 5843 /SB 1170 repealing the sales tax credit for film companies as of December 31, 2009 and transferring the film office. *HB 5850 /SB 1177 and HB 5856 /SB 1183 also deal with the transfer of the office which is given new promotional powers and new tools to assist film companies in locating and producing projects, creates a position of film commissioner, creates a film advisory council and creates a film promotion fund to support the office. *HB 5845 /SB 1172 providing an income tax deduction for all or a portion of a gain from an original equity investment of at least $25,000 if a company produces more than one film in Michigan within two years. *HB 5846 /SB 1173 providing a 25 percent business tax credit for an investment of $100,000, bumping up to $250,000 after January 1, 2009. The credit would be available until September 30, 2015.
*HB 5847 /SB 1174 making film and media businesses eligible for MEGA tax incentives.
*HB 5848 /SB 1175 creating a film and digital media investment loan program under the Michigan Strategic Fund. The maximum loan to any film company would be $15 million. A Choose Michigan Film and Digital Media
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Loan Fund would be available to companies eligible for MEGA or MBT credits, providing $500,000 or more in loans for periods up to 10 years. Production companies would also be eligible to receive loans from the Small Business Access Program, without having to qualify as a small business.*HB 5849 /SB 1176 providing a 50 percent MBT credit for job training costs. *HB 5851 /SB 1178 , HB 5852 /SB 1179 , HB 5853 /SB 1180 , HB 5854 /SB 1181 and HB 5855 SB 1182 allowing use of state and local government property free of charge to film productions. I’ve had a lot of people ask me what this means for the state of Michigan. Well quite simply it means that we will get production companies to film here more often. We may be able to .get more than just one large production company in our state that is run by a politically driven documentary maker with his own hidden agenda Sorry Michael Moore, but I call them as I see them. Who knows, we may even be able to get a local independent film production company to make it big and become mainstream. In doing this, more jobs will be created in the state to cover the crew needs. I was the production manager of a large crew and know how many people are needed to make a film production run smoothly. Currently we have hundreds of people, just in Detroit, that work on films in hopes of making it big. Let us write our congressmen and keep pushing for this bill to continue so we, as a state thirsty for work, can have more jobs created. Hopefully we can even fulfill that dream of working for a film industry for more than just a credit. Timothy Zyski
Tila Tequila
Trendy? Trashy? Twisted? -Christina Rivas
Do you love her or hate her? Either way
you’ve been thinking of her. Unique, vivacious, bisexual, a jillof-all-trades. This sexy vixen seems to have her hand and foot in everything. She has been seen modeling, acting, rapping, and even making clothing. Remember “MTV’s : A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”? We all knew that it was coming and season two brought a lot more of Miss Tila Tequila. Has this boost in fame spoiled Tila? Many people would say so. She went from being a Myspace Queen to an MTV Reality star. That’s quite a jump and It seems to have affected her ego as well. How does she go from being a super sweet, confused bisexual girl looking for love, to the self absorbed, snotty girl from season two? On her official Myspace page she says “I love it how some people that don’t know me personally have all these different views and opinions on me.” I hate to break it to you Tila Tequila, but the more famous you become, the more people will judge you and people tend to judge from what they see. Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen was born October 24, 1981 choose her stage name of “Tila Tequila” because of a memorable incident involving tequila in junior high school. This girl has truly lived a life most people wouldn’t dream of. Tila joined random gangs, tried drugs at a young age, stole her sisters ID to get into clubs and that’s not the worst of it. She makes many claims of being self destructive such as a blog posted on her Myspace page in 2003. She asks the question, “Who here is not afraid of death but see it as setting yourself free? ME!.....I don’t wanna sleep today. Self destruction would be great right now....but I can’t think of anything creative without leaving the house.” I want to question if her voice of “self-destruction” is just a way to get attention or is it truly sincere? She has such a habit of contradicting herself, including her own sexuality. In December 2003 she wrote, “Hey I’d talk about chicks but girls are crazy man! I dated a girl long, long, long, long ago and I am never going back to that....they are emotionally insane and unstable creatures”. “It’s like a war inside.” Another quote from her blog that I find completely endearing, Probably one of the few things I believed to be truth from her. I suppose to be fair people change over time, but did this girl change or is she simply seeking more fame by appearing complicated? Born in Singapore, her family left Vietnam when Tila was just a year old and moved into Alief, a suburb of Houston. They lived in a gated community run by a very strict Buddhist Temple. She was 8 years old when the Nguyen’s moved out of the community. In junior high school she took on a tomboy persona and began getting into fights, drinking, and even admitted to trying ecstasy at 11 years old. Where does an 11 year old even get Ecstasy? Her attitude and behavior got her sent to a boarding school for six months. When she finally reached high school, she had lived a life of a young adult already. So what was the next logical step for a girl who has done everything? Join a gang or two? Her own words said that she “was really confused then.” Later she met some friends who helped her leave that lifestyle. However, as we all know, your past catches
up with you. So, when she turned 16 she decided the best thing to do was to run away to New York with $300. Of course when that ran out she ran back home. According to MTV, when she returned home, she got a fake ID and began working as a waitress in a strip club. Appearances in Stuff, Maxim, and Penthouse were the pinnacle of her modeling credits to date. Her modeling career began at 18 when she was discovered at the mall by a Playboy scout. She was later featured as “Playboy’s Cyber Girl of the week” and soon became the first Asian Cyber Girl of the Month. She used her modeling as a stepping stone for many of her other ventures. She assembled a band called “Beyond Betty Jean” where she was the singer/songwriter. After the break up of that band she worked in recording studios while she honed up her vocal and song writing skills. She later joined a band called “Jealousy” which had a record released by Myspace Records’ and Interscope. She has her own fashion line, she’s had many cameos, hosted TV shows, had a tiny role in a major movie, was even a contestant on Surviving Nugent. Nothing seems to stop this self described workaholic. But nothing compared to the debut of her very own reality tv show “A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila.” I can honestly say that I had no idea who this “bisexual” vixen was before the show. As show went through the roof, I questioned her sincerity as did many others. I sympathized with her struggle of sexuality, but, let’s explore how “realistic” her reality show was. First there was Bobby Banhardt seeming less than thrilled when he won followed by the ever popular debate about who dumped who and why. Bobby’s official Myspace blog says that she basically told him she was too busy for a boyfriend, yet she ventures forward with Season Two. Sexuality seems to be something she really has a sincere struggle with. Sex with beautiful women or sex with gorgeous men? This girl seems to have it made! Scandalous? Greedy? Lucky? Open-minded? Or just plain lost? She says everyone is bisexual and I truly believe that she believes that. Maybe I really do believe it. I just want to hug this girl who is mid 20s and still lost as ever. She still says she’s self destructive. I think she is really just a girl trying to find her way in the world. Now as I stated Ms. Tequila contradicts herself so often, in comments, in her blog, and even in her life. Now, I believe I’m in the same boat with Tila Tequila. I’ve contradicted myself. I love her just as much as I hate her. And as all of her fans and haters out there do, I just can’t seem to get enough of this multi-threat quasi celebrity
Heroic, Vengeful and Knocked-Up: The Rise of
Ellen Page By Sean Shaffer
***Every year there’s a certain movie, certain song and many certain other things that help define that year in terms of entertainment and pop culture. For choosing a breakout star, that title would most certainly have to go to Juno star Ellen Page. Not only did Page manage to score an Oscar nomination, but her sharp tongue and laid back attitude in her character of Juno somehow made the feeling of a knocked up teen more natural and less like an after school special. It’s also finally nice to see a young actress who takes their job professionally and not one who continues to get in trouble with the law, release a sex tape, or just goes commando every time she wears a dress. While 2007 may have been the year for Page to breakout in stardom, it’s not the first time she’s tackled tough and obscure roles before. Over the past couple of years, the Nova Scotia born actress has been picking up key roles and getting a lot more attention before finally becoming known to everyone as Juno. Many people, including comic geeks, first got a glimpse of Page in her role of Kitty Pryde in X3, a role that had been played by two other previous actresses. It was Page, however, who gave the role some “meat” by causing a love triangle between Iceman and Rogue, and also by showing the rise of a young hero with also the teenage angst of growing up as a mutant. While X3 was mainly overshadowed by big stars Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman, the movie did help bring Page into the spotlight as an actress and would help pave the way for what was soon to come. While X3 may have introduced Page with mainstream audiences, it was 2005’s Hard Candy that won her critical praise for her acting skills and also showed that Page wasn’t a typical teen actress. Page plays a 14 year old who confronts a possible pedophile in this tense thriller. With one setting, limited actors, and smart acting, the movie soon turns heads as Page goes from innocent schoolgirl to a revenge driven, psychotic teen. Not only does she mindfuck the antagonist to the point of an aneurism, but she also performs amateur surgery by amputating his balls. Trust me, this movie is not for date night, but it is one that showed how Page could go from cute and cuddly to vicious bitch in no time at all. Being the horror fan that I am, I found this film not only shocking, due to the touchy subject, but also friggin awesome. Then of course there’s Juno. This movie worked out perfectly through not only it’s acting, but also through direction and a kick ass screenplay. It was Page’s acting however that helped kept the movie in the minds of viewers that helped tell others to see it again and again. Page had me laughing in the beginning and almost crying in the end, not really because guys don’t cry. It was different to see a teen excited to have a baby and then by the time the day comes, reality sets in and she finally realizes what’s going to happen. Needless to say, I wasn’t the only one impressed by Page’s performance, ever heard of the Oscars?
With Hard Candy and Juno, Page established that she could not only act, but that she’s also not your typical young actress. Trust me; you won’t be seeing Page in any B-rated slasher or high school melodrama/musical. Page not only broke out this past year, but she also established that she’s going to be around for the long run. Her latest film, Smart People, looks as smart and witty as her dialogue in Juno. Also starring Dennis Quaid and Thomas Haden Church, Page again plays a high school student, but instead of being knocked up, she’s now striving to be the best she can be in academics while also dealing with her depressed dad and crazy uncle. She’s also attached to star in Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut Whip It! Things that aren’t currently on her schedule are losing custody rights of future kids or acquiring more DUIs than women Gene Simmons has slept with. Her future has more open doors than a vacant apartment building, Page’s Oscar nom for Juno is not going to be her last. She seems to have found her niche with comedies, due to her recent projects, and no one is complaining. I’m not a fortune teller or a prophet, although that would rock and would help pay the bills, but I can definitely say that Page is a star that’s not going to burn out any time soon.
Colbie Caillat
She’s
a singer, a songwriter, and a composer. She is Colbie Caillat, and she makes us feel so damn “Bubbly” every time her song is played on the radio. The 22 year old California native caught the music bug ever since childhood when her father Ken Caillat, an established audio engineer, co-produced Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” and “Tusk” albums in their Malibu home. The “Bubbly” songbird recalls Mick Fleetwood and Jon McVie being around and says “Of course I’ve learned a lot from them. You would be a fool not to”. However, it wasn’t until Colbie heard Lauryn Hill sing “Killing Me Softly” that she began to have serious intentions about music. The soon to be songstress was only 11 years old and had a long way ahead of her, but she was determined. With her parents’ help and encouragement, Colbie entered herself in a talent show. Her song of choice? “Of course I sang “Killing Me Softly” she says. It’s no surprise why Colbie would choose Lauryn Hill as an early inspiration, “I think her voice is absolutely beautiful and it made me want to start singing”, she admits. At age 15, Colbie met Mikal Blue, hence the start of beautiful things to come. Blue, a producer who has worked with Food for Fight and Carrie Underwood, hired Caillat to sing on a few techno songs he produced for a fashion show. Early on, Colbie realized that having a great voice wasn’t going to get her major respect, so she began writing her own songs. Blue and Caillat created a professional relationship and started writing songs together. Fast forward a few years, four to be exact, Colbie is 19 and interested in playing the guitar. After learning to play the acoustic guitar, she and Mikal began recording a few songs she composed. As the twosome grew together artistically, Jason Reeves enters the picture. Reeves, a singer/songwriter from Iowa, helped Colbie by lending his experience and skills to what is now the songstress debut album Coco, a nickname given to her as a kid. A lot the basic melodies were penned in her bathroom, odd but true, because it gave a reverb-y acoustic sound. The three musketeers worked together, bouncing off ideas to one another. Colbie was happy to work with people she can trust on such an important project, and would always ask for input whenever she needed help on one of her songs. “Having people you trust to bounce ideas around keeps the creativity flowing,” the vocalist has said. After having a handful of songs finished, Colbie decided it was time to market her work, and herself too. So how does one this day in age sell themselves to the masses? Myspace is every artist’s tool. Caillat isn’t the first artist to use Myspace to promote her music, many have tested this method, it’s not simple but if you’ve got the right formula, it will work. Thankfully for Colbie, it worked, especially after releasing “Bubbly” on her profile. The simple, yet catchy tune caught the attention of many users and before she knew it, Colbie Caillat was quickly rising due to the number of plays she received. “Bubbly” was quickly becoming the feel-good anthem of the summer, helping Colbie become the Myspace Artist of the Month for 4 months straight. Radio stations couldn’t get enough of her, music channels were buzzing about her, and record labels were after her. But it was Universal Republic who snatched her up and gave her the freedom to be as she is, why ruin a good thing anyway, right? In July of 2007 Miss Caillat released Coco and has sold more than 200,000 albums to date, not bad for a young chick from Malibu. Coco has been considered a breath of fresh air for music because of Colbie’s laid back, fun, feel good lyrics and mellow tunes. We can’t help but smile every time we hear “you make me smile/please stay for a while now”. America is falling for Colbie, she is well past the 15 minutes of fame and into her A-game. By Morin Yousif
Nas
Jump on the ‘Nigger’ Express, let Nas be
your conductor By: Chelcee Johns
Now boarding! All trains leaving commercial rap alone is now boarding! Now, watch Nas switch the gears. From his beloved Illmatic album where fans could drown in lust as he subtly seduced you with his rhymes...Nasir Jones is back again and all passengers are welcome to get on board and “Be a Nigger too.” The controversial title of Nas upcoming album “Nigger” has the media, artists, and fans in a frenzy. But with the continual changing of album release dates they are still waiting. “Be a Nigger too” is a single from the album that has leaked on the internet and caused more than 1,000 comments from VHI blogs, hip hop blogs,to youtube. Nas has them talking. “I’m a nigger, he’s a nigger, she’s a nigger, we some niggers. Wouldn’t you like to be a nigger, too?” Nas invites us to his land in the chorus of the song by spinning it to an old 80s Dr.Pepper commercial jingle. Just switch “nigger” for “pepper” and we have the commercial. Hmmm...commercial, a word not new to the hip hop industry. And now, many people are wandering if this is a hoax. Is the train going to land in the same place it departed, commercial land, or will they reach a different destination? Fans are waiting and Nas is preparing to take us to another level...or so it appears. “Turn your radios up. You are now allowed to listen to the radio. The real niggas are back on the radio.” Nas opens up the song by giving us permission to get back to the radio after he was ready to “roll to every station, murder the dj” if hip hop should die. Has Nas come to give life to the game? Can we really put this on falling album sales? Nas has spent half his life giving life to hip hop. Now, he’s coming to rejuvenate it. “Be a nigger too” has hearts throbbing and mouths moving more and more as fans link on, listen, and comment on all the controversy. “To all my kike niggers, spic niggers, guinea niggers, chink niggers. That’s right, y’all my niggas, too...They like to strangle niggers, blamin niggers, shootin niggers, hangin niggers.Still you wanna be a nigger, too? True..” On hiphopdx.com, there has been over 400 comments and over 98,000 spins after the song was posted. There are some that don’t agree with the excessive use of racial slurs while some find logic in the rhymes. “He is just trying to raise social awareness. Every race is discriminated against in one way or the other. Of course
the African race has endured some of the worst, but that is why the album is called ‘Nigger.’ People can’t ignore a problem and hope it will go away,” read one comment from YouTube’s post of the song. On YouTube, the single has generated over 450 comments and over 40,650 spins in one post, but there are many other video posts commenting on “Be a nigger too.” Nas is a genius. Whether you like it or not, you can’t fight it. He’s keeping his name in your mouth and next your money in his pockets. It’s a business, but why not stir up some trouble on the way to making millions. I don’t think it’s a publicity stunt, Def Jam could hire someone and make him into what they wanted and make their money either way. Why do you think his album still isn’t released when originally it was to grace stores in the winter of 2007? Everyone’s wandering if society is ready to “be a nigger too.” Dialogue, that’s what it is all about. Get people
possible Nass album cover
officers were acquitted of murder charges after shooting a black unarmed suspect 50 times-, the Jena 6 case, and the brutal kidnapping and rapping of Megan Williams, Nas is asking if you want to “be a nigger too.” “I’m the man you go to war with, not a man you go to war against. Patience, I’ll get you. If that means I can’t sleep a whole year, I’m a get you,” Nas spits in his final verse of the song. So, don’t fight it. Stand in line and board the train. Sit back, try to relax, and the chat with the passengers because no matter what we say Nas will continue to make moves. Now boarding! All trains leaving the commercial land and arriving in the real brand of hip hop get aboard.
Drama on a Global Level By NOAH PURCELL
Brick by mixtape brick the house that Tyree ‘DJ Drama’ Simmons, built has become an institution in hip-hop and while law enforcement and the RIAA threatened to take a wrecking ball to his career in Jan. 2007 in the form of a much publicized raid DJ Drama has rebounded, showcasing a new wing in the form of Gangster Grillz The Album, released late last year.
H
aving just returned from a tour which included the Scandinavian countries, Germany and Dubai, DJ Drama, whose work in the acclaimed Gangster Grillz mixtape series has involved T.I., Young Jeezy and Lil’ Wayne, seems well aware of how far he has come. “It’s just a great experience. It’s amazing, I started with two turntables and a mixer in my mom’s house in my bedroom. To be able to travel to foreign lands and put an album out and be on TV … It’s very humbling sometimes to look back on,” DJ Drama said. “Traveling is one of my favorite things to do, it’s just a great experience to go overseas, to go to other cultures and meet other people so far away from what I call home and who appreciate and respect what I do, what hip-hop culture is about.” Hip-hop’s spread around the world is something that DJ Drama is only too happy to be a part of. “A party is a party, you know you can tell by people’s vibes and energy level and hands in the air how they appreciate it, as a DJ that comes with the territory wherever I’m at,” DJ Drama said. “I did Dubai, Norway, Sweden and Germany and each event was like a different crowd, I mean I went from in Norway playing for 10,000, 20,000 high school graduate Norwegians where I was playing Nirvana and Joan Jett ‘I love rock and roll’ to Germany where it felt like being in the south.” As hip-hop is celebrated across the globe, DJ Drama feels the music continues to be important as an information device. “I think hip hop in a lot of ways has educated the world on a lot of issues especially race relations, class relations, culture differences, I say it all the time, as oil is to the middle east, hip-hop is to the United States of America, it’s one of the biggest exports from this country. Anywhere in the world you can hear 50 Cent, you can’t be in China and hear music from
Australia, you’re not going to be in Dubai and necessarily hear music from Shanghai but you can go anywhere and hear hiphop music,” DJ Drama said. “I think hip-hop in a lot of ways has opened up a lot of doors and by saying that it’s a huge information system because of the people where it comes from and the amount of information it transmits worldwide.” As the memory of screaming Norwegians fades along with his jet lag, Drama’s recent activities are in stark contrast to the events of last year when he was arrested, along with his Aphilliates Music Group partner DJ Don Cannon, on racketeering charges stemming from a raid on his studio in which 81,000 mixtapes were seized. “Half of (the case) is settled. The criminal case is yet to be settled but we’re moving in a good direction, the case is a year away, I’ve completely moved on from the situation and everything, it is what it is, it was what it was, I look forward to it being completely over shortly and moving forward.” Though the case was covered by media across the nation, including The New York Times, Drama is quick to shoot down the notion that it will be the defining moment of his career. “Basically I don’t think I have to work to distinguish my legacy … in the scheme of things when you look at it from a hiphop perspective what I went through and how I came out of it, it’s very hiphoppish,” Drama said. “Like I said on my album I took the fall for hip-hop, I got locked up for something that’s been a part of hip-hop from the beginnings and everyone knew my importance to the game and to the mixtape game and also what I accomplished before that and what I have accomplished after that and what I will continue to accomplish. I’ve said this before but my book is long and that’s just one chapter in my book, my story doesn’t begin there nor does it end there.” In terms of significant chapters in his career, Drama is understandably
proud of Gangsta Grillz: The Album, his first on Atlantic Records. The album features southern stalwarts such as T.I., Young Jeezy and Project Pat as well as industry heavyweights like Diddy, Nelly and Outkast. “I feel quite confident and quite happy about my album, I have a great response from critics and fans alike,” Drama said of the album sales of which are at 300,000 according to his management. With Gangsta Grillz: The Album bearing the name of his acclaimed, genre defining and massively popular Gangster Grills mixtape series, the major label release had a lot to live up to, a point that DJ Drama was assuredly well aware of as he went into the production process. “I didn’t approach (Gangsta Grillz: The Album) differently I just approached it at a rapider rate … just more (went) into it, it was just a bigger canvas, a bigger screen, it was like going from TV shows to the movies so it was a lot more work, a lot more paperwork and everything but I approached it the same way, I wanted to give it the same sound that people knew me for.” Having collaborated with some of the biggest names in hip-hop in his series of Gangsta Grillz mixtapes, graced the cover of magazines and appeared on TV and in movies, Drama’s success is not lost on him. “It’s very humbling sometimes to look back on it and think about when I was young … growing up watching Snoop and watching Diddy to today to answering my phone when Snoop and Diddy call me. It’s a great feeling but at the same time it still pushes you. I know how the game works and how the game moves so I try to never get comfortable, never get content.” Currently DJ Drama is working on a mixtape with 50 Cent and G-Unit but is also cultivating his own stable of performers within the Aphilliates Music
Group, which he cofounded with DJ Don Cannon and DJ Trendsetter Sense. “There’s always people I’d like to work with but I’m pushing my own movement forward, I got crazy artists on my label, Willie the Kid, LA the Darkman, we just signed a new artist named Lonnie Mac, my man Don Cannon on the production side of the game, I’m putting out my next album, of course I’m working hand in hand with the homie T.I., Grand Hustle has a lot of new artists coming up, Of course there’s always going to be artists I look forward to working with but as much as the established artists, I like to work with new artists those just getting started and really break new ground.” DJ Drama’s drive and determination in what can be an incredibly hard industry to sustain popularity in can be traced back to his early days growing up in Philadelphia. “I take influences from all over the place, definitely my parents, who were very disciplined in their own careers, they instilled that in me,” DJ Drama said. “What motivated me was just the fact that I was loving what I was doing, I was a youngster when I started, in my teens, so I did it for the love really, coming where I come from in Philly I was around a lot of hustlers at the time, hustlers meaning like people who hustle not necessarily like illegal hustles but in the sense of what it is. I hustled and I learned the ways, it was fun for me, it was what I enjoyed doing and that was what pushed me and motivated me in the early years.” Welcoming the greater responsibilities that come with success, DJ Drama lives an ever-changing lifestyle as the demands of his profession do not necessarily come with 9-5 hours. “It all changes, it all depends, some days are normal, some days I’m up at eight, at work by ten and in the studio, on the phone and take lunch and back to the studio
and on the computer and doing work like that. It depends, another normal day might be lunch in Tokyo and dinner in Europe. It all varies depending on what I’m doing. It’s also a blessing because my job doesn’t get stagnant all the time, it changes a lot. At the same time I like my regular days when I’m up early and at the studio by 12 and home by eight.” A regular day affords DJ Drama quality time with his two daughters, who are six and two years old respectively. “I may not get to see them as much as I would like to when I’m on the road and everything but it also what I do and my traveling also guarantees a better life for them so. It impacts your home life, the industry in a lot of ways is not the greatest family environment but at the end of the day I believe everything is what you make it. I’m able to juggle the two in a good way I think.” DJ Drama’s oldest daughter is a frequent guest in
the studio and DJ Drama the parent feels that the adult themes of the majority of his music are best kept off of her plate for the time being. “She’s always in the studio, I have a drop step I have from her that we play on the radio and she just took up piano lessons. She definitely is aware that her dad is DJ Drama and she knows who T.I. is and I let her listen to the radio. I censor a lot of things but at the same time it’s what I do, I don’t try to make it as if it is a bad thing, a lot of people disagree with that, I mean it’d be one thing if I was in porn or something but you just have to censor it.” With the release of Gangsta Grillz: The Album DJ Drama is on rarefied ground for a DJ. Despite his success DJ Drama does not see any letting up in his future. “I still feel like I’ve got a lot to accomplish, there’s still a lot for me to do. I still feel like a rookie in a lot of ways.”
People we love this month...
Erykah Badu
People we love this month...
Mark Wahlberg
People we love this month...
People we love this month: Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett Johansson
People we love this month...
Megan Good
Blasé Splee the Beginnings of Success
The Detroit music scene is not a bad place to be for aspiring bands at the moment. You could go as far to say it’s not really a scene as much as it is a community of artists working together to promote the resurgence of creativity that has come creeping from all corners of the city. One band that best exemplifies this new indie scene is the band Blasé Splee. They are a strong representation of the movement that supports them. They’ve taken over a little block of houses in Royal Oak, the artsy little suburban off- shot of Detroit, and come together to create a sound that is both poppy while at the same time unique with undercurrents of that timeless rock ‘n roll of another era. Armed with forties and cigarettes, I was invited to one of the homes talk with the band and discuss, of course, them.
The band
formed less than a year ago, a random combination of old high school friends and locally spotted talent. Of course they did mention having a somewhat interesting experience with a bass player they found off Craig’s List, which left them strongly advising others against using the web site to recruit band members. He apparently didn’t work out. They describe their sound as catchy pop music, with an older feel. Or as one band member put it, “Nothing we can’t play while we’re wasted makes the cut.” But the less is more approach seems to be working well, they have about them a distinctly polished sound you don’t often find without a some kind of label to back it up. But the band isn’t worried about things like labels. Word of mouth has expanded their audience and helped them to achieve a decent amount of fame in a very short amount of time at the local level.
They are one of those rare bands that are better when experienced live than simply by recording. The three part harmonies sound fuller and there is a rawness yet sophistication to their sound that is not often heard from bands just surfacing. The energy with which they perform easily transcends to the audience who really can’t help but dance around, the catchy and chaotic beats help as well. Their last show in Hamtramck was especially packed and the band was pleased to note that there were few faces in the venue that they recognized. This was somewhat surprising to hear because they were the only band to play that night that had the full attention of the audience from the beginning of the set right up until the last chord was struck.
When I asked where they wanted all this to lead they admitted that it didn’t really matter. “We’re not making music with a final goal,” stated Carl Larson, who’s responsible for guitar, vocals and piano, “We need to make Their video for the first single off the music to live, if something comes self -titled EP, “Everybody Needs A from that great.” Larson, a mortgage Way”, shows the Bohemian roots of banker by day, is the money behind their success while paying homage the operation. They point out that with to the community from which they the internet, there is less need to have emerged. The video was featured on You Tube and has received over 3,500 the support of a major label and it’s much easier for a band to promote views on the music web site Grouthemselves via outlets like Myspace. per. It was the result of two days of Of course they admit it would be nice condensed creativity. The band infor distribution purposes, right now the vited friends and local artists to 1039 only way to purchase one of the bands Knowles, the Blasé Splee headquarCDs is to attend a show, but right now ters, to participate in the videos crethe band is happy with where things ation. Mike Frelick, who plays piano and does some of the vocals, also has a are going. They will begin recording a full length album that will hopefully degree in digital media. Using rodoscope animation he combined the 1100 be finished by mid summer, it will be completely self produced out of the frames of random drawings that were basement of one of their houses in the result of the collaboration into an Royal Oak. inventive work of artistic ability.
They aren’t a very ambitious group for the level of originality that their music seems to be achieving, but its working for them nonetheless. Perhaps the reason they click so well is because it seems everyone is open to everyone else and they all admit that they have never been in a band with so much freedom to experiment and still have it come out sounding so put together. “We want pretentious people to like us, but not to be pretentious people,” said Frelick, which is interesting enough due to the somewhat pretentious vibe the band gives but maybe it’s just because the quality of their sound is pretty impressive. They do give off somewhat of an art rock vibe, sort of the early Sid Barrett years of Pink Floyd but that’s really the only thing I could compare them to. When I asked what their musical influences were, I was immediately told never to ask that question of a band by member Jon Berz, who plays to many instruments to list, “There’s a big difference between what you listen to and what you want to do musically,” he said. While Dave Wisbiski, the bass player, made it known several times throughout the interview that the only music he listened to was their band. They are as interesting a bunch of people as the sound which they produce. A recent write up in The Metro Times describes their sound as “unclassifiable”, and isn’t that the ultimate achievement for any up and coming artist? Whether they care to be or not, Blasé Splee seems to be on their way to stardom, just give them a listen and instantly you’ll know what I mean. By Danielle Maisano
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As I was starting my article I wound up having a bit of writers block. Even though I had a very lenient time frame, I still scrambled for my topic and even my title. I started wanting to do a bit of research to incorporate my thoughts and fact with some real life events; when just the other day while starting my dinner, I saw on the Dr. Phil Show exactly what my article is about. I didn’t sit to watch the whole show, because my dinner was on the stove. I did turn up the television and proceeded with my dinner, while learning about this crazy topic. Many of us have computers and we use them on a day to day basis whether it’s for work, school or leisure. With the Internet just a click away, we can do a countless amount of things on them and even get into some trouble. We can find low discounted prices on all kinds of things, to working from home and even dating… Yes dating. I was totally shocked by the things that people do online. As I listened to Dr. Phil, there was a woman on his show who had gotten into an online relationship with a man who told her that he was over in Iraq with the US Military. Now, as strange as that may sound to me and maybe even you, this woman felt okay with this relationship until it came time to see her man and she never saw him. To make her long story short, Dr. Phil had this man investigated. He was
By:
Nancy B.
married; rather the wife called herself a quasi wife and living in Florida. Now, this went on for two years, and I failed to mention that they were engaged as well. It was hilarious to me, I couldn’t imagine being in an online relationship with a person. Let alone being desperate enough to say, I’m engage and never saw him. I began to see that this online dating and even online cheating doesn’t discriminate on color sex or age. Cause her ass was grown as hell in her late forty’s. I was totally bugged out by people’s actions and I don’t want to go too deep into my personal views about Internet dating, because I know that some of the readers may have or will do it. I do have a question for you, when is Internet chatting considered cheating? Or is it? I have a MySpace page and I’m sure many of you do too. I get friends requests and even messages asking to chat with me or telling me that I look good. I never respond to those, I’m happily in a relationship. My mate questioned me about the MySpace thing, because of Internet cheating. His wild thoughts came from things he’d been watching on the talk shows about Internet cheating. But, it’s never once crossed my mind to talk to a person online and especially strike up an online relationship with them. Man, some of the things that I’ve been seeing on MySpace, should be
banned from my innocent little eyes (jk). I guess I see how a person could get a little caught up and want to see more of what’s he\she is already seeing. Now, I’m not totally oblivious to what’s up out here, but I’m just a little old fashioned, so dating on line is a definite no go for me. I just feel like a person can tell you anything online. You don’t know who you’re talking to, what they look like or what they’re capable of. A person needs to see gestures. When you say certain things how the person responds. Is this person in a relationship? Yeah… I know a person could lie to your face too, but you can pretty much feel things face to face. I have a really good example of some of the craziness that goes on online. A friend of mine and her boyfriend really got into an explosive fight, because he checked her MySpace account and saw that guys had been sending her friends requests and emailing her, although she proved the emails to be harmless the trouble didn’t end. She wanted to see his account and OMG was it bad. He’d been getting emails from women saying all types of explicit things. I will assume that he’d been meeting up with these women, cause I can’t see that one is just having conversation with the garbage that she found. He was upset with her checking his account, and she told him that he checked her account and that he was being hypocritical. And he was... He told her that it’s called MySpcae, not YourSpace. I thought that was funny seeing how he invaded her space too. I don’t know how that story ended and neither does she, but I do know that she hasn’t been back on MySpace and as for him, we’ll never know. I know that the online thing can be very dangerous and destroy relationships, and even lives. At first glance, I didn’t see how this could be so serious; I now understand that it does actually question the fidelity of your mate. There has been and are countless amounts of incidents where people have found their mates writing love letters to another individual in another state as far at 3000 miles away. I sat up until 2AM reading about how women were very upset when they found their husbands writing sexually suggestive notes and online chat logs to other women and even men. It really tripped me out. I couldn’t fathom the idea, but you’ll never know who is behind a keyboard and a monitor and what they’ll say to whom. Some of the unlikeliest people have had some hot and steamy internet talk while their mate was in the same room or sleeping. According to statistics 46% of men believe that online affairs are adultery. DivorceMag How’s that for a reality check? About 70% of time spent on the internet is spent in chatrooms or sending emails, which a vas amount are romantic in nature Dr. Michael Adamse, PhD., co-author of “Affairs of the Net: The Cybershrinks’ Guide to Online Relationships”. I guess it’s like Jay-Z said himself “women lie, men lie, numbers don’t”. And that’s that, with that. I guess now days, with growing technology, there’s more to discuss in our relationships, more things to come to agreement on before taking that plunge into marriage and even serious relationships. It doesn’t mean that it won’t happen, but at least both partners will know where the “line” is and how one another feel about Internet Chatting and Advertising..(laughing) If you do suspect your mate of doing a little Internet buzz work I say, go get some counseling, don’t throw out the computer and cancel the subscription to the Internet. Treat this and any form of cheating seriously. Get help, that’s the first step. It’s a wake up call for me, I hope it was for you too. It was fun, but I gotta go. See ya next issue.
Inside a Maejor Mind By Julio Jamal Detroit will have its day in the sun! And a maejor force behind the new generation of hip hop is in right in your backyard. Hailing from Metro Detroit, he has worked with many artists in the music industry including Bun B, Trey Songz, Jim Jones, Yung Joc, Sean Kingston, Plies, Chingy, Keke Palmer, I-15, Nickelus F, and many of your favorite Detroit independent artists. He balances being a professional music producer and CEO of a We Maejor Entertainment music label all while still being a full time student at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring to you the mind behind the music, Song Book’s own, Bei Maejor.
J. Jamal: You are becoming a pretty hot commodity in the music game. Is there a difference in a Bei Maejor “industry track” and an “independent track”, if so, what is it? Bei Maejor: No, there is really no difference man. Just depends on who picks it up. J.J.: Many producers in the game now are “copycat” producers and just bite a hot producer’s sound; but, your sound is rather unique. Where does your musical inspiration come from? B.M.: I listen to a lot of Stevie Wonder, Bob Marley, and classic stuff like that. I also listen to rare electronica and anything I can find that’s different. I hardly listen to urban radio or anything. J.J.: Now that we know where your inspiration comes from, what equipment do you use to make your tracks come to life? B.M.: Right now, I have an MPC, a few keyboards, a Novation synth and my computer. I switch my sounds up a lot though; I haven’t got caught up with one particular piece of equipment. J.J.: When listening to your music you can tell that you have a very well trained ear. Are they any suggestions that you have for new producers/artists that can help them have a more polished sound? B.M.: In my opinion, I’d say to just listen to music that moves you in some way and is unique. Then, don’t just hear it, try and understand WHY you like it. That’s a big part of it to me.
J.J.: A lot of up and coming artists/producers think that they can become overnight successes. How long did it take you to break in to the industry and how long has it been since the day you started? B.M.: I was producing, just having fun, for at least 2 years before I did anything professionally. So that makes about 5 to 6 years that I’ve been making tracks; about 3 professionally. J.J.: Name an artist dead or alive that you would love to work with and why. B.M.: Bob Marley. My family has roots in Jamaica, so that would be big. J.J.: Who and what are some of the new artists and projects you are working on? B.M.: I’ve been working on things all over the board. Until I get paid I don’t want to say any specific names; (hahaha) labels though, Universal, Bad Boy, Def Jam…. slowly but surely getting there. J.J.: The life a producer/executive must be pretty tiresome, so what do you do in your spare time? B.M.: Man I really just like to chill out with close friends and family. That’d be the best thing. J.J.: I’d like to say it’s been a privilege to have you answer some questions for us, and now is there a message that you want to say to your fans, friends, family and what have you (Shout outs)? B.M.: Haters wassup?! J.J.: Thanks man, stay blessed. B.M.: You too man thanks a lot!
For more information on Bei Maejor you can check him out on myspace.com/beimaejor.
OPINION
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Djeljevic
Spring into Sophistication with Dior
or -GATINI TINSLEY
Glamorous sophistication rocks Dior’s 2008 spring line. The look...40s glamour, so become the 40s pinup you are inside and don’t be scared to use bold eyeliner extended out past the end of your eyelids. New York based Dior makeup artist Nick Caridi, who has worked with Ford models and the infamous girls next door (of Hugh Hefner’s girls) advises us to “use an eyeliner brush to apply eyeliner, it gives more control.” The new spring look can be achieved with a mix of metallics on eyelids and bronzers on the face to illuminate skin. Caridi says “this spring is all about luminescence, not frost.” Say goodbye to high shine lip gloss and opt for a matte finish lipstick in any shade of red to complete that 40s glam vixen look.
Beauty Q and A with Dior makeup artist Nick Carodi Q. You only have 5 minutes to look sexy and magnificent, what do you need? A. Mascara Eyeliner Lipstick
Q. We see it all the time, women walking around with a face that’s either darker or lighter than their neck and chest, how do we pick the right foundation? A. Rub it on your hand in one spot; with your thumb spread it across your hand. If you don’t notice the foundation, that’s the perfect match. Remember, foundation is no longer a mask, apply a liquid foundation in spots with a synthetic brush to reduce bacteria from formulating in the brush and product. Q. How can we prevent the summer makeup meltdown? A. Use powder, it sets makeup and prevents it from melting. Q. What makeup looks have we moved away from in 2008 that were hot in 2007? A. We’re stepping away from shimmery lips and moving to shimmery eyes.
Di
Unlock Beauty Tip of the Month
Wash your face twice a day. Once in the morning and once at night to remove all makeup. Dior makeup artist and treatment specialist Carolyn Fennelly says “not washing your face is the worst mistake people can make; it will set your regimen back two weeks. Makeup goes into pores, clogs them, ages skin and causes breakouts.” Beauty Math ( the important kind of math) 1 missed face wash per month = 2 weeks aged skin 1 missed face wash every month for 1 year = 24 weeks aged skin Total: nearly 6 months of aged skin by not washing makeup off 1 time per month…yikes!
Essentials Unlocked for creating your new look Spotlight on Dior
Diorskin Shimmer Stars reflective powder glistens the face in a gemstone powder. (Macy’s $42)
Dior Flower Blossom Compacts pastel colored translucent powder offers luminous radiance to the face. Its flower encrusted design is inspired by infamous Dior jewelry designer Victoire de Castellance. (Macy’s $52)
Pout this! Luscious Rouge Dior in blood red. (Macy’s $27)
Diorshow Blackout Mascara made from Arabic gum and coal adds dramatic effect to lashes. (Macy’s $23)
Sexual Healing I’ve been with my girlfriend or 3 years. We are best friends who spend all of our free time together. She’s ready to take our relationship to the next level and that’s cool but the problem is that she has put on a bit of weight since we’ve been together and I’m afraid the weight gain won’t stop. Help me out here. Pete I don’t quite understand what you are asking but I’m going to give it a shot anyway. Your girlfriend/ best friend is getting fatter by the day and you don’t want to be stuck with the fat girl. I guess that’s fair but that’s usually what happens, do you not want her to age either. Talk to her about it, add exercise to all that free time you spend together or maybe propose a healthy diet for the two of you. Or maybe you can just love her for who she is, I mean it sounds like she loves you even though you’re obviously a dick.
The guy I’m dating just told me that he’d been in prison for 15 years. He assumed once I found out that I would no longer want to deal with him. He was right! How do I handle the guilt? I’m a black woman and I want to support my black men but this is more drama then I can handle. Sasha Embrace the guilt, You deserve it! Did he go to jail for rape or murder? How many mistakes have you made in your perfect life? His mistake just happened to get him 15 years. If this is your way of showing support you can keep it... With that said, Send your number and a picture, maybe I can help you forget about that convict.
Send your relationship advice questions to greg@unlockmag.com
JOKE OF THE MONTH
In tribute to my favorite comedian George Carlin RIP Here are some Funny George Carlin jokes and quotations: Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny? What was the best thing before sliced bread? One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How is it possible to have a civil war? If God dropped acid, would he see people? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it? Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”? Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?
If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole damn airplane made out of that shit? Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
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