Health & Wellbeing

When was the last time you took some time out for yourself? I mean really took time for you, to do something you enjoy, to relax, switch off, treat yourself? We’re always so busy running around after other people – kids, grandchildren, parents, grandparents, friends. In the hustle and bustle, juggling life, work and family, we often neglect ourselves. Certainly, in the last two years, self-care has become more of a priority for people. Realising that self-care isn’t selfish and is actually needed to help us beat burn-out and enable us to do everything we want and need to do has to be a good gear-change in our psyche. What can you do for selfcare? It doesn’t have to take too long or be expensive. Just going for a walk can lift spirts very quickly or why not indulge with a walk in the forest - I love wandering through the woods and taking in nature. If getting out of the house is tricky, run yourself a long bath, turn your phone off, light some candles and relax back into a warm and welcoming cocoon. Many of us find it hard to switch off – but a ‘busy brain’ can be calmed with simple meditation techniques – again easily done at home. There’s also a real resurgence in pampering days – for men, women, even whole families. There’s something special about being away from ‘normal’ routine and enjoying time out for your body and brain. With this in mind, this month I’ve launched a brand-new treatment combination for the ultimate time out and selfcare. It includes my Signature Treatment of a 75-minute massage with body brushing and Thai foot cleanse combined with a Therapeutic Facial. This ultimate pamper allows you to really relax, switch off and recoup. With Mother’s Day around the corner, it also makes an excellent gift for a loved one. The whole treatment will leave your body relaxed, replenished and refreshed ready to get back to life. And remember, massage is not only great for relaxation. It reduces stress and can improve sleep patterns. It’s also a painkiller – reducing muscle pain and soreness as well as an important tool in aiding post-surgery and post-injury recovery. Hard to believe too – but while you’re resting and relaxing, a massage is actually helping increase flexibility and improve range of movement to your body. Now, that’s got to be worth taking time out for!

Take time out for you

Jemma Sandell is an Advanced Massage & Beauty Therapist and owner of Relax & Remedy, Ferndown. Visit: relaxandremedy.co.uk.

Exploring Stour & Avon

with retired Dorset rights of way officer CHRIS SLADE

Edmondsham

Edmondsham a little village about a mile south of Cranborne. The parish is fairly small with not many paths so this exploration of a little over five miles is mainly on Tarmac but with some ventures into the countryside. Park in the street near the village pump, which was the village water supply until they got piped water in their houses in the 1950s. Walk westwards, pausing to peer at Edmondsham House, which goes back to Tudor times. Then visit the church, parts of which are even older. Then walk back along the road, south eastwards for a mile or so until you come to a junction. Here you turn left, north, to Gotham (not Gotham City!) where there is a Heavy Horse Centre. Follow the road right around the bend, eastwards, until the next bend to the north. Here you might like to leave the road and continue eastwards along a bridleway for a while to explore Telegraph Plantation and Pistle Down. Then return to the road and head north for a furlong to join the footpath leading through the Heavy Horse Centre. The path soon turns left and heads north west across fields to join a byway close to the parish boundary. Head south along the byway, which may have awkward puddles after rain, until you get back to Gotham. Retrace your steps back along the road until you get to Smallbridge Farm, opposite which is a permissive path which takes you northwards up into woods. At a junction at the hilltop, turn left, westwards, for a quarter of a mile where you’ll meet a bridleway that takes you south westwards back to your car.

Edmondsham House Pic: MIKE SEARLE

Health & Wellbeing How to ask yourself the right questions

By Susie Carver, consulting hypnotherapist with Sea Change Hypnotherapy in Wimborne seachangehypno.com

If it was easy to listen to our logical minds life would be so much easier, wouldn’t it? And yet sometimes we find ourselves having irrational or obsessional thoughts, ruminating over things that may or may not happen and getting ourselves into a thoroughly anxious state. You might know you’re being irrational, but you can’t seem to keep the crazy thoughts at bay. And you begin to ask yourself: ‘Why am I feeling like this? What’s wrong with me?’ And that just seems to make everything even worse! You become stuck in what’s known as a negative psychodynamic loop. Anxiety is simply the condition of rehearsing our next problem. We become like actors rehearing their lines for a play - and the more we rehearse, the better we get at it. We not only get better at rehearsing our next problem - we get better at creating our next problem! So we need to rehearse the outcomes that we actually want. To do this we can begin by asking ourselves the right sort of empowering questions, and engaging the imagination in the right way. When we begin to question things in a productive rather than destructive way our unconscious mind starts to work for us instead of against us. ‘Why’ questions keep us stuck - they make us focus on our problem: Why me? Why am I so useless? Why can’t I stop thinking like this? Our brain will generate an answer in response, but it’s unlikely to be a helpful one. It will only reinforce what we are already telling ourself. Instead try asking the following type of questions: ‘What if’ questions actively cause your unconscious to consider other outcomes and possibilities. What if I am OK? What if I can do this? What if it all works out just fine? ‘How’ questions cause our unconscious to start thinking about how we can achieve these outcomes. They move us from problem state to solution state. How can I feel calmer? How can I get better at this? How much fun can I have doing this? Our brains are designed to answer questions and solve problems, so make sure you are asking yourself the right ones, and repeating them frequently. Then you’ll open up a whole new sense of freedom and empowerment over your thoughts.

Change doesn’t just happen

There are always many possible future versions of ourselves. Change isn’t just something that happens to us; each day our actions and behaviours will influence our future. People often ask me how they can stay motivated with their fitness. What’s the secret? Motivation can be great to get us started with something, but to keep it going you need something more solid. This is my approach; I have a clear vision of how I want to live my life, what I enjoy doing and what I hold dear. To accomplish this involves looking after myself and this is also linked to me looking after other people. If I’m fit and well, I’m able to care for others better; my family, my clients, my friends. This is important as it moves the focus from just being about me, to being about others and about what I care for. Of course it isn’t always as perfect as it sounds, but it makes me much more productive than if I was drifting along with no idea where I wanted to go. Motivation comes and goes, but rather than worrying about that, I just focus on the little things that have to get done in the meantime to reach my goals, my vision for myself. This boils down to actions and behaviours which then have a higher purpose and meaning than if I was just doing random stuff. My actions are broken down into daily and weekly habits and activities; small steps keep me progressing and focusing on what makes me happy. Those of you that know me will recognise I do get distracted and veer off sometimes. An important point here is to make it easy for yourself to get back on track. One of my actions is I do 10 push ups a day as I want to build upper body strength. If I miss a day I just go back to doing 10 a day. I don’t try to do 20. If I skipped a week (which I did recently) or two weeks; I don’t tell myself the threshold for getting back on track is doing 70 or 140. Why? Because that would mean I’d most likely never restart. Goals may be ambitious, but actions must be, well actionable! Finally, I make myself accountable. Often plans get side tracked or derailed. That is to be expected. My bigger vision inspires me but it’s the small steps that easily get me back on track without having to turn my life upside down to make progress. Whether we do or don’t do something, time will pass anyway and life will change. Rather than seeing change as a risk, find purposeful change as perhaps the most unimaginative version of our future self is the one where we think we can’t change or we’re not capable of a better life.

Katrina Keeling is a Wimborne-based Personal Trainer. She coaches at WOW Ladies Fitness and independently.kkfitness.co.uk kkeelingfitness@gmail.com

Community meditation centre opens

Lunchbreak meditation and the healing art of reiki are just two of the therapies on offer at a new community ‘pay what you can’ wellness project which has opened in Wimborne. Circle Meditation Centre, a community-focused enterprise designed to bring together alternative health practitioners with the people who need them the most, is the vision of social entrepreneur Samantha Bird. “I want to provide a space that allows practitioners to practice and the community to access help, with both parties operating on a ‘pay what you can’ transactional understanding, removing the block of money from the equation,” she said. “This fulfils two functions - it makes help accessible and affordable to everyone, and allows practitioners to build their client base and their reputation.” Circle, in Quarterjack Mews, will be providing an array of meditation sessions each day, including a ‘lunchbreak’ meditation which will give local people the chance to step away from their busy lives for a 15-minute oasis of calm, said Samantha, who is a meditation teacher, life coach and herbalist The timetable also includes reiki and meditation for mums with Nina Dixon of Mother Nurture UK, and Kundalini yoga workshops led by Leah Morgan of StillWeRiseCoaching. “My aim is to grow as a community of healers and to support each other to bring health and healing to as many people as we can,” said Samantha. “I’d like Circle to become a living directory of people whose lives are focused on helping others, so no matter who is looking for advice, they will be able to find the right person among us to help them.” A timetable of events and sessions can be found at: circlemeditationcentre. co.uk.

Health & Wellbeing

Be the change you wish to see

I’ve never really aspired to sharing my opinions on what I think is good, bad or indifferent in the world, whether it’s politics, religion or the effect of climate change, etc. For I appreciate that we all have differing opinions, made up from our own individual experiences, beliefs and influences that surround us. And anyway, who am I to say that my opinion is better than anyone else’s? However, the world seems pretty crazy to me right now and I find myself compelled to write. I believe, as millions of individual little animals all living together on this planet, we are also all trying to survive in our own little mini-worlds, in our own minds. As individuals we go into battle daily with ourselves, with others, trying to keep a roof over our head, bringing up our children as best we can, caring for others, dealing with ill health, trauma, bereavement. All this, and more, can take a toll on our wellbeing. Life can be overwhelming. We may churn with a mix of emotions. We may feel scared, anxious, helpless, perhaps angry, or sad. What do we do with these feelings? Where do they go? When all around us is in disarray, and the world seems pure crazy, if you can, find yourself a tiny corner of calm just for you. Only you know what that calm looks like. Only you know what you need. Maybe go sit and stare at the majestic sea. Go trudge through the mud and feel the wind on your cheeks. Immerse yourself in a book. Go pound the treadmill at the gym. Wrap yourself in a blanket and feel warm and cosseted. Find that thing that is just for you, so that you can just be. If you cannot find a piece of calm to be immersed in, then maybe look to what supports you. Where do you get your comfort? Who do you feel safe around? Who can you talk to and be yourself with? For me, my dog is a constant source of comfort and support. She follows me wherever I go, pushing herself against me when I sit, she can sense when I am sad and nuzzles in to soothe me. Whatever your support is, use it, lean into it, let it love you. Be okay with feeling what you feel. I would encourage you to allow your feelings to wash through you so that your mind, body and soul can process them. Sit with your feelings and see what they say to you. Do they empower you to take action? Do they tell you what you need? Listen to them. And rest assured that those feelings will change in time. They will pass. When you have had that small piece of calm or leant on that supporting crutch, and you return to your mini merrygo-round on the large ferris wheel that is our world, try to be grateful for what you have, try to be kind to those around you, endeavour to be the best possible person that you can be. And as Mahatma Ghandi said: ‘Be the change that you wish to see in the world.’

n Victoria Arnold is a life coach from Wimborne Victoriaarnold.co.uk