A short marriage but enduring legacy

by Lorraine Gibson

Sunny June, with its profusion of roses, is the traditional month for weddings, so how better to get in the mood for romance than with the poignant love story of Walter and Henrietta, who played an integral part in the history of the Bankes family of Kingston Lacy. Photos of Walter and Henrietta Bankes from the Bankes Family Archives offer a fascinating and, at times, moving insight into their marriage and family life at Kingston Lacy and on days out on Studland Beach.

In 1869, after a carefree existence, pursuing his love of travelling, horse racing and country recreations, Walter Bankes unexpectedly inherited the Kingston Lacy and Purbeck Estates, when his elder brother, Henry, died.

As the new custodian, he commissioned a grand stable block and a large kitchen garden with glasshouses. Both ‘upgrades’ are still in use today; the stables as a visitors’ shop and dining area, the garden still producing vegetables and flowers.

Even the herd of Red Devon cattle that Walter introduced into the parkland is still thriving.

Despite being a very eligible bachelor, Walter clung to the single life until his mid-forties. However, after finally encountering his wife-to-be, Miss Henrietta Fraser, on June 14, 1897, he proposed within days and they married a month later. He was 44, she was 29.

A glamorous London wedding followed, then Walter took his new bride on a continental honeymoon, before bringing her home to Kingston Lacy.

Triumphal arches marked their route from the Minster station to the mansion and a large crowd gathered to congratulate them. At the first arch at Hillbutts, the horses were replaced by a team of sturdy local chaps, who pulled it the extra mile to the house.

Following the excitement of the homecoming and a garden party, Henrietta settled into the role of mistress of Kingston Lacy, organising the household and contributing to local society, including hosting events for locals around August and at Christmas.

In June 1898, Daphne, their first child was born, then came Viola, in February 1900. When the heir, Henry John Ralph (referred to as Ralph), arrived in July 1902, there was great rejoicing across the estate. He was christened in Wimborne Minster on September 23, 1902 with Walter’s uncle, Wynne Albert Bankes (known as Albert), recording in his diary that:

‘The Bells rang many peels [sic] and the organ played.’

The couple’s happiness was short-lived when, after just seven years of marriage, Walter died of a heart attack, leaving Henrietta a young widow.

Despite various suitors, she never remarried and instead dedicated herself to managing the estates for her young son and fulfilling a term of Walter’s will; to design a new church, St Stephen’s, for the village of Pamphill.

Uncle Wynne and his wife Florrie were supportive of Henrietta after Walter’s death and Albert referred to her as ‘Jennie’ in his diary and letters.

Henrietta’s younger daughter, Viola, described her mother as ‘a stern parent’. And, in fairness, Henrietta does appear to have favoured Ralph – ‘the young Squire’ – giving him prominence at family or public events. As was tradition, the family looks stern in the photographs, however Viola’s anecdotes of their childhoods, written in later life, reveal they had their share of fun and freedom. One of the most striking, and era-defining photos is the one of Henrietta with her darling boy Ralph and still dressed in black widow’s weeds, even at the beach.