Show Don't Tell: Issue 4 by UoG Show Don't Tell

The Team EDITOR Charl Harrison CONTRIBUTERS Phil Bowne Maz Cope Sleiman El-Hajj Niall Gallen Rod Griffiths Luke Harris Oliver Harris Tara-Marie Hurst Paul Karim Reece McCormack Dan Martin Carina Mitchell John Oxnard Charlie Patterson Ash Saunders David Smith Amy Twist PHOTOGRAPHY AND ILLUSTRATIONS Andreea Bocancea Charl Harrison SOCIAL MEDIA Andreea Bocancea Charl Harrison

ISSUE 4 MARCH

Hello!

Welcome to our biggest issue yet! With the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey film on Valentine’s Day, this issue is centred around books, films and the arguments surrounding these—does the ‘cool girl’ described in Gone Girl really exist? Is Fifty Shades full of inaccuracies? You’ll have to read on to find out... Enjoy!

Charl Charl Harrison Editor

Editor’s Picks

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Contents

5. Books vs Films

Is it really worth an argument?

p. 29

6. Interview with D.D Johnston Phil and Luke discuss chickens and petrol bombs with lecturer D.D Johnston 12. Internet vs Imagination Is it OK to condemn porn and not Fifty Shades of Grey? 14. Gone Girl: The Cool Girl Archetype Does the ‘cool girl’ really exist? 16. Flash! Fiction and Poetry Creative pieces from students 24. The Page Burner, The Page Turner Reviews of the controversial Fifty Shades 26. Reading for Writing How to read to become a better writer 27. An Interview with Phil Porter

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Lucy Tyler interviews playwright Phil Porter 29. The Christmas Truce Review A review of Phil Porter’s WW1 play 30. LGBT History Month A look at changes to attitudes in society 31. UoG Mental Health Exhibition What this month’s exhibition had to offer 32. Controversial Books Why you should read A Clockwork Orange 33. Tips & Triggers Writing tips and Trigger of the Month 34. Who Said What? Can you match the quote to the author?

READ ONLINE: ISSUU.COM/UOGSHOWDONTTELL 4

REECE MCCORMACK I hate this argument. It's kind of just – well – shit. However, I'm sitting on the bean-bag writing an article about it, so while I would like to just repeat it's shit over and over, (it's shit, it's shit, it's shit...), instead, I will try to tell you why it is shit. You have good books. You have good films. You have bad books and – guess what – you have bad films. Sometimes good books make bad films and sometimes bad books make good films and sometimes a good book makes a good film and a bad book makes a bad film. It all cancels out. Using Stephen King as our controlled variable, here is this (highly scientific) theory in practice: Book Carrie + Film Carrie (meaning the Brian De Palma version) = Good Book & Good Film Book Pet Sematary + Film Pet Sematary = Good Book & Bad Film Book 1408 + Film 1408 = Bad Book & Good Film Book Dreamcatcher + Film Dreamcatcher = Bad Book & Bad Film See, fool-proof. Yet, despite the insurmountable evidence, people are still arguing about this. They say things like, 'But they left out the part where Dale leaves his tennis racquet on the porch, and that's the most important bit!' But it isn't a film's job to take a novel page by page and spit it out onto the screen, frame by frame. Watching a film and reading a book are two different experiences, even if the film is an adaptation of your favourite novel. Take the 2013 film 'Under the Skin'. It's an adaptation of a great book by Michael Faber, that guts the plot and leaves itself with nothing but the novel's bare skeleton to work with. A woman drives around Scotland picking up men, takes them home and dips them in black goo. There's no mention of Vodsel meat or alien elites and some of the novel's primary characters simply vanish. Yet, it is an excellent film. It thrives on atmosphere and it's totally absorbing in a way I'm not sure is possible in prose and if you haven't watched it, you should. If you are thinking about what a film might change, you are setting yourself up to hate it... unless it's the Coen Brothers' adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's 'No Country For Old Men', which IS pretty much a page by page visualisation of the novel. But that's Cormac McCarthy and the Cohen Brothers and they can do whatever the hell they want. As a rule, it's safe to say there are going to be lots of changes in adapting a novel. Both mediums excel in different areas. Sex in books usually hangs off lousy metaphors (there's even the Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award). Action works better on the screen too. In books, I don't have to suffer through the terrible stop-motion spider at the end of 'It' or the wonky who-the-fuck-knows-where-they're-going camera angles in the first 'Hunger Games', and the characters never flunk their lines. Books engage the power of the imagination. Films are shorter. Yada, yada, yada, ya. This could go on. In the end, a book or a film will stand or fall on its individual merits. This argument is shit. PICTURES FROM SCIFIPORTAL.EU, HOTKEYBLOG.COM & IMPAWARDS.COM.

‘I’ve developed a drink problem.’ What happened when Phil Bowne and Luke Harris found lecturer D.D Johnston sitting in the S.U, crying into an empty pitcher...

PHIL BOWNE & LUKE HARRIS

P: What got you into writing, Mike? And when did you start? M: I've just seen that (Mike spots Luke's copy of Peace, Love and Petrol Bombs and points at the Waterstones sticker), and thought, did you get that on some sort of fuckin' discount offer? Anyway, when I was in my early twenties, I had a French girlfriend that I thought was really wonderful. We moved to France together and she left me for someone else. It was at that moment that I realised that I had to share my pain. L: In retrospect, do you think the way you got into writing was clichéd? M: Very. (Pauses, contemplates Taylor Swift track playing in background, tapping his fingers on the table). I was convinced that the grief and pain I was going through was so unique in the history of humanity that I had to share it with as wide a readership as possible. I had absolutely no idea how to write at all. I left France, I moved back and was living in Manchester. I was unemployed for a bit and then I worked at a bus station and started writing. I was staggeringly bad at it. I really was shocking. Somewhere I've still got handwritten notebooks. Normally you can move on and laugh at yourself, but I'm still really embarrassed about how bad I was. I'd like to think that's something that should help me as a teacher. (Mutters some vague analogy about Maradonna and Jose Mourinho) I can't remember the question now. I could go on? (We give him an indication that he shouldn't). Alright, I'll stop there. Phil points to the used pair of socks Mike has put on the table. P: Why did you bring socks? M: They're gloves?! Why the fuck would I bring a pair of socks? Is that likely? What sort of socks do you wear? What are your toes like? L: Webbed feet Johnston? M: Hang on, listen. My publicist told me this interview was for promoting my new book. L: In Peace, Love & Petrol Bombs, the protagonist,Wayne– M: What? L: Can you not remember your own books? M: Nicked 'em off the internet. L: Hired someone to write them? M: Yeah, unfortunately he was shite. 6

L: Anyway, given your history of political engagement and anarchism, as well as your work in a fast food restaurant, to what extent is Wayne based on yourself? M: He spends a lot of time going on about his French girlfriend as well. But it's a work of fiction. Everyone who sets out to write a first novel is in a great position, because you've got all of your life experiences to draw on. But you're in a very bad position in that you have no idea what to do with those experiences. Zadie Smith described White Teeth, her first novel, as: 'A thirteen year old ginger kid tap dancing excitedly for approval'. I know what she means in that, she's just put everything in there, which I think makes it her best book, in a way. I did the same. Pretty much everything that happened in that book is a version of what happened to me. Wayne had a French girlfriend, I had a French girlfriend. Wayne got stabbed in the arm, I got stabbed in the arm. Wayne goes to a riot in Greece, I went to a riot in Greece. There's loads of parallels. Not for it to make a particular point, just because that's what I knew about. With The Deconstruction of Professor Thrub, I was trying to be a bit more clever. It's supposedly a fictional PhD written by a PhD student, but I actually submitted it for my PhD. A lot of that's to do with the Ukrainian civil war, which I didn't fight in. But I did get beaten up after a poetry reading. P: Did you read the squash poem from Thrub? M: Yeah I did. P: Really? M: No. I read a sonnet and it didn't go down too well. They were heckling. It's the softest way anyone could ever get beaten up: on the way home from a poetry reading in Cheltenham. Gangsta! L: Has your identity changed a lot now you're a university lecturer? M: I've developed a drink problem. (He drains his Margarita and slams the glass back down on the surface.) I've always had a drink problem. It's funny, in the interview I was doing earlier I was talking about something similar. I think there's a binary identity when you're a teacher and when you're a writer. To be a teacher, you have to be open to different ideas. When I was younger I was very dogmatic and aggressive in my point of view, and now I'm probably a much mellower character. Part of that is to do with growing older, and part of that is to do with moving down to Cheltenham, with all you southern softies. (Mike lurches his head forward, as though to give Phil a Glasgow kiss.)

L: Phil thinks my Swindon accent has been 'Cheltsified'. He insists my assonances are softer by the day. Do you think your accent has changed since becoming a Cheltonian? M: When I go back home, I spend the first few days putting on a Scottish accent. And then after a day or two it comes naturally. But for the first few days I'm like, Alreet mate? I dinnae ken what yir spaffin' aboot? L: Moving on. What does the D.D in your pen name stand for? We've had a few ideas: P: A homage to your brief stint at Dundee United: Dun Dee Johnston? L: Another idea, inspired by our brief, sexually charged encounter with you in the Leisure @ Cheltenham changing rooms– M: In the wank bank, that one.

‘Martin Randall is particularly obsessed with my penis.’

The interview is interrupted by the men's university hockey team strolling into the SU with no shirts on, wearing ties and shirt cuffs. M: My publicist said he would get me on the Jonathan Ross show. This is wasn't what I had in mind when I accepted this gig. L: So back to the changing room encounter, one of the ideas we had, going on what we saw that day as we stripped down, was Donkey Dick. M: No comment. I was told this was gonna be about my forthcoming novel. It's funny you should ask that, though, because Martin Randall is particularly obsessed with my penis. He's constantly saying like, I'll show you mine, you show me yours. Y'know, real childish sort of stuff. And he's saying stuff like, There's no harm. I'm just curious. Stuff like that. And I'm like, mate, it's alright, I'm not homophobic or anything like that, but, we work together, we've got a professional relationship. It's not appropriate. Tyler Keevil is just as bad, he's always saying, Come out and visit me in Wales, we'll chop wood together. And I'm just like, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that, but why do we have to be topless when we do it? L: We've been told that in your office, next to a photo of your girlfriend, is one of Danny Dyer. Is D.D a confession of your undying love for Danny Dyer? M: I'm a massive fan of Danny. I've always been a big fan. In fact, if you read my work closely, then a lot of it is actually about Danny Dyer. Sometimes more metaphorically, sometimes explicitly. L: So it's true then that underneath the political rhetoric of Thrub, there's intertextual layers of meaning pertaining to Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men? M: I'm really glad you picked up on that, 'cos a lot of reviewers have completely missed that. I'm a big fan. I think he's culturally very important. Mike glances over to the bar and suggests one of the topless hockey players has scabies. L: So onto The Secret Baby Room, which you're obviously desperate to talk about. I thought maybe it could be a departure from your political writing, but are the babies planning some sort of socialist revolution? M: This is not the Jonathan Ross Show. L: Seriously, though, tell us about The Secret Baby Room? M: So there's this woman, right? She's moved to Manchester, she's unpacking, she looks out of her window and there, on the eighth floor of this soon to be demolished tower block there's a woman bottle feeding a baby. And she's like 'Why would anyone take a baby in a bordered up, soon to be demolished tower block?' P: So why would they? M: That's the mystery. The whole novel is about her investigating what's going on in the tower block. 8

L: You seem to admit it's quite different from your usual style of writing. Did you find it challenging? Or was it just an idea you had anyway? M: See, The Deconstruction of Professor Thrub is my complete and full artistic statement. It's a major theoretical work. It's... Some people might call it genius. It obviously won the Goldsmith's Prize. L: Didn't it just get nominated? M: It should have won the Goldsmith's Prize. When you've written a book like that, it's almost as if there's nothing else to say artistically. However, The Secret Baby Room is different. It's an intelligent entertainment; a holiday read. It's got a proper plot, none of this fancy-pants theory stuff and experimentation. I can give it to people who aren't particularly interested in writing and they'll actually want to finish reading it. I read a review of Thrub online in which someone had written 'I just couldn't finish this. I got to the two hundred and twentieth page and I just couldn't go on'. I thought bloody hell! You got to the two hundred and twentieth page? That's a very good effort. There's a long break from the interview as Mike is distracted by another crowd of topless hockey players. M: When you write this up, in the interests of fairness and accuracy, could you note that, for instance, a man has just walked in in a mini skirt and, you wouldn't call them fishnets, but they're of that ilk. It's distracting. L: On Twitter recently you said that voting is for 'dullards and dupes'. Can you expand on this? M: Lucy Parsons once said 'Never be deceived that the rich will permit you to vote away their wealth'. I'm not sure that any meaningful change has ever come about through the ballot box. Last time round everyone who cared about the state of education was encouraged to vote Lib Dem because they said they were against tuition fees. There's no other contract in the world that you can just rescind. Like, if you employed a builder and they gave you a quote and they said 'It's three thousand pounds. We're going to build you a bathroom extension' and then instead they built an adventure playground, you'd get your money back, wouldn't you? But, in politics, you vote Lib Dem because they say 'we're absolutely against tuition fees' and then they form a coalition and raise them to nine thousand pounds without any consequences. Electing a different tyrant for five years is not democracy. Democracy needs to come from the bottom up and so does meaningful social change. I encourage everyone not to vote. It's a waste of time. L: Do you distrust the things Ed Milliband says about raising the minimum wage and blacklisting British companies that avoid taxes within six months of becoming elected? If you don't, do you not think that would be a reason to vote Labour over the current regime? M: First, I don't trust him. Second, I don't care about his policies. And third, I don't think he has the power to enforce his policies. Politicians don't run society. I'm a Marxist and a structuralist. I believe that there are economic forces at work that determine the course that our society takes. I don't think you can reform capitalism. Exploitation isn't a symptom of capitalism, it's its essence. P: Tell us about your new project, Online Writing Tips. We noticed that Martin Randall isn't involved in the project. Why is that? M: The thing with Martin is that he wants to scorn everything, but then he gets slightly jealous. Once Lucy and Tyler are contributing to the website I know he'll come to me and be like Why didn't you ask me to do it? Why have you excluded me from this? L: It seems natural to have all four of you on there. M: Yeah, the thing is, Martin has taken the piss and all the rest of it. He's not supportive at all. I'm obviously trying hard with it. All he does is go on YouTube and post piss-take comments. He's writing on them like, Since when was Michael Clarke (the Australian Cricket captain) Scottish? One of them was, Oh, please tell us more anecdotes about bus stations. They are so fascinating. L: Are you writing anything at the moment? M: The Secret Baby Room is out in July. I started something in the summer but I'm too busy at the moment to be working on it. (Mike tried to name-drop onlinewritingtips.com several times over 9

the next few sentences.) But I do have another work in progress. It's a dystopian comedy. It starts on the day that society breaks down. I'm fascinated with the idea that we're only one governmental absence away from eating each other. There's no evidence for that. Is it not just as likely that the kids will just want to sort it out?

‘I’m very scared of petrol bombs.’

L: We were talking about Wayne from Peace, Love and Petrol Bombs, and how he is a reflection of your younger self. Have you ever actually thrown a petrol bomb? M: Erm, no. I can honestly say I say haven't. I've been in situations where some characters, unknown to me, may have done such behaviour. I'm very scared of petrol bombs. One of the things about tear gas is that it sticks to contact lenses and it burns your eyes. I wear contact lenses so I needed to take them out in those situations. So I didn't really know what was going on. I'd have been very afraid if I ever had thrown a petrol bomb, because I might have thrown it at the wrong people. And I'd never want to break the law. L: Are you less politically engaged nowadays? And if so, why? M: Cheltenham, to an extent. If I lived even in Bristol then I'd be involved with the local groups there. You grow used to a more comfortable life. Also, age and fragility. There's things I did when I was young that I'd be too afraid to do now. But my ideas haven't really changed since I was about 20. Have you got many more questions to go? P: 3 or 4... M: I'll get a pint. Mike walked over to the hockey player in a mini skirt and fishnets and bought him a Barcardi and coke. They appeared to exchange phone numbers.

P: You were on the books at Dundee United as a schoolboy. How would you describe yourself as a footballer? M: Fundamentally talentless. L: Do you think now that you're a writer, you've adopted an automatic self-deprecating mode? You seem very eager to take the piss out of yourself. M: Martin Randall once said to me that anything you're ashamed about, make a joke about it. It's the sort of thing you wish you knew at school. P: On the subject of Martin Randall, can you tell us any more about what is known on campus as the Randall Scandal, or, in some circles, Randallgate? M: Which one? There've been so many Randall Scandals that you're really gonna have to narrow it down . P: Your favourite? M: Which one? The chicken? L&P: Yeah. M: Randall allegedly shagged a chicken. When he was a teenager. P: Dead or alive? M: I don't know. He told me that one time he shagged a chicken. P: That wasn't what we had in mind. I was referring to the rumours going around campus that Randall has sold out to become a TV chef. M: Can you imagine? L: Randall's one-minute meals? P: Randall's fucking-a-chicken meals? L: 'And now you take the chicken out and-' 'Martin, no! We discussed this!' P: 'Stop basting the chicken with your penis!' Many thanks to Mike for taking the time out of his day to talk to us.

Internet vs Imagination Is it OK to condemn porn and not Fifty Shades of Grey? AMY TWIST

Since I have become aware of the porn industry I have heard many opinions on it. However, even though Fifty Shades of Grey has made book erotica popular, it isn't as widely criticised by the public like pornographic videos are. And now it has been made into a movie. Yes, they may have changed or gotten rid of some of the contents, but is it really okay to condemn porn and not Fifty Shades? Over the years, I have heard many women talk about how unfair the porn industry is towards females. They make comments about how unreal it is and how disgusting it is. However, Peter Weber, in his article about Feminist Porn (a movement to make females in the industry successful and to make more porn for women), says that 'an estimated one out of every three porn movies watche[d] is by a woman'. So, all the people who I have heard condemn men and call them vile, disgusting, and perverted on TV, Newspapers and in society are wrong. Yes, men are two thirds of the audience for porn but females enjoy it as well. The first hint of Feminist Porn that has become mainstream is Fifty Shades. The book managed to sell 5.3 million copies by August 2012 in the UK alone, and is it any surprise when you see almost every woman, young and old, reading the book on the trains, on holiday, and in school, as well as men reading it to find out what so interesting about it. In the Telegraph, the screenwriter for the film considers it a 'modern love story' which she thinks is the reason why it sold so many copies. If this is true, then women expect men to be something they are not. In Fifty Shades of Grey, women are doing exactly what they consider men to do within Porn films. 12

As Dr. Juli Slattery, a Christian therapist, says, ‘Fifty Shades takes the desire to be cherished forever by a man who is not a wimp and other longings that are core to femininity (as ordained by a higher power) and twists it with BDSM.' The idea of men being controlling and dominant comes from the long history of our world, where women have been considered the lower gender. Internet porn is considered to show women used for men’s pleasure and then passed on. Is this any better? Women who read of and want a nature that not all men agree with and men who want a woman who is as free and uncaring as they are? The world cannot have it both ways, but neither is very realistic in its ideals. The main idea of feminist pornography is to show people how females enjoy sexuality and how they have differences in what they like and what they wish to watch. It is to show how they are not just objects of male desire. However, even with feminist porn, the world still has problems with pornography. An experiment was made in 2010 which gave eight findings; 1) No one remains untouched by pornography because of its wide availability and consumption on the internet. 2) Pornography now is different to any that has come before. 3) Consumption of internet porn can harm women in particular. 4) Consumption of internet porn can harm children in particular. 5) Porn can harm people not immediately connected to consumers of pornography. 6) Porn can harm its consumers. 7) Pornography consumption is philosophically and morally problematic and 8) Not everyone is harmed by pornography, but it does not mean pornography shouldn't be regulated. These findings are what most people who are against pornography think. They believe that it harms the people who watch it; females, children, everyone around them, but it mainly focuses on the problems of internet porn. The main issue with pornography is the people who become addicted to it, or the people who watch it within their long term relationships/marriages. 56% of divorce cases end because one person has an obsession with pornographic websites. The reason these relationships end is because the partner feels betrayed and undesirable. What happens when books and reading are thrown into the mix as well? Will the number increase as the number of erotica book sales increase as well? People who watched pornography before Fifty Shades appeared will understand the fascination of the novel, but if all females and males watched/read porn would the world be more understanding? And would the divorce rate drop? Fifty Shades has, from what I've heard, received both praise and criticism. Dawn Hawkins, NCSE Executive Director, is completely against Fifty Shades as it normalises violence. Erika Lust, a porn director who wrote an article for the Independent, agrees with Hawkins. She wrote: 'Women: don’t waste your energy trying to please and understand the miserable, troubled, manipulative Mr Grey. Mr Grey is the kind of man we should run away from.' Lust believes that Fifty Shades is 'the depiction of a messed up relationship. It is not love.' As a director of Pornography, she has admitted that she believes ' porn is very influential in our society' and because of this she does not like Fifty Shades as it is 'conditioning our desires and fantasies, and they are influencing us. And this is more damaging to those who are young and less critical'. If a director of porn believes that erotic novels can be a problem and can influence people in society and is willing to admit that internet porn does as well, then why doesn't our society frown upon Fifty Shades instead of investing in it?

PICTURES FROM LATINTIMES.COM & BARNESANDNOBLE.COM

GONE GIRL AND THE ‘COOL GIRL’ ARCHETYPE CHARLIE PATTERSON You don’t have to look far to find a review of Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl. Marilyn Stasio’s New York Times review; ‘Ice-pick-sharp. Spectacularly sneaky. Impressively cagey,’ ably sums up Flynn’s story of a marriage gone wrong to the furthest extremes. Incorporating themes of adultery, deceit and the duplicity of the media, Gone Girl is fast-paced, well plotted and pleasingly deceptive, as well as being far more skilfully written than your average thriller. When Amy Dunne, the charming and attractive daughter of respected parents disappears without trace, the evidence points towards murder and all eyes turn to her husband, Nick, a man with more than one secret to hide. However, it soon becomes clear that Amy herself might not be quite as trustworthy as she appears. Gone Girl is well worth a read. However, what really interested me was the book’s most discussed and quoted passage; Amy Dunne’s tirade against the archetype of the ‘Cool Girl:’ “Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.” I think Gillian Flynn raises some fascinating issues in her examination of the ‘Cool Girl’ archetype. I have some reservations about the notion that the cool girl is what all men want, or even that men truly believe that the archetypal cool girl really exists, however, I think that Flynn is right on the money in her depiction of the pressures and expectations placed upon young women by society and the media. First of all, can we agree that there is something perverse in the way that our society views heterosexual relationships? For a man to be ‘cool,’ he must be manly. He must exhibit selfconfidence and self-security. He must never compromise or doubt his own character. For a woman to be ‘cool,’ she must compromise herself entirely. She is encouraged to change her appearance and personality to become more appealing to men. This is a generalisation of course, but I think this fetishisation of the male psyche is best summed up by an old Mitchell and Webb Sketch. The skit displays two mock-commercials, one for women and one for men. As soon as the woman appears, she is bombarded by abuse by the narrator. She is told that she is ‘hairy and overweight,’ and that she does not appeal to men. A huge pile of sanitary and cleaning products appears, and she is told, ‘for God’s sake, sort yourself out.’ A second later, a man appears, and the narrator simply tells him, ‘shave and get drunk, because you’re already brilliant.’ 14

To get an idea of the power of the ‘cool girl’ archetype, there is a fascinating article on Buzzfeed that is worth a read; ‘Jennifer Lawrence and the History of Cool Girls,’ by Anne Helen Peterson. In it, Peterson examines the history of the Cool Girl phenomenon, from the tomboyish antics of Clara Bow in the 1920s to the laid back and relatable Carole Lombard. From the ‘almost masculine’ sexuality of Jane Fonda to the girl-next-door appeal of Jennifer Lawrence. Peterson speculates that the popularity of these actresses stems in part from their rejection of femininity and their appeal to a male sense of fun. As Peterson puts it, they appear to be ‘almost masculine, but never anything too masculine, or assertive, or independent.’ To put it bluntly, the Cool Girl is society’s perception of the ultimate heterosexual male fantasy; a man in a woman’s body, a woman who will compromise everything for a man and expect no compromise in return. To clarify, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a tomboy, or enjoying activities that are ‘traditionally associated’ with the opposing gender. We all exist somewhere on that great, confusing, two-dimensional scale between the poles of ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine.’ It is perfectly possible to possess an X chromosome and still enjoy eating a Yorkie bar, drinking Fosters or even Michael Bay films (as much as anyone can enjoy Michael Bay films.) The problem emerges when we are pressured into changing our appearance or personality in order to be seen as socially acceptable. When the attributes of one gender are revered and the attributes of another are distained, there is a fundamental injustice in our perception of both men and women. The real damage of the Cool Girl archetype lies in the fact that, as Flynn states, the Cool Girl does not and cannot truly exist.

PICTURES FROM GILLIAN-FLYNN.COM & FANPOP.COM

FLASH!

Fiction & Poetry

FIFTY SHADES OF FUR ROD GRIFFITHS It is a truth universally acknowledged that man's best friend is a dog. How this is established is more difficult to ascertain. There is an anecdotal database. Hollywood gave us Rin Tin Tin and Lassie, but what lies under these myths? Why does an animal that is well suited to independent living, has a fur coat, teeth that can rip flesh and a proven ability to hunt in packs, submit to unpaid servitude? The tale is riven with ritual and fetish. Why are no questions asked about the sadomasochistic practices involved in the relationship? Collaring is almost universal and although collars come in many shapes and sizes, leather and metal studs are common, and so are chains, often arranged so that the object of so-called love may be strangled if they do not respond to commands. Obedience and submission are the backbone of the relationship. With the collar comes a lead. Simplistic explanations suggesting a public safety aspect should fool no one. I have seen leads jingled and waved at dogs with a clear implication that they have a ceremonial role in maintenance of obedience and submission. Kennels and other forms of imprisonment are almost universal, again often surrounded by ritual. Confinement is often at certain times of day, or in response to particular activities and often associated with well-established rewards and punishments. A special language is common, individual words having codified meanings only operational within the relationship. Sometimes words are used that are not even recognisable in any human language. We see code and ritual at every turn. Further depths will be revealed when Fifty Shades of Fur is published.

PASSING THOUGHTS JOHN OXNARD I nod in the direction of the Marlboro Ice Blast’s behind the counter. ‘Wait, how much are the kingsize?’ ‘£8.99, for twenty.’ I nod again, and hand over a tenner, sliding a packet of gum across the counter too. I take a penny change and walk to the door, pulling a cigarette from the packet. A kid is standing outside as I take a drag, watching me while holding onto a dog leash, with a small Jack Russell scurrying around his feet. ‘Don’t smoke, kid.’ With my spare hand I pull out the packet of gum and hold it out, fiddling with the wrapper to open it single-handedly. The kid looks about, side to side like he’s about to cross the road, then takes a stick from me. His mother strides out with two carrier bags and glares at me, studying her son’s hands. I smile at her and nod at the kid, and as they climb into her little ford with odd alloys, I set off down the street. She’s still watching me as I turn and look back, and cross the road before she can pull out onto the road. I cut down a side alley into the Arden estates. The path is sprouting weeds, and the concrete looks like it is being churned by the earth, splitting and crumbling like shortbread. It gets darker down this alley, because of the foliage creating a little roof, which is great when the weather is shit – like rain or hail or even on a proper hot day. At the other end, a silhouette appears and starts walking towards me, a long grey hood covering its face and I’m taking a deeper drag of the cigarette as we close the distance, from fifty meters to forty and then down and down until at about fifteen he pulls out a revolver. I look over my shoulder and think about running but from here he can’t miss me if he wanted to, so I throw the cigarette aside and hold my hands up. His hands are shaking as he points some snub-nosed piece at me. Then he says, ‘I don’t know what to do with this.’ He holds it out to me, backwards. ‘Do you want it? I don’t know. I just found it back on the estate like, on Clavedon road. I don’t want a kid to find it or nothin’.’ ‘Just calm down, yeah?’ I lower my hands slowly, like I’m approaching a scared dog. ‘It’s cool. I’ll take it, get rid of it like.’ ‘Thanks. Thanks.’ He’s holding it out still, waving it at me like it’s hurting him to hold it. I pull my sleeve around my hand and take it off him. ‘You need a smoke?’ ‘You’re alright,’ he says, and walks briskly past me. I light another cigarette. I told myself I was going to quit smoking.

MUSIC IS ANOTHER DRUG MAZ COPE His guitar is safe heroin. He paints himself playing in front of a crowd. He injects colours, Crimson, tangerine and ochre. His passion bleeds out on the canvas. Paint strokes thick as a G-string. The crowd waves their arms, grabbing his bottom, black, skinny jeans. Pastel horizon, emerald and aurora. Paint strokes like watercolours, flat, and soaked through the canvas. The crowdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hearts slow as he plays. Never taking their eyes off him. He hears nothing but his guitar. He sees nothing but his canvas. This track mark is invisible.

THROUGH MY EYES ASH SAUNDERS Through the mirror and into my mind, see yourself stroll across the field, the repetition that can't be avoided, the faults that cannot be made. See yourself stroll across the field, an airbrushed copy of a photograph, the faults that cannot be made, followed by ever-lasting candlelight. An airbrushed copy of a photograph, the repetition that cannot be avoided, followed by ever-lasting candlelight, through the mirror and into my mind. 18

THE SUNFLOWER CHARLIE PATTERSON Down in its bed of dragon eyes, the sunflower lies, tasting the reef. It feels the cucumber, sluicing through the eddies long before the periscope eye spies the black shape, staining the coral, the rippling swell of the plastic-sack sky Reflected in its bin-liner belly.

A twist of limbs and the system is engaged, cold water pumping through arteries. A mechanical flower, it unfolds itself, clamping the shoal with tubular feet. Lifted on hydraulic spouts, it swabs the scree, pushed along, like the head of a mop, blowing the brittlestars up in its wake.

The cucumber, shading under a pink shelf, tastes the sunflowerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s approach in the churn and twists in the swell, the belly disgorging. A plume of white tassels fly at the jaws, latching onto limbs, and pulling them closer. The teeth descend, the sunflower closing. The reef goes black for a moment, and then

A spout of red, like dust from a sack, bursts free, dissolving in the expanse. The stain is sucked clean, filtered into the craw. A shred of skin, torn free, begins the climb spiralling with the last white strands, up to the bright kingdom above, leaving a gleaming surface of sand.

MALAISE SLEIMAN EL-HAJJ I am still clutching the transistor radio when Baba barges in asking for his supper. The news of the burning camp in Lebanon hasn’t reached him. 'They’ve burned Tina’s camp, Baba,' I say, almost screaming. The refugee camp in the northern province of Akkar, where Tina and her siblings are staying, has been burned to the ground by villagers. My father asks why. 'I don’t know why,' I say. 'Something to do with a Lebanese kid. They think a Syrian did sex to him, and they’re angry now. Do you think Tina is okay? You think she burned too?' I start crying. 'Now, now,' Baba grunts, reaching out his arm to hold me but stopping mid-air. 'Shall we have some food and talk it over quietly? What have you cooked for us today?' If I had things my way, I would have gone and lived with Tina, or Mama even, although she left us, but Baba says I can’t because I’m still thirteen. He sits sprawled on the divan, attacking his meal, reaching out for more and more potato stew, greedily, hungrily, his eyes flitting between his steamy bowl to the wicker rug whip hanging on a hook by the grandfather clock. I crouch in a corner, my ears tethered to the radio, knowing well how the evening will end. I am still terrified for Tina though, and will not let him spank me before he goes to bed. Not tonight.

CATFISH TARA-MARIE HURST Well that's always been me. Overweight, overlooked and undermined by double d's on sticks. My intelligence and quirky looks could not compare with the try-hard Victoria Secret wannabes that absorbed every manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attention within a five-mile radius. I was an outsider looking in, I observed from afar, hoping that there was a guy who was doing the same and he would spot me. It was about two years ago when I saw Oliver Hoppell in the school hall. He was new, tall with brown floppy hair and was drop dead gorgeous. I used to imagine kissing him but making out with my palm just wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the same. I'd sit by the trees on the football field watching him at break. He always played up front, his shorts flapping in the breeze showing off his long, firm and toned legs. He never noticed me. Not even when he bumped into me in the lunch room once. But I noticed him. I knew he wore Marks and Spencer underwear, size small. I knew he wore Paul Smith's 'Extreme' aftershave. I knew he wore size eleven shoes, his favourite colour is red, he supports Arsenal. I knew everything there was to know about Oliver Hoppell but he hung out with the pretty, popular double d's, who'd spend their days chatting to him about 90210 or some other crap television show. I could see the boredom in his eyes. I wanted to explore his soul. Find out what goes on in that gorgeous brain of his. What makes him tick. I would send him things from afar, like tickets to the cinema to see the film he wanted. His favourite chocolate bar. The occasional love note. But one day I sent him a note, asking him to meet me in the quad after school. When I showed myself, he laughed in my face. He laughed and left. I cried for a week and three days. Then I decided then to break Oliver Hoppell's heart. Alice Forsyth and her Facebook profile were created on 27th February 2013. Tall, skinny, beautiful Alice.

THE FUTURE OLIVER MARK EDWARD HARRIS EDITED BY PHIL BOWNE AND LUKE HARRIS DRINK, SHAG WAAA, WAAA, WAAA Is this the sound of our future? We look to the skies with open eyes and ask ourselves why? She moved to Guernsey. Sax, Tax, Pax, Tracks... Lax? Ssshhhhhh. Is this the sound of our future? With bants as big as yer nan's pants PB's at his personal best again -Massive car screeching noisePump the brakes. Clutch in neutral. Natural disaster. Tsu - na - mi? No You

CPU ALPHA PAUL KARIM CPU ALPHA GREAT PERFORMANCE WITHOUT GREAT COST OVERCLOCKED TO 2322 MGHZ FOR MAXIMUM PERFORMANCE THE FUTURE IS NOW THANKS TO KENT ELECTRICS AVAILABLE IN STORES NATIONWIDE That advertisement was a lie but people won't realise. The 'future' actually began two weeks ago when I installed the processor, but I delayed the release until today. The back to school rush and fickle parents who overindulge their spoilt children presented an opportunity too profitable to pass up. Why bother helping the world if you can't make money in the process? That's just common knowledge. I was always the smartest one in the room. Convincing people that they were my equals was easy due to their ignorance. That's why it's my name on the advert. Anyone who doesn't understand simply isn't worth my time. So what if I had to tell a few lies in the boardroom to gain investors? All I had to do was undercut the competition and make up some technical jargon to explain why people were suddenly paying twice as much. I would have been rich. Or rather I could have if J. Corlon wasn't trying to steal my prototype. I never did learn her first name because she was a dull individual. That's just one reason she left my company. I didn't have the patience to listen to her ramblings, and I didn't have the energy to fire her. I avoided her because of that. The only problem was she was a damn good thief. She almost stole the prototype I had the guys in research and development working on. Thankfully, she messed that up. If she did have all these grand ideas about saving the world she wouldn't have been stuck working for me. I tried to put her failure out of my mind by searching for articles congratulating my impending success online. There was no point in watching televised news. They didn't hire anyone smart enough to understand the importance of CPU ALPHA. I checked my emails expecting requests from journalists seeking an interview with me. I didn't want their journalistic integrity, just their money. Only one email wasn't instantly deleted and that was J. Corlon's. Expecting her to beg for her old job back, I chuckled to myself. She made some vague threats about taking Kent Electrics from me and that she 'would run me out of London'. I deleted the email, poured myself some whiskey, then relaxed. Then I got a phone call and realised my life was over. It was from the research department. Turns out she hadn't stolen the prototype. She got the blueprints from the company's servers instead. I have no idea how she accessed them, but it doesn't matter now. CPU Beta was supposed to come out next year, but instead the blueprints were leaked. I was supposed to monopolise the CPU market. Now loads of cheaper competitors could enter the market.

The Page Burner FIFTY SHADES OF GREY: AN EROTIC MASTERPIECE OR FIFTY SHADES OF INACCURACY? BURNER: DAVID SMITH

TURNER: TARA-MARIE HURST

The big screen version of Fifty Shades of Grey debuted at cinemas on Valentine's Day and a rather unnerving number of people flocked to see it. I suppose I could go on a rant about how terrible this is, bemoan the state of people’s film and book tastes... but my concerns have little to do with that. I have to say I haven’t watched the movie version, but I have read the book. Well, I’ve tried to read the book. I mean, I got most of the way through the book before realising oh my god, this isn’t an inspiring story of Anastasia’s escape from an abusive relationship. This is genuinely how E.L. James thinks BDSM relationships work, sweet baby Jesus. In case you don’t know, in this book the title character, Christian Grey, preys upon a young and impressionable girl called Anastasia Steele (I know, it sounds like a side character from Zoolander), who works for him. Naturally, he’s an aloof and powerful multi-millionaire, while she is a meek and subservient ex-student, a good two decades younger. Also he is DEFINITELY NOT GAY, proved by how he flies into a rage and hides himself away when his sexuality is momentarily questioned. Yep. Definitely not gay. Apparently homosexuality is some kind of witches’ curse, where mentioning the name can... invoke it, or something. In case you’re thinking otherwise, the whole “preying on Anastasia” thing is rather literal. He stalks her, rapes her, isolates her from her friends, and breaks into her room and rapes her again when she breaks contact with him. I’ve had fans try to convince me that a scene where she is quite plainly telling him she really, really doesn’t want to have him beat her during sex and begins to scream partway through definitely isn’t rape because she signed the contract, and oh Mr Grey really truly loves her, you know. It all sounds very much like the stereotypical defence of the beaten spouse; some poor man or woman gets asked by their friends why their husband/wife constantly gives them black eyes, and the response is something along the lines of how sweet they really are and how they really love them, honestly, if only you could see their gentle side. Oh, and another thing; he has her sign a fucking contract. A sex contract. A contract that states she can’t talk about what they do, and that she has to go along with whatever cockeyed ideas he comes up with in the bedroom. Never mind that part of the contract is that she can, at no point, look directly at him or touch him, which reads more like “damagingly repressed homosexuality 101” than anything kinky. Now, just to be clear; BDSM is fine. It’s a perfectly healthy bit of bedroom fun for millions of people. What happens in Fifty Shades however bears absolutely no relation to the reality. E.L. James failed at the first stumbling block of any writing project: research. It’s not even particularly difficult – in preparation for this article I just googled it, got into contact with some people who were “living the lifestyle,” looked up some basic guidelines, asked around, talked, read, read, read. None of which she did. Maybe she can be forgiven, perhaps she lacked a computer for the necessary research. After all, apparently Anastasia, a woman who was recently a student, has never used a computer. In half an hour I had learned enough to confirm my suspicions that most of what went on in the book was bullshit when compared with how BDSM actually goes. For reference, there are three basic rules that I saw everywhere I looked; “safe, sane, and consensual.” All interactions must be discussed beforehand. No one forces anyone to do anything. Safety comes first. It all has to be sane – you don’t break into your partner’s room, you don’t buy the company they work for so you can control them, you don’t force them to sign a contract saying you can do whatever the hell you like. At the end of the day, it’s just fun. Fantasy. Not Christian Grey going and isolating Ana from her friends and family, tapping her phone, limiting her communication, raping her, abusing her, beating her even when it’s been made quite clear that she doesn’t want to, and that the majority of the encounters in the book are completely non-consensual. 24

“But it’s just fantasy!” Yes, just fantasy. After all, there is worse pornographic fiction available on the seedier parts of the net. But here’s the problem; Fifty Shades is immensely popular. It’s made E.L. James a multimillionaire. This year’s Valentine’s Day may as well have been renamed Grey Day. Every other store seems to be having a Fifty Shades sale. B&Q released a memo to its stores alerting them to an increased stock in rope and duct tape in anticipation of increased sales after the film’s release. Speaking of, another inaccuracy; in the book, Grey buys a whole buttload of rope and so on from a hardware store, which he later uses on the simpering Ana. The thing is, if you were to use rough construction rope from hardware stores – instead of finer silk, cotton or high-thread hemp – you would utterly shred the skin wherever it was used within an hour. Mmmm. Friction lacerations and subsequent infection from fibres in the wounds sure are sexy. I discovered this after googling “what rope should be used in bondage” and clicking the first couple of links. Not difficult. So anyway, it’s popular. It speaks from a position of perceived authority to the uninitiated, what with its sleek blue-grey book covers, the international attention, the movie deals – and so people will inevitably attempt to imitate it. Hence the B&Q memo. But so much of what the book suggests as normal BDSM practice is so dangerous. It glorifies abusive relationships, insists that as long as it’s done under the guise of BDSM then it’s all fine, that all the rape and beatings and isolation, the degradation of personal self-worth and paranoia are all fine, just so long as the one that’s doing it to the victim gets called “master” every so often. At no point does Christian provide Ana with a safeword. He doesn’t talk to her, as an equal, about anything she wants to try. He doesn’t provide any kind of aftercare, in order to comfort the fragile emotional state submissives are left in afterwards. He doesn’t care for her emotional of physical wellbeing, which is the first basic responsibility of a dominant in a BDSM relationship. Planning? Communication? Safety precautions? Don’t need them, so long as you’re rich and have a private helicopter you can apparently do whatever the hell you want. At the absolute best, people will try out some things in the book and get uncomfortable, maybe lightly injured with friction burns or pulled muscles, before actually looking up how to do that kind of thing and getting their act together. I already know a couple that had a major miscommunication due to the lack of a safeword, resulting in a lot of pain in some rather sensitive areas. At worst, this book is saying “if he’s rich and handsome and inflicts severe emotional and physical abuse on you, it means he really truly loves you.” Frankly, it’s leaving people who are looking for this kind of excitement in their lives open and defenceless for the true predators out there - predators who would love to have the easy way in of just saying “don’t worry, it’s just like in Fifty Shades. This is all perfectly normal.” You’re a disappointment to the BDSM world, E.L. James, and I rather feel like you’re endangering people who don’t know any better.

The Page Turner While others may debate that they have to chain themselves down to read it, my question to you is, why wouldn’t you love the notorious Fifty Shades of Grey? Firstly, the whole book revolves around a gorgeous, successful, young and extremely desirable billionaire. What’s not to like there? We follow Ana’s journey in meeting the notorious Mr Grey and the adventure that follows, most of which, is in the infamous Red Room or Playroom. E.L James teases us with tales of his sexual endeavours, which aren’t to everybody’s taste, but the imagery of Christian Grey in those unbuttoned, ripped and low rise jeans makes the few paragraphs worth it. Being a worldwide phenomenon, an online and literary sensation of the past few years, why wouldn’t you read it? It has lust, love and action in the form of dangerous characters, fast cars and fist fights. The world of Mr Grey appeals to everyone on some level, men want to be him, women want to be with him. I found myself tearing through the book (including the rest of the tantalising trilogy), desperate to follow Ana and Christian’s relationship that seems to surpass all boundaries and limits (except those in his Playroom). If you’re looking for a book that really has it all, you’ll find it in Fifty Shades. 25

Reading for Writing CARINA MITCHELL For the most part we read books for our own enjoyment, to entertain us and allow ourselves to be lead into another reality, either that of someone elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life or an entirely different world altogether. When we read for writing though, we have to look at what it is we are studying in another way, taking a more analytical approach. Firstly, it is good to read something through as you would normally to get an idea of how the author is trying to reach their audience. Think about how it made you feel, were you left with any questions? Make a note of the feelings you had about any characters, locations and the story. Next, read through it again, although this time much slower. Look at the sentence structure; are they long flowing sentences or short and punchy? What nouns have been used in descriptions? What if any poetic rhythm has been used? Is there a hidden meaning or a symbol? Is it written in first or third person? Remember to make notes of anything you feel stands out.

Now, compare these notes with your previous ones. Look at how the sentences made you feel at certain points and think about why that might be. Did the author manage to convey themselves well or were there parts when the words became too distracting? Notes like these are very useful when it comes to writing your RCU and helping you show your understanding of another writerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work. Reading like this can also help you when workshopping with your colleagues as you are looking more closely at their writing and not just seeing if it sounds good or not. Something important to remember is that you read as great a mix of writing as possible, so poems from several different authors and eras, plays both historical and modern and stories written by both men and women, past and present. Always keep in mind that you read for a degree and that showing evidence of this will help to garner you those extra marks. 26

An Interview with Phil Porter The writer of WW1 play The Christmas Truce stopped by for a chat with Lucy Tyler and some dramatic writing students before they watched the production... What gave you the idea to write the Christmas Truce? It wasn’t actually my idea. The theatre (RSC) wanted to do something fitting with the centenary as all the other art-forms seem to be doing it. Erica (Whyman – Deputy Artistic Director) and Greg (Doran – Artistic Director) got interested in the idea of the Christmas Truce, especially the football game. There were other ties to this idea, such as men from Gloucestershire fighting then and of course the importance of Bruce Bairnsfather, who is one of the main characters in the play, living in Stratford, it seemed apt. Soon enough they contacted me and asked me to write it.

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What did you know about the Christmas Truce? And what was your process in writing it? It’s hard to remember. Before the play history wasn’t a big thing for me, I’d never thought much about it. After I said yes to writing the play I got sent a lot of stuff, mainly to do with Bruce Bairnsfather and they also sent me ‘Meet Me at Dawn Unarmed’ which are diaries and accounts from the war, including the Christmas Truce. One of the authors’ grandson’s worked at this very theatre. Those were my main texts and then I broadened my research; I went to Flanders, walked in trenches. I didn’t learn facts but going there allowed me to try and immerse myself in the idea. There was a day last year where families with memories about the war came to see me. They brought artifacts and told me stories about their family’s involvement. I saw a lot of shell cases! I did lots of interviews and met lots of interesting people – including one who was strangely obsessed with Bairnsfather. Most of the research process was reading and it was incredibly daunting as I didn’t have a lot of time. So much had already been written and more was being produced everyday about the war and the Christmas of 1914. Writing about something of such historical importance, especially the Christmas truce, what was important, in your opinion, to get across in the play? I didn’t have to think about that too much because of the topic. It was very hard to write a nonpacifistic play obviously this far in the future. I didn’t have to think about meaning too much, politically it is a hot topic; so many people disagree with the idea of sending men to their deaths. For me, drama is more interesting if the characters understand what they’re morally doing. I found the meaning through writing it, and that was mainly the different kinds of courage as well as cultural misunderstandings and differences. I found it interesting the way we just try and find common ground with people who are different to us. I felt it was important to try and weave in details and accounts I read. I tried to incorporate these into some of the characters; I felt I was paying tribute to them by doing so. What was the playwriting process? It was unusual, it was very collaborative. The benefit of working on a big project is that there’s lots of people who are good at their job to hand. I didn’t start writing until January 2013 and then I just read a lot. I had a workshop in April, so I roughly had three months to write an entire first draft – Amazingly, I managed to do it. There were eight actors for the week in April as well as the director, designer, literary manager (who also acted as the dramaturg) and the composer. We just tried everything out. At that point I hadn’t finished the last three scenes, however by the end of the week we had almost staged it. I then had two more months to do my next draft. In June, many of the actors were tied into other projects so we couldn’t work on it in one big chunk, but this meant that I had time to go back over it with the composer and director. The best part about working on something of this scale meant there was lots of support available. 27

Did you find it difficult writing for a thrust stage? It made things easier and other things harder, for example, there was a huge acting space which benefitted the cricket and football matches in the play. The thrust stage meant we could do things that usually we couldn’t. However, the thrust stage makes the audience conscious of each other, there’s no sense of divide. When writing it I had to acknowledge the audience, if the actors don’t acknowledge the audience, explicitly or not, it’s weird. I had to write scenes that naturally turn outwards to the audience. Other things like blocking, entrances and exits were an issue as well. The timing affected my writing, such as considering the time it takes to make an entrance or exit on that particular stage. It’s a fascinating but challenging space. It’s brilliant when there’s lots of people on stage too. I always find with plays that they look great in rehearsals but when the lighting and so on are put in, it looks worse. I didn’t think the play was big enough for the stage. We got there in the end though. ‘The Christmas Truce’ is a family play. You’ve written for young audiences before, but how did the ‘family’ aspect affect this play? It didn’t make much difference really, there were things to take into account such as the language, you won’t hear the typical soldier language, and you won’t see much of the violence. The nature of staging doesn’t lend itself to it anyway but we didn’t need it, instead it’s implied and stylised. The story is about innocence and so the play naturally comes out with an innocent tone that lends itself to the family-friendly genre. In the first half, I try to help a younger audience understand what the play’s getting at, for example, how people rely on one another. When I write for a younger audience I try to make sure that each scene has something to cling on, such as a certain physicality, and try to make sure that there aren’t too many scenes in a row containing the same thing, like men arguing or fighting. The size of the stage influenced the writing, did your writing influence the staging? It was collaborative either way. I had to consider it if not it'd be unfair to throw it to production. I spoke to Erica early on about it; we talked about how the set is aesthetic and what would work and what wouldn’t. I doubt anyone would take this play and do it again, but if they did, it’d be interesting to see what they kept. I’d find it interesting because we worked so much on it. I found that there was so much you couldn’t foresee from sitting at your desk trying to write it, you had to see it and work with the stage. Were you involved in casting at all? Because all but two of the actors are involved in plays here at the RSC anyway, I was only involved in casting the other two actors and selecting the others from the RSC pool. The hardest character to cast was Bruce Bairnsfather because he had to be believable, also I had the responsibility to cast someone well because Bairnsfather actually existed. In his cartoons, he created three characters who I’ve written into the play. I had to try and work around the actors we had but it was nice to have some perimeters. One of the hardest things was writing parts for women. Logically, writing about the Christmas Truce, there weren’t many women in the trenches. I managed to find evidence that there was a small group of nurses nearer to the front than I originally thought so that helped. Considering you've written a versatile list of plays, what's your favourite? At the moment I’m writing about Lance Armstrong and the drugs scandal. Early in my career, without asking for it, I was involved with adaptations. The hardest thing for me was to be faced with the same challenge from several theatres at one time, especially if they all want contemporary plays from my imagination. I like having different projects on the go, for me, it’s about trying to not do the same project over and over again. What advice would you give? Just write a really good play! I think it really is just that. People are now so impatient, they want recognition immediately. Just think hard about what you think would make a good evening of theatre. Show your trusted friends. Don’t go mad over it and just try to be measured. Focus on what you think makes a good play, don’t concentrate on what others are doing. 28

The Christmas Truce MAZ COPE, CHARL HARRISON, DAN MARTIN & ASH SAUNDERS On 28th January, a group of dramatic writing students headed to Stratford to watch The Christmas Truce, a play about the famous truce World War One soldiers undertook on Christmas Eve 1914. It was a fantastic evening out, beginning with an interview with the writer of the play, Phil Porter (see p. 27.) As we took our seats, actors were already on stage playing cricket, interacting with children in the audience and, in our opinion, this set the tone for the whole play. We were impressed by how family-friendly the production was, adding humour that suited both children and adults. The first half of the production began with the soldiers going to war, providing exposition for children who may be less knowledgeable about the subject. This was cleverly done, not boring, but shown well through various strong characters such as Liggins, who was anxious, and Old Bill, a man who had fought many wars and offered at times humourous advice to Liggins. Rather than having soldiers just standing and telling us about their feelings, sound effects were used to portray the weapons they were speaking of. As well as the soldiers’ experience of the war, scenes also switched to the nurses who had to care for injured soldiers, and in a moving scene involving Liggins, had to watch them die. Interestingly, the play focused on the matron’s attitude at that time, scolding staff nurses for decorating the hospital with Christmas decorations on Christmas Eve. This was another positive aspect of the play; not only did it educate us about the truce itself, but of other rebellions occurring during the First World War. The second half concerned the truce and the backlash against it where Bruce Bairnsfather, the famous illustrator at that time, had to tell the soldiers that the truce had to end based on orders from above. This again showed, along with Nurse Phoebe’s actions against Matron, that authority was questioned during the war. The play was also extremely clever in its staging. A nod to the cricket and football in the play was when one soldier kept a note of the days at war, good things that had happened (such as it not raining) and deaths in the form of wickets (good things), runs (deaths) and overs (days), a note which the audience kept up with through a scoreboard above the stage. Another clever aspect of the production were the props used, which only consisted of step ladders and boxes, reused countless times to portray a train, hospital beds and trenches. The visual effects were also fantastic, with smoke machines adding to the intense wartime atmosphere when the soldiers were attacking one another. The production worked well within the space they had, adding a curtain to represent when they were switching to the nurses’ experiences of the war and covering up the fantastic background set of trees to represent the German side of the trenches. The stage was interesting to see, using a platform in the middle which worked well for the cricket scenes and having the actors enter both from the sides and the front of the stage. Overall, this was not just an educating experience, but an entertaining one, too. By exchanging gifts at the truce, decorating the hospital with Christmas decorations and including a hilarious talent show, not only did the play emphasise its family-friendly qualities, but brought life to what could have been a play very much focused on death and destruction. 29

LGBT History Month MAZ COPE This month we’re celebrating sexuality diversity and gender affirmation. LGBT is an anagram for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. The word Gay originally meant happy. By the 16th century, it meant that someone is said to be living a ‘loose’ life. The definition ‘a homosexual man’ came out in 1933 in a play called Young and Evil. Lesbian derives from the Greek island Lesbos where the poet Sappho lived in 600B.C. To emphasise our current destination of social acceptance and gay marriage, I would need to express the uphill battle of struggles and overcoming obstacles. If I were to write all the LGBT events to show how far we have come, it will bore you. If I were to show the timeline, many would skim over random events. Here’s a few of the pre-nineteenth century events, which highlights this long journey. The first gay couple in recorded history was two royal manicurists, from ancient Egypt, 2400 B.C. They were found buried in a shared tomb along with hieroglyphics that read, “Joined in life and joined in death.” 1290: The first mention in the English common law of a punishment for homosexuality. In 1885, the Labouchere amendment was passed. This was the first anti-homosexual act, more commonly known as the Blackmailer’s act. Twelve years later, Havelock Ellis and John Addington Symonds published the first English translated version of Sexual Inversion. They stated in this book to “treat homosexuality as neither a disease nor a crime, maintaining that it was inborn and unchangeable.” The twentieth century equally held as much challenges. In 1956, the Sexual Offences Act became law, which caused much police brutality against homosexuals. In the early hours of June 28th 1969 in New York, police raided a gay bar called the Stonewall Inn. This had happened thousands of times before. It started off reasonably calm then something unexpected happened. The men took a stand, which turned into one of the most notorious riots in history, called the Stonewall Riots. Some argue that it was a drag queen that stood in the doorway, in the middle of officers and posed defiantly who rallied the crowd.

Others argue it was a butch woman in men’s clothing who resisted arrest. One thing is certain; this riot was the catalyst for LGBT rights. On June 28th 1970, New York held the first Pride event. London held the first UK Pride event on July 1st 1972. In 1987, a Staffordshire councillor called for 90 percent of lesbians and gays to be gassed to prevent the spread of AIDS. Twelve members of the Lesbian and Gay youth movement sat in the councillor's house as a protest. Police violently broke this sit-in and they were all arrested and remanded for ten days. This case was later taken to court and they were all released for wrongful imprisonment. There were many events which were important but those are just a few. The twenty-first century was set to be a brighter future for LGBT rights. In 2006, the government passed the Equalities Act. This act makes sure that employers, police and other service providers cannot discriminate against homosexuals, disabled people and people of a racial background. From there, same-sex in fertilisation, civil partnership and eventually gay marriage has come from this. Although England and many other countries allow gay marriage, many of them still hang gay people. Hopefully by reading this article, it will liberate and make everyone to feel proud for who they are. This journey has taken many centuries to get us to this destination. If it weren’t for some of these events mentioned, I would not be legally allowed to write this article. If it wasn't for protests, the government might not have passed the law on same-sex marriage. 30

UoG Mental Health Exhibition TARA-MARIE HURST On Wednesday 18th February, me and Charl Harrison visited the Mental Health Exhibition being held in the Chapel. The work on display was invigorating, contemporary and unique and was all in support of Mental Health Awareness. Every year, there is a week dedicated to raising awareness and support for Mental Health, this year it is being held from 11th â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 17th May. The work varied from artwork to poetry, each taking a different point of view to Mental Health. We selected a few favourites of our own to share with you. Mine was the artwork produced by Samantha Hughes. Her incredible art allowed her to feel calm and at ease, and most importantly, it made her happy. The exhibition was an eye opener, showing just how much creativity can help those affected by mental health.

Controversial Books CHARLIE PATTERSON

A Clockwork Orange

‘Me, me, me. How about me? Where do I come into all this? Am I like just some animal or dog?’ And that started them off govoreeting real loud and throwing slovos at me. So I creeched louder still, creeching: ‘Am I just to be like a clockwork orange?’ A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess’ 1962 dystopian novella, has been overshadowed in recent years by the controversy and discussion surrounding its 1971 film adaptation by Stanley Kubrick. However, the book still hits home with modern readers through its themes of youth violence and the loss of free will in a corrupt and dystopian society, and through the use of Nadsat, the book’s own colloquial dialect, spoken by the vicious yet enigmatic anti-hero, Alex. Through 15 year old Alex’s perspective, we are introduced to the landscape of A Clockwork Orange, one of desperation, violence and urban decay where gangs of youth roam the streets, committing savage acts against the elderly and infirm. We follow Alex and his ‘droogs’ (friends,) as they ‘tolchock,’ thieve and rape their way through a corrupt, near-future London until, finally imprisoned for the murder of an old woman, Alex is selected for government experimentation. Subjected to psychological torture, he is programmed to experience excruciating pain when contemplating violence or listening to his beloved Beethoven. Released back into society, the novel follows Alex’s life as a ‘clockwork orange,’ a construction with all the appearances of vitality and life, but which is programmed and controlled by unseen machinery. Published just three years after the Obscene Publications Act, the novella generated widespread controversy following its release and was widely censored, particularly in America. To be sure, the rape and violence depicted in the book is shocking, even to a modern audience. Burgess’ incorporation of Nadsat does, to an extent, soften the blow of the brutality being depicted. By placing a language barrier between the reader and the violence, Burgess manages to convey the horror of what is taking place without directly describing it. This transforms the book into a literary exercise of sorts and prevents it from becoming a simple glorification and violence and depravity. Burgess’ demonization of 1960s youth culture is both repellent and curiously compelling. It seems like there is an element of dehumanisation in Burgess’ depiction of working class teenagers as brutal gangsters and criminals. However, for all the novella’s notoriety, A Clockwork Orange is more than just an attack on 20th century youth. It is clear from the faceless and disinterested authority figures in the book that the young criminals are, in a way, victims of an uncaring society. Alex is neither stupid nor psychotic. In another life, he could have been a composer or writer. Raised in a culture of violence however, violence is his only means of expressing himself. A Clockwork Orange is not perfect. The novella was completed in three weeks and parts, particularly towards the end, feel rushed. The resolution is rather abrupt and this is not helped by a somewhat disjointed and uncertain final chapter (excluded in some editions.) The Nadsat dialect is a detailed mix of cockney slang and Slavic terms which is very expressive but can be difficult to circumnavigate at times. These are fairly minor complaints however, and on the whole, A Clockwork Orange is a fascinating and harrowing exploration of the darkest aspects of human nature. A post-colonialist Heart of Darkness. Well worth a read. COVER ART FROM ANTHONYBURGESS.ORG

Tips & Triggers TRY AND WRITE SOME OF YOUR DISSERTATION AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK

CLOSE YOUR EYES. THINK ABOUT EACH OF THE SENSES TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE YOUR CHARACTER.

MAZ COPE ASH SAUNDERS

DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK OTHERS ABOUT WHERE TO GO WITH YOUR WRITING. SOME OF THE BEST IDEAS MAY COME FROM AN OUTSIDE POINT OF VIEW.

WRITER’S BLOCK DOES NOT EXIST. TARA-MARIE HURST DAN MARTIN

TRIGGER OF THE MONTH Your son comes home with a broken hand and won’t tell you why.

FOR POETRY, WRITE ABOUT A SUBJECT BY USING LANGUAGE THAT RELATES TO SOMETHING ELSE.

NIALL GALLEN

LOOK AT WHAT PEOPLE ARE DOING AND MAKE A SIMILE FOR IT.

DAVID SMITH 33

Who Said What? Can you match the quote to the author? A. “Writing a novel is not method acting and I find it easy to step out of character at cocktail hour.” B. “Normally, young writers have all the time in the world and they don't always use it well.” C. “I felt early on that I wasn't going to be a respectable citizen.” D. “I'm not a great writer.”

Cormac McCarthy

J.K Rowling

Bret Easton Ellis

Richard Ford

E. “I imagined being a famous writer would be like being Jane Austen.” F. “I watched Titanic when I got back from the hospital and cried. I knew my IQ had been damaged.”

Hunter S. Thompson

E.L James

G. “The edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”

Margaret Atwood

H. “Some people want to be bank presidents. Other people want to rob banks.”

Zadie Smith

I. “I hate to tell you this, but you will never actually go to a galaxy far, far away and encounter Darth Vader. That's science fiction, it isn't going to happen.”

Stephen King

ANSWERS A) Bret Easton Ellis. B) Zadie Smith. C) Cormac McCarthy. D) E.L James. E) J.K Rowling. F) Stephen King. G) Hunter S Thompson. H) Richard Ford. I) Margaret Atwood

Fancy joining the marketing team for Show Don’t Tell? Roles include:  Poster Design  Poster Distribution  Getting local companies involved  Working on our YouTube Channel  Going into classes to talk about the magazine  Organising the launches and other events  Organising magazine competitions

If it’s something you’re interested in and you would be committed to the role, contact Charl (Editor) now! Just email: s1200844@connect.glos.ac.uk. 35

A WORLD BOOK DAY SPECIAL EVENT

THURSDAY 5

MARCH

7-10pm THE BARN BAR @ THE FROG & FIDDLE FREE ENTRY

BRING PROSE, POETRY, PLAYS, SKITS OR SONG, BUT ABSOLUTELY COME ALONG AND HAVE FUN.

OPEN TO CREATIVE WRITING BA, MA AND PhD STUDENTS 36